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Stay Sparked #6 - “Creating Ourselves New” image

Stay Sparked #6 - “Creating Ourselves New”

Stay Sparked
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10 Plays2 years ago

Episode 6: How to make new habits, resolutions vs. goals vs. aims, accountability, authenticity, and visiting ourselves in the future.


Books mentioned:

Atomic Habits - James Clear

The Four Tendencies - Gretchen Rubin

HOSTS

JANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind.

http://www.nuworldnutritionals.com


BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.

http://poweraffirmation.com/

HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches groups and individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Gratuitous Boobs."
http://links.hugnation.com


MASSIVE Thank you to Dub Sutra for their beautiful opening music. Check out their incredible music catalogue online.
https://dubsutra.com



Recommended
Transcript

Exploring 'Stay Sparked': Themes and Inspirations

00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:05
Speaker
On this show, we explore how to stay inspired in the modern world with the most profound lessons from Burning Man, psychedelics, relationships, entrepreneurship, spirituality, travel, and more.

Personal Growth and Resolutions: Necessary Changes?

00:00:17
Speaker
On today's episode, we talk about how to stay sparked in this idea of personal growth, evolution, making resolutions, and how to improve ourselves over the coming year, and whether that's even how necessary that is as well.
00:00:31
Speaker
We also get to touch on some wonderfully fascinating topics on identity-based goals, becoming new versions of ourselves, as well as staying content with who we already are.
00:00:44
Speaker
We talked about accountability, we talked about habits and stacking habits and shared a few stories from our lives.
00:00:52
Speaker
We really hope you enjoy the episode.
00:00:56
Speaker
Ooh, thank you Dub Sutra for that beautiful intro music.
00:00:58
Speaker
Welcome to Stay

Gratitude and Relationships: Stories and Impact

00:01:00
Speaker
Sparked.
00:01:00
Speaker
I'm Halcyon and I am joined here by Betsy and Yanous.
00:01:05
Speaker
Welcome, Betsy.
00:01:06
Speaker
What are you grateful for today?
00:01:08
Speaker
Oh, good morning.
00:01:11
Speaker
I am grateful for my dear friends who I got to exchange some wonderful gifts with this weekend.
00:01:17
Speaker
We got to adorn each other with things that we already owned, which felt really good, especially coming off our last podcast about gift giving.
00:01:26
Speaker
So I'm wearing a shirt that one of my best friends gave me from her closet.
00:01:29
Speaker
And now it's just like sparking new life for me.
00:01:32
Speaker
So really grateful for re-gifting, I guess you could call it.
00:01:36
Speaker
Love that.
00:01:38
Speaker
Thank you.
00:01:39
Speaker
And Yanus, welcome.
00:01:40
Speaker
What are you grateful for today?
00:01:41
Speaker
Hello, thanks.
00:01:43
Speaker
I am grateful for feeling a lot of gratitude today and for the last couple of days for my partner, actually.
00:01:51
Speaker
My partner, Shannon, has been...
00:01:53
Speaker
has just been in kind of showing up for me in some really lovely ways.
00:01:58
Speaker
And it's been really nice, like just kind of waking up and feeling like feeling juiced up from my relationship is been, you know, there's levels of juice, I guess you'd say, and the levels have been pretty high last few days.
00:02:13
Speaker
And that's been nice waking up into that space.
00:02:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:17
Speaker
you know, just kind of start my days has been, has been good.
00:02:20
Speaker
It gets me, you know, starts, starts my days fired up.
00:02:23
Speaker
So, so it's, that's been good.
00:02:25
Speaker
I'm grateful for that.
00:02:26
Speaker
With a high level of juice.
00:02:29
Speaker
High levels of juice from my relationship.
00:02:31
Speaker
So yeah, so that's been good.
00:02:33
Speaker
Yeah, I'm grateful for the meltdown of Southwest Airlines because it made my bio son's two day visit into an eight day visit.
00:02:43
Speaker
And he spent Christmas with my family and,
00:02:47
Speaker
got to call my mom and dad, grandma and grandpa, and was actually riding my dad around like a horsey.
00:02:53
Speaker
And so it was just such a gift to have a Christmas morning with a three and a half year old and my family to just get to really connect with this little boy that's so important to me.
00:03:03
Speaker
So it was a priceless, precious thing that couldn't have happened without
00:03:09
Speaker
thousands of stranded travelers.
00:03:10
Speaker
So sorry, everyone, but the universe did that for me and you had to kind of be a casualty of it.
00:03:16
Speaker
I'd be interested to see, I haven't seen it yet.
00:03:18
Speaker
I'd be interested to see like a story of like the positive things that came out of that complete debacle and disaster.
00:03:25
Speaker
Cause I know they exist like that.
00:03:27
Speaker
I'm sure there's a lot of stories like that.
00:03:29
Speaker
I'd like to hear those.
00:03:30
Speaker
I'd like to hear those, yeah.
00:03:31
Speaker
The fly the friendly silver lining skies, something.
00:03:35
Speaker
There you go.

New Beginnings and Transformation: What Do They Mean?

00:03:37
Speaker
Well, we are now at the end, the beginning of a year, the ending of a year is a time when people are talking about new beginnings.
00:03:47
Speaker
But it is always time to be thinking about and talk about new beginnings.
00:03:51
Speaker
So we we hope that whenever you're listening to this, you are in the mindset of
00:03:57
Speaker
What does that mean for me and how do we do that?
00:04:00
Speaker
And I'm really eager to have this conversation and hear what you guys are thinking about this topic.
00:04:05
Speaker
Betsy, do you have a specific plan to now I'm going to do something new with your life or are you in a continual state or is there like markers that you do it?
00:04:21
Speaker
Yeah, I love that.
00:04:22
Speaker
Well, I personally feel like I'm in a continuous state of transformation, metamorphosis.
00:04:29
Speaker
I resonate really deeply with the butterfly is one of my totems and just the symbology of what the butterfly goes through in each of its different stages and cycles of life.
00:04:41
Speaker
And I personally feel myself continuously evolving in who I am and what my offerings are.
00:04:49
Speaker
For anyone that knows me that's listening you've seen me go through many different stages of my my professional offerings from doing healing work and massage to having.
00:04:59
Speaker
A clothing line for many years to you know, creating a journal and doing women's empowerment work and.
00:05:05
Speaker
what I've discovered is that the more that I continue to listen to what's being called forth in each moment, then I just follow that inspiration and watch the newness emerge.
00:05:19
Speaker
And I think it's a really fun process to get to be in, to be curious about who I'm becoming.
00:05:24
Speaker
And I love this theme too, because it's becoming new.
00:05:30
Speaker
We're continuously becoming who we are each day.
00:05:34
Speaker
We don't have to stay stagnant in who we used to be.
00:05:37
Speaker
We get to watch the unfolding.
00:05:40
Speaker
I so love the way you said that and that idea of at least what I'm hearing in this idea of transformation is it's not like this upward growth ladder, you know, it's it's
00:05:57
Speaker
shifting changing and it reminds me of like one of my uh idols is you know um uh ziggy stardust um david bowie in and just the the reinvention reinvention reinvention and it's like oh you're allowed to do vastly different things to be vastly different people and um that idea of being of becoming as a as an option i think is kind of revolutionary
00:06:27
Speaker
That idea has actually been around for quite some time.
00:06:31
Speaker
It's the first time I really heard about this idea was from a reading of the Egyptian Book of the Dead, where it referred to like, we have to let go of the idea that we are human beings and that we are humans becoming, that we are always in this state of evolution and growth and decline and decay.
00:06:54
Speaker
Like these things are always happening.
00:06:56
Speaker
And that every morning is another opportunity.
00:06:59
Speaker
They were not attached to a calendar for this sort of thing.
00:07:04
Speaker
And I think that's something that we have, as a Western society, have gotten into.
00:07:08
Speaker
And it would be behoove us to consider another way to be attached so much to, OK, this is the data on the calendar.
00:07:16
Speaker
So now this means I have to start doing this or whatever.
00:07:19
Speaker
It's like, no.
00:07:22
Speaker
We can do this any day.
00:07:23
Speaker
Every morning is another opportunity.
00:07:25
Speaker
Every sunrise is another opportunity to begin again, to begin anew and to be like, okay, so, and it's not this like upward, like you say, like this upward,
00:07:39
Speaker
state of evolution.
00:07:41
Speaker
It is just a, you know, a point on the path.
00:07:44
Speaker
So we don't, it's not that we have to constantly be improving or constantly be growing.
00:07:50
Speaker
It's, you know, that's kind of a fringe benefit of the evolution.
00:07:54
Speaker
But we can, you know, as long as we are, we feel like we are
00:08:00
Speaker
living into our truth, living into what's up, waiting, feeling authentic to us in this moment today.
00:08:05
Speaker
I think, I think that's the idea.
00:08:07
Speaker
And that's the point I wrote down human becoming.
00:08:10
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:08:11
Speaker
Yes.
00:08:12
Speaker
Human becoming.
00:08:12
Speaker
We're human becoming.
00:08:17
Speaker
Yes.
00:08:17
Speaker
It's like the cyclical nature too.
00:08:18
Speaker
I just want to just echo that.
00:08:20
Speaker
you know, honoring the cycles that we each go through at different times, you know, and coming back to the metaphor of the butterfly, right?
00:08:28
Speaker
There's not one stage that is better than the other, you know, to be in full expression with the wings is beautiful, but it's also really beautiful to be in the chrysalis and the goo in the breaking down process.
00:08:42
Speaker
And, you know, there's just so many different levels of our own personal transformations and to honor those parts and looking at nature and,
00:08:51
Speaker
you know, winter time being a time of going inward and death and things are more dormant.
00:08:57
Speaker
And that's okay.
00:08:59
Speaker
That's when we go through these kinds of things, then we can really allow that sort of alchemical process of our transformation to occur.
00:09:08
Speaker
And when we can honor that and trust that there's something new going to be emerging in the spring.
00:09:13
Speaker
You know metaphorically within ourselves as well, whether that's our projects, our relationships, our work, our spiritual beliefs, whatever it is, there's this really beautiful transformation that's occurring in each of the stages.
00:09:30
Speaker
Andrew Smith, Williamsburg Regional Library, This is not at all where I thought this is going to go and I absolutely love this because I mean so like gardening was one of the most the first spiritual practices that I ever had because I got to recognize the beauty of all the cycles, you know, like there are there are flowers like blue bulbs.
00:09:48
Speaker
if it blooms and then you cut off the flower before you let it die, it won't bloom again.
00:09:54
Speaker
It has to grow.
00:09:55
Speaker
It has to die.
00:09:56
Speaker
And so there's all these parts of the natural world.
00:10:00
Speaker
It's not like the bloom is good and the dormant is bad.
00:10:05
Speaker
It's all.
00:10:06
Speaker
And I think that we are entering a time when personal growth is really embracing that.
00:10:15
Speaker
I think there was a time when
00:10:16
Speaker
leaders and teachers were not being quite so vocal about their struggles.
00:10:22
Speaker
And I think that we are now very comfortable as a culture talking about our therapy and our inner work and our trauma work because the act of becoming is the act of struggle, difficulty, as well as growth.
00:10:39
Speaker
It's all part of the process of becoming more, as you were saying, Yanus, your truth.
00:10:44
Speaker
And you can't get to the truth without some decay.
00:10:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:50
Speaker
Sometimes we have to, you know, our stories that we have, you know, written for ourselves need to kind of break down so that, you know, I'm going to be a, you know, I'm going to grow up, I'm going to be a master of industry, or I'm going to be a bestselling author or whatever.
00:11:06
Speaker
And sometimes it's like, wow, I'm actually...
00:11:09
Speaker
a homebody who has a nice little garden.
00:11:12
Speaker
And that's who I am.
00:11:14
Speaker
That's what I'm going to do, or at least for now.
00:11:16
Speaker
And kind of accepting that and realizing that our dreams that we have for ourself seven or 10 years ago, and later, we work to achieve these dreams and like, well, you're not that person anymore.
00:11:33
Speaker
So that's why I feel a lot of people
00:11:36
Speaker
who achieve their dreams and they find that that doesn't bring them like the happiness that they thought it would.
00:11:40
Speaker
It's like, well, because you're not that person anymore.
00:11:42
Speaker
Those dreams were valid, but you have just grown.
00:11:45
Speaker
You have changed unbeknownst to yourself, like unexpectedly.
00:11:50
Speaker
And so it's, it's important to kind of be in this constant state of, you know, of becoming, but in kind of self-checking reassessing like, okay, so where, where am I, who am I?
00:12:00
Speaker
And when, you know, what feels good to me now in this moment or in this season,
00:12:04
Speaker
and pay attention to that.
00:12:06
Speaker
And that's, you know, put your efforts towards that if you're going to effort at all.
00:12:12
Speaker
Definitely.
00:12:13
Speaker
I'd love to echo that as well.
00:12:15
Speaker
And just, you know, considering the theme of this podcast, staying inspired, how do we stay inspired to grow?
00:12:23
Speaker
And how do we stay inspired to create ourselves new?
00:12:27
Speaker
especially when there is this, you know, these dreams or these goals that we have that might not actually get accomplished.
00:12:34
Speaker
You know, how many people set New Year's intentions or resolutions and then maybe they don't follow through or maybe it takes some time, right?

Resolutions vs Aims: Managing Anxiety and Progress

00:12:44
Speaker
And like we can,
00:12:45
Speaker
find ourselves in a downward spiral of shame or frustration or self-criticism about not doing the things, right?
00:12:54
Speaker
And so how do we stay inspired to find the pathway to the upward spiral of
00:13:01
Speaker
of growth and following our joy and not getting stuck in there like, oh, I didn't do that.
00:13:07
Speaker
So I'm not going to set any more goals or like, oh, my dreams don't really matter because I never accomplish anything anyways.
00:13:13
Speaker
But really like, how can we see the perspective that actually, well, maybe that goal I set for myself was maybe a little too lofty or maybe that dream I had was actually, it wasn't aligned for who I am and who I'm becoming.
00:13:27
Speaker
Right.
00:13:28
Speaker
And then looking to other sources, whether that is conversations with friends or reading different books or just following other pathways to get that inspiration to flow towards something that is more aligned.
00:13:44
Speaker
And real quick, just to, you know, say, you know, just to kind of add what Bessie is saying.
00:13:50
Speaker
Yeah, I think I think it's a.
00:13:53
Speaker
I don't know if that was our initial intentions for today, but yeah, I would like to dive into how we do that.
00:14:01
Speaker
How do, you know, so because this is the time of year, it's like, okay, I'm gonna be a better version of me or I'm gonna achieve some goals.
00:14:06
Speaker
How do we do that?
00:14:08
Speaker
Like what's a good way, what are best practices towards, you know, getting ourselves to a place that we wanna get to that so many people like to do this time of year.
00:14:17
Speaker
I wanna touch on this idea of resolutions versus goals.
00:14:21
Speaker
I mean, I think that there's, you know, you mentioned Betsy about the, there's, there's a, a inherent possibility of failure when you set a certain place that you, I've got to get there, you know, and I think that there are times when making a commitment that you, you, there is no wavering, I will do this, you know, that, that there's a really power to do that, but there's not an option I will do, this is happening.
00:14:46
Speaker
But I also think that there is, I personally find resolutions to be filled with so much anxiety about the possibility that I'm going to fail in the future, that it does, it's not a healthy thing.
00:14:57
Speaker
I don't do resolutions.
00:14:59
Speaker
So normally I,
00:15:01
Speaker
I prefer the idea of goals, you know, that because that's just your head.
00:15:05
Speaker
But someone told me recently they prefer aim.
00:15:09
Speaker
So a direction, you know, and I think that gives you a lot of room because then you are constantly making a choice, a decision if you are heading in that direction.
00:15:18
Speaker
And you can say today I am not heading in the direction of of my health, but tomorrow
00:15:26
Speaker
David Price- You didn't fail, you get to make the decision again tomorrow, you just get to continually make this decision and head in a direction, I think that is a really for me a healthy way to to make that upward spirally progress without this kind of nagging darkness of yeah but what if you fail, what if you fail.
00:15:42
Speaker
David Price- So you were mentioning some how to do it, do you have something in your mind of a way to get there.
00:15:52
Speaker
for me, I really actually like your idea or your method, as opposed to, you know, setting a, setting, you know, a goal, I'm going to do this, or I'm going to get to this is almost like, okay, so this year, this is how this is what I'm going to do, instead of saying, okay, like, I want to lose 10 pounds.
00:16:14
Speaker
And
00:16:16
Speaker
I'm going to do the things that might get me or that, you know, should get me to losing 10 pounds.
00:16:22
Speaker
I'm going to walk more.
00:16:23
Speaker
I'm going to hike more.
00:16:26
Speaker
And without saying, I'm going to hike three days a week.
00:16:28
Speaker
I'm going to hike more.
00:16:29
Speaker
I'm going to spend more time hiking.
00:16:31
Speaker
You can leave it, you know, there's a, there's a middle ground between the specific and the general that we can get to.
00:16:36
Speaker
Cause when we're specific, it's super easy to, to
00:16:40
Speaker
to miss that miss that mark and then it's a self-perpetuating kind of thing it's like I miss one then I miss two and what am I even doing I'm not even going to try anymore it's like no no no just I'm just going to hike more um so if that's like one day one day a month then that's more that's fine but this is also a self-perpetuating kind of thing that it's it kind of feeds itself like because you because you if it feels good you do it you end up wanting to do it more and you know the more
00:17:08
Speaker
The more often I hike, the more I want to do that.
00:17:11
Speaker
The more I do something and I kind of feel good about it and I kind of see results, I'm going to be inspired to do that a little bit more.
00:17:18
Speaker
So whether that's exercise or whether that's showing up for my, you know, showing up for children or showing up for my friends or family, I'm going to show up for my mom more.
00:17:26
Speaker
I'm going to call my mom more.
00:17:27
Speaker
I'm not going to call my mom once a week or once a month.
00:17:30
Speaker
I'm just going to call her more often.
00:17:32
Speaker
And then you might find yourself having conversations once a week eventually.
00:17:38
Speaker
That seems like that works.
00:17:39
Speaker
That works for me.
00:17:40
Speaker
And I think that might work better for a lot of us as well.
00:17:43
Speaker
Just finding someplace between the specific and the general to get to specific is a little tricky.
00:17:48
Speaker
For me, I actually, I love this so much because I practiced some really cool things from a book I love called Habit Stacking.
00:17:57
Speaker
Oh, sorry.
00:17:58
Speaker
Atomic Habits.

Future Visualization and Identity-Based Goals

00:17:59
Speaker
And the, the practice is called Habit Stacking.
00:18:03
Speaker
So if you haven't read Atomic Habits, it's an amazing book.
00:18:06
Speaker
It has all kinds of wonderful things in there.
00:18:08
Speaker
And this practice of habit stacking is basically you have an existing habit that you know you already do and you stack on another habit that you're trying to build.
00:18:20
Speaker
So, for example, I already have a habit of drinking water in the morning.
00:18:26
Speaker
And I wanted to start drinking lemon water in the morning.
00:18:30
Speaker
And so what I started to do is I started to put a lemon next to my water bottle.
00:18:37
Speaker
And so that way I'm like remembering to do it.
00:18:40
Speaker
And now it's habitual.
00:18:41
Speaker
It's already something in there.
00:18:43
Speaker
I've been doing it for some time.
00:18:44
Speaker
And then even further, I do this in my groups for affirmation work, where when we want to start implementing using positive thinking into our lives where we're not used to it, then we start stacking the practice of affirmations on different things that we're already doing.
00:19:01
Speaker
So for example, one woman in the group, she started doing her affirmation every time she makes her bed.
00:19:08
Speaker
And she put a little sticky note next to her bed.
00:19:10
Speaker
So that way every morning when she's making her bed, she's repeating that affirmation and she's getting it in there, right?
00:19:17
Speaker
So, or hiking, if hiking is already a habit and you want to start having more gratitude in your life, then you set that intention to stack gratitude onto your existing habit of hiking.
00:19:29
Speaker
And then the other piece from Atomic Habits that I really love that's relevant here is the difference between an outcome based goal versus an identity based goal, which I just love this so much because oftentimes we put this tangible outcome, like I want to, you know, have a new car by the end of the year.
00:19:50
Speaker
Great, wonderful goal, right?
00:19:52
Speaker
You start saving the money to get your new car.
00:19:54
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:19:55
Speaker
And you can also set a goal to see yourself as a new version of yourself, right?
00:20:02
Speaker
So, Janusz, you talked about losing weight, right?
00:20:05
Speaker
And the shift from becoming, you go from losing weight to becoming lighter, right?
00:20:12
Speaker
So my identity-based goal around that is to, you know,
00:20:16
Speaker
Be lighter.
00:20:17
Speaker
I move lighter through the world.
00:20:19
Speaker
I see myself as a lighter version of myself, right?
00:20:22
Speaker
Or they use the example in the book, becoming a non-smoker, having the identity-based goal of seeing yourself as a non-smoker versus focusing on quitting smoking, right?
00:20:34
Speaker
Seeing who are we becoming, right?
00:20:36
Speaker
Are you seeing yourself, your identity-based goal is becoming a CEO or a speaker or a leader or whatever it is.
00:20:45
Speaker
And I love that concept so much.
00:20:47
Speaker
So if you guys haven't read Atomic Habits, it's a really great book to start the year.
00:20:51
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:20:52
Speaker
All year.
00:20:53
Speaker
I have a great tool that I want to share that is totally in line with that.
00:20:57
Speaker
It is something that a number of people that I've studied with teach.
00:21:01
Speaker
Kyle Cease does this and Jacob Glass does this or versions of it where you time travel to the future a year from now.
00:21:10
Speaker
And then you talk about the year that you've had.
00:21:14
Speaker
in the feeling of that space.
00:21:16
Speaker
So rather than saying, I'm going to get healthy and I'm going to
00:21:21
Speaker
buy that new car and I'm gonna get a new job.
00:21:23
Speaker
I do it by writing a letter to my brother or somebody.
00:21:27
Speaker
I go, Jim, oh my God, I've had the most incredible year.
00:21:31
Speaker
I got that job I wanted.
00:21:32
Speaker
And you don't even have to know what it is.
00:21:35
Speaker
You can just say, it's that perfect job that totally does all the things that I love about myself.
00:21:40
Speaker
And my coworkers think I'm great.
00:21:42
Speaker
And oh, and that book idea that I had, I finally got a first draft for it.
00:21:46
Speaker
And for me, like any of the anxiety about,
00:21:50
Speaker
Am I really gonna do that?
00:21:51
Speaker
I don't wanna commit to that.
00:21:52
Speaker
I can just like feel that place of this kind of improv-y energy of I'm in the space of all this things working for me.
00:22:01
Speaker
And then kind of let the year take me there.
00:22:05
Speaker
I love that.
00:22:06
Speaker
I actually did that last year with a girlfriend who lives out of state as a way to stay committed and accountable to this practice that you're speaking to Halcyon.
00:22:14
Speaker
And we call it future forward gratitude.
00:22:18
Speaker
And so each day for 30 days, we committed to sharing a one to two minute voice memo with each other on WhatsApp, sharing our gratitude for the present moment and sharing our gratitude for all
00:22:30
Speaker
what's to come, but in the present tense.
00:22:33
Speaker
So yes, I'm so grateful for all my amazing clients.
00:22:37
Speaker
I'm so grateful for how successful the event I put on was.
00:22:40
Speaker
It feels so good.
00:22:42
Speaker
And then just let it go.
00:22:44
Speaker
There's so much to that, that deeper idea that you can experience feelings from things that are
00:22:52
Speaker
not happening, you know, like you can bring a person into your thoughts, you can bring a success into your thoughts and you can have the feelings of those people and that event.
00:23:04
Speaker
And then I think it's a lot less scary to move towards it.
00:23:10
Speaker
when you've already kind of spent some time there, if that makes any sense.
00:23:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:15
Speaker
Sure, sure.
00:23:16
Speaker
And these things are that we're talking about are practices and they might feel a little like weird or not quite right at first.
00:23:23
Speaker
Like, oh, I'm going to cast myself into the future or write a letter to myself or I'm going to check in with my friends or such.
00:23:30
Speaker
It's important to kind of get past the idea.
00:23:33
Speaker
Like we're not talking about wish casting.
00:23:35
Speaker
We're not doing this.
00:23:37
Speaker
These are ideas that require action.
00:23:41
Speaker
And the great thing is, it's not a lot of action.
00:23:42
Speaker
It's not like you've got to come up with this 10-point plan.
00:23:47
Speaker
You know, have an idea, however you want to come up and come about like this idea of
00:23:53
Speaker
you know, becoming into, you know, creating this life that you're, you know, wanting to want to experience for yourself.
00:24:00
Speaker
These do require, you know, action, some action, you know, a plan of action, like, you know, okay, there is something I'm going to be doing.
00:24:07
Speaker
What feels good to do?
00:24:09
Speaker
What feels, what feels right?
00:24:11
Speaker
What feels appropriate?
00:24:12
Speaker
What feels manageable?
00:24:14
Speaker
To really give some thought to that and be like, okay, so there's, you know, calling, calling my friend, leaving my friend a two minute, you know, voice message every day.
00:24:23
Speaker
that's a good plan of action that's a that is a doable thing um maybe that maybe that's one minute maybe that's five minutes or maybe it's every other whatever um it's important to kind of realize what you've got the bandwidth for um and then you know and then implement a plan of action and you know because it's easy like my own my own my own experience with for example like vision boarding which is a powerful practice
00:24:46
Speaker
But I found myself in the midst of creating a vision board for what I wanted.
00:24:50
Speaker
I'm like, you know, I just had the idea

Accountability in Achieving Goals

00:24:52
Speaker
what I was doing.
00:24:52
Speaker
I'm like, you know, maybe...
00:24:54
Speaker
I could spend less time visioning and actually take an action plan and make a phone call to see if I can make this happen.
00:25:01
Speaker
And within a couple of days, I had made this thing happen that I was spending a lot of time like putting together vision boards and looking for photos and cutting them out and putting them on them.
00:25:10
Speaker
And I just kind of stopped for a second.
00:25:11
Speaker
I'm like, actually, maybe I could spend some time trying to make this happen.
00:25:13
Speaker
And in a couple of days it was happening.
00:25:15
Speaker
So I'm like, okay, so there's a vision boarding is powerful and action.
00:25:21
Speaker
it's probably a little, it's just as powerful as well towards getting towards, it goes together for sure.
00:25:26
Speaker
So it's important not to lose sight of that.
00:25:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:30
Speaker
You can't just like put a picture of a shiny brand new car on your wall and sit around and stare at it all day long.
00:25:37
Speaker
You know, it was like, of course you got to put some energy and effort into going to the dealership and,
00:25:42
Speaker
you know, doing the research and taking the action.
00:25:44
Speaker
And then, you know, I just want to attack on so that the power of accountability is a really valuable thing that we can give and do for ourselves.
00:25:54
Speaker
I feel like I've learned so much, especially this last year with, you know, my girlfriend who we committed to 30 days every day.
00:26:03
Speaker
We missed a couple of days, but that was okay.
00:26:05
Speaker
We just picked back up.
00:26:07
Speaker
And then also I do this with my sister who also lives out of state as a way to stay connected.
00:26:12
Speaker
We have weekly zoom calls and it's a beautiful way that we can one stay up to date on what each other are up to, but we also talk about our wins and our things that we've accomplished and then setting into motion the other things that we want to do.
00:26:30
Speaker
And it's a great way to stay on track.
00:26:33
Speaker
stay up to date with what both of our aspirations are.
00:26:36
Speaker
And it's a really just beautiful place of accountability.
00:26:39
Speaker
And we type it all out and we have like, oh yes, this is what I want to be doing.
00:26:43
Speaker
And then we can check in around, you know, how, how's that going?
00:26:46
Speaker
Do you still want to, you know, set up an art station or whatever it is?
00:26:50
Speaker
And it's like, actually, no, I don't, I don't think I want to do that.
00:26:52
Speaker
I decided I'm going to focus on something else.
00:26:54
Speaker
And
00:26:55
Speaker
That's okay.
00:26:56
Speaker
And checking in about it, having that weekly accountability is so powerful.
00:27:01
Speaker
So whether that's with a friend or your sibling or, you know, paying a coach to do that, I think it's a really beautiful way to keep growing and keep evolving and staying committed to these, these wonderful things that we want to do and who we want to become.
00:27:16
Speaker
Well,
00:27:18
Speaker
Yeah, that's so true.
00:27:19
Speaker
And I think that it's good to know that there's a lot of things.
00:27:24
Speaker
Well, we're all wired a little bit different and we all have different tendencies.
00:27:28
Speaker
There's a great book by Gretchen Rubin called The Four Tendencies.
00:27:31
Speaker
And some people are able to say, I'm going to do this and their accountability to themselves is all they need.
00:27:38
Speaker
And there are some people like, I'm an obliger.
00:27:40
Speaker
So if I say I'm going to do something to you, I will
00:27:45
Speaker
do whatever I can to make sure that I don't let you down, you know, so and so knowing your kind of pain points is helpful, but it's also good to know that like there's most of us have tendencies that will make the argument in our head of like, well, I don't need to get up early to do that today because, you know, maybe, you know, but if you have somebody that an accountability, then then you can't let your own brain
00:28:12
Speaker
Weave the excuse for you.
00:28:14
Speaker
And along those lines, another thing that I learned about habits or if you want to do something like don't say I'm going to walk four days a week.
00:28:28
Speaker
Say you're going to do it every day because every day you don't have to wake up in the morning and you don't have the opportunity to go, today's not one of the days that I'm going to walk.
00:28:38
Speaker
Because you know, I do it every day, every day.
00:28:41
Speaker
And then you don't you just you don't let your brain weave that excuse for you.
00:28:48
Speaker
And that's been super helpful for me every day.
00:28:52
Speaker
So powerful.
00:28:53
Speaker
Yeah, I see that.
00:28:54
Speaker
I see the wisdom in that.
00:28:55
Speaker
And I think that goes that also.
00:28:59
Speaker
Mike Johnson, M.D.: might go a little counter to like you know setting ourselves up for like it is that like that would work for me.
00:29:07
Speaker
Mike Johnson, M.D.: i'm wondering if there's people that might that might feel a little daunted by that by that every day kind of commitment.
00:29:16
Speaker
everyday practice.
00:29:17
Speaker
So again, all these, you know, these, these, these tips and ideas are not, it's like not one size fits all.
00:29:25
Speaker
So it's important to like, there's some people that are going to hear this and be like, oh yeah, that everyday thing is going to be, I can do that.
00:29:30
Speaker
There's other people like, oh, every day.
00:29:32
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:29:33
Speaker
That's a lot.
00:29:34
Speaker
So, so, you know, for anybody who's listening,
00:29:39
Speaker
feel free to adapt, adapt these ideas, come up with your own ideas and adjust it, tailor it for yourself and see how you can make it work for yourself.
00:29:55
Speaker
Yeah, I love that so much.
00:29:56
Speaker
Yes, it's so true.
00:29:57
Speaker
We're each our own unique person.
00:30:00
Speaker
So we find ways that work for each of us.
00:30:02
Speaker
And I'll also just echo what you shared, Halcyon, around being an obliger.
00:30:07
Speaker
I also feel a lot of power when I speak a intention to someone out loud.
00:30:14
Speaker
It's like, okay, well, I shared it out loud and now it's like, oh, okay, I got to do that.
00:30:19
Speaker
And so I have a little story about that.
00:30:21
Speaker
So a few years ago, I had this inspiration to create a journal and
00:30:26
Speaker
And it was like kind of daunting and kind of scary.
00:30:29
Speaker
It felt like a big stretch for me, but I felt it really strongly.
00:30:33
Speaker
And so what I did is on my birthday, I called together a group of eight of my closest friends and had a little birthday circle.
00:30:41
Speaker
And I shared with them my intention and I asked them to hold me accountable for
00:30:47
Speaker
throughout the year to do this.
00:30:50
Speaker
And they were such a yes.
00:30:52
Speaker
And they committed to having email thread with me, checking in about once a month or so saying, hey, how's the journal coming?
00:31:01
Speaker
And it was such a gift because I could have easily been too overwhelmed by this big project I was taking on.
00:31:09
Speaker
I'd be like, no, I'm just going to stay comfortable in doing the things I know how to do.
00:31:13
Speaker
But because I told my confidants that I was doing this, then I had to keep showing up because I didn't want to respond to that email, say, oh, I haven't done anything.
00:31:25
Speaker
And it worked because then I ended up creating it and launching it.
00:31:29
Speaker
And now it's a huge part of my life and my offering.
00:31:31
Speaker
And I feel like having that circle really helped me a lot.
00:31:36
Speaker
So that sense of like sharing and obligation to it.
00:31:41
Speaker
Andrew Roth, Williamsburg Regional Library, Ph.D.: And it's an interesting thing because what you're you're you're recognizing.
00:31:44
Speaker
Andrew Roth, Williamsburg Regional Library, Ph.D.: What is going to cause you pain and suffering, which is letting your friends down and you're kind of using that to keep you on track i've heard some interesting ways of doing it like I Kyle sees had a thing where he said.
00:31:55
Speaker
Andrew Roth, Williamsburg Regional Library, Ph.D.: Like.
00:31:59
Speaker
agree that if you don't follow through on this meditation practice, you will send a $500 check to Donald Trump or something like that.
00:32:10
Speaker
You have to do the thing that you said you're going to do because otherwise you agree to do something that would just make you feel terrible.
00:32:16
Speaker
I apologize if anyone, I didn't mean to assume that if you listen to this show that you would not want to send money to Donald Trump.
00:32:24
Speaker
Yeah, I think that is a real important point to touch on is to like the idea of telling people to speak it out loud.
00:32:35
Speaker
Because it's kind of an interesting fact around the world that nothing is created without it being spoken.
00:32:44
Speaker
Like there is no...
00:32:46
Speaker
relationships don't just happen.
00:32:49
Speaker
Ping's material things don't just happen.
00:32:51
Speaker
For this tapestry behind me, somebody had to say, I'm going to make this tapestry, or we are going to make this tapestry, or we are going to recreate a company that makes tapestries.
00:33:01
Speaker
I'm going to get a new car.
00:33:03
Speaker
We are going to be in relationship.
00:33:04
Speaker
We are going to move into a new house, or we're moving to
00:33:08
Speaker
you know, Denver or whatever, nothing happens in the realm of our mind.
00:33:13
Speaker
Or even in the realm of writing down, like these things need to be uttered.
00:33:16
Speaker
Like the sound aspect of creation is a real thing.
00:33:22
Speaker
And it's important too.
00:33:24
Speaker
So whatever our goals are, like Betsy was saying, like,
00:33:28
Speaker
say it out loud, like put it out there into the, to the world, into reality.
00:33:34
Speaker
And you, we might find ourselves surprised by how quickly things come to, come to, come to fruition.
00:33:40
Speaker
There's a lot of, a lot of, I think we all have an example in our lives.
00:33:44
Speaker
Like we had an idea of something we wanted to do, but we never really said it.
00:33:47
Speaker
And we might've even written it down, but we never put it out there.
00:33:50
Speaker
And a lot of times it just kind of,
00:33:53
Speaker
fizzles out because there's not, you know, you have to put a, a,
00:33:58
Speaker
In my experience, you have to put a specific kind of energy into things.
00:34:02
Speaker
And that's really simply done just by speaking it into existence.
00:34:07
Speaker
Even if that's not the goal, I'm not going to speak this into existence.
00:34:09
Speaker
It's going to happen.
00:34:10
Speaker
It's like, well, that is a step in the process.
00:34:13
Speaker
It's really just putting it out there.
00:34:16
Speaker
And I'm constantly, not surprised anymore, but I was for a while.
00:34:20
Speaker
I was like, wow, you speak these things and then it comes to fruition.
00:34:24
Speaker
The idea that sound creates matter.
00:34:27
Speaker
has a lot of different permutations.
00:34:29
Speaker
And it's a big one.
00:34:30
Speaker
So that's an important goal.
00:34:32
Speaker
That's an important step in the process.
00:34:34
Speaker
Yes, so true.
00:34:36
Speaker
Thank you for that, Yonuz.
00:34:37
Speaker
Yeah, and community really supports that, right?
00:34:40
Speaker
I know over the years, sharing different things with you guys even, and when you've checked in with me, how's that thing that you're working on going?
00:34:48
Speaker
And when I do that with my friends as well, hey, remember a couple years ago you were talking about making this thing, how's that going?
00:34:57
Speaker
And it's really powerful because there's been times where I've held these things that I've said I was gonna do and then didn't do it.
00:35:05
Speaker
And then somebody comes back around and is like, hey, how is that thing?
00:35:08
Speaker
And then being able to verbally say, you know what, I actually chose not to do that.
00:35:13
Speaker
I kind of like put that to rest.
00:35:14
Speaker
It was a really fun idea, but I kind of let it go.
00:35:16
Speaker
Or that sort of fizzled.
00:35:18
Speaker
Like there's something in my nervous system that just goes, like that's good to just say that out loud rather than having this like internal kind of like tension around not doing the thing or like,
00:35:30
Speaker
personal shame or whatever it is.
00:35:32
Speaker
It's like, oh, actually, no, it's okay.
00:35:34
Speaker
Or even just checking in with somebody also can spark the re-ignition of that project.
00:35:42
Speaker
It's like, oh, hey, how's that book that you said you were wanting to write?
00:35:46
Speaker
It's like, actually, you know what?
00:35:48
Speaker
I feel like I want to start putting some more energy into that.
00:35:52
Speaker
Michael Furnissmane, I think Community is so huge, I think the other part is that and about becoming new there, a part of it is what we're talking about right now about actions and doing and goals and going for your goals, but I think there is another part of it that is.
00:36:08
Speaker
Michael Furnissmane, More about allowing and more about removing the things that are not your truth and so it's less about.
00:36:20
Speaker
making things happen in the world and more about questioning the things that your values, your, your goals, even your insane, is this, is this really who I am or did this, is this something that I learned, you know, from a,
00:36:35
Speaker
John Hughes movie when I was a kid, you know, or, and I've thought that this is what I wanted and actually I don't, you know?
00:36:42
Speaker
And so there's, there's a lot of my becoming a new has been a process of just realizing that something I thought was me, wasn't me.
00:36:52
Speaker
And then just,
00:36:53
Speaker
allowing that to come.
00:36:55
Speaker
And then the kind of what do I do from there, it doesn't even take as much motivation because it feels like, well, that's just what I feel like doing now.
00:37:03
Speaker
Yes.
00:37:04
Speaker
And that's what Burning Man is really great for.

Authentic Self and Identity Exploration

00:37:06
Speaker
Here we are, some seasoned burners, and Burning Man provides a beautiful playground to try out new identities, new characters, new expressions of ourself, right?
00:37:17
Speaker
That week long in the desert or longer for some.
00:37:20
Speaker
to be able to express in a whole new way and discover this aspect.
00:37:26
Speaker
Costumes and clothing can really help that to be able to discover who I am.
00:37:33
Speaker
And one of the other ways that I love getting to do that is through clothing exchanges.
00:37:39
Speaker
um i love you know eco fashion where we're getting to recycle things and let go of things that are no longer who we were and open to try something new and in a clothing exchange you're not buying anything and so there's less of a resistance to try something that you wouldn't normally wear
00:37:58
Speaker
So every time I do a clothing exchange, I always try to put on an outfit that I wouldn't normally say is my quote unquote style, just to feel what it feels like to walk in this way and to move in a different way and kind of start to see
00:38:15
Speaker
Is this a new evolution of who I could potentially be?
00:38:20
Speaker
And just try it on.
00:38:21
Speaker
And sometimes even just try a new outfit on for like a couple of weeks and see how that feels.
00:38:27
Speaker
It's a really wonderful exploration of evolving our identities or allowing ourselves to become new or just staying curious about who we're becoming.
00:38:40
Speaker
Yeah, that idea of self-inquiry is important to this, to what we're talking about.
00:38:46
Speaker
There's some people that may like, you know, when it comes time to make resolutions or to make goals, because that's what everybody does, to kind of check in with yourself and be like, okay, do I want this?
00:38:59
Speaker
What is it that I want to do?
00:39:00
Speaker
And if you're good with where you're at, there's nothing wrong with that.
00:39:05
Speaker
There's a lot of, there's this idea, especially in the Western world about
00:39:09
Speaker
this constant need to self-improve and this, we're constantly in this upward trajectory.
00:39:14
Speaker
It's cool to be like good with where you're at, at least for now.
00:39:18
Speaker
It's like, you know, I have some goals, but you know, this season or this year, I'm just going to chill out.
00:39:23
Speaker
I'm just going to be with myself.
00:39:25
Speaker
And, and maybe that's an important thing, you know, that would be a time to, you know, figure out a few things.
00:39:30
Speaker
So before I'm going to set some goals, I'm going to decide if, you know, who I'm, you know, who I'm trying to be or who am I actually,
00:39:38
Speaker
that idea of self-inquiry is important to this process as well and be like, okay, so am I cool with like my identity and what I'm doing?
00:39:47
Speaker
If so, fantastic.
00:39:49
Speaker
And if not, you know, why am I unhappy with

Contentment and Personal Growth Stages

00:39:52
Speaker
that?
00:39:52
Speaker
And then you can find a way to get to that place or shift gears entirely and do something completely new.
00:39:58
Speaker
But really checking in with yourself and finding out what, you know, what it is that we're trying to do here.
00:40:04
Speaker
I love that you brought up that you don't have to keep changing and growing.
00:40:09
Speaker
It can be fine.
00:40:10
Speaker
It's a very Western idea, bigger, better, more, bigger, better, more, and that we can fall into personal growth traps like that.
00:40:17
Speaker
It reminds me of one of my
00:40:20
Speaker
life-changing stories i i was in college i did mushrooms for the first time i was taking psychology classes and because i was in college i figured i knew everything and so i was gonna help my dad understand the meaning of life and how he didn't you know he was and so took him to this isolated beach and i was like dad what is it that you really want out of life man i'm gonna try and i get this whole script of how i'm gonna get him to this realization dad what do you really want out of life man
00:40:47
Speaker
And he walks on the beach for like a minute of silence and then he says, more of the same.
00:40:52
Speaker
And I was like, dude, that's the greatest answer ever.
00:40:58
Speaker
You win.
00:40:58
Speaker
What was I thinking?
00:41:01
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, you're right.
00:41:03
Speaker
If you're doing good, you're doing good.
00:41:05
Speaker
Yes.
00:41:06
Speaker
And then coming back to also the stages of metamorphosis, where I've witnessed to myself and also working with different people is that we all go through different stages at different times, right?
00:41:18
Speaker
Like the sometimes we're rapidly transforming and sometimes there's these long
00:41:24
Speaker
process where we're like in a deep chrysalis, you know, deep transformation, and it might be years, right?
00:41:32
Speaker
And some people are going through that process like many times in a day, right?
00:41:36
Speaker
And it's okay to accept how our each of our process moves at different times.
00:41:41
Speaker
And to be in that place of acceptance.
00:41:42
Speaker
I think that's so beautiful to
00:41:44
Speaker
Yeah, I feel content with how life is.
00:41:47
Speaker
Yeah, I'm happy with where I am.
00:41:50
Speaker
Yeah, if that's authentic to you, fantastic.
00:41:53
Speaker
And that, you know,
00:41:54
Speaker
it kind of links to a lot of the things that we talked about in the previous episodes, you know, that idea of authenticity, like what's real, what's true for you.
00:42:03
Speaker
And if, you know, being in this place of like, okay, time to evolve, time to grow is, feels authentic to you.
00:42:11
Speaker
Fantastic.
00:42:12
Speaker
But like Halcyon saying, like not getting caught up in the trap of continuous growth, continuous evolution.
00:42:20
Speaker
It's going to have, that's going to happen regardless.
00:42:22
Speaker
So, but figuring out, um,
00:42:24
Speaker
you know, finding peace with where you're at.
00:42:27
Speaker
And if you are peaceful with where you're at is an important part of the whole process.
00:42:33
Speaker
Yes, and trust.
00:42:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:35
Speaker
I wanted to touch on what you said, Betsy, about these kind of some of these long arcs of growth.
00:42:40
Speaker
And I think that what can be really helpful is occasionally I try to, if I find myself doing something that I would not have done five years ago, for example,
00:42:51
Speaker
Like I not get angry in a conversation, you know, or not lose my temper, not get frustrated by something.
00:42:57
Speaker
Really trying to be like, you grew, look at that, this is evidence, you know, this is what you were trying to do.
00:43:05
Speaker
This wasn't you five years ago, because it's sometimes you don't, it's easy to get discouraged in the moment and you've got to build up this evidence that, yeah, yeah, no, I'm becoming new.
00:43:16
Speaker
It's working, it's just maybe I'm not noticing it because it's happening slowly.
00:43:20
Speaker
Slow growth.
00:43:21
Speaker
Yes, absolutely.
00:43:22
Speaker
It's like if you see a puppy every single day, it's hard to see its growth.
00:43:26
Speaker
But if you see a puppy when it's six weeks and then you wait two weeks and you don't see it for that time, then you're like, wow, it's grown so much.
00:43:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:33
Speaker
Yeah, it's a process.
00:43:34
Speaker
You know, there was a little while where I was like stuck in a pattern.
00:43:38
Speaker
I was feeling like just uncomfortable myself.
00:43:41
Speaker
And I just kept saying like, I just need to have a breakthrough.
00:43:45
Speaker
I just need that big breakthrough.
00:43:46
Speaker
What is it?
00:43:47
Speaker
Like I can't see it.
00:43:48
Speaker
I feel.
00:43:49
Speaker
And then I like actually had this realization that I was having all these micro breakthroughs and to just be patient with the process.
00:43:58
Speaker
And I was like, oh, okay.
00:43:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:00
Speaker
Right.
00:44:00
Speaker
Okay.
00:44:01
Speaker
Little, little steps, little changes every day.
00:44:05
Speaker
And sure enough, then I started to see a whole new world around me emerging from those like my, like little tiny shifts in my consciousness.
00:44:17
Speaker
That's, that's one of the nice things about, um, uh,
00:44:21
Speaker
having some years behind you and building a little bit of wisdom as you start to go, okay, I've gone through this enough times.
00:44:26
Speaker
Like I, my cycle is all my good ideas are behind me.
00:44:32
Speaker
I'm never gonna have anything else good.
00:44:34
Speaker
You know, like I'm done, you know, and then after some barren creative time,
00:44:42
Speaker
I know what I'm gonna do next, you know, and I've gone through that, you know, a dozen times now in significant ways.
00:44:47
Speaker
So now when I'm in the I'm no more for me, I'm done.
00:44:51
Speaker
It's like, yeah, okay, we've been I'm not gonna let you not gonna spend too much energy.
00:44:58
Speaker
I'll just wait it out and be patient.
00:45:00
Speaker
And so that's the the negative talk is has lost its authority over the years.
00:45:09
Speaker
That's good.
00:45:09
Speaker
That's good, yeah.
00:45:11
Speaker
Yeah, and that's one of those things, just to touch on that as well.
00:45:15
Speaker
It's like, there's too many examples in this world of people finding their sweet spot later in life too.
00:45:22
Speaker
So it's easy to be like, oh, look around at everybody else who's 30 years old and be like, wow, so many people have achieved so much and here I am not doing any, not reaching my goals or whatever.
00:45:35
Speaker
It's like, no, you've got time.
00:45:37
Speaker
So there's too many examples of people, you know, really hitting their sweet spot at the age of 50 or what is that or finding that the love of their life at like,
00:45:46
Speaker
you know, 60, 60, even, or 80.
00:45:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:49
Speaker
And it's like these, there's, the whole world is available to you at all times.
00:45:53
Speaker
So you'll, you'll get, you'll get there, you know, in your own speed.
00:45:56
Speaker
And the idea of like, okay, there's this, there's a season, our lives have seasons and, and, you know, you'll find yourself, you know, going up and down and up and down, but it's not necessarily has to be this upward trajectory.
00:46:09
Speaker
You're just moving forward is all.
00:46:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:12
Speaker
Yeah, I think that there's, but just to tie on that is that I don't think our goal is, can ever satisfy us doing something.
00:46:26
Speaker
It's always gotta be becoming someone, you know?
00:46:30
Speaker
Like the only real success we're ever gonna be satisfied with is becoming your authentic self.
00:46:37
Speaker
And then what that looks like might be that you,
00:46:41
Speaker
Andrew Roth, Williamsburg Regional Library, You know start a massive company, it might mean that you are.
00:46:44
Speaker
Andrew Roth, Williamsburg Regional Library, Powerfully present for your family, it might mean you're a body worker, it might mean all things, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have done this dramatic grand thing in the world because that's not going to make you happy unless you are.
00:46:58
Speaker
Andrew Roth, Williamsburg Regional Library, Your truth.
00:47:01
Speaker
unless that's your truth.
00:47:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:02
Speaker
So, uh, but yeah, it always, it always comes back to authenticity.
00:47:06
Speaker
It doesn't really matter what we're, whatever we're talking about.
00:47:08
Speaker
If it's true to yourself, then, uh, then you're good to go.
00:47:13
Speaker
Why didn't we start with that?
00:47:14
Speaker
We just wasted an hour.
00:47:15
Speaker
Well, this has been such a beautiful conversation as always.

Personal Projects and Affirmations

00:47:22
Speaker
Where can people find your gifts in the world, Betsy?
00:47:27
Speaker
Well, I have some wonderful offerings to support this conversation actually becoming new and reinventing ourselves and one of my most treasured passions right now is the power affirmation project.
00:47:41
Speaker
There's a process within a journal and a virtual group that I offer that really helps
00:47:47
Speaker
people to get into deep relationship with what our belief systems are about ourselves in these different areas of life, our beliefs about the world, and really work on unwinding the beliefs that we don't want to carry anymore and create new belief systems using self-inquiry prompts and affirmations and letters to ourselves and gratitude and so much more.
00:48:11
Speaker
practices to really help to support the the growth of who we're becoming.
00:48:16
Speaker
So you can find that on power affirmation.com.
00:48:20
Speaker
And then I also work with people in person doing intuitive coaching and bodywork, energy work and sound healing here in San Diego and part time in Asheville, North Carolina.
00:48:31
Speaker
Beautiful.
00:48:32
Speaker
Thank you.
00:48:33
Speaker
And how about you, you news?
00:48:37
Speaker
I have a, well, I do want to hear, you know, I'm sure Betsy's got a good affirmation for us to send us off with.
00:48:45
Speaker
Before that, I do want to share that I've got a company called New World Nutritionals, which is NU, World Nutritionals, and we have a line of nutritional supplements that are all geared for
00:48:59
Speaker
improving our cereals neurologically, all good things to kind of improve your mindset.
00:49:05
Speaker
So it's a microdose product.
00:49:07
Speaker
Our main product is called Micromicel Plus, and it's a nutritional supplement that helps you.
00:49:13
Speaker
My partner calls it a spa day for your brain.
00:49:14
Speaker
It just kind of helps you reframe, improves, you know, it's a mood.
00:49:18
Speaker
It's a mood adjuster, we'll call it.
00:49:21
Speaker
It kind of helps you to view things in a more positive, more authentic light.
00:49:28
Speaker
And yeah, it's definitely helped me achieve my goals, get my, get kind of get my head right about certain things.
00:49:33
Speaker
I've experienced a lot of, you know, progress and growth myself since I've been, you know, since this, since founded this company and using the products myself and getting a lot of great feedback from people as well.
00:49:45
Speaker
So you can find the link in our show notes and the code SPART is good for, for 10% off about our products as well.
00:49:55
Speaker
So
00:49:56
Speaker
Yeah, that's my main offering to the world at the moment.
00:50:00
Speaker
And it feels good to be providing that.
00:50:02
Speaker
Thank you, Anous.
00:50:04
Speaker
And I want to let people know about the other podcast that I'm doing that I invite you to give a listen to.
00:50:08
Speaker
It is called Gratuitous Boobs.
00:50:10
Speaker
It is available on all the places.
00:50:13
Speaker
It is, with my brother and another old friend, we watch old 80s movies that warped us and analyze and laugh at all the things that...
00:50:26
Speaker
created some personality issues.
00:50:28
Speaker
So it's kind of relevant to this topic, you know, like, like going back and realizing, oh my gosh, this, this, seeing these examples of what the way we thought the world was supposed to be, you know, affects us who we were.
00:50:39
Speaker
And, and, and so we, we have a lot of fun breaking, breaking down and you'd be surprised the movies you thought were good are pretty atrocious and cringy.
00:50:47
Speaker
So give a listen, look for a, do a search on gratuitous boobs.
00:50:51
Speaker
Maybe don't listen to it at work.
00:50:55
Speaker
So Betsy, would you close us with a affirmation?
00:51:00
Speaker
Yes, I would be honored to.
00:51:02
Speaker
There is an affirmation that is very relevant that I've been using pretty much daily for the last few years.
00:51:08
Speaker
And I use it in my groups.
00:51:10
Speaker
And I'm going to share with you a practice on how to use this affirmation, because this is from Paramahansa Yogananda's practice of science of affirmations.
00:51:20
Speaker
When we start speaking the affirmation out loud and then we get quieter and quieter and quieter until it's just an internal thought.
00:51:28
Speaker
And the affirmation is I love who I am and I love who I'm becoming.
00:51:33
Speaker
I love who I am.
00:51:35
Speaker
I love who I'm becoming.
00:51:37
Speaker
I love who I am and I love who I'm becoming.
00:51:40
Speaker
I love who I am and I love who I'm becoming.
00:51:44
Speaker
I love who I am and I love who I'm becoming.
00:51:52
Speaker
Just internally now.
00:51:57
Speaker
And in this affirmation, this is a reminder for us that we can trust that we are in a state of continuous evolution and to just keep coming back to that place of loving the process of who we are and who we are becoming.
00:52:11
Speaker
Stay sparked.
00:52:14
Speaker
Thank you both.
00:52:14
Speaker
Thank you, Betsy.
00:52:15
Speaker
Thank you.
00:52:16
Speaker
Halcyon.
00:52:17
Speaker
Thank you guys.