Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Autistic Introvert or Extrovert? - Working On Your Social Skills w/Autienelle
296 Plays5 years ago
What is masking as an autistic person? How do autistic and neurotypical differ in communication style? How do you improve your social communication skills?
In this episode of the Thoughty Auti Podcast, Thomas talks to a librarian and Instagram spokesperson Lauren (@Autienelle) about what it means to be social on the autistic spectrum. Lauren has always been the type of person to mask at school and she tried her very best to fit in with society, it's only later in life that she realised just how much she needed her own space to be happy and has since tapered down her extroverted ventures. Thomas, on the other hand, has always been very withdrawn and quiet at school but found that with age that he enjoys being more extroverted and outgoing than he previously thought.
Are there any benefits or negatives to masking in certain situations, what things should you keep in mind when partaking in large extroverted endeavours & how do you go from being lonely and isolated... to well networked and outgoing?
There is often a hidden misconception that autistic people don't enjoy socialising or prefer to be alone; whilst we may need more space than your average joe, we are all human and interaction with other people can enrich someone's life more than you can comprehend.
Both Thomas and Lauren come from two different ends on the extroversion scale, and with that in mind, they discuss all the techniques and methods of getting that social interaction many people crave, but so often... can't find.
If you have an exciting or interesting story and want to appear on the next Podcast, please contact me at: aspergersgrowth@gmail.com
Lauren's Link:-
►https://www.instagram.com/autienelle/
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Channel Merchandise - https://teespring.com/stores/aspergers-growth
Support via Patreon! - https://www.patreon.com/aspergersgrowth
Social Media ♥ -
☼ Facebook - Aspergers Growth
☼ Twitter/Instagram - @aspergersgrowth
♫ Listen On -
Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/6vjXgCB7Q3FwtQ2YqPjnEV
Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/thoughty-auti-the-autism-mental-health-podcast/id1470689079
Music -
♫ Track: [Chill Music] Ikson - Reverie [No Copyright Music]
Advert Track: Empty Parking Lot - Colours Of Illusion [Epidemic Sound]
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to The 40 Auti Podcast
00:00:07
Speaker
Good day, my lovely listeners. You are listening to The 40 Auti Podcast. Tune in every week to explore inspiring stories and insightful information that dive headfirst into the world of autism and mental health. With all those tantalizing tongue twisters out of the way, let's get into the show.
Personal Update and Intro to Social Aspies
00:00:41
Speaker
Hello everybody, welcome back to the 40 Oti podcast. How are you guys doing? It's been a stressful day at work for me, had a lot on, so it's nice to come here and chat to you guys as well.
00:00:57
Speaker
Today we are talking about social aspies and extroverted activities. Sounds like I've sort of made that up to be some kind of rhyming thing, but really it's not. It just happens to be like that. Not that you care, but it's okay. Right.
Guest Introduction: Lauren from Aspynl
00:01:15
Speaker
So today I've got a very special guest as always, and it is Lauren from the Aspynl Instagram page. Say hi, Lauren.
00:01:27
Speaker
Hi, thanks for having me. No worries. How are you doing today? I'm doing pretty good. It's been a low-key day. I'm excited to be here. Excited to talk about some autism. Do a bit of monologuing. Back and forth monologuing. Always, always love talking about autism.
00:01:47
Speaker
Well, we have that in common. So do you want to introduce everybody a little bit into who you are and what you do on Instagram, what you do for work, your kind of diagnosis and stuff?
Lauren's Background and Diagnosis
00:02:01
Speaker
Yeah, of course. So I'm Lauren Melissa. I also go by Aspianel. And in real life outside of the internet social media world, I am a librarian. I am based out of New York City. And I was diagnosed with autism five years ago.
00:02:22
Speaker
when I was 23 years old, so I was a late diagnosis. And since then, I've just kind of really explored autism spectrum disorder, Asperger's syndrome, learned more about myself, and I've just really been excited to share with people my experiences and where I've come from and where I'm going. So it's great to be connected to the autism community now. And where about are you based in the world?
00:02:51
Speaker
I'm based in New York city and the United States, obviously. And I, I'm not from here though. Originally. I'm from California, the other side of the country. Ah, Kelly. Very nice. So it is the much slight contrast between New York and California.
00:03:12
Speaker
Definitely a contrast, especially in weather because I'm from Southern California. But I enjoy both places. They have a lot to offer. And it's nice to be in New York City versus San Diego. Both are great. There's a lot of different kinds of people, a lot of diversity, and a lot to get involved in. So I enjoy it here.
00:03:32
Speaker
Cool. And are you happy to be in the big city? Because I know that I personally, I like my little small towns. That's my safe space. I lived in Manchester for about three years and I got by, but it was a little bit too busy and noisy and too many people. Do you find that living in a city is all right for you? So when I first told people that I was moving to New York City,
00:04:01
Speaker
They were astonished. They said, how are you going to make it there with all this sensory stimulation? Fortunately, I actually live in a more residential area in New York City. So my neighborhood where I live is pretty quiet. And I also work outside of the city in a quieter area. So whenever I go into that big heart of Manhattan or those big high crowded areas, it's always an intentional choice.
00:04:29
Speaker
So you're sort of ready to face it. Exactly. That's good. I like that kind of thing. I mean, the place that I live, so I live in like North Yorkshire in the UK and North Yorkshire is pretty quiet. It's more of like, it's not, it's like the opposite side of the country to London. So it's good, like the town's quite,
00:04:57
Speaker
It's not busy, but it's busy enough for it to be something that I think about when I go out. But I live, you know, like 20, 25 minutes from the town centre and where I live, it's quiet, you know, I live opposite a field and it's quite nice. And if I want to go do stuff that's a bit more outgoing and all that, then I can sort of walk into the centre in about 20 minutes, which is nice.
Diagnosis Journey and Autism in Women
00:05:24
Speaker
So yeah, you said that you were diagnosed when you were 23. How was that? How was that experience for you?
00:05:32
Speaker
Oh, well being diagnosed was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me because it's not like I wasn't autistic before I was diagnosed. I just didn't know what was going on. Um, prior to that, I'd been diagnosed with a multiplicity of things, migraines, fibromyalgia, just, I could go on and on and on. Um, I really struggled with social interactions and with keeping friends. And I just had no idea why I would
00:06:01
Speaker
get super angry at times, which we now know is melting down or why I would burn out. And so finally I had this very eye opening workplace conflict with a colleague where I thought that I had been being very supportive and helpful to her. And she completely thought I was a snob stuck up, trying to control her, like every negative adjective you could pull out. And I,
00:06:31
Speaker
I had had that experience before and I was kind of getting tired of it because I was like, how can I not be nice to people? Like I don't understand how can I build friendships and relationships if when I'm trying my hardest, everybody thinks that.
00:06:44
Speaker
I am hurting them. And so I had looked up Asperger's syndrome before because I had always been looking up multiple diagnoses in high school, trying to figure out what was going on when I was struggling back then as well. Every time I took a screener, I would come up as not autistic, non Asperger's. But then after that workplace conflict, I, I just got this idea. What if I look up Asperger's syndrome in women?
00:07:14
Speaker
And I came across Rudy Simones, Traits and Symptoms of Aspergers in Females and Women. And it was like I read a description of myself. And from that moment forward, I started doing more research, reading all the books I could find about Aspian women. And then I sought a formal diagnosis. About three-fourths of the way through that, the psychiatrist was like, we're going to keep doing the evaluation.
00:07:44
Speaker
but I just want you to know that you are on the spectrum. So it was a great thing. I cried, she cried for me. It was such a relief to know that there was an answer and definitely. Yeah, it was great.
00:08:02
Speaker
It must have been quite sort of taxing on you both like monetary wise and energy and motivation wise to have to go like going to screenings and being sort of turned away when you know that there is something there that they're not seeing.
00:08:21
Speaker
I think it's a lot easier for girls to sort of slip under the radar when it comes to assessments and stuff like that, especially like in adulthood.
00:08:34
Speaker
You know, like you tend to have a lot more of like those, sounds bad when I'm saying it, but like superficial non-autistic traits, if that makes sense. So like you're very good at like social mimicry and copying facial expressions and stuff. Whereas I feel like for the most of the autistic guys I've met, that's, it doesn't really happen.
00:08:58
Speaker
Yes, the masking of our traits and things like that. It's pretty common and I think a big part of it has to do with the fact that just in childhood in general, girls are given more directives than boys and told how to behave. I think there's studies on just how many more directives girls receive than boys.
00:09:18
Speaker
And so we learn very early on to act a certain way, be a certain way, pretend to be something. But it's really psychologically damaging for autistic girls and all girls, to be honest, but autistic girls very much so because we just completely deny who we are. I bet. It must be quite a relief because I remember when I got diagnosed and I was 10 years old and I found that relief, but 23.
00:09:47
Speaker
That's, I can't, I can't even comprehend how that would feel because it's, you know, obviously like I'm 22. It's like next year I would be diagnosed and that's when I would know that just seems absolutely crazy to me.
Impact of Diagnosis on Personal Understanding
00:10:01
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, never too late, right?
00:10:05
Speaker
Definitely, and I know a lot of people, public figures in the news and stuff have got late diagnoses and stuff. There's this lady called Louise Croomes that I did a little BBC video with and she got diagnosed, I think, in her
00:10:25
Speaker
late thirties which is mad it's crazy it's insane like I can't even comprehend what that would be like but it is I suppose the main thing is that you know now and once you know you sort of you can look at your past and stuff and you can sort of pick stuff out and analyze it and get over things that troubled you when you were younger would you say that that's something that you did
00:10:54
Speaker
Most definitely. After my diagnosis, it made so much of my childhood and adolescence make sense in ways that had never made sense before. Just from small things to me lining up and
00:11:09
Speaker
creating these really strange, like organized Barbie doll worlds, but never playing with them, um, to, to, um, you know, going to school one day and finding out that all of my friends no longer liked me and I had no idea why. Yeah. So I empathize with that a lot.
00:11:32
Speaker
Yes, it's tough. I think middle school years and high school years were some of the toughest of my life.
Social Challenges in School
00:11:40
Speaker
College too, but middle school, when everybody is already awkward and trying to figure out how to be a teen, I just
00:11:47
Speaker
I wasn't ready for it and I made so many quote-unquote social mistakes, which were just me being myself. But my peers, they caught on to that very quickly and I was rejected pretty fast, I would say.
00:12:03
Speaker
But on the flip side, at least I did well in school, so I had some positive memories there. We've always got those high-grade figures, you know, that eight-point increase in the IQ and all that above average intelligence. Not saying that that's taken away from your achievements. Not saying that it's no.
00:12:29
Speaker
okay cool so let's talk a little bit about your work on instagram because i want to know why you've chosen to to do this kind of thing because i know a lot of people who i've i've talked to and some of my friends that watch my youtube videos and stuff they they're quite astonished that someone would want people to know about their life
00:12:56
Speaker
like that. So I just want to know what drives you to do it and what you hope to do with it in the future.
00:13:02
Speaker
That kind of begins with my diagnosis. When I was diagnosed, I was told that my symptoms were pretty severe. My traits were very intense in a lot of areas. And the psychiatrist was really shocked because she wanted to kind of know how I had developed so many coping skills without support, given the severity of a lot of my experiences.
00:13:30
Speaker
And that kind of stuck with me. And I thought a lot about, how do I know to do this? Or how did I figure out to do that when I was upset or when I was in pain or when I was overstimulated? And I didn't know any autistic people in real life at the time. So I wanted to connect with autistic people, but I also wanted to talk to them and share with them just the things I did in daily life, just in case it could help someone.
00:13:59
Speaker
And so I actually opened up my Instagram just with that in mind. I just thought, what if I could help someone? What if they don't realize you could just stand on one leg while brushing your teeth and that would make your hip strength stronger and alleviate Ehlers-Danlos syndrome? Like, what if they didn't know that? And if I told them that and it completely changed their lives, you know, random things like that. And so I started my Instagram and I started making aspie tips.
00:14:26
Speaker
which I now call Auditips, which were just little ideas of things that I did throughout the day. And it really developed and grew. I would get messages from people asking me for tips on certain things.
00:14:41
Speaker
And I realized, wow, I could help support people based on their needs more than just what I am already doing. Because I am kind of a verbal processor, and it's pretty easy for me to put into words thoughts and ideas. So I don't think that it's necessarily that I'm saying things that other autistic people aren't doing already.
00:15:07
Speaker
I think it's that I just have this knack for writing it out. And so I really enjoy sharing these tips, some of them by request, some of them by things that I live through in my everyday. And I kind of feel like it's evolved into an advice column. My mission is really just to bring autistic people to support each other, giving autistic people advice for how to navigate everyday life. But that advice is from autistic people.
00:15:35
Speaker
instead of having neurotypical people tell us how to exist. So that's kind of my mission at this point. So be the understanding person that knows what it's like rather than sort of like a medical professional, telling you about all the ways that you can cope with symptoms, quotation marks. Yes.
00:16:02
Speaker
Yeah, I get that. So am I right in thinking that your drive was that you are helping people and that makes you happy? Yes, I'm a helper by nature, I think. So that was the drive I just wanted to reach out to and help people.
Lauren's Mission and Online Platform
00:16:20
Speaker
and your mission is by your standards, not complete, but you've reached what you want to do with it. Or is there something beyond that that you'd want to do with this kind of stuff?
00:16:37
Speaker
Right now, I'm at a pretty comfortable rhythm in how the audio tips are crafted and given out, but I do want to grow things to a bigger level. I would really, really like to go to colleges someday and speak with college students and disability centers to give them motivation and
00:17:02
Speaker
to just be someone that they can see maybe a mirror through. I would love to speak with, I want to continue to speak with other autistic people. I have a lot of people who ask me if I want to make my mission, my goal to teach neurotypical people about autism. And while I think that that's something that naturally happens through my platform, my goal is always to just continue to reach other autistic people. That is my main goal.
00:17:30
Speaker
And I think, I feel like already from, you know, looking at the posts that you make and they're all very, very much, you know, just scripted and detailed and it looks like you put a lot of time into it. A lot of effort into it. It is really great to see that kind of thing and it's nice to hear that you are, you know, people are messaging you and you're applying and you're giving them personal advice because that is,
00:18:00
Speaker
to a lot of people. It may seem, you know, for example, when I get messages and people ask me things, it's like they don't expect you to reply to them because you're like, oh, you're just a, you know, like Instagram influencer. But yeah, it's, I can imagine
00:18:20
Speaker
sometimes I think about it and I think about it, oh, imagine if I messaged someone who was doing something like this when I was younger and asked for tips, or if I just got into the autism, I was gonna say autism realm, but that sounds a bit pretentious. But yeah, it must be really great for them. And I'm really glad that you are helping them in that way. It's a really good thing to do.
00:18:47
Speaker
So let's get into the meat of it. So we've actually talked a little bit, quite a lot about schools and past experiences already. And do you want to give us some examples of the main struggles that you had at school in terms of friendships, social skills, going out and doing social activities and all that?
00:19:15
Speaker
Definitely. So ironically in school, I always thought that I was an extrovert, mainly because my sister and brother are extreme introverts and very shy. And so because I like to help people,
00:19:34
Speaker
I would always pretend to be extroverted to try to get especially my sister into friend groups and invited to things and that was a lot of masking. As a result though since I was trying to be extroverted when I really wasn't
00:19:49
Speaker
I would often just make a fool of myself. I would say things just to get a rise out of people, kind of class clown a little bit. I would say a lot of inappropriate things. I would upset people who were my friends so much that they would stop being my friends. I didn't know how to fix it because I didn't know how to be myself.
00:20:19
Speaker
And I would also get so burnt out from pretending to be something I wasn't all day at school that I would come home and have a meltdown almost every single day and start crying and screaming. So there was a lot of emotion involved for me in high school, especially around that. By the time I reached college undergrad, I had figured out that I was really an introvert. And my family, while it took them ages to believe it,
00:20:47
Speaker
I finally realized that too. I stopped trying to push myself to be this class clown, this funny person, but I still wanted to have friends and belong to a social circle. I continued though to make social mistakes, say the things that other people were thinking, but not saying.
00:21:10
Speaker
I just didn't realize that they were thinking it and not saying it. I thought I was the only one who could see things. So I would be like, well, I have to say these things out loud and put her people. I'll give you one example that that might be a little funny. So as in my first semester, as in my first semester of college and.
00:21:29
Speaker
We had taken a midterm exam and I had done very well in it. This isn't a story about me doing well in school, but it's involved. I had done very well on the exam and I came back, like I think I got like a 97 or something like that. So I came back to class the next day and my professor says, so we didn't do so well in the midterm everyone. And I'm sitting there like, oh, but I did well, thinking to myself,
00:21:58
Speaker
How could other people not have done as well as me just complete and total Lee stuck inside my own self in my brain and kind of thinking everyone experienced what I experienced and He said so I was I was thinking about you know Waiting the grade and giving everyone an additional 10 points to kind of you know, even out the field What do you all think of that?
00:22:22
Speaker
So I took his question literally, what do you think of that? And I thought, oh, well, I'll share what I think about that. So I raised my hand and I said, I think that it might be a little unfair for those of us who did well on the exam. Yeah, I would say just about everyone in that class.
00:22:39
Speaker
decided that i would never be their friend after that because i tried to ruin their grades getting weighted but i just didn't realize like i actually had no idea that anybody was mad at me after that i didn't realize that i was completely clueless so that's an example of speaking your minds like it's a good point and it sort of takes away from the effort that you put into your work
00:23:06
Speaker
But maybe not talk about it in front of class. And now I look back and I think I would honestly, I want all of their grades to be weighted. Like I look back, I just was so inexperienced.
00:23:20
Speaker
I have to usually experience something to have empathy towards it. And yeah, I feel like at least immediate empathy without me focusing and focusing and focusing. And now I look back and I see, of course, everybody's grazing to be weighted. I've been glad many times in my life when my grade has been weighted. I just couldn't see it. And it definitely impaired a lot of my socializing during that time.
00:23:45
Speaker
I bet. But thank you for sharing that. I definitely have a lot of experiences that are similar to that where I'm sort of...
00:23:54
Speaker
You sort of stay in your own head for most of the time, especially at school, because it's quite a stressful environment. So you always sort of stay in your own line and you don't really think about much at the time. And it usually takes me about a day or two just to, if I've done something wrong and I can see that I've done something wrong, I need to go and monologue on my own, do some writing.
00:24:21
Speaker
and think it over and then I can I usually come back with a lot of empathy for it but it's I think there is like a delay you kind of have to use your logical brain to figure it out and try and think of it from other people's it's like an active process you need it needs to have intention behind it for you to understand it
00:24:42
Speaker
I do agree with that. I think many times I just have to sit and really put myself in their shoes. And then it's like you said, I have almost at that point like too much empathy. But in the moment, it can just take me a second to grasp it. Yeah.
00:25:02
Speaker
Well, it's nice that I've never actually heard anybody on the spectrum talk about this before, which is nice because I feel the same way as well and sometimes it can be a bit hard. It's hard because you go away from it and you're thinking, what did I do wrong? And sure, from an objective standpoint, sure.
00:25:26
Speaker
socializing and people is a lot to do with using emotions as well as what's happened and logic and sometimes it takes a bit of time to like integrate it together yeah completely in terms of like looking back what sort of improvements i know it might i mean obviously like i'm guessing that you made a lot of improvements um just from
00:25:54
Speaker
our conversation so far and just from looking at your social media and stuff.
Social Skills and Authenticity
00:25:58
Speaker
But what specific things do you think really helped you develop your social skills better?
00:26:06
Speaker
I think one of the first things that I started to do that has really helped me is to stop mimicking people. I used to say to myself, I can be anything anybody wants. And I thought that it was a positive trait.
00:26:25
Speaker
But it was really impairing my ability to make real connections with people, to make friends, because there's only so long that you can pretend to be something that you're not. And I thought it was honestly something that everybody did to make friends. But now I don't do that. I tried to be my authentic self within reason. I mean, I'm not
00:26:48
Speaker
There's certain things I'm just not going to do in certain circles, but that has more to do with navigating daily life and staying safe. But I think one of the first things that I started to do is to take off that mask to always be my authentic self as much as possible. And then I end up making friends with people who like me for me.
00:27:07
Speaker
Yeah, and things that you have in common and people that share your values and stuff. It's nice. I do sort of feel like I do generally have a certain mask when I meet new people. Especially if people don't really understand autism or they have no experience talking or interacting with an autistic person, then I'm likely to
00:27:38
Speaker
you know, sort of up my little neurotypical cues just to sort of ease them into it, usually. That's usually what I do. But once they get to know me, then they realize, oh yeah, this guy is, yeah, he's a bit weird. In a good way, of course. Wouldn't have it any other way.
00:27:55
Speaker
And I feel like the older I get, you know, the more people are actually accepting of, Oh, there's that quirky person. And they kind of feel like this is the fun, quirky person that like totally makes things a little, this conversation different or this atmosphere more interesting. Cause we're so used to the same thing day by day by day. So when you throw some quirkiness in there, everybody has a little bit of fun.
00:28:23
Speaker
But to think back to your original question of changes that I've made in order to experience, I guess, a better life for myself, I think the second thing that I changed that really made a huge difference was I started to become vastly more aware of my sensory
00:28:45
Speaker
state and when I'm overstimulated and when I'm not.
Managing Sensory Stimulation
00:28:50
Speaker
So I'm just more aware of walking into a space and realizing that light is too garish and making a sound. I cannot sit here. I cannot work here.
00:29:02
Speaker
And just being aware of those things in my day to day, being aware of sounds that are hurting my head, being aware of when conversations are setting me off, and being able to exit that situation as quickly as possible. It has done wonders for me in terms of being able to just get through a regular 24 hours and start the day and end the day on a good foot.
00:29:31
Speaker
It's nice to hear that you are making improvements like that because I think that's one of the things that I... It's one of the last things that I sort of tried to focus on and try and fix. I always thought, yeah, I know I am a bit sensory overloaded and all that.
00:29:51
Speaker
and it does affect me but i never quite realised to the extent that it did affect me until i started trying things to try and help or giving myself some quiet time in like social events and stuff
00:30:08
Speaker
You know, cause I sort of, when I went, when I'd go to like some social event, like a party or a go out of some friends or something, then I would always stick around to the end of it. And then either the same night when I get home or the day after, I would just, I would be completely drained and very in a very sort of sensitive emotional state.
00:30:36
Speaker
and it's really hard to cope with and I only you know really recently sort of realized that sensory aspects and being around people and all of that is quite important even just like going to the library and um a library at uni and just sitting near a light that's a little bit too bright
00:31:01
Speaker
I'm trying not to rhyme. It just comes out my mouth. So you're going to rely just a little bit. Nice little lyric for anybody. Any DJs out there want to make a little mix? What am I talking about? Okay, right. So the topic of this podcast is, as I've said, social stuff, extroverted things.
Exploring Extroverted Activities
00:31:32
Speaker
What do we mean by extroverted activities? What do you consider to be an extroverted activity?
00:31:40
Speaker
I consider any time when I'm not by myself or with my best friend to be an extroverted activity, to be honest. So anytime I'm meeting up with a friend for coffee, perhaps I'm going to a concert, perhaps I'm going to a convention, just getting dinner with friends, all of those things, I consider to be extroverted activities.
00:32:11
Speaker
Anything that sort of drains your social battery to an extent. Yes. So anything that involves me giving of myself in order to enjoy time spent with others is an extroverted activity. That's a good definition. I like that. When I think of extroverted activities, those things sort of appear in my mind as well.
00:32:36
Speaker
But there's also things that I would consider to be extremely social extroverted behaviour, like going to a concert or going to a nightclub or travelling for like a weekend or something like that, something that's either
00:32:58
Speaker
long-term, relatively long-term, or very intense. Those type of things spring to my mind as well. But do you have any experience with those types of environments? Oh yes. I really enjoy a lot of extroverted activities.
00:33:24
Speaker
because I have special interests in things that involve music and fashion. And so in order really for fashion and music to be like fully experienced, it often includes extraversion.
00:33:45
Speaker
I'm fortunate too that if it involves my special interest, when it's an extroverted activity, it's a little bit less draining than when it doesn't involve my special interest. So for example, if I'm going to go out to dinner with friends, if I go to a restaurant that I know plays my favorite music,
00:34:04
Speaker
I'll enjoy myself a lot more than if I went to a restaurant that played music I didn't know. So there are just ways of kind of navigating extroversion by using my special interest to get me through it, to get me to have more fun and ease up. I really enjoy going to certain kinds of like, I guess, anime, Japanese pop culture conventions is what people would call them.
00:34:30
Speaker
Well, like Comic-Con. Not the same thing, actually. So Comic-Con is more like the Marvel, Doctor Who, that side of the world. Japanese pop culture conventions have more to do with anime, manga, Japanese video games and music.
00:34:50
Speaker
and I'm obsessed with a lot of Japanese music so I love to go to these conventions and they last for like four days and just hang out in groups of large amounts of people and listen to music and
00:35:08
Speaker
There's usually raves and just like have a great time. It's very, very extroverted. But because it involves my special interests, I can navigate it. That isn't to say that I'm not going to be completely burned out afterwards. So just figuring out how to work through all that.
00:35:26
Speaker
I suppose having something related to your special interest gives you a lot to talk about and a bit more of a bit more of like a template or a frame framework to work within because if you know that you go into somewhere where people like similar stuff to you then it's a bit easier to know what to talk about and they're sort of jargon to use and what kind of
00:35:51
Speaker
tone to strike because I very much just gonna say I very much like Japanese culture and stuff. I was massively into it when I was younger.
00:36:01
Speaker
I went for like a school trip to Japan one time. And yeah, but we were outside quite a lot and we were doing a lot of stuff in the city. And because it was something that I was interested in, you know, looking at it now, you know, it was particularly stressful. And I think if I was to go to London, which has nothing to do with anything that I like,
00:36:28
Speaker
then I don't think I'd be able to cope as well. But because it was Japan, it was cool Japan, you know, quirky Japan. I was like, yes, I like it a lot. It sort of helped a little bit, I suppose. But yeah, it's cool. Have you ever been to Japan? I have not. And it's it's kind of ridiculous because I've been in South Korea for like two or three months, but I never made it to Japan.
00:36:54
Speaker
What was South Korea like? Oh, it was wonderful. There was definitely a lot of music playing from storefronts in the streets, but it was great. And I had a nice time there. I feel like I could do an entire.
00:37:09
Speaker
travel vlog about that so let's just say if you're interested in visiting south korea go for it that sounds cool i would like to see that so if you ever if you ever fancy making a yeah south korean blog i would definitely be up for watching those so in in terms of like extroverted things uh i personally like
00:37:31
Speaker
In terms of going out and parties and things like that, I've found that I always get on best. I always have much more of a good time if I am either familiar with the place or the people. So I am very happy to go out to this club in Manchester called Satan's Hollow that play heavy metal and alternative music. Nice.
00:37:58
Speaker
because I know that it's music that I like and I can always go with my mate who likes that kind of music as well and I also know that it's not incredibly busy because it's quite a relatively small place and yeah I find that you know sort of even going to somewhere that
00:38:19
Speaker
Even if someone else did play heavy metal music and stuff, it wouldn't be the same because I've been to this club so many times and I'm used to it and I know exactly what to expect, I know what it smells like, I know what the lights are like, I know what the environment's like.
00:38:39
Speaker
And it always makes it, it makes it more of a good night out for me. Um, as opposed to going to some, you know, bog standard, like house club night or something, which, um, I find not particularly enjoyable. Sorry, go on.
00:38:58
Speaker
Oh, no, no. I mean, I was just going to say I completely relate. Do you have you experienced a lot of nightlife in your uni uni days? I'm just saying I didn't go out that much. Like I'm not saying that I was a massive session or anything. I was I probably went out about five or six times in my second year, which is not a lot. Yeah. Have you had an experience with that?
00:39:27
Speaker
Yes, so actually, during my undergrad, I did go out a lot. But what was odd was my school had a party schedule, which is very strange. But on Wednesday, there was a party, and on Thursdays, there was this party. And on Fridays, it was very scheduled out. It was mapped out, and they had themed parties that you would be expecting every month. And so you could really prepare. You knew the location of it.
00:39:55
Speaker
Um, you could really prepare for it. So I think that actually contributed to things. Oh, they had some great ones. Halloween events.
00:40:06
Speaker
Oh yes, there was a trick or drink. I remember that one. So I did enjoy that a lot in college. And I agree that today, even now, I like to go out, you know, I like to go get a drink with friends or go out for dinner. And I love it when I can go to a place that I already know, that I'm already familiar with. I can socialize with
00:40:30
Speaker
a ton of people at one time if I'm in a familiar spot. And if I am going to a new spot, I always do my research. I look up the menu and pick what I'm going to eat beforehand. I look at photos on Google Maps of exactly what it looks like outside and inside. I look up how busy it's going to be at the time that I go. So I can walk in armed with as much information as possible. That way, when the outliers occur, my head's not already reeling.
00:40:59
Speaker
I can handle it better. I think the other side to the familiar environment is familiar people as well. I'm not the type of person that would be able to just
00:41:13
Speaker
go out with someone that I don't know. I did do it when I was in first year, as she said, in undergrad and stuff in first year. But that was just because I didn't know anybody. And if I'm going to someone new, if I'm going to someone new or somewhere that I don't particularly have an interest in,
00:41:35
Speaker
I always need to have a good friend, like a very close friend to sort of anchor me a little bit or just give me some sort of support or if I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, someone that I can go outside with and just chat with and cool off.
00:41:55
Speaker
I think having familiar people around you can sometimes help with new unfamiliar environments. But us, you know, vice versa. I could probably make more friends if I went to Satan's Hollow than if I went to a house rave with some people that I knew. It's obviously like, in terms of restaurants and pubs and more sort of
00:42:25
Speaker
tame nights, then I'm pretty good with that stuff. I very much like
00:42:35
Speaker
going to places that I know again, I'll always say, you know, if my friends were like, oh, you want to go out and get a meal somewhere, I'll always say like, yep, let's go to this exact same place that we've been to about 10 times. That sounds good. And I'll buy the same exact thing and eat it and I'll get the same drink and I'll drink it in the same order that I have every single time I go.
Planning and Navigating Social Spaces
00:42:58
Speaker
And it's going to be perfect. It's going to be a perfect time.
00:43:02
Speaker
Yeah, because it's like, I know I enjoy this, so I'm going to do it. But yeah, I suppose now and again, I do get a bit of a...
00:43:14
Speaker
instinctual drive to do something new. And although it's not as often as me wanting to stick to my little weird ritual, it's, yeah, I can still do it. It's just, I need to sort of plan. I need to make sure that I have rest the day before and I'm not talking to too many people the day before and stuff. And yes, I like to do extroverted things.
00:43:41
Speaker
I can really relate to needing to look at your schedule and kind of mapping out how I can emotionally handle these extra rooted things. So one example of which is if I go to a convention, I always take off work the next day. So that way I can just have a full day of recharging. It's just not possible for me to do a convention and go to work the next day. I mean, and I'm, I don't mean that in like a lighthearted sense, like, Oh, I'll be so burnout. It'll be so hard.
00:44:08
Speaker
I literally don't think I could function at work. I would not be able to perform my duties. I think also there's this great tool of just looking at your schedule and seeing how many extroverted activities you have in a row and then looking at the following day and marking that on your calendar as a potential day for a meltdown or a potential day for high levels of overstimulation.
00:44:37
Speaker
just so that way it's on your calendar, look out for this day, be prepared this day. I actually learned that from another Asper girl. Her name's Alice. She's the good bunny club. But as I want to give her a little bit of credit for that, that little tip, but it was a very good bunny club, the good bunny club. She's a bunny club. Is that the that's her stuff?
00:45:03
Speaker
Well, she's an artist. She does have an Instagram, but she does a lot of art that revolves around kind of being this neurodivergent person in a neurotypical world. Hmm. Very interesting. That sounds good. I would definitely give them a follow as well and encourage anybody else who's listening to drop them a cheeky follow too and see what it's about.
00:45:28
Speaker
So I do think that's a really important thing and I think it is always good to just, even if you don't want to schedule it, just have an awareness of how much you're doing and sort of look back into your past and realize times that you have sort of had a little bit of a meltdown or you've been so drained that you just can't do anything.
00:45:53
Speaker
and try and think of things that led up to that and it's usually there usually are things that lead up to that and that's for me it was just both going to work and having social events as well around that and not giving me myself enough time to chill out and
00:46:14
Speaker
relax on my own and do better writing and just mull about like a lazy boy. It's good, it's healthy. And I do think there's kind of this phenomenon. I mean, a lot of autistic people, we like to do the same thing over and over again. And so if we get into a rhythm of overextending ourselves and doing extroverted activities over and over and over again,
00:46:42
Speaker
We might try to do that every single day until we burn out. Like you have to almost break it. Sort of a routine. Yeah. So you get in a routine that you don't know what you're doing and that you're always meeting up with people every day.
00:46:58
Speaker
yes that's happened to me before yeah it's horrible isn't it because it's like how do i cope how do i cope with this but i can't stop doing it because i feel compelled to because it's part of my routine so it's um i became a very large sort of party extroverted outgoing person for about a month or two after after uni just stayed stayed in manchester and just
00:47:25
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't give myself enough break and when it when I wasn't when I was doing things that were introverted and sort of on my own I felt weird because usually it's relaxing and it's nice but I was like I don't usually do this I need to I need to go and do something with people and talk to people but it also stresses me out So how am I supposed to do this? I don't know
00:47:49
Speaker
It's not a good place to get yourself into for anybody listening not a good idea I'm glad that you share that experience as well It seems like the more that I do these podcasts the more that I realized that you know people do have similar experiences And it's nice to hear it's good to hear Same to you
00:48:11
Speaker
So there is sort of a stereotype around autism, being the quiet person there, trying to avoid social situations all the time, not being able to be social, not doing anything that's too out of the way or too extroverted.
00:48:35
Speaker
Why is it that we sort of tilt towards this in the eyes of other people, but also just in general? I think it has to do with neurotypical people more than it has to do with autistic people, to be honest. I think it has to do with the fact that autistic people don't feel welcome, that we've been penalized for social mistakes that we've made. And so when you already have
00:49:04
Speaker
the situation where socializing is draining. It's taking out the introverted problem, I guess, but I don't really think it's too much of a problem, but where you're giving of yourself and then the end result of that is to be told that you did it wrong. You got pushed away more.
00:49:24
Speaker
Yeah. Why would a person willingly continue trying to give of themselves just because other people tell them, well, you should do that. You should go out and make friends. You should go out and try new things. When in their experience, it's something that takes away from feeling good inside and from feeling good outside. So I think that contributes to it a lot. And the more that an autistic person can find a safe space to be themselves in,
00:49:52
Speaker
I think we'd find more autistic people socializing. For example, at conventions, they're often very inviting places for the quirky ones. I've actually gone to autism panels at conventions, which was fabulous. Very cool.
00:50:17
Speaker
They were great. It was just an environment where people could share and ask questions and talk about their experiences being autistic. And the moderator was excellent because they knew that a lot of autistic people were going to just raise their hand and be like, hi, everyone. I have a question. So she gave out raffle tickets. Anytime you raise your hand to ask a question, you got a raffle ticket.
00:50:42
Speaker
for this anime that was in a lot of people's special interests present wasn't actually I don't really watch anime but it was I was just thinking that's very clever good job so there'd be a lot of talking and it was great that's awesome so yeah I I do I do definitely think that there is a little bit of a stereotype and I I agree like wholeheartedly that
00:51:08
Speaker
If we were more integrated and more accepted at a young age and also going through teenagehood, which is very important, then from two sides as well, from one, because we do a lot of work to try and fit in, whereas neurotypical people don't do a lot of work to help us fit in.
00:51:34
Speaker
not not i don't think it's in any case most cases i don't think it's out of spite i just don't think that they understand and they have they're a bit not not willfully ignorant
00:51:47
Speaker
I think to some extent a lot of the problems that we have socially revolve around our experience at school, around neurotypical people and it can be really heartbreaking and soul destroying and it can lead to a lot of mental health difficulties, you know, of all the bullying and isolation and alienation.
00:52:12
Speaker
And that can follow you for the rest of your life and some people don't get out of that and they don't sort of go through changes because they just feel so disheartened and they have such negative experiences around people that they just find it really difficult.
00:52:29
Speaker
and i do i do think in general that there is some neurological biological influence that makes us a little bit more closed off but i think if more was done about that at a young age
00:52:45
Speaker
it wouldn't be as much of a carrying on thing. We wouldn't be so in our heads and introverted when we're older. I think that there are definitely factors from both sides, but I think if we were to tackle the social issue at hand, it would make a lot of difference. Or at least just give people the option to socialize if they want to, which is the most important thing, I think.
00:53:14
Speaker
Yeah, just having the opportunity to be yourself and to talk with people, I think is an amazing gift that many neurotypical people might take for granted. Yeah, autistic friends are awesome. Not trying to take my own trumpet, but...
00:53:33
Speaker
You know they'll tell you how it is, they'll tell you what you mean to them in verbal language rather than assumed language or body language or whatever strange ways you guys communicate with.
00:53:48
Speaker
It's not really a good standpoint to take, I'm sorry about that guys. But I do think that artists, if people make really good friends, they're very, from my experience, and it is a bit of a general statement as with anything that we talk about.
00:54:08
Speaker
Yeah, some of the best people that I know are autistic and they want the opportunity to go to things but not necessarily feel obliged to go to things and for people to understand that sometimes they won't go to something because they're too overwhelmed or they're too socially drained and not feel like that's going to impact the other person's opinion of them, make them feel like they're not putting as much into their friendship or something.
00:54:38
Speaker
Opportunity, it's a great thing and understanding, having a bit of compassion and empathy can go a long way. If you're a neurotypical and you're listening to this, what specific things do you find hard about extroverted things?
Challenges with Conversations and Sensory Overload
00:54:57
Speaker
Do you have any specific coping mechanisms that you use
00:55:02
Speaker
So a difficult thing for me is to navigate a conversation with multiple people talking at the same time. That's very hard, especially then too if there's background conversation. When there's conversations going on in the background, I tend to hear them louder than the conversation in the foreground. And then if you add music onto that,
00:55:22
Speaker
That's going to trump everything. A lot of my friends know me as the person who will suddenly be like, I love this song. And everyone's like, what are you talking about? Nobody can hear the music, but I know we're talking to people.
00:55:36
Speaker
No, exactly. So that's a big one and it will drain me very quickly. So I really do just like say, hey guys, I'm going to go to the bathroom or hey, I need a break. I'll be right back.
00:55:56
Speaker
Yeah, the haven. But I sometimes get sad because sometimes I hear that the bathroom as like a place to go is like a sad thing. Like I'm hiding in the bathroom. But to me, I'm like, I'm not hiding in the bathroom. I am enjoying this bathroom. Like this is like nice. Like I just get to be here, breathe, maybe play a little game on my phone. Like this is me time. And and then I can go back and try again. But I've
00:56:22
Speaker
become pretty unapologetic about that, about just walking away. And I think, well, there's a whole group of them. Are they really going to be offended because one person walked away for 10 minutes? No, like they can get over it. So that's a big thing that I do when I'm faced with a situation like that. And I think another thing that I have to really work with when I'm in an extroverted activity
00:56:48
Speaker
is paying attention to lighting. And I'm not talking about fluorescent lighting. I'm talking about flashing lights and things like that. So I'm more of a sensory seeker than sensory avoidant, although I do have sensory things that I have to avoid in order to be my best self. But I love flashing lights a lot.
00:57:13
Speaker
And I won't even notice that I'm overstimulated until it's a little bit too late. So when I'm in situations like that, I intentionally
00:57:25
Speaker
I have to tell myself to stop looking at the flashing light, to close my eyes, to walk outside for a moment and just take those timed breaks. I think a lot of it does have to do with taking breaks in the end of the day. If I'm going to be extroverted, I'm not going to be extroverted. If I'm going to do an extroverted activity, I have to honor myself and not deny who I am. And then I'll just have a better time at the end.
00:57:51
Speaker
I think in terms of flashing lights, I completely get where you come from. I find them absolutely captivating. So I went to this event only recently, just last week. I went to see this band called Caravan Palace, which is like an electro swing band. Do you know anything about electro swing? I know it's a bit niche.
00:58:13
Speaker
I don't know that phrase, but I bet you if you played the kind of music for me, I'd be like, Oh yeah, I didn't know this was called electro swing. Cause I do like a lot of electronic music. A good song to listen to. If you want to get into electro swing is lone digger, lone digger by caravan palace. It's a good one. Okay. Very popular one. Um, I have to check it out. What is the saying? Yeah. Flashing lights. Absolutely love them.
00:58:40
Speaker
it's um i found that i'm i'm more sensory avoidant when it comes to anything sensory that is prolonged so if it's a very bright light that's staying on then i can't cope with it but if it's a bright light that's moving about a bright light that's flashing on and off
00:59:00
Speaker
I like it more and I found that to be the case in a lot of things. Short bursts of interaction, short bursts of touch, anything like that.
00:59:15
Speaker
is sensory. I like strong bursts of something and then nothing rather than constant medium or low level amount of sensory stimulation. I don't know why. I think I very much like being overstimulated but I don't want to be overstimulated all the time if you know what I mean. Yeah, definitely. Do you have like anything that you use at home like in terms of like lights or anything or
00:59:45
Speaker
sensory things that you use just to get that sensory seeking stuff. I definitely like to play loud music to give me like that burst. I'd stim dance a lot. So just like put on a song or two and just bam, go at it. And then I'm like, okay, that was good. Yeah. Just sit down. You would love electro swing then.
01:00:13
Speaker
so very much a dance type of music so yeah coping mechanisms i think the main thing for me as is for you taking breaks giving yourself a break recognizing that you need to you know you need some time alone just to recharge when you're
01:00:34
Speaker
doing something like that because the more intense it is and the more active it is the harder it is um on your your brain and on your mental capacity and you don't want to like tip over i think and yeah toilet it's always a safe haven for autistics from my experience i've i've gathered that every you know every single person that's come onto my podcast has always said that they cope with things by finding a bathroom
01:01:04
Speaker
It's just like, it's nice, isn't it? It's just like a little cozy place and you can lock yourself in and it's very small and you can put your headphones on and nobody know that you've got your headphones on and you can just kind of sit there and chill out and not have any social engagement. It's very nice for me. Best place to go in any sort of social occasion.
01:01:30
Speaker
Maybe not clubs, like some clubs, because some of those are a bit mank. Yeah, not great. But then if that's not available outside somewhere in a corner, usually a good spot. So what are the benefits of being more extroverted? Because I know we're talking a lot about how to do it and how to cope with it, but why do we need to do it? Or why should we try to do at least some?
Benefits and Tips for Extroverted Activities
01:01:57
Speaker
I think it's good to have connections with other people and not to feel isolated all the time. So I think being extroverted gives us human connection that many, many people crave. I think also it gives us opportunity to enjoy the things that we like in new ways.
01:02:22
Speaker
and to just enrich our life experiences. Maybe that sounds like a lot, but I think that going out and trying something new that's related to something that we love just expands our love for the things that we have.
01:02:41
Speaker
So I think connection and enrichment are some of the greatest things about being extroverted or doing extroverted things. I think networking is also really important. It can get you far and you can get job opportunities, do better at your job by making those connections and also learn new things by meeting new people. So there are so many benefits to engaging with others.
01:03:11
Speaker
We just have to set ourselves up for success in order to get those benefits. For a lot of autistic people, I think we do in general try to do these things, but I think for some people it can be extremely daunting and some people just really don't know where to start.
01:03:35
Speaker
Like how do you start doing that? It's like you can't just show up at an event and not know anyone because you won't be able to cope with it because it's unfamiliar and there's unfamiliar people and some people just can't get over that and it's too anxiety provoking. How do you get around that?
01:03:55
Speaker
So definitely I trust my best friend and I love to try new things with her because she really helps me walk through those initial extremely awkward moments of starting an extroverted activity. My first convention I went to, I went with her.
01:04:14
Speaker
And for the first hour, we honestly just walked to each place on the map of the convention, or I just sat and stared for an hour. And she sat with me. If I'd been alone, I would have been terrified. But because she was there, I knew that if something went wrong, it would be okay in the end. So I think having that safe person, yeah, is so helpful.
01:04:43
Speaker
I think, yeah, having sort of like a person as an anchor or a person to be around you so that you don't feel isolated or weird or paranoid is quite good. It's quite a good thing to have. I think also a good thing to sort of stress an important thing is that
01:05:10
Speaker
events like social events, no matter where you start from, are always going to be somewhat stressful.
01:05:18
Speaker
And you have to, the process of doing those things is less about, oh, it's gonna feel easier. It's more about, oh, I know exactly how it's gonna feel. And I know exactly what I have to do. For me, like the first hour of doing anything, particularly largely extroverted,
01:05:42
Speaker
is always very anxiety provoking and hard, especially if I've been on my own or I've been in a very solid, not introverted routine for a long time.
01:05:54
Speaker
And it is difficult, and I have done a lot of social things. I've been traveling for like two months. I've been with my mate constantly for about two months, which although he's a really, really good friend, it can be draining being around someone all the time. But it's still something that you can do.
01:06:16
Speaker
it's not something that I don't recommend doing that like just to start off but it is something to have in mind that even if you know we're talking about certain things that we've done and going out and stuff it doesn't mean that we're different and we find it easier it's just that we've we know what to expect a little bit more and we know how to deal with it
01:06:41
Speaker
Would you say that that would be the case? What is your initial... If you're just having a bit of an introverted week or two weeks or a month for all that and then jumping into something a bit more extroverted, how do you feel?
01:07:00
Speaker
I tend to tell myself, this will be hard because it's the first time. But after this first time, I will now feel comfortable going to that restaurant again. Or I'll feel comfortable going to that coffee shop again or that convention again or that music venue again. The first time, it's so hard because everything's new. But then I can become a master of that new thing and it becomes familiar.
01:07:33
Speaker
I also want to say that if someone doesn't have a close friend that they can bring to these new experiences, bringing something that gives an anchor of some kind can be so helpful. So taking your dog, people love to go up and pet dogs, you know, so that helps. And that can be a starting point, a conversation point. Taking a camera to take photos, that gives you an anchor, a purpose to be in that new place.
01:07:52
Speaker
So I think that's comforting for me.
01:08:01
Speaker
Or like I keep saying convention convention convention but cause playing it helps you to meet other people who are interested in that same. Fandom that your cause playing from so bringing an anchor of some kind of conversation starter of some kind can take off some of that pressure of how do I even start talking.
01:08:21
Speaker
Yeah, and I think if people want to do those sort of extreme extroverted things, it is important to build up some friendships with other people first. I think one of the things that I've touched on in one of my videos is
01:08:43
Speaker
going somewhere that you know, like a framework too. I think we talked about this as well, but having a bit of a framework and knowing what you should talk about, it's unimaginably helpful. If you...
01:08:58
Speaker
hate small talk, which I know a lot of us do. And if you struggle to think of new topics, go to somewhere where you know people are going to like the same thing as you do. So you can just monologue away and you can obviously like have a conversation, not just speak at them, but at least you know sort of an idea of what you're supposed to be talking about or something that you can talk about.
01:09:23
Speaker
The worst thing is going somewhere that you have nothing in common with anybody because you've just decided, I'm going to go to a house party just off the bat. I've got no friends yet. I'm just going to go to a house party. That's a great way. No. No way that you're going to have a mixed bag of people with different ideas and values and personalities. It's not a good way to navigate yourself, but I'm not saying that you would do.
01:09:50
Speaker
But if you were thinking about it, don't do it. It's not a good idea. Cool. So I think that's pretty much all I wanted to talk about in terms of like questions.
01:10:05
Speaker
So we go over some of the main things that you want people to take away, like what things that immediately or gradually pop into your head that you want people to understand from this podcast.
01:10:22
Speaker
I could say that I hope that autistic people can feel empowered to do extroverted activities, but at the same time, don't try to do extroverted activities because you feel like other people are telling you to do them. I think it's important for us to seek out the extroverted activities that genuinely interest us.
01:10:43
Speaker
and move forward from there. I think that's the biggest takeaway. Like don't just do it because I want to make friends, you know, but go to the things that have actual meaning and then we can grow from there. And I'd say the other big thing is, is that mindset of trying something new is only leading to having something else be familiar.
01:11:09
Speaker
that the first time is the hardest time. And from then on, you now have a new thing that you can go to every time and order the same thing and bring people to. And I think that those are the main takeaways that I hope autistic people can enjoy hearing about, can move forward with.
01:11:33
Speaker
That's great. I think you've been the quickest person to bring up things to mind. Have you made a list? Have you made a little note on what you wanted to say? No. Just off the top of your head. Just that verbal processing. Social skills on point. Social skills on point. Very good.
Autism as an Answer and Liberator
01:11:53
Speaker
So yeah, last question, which is something that I ask every single person that comes onto this podcast, what does autism mean to you?
01:12:00
Speaker
Autism to me, two things to me. It is the answer and autism is also my liberator. So autism spectrum disorder for me was the answer to all of those lies that I told myself about being broken or being undeserving. It was the answer that told me that's not true. It's not just you. There's all these other people like you.
01:12:29
Speaker
All of us, we have so much to offer and to share. And I think that leads into autism being my liberator every time that I feel scared or feel uncomfortable.
01:12:46
Speaker
I have this beautiful thing that just tells me you're autistic and it's okay and it's going to make things different. Sometimes it's going to make things hard. Sometimes it's going to make things beautiful. And I choose to always think of autism as a positive thing in my life that leads me forward to being the best version of myself instead of denying who I am. Wow.
01:13:18
Speaker
I don't have any other words to say about that. That was amazing. You definitely touched the nerve of that. I haven't received an answer like that before. And honestly, every time I ask this, I have no idea what's gonna happen. Some people give very logical answers and factual answers, but that sounded very personal.
01:13:48
Speaker
Thank you for that. Okay, so that pretty much does it for the questions. Are there any links or social media things that you want to give out just in case anybody wants to follow up and see what you do and follow you and all that?
01:14:08
Speaker
I would always say, please check me out on my Instagram, Aspenel. I love receiving direct messages. If you ever just want to drop a line or ask for a tip, please feel free to, I always screenshot them and get to them eventually in my posts. And I just hope to meet other autistic people through Instagram. It's just been, I'm so grateful for my community there. So come join it.
01:14:36
Speaker
Definitely. And I will put those links down in the description along with anything else that you think of that you want to add later.
01:14:45
Speaker
Guys, thank you so much for listening to us talk about our special interest, autism. Hooray. It's been really great to talk to you and it's definitely been a little bit different than the usual podcasts that I do. So it's nice to have a bit of difference in it, you know.
01:15:09
Speaker
Some variety. Some variety, yeah. I was trying to think of the word. But yeah, this has been the 40 Auto Podcast. My name is Thomas Henley. I don't know if I said that at the start. I usually open with that. But yeah, I have a YouTube channel and stuff called Asperger's Grove. And you can find me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, all of those lovely social media sites.
01:15:38
Speaker
At. At. Asperger's talk. No, I was going to do my email again. No way. Ah, right. Asperger's Grove. That's my social medias. And if you want to find more out more things about the 40 or two podcast, more ways of viewing it, it's available on Spotify. I believe it's available on Apple podcasts now, now that I've changed some things around with the titles.
01:16:05
Speaker
And it's always available on YouTube as well. Listen to it on the podcasting services, because it helps me a lot. Thank you. If you have any ideas of what you want the podcast, next podcast to be on, or you just want to send something in for me to read out on the podcast, maybe a little question that I can add on to the end, the email is AspergisGrowth at gmail.com.
01:16:35
Speaker
Did it. Okay. Braille, thank you so much for coming on, Lauren. It's been a pleasure talking to you. And I hope that we can do some more work together in the future. Looking forward to it. Have you enjoyed your Fotioti experience?
01:16:54
Speaker
Oh yes, this has been really enjoyable. I feel like I have so many thoughts and more questions just teeming in my mind. And I just love being able to sit and talk about autism. Like who doesn't love that? Come on.
01:17:09
Speaker
And with that, everybody, I'm going to bid you a farewell. Again, thank you so much for listening to me and Lauren ramble about autism in a very cool way, just saying. And I'll hopefully see you guys in another episode, fumbling over my words. Lauren, say goodbyes. Goodbye.
01:17:33
Speaker
See you later. Stay strong. Keep being strange and weird because it's cool. And I'll see you in the next podcast. Bye.