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The Secret To Not Letting Sales Ruin Your Relationships - Brandon & Liz Holmes
58 Plays3 years ago
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Transcript
Introduction to the Solarpreneur Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to the Solarpreneur Podcast where we teach you to take your solar business to the next level.
00:00:08
Speaker
My name is Taylor Armstrong.
00:00:10
Speaker
I went from $50 in my bank account and struggling for groceries to closing 150 deals in the year and cracking the code on why sales reps fell.
00:00:19
Speaker
I teach you to avoid the mistakes I made and bring in the top solar dogs of the industry to let you in on the secrets of generating more leads, falling up like a pro and closing more deals.
00:00:31
Speaker
What is a solarpreneur you might ask?
00:00:33
Speaker
A solarpreneur is a new breed of solar pro that is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve mastery and you are about to become one.
Meet the Guests: Brandon and Liz Holmes
00:00:42
Speaker
Okay, what's going on solarpreneurs?
00:00:44
Speaker
I am stoked for this episode and this was just a treat here because I actually connected with Brandon here about 15 minutes ago probably.
00:00:53
Speaker
And we're just like, all right, let's do a podcast.
00:00:56
Speaker
Super high level.
00:00:57
Speaker
So we've got Brandon and an extra bonus here, Liz Holmes on the podcast with us here today.
00:01:03
Speaker
So appreciate you guys coming on.
00:01:05
Speaker
Love to be here, man.
00:01:05
Speaker
Appreciate you.
00:01:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:07
Speaker
Thanks.
00:01:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:08
Speaker
And they're sharing a microphone here.
00:01:10
Speaker
So we're going back and forth.
00:01:11
Speaker
Back and forth.
00:01:13
Speaker
So being here, OK.
00:01:14
Speaker
But no, so we're excited to have you
Brandon's Journey in Solar Sales
00:01:16
Speaker
guys on.
00:01:16
Speaker
And Brandon, he's the CEO of United Energy, right?
00:01:20
Speaker
OK, correct me if I'm saying anything wrong.
00:01:23
Speaker
But from what it sounds like, you're pretty much one of the OGs of door knocking, man.
00:01:29
Speaker
How long you been knocking doors now?
00:01:31
Speaker
Man, I've been knocking doors since 2004.
00:01:32
Speaker
Wow.
00:01:34
Speaker
And it's funny when you say OGs, people were here at SolarCon and people are coming up and be like, man, I've been here doing this so long.
00:01:41
Speaker
I was like 2015 or 2015 or, oh, I was in it 2013.
00:01:45
Speaker
Like, how long have you been doing it for?
00:01:47
Speaker
I'm like, 2004.
00:01:51
Speaker
Like, I started solar in 2010.
00:01:54
Speaker
Like, what?
00:01:55
Speaker
You're old.
00:01:55
Speaker
I'm like, I don't feel old.
00:01:57
Speaker
But, yeah, I guess I'm an OG at this point, right?
00:01:59
Speaker
I know, but some of these guys, that's like when they're born probably.
00:02:04
Speaker
That's right.
00:02:05
Speaker
I know, but no, I feel old too.
00:02:06
Speaker
I mean, I got in solar in 2016 and even that people are like, wow, you've been in solar that long?
00:02:11
Speaker
Because I feel like, I don't know, a year in solar is like 10 years in any other job, it seems like.
00:02:17
Speaker
It does feel that way.
00:02:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:19
Speaker
So, no, but it's super cool to hear just what you guys have been able to accomplish.
00:02:23
Speaker
And, you know, you got super supportive gal behind you here.
00:02:26
Speaker
So I know you guys are taking over the world.
Building United Energy: A Partnership Success Story
00:02:29
Speaker
So, yeah, do you want to give us just a little – I know you just got done telling this before we hit the record button here, but do you want to just give us a little background on how you started United Energy and how you got to this point?
00:02:40
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:02:41
Speaker
I think it's important to say this where you say you've got a super supportive gal.
00:02:47
Speaker
I think having her here on the podcast is really special and important for me because everyone, they see the success.
00:02:54
Speaker
They see the results, the cars or whatever, the businesses.
00:02:59
Speaker
And people ask, like, what's the secret?
00:03:02
Speaker
What do you do?
00:03:04
Speaker
And quite frankly, like, there's no success if there's no team.
00:03:11
Speaker
So it's like, how did you do it?
00:03:13
Speaker
Well, the truth is I didn't do it.
00:03:14
Speaker
I did it because of her.
00:03:16
Speaker
Like I'm only the reason the only reason I'm here is because of her.
00:03:21
Speaker
So it's not that she was supportive.
00:03:22
Speaker
Like she's the reason.
00:03:24
Speaker
She's the why.
00:03:27
Speaker
If what people don't see is when you go build a business, when you go, you know, start a company from scratch, the late hours, the nights you don't come home.
00:03:37
Speaker
the conversations as an entrepreneur and especially a solar printer whatever solar preneur thank you when your money's high your pipeline's full and then all of a sudden you hit a dry spell or covet hits which we we lived through um and all of a sudden the business is going bankrupt and i'm you know on my knees and crying and she's there to make sure that she puts her arm
The Role of Partnership in Business and Life
00:03:59
Speaker
around me and then helps me up and if i didn't have that if
00:04:02
Speaker
You look at any phenomenal CEO or any powerful businessman, and at some point in that story, if there wasn't the other half holding up her end of the deal, it wouldn't have been a success, period.
00:04:16
Speaker
So there's no me without her.
00:04:18
Speaker
Yeah, I love that.
00:04:19
Speaker
And I know sometimes it's easy to forget about that.
00:04:23
Speaker
I know my wife's going to love to hear this.
00:04:25
Speaker
She's going to pay money to hear what you just said.
00:04:28
Speaker
I know I need to do a better job, and she's super supportive.
00:04:32
Speaker
And what I think door-to-door guys struggle with is just, we talk about balance, and I know there's never going to be balance.
00:04:38
Speaker
You know how it is?
00:04:39
Speaker
There's always got to be different seasons and times where you're pushing harder.
00:04:42
Speaker
But I think it's one of the coolest things to see high-level guys like yourself that have a really successful marriage, that have the people behind you.
00:04:50
Speaker
Because unfortunately, there's a lot of guys in door-to-door that don't have that.
00:04:53
Speaker
And a lot of guys have been through divorces and stuff, too.
00:04:56
Speaker
Most all of our friends, man.
00:04:57
Speaker
And I'll let her talk to this.
00:04:59
Speaker
But you talk about the divorces.
00:05:01
Speaker
You talk about, and again, I want to just correct something.
00:05:03
Speaker
Because I want to start changing this when we talk to CEOs or successful people like this.
00:05:09
Speaker
there's not a supportive person standing behind me.
00:05:12
Speaker
When I change my paradigm that I'm standing behind her, that what I do funds her business, I'm out there working.
00:05:21
Speaker
I'm the angel investor in her household to her business.
00:05:24
Speaker
She runs, we got four kids.
00:05:28
Speaker
She's on time to everything.
00:05:30
Speaker
She gets every meeting.
00:05:31
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She makes sure that it's on a budget.
00:05:33
Speaker
She runs an extremely successful business in that
00:05:37
Speaker
I fund it.
00:05:38
Speaker
I stand behind her.
00:05:39
Speaker
And when I changed that paradigm, like my, why got bigger, my desire to go achieve more got bigger.
00:05:44
Speaker
I started starting other businesses and doing more ventures because I wanted to give her more capital to go have a better life and do bigger things on her side.
00:05:54
Speaker
Um,
00:05:55
Speaker
And she just got done doing a fitness show.
00:05:58
Speaker
And so that's the kind of things that make me want to thrive.
00:06:02
Speaker
So just a quick back story, and then we'll address that question.
00:06:07
Speaker
So I started in 2004.
00:06:08
Speaker
Sorry, I'm going to answer your original question.
Brandon's Career Path and Mentorship
00:06:10
Speaker
Started in 2004 with a company called Atlas.
00:06:14
Speaker
A few of us started some OGs, I guess, that are still around.
00:06:19
Speaker
And after two years, we went with a company called Apex.
00:06:24
Speaker
And I'm very grateful for Todd and what Todd did for us during that transition.
00:06:29
Speaker
The company Atlas didn't pay our backends, and Todd came in and took care of us.
00:06:32
Speaker
So I'll always mention that part of the story when I tell my story.
00:06:37
Speaker
And then Apex gave myself and my close friend, Casey Baugh, an opportunity to step on a platform and do what we did and thrive.
00:06:46
Speaker
But that first year we went out, we recruited almost 300 people to come with us.
00:06:50
Speaker
And it was just a really fun experience.
00:06:52
Speaker
And we had just gotten married.
00:06:54
Speaker
In fact, we got married.
00:06:56
Speaker
I went out for like four weeks, flew home for our wedding, and then we went on our honeymoon, and then we started our lives as a married couple in the summer.
00:07:08
Speaker
Wow.
00:07:09
Speaker
In Denver, Colorado, in rep housing.
00:07:11
Speaker
Wow.
00:07:12
Speaker
Was our very first in 2005.
00:07:14
Speaker
Was our first year married was in summer door door.
00:07:18
Speaker
So that's all she's ever known.
00:07:20
Speaker
That's all we've ever known, and we're grateful for it now.
00:07:24
Speaker
But so –
00:07:26
Speaker
As Vivint progressed, Apex progressed, it changed to Vivint.
00:07:29
Speaker
I was a regional manager at Vivint.
00:07:32
Speaker
And then when Blackstone came in and said, hey, we want to extend these contracts.
00:07:36
Speaker
They're five years, $2,000 deals.
00:07:38
Speaker
We want $30,000 deals for 20 years.
00:07:41
Speaker
Go find that product.
00:07:43
Speaker
When solar came back, there was a few of us, and I was the fifth DM or manager that was hired at Vivint Solar.
00:07:51
Speaker
Started in the New Jersey office, which if anyone's an OG,
00:07:54
Speaker
probably came through my office at some point in time.
00:07:56
Speaker
And we'll know that that Pinebrook office in New Jersey was the starting grounds for this whole industry.
00:08:04
Speaker
And it's been really crazy.
00:08:05
Speaker
It's like a family reunion out there.
00:08:07
Speaker
Like everyone knows me or the name and knows where we started.
00:08:10
Speaker
It's just really kind of cool to see where it's all came from.
00:08:14
Speaker
I know there's other veins too, but that's a big piece.
00:08:17
Speaker
We expanded eight offices in New Jersey and spread through the East Coast.
Innovations at United Energy: Franchise Model
00:08:24
Speaker
Then we needed to move to California.
00:08:25
Speaker
So we up and moved our region to California.
00:08:27
Speaker
We helped open 10 offices throughout the LA to Temecula up to Thousand Oaks area.
00:08:34
Speaker
And then after three years of there, we opened up Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, Texas,
00:08:43
Speaker
Colorado, just what they call the Southwest.
00:08:45
Speaker
And I was the regional over, or the director, VP, whatever you want to call it, over the Southwest region.
00:08:52
Speaker
And we grew that for a while.
00:08:54
Speaker
And then Greg Butterfield, a great friend and mentor of mine, had me come in as the talent acquisition manager, the VP of talent acquisition.
00:09:02
Speaker
So I built a program inside of Vivint Solar that recruited 327 heads
00:09:09
Speaker
every quarter and those were heads that got to two permits submitted so we brought on like 500 people but 327 were getting to two permits so building a big recruiting machine is kind of like my forte and my background and then when Sunrun came in and started to look through the Vivint Solar stuff there were some things that happened that I didn't want to stay around for so we kind of cashed out on our shares and we left and we started
00:09:34
Speaker
United Energy.
00:09:35
Speaker
So United Energy now started as a sales dealer for solar.
00:09:40
Speaker
And we kind of joined arms with Doug Robinson, who's another good friend.
00:09:43
Speaker
So Doug was part of that Atlas group originally at Legacy.
00:09:46
Speaker
So me and Doug came together and we started what we called the franchise, where we put a platform where we combined volume to go drive down EPC pricing and put more banks on
Recruitment in Solar Industry
00:09:56
Speaker
the platform.
00:09:56
Speaker
Me and Doug kind of came up with that concept.
00:10:00
Speaker
And that went really well.
00:10:02
Speaker
And then United got big enough and we wanted to start installing.
00:10:04
Speaker
We started our own installer called United Builders.
00:10:07
Speaker
So we are a full EPC in Utah.
00:10:09
Speaker
We're probably one of the last ones left.
00:10:12
Speaker
And we also have a warehouse in 20,000 square feet and four crews in Texas through the Houston to Dallas corridor up and down.
00:10:20
Speaker
We were installing all up and down Texas.
00:10:21
Speaker
So...
00:10:22
Speaker
Other than that, we're in five states.
00:10:24
Speaker
We've got about, you know, 300 other reps and dealers and other companies that use us that we sell other EPCs through other regions as well.
00:10:32
Speaker
So that's where we're currently looking at this recruiting platform that we're talking about Shut the Fluff Up is something that's kind of cool where Brandon Hall and his group contacted me and my group and said, hey, why don't we come together and focus on bringing value to people through a recruiting community?
00:10:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:50
Speaker
And I think that's super dope.
00:10:51
Speaker
And I'm all about that.
00:10:53
Speaker
It doesn't matter if I'm the CEO of United and he's the CEO of True Energy or True Power.
00:10:58
Speaker
We're company agnostic on this.
00:10:59
Speaker
We just want to go teach people how to go recruit and grow.
00:11:03
Speaker
And I feel like there's a big need for that in the industry.
00:11:05
Speaker
And I think that's kind of.
00:11:06
Speaker
Kind of why we're here.
00:11:08
Speaker
So there's the quick synopsis.
00:11:10
Speaker
As quick as I can.
00:11:11
Speaker
Yeah, I know.
00:11:12
Speaker
Couldn't last long time.
00:11:13
Speaker
Got all the accolades for sure.
00:11:15
Speaker
But no, we were talking with Brandon just before this, and that's what's so cool about what you're doing with Shut the Fluff Up is there's a lot of people that talk recruiting, but I mean, you and Brandon, you guys have literally recruited probably more than anyone.
00:11:27
Speaker
really in the industry.
00:11:28
Speaker
It's like you built entire companies too.
00:11:30
Speaker
So I think there's so many people that just say, hey, bring in people on ZipRecruiter indeed, but they haven't built massive organizations like yourselves.
00:11:39
Speaker
You know what's cool too is that as I've learned the skills to recruit in door-to-door, that's translated over to our United Builders, which is all construction people, all W-2 type people, all in-house office people.
00:11:53
Speaker
So not just reps, but I've recruited almost everybody, all the leadership positions inside of United Builders, and none of them are door-to-door people.
00:12:04
Speaker
So we have almost 25 people on staff that I've recruited personally inside of that company.
00:12:10
Speaker
not just door to door.
00:12:11
Speaker
So these skill sets are transferable and we're having great experiences with people because of what we had to learn through door to door that makes us actually more valuable in other marketplaces.
00:12:21
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome.
00:12:23
Speaker
And so you were at Sunrun.
00:12:25
Speaker
I know you, like you're saying, cashed out with them.
00:12:27
Speaker
I guess what made you decide, if you don't mind sharing, what made you decide to just start United Energy instead of – because I know I have actually a lot of friends that were through the whole transition.
00:12:39
Speaker
And a lot of them stayed through it.
00:12:40
Speaker
So what made you decide to switch and start United Energy instead of just sticking around
Why Start United Energy? Challenges and Opportunities
00:12:45
Speaker
with them?
00:12:45
Speaker
Good question.
00:12:46
Speaker
I did not stick around through the Sunrun transition.
00:12:49
Speaker
So just to be clear.
00:12:51
Speaker
I heard that they were looking through our stuff and that there was going to be a possible transaction.
00:12:56
Speaker
And what people don't understand was that Vivint Solar was not a full soups and nuts company all the time.
00:13:03
Speaker
So in Southwest, they actually groomed me to be, I say groomed me, I had to go learn how to go start these markets where there wasn't tax equity.
00:13:14
Speaker
I went and used every bank and I know all the lending companies out there
00:13:18
Speaker
uh, Tongi was one of, was my first CEO and he's now running Goodleap.
00:13:22
Speaker
He's the president of Goodleap.
00:13:24
Speaker
He was the first CEO I ever reported to at Vivint Solar.
00:13:27
Speaker
But we used, the reason why he did that was because we went through a ton of different loan products to facilitate the Southwest that no one else ever had to do.
00:13:35
Speaker
If you're in California the whole time or Jersey the whole time, you're just using PPAs or TPOs.
00:13:39
Speaker
We never used that.
00:13:40
Speaker
So I had to go find the loans.
00:13:41
Speaker
I had to go find the suppliers.
00:13:42
Speaker
I had to, I helped Eric Bogd get his job at
00:13:46
Speaker
his current panel company, because we had to go through, find different panels when they came up, right?
00:13:50
Speaker
So I had to go basically be my own sub-EPC dealer at Southwest.
00:13:58
Speaker
So when that time came and Vivint was focused on going into California more, they were shutting down, some of the legislation was shutting down some of these states, Utah, Texas, and I didn't want to leave the Southwest.
00:14:11
Speaker
I thought there was a lot of money still to be made, and they didn't.
00:14:14
Speaker
So we just kind of had a difference of opinions.
00:14:15
Speaker
And I said, hey, you guys go to California.
00:14:17
Speaker
Anyone that wants to stay with me in the Southwest, they can come with me.
00:14:20
Speaker
And they agreed.
00:14:21
Speaker
And there were some other things that happened that I cannot talk about.
00:14:24
Speaker
But basically, they allowed me to leave and they allowed me to take the people with me, which should let everyone know kind of how things panned out.
00:14:33
Speaker
And
00:14:34
Speaker
which I still have a lot of friends over there, a lot of great friends, a lot of people I wish nothing well on.
00:14:40
Speaker
But I'm very grateful for that opportunity because it made me get grimy and start over and do it on my own, and I felt like I could do a better job.
Choosing the Right Business Partners
00:14:49
Speaker
And verdict's still out, but I think from a customer process, I think that the verdict's been decided.
00:14:55
Speaker
No, but you guys are crushing it.
00:14:57
Speaker
Well, yeah, and so this, so when you started United Energy, was that the first, like, basically company you started yourself, or had you started other, because I know you manage regions and stuff like that, but.
00:15:08
Speaker
Yeah, we started other companies.
00:15:09
Speaker
We had one called EPC that was an alarm dealer that we had for a few years that we sold the CPI.
00:15:13
Speaker
Okay.
00:15:15
Speaker
That was a, we had a good transaction and exit after two years.
00:15:20
Speaker
I'd always been an entrepreneur, side hustles.
00:15:23
Speaker
We had a health food company we did, but,
00:15:27
Speaker
Yeah, nothing to this scale.
00:15:28
Speaker
Okay.
00:15:29
Speaker
That's a good one.
00:15:30
Speaker
Okay.
00:15:31
Speaker
So, yeah, I guess I'm curious.
00:15:33
Speaker
Did you have any, like, was it, like, pretty nerve-wracking?
00:15:36
Speaker
Were you pretty confident that you could go out and crush it starting your own thing, or was it a – That's actually one of the first things that attracted me to Brandon is that when he decides in his mind to do something, there's no doubt in my mind he will conquer, like, 100%.
00:15:51
Speaker
So when he decided to do United, it's kind of like that moment when you get to the top of the roller coaster.
00:15:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:55
Speaker
And you look and you're like, oh, shit, I'm about to go down.
00:15:58
Speaker
You kind of get all those butterflies, but you're like, but I'm not walking down all those stairs.
00:16:02
Speaker
Like, I'm not going to quit.
00:16:03
Speaker
I'm going to get on the roller coaster.
00:16:04
Speaker
Like, I've committed.
00:16:06
Speaker
Brandon's super good at that.
00:16:07
Speaker
So literally, I always tease him.
00:16:08
Speaker
I'm like, if there's ever an apocalyptic situation...
00:16:10
Speaker
Like I have zero nerves whatsoever.
00:16:14
Speaker
Brandon's good.
00:16:15
Speaker
Hook, line, and sinker.
00:16:16
Speaker
Okay.
00:16:17
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:16:18
Speaker
But have you failed at any of them though?
00:16:20
Speaker
Yeah, I was scared shitless.
00:16:21
Speaker
Okay.
00:16:23
Speaker
So, yeah, there was those moments, man.
00:16:26
Speaker
No question.
00:16:27
Speaker
And I'll say this.
00:16:29
Speaker
If you're not ready to have a committed heart to anything you do, God can't work miracles unless you have a fully committed heart.
00:16:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:40
Speaker
So once you commit your heart, your mind, and soul to doing something, God can work miracles.
00:16:46
Speaker
But it will be a gut check where we actually had to – we mortgaged our house to make our first payroll.
00:16:53
Speaker
You want to talk about a gut check?
00:16:54
Speaker
Like I'm not putting my kids in jeopardy.
00:16:57
Speaker
I'm putting my family in jeopardy.
00:16:58
Speaker
Like this better work.
00:17:01
Speaker
And once you decide that it's going to work, come hell or high water, and I will scratch and bleed.
00:17:06
Speaker
So me and my two partners that started United Energy, so first thing about recruiting –
00:17:11
Speaker
if you're going to go start something, you better have the right people in the right seats.
00:17:15
Speaker
So I have two partners, Austin Summers, who's our president, and Morgan Torgerson, who's our CSO, who are rock stars.
00:17:23
Speaker
And they are owners with me.
00:17:25
Speaker
And because of what they do, it gives me confidence to go do what I do.
Dynamics of Successful Partnerships
00:17:30
Speaker
And we have our distinct roles, and they're very different.
00:17:32
Speaker
But when you decide that this is what I'm going to do, I have the right people with the right product, we have the right
00:17:39
Speaker
it all lines up all it's gonna take is me to go crank yeah i feel like i can go crank through anything right so it's making sure that's lined up but there are those moments where you doubt hey i don't know if this is gonna happen yeah it won't happen so the moment you let doubt creep in where fear is faith hath no power but if you can just go decide and god can work in in you like
00:18:05
Speaker
There's been a few other times too where I'm like, man, I don't know if we do this.
00:18:07
Speaker
Like, do we go take on this debt?
00:18:09
Speaker
Do we go take on these commitments?
00:18:11
Speaker
Do we go do these things?
00:18:12
Speaker
Do I go put myself on this line?
00:18:13
Speaker
Like, do I go personally guarantee this?
00:18:18
Speaker
I don't know.
00:18:18
Speaker
Like, then all of a sudden the world gets crazy.
00:18:21
Speaker
But as soon as I'm like, no, we got this.
00:18:23
Speaker
Let's go.
00:18:23
Speaker
All of a sudden we go recruit 24 guys.
00:18:25
Speaker
We go deploy another crew.
00:18:26
Speaker
We go, and then it just happens and it works out because I committed to making sure it works.
00:18:32
Speaker
And so many times people at that linchpin moment, my partner Morgan just taught me this again, at that linchpin moment, it's either going to break and you're going to fail and no one would care.
00:18:42
Speaker
Everyone would say like, oh, that load was super heavy.
00:18:44
Speaker
Of course it broke.
00:18:45
Speaker
That's okay.
00:18:46
Speaker
You're not to blame.
00:18:47
Speaker
We understand.
00:18:49
Speaker
But it's the moments that the people decide it's not going to break and I'm going to get through it.
00:18:53
Speaker
Where people are like, whoa, that was amazing.
00:18:56
Speaker
Now anyone could have had that moment.
00:18:58
Speaker
They just decided to break and let it be okay.
00:19:00
Speaker
It's not okay.
00:19:01
Speaker
And when that's your mentality, you'll be successful.
00:19:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:05
Speaker
No, that's massive.
00:19:06
Speaker
I love hearing that.
00:19:07
Speaker
But for those that, I don't know, maybe they're thinking of starting their own solar dealer or like maybe going out by themselves with starting something.
00:19:15
Speaker
How do you like, I mean, how do you know if you should have a partner and how did you even find these good partners?
00:19:20
Speaker
Because I've heard a lot of horror stories about like terrible, maybe you've had some bad ones too.
00:19:23
Speaker
But how did you find these guys that were like rock stars and
00:19:26
Speaker
They helped you build it that much?
00:19:28
Speaker
Yep.
00:19:28
Speaker
So these guys were tried and true war generals that worked for me at Vivint.
00:19:34
Speaker
So I had eight years of experience with these guys.
00:19:37
Speaker
Austin was one of my regionals that ran Las Vegas and Texas, and Morgan was my manager that ran Texas.
00:19:43
Speaker
So we were kind of like the downline team that had worked together.
00:19:47
Speaker
I'd opened Vegas, shut down Vegas, opened Vegas, opened Texas, shut down Texas.
00:19:51
Speaker
So these guys had been through the ringer with me a few times.
00:19:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:19:54
Speaker
And I know I could trust them.
00:19:56
Speaker
So in any of my businesses, we also own a gym called Transform
Conducting Personal SWOT for Partnerships
00:20:00
Speaker
Fitness.
00:20:00
Speaker
Myself and my wife own it with a guy named Lou and Cass, another couple.
00:20:08
Speaker
Lou was one of my first reps in California that came out and was working and needed a loan to go start.
00:20:14
Speaker
So I had given him that loan.
00:20:16
Speaker
And after seven years, he asked me to come back in and get involved on the money side and be the brains.
00:20:22
Speaker
Well, I'd already worked with Lou.
00:20:23
Speaker
I knew who I was dealing with.
00:20:25
Speaker
I'd watched him in the streets.
00:20:26
Speaker
I'd watched him hustle.
00:20:27
Speaker
So I feel like, to your question, I've always got great partners.
00:20:31
Speaker
And look at this partner here.
00:20:33
Speaker
She's everything I'm not.
00:20:34
Speaker
So first thing you do when you're looking to starting something, identify what your strengths are.
00:20:38
Speaker
I know I'm a great recruiter.
00:20:39
Speaker
I know I can be the face.
00:20:41
Speaker
I know that I can sell anyone on anything.
00:20:43
Speaker
I can pitch.
00:20:44
Speaker
I can present.
00:20:45
Speaker
I'm good on the spot.
00:20:47
Speaker
This is what I shine in.
00:20:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:49
Speaker
What am I not good at?
00:20:50
Speaker
Then less out your weaknesses and then go find.
00:20:53
Speaker
I'm never on time.
00:20:54
Speaker
She's on time all the time.
00:20:55
Speaker
I'm not very organized.
00:20:56
Speaker
She's extremely organized.
00:20:57
Speaker
I don't know this.
00:20:59
Speaker
She does these.
00:20:59
Speaker
And this is why we make a phenomenal pair.
00:21:02
Speaker
17 years and we run one of the greatest organizations of all time.
00:21:05
Speaker
I do that with my solar company.
00:21:07
Speaker
This is what I'm good at.
00:21:07
Speaker
My partners are polar opposites of each other in every sense of the word.
00:21:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:12
Speaker
My gym, Lou, is the polar opposite of me.
00:21:14
Speaker
In that setting, I'm the behind-the-scenes guy.
00:21:17
Speaker
I'm the money.
00:21:18
Speaker
I'm the brains.
00:21:19
Speaker
Lou is the face.
00:21:20
Speaker
He's the guy in front.
00:21:21
Speaker
He's been on stage before.
00:21:22
Speaker
He's got the muscles.
00:21:22
Speaker
He's the guy that people want to talk to.
00:21:25
Speaker
Great.
00:21:25
Speaker
Play your role.
00:21:26
Speaker
Know your part.
00:21:27
Speaker
Play your role and go make it bigger.
00:21:28
Speaker
Take a small percentage of a bigger pie.
00:21:31
Speaker
You'll always be happier.
00:21:32
Speaker
That's what the stock market is.
00:21:33
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:34
Speaker
So would you say you actually have to like the people you partner with?
00:21:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:39
Speaker
You've got to love them because you're going to hate them.
00:21:41
Speaker
At some point, you're going to hate them.
00:21:43
Speaker
That's why you got to love them.
00:21:44
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:45
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:45
Speaker
No, that's good.
00:21:46
Speaker
That's good advice.
00:21:47
Speaker
Appreciate it.
00:21:49
Speaker
Those are my steps.
Balancing Marriage and Business
00:21:50
Speaker
One, identify your, give yourself a personal SWOT analysis, right?
00:21:54
Speaker
Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.
00:21:57
Speaker
Go find someone who feels in your weaknesses and see what they're be willing to come in and do.
00:22:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:01
Speaker
I love that.
00:22:02
Speaker
So yeah, I want to kind of shift gears and, uh, you know, hear from Liz's perspective.
00:22:06
Speaker
I know she's, she's the main focus here.
00:22:08
Speaker
Let's be honest.
00:22:11
Speaker
So, uh, but yeah, um, I mean, I'm married.
00:22:13
Speaker
I was telling you guys been married, uh, I think almost going on six years now.
00:22:17
Speaker
So, uh,
00:22:18
Speaker
trying to figure it out like you guys but uh i mean how do you that's one of my biggest questions the things i struggle with how do you have like maintain such a successful marriage and like maybe you have some stories liz where you'd like whip this guy into shape but uh how do you like keep it you know balanced to extend i know he's obviously working a ton building companies but what would you say from your perspective has been like uh the key to having a great marriage and and all that or maybe some stories that you had to whip him into shape or anything
00:22:48
Speaker
the first thing that comes to mind is creating expectations.
00:22:50
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:51
Speaker
So I'm very much like a planner type person.
00:22:54
Speaker
I'm good with whatever the plan is.
00:22:56
Speaker
If the plan is you're not coming home till midnight and you have to leave the house at nine, I'm good with that.
00:23:00
Speaker
Just create expectations.
00:23:02
Speaker
And then in conjunction with that though, we started this probably like four or five years ago that every Friday night at 8 p.m.
00:23:09
Speaker
was our date night.
00:23:10
Speaker
And I know that's kind of late, but I'm okay with that because again, we go back to expectations.
00:23:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:15
Speaker
So I know that from eight o'clock till midnight, he's all mine.
00:23:18
Speaker
So we're going out.
00:23:20
Speaker
There's no phone.
00:23:21
Speaker
It's just us.
00:23:22
Speaker
And then I'm good.
00:23:23
Speaker
Like, and because I have that, like that treat, if you will, to look forward to, I'm good with the Monday through Friday from 8 a.m.
00:23:31
Speaker
till midnight.
00:23:32
Speaker
And more of our marriage than not, it's been that.
00:23:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:35
Speaker
So I think if I could go back and tell my younger self that, I think it would have saved a lot of heartache because there was a lot of frustration at the beginning.
00:23:41
Speaker
Because in my mind, you get married and you're like, oh, we're going to get married and spend all this time together.
00:23:46
Speaker
No, you get married and you spend significantly less time together.
00:23:49
Speaker
And then you throw kids in that.
00:23:51
Speaker
So then you're on two opposite schedules.
00:23:52
Speaker
You're working all day and then your wife's up all night.
00:23:54
Speaker
And it's like, well, when the hell are we going to see each other?
00:23:57
Speaker
And so you kind of like forget why you're even married for a while.
00:23:59
Speaker
I mean, let's be real, right?
00:24:02
Speaker
So I think it was going through a lot of those bumpy roads.
00:24:06
Speaker
Then we realized, okay, how do we get on the same page with expectations?
00:24:10
Speaker
I'd agree.
00:24:11
Speaker
And yeah, I'm sure you guys, when you first had kids, maybe you don't remember that long back.
00:24:15
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:24:15
Speaker
It feels like yesterday.
00:24:16
Speaker
You remember.
00:24:18
Speaker
Yeah, but like, I don't know.
00:24:19
Speaker
For some reason in my head, I was thinking, you know, maybe we'll be even like closer once we have kids or something.
00:24:24
Speaker
And I was like, well, this is actually way harder because now you're coming home.
00:24:28
Speaker
You can't really focus on, like, I can't focus on, I have to go help my kids and all that when I get home.
00:24:33
Speaker
Right.
00:24:34
Speaker
And so even like having kids, it's just been a, yeah, I'm trying to figure it out and how to like balance that, but...
00:24:40
Speaker
I think what she's referencing too was about five years ago we noticed that we were growing apart.
00:24:45
Speaker
So I think at times you see that happening.
00:24:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:49
Speaker
And I would say get ahead of it.
00:24:50
Speaker
When you notice it happening, get ahead of it and just have an expectation conversation, right?
00:24:54
Speaker
Okay.
00:24:55
Speaker
And I let it go too long.
00:24:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:58
Speaker
on my own fault.
00:24:59
Speaker
And I thought I'll just go bury myself in work, just throw money at the problem, give her more money in her bank account.
00:25:04
Speaker
What do you want me to do?
00:25:05
Speaker
What do you want?
00:25:05
Speaker
You want hair done, nails done?
00:25:06
Speaker
Like I'll tell me what the amount is I'll put in your bank account and she'll be happy.
00:25:10
Speaker
She was for a few months and then that didn't fix the problem.
00:25:13
Speaker
Right.
00:25:14
Speaker
So then it was, okay, what do you want from me?
00:25:17
Speaker
And it was time.
00:25:18
Speaker
And so we set up, we set a part like, Hey, so here's what we did.
00:25:23
Speaker
We said, okay, on Fridays at, at,
00:25:27
Speaker
7.30 started and now it's 8 because of the kids.
00:25:29
Speaker
8 o'clock to midnight is you.
00:25:31
Speaker
100% you.
00:25:33
Speaker
And that's weekly.
00:25:34
Speaker
And I will shut my phone off, but at midnight, the agreement that she agrees to but she falls asleep is I turn my phone back on at midnight and then I can go recruit, which has happened many times.
00:25:45
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:25:45
Speaker
I'll have guys show up to my house at midnight on Friday night after she falls asleep because we know that's what's happening.
00:25:51
Speaker
Then I can get back and do what I got to do.
00:25:53
Speaker
So my whole team, my whole company knows that
00:25:55
Speaker
From 8 to midnight, I will not respond on Fridays.
00:25:59
Speaker
Everyone knows that expectation now.
00:26:01
Speaker
That she's set, great, that's her time.
00:26:03
Speaker
But they get me all the other times, so that's okay too, right, in their end.
00:26:07
Speaker
I think that people talk about this idea of balance.
00:26:09
Speaker
Like as much time as I spend at work, I spend with my wife.
00:26:12
Speaker
That's not true, so don't trick yourself.
00:26:15
Speaker
It's not quantity, it's quality.
00:26:17
Speaker
That's exactly right.
00:26:19
Speaker
When you're there, be present.
00:26:21
Speaker
Be where you're supposed to be and be there 100%.
00:26:24
Speaker
And that's really hard with today's technology in society, right?
00:26:27
Speaker
The other thing we did was we said, okay, every week we're going to go out on a date weekly.
00:26:31
Speaker
Every month we're going to go out and do something fun in a close little getaway, like if it's a hotel stay or if that's a Vegas trip or something quick overnight, like a weekend
Strategies for a Strong Marriage
00:26:42
Speaker
getaway.
00:26:42
Speaker
Once a month we'll do a weekend getaway.
00:26:44
Speaker
Once a quarter we'll go on a good trip, like a fun trip where we take time, take the kids, or just us, and we'll go and spend more than one day.
00:26:53
Speaker
And if you go back through the last four years, we have actually hit that.
00:26:57
Speaker
So planning that, making sure that happens and that she knows it's coming really makes up for the long nights and the weekend.
00:27:06
Speaker
The other expectation piece I'll let her talk about is this last phase after about year 13, we've noticed a lot of our friends started getting divorced and really separating.
00:27:16
Speaker
And she's my dream girl.
00:27:19
Speaker
She's my soulmate.
00:27:20
Speaker
She's my ride or die.
00:27:21
Speaker
Like,
00:27:22
Speaker
I don't think you go into marriage wanting to get divorced, right?
00:27:25
Speaker
But you just grow apart.
00:27:26
Speaker
And at that year 13, we noticed that that was starting to happen.
00:27:30
Speaker
So she actually called it on us and said, hey, there's a few different roles or expectations that I want to fulfill and I want you to fulfill and let's go at that.
00:27:39
Speaker
And I think that's been the real key secret to why we're at year 17 and more in love and more in sync and being more successful by our definition than we've ever been before.
00:27:49
Speaker
So you can talk about that.
00:27:50
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:27:52
Speaker
It's all expectations, right?
00:27:53
Speaker
I look out.
00:27:54
Speaker
I think we all have these expectations.
00:27:56
Speaker
And the older we get or the more time we spend with our significant other, it's hard to keep suppressing.
00:28:02
Speaker
Because we push it down and you're busy with work or you're busy with your little kids.
00:28:06
Speaker
You're like, oh, that's way down there, way down there.
00:28:08
Speaker
And so some of those things aren't as overwhelming or pressuring.
00:28:16
Speaker
So some of those maybe deeper things have time to float up.
00:28:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:21
Speaker
And you start thinking about what you really want.
00:28:23
Speaker
And you get older and you realize... I think people call it a midlife crisis, but I think you just become more aware of what you want or what you aren't and what you need or what you don't want anymore, right?
00:28:32
Speaker
We get more real and honest with ourselves.
00:28:35
Speaker
Or with our partner.
00:28:36
Speaker
And hopefully it is with your partner.
00:28:38
Speaker
And you feel trustworthy or honest enough with your partner or safe enough that you can discover that together.
00:28:47
Speaker
So again, I think...
00:28:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:51
Speaker
So.
00:28:51
Speaker
You don't preach.
00:28:53
Speaker
No, I just think that being vulnerable and sharing with each other and again, creating those expectations, whether that's, hey, I really need this in our relationship and he feels safe enough to say, well, I really need this in our relationship because why do those divorces happen or those affairs happen?
00:29:09
Speaker
It's because you don't feel safe enough to tell your partner, I really need something else.
00:29:13
Speaker
And by saying I need something else doesn't mean that
00:29:15
Speaker
You don't like what you have.
00:29:16
Speaker
It's like when you're... What's true in one realm of life is true in all realms of life.
00:29:21
Speaker
The same is true at your work.
00:29:22
Speaker
You can choose to go and talk to your boss and create different terms of your employment, or you can choose to quit and go somewhere else.
00:29:29
Speaker
Well, a job is a job.
00:29:31
Speaker
Like, is the grass really greener anywhere else?
00:29:34
Speaker
Or at some point, you like working your current job and there's just a few tweaks you'd like to make.
00:29:38
Speaker
That's technically easier, but for some people, it feels scary.
00:29:41
Speaker
It's the same with marriage.
00:29:43
Speaker
I don't know.
00:29:43
Speaker
No doubt.
00:29:44
Speaker
Well, it's true.
00:29:44
Speaker
And yeah, I love the expectations because I'm still learning to do that.
00:29:48
Speaker
But like even, I don't know about you, Brandon, but coming to events like this,
00:29:51
Speaker
Like my wife, she has to know super far in advance, like, hey, one of these events.
00:29:56
Speaker
Now with two kids, she's like, all right, I'm going to have to like book myself a babysitter while you're gone.
00:30:01
Speaker
Otherwise, I'm going to go nuts.
00:30:03
Speaker
So yesterday she was out.
00:30:04
Speaker
She got a babysitter, was out at the spa and everything.
00:30:07
Speaker
That's so awesome of you guys.
00:30:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:10
Speaker
And awesome of you to realize her needs and meet her there and be like, yes, you need this.
00:30:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:15
Speaker
I know.
00:30:15
Speaker
Yeah, I'm trying.
00:30:16
Speaker
But no, there's times like in the past I would just be like, oh, hey, I'm going to this event this weekend.
00:30:23
Speaker
And then, yeah, got me in a lot of trouble and got me like, you know, kind of banned from going to events for a little bit.
00:30:30
Speaker
Obviously, you've learned.
00:30:31
Speaker
Yeah.
Overcoming Relationship Challenges
00:30:32
Speaker
So I'm trying to learn, you know, got to learn the hard way.
00:30:34
Speaker
That's how the guys do it.
00:30:36
Speaker
I think, too, talking about that subject of divorce, I've had about five people in the last week come talk to me about this divorce.
00:30:43
Speaker
Just one yesterday I was telling her about this morning.
00:30:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:46
Speaker
And I think this expectation topic is really good.
00:30:48
Speaker
So I think without, and I think going a little bit deeper to it, we set some expectations about being different roles in each other's lives.
00:30:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:58
Speaker
And I think people don't talk about this enough, and I want to talk about it because no one talks about it.
00:31:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:03
Speaker
So like when we got real with each other, we said, okay, people get divorced.
00:31:08
Speaker
Why?
00:31:08
Speaker
Because they had an affair with who?
00:31:10
Speaker
A mistress?
00:31:11
Speaker
Like a side chick?
00:31:13
Speaker
Like what does a girl want?
00:31:13
Speaker
A sugar daddy?
00:31:14
Speaker
Like some guy that, what?
00:31:16
Speaker
So we actually had that conversation.
00:31:19
Speaker
And we decided, hey, no matter what, we're going to roll together.
00:31:23
Speaker
We're going to be one on this.
00:31:24
Speaker
So if you want to go to a party and get drunk, I'll go to the party and get drunk with you.
00:31:28
Speaker
You want to go to the club and whatever, I'll go to the club or whatever with you.
00:31:32
Speaker
Like,
00:31:33
Speaker
we decided that we were going to become one and do things together.
00:31:36
Speaker
So that was the first decision.
00:31:38
Speaker
The second one was, okay, well then what else are you looking for in your life?
00:31:42
Speaker
Like, well, maybe I want a weekend fling.
00:31:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:46
Speaker
Again, I'm being super honest.
00:31:47
Speaker
Maybe I do.
00:31:48
Speaker
I don't want a commitment type thing.
00:31:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:51
Speaker
And so she says, well, I want to be that for you.
00:31:54
Speaker
And I said, well, I want to be that for you.
00:31:56
Speaker
So when we do our Friday nights, we actually go have a weekend fling together.
00:32:01
Speaker
We go do that together.
00:32:02
Speaker
So when she says expectations, what she's saying, and I want to tell your opinion.
00:32:07
Speaker
Do it.
00:32:08
Speaker
Like that's what she's saying.
00:32:09
Speaker
Like we'll go out on a Friday night and we are the weekend fling.
00:32:13
Speaker
Like we will straight up pretend like we are on a, like your husband's at home.
00:32:18
Speaker
Like I'm here like straight up.
00:32:20
Speaker
And we won't play it.
00:32:21
Speaker
Like we won't go that deep into like character or we don't play characters or whatever, but I feel like that mentality.
00:32:28
Speaker
Sure.
00:32:28
Speaker
Whatever you guys are going to do, like to make sure it's fresh and it's, it's fun.
00:32:32
Speaker
As long as you're doing it together.
00:32:33
Speaker
Right.
00:32:34
Speaker
And I think,
00:32:35
Speaker
Shout out to her because that was her decision, her call, and she brought that up.
00:32:38
Speaker
And I was like, I think this is why so many guys get involved in porn, to be honest.
00:32:43
Speaker
Like, you're just sitting there and your wife's asleep and you're a guy and you're just like, you got testosterone.
00:32:49
Speaker
And what do you do?
00:32:50
Speaker
It's like, well, now instead of I'll just go to her and say, hey, like, I'm super horny.
00:32:56
Speaker
Like, what do you want?
00:32:58
Speaker
Like, can you help me here?
00:32:59
Speaker
Like, we connect.
00:33:00
Speaker
And she knows that.
00:33:01
Speaker
She's like, yeah, absolutely.
00:33:02
Speaker
But I need in the morning, this is what I need.
00:33:05
Speaker
Perfect.
00:33:05
Speaker
Let's have that agreement.
00:33:06
Speaker
Set those expectations.
00:33:08
Speaker
Boom.
00:33:08
Speaker
And now that's allowed us to connect on levels that most people I don't think will ever connect.
00:33:13
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome.
00:33:15
Speaker
And yeah, I mean, for our listeners, the reason why, I mean, for me, we're talking about this just because, like speaking of Sunderland, I have a lot of friends that
00:33:22
Speaker
Sunrun and like all slower companies just seeing the divorce, the addictions, porn, just like you name it.
00:33:29
Speaker
I think it's a huge issue and door to door just because it's like a high stress job, right?
00:33:34
Speaker
And you think of like any addiction, what a guy's turned to in stress, you know, some guys turn into drugs, some guys turn into porn and just all sorts of issues.
00:33:43
Speaker
So I think it's something that definitely needs to be addressed.
00:33:46
Speaker
And that's why I have a ton of respect for you guys just so, you know, you don't see it as much.
00:33:51
Speaker
So.
00:33:52
Speaker
And who you are at work is the same person you are at home.
00:33:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:55
Speaker
So it's like if you're not having success at home, it for sure affects your ability to go to work.
00:34:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:00
Speaker
And be successful or not be successful.
00:34:03
Speaker
Well, yeah.
00:34:03
Speaker
And especially knocking doors.
00:34:05
Speaker
Like for me, if I'm having issues with my wife or just got in a fight.
00:34:08
Speaker
Totally.
00:34:09
Speaker
I'm like my head space is in such a terrible place that it's like pretty next to impossible to knock a door.
00:34:16
Speaker
We were literally in a fight two weeks ago and he texted me.
00:34:18
Speaker
He's like, please meet me at home for lunch because I cannot function.
00:34:21
Speaker
He's like,
00:34:22
Speaker
We have to figure this out or I can't go to work.
00:34:24
Speaker
I'm like, I hear you.
00:34:25
Speaker
Okay.
00:34:26
Speaker
I know.
00:34:27
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:34:28
Speaker
So, no, I appreciate you guys, you know, sharing what's worked and, you know, even for guys that aren't married or whatever.
00:34:35
Speaker
So what would you want to tell guys' wives that are at home listening?
00:34:40
Speaker
Like there's the time that we were talking about this and you're like, what do you need from me?
00:34:46
Speaker
We're talking about this.
00:34:47
Speaker
And we discussed this and you're like, I'll be your porn star.
00:34:52
Speaker
I'm like, well, what does that mean?
00:34:55
Speaker
And I think that paradigm from a woman's perspective, like what made you say that?
00:35:00
Speaker
Why did you say that?
00:35:00
Speaker
Like, again, I think this will be super, this is super real.
00:35:05
Speaker
No one's talking about this, but this is the issue.
00:35:08
Speaker
Again, those were all my counterparts.
00:35:10
Speaker
Those were all close friends we came up with.
00:35:13
Speaker
And to watch their relationships fall apart and why, I decided to get ahead of it.
00:35:18
Speaker
And again, we're not immune to it.
00:35:20
Speaker
We still discuss like, hey,
00:35:23
Speaker
You're at the gym.
00:35:24
Speaker
You're dressing like this.
00:35:26
Speaker
I'm having these conversations.
00:35:27
Speaker
I won't hug most women.
00:35:28
Speaker
I'll high five women for that reason.
00:35:31
Speaker
And people think that's weird.
00:35:32
Speaker
I don't because I don't want to lose this over some stupid thing that snowballs.
00:35:36
Speaker
I have a bad day.
00:35:37
Speaker
We get an argument.
00:35:38
Speaker
It's an easy thing.
00:35:40
Speaker
If I've always high five, it's okay.
00:35:41
Speaker
Does that make sense?
00:35:42
Speaker
So when you had that discussion, what was some of your mindset?
00:35:45
Speaker
What would you want to say to the women out there?
00:35:47
Speaker
The good Mormon girls, most adore guys, return missionaries, and they're married, and they're having problems, and she catches her husband looking on his phone.
00:35:55
Speaker
Like, what's your advice to that wife?
00:35:59
Speaker
I'd say two things.
00:36:00
Speaker
I'd say number one, marriage is a huge circle.
00:36:04
Speaker
And the first person who decides to knock the first domino down in this circle is just a matter of putting your pride away so you can decide meaning the man or the wife.
00:36:14
Speaker
And I realized the more I adore him and connect with him and...
00:36:25
Speaker
get in his world in an unselfish way, that that domino comes right back and he's adoring me and wants to get in my world and connect with me the way that I want to be connected with.
00:36:36
Speaker
And it literally just keeps going and you just have to keep that momentum going.
00:36:38
Speaker
And yes, in the period of our relationship, have we gone to the place where it's like, well, I initiated last night and it's your turn tonight, right?
00:36:45
Speaker
Like we all get into this petty shit and it's like, okay, but is it really worth that?
00:36:50
Speaker
No, like let's just keep the momentum going.
00:36:52
Speaker
We've all been there and I'm sure we are going to be there again.
00:36:55
Speaker
Like he said, we're not a meme.
00:36:57
Speaker
But yeah, to remember that this is a cycle.
00:36:59
Speaker
What goes around comes around.
00:37:00
Speaker
I'm okay.
00:37:01
Speaker
And we ebb and flow with, okay, it's okay.
00:37:05
Speaker
I'm good to do it tonight.
00:37:06
Speaker
Or I'm good to do it in principle at this moment in time because I know at another point in time it'll be the other person's turn.
00:37:13
Speaker
Right?
00:37:14
Speaker
So I'd say everything is a cycle.
00:37:16
Speaker
We came up with this redo concept.
00:37:19
Speaker
Just give me a redo.
00:37:22
Speaker
So we just basically like if we've had a bad day or whatever, I'm like, I started it last night and I didn't like how I came across whatever.
00:37:29
Speaker
I see her respond sharp or whatever.
00:37:31
Speaker
I'm like, oh, like, listen, can I just have a redo?
00:37:34
Speaker
Just give me a redo.
00:37:35
Speaker
Please, let's just forget about the last five seconds or five minutes or whatever happened.
00:37:39
Speaker
Let's just, can I just redo it?
00:37:41
Speaker
So we've initiated that with each other and that's been really good too to be like,
00:37:45
Speaker
Okay, look, I don't want to blame you for not initiating.
00:37:48
Speaker
Like, obviously, there's something that's going on in your life.
00:37:50
Speaker
Like, let me redo this and let me do it better.
00:37:52
Speaker
And we've allowed each other to redo and completely forgive it for a redo sake because I want to redo next time or she wants to redo next time.
00:37:59
Speaker
And I really don't want to replay that one time five years ago, which I sometimes have a hard time doing.
00:38:05
Speaker
So that's when we initiated, like, the reset.
00:38:06
Speaker
And we really have to, like, reset and let it go, right?
00:38:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:10
Speaker
And then the other thing for wives, I would say like tap into that girl you were when you started dating.
00:38:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:15
Speaker
And he treats me that way.
00:38:16
Speaker
So on Friday night, I make a point.
00:38:17
Speaker
I'm like, you can't come in the bathroom.
00:38:18
Speaker
I'm getting ready.
00:38:19
Speaker
Nice.
00:38:20
Speaker
I want to get cute.
00:38:21
Speaker
And then I will come out and meet you and you need to be put together too.
00:38:23
Speaker
Nice.
00:38:24
Speaker
Like we all let that go when we get married.
00:38:25
Speaker
It's like, why do we let that go?
00:38:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:27
Speaker
Like, treat me like a babe, and I promise it'll come full circle.
00:38:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:31
Speaker
Okay?
00:38:31
Speaker
Because there was never a time when we were dating that we were ever like, oh, I'm so tired.
00:38:36
Speaker
Like, no dating couple ever says that.
00:38:38
Speaker
I know.
00:38:39
Speaker
So, like, how do we mentally tap into, like, who we were when we were dating?
00:38:42
Speaker
Yes, let's leave notes for each other.
00:38:43
Speaker
Yes, go buy me flowers.
00:38:45
Speaker
Yes, I'll show up and bring you lunch at the office.
00:38:46
Speaker
Like, those are all things I did when we were dating.
00:38:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:49
Speaker
So we like almost start our self-destruct button when we get married because we stop doing all those things.
00:38:55
Speaker
Yeah, I know.
00:38:56
Speaker
It's so true.
00:38:57
Speaker
And, you know, me like growing up, you know, like warming kid and stuff, you know, from Utah.
00:39:03
Speaker
It's like, yeah, it's so exciting.
00:39:06
Speaker
You know, when you're like fooling around before you're married, obviously we're not having sex before we're married and all that.
00:39:10
Speaker
And it's like so exciting.
00:39:12
Speaker
And then you're married and then, yeah, you lose a lot of excitement and all that.
00:39:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:16
Speaker
But why?
00:39:17
Speaker
Like what are all the precursors, right?
00:39:18
Speaker
Yeah, I know.
00:39:20
Speaker
So like how do you reignite all those precursors?
00:39:21
Speaker
And then that will naturally just happen.
00:39:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:24
Speaker
Because it's a mood thing.
00:39:26
Speaker
Here's my favorite analogy.
00:39:26
Speaker
Okay.
00:39:27
Speaker
Women are ovens, not microwaves.
00:39:29
Speaker
Yeah, my wife says that too.
00:39:31
Speaker
OK, there we go.
00:39:34
Speaker
Yeah, but no, that's huge.
00:39:35
Speaker
And then I love what you guys said about, you know, just like, I think I can see from you, Brandon, just like telling her, like, hey, you know, I'm horny, whatever.
00:39:44
Speaker
Like, what expectations?
00:39:46
Speaker
It was a crazy part of our agreement, which was she was like, I need at least once or twice a week you to come home and do the kids.
00:39:53
Speaker
I need you to put them to bed.
00:39:54
Speaker
I want the time to get in bed.
00:39:56
Speaker
eat my granola or my ice cream or my donut or whatever.
00:39:59
Speaker
And I just, you need to come put them to bed.
00:40:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:02
Speaker
And I was like, okay.
00:40:03
Speaker
She's like, what do you need from me?
00:40:04
Speaker
I'm like, well, probably once or twice a week, like I'll come to bed and I'll wake up at 3am and I want to have sex.
00:40:11
Speaker
Like, she's like, great.
00:40:13
Speaker
Well, I'm half asleep.
00:40:14
Speaker
She's like, oh, this is, so we just came upon a mutually open agreement, which she,
00:40:21
Speaker
I wanted to fulfill her thing, which was she had a hard time asking me, which I'm like, that's stupid.
00:40:25
Speaker
Why would you have a hard time asking me that?
00:40:27
Speaker
I love playing with my kids.
00:40:29
Speaker
I actually really, I miss doing nighttime with my kids.
00:40:32
Speaker
I love it.
00:40:33
Speaker
And then I felt awkward asking her to just, can you just nail up real quick?
00:40:38
Speaker
Like, can we just, I don't want to have this conversation.
00:40:40
Speaker
And she's like, why are you having a hard time?
00:40:43
Speaker
Who gives a shit?
00:40:43
Speaker
So we're saving marriages here.
00:40:46
Speaker
So I think that,
00:40:48
Speaker
She was like, why are you having a hard time asking me that?
00:40:50
Speaker
I love doing that.
00:40:50
Speaker
Like, I love connecting with you.
00:40:52
Speaker
Why would you feel so awkward asking me that?
00:40:54
Speaker
And, oh, okay.
00:40:56
Speaker
And, like, it took us seven years to, like, have the first layer of this conversation.
00:41:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:02
Speaker
And then 13 years to get to where we're at now where it's like, I'll be your porn star.
00:41:06
Speaker
Like, I'll be your sugar daddy.
00:41:08
Speaker
Let's go have fun.
00:41:09
Speaker
And, like, it took us time to get to that place.
00:41:12
Speaker
And now, like,
00:41:14
Speaker
She's my wife.
00:41:16
Speaker
She's my girlfriend.
00:41:17
Speaker
She's my side chick.
00:41:18
Speaker
And like we're talking about expectations.
Addressing Personal Needs in Marriage
00:41:20
Speaker
She's my porn star.
00:41:21
Speaker
She's my stripper.
00:41:23
Speaker
And people laugh.
00:41:25
Speaker
But I tell you what, I don't look at my phone.
00:41:28
Speaker
Like I have more pictures of my wife on my phone than anything else.
00:41:32
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:41:32
Speaker
Because that's who she is to me now.
00:41:33
Speaker
And we've grown into that.
00:41:34
Speaker
And everyone can do that.
00:41:36
Speaker
You just got to have the expectation with each other.
00:41:38
Speaker
And you better be willing to bring it as a man.
00:41:41
Speaker
or, and do the dirty work and do anything that she says and be open to whatever she says, or else she won't reciprocate it.
00:41:49
Speaker
Yeah, I love that.
00:41:50
Speaker
Well, no, you guys, it's so cool to see, you know, how successful you've been and everything.
00:41:54
Speaker
And yeah, that's something I tried to do because I don't know about you, Brandon, but I was like,
00:41:58
Speaker
Embarrassed to ask my wife for like, you know, like I don't want to be like hey, I'm horny like stuff like that.
00:42:05
Speaker
Yep But actually yeah, actually like tried to start doing that just be like hey, can we like almost like plan it?
00:42:11
Speaker
You know so I don't have to feel like guilty for being like hey, you want to do something?
00:42:14
Speaker
You know, and that's but this is that the other cycle is there's a vicious cycle to this right?
00:42:19
Speaker
So you're embarrassed to ask yeah because you think she's gonna think less of you yeah, but
00:42:26
Speaker
And a lot of women need to understand that there is an actual hormone in men's bodies that just make them horny.
00:42:32
Speaker
Like, that's a thing, right?
00:42:34
Speaker
So instead of trying to fix that, like, oh, man, keep your heads in the, like, well, there's an actual hormone that's released in my body that makes me want to touch boobs.
00:42:42
Speaker
Like, that just is a reality.
00:42:45
Speaker
I got in an argument at my, I teach the teacher's quorum at church, and I was like,
00:42:48
Speaker
Listen, we're addressing the wrong problem here.
00:42:50
Speaker
Like we got to talk about, we can't say just don't look.
00:42:53
Speaker
They're going to look like if a lady ran in here without a shirt on, we'd all look.
00:42:58
Speaker
She'd look.
00:42:59
Speaker
We'd all look.
00:43:00
Speaker
So why are we saying that's the bad thing?
00:43:01
Speaker
That's not the bad thing.
00:43:03
Speaker
Right?
00:43:03
Speaker
Like, so let's address the issue.
00:43:05
Speaker
So, uh, I think that being able to say, okay, look, this is cause if you, if you don't.
00:43:13
Speaker
Okay.
00:43:14
Speaker
You're a salesman.
00:43:15
Speaker
You're a salesman.
00:43:17
Speaker
If you have a need, you make your girl feel like your goddess.
00:43:22
Speaker
There's no reason she won't want to do anything and everything for you.
00:43:25
Speaker
Sell her.
00:43:26
Speaker
He does a great job of selling me.
00:43:30
Speaker
I got great fulfillment.
00:43:32
Speaker
We're a full EPC over here.
00:43:34
Speaker
So we install the pants.
00:43:37
Speaker
So I think that, because if you don't, right, you're afraid to ask.
00:43:42
Speaker
And so she falls asleep.
00:43:44
Speaker
You still have.
00:43:45
Speaker
So then most guys will turn to the phone or turn to that website, right?
00:43:50
Speaker
She finds out.
00:43:51
Speaker
She thinks that you don't love her.
00:43:53
Speaker
You don't think she's beautiful.
00:43:54
Speaker
And you don't think, which you don't.
00:43:55
Speaker
It has nothing to do with that, right?
00:43:57
Speaker
And again, I am literally talking about what I heard just this week from a friend of mine.
00:44:02
Speaker
And this cycle started and then she thinks that he doesn't love her.
00:44:05
Speaker
And I'm like, holy smokes, man.
00:44:07
Speaker
Like, did you just tell her?
00:44:09
Speaker
Did you just tell her that?
00:44:11
Speaker
He's like, no, I just, and I was like, man, like,
00:44:15
Speaker
Let's talk about, address the issue, let her know there's a problem, and sell it.
00:44:22
Speaker
Let her know how to, here's a solution, and I'll reciprocate it.
00:44:25
Speaker
So I think it's a lot easier than people make it, but it's way more complicated after 17 years
00:44:32
Speaker
10 years, five or three years of stories and garbage.
00:44:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:36
Speaker
So that's why it's super touch and go.
00:44:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:38
Speaker
So it's just so funny.
00:44:39
Speaker
We'll ask for a solar cell all day long, but we won't.
00:44:43
Speaker
Right.
00:44:43
Speaker
Ask for your wife or, hey, let's connect.
00:44:45
Speaker
Which is actually my favorite thing.
00:44:47
Speaker
There's a story of like you ask your wife to go make a turkey sandwich because you're hungry.
00:44:51
Speaker
And she's like, well, I'm not really hungry.
00:44:52
Speaker
And you're like, well, please make me a sandwich.
00:44:54
Speaker
And she's like, okay.
00:44:54
Speaker
So she starts making your sandwich.
00:44:56
Speaker
She makes your sandwich and then she's like, oh, that actually smells really good.
00:44:58
Speaker
And you offer her a bite.
00:44:59
Speaker
She's like, yeah, I actually want a bite.
00:45:01
Speaker
She ends up wanting a turkey sandwich too.
00:45:03
Speaker
So it's a win-win.
00:45:04
Speaker
Two turkey sandwiches.
00:45:06
Speaker
So is there two turkey sandwiches or did we cut it in half?
00:45:09
Speaker
We're going to have to cut it in half.
00:45:10
Speaker
No, I don't want to make that.
00:45:12
Speaker
Because what will happen is she'll actually eat mine.
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah, I will probably eat yours.
00:45:15
Speaker
Then I'll make the turkey sandwich.
00:45:19
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:45:20
Speaker
Well, speaking of turkey sandwiches, I know you guys, we're getting close to dinner, so I don't want to take your whole night here.
00:45:25
Speaker
But just to kind of like wrap up, and we can probably do another podcast more focused on recruiting.
00:45:31
Speaker
Brandon, because I know we are.
00:45:33
Speaker
This is the best recruiting podcast you're ever going to have.
00:45:37
Speaker
Because this is Recruiting 101.
00:45:41
Speaker
If you don't know the psychology of the person you're talking to, if you can't tap into the person and you can't deliver and you can't ask and you can't read the situation, you're not going to be a recruiter.
00:45:50
Speaker
So again, like she said, you can sell solar, you can ask, you can sell the people, you can ask.
00:45:55
Speaker
But if you're not willing to invest and over-fulfill and give
00:46:00
Speaker
execute on your commitments and do the dirty work and set expectations.
00:46:05
Speaker
These are all the same principles I would have given you about recruiting.
Recruitment and Personal Relationships
00:46:09
Speaker
This is, this is a recruiting podcast.
00:46:11
Speaker
You're just recruiting your wife to go, to go have a, to go, to go, to go be your stripper.
00:46:17
Speaker
And I, and that's, that sounds crude, but that came out of her mouth.
00:46:20
Speaker
So it's, and it's not because it is, it is absolutely beautiful when it's in the right setting.
00:46:26
Speaker
no it's true everything in life is a sell pretty much recruiting it's all recruiting and sales it is you guys showed that so no we appreciate you guys and so if people want to you know connect more with both of you and uh i don't know get more relationship advice or recruiting yeah all that jazz where can they uh reach out and connect with you so my instagram is b homes.life it's b homes.life and on tiktok i'm
00:46:51
Speaker
the b print dot or yeah the b print dot life and she's ms liz holmes ms liz holmes on instagram and then i also have a podcast called doors to success on all platforms apple spotify so doors to success uh b homes dot life and ms liz holmes on instagram okay
00:47:15
Speaker
Well, go shoot them a follow, and most importantly, reach out to Liz.
00:47:19
Speaker
Let her know you appreciate her for all this stuff.
00:47:22
Speaker
Thanks so much.
00:47:23
Speaker
You're so patient.
00:47:24
Speaker
Yeah, and you guys help me a lot, so I'm definitely shooting this to my wife.
00:47:28
Speaker
She's going to love the podcast.
00:47:29
Speaker
Taylor, good luck on that ass tonight, big dog.
00:47:31
Speaker
Thanks.
00:47:33
Speaker
Well, she's in California.
00:47:35
Speaker
Hey, that's why there's...
00:47:38
Speaker
I don't know.
00:47:38
Speaker
She's in California.
00:47:40
Speaker
Yeah, FaceTime.
00:47:41
Speaker
FaceTime, that's her favorite thing.
00:47:42
Speaker
That's true, that's true.
00:47:43
Speaker
All right, man.
00:47:43
Speaker
Okay, guys, well, appreciate it.
00:47:45
Speaker
Reach out to them.
00:47:45
Speaker
Let them know you appreciate them.
00:47:47
Speaker
And, yeah, go check out Brandon's podcast.
00:47:49
Speaker
And thanks again for coming on the show, guys.
00:47:51
Speaker
We'll talk soon.
00:47:51
Speaker
Thanks to you.
00:47:53
Speaker
What's up, solopreneurs?
00:47:54
Speaker
Hope you enjoyed the episode.
00:47:56
Speaker
Before you run out and start selling more solar yourself, wanted to let you know about an exciting new cheat sheet we created specifically for you in mind.
00:48:06
Speaker
One of the top questions I get asked on Instagram, on Facebook, by our listeners is, Taylor, where should I start?
00:48:14
Speaker
What episodes should I listen to in the podcast?
00:48:16
Speaker
You got too many podcasts, man, because now we have over 200 episodes.
00:48:21
Speaker
So what we've done, we created the top 10 most downloaded, most listened to, and I would say widely accepted, most useful podcasts that we've done here on Solarpreneur.
00:48:34
Speaker
We put them together all in one sheet so you can go, you can hit the ground running, especially if you're new, you do not want to not have this sheet.
00:48:43
Speaker
So go download it right now.
00:48:45
Speaker
It's going to be at top10.solarpreneurs.com.
00:48:49
Speaker
Again, that's top10, the number 10,.solarpreneurs.com.
00:48:54
Speaker
Don't forget the S on solarpreneurs.
00:48:56
Speaker
We will have that in the show notes.
00:48:58
Speaker
Go download it right now.
00:49:00
Speaker
And especially if you have not listened to them, go listen to them and you can re-listen to them.
00:49:05
Speaker
That's going to show you how.
00:49:07
Speaker
So go download it and we'll see you on the other side.