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The Wages of Joy - Pt 2
99 Plays1 year ago
The Fixer and his companions are up to their necks in it on Joybilant! The Happiest Place in the Galaxy has taken a turn for the worse with broken rides, a family of half-starved Tompson-Jonsons, and *infectious zombie mascots*!
Our brave Time Lord needs to find a solution and *fast*, before the jaws snap shut on a planet-sized deathtrap in part two of The Wages of Joy!
Enjoy thrills, chills, and laughs galore with Brand Osorio, Cate MacCoyne, and Pandora Beatrix, and GM Casey Jones. Stick around afterward for interviews with the players and our special guest star, AE Jones. You’re in for a fantastic time!
Music by Tabletop Audio
Theme by RJ Pirchinello
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And if you'd like to run a game of Doctor Who of your very own, find Casey on StartPlaying!
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Transcript
Introduction and Social Media
00:00:05
Speaker
Time travel, sci-fi adventures, and risky rolls of the dice lie ahead. Hello and welcome to Anywhere But Now, a Doctor Who actual play podcast. I'm your host and GM, Casey Jones. The next hour or so holds a thrilling adventure in time and space, so let's dive in.
00:00:25
Speaker
Are you all excited? You feel that energy? I hope so, because hiding somewhere in the game is a fun surprise! Special guest star A.E. Jones! A bigger on the inside thank you to our listeners. Time is truly a gift. Or it wouldn't be the present.
00:00:41
Speaker
We thank you for spending yours with us. If you like what you hear, follow us on Twitter at anywherebutnow underscore at the end. Links to everything in the doobly-doo. Stick around after the game for interviews with the players. Brought to you wherever you're listening in time and space. This is Anywhere But Now.
Welcome to Joybellant
00:01:02
Speaker
Previously on Anywhere But Now... You have ID'd the location as Joybellant, the funnest place in the galaxy. Attractions and rides of all shapes and sizes tease the horizon, every which way you look. Happy families and couples mill through the park. The air is rich with the smell of cotton candy and popcorn. It's a brilliant, warm, sunny day with a ghastly a cloud in the sky. Welcome all! Welcome to the land where dreams come true!
00:01:31
Speaker
The helper bot holds out a hand, a little beeper materialized. If you have any questions or need any help, just get me a beep. Pick a Flower Pete holds out plastic white daisies and says, pretty flower or a pretty lady? Oh, thank you so much. This is lovely. And I take the flowers and I took one behind my ear.
00:01:55
Speaker
Beyond the tchotchkes and the snow globes, you eventually get to a couple of racks of shirts with slogans on them that have been rifled through. Below them are a tattered pile of ratty, dirty laundry. Most of the t-shirts read Thompson-Johnson reunion tour.
00:02:15
Speaker
You tap the person on the shoulder, but they turn, don't recognize you, and go back to conversation. They're not saying anything. They're just... Walla Walla. Walla Walla. Walla Walla.
The Filthy Man Chase
00:02:30
Speaker
You get to the front of the coaster coaster, the roller coaster runs through, does not stop, people materialize on the far side looking like they've just had a great time as the next group of people get on to the tracks and disappear.
00:02:46
Speaker
You throw out your sonic stylus and wave it across. A handful of people turn transparent and you can see right through them. And in that window you see an absolutely filthy man in a sweat-caked t-shirt and he turns and he cheeses it.
00:03:07
Speaker
All three of you managed to keep eyes on him as he slips past a wide, big Las Vegas-style fountain that is just shooting water up gallons per second. I was gonna yell to Juneau the dog. Hey, that guy needs cleaning! It's the custodian's code, I assume!
00:03:28
Speaker
Juno the dog turns to you and then follows your point of view to the man on the far side of the fountain. The guy who's like, what are you doing? No! As Juno the dog goes.
00:03:49
Speaker
The beying echoes across the park. That is not just a man in a mascot costume. Your Sonic is seeing technology, not a person. And that technology just sent a command, come and get him.
00:04:08
Speaker
The fixer, the auditor help gets Maeve into the shed behind Calamity as a handful of panicking Thompson-Jompsons shut the door behind
Pick a Flower Pete
00:04:21
Speaker
you. Maeve, you are feeling weak. What is, why am I out of shape? Brillbo Thompson-Jompson, the scraggly guy you followed here slowly raises a finger. Where did you get that flower in your hair?
00:04:38
Speaker
It was given to me, what was his name? Pete? Pick a flower, Pete! The entire group gasps in unison and backs up. You tug at the plastic flowers in your hair, but trying to pull them away hurts.
00:04:54
Speaker
you get your sonic close enough to the flowers in her hair the scan reads chula nano jeans just before the sonic reports they can't do anything brandma thompson jompson looks very waxy and very wan her cheeks start to inflate
00:05:14
Speaker
as she goes rigid as yellow fabric stretches out and a little straw hat materializes out of her crown as she sits up as a pick a flower peat pretty flower or pretty lady
00:06:08
Speaker
And we're back! Okay, monsters to the left of you, monsters to the right. Here we are, stuck in the middle with you and half a dozen sweaty Thompson Jomsons. Everything's going great. This is fine. So the Thompson Jomsons are kind of panicking and starting to flip out. We are now in a action sequence. So do we have any talkers in this round?
00:06:31
Speaker
Yes. Is there anyone other way out of here? Despite the logic of that wonderful question, it's like trying to herd cats that already have their hackles up and feather dust your tail. I would like you to give me a presence and convince role, and I will roll for the collective Thompson-Jompsons. And after this, we are going to be dealing immediately with our first fear factor of the episode. Fixer, please roll presence and convince.
00:06:57
Speaker
Absolutely. And you are at a disadvantage because of a creepy, creepy, great flower for a pretty lady coming at you from the floor. Which is frankly quite terrifying. That is quite terrifying. Dang it. And I just rolled two dice and I got a great roll on it. Okay. I'll roll two and three dice. We're looking at a five and a six. So we are looking at a 16.
00:07:23
Speaker
a 16 is actually going to cut it right now because the Thompson-Jompsons collectively rolled horribly. Guess who got a snake eyes? They are completely struck. That was the cold sharp shock they needed. So one of them, Bradley Thompson-Jompson, snaps out of it, looks past you to the wall.
00:07:44
Speaker
Meanwhile, the freshly minted picoflower Pete, who is now sitting up and slowly rising to its feet, fistful of posies that it can't wait to offer everybody, is actively trying to control you with intimidation. Your resolve and ingenuity versus the resolve and presence and the fear factor of these lovely creatures.
00:08:07
Speaker
The number to beat to keep your wits about you is 14. Maeve, you are at a disadvantage. This is your future sitting up and reaching for you. That's gonna be a three and a six for a 17.
Escape from Mascots
00:08:22
Speaker
A 17, and that's with disadvantage? Yeah, with resolving ingenuity, yeah.
00:08:27
Speaker
Reporters get it done. That's great. Auditor also rolling at a disadvantage. Got snake eyes, so he's just frozen solid behind you. God bless that coward. Calamity, what did you roll? Calamity has a 10, unfortunately.
00:08:40
Speaker
This is clearly not an exercise. This is not a show. This is not an escape route simulation that has gotten out of hand. This is genuine terror. Calamity is basically just trying to either get out or you can spend two story points to quietly keeping your wits about you. I'll spend the story points to be able to act normally.
00:09:01
Speaker
Now we're rolling for the Thompson-Jompsons who have just watched brand maw finally succumb the pretty, pretty flowers. The worst of those two is a five. They are likewise just... Ah! Ah! Brilbo Thompson-Jompson grabs a mop by the business end and just starts swinging to try and keep
00:09:22
Speaker
Brandma Pick a Flower from getting any closer. That is going to be his attack round at the end of this as Brandma Pick a Flower Pete tries to get closer. She gets a step closer because everybody's too scared. Let's see how Brillbo does with that mop. That is a three. Let's see what Pick a Flower Pete's response time is.
00:09:44
Speaker
Oh no. So she rolled a 10, double fives. As Brillbo is just swinging wildly, Pick a Flower Pete, never dropping the flowers, catches the mop handle in the other hand, and yoinks hard. Brillbo does not let go of the mop in time and gets a face full of flowers from Pick a Flower Pete, Branmaw.
00:10:09
Speaker
So at the top of the round, Bradley Thompson-Johnson is ripping away at the wall. My main goal is going to be to get Maeve up off the ground and through that hole that Bradley's making.
00:10:22
Speaker
Yeah, I believe I still have a sprained ankle for like another half an hour. So I'm just going to be like, get me out, get me out. Yes, that's delightful. Bradley Thompson-Johnson shoves one of these maintenance closets aside and behind it is an entire hatch that is approximately a person and a half wide. The button has been jury rigged with a paperclip and a piece of Snackems wrapper.
00:10:50
Speaker
and the door hisses open. Bradley turns. Without needing to be told, the Thompson-Jompsons cheese it for the doorway. Starts to make a bottleneck of it.
00:11:04
Speaker
Well, given that the fixer is helping Maeve, I think Calamity is going to use her self-rinsing mop to just try to hold the pick a flower piece at bay, trying to keep it back. Give me a coordination and intuition roll, please. And add two for your mop. That is a 13. Nothing special on the dice.
00:11:27
Speaker
That is a four for Grandma. Given that her strength is only a two as any kind of a mascot and her coordination is even worse, you successfully keep her at bay.
00:11:40
Speaker
Unfortunately, Brillbo is still stuck with a face full of flowers. Stuck where he's standing. Face full of plastic flowers. So that's a fun visual. Let's take a, I'm sorry, a coordination roll. Since Maeve is at a disadvantage, but she's actively being helped by the Fixer, that's gonna wash. So the two of you roll normally. Calamity. I was holding, I was holding off the pick of flower Pete.
00:12:05
Speaker
The auditor is going to spend two story points and make himself actually useful. So with a nine on the dice, the Thompson-Johnson's kind of made a bottleneck mess of it, but the auditor has helped steer them out of the door to clear enough for Fixer to help Maeve get there. Well, Calamity is just sort of indefinitely, you know, trying to do a holding action here so that she can be the last out assuming that flower face person's not coming, which is what she's assuming at this point.
00:12:35
Speaker
Brilbo Thompson-Johnson has seen better days. Once we get Maeve through the door, I definitely want us to help Calamity through the door and then close that door as quickly as possible before Pick a Flower Pete can toss more flowers through the door, as it were. Yeah, on the way to the door, is there anything I can grab with my free hand that could be like thrown as like a missile?
00:12:57
Speaker
Yes, yes, you can, Bradley threw aside the poster and knocked over the pantry. You can make a desperate grab. You're gonna be at a minus two because you're already doing something else, but you can scramble and try and throw like a bottle of cleaner at the floor. I just wanna grab it for now. And then as we're getting ready to close the door, I'm gonna have a missile ready in my hand to try to repel a grandma there.
00:13:23
Speaker
Wonderful companion thinking. At a story point for thinking on your feet, roll coordination. You are at minus two because you're already doing something. Okay, so that's double ones, but what would you give me for a story point? Or two? Double ones is taking a header into the collapsed pantry and the concussion.
00:13:41
Speaker
Spending a story point is bruising your hands. Nope, tried it. Cat didn't get it. Spending two story points would allow you to like grab it. That's a yes, but. So yes, you grab a bottle of cleanser, but it takes a little something out of you to be doing a lot. Oh, I'm going to do it.
00:14:02
Speaker
Yeah, so here's what's gonna happen. In your mind space, picture a blank, empty, comfortable void and little plastic posies start sprouting out of the ground. Not a lot, but here's a posy and here's a posy and here's a posy.
00:14:22
Speaker
You now have posies on your mind. You are going to be at a minus one to awareness because you are distracted now by the flowers in your hair and the posies on your mind. I will check in. Does that sound extraneous? Does that sound fair? I am good here. Let's go. Okay, beautiful. Fixer, give me a coordination role to be helping this person who is surprising you halfway out the door by trying to grab at something that was not on the way.
00:14:49
Speaker
Well, with just coordination by itself, I got a four and a three on the dice, and I have a three coordination, so that brings me up to a total of 10. Okay, throw athletics on there. Big 12. Okay, to keep things moving, it is not a smooth transition, but you do help this person out the doorway. Maeve, are you okay? I thought I saw a flower, but it's gonna be okay, right? Resist the flowers. Resist the flowers.
00:15:17
Speaker
I'm never looking at another one again if we get out of here. Calamity, give me a coordination check to be backing out the door with the mop.
00:15:27
Speaker
If it's just coordination by itself, probably some story points are gonna come into play because that's not gonna happen. Do you have any points in athletics? I do, I've won. Well, so that's a 12 and one of the nice is a six. Yes, you successfully manage to back out the door and give an extra little shove on the end of the handle to push Brandma back against Brillbo and the Picaflour Pete's do a little soft shoe vaudeville trying to catch each other from falling over.
00:15:56
Speaker
The door slides shut on that grisly slapstick as the auditor quickly snaps their sonic compass against the hatch and kisses it an extra level of locket-ness.
Rewriting Nano Genes
00:16:11
Speaker
Okay, this is a chance to catch your breaths. You are all now in the service tunnel that is immediately beneath the park itself. The hatch in front of you has a diagram
00:16:25
Speaker
You all are presently right here where the arrow is indicating. The remaining Thompson-Johnson's are huddled and hugging each other and they are keeping the heck away from Maeve who has the flower in her hair and now the plastic stamp is starting to twirl into her hair like it's been made as like a tiara, only it is not coming out.
00:16:52
Speaker
I believe my Sonic is disabled from that and interacting with this Chula nanogenes. Unfortunately, what we need to do is we need to find a place where the staffers here control the hollow emitters for this facility. If so, we might be able to use that to rewrite the Chula nanogenes. And if we can, maybe we can get them to do an internal search on the genetic structure of the people they're converting to convert back to that original form.
00:17:19
Speaker
I don't think as my Sonic is sparking in my hand, this will accomplish it. Beautiful technobabble. At a story point to your proceedings, Bradley steps forward like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody's going anywhere with anyone about any chula nano nonsense. Good luck with those hollow emitters, okay? It's been bright and sunny for three weeks straight. Yes. And there's got to be some way that the people who are in charge of this park control them.
00:17:48
Speaker
Right, so this place, it's not like a flower, it's like a trap. So where do they not want us to go? He strokes his chin as Brenba Thompson-Johnson peeks her head out and says, We haven't been able to get into the employees lounge in ages. We thought there might have been some food in there, but that was one of the places we couldn't get to because we're not staff, we couldn't take the locks. Luckily for us, we actually have a staff member with us.
00:18:17
Speaker
Oh yes, it's true. I work here. It's been kind of a rough day, honestly. As first days go, there's been some bubbles. It's not that bad. I've had worse.
00:18:25
Speaker
You are currently in a wide concrete tunnel that is lit overhead.
Service Tunnels Exploration
00:18:30
Speaker
The tunnels run under the entire park. Pipes and thick cables run against the tunnel walls off in either direction. The hatches, like the one you just stepped out of, do not open or close by themselves. One of the Thompson-Johnson's points that out. So if you use one, make sure you shut it behind you. At their widest, the tunnels can accommodate three.
00:18:54
Speaker
It is very easy to get around, and arrows point to every direction. To the employee's lounge! Fun trivia bit. The auditor might just be babbling trivia to try and calm down after the nigh horrifying experience of almost getting pick a flowered. Ugh! Ugh! Pick a flowered! Ugh! Um.
00:19:14
Speaker
Talking about did you know that in the ancient times of the Disney era they actually would organize these locations in a real formation so that one could reach everything else at any time and without the risk of getting lost. Lines of sight are so convenient.
00:19:27
Speaker
It also seems to make sure that the customer is trapped in an endless loop of going from location to location to location until their entire day is spent. Fixer and calamity since Maeve has other things on their mind. Give me an ingenuity roll, please, with intuition since you're down here and you're making your way through the under park. Ooh, that sounds grisly too. The under park. I've got a 13 with nothing special. Fixer any better than 13?
00:19:55
Speaker
Excellent, we're looking at a 15 with a 4 and a 5 on the dice. You're looking around as you guys are walking along when the hatch shut behind you. What you're hearing down here is not carnival music, is not the laughter of strangers or the walla walla of holographic background extras.
00:20:14
Speaker
You hear the very faint crackle of well-maintained electrical lines running against the walls and the quiet gush of pipes continuing to run the water to the fountains, splash pools between the various park islands. This place is using a ton of power.
00:20:35
Speaker
You guys walk under a hatch labeled haunted laboratory, and the Thompson-Johnson's keep their distance from the door. What did you see in there, Bradley?
00:20:47
Speaker
One of the first things they wanted to go on when they got here was the haunted lab. Braxper's been looking forward to it. Unfortunately, the wolf man got out of his chains and got too close, tackling one of the Thompson-Jompsons. That was the last time they saw her. As we're walking, I wanted to ask the auditor, you know, just out of curiosity, how did this get resolved, like, the last time? The auditor's gonna roll and knowledge roll? Yeah.
00:21:16
Speaker
Okay, that's a six on the dice, that's not bad. The auditor quietly talks about a Blitzkrieg scenario where nanogenes got loose and quickly tried to heal everything in the vicinity by rewriting it. The only way they were able to resolve things was by finding the original container and
00:21:41
Speaker
basically essentially sending new commands to those machines, but that was difficult under the best circumstances, and these are not the best of circumstances. As he says that last bit, Maeve goes, not helping! But they look very pretty. Thank you, Calamity. It's coming in nicely. Bright side, you know. Maeve, you're gonna be okay. We're not gonna let anything happen. Yeah, well, if something does, you're not putting me in that little book of yours.
00:22:12
Speaker
Mave, Calamity, and Fixer all take one story point for an absolutely beautiful scene. Before Fixer can come up with a response, you reach the next hatch marked employees only. While other accesses had been jury rigged with candy bar wrappers and paper clips, this entrance access panel is clean. The reader is just the size of that little card you've got.
00:22:40
Speaker
Nice. I will use my employee badge then and see if that works. You hold your badge up to the reader and it goes...
00:22:54
Speaker
The door in front of you hisses open. You get in and reach a locker room where employees can unwind. There is a semi-large stockpile of Snack'em's brand food here in pallets. And they have all little cute red and gold foil wrappers on them. Beside them is an open travel valise of gourmet cat food cans.
00:23:21
Speaker
It is the utter 1% of 1% fanciest of feasts. Two thirds of the supply that's been brought along has been gotten through as a small mountain of cat food cannons have been stacked into a little mansion over in the corner. You see a bowl on the floor and a china plate on a table next to it and they appear to have crumbs of the exact same cat food.
00:23:46
Speaker
as around the corner comes a six-foot tall NPC that should introduce themselves. Hello, are you an employee? I need help. I mean, I am. Wonderful. Oh, the help. What seems to be the problem? I'm sorry, I thought you were the help. Have you not looked around you? I haven't had any help, and now I do.
00:24:09
Speaker
Standing in front of you is a six foot tall cat person. In one arm is a tiny pillow and on that tiny pillow is a gently resting purple kitten. The auditor just leans an inch over towards the fixer and is like, you also saw the cat person. I'm not hallucinating out of sheer terror right now.
00:24:34
Speaker
Yeah, I could use a assurance that I'm not hallucinating either. Oh no, darling. How could you not know I'm Pitsy Fencington? Pitsy Fencington, one of the top three most rich people in all the universe. Hello, Pitsy's book, see? Hello. Whoopsie! Hi there. I'm sorry, what? What are you doing here? How did you get here? I'm a shareholder, darling. I go everywhere. A shareholder for Joybellant?
00:25:02
Speaker
Joyblint, please. I'm a Snacom stockholder. Oh. Well, that's nice. Snacoms are great. The floor is littered with torn open wrappers of Snacoms brand wrappers. The place has not been cleaned in weeks.
Kitsy Fancington's Locker Room
00:25:23
Speaker
I didn't have him.
00:25:25
Speaker
There are showers, washing machines, and dryers for mascot costumes in here. There is also a large mauve cylinder the size of an iron lung. It has some laser etching on it by the control plate, and a mascot suit hangs on a hook in an open locker halfway towards the showers.
00:25:49
Speaker
Unlike the Thompson-Jompsons, who have immediately torn into the available the Snack'em's food, Brixby even eyes the cat food, but, uh, Moopsie hisses. The one thing this place does not smell like is wet cat. It appears that both Moopsie and Miss Fancington have been grooming themselves for the last however long they've been here. Oh good! Was the name Miss Fancington?
00:26:17
Speaker
Yes, darling, Kitsy Fancington, 14th clone of Bitsy Fancington, the third cat kind. Quite a lineage. Oh, thank you, darling. I like you already. Maeve, it has been half an hour. Your ankle is no longer in need of quite so much delicate nursing. However, it has been half an hour. So I need you to roll your diminished resolve and strength for me, please. That is a five and a one for a 13.
00:26:45
Speaker
Calamity you've never been in a locker room for mascots and theme park employees before But you got a pass it seems like this we should probably do some cleaning in here I do I do have a mop and I have a grabby tool so I can just stop grabbing a lot of this trash and just at least knocking that out and
00:27:06
Speaker
You take your grabber, clack clack, and a convenient loose trash bag, because why not? And picking garbage up off the floor. Some cans have been left on the mauve tank thing. And as you move off to do that, and as Miss Fancington and the Fixer are talking, their voices fade into the background. And on Maeve, this tune gets a little louder.
00:27:34
Speaker
Flowers, flowers of the forgotten forest. It's just getting a little louder in the back of your head, like some calliope machine on tank treads that's two blocks away, rolling closer. Flowers, flowers, oh, oh, oh.
00:27:56
Speaker
I think Maeve just starts lurching around this room looking for anything that looks Chula-ish. Not that she would even know what that is, but it's just like, oh god, this is happening too fast. What is your current awareness? We're at a three. A three for awareness and a four for ingenuity. Give me an awareness and intuition. We're going to lean into intuition here. And you are at an advantage.
00:28:26
Speaker
And you forgot the forest.
00:28:29
Speaker
So that's gonna be a four and a two for a 12, and I'll spend a story point if I need to. No, you don't need to spend a story point here. You think the thought chula nano jeans, and the music in your mind just feel this little tug on your hairline, and it turns your head towards the iron lung machine. You feel better the closer you get standing to that thing, closer to home. I walk up to it.
00:28:59
Speaker
Did we notice Maeve walk up to the big, strange looking device? Evens or odds, Maeve? Evens. Evens? You're not humming aloud flowers, flowers for a pretty lady as you wander closer. That is odds. You out loud just start humming under your breath like. Fixer. Kitsy.
00:29:24
Speaker
Give me an awareness roll, please. And let me know the total, please, with any sixes or ones on the dice. Six and a two for eight. Okay, six on the dice is great. Eight plus your ingenuity is three, that's 11, plus another two on the skills is 13. Yeah, you're good. Yeah.
00:29:49
Speaker
The Thompson Johnsons, one of them just turns with a mouthful of candy bar. Fixer! Turn to, uh, Miss Fancington and ask, uh, Miss Fancington, is this part of your luggage or was this here when you arrived? Oh, I always travel with my own cat food. You never know what's going to happen. Oh no, I mean the giant, uh, tube, uh, lung thing.
00:30:11
Speaker
You know what? I couldn't do a thing with it. I totally forgot I was here. Well, then you won't mind if we... Auditor, can I borrow your assistance? We need to do a quick check on this piece of furniture.
Chula Nanogene Ambulance
00:30:23
Speaker
Kitsy, add one story point to your pile. Fixer, you successfully pull the auditor over to the giant iron lung thing. Give me an ingenuity roll, please. Plus two for Time Lord and whatever you have in technology.
00:30:39
Speaker
I'd like to use one story point just to make sure we do this right. And I ended up rolling quite nicely on this one. I got two sixes for a total of 20. With those sweet, sweet double sixes, you do the best you possibly can here. Auditor Waves, they're working Sonic.
00:31:01
Speaker
You identified it is an ambulance of Chula nanogenes. It is currently empty. Someone has taken the trouble to etch High Gallifreyan next to the control panel. And what does it say in High Gallifreyan? It reads the word poison pill. Oh, good. It was a trap. Calamity, give me an ingenuity and intuition roll, please. Do I know what this is for?
00:31:28
Speaker
You will when you roll. Miss Fancington appears to be unaffected by the nanogines. Miss Fancington has not eaten anything but her own supply of cat food since she got here. And she has not deigned to muck about with the common rabble in the streets. Ha ha, for once that actually kept someone safe. Kidney always comes out on top.
00:31:52
Speaker
So I got an 11 with a one on one of the dice. No, you don't notice anything out of the ordinary and you do spot the showers could use a quick mopping. It's kind of dank in there. Why don't you?
00:32:06
Speaker
Oh no, that sounds great. You head closer to the showers, as meanwhile at the Chula Ambulance, the Fixer, the Auditor, and a quietly humming Maeve are in front of the machine, as Kitsy is a floater to back just playing with Moobsie. Okay, then we gotta try, I'm gonna turn to the Auditor and say, we have to try to reprogram this, to use it to reprogram those nano-genes. Again, if we can somehow get them to revert back to their original form,
00:32:36
Speaker
Theoretically, that would do the least amount of damage. Calamity, uh, even Xerox. Odd, obviously. That is odd. You successfully keep the Thompson-Jompsons, because once they notice that there is actually a shower in here, they're like, oh, oh, fresh water! And they head for the showers, but you get there in front of them, stop them with your mop.
00:32:58
Speaker
Yes, no, we have to clean it first. At the ambulance. Fixer. The control panel is blinking and waiting for the password for access. As I get a little more manipulated by this thing, can I come up with anything that might feel like the password?
00:33:14
Speaker
This close to the thing that is telling the tiny things how to rewrite you is like, this is why you came along, to be close to this kind of power. But you do feel queasy. You do feel ill. The auditor turns to the fixer. The question we have to ask ourselves, number one, who would etch Gadiphan on this thing?
00:33:36
Speaker
And would they be arrogant enough to leave their password right next to it, assuming no one else could read it? There are very few Time Lords that I know that are that arrogant. Just the words, poison pill, an o'clock wise configuration of cogs, wheels within wheels, essentially. My only fear is that a trap with such an obvious key might have further traps built into it. If it's a trap, then we should just bring it right away, and then we know what we're dealing with.
00:34:04
Speaker
Calamity gets a story point for that. That's excellent Doctor Who logic. Smiley at ear, turn to Calamity and say, that is brilliant. I think this thing is just lovely. I guess we'll type in poison pill and see if the password works. Give me a coordination roll just to avoid typos and don't get a snake eyes. Five and a five on the dice for a total of 13. You successfully enter the password and then there is a little.
00:34:30
Speaker
the lock icon evaporates an array you see log history you see commands you see supply status etc it's never done that before well there's a first time for everything is the sonic too damaged to be able to uh back up this data
00:34:48
Speaker
You have unlocked this thing completely. If you wanted to reacquaint your Sonic with the base level of what this thing is programming things to do, that is worth a new roll to access the code that way if you want. Basically, I just wanted to copy the log much the way we had the last time we ran into a concerning situation. This is going to be ingenuity and technology plus two for Timelord training.
00:35:13
Speaker
Okay, we're looking at a 15 with a 5 and a 2. You access the entire stream data logs for this supply, approximately 16 billion microscopic nano genes. They were purchased in off a black market. Their original security codes have been completely scrubbed of this weapon of mass destruction.
00:35:33
Speaker
The code has been rewritten rather than trying to mend a Chula warrior. These have been broadened to include all mono-hearted bipeds available to convert them to mascots and follow the commands that those mascots are embedded with. On the screen is a helpful map of the Nanogene distribution circulating around the park.
00:36:02
Speaker
Take a quick look at the map, see if there's any specific areas where it's pooling, and then after that, immediately go into trying to reprogram the nanogenes to restore Maeve and hopefully all the other people to the original form they had. I could not ask for better lead-in. The first thing you notice is that the nanogenes are circulating fast enough around the park, they are in the pipes.
00:36:22
Speaker
Oh my. There are also concentrated dots of nano jeans around the park are clustered around the outside of the maintenance shed where they were sent by Juno the dog. But having failed in that, they have started to spread back to their initial positions on the park. Kitsy, my dear, where have you been sourcing your water?
00:36:42
Speaker
Moopsie burps and falls off of a private water recycler in a matching valise. Kitsy, your foresight, it is a revelation. Oh darling, we can hang out for quite some time. Keep it coming.
00:36:57
Speaker
On the screen, you're seeing concentrations of nanogene dots circulating in the pipes and in the mascots and in this room. Excellent. It's time to reprogram them. Hopefully we can get either the sprinkler system to activate to spread it around or use one of the fountain mechanisms or something else to disperse it.
00:37:14
Speaker
And I will happily use two points or three points. I'll use all my last story points to make this happen. We gotta save Maeve. Give me a ingenuity and technology roll and throw two on for Time Lord and for the Sonic since it's been recalimibrated now. Calamity, how's it going in the shower stalls with the mop and the water dripping? I mean, it seems pretty nice.
00:37:37
Speaker
You smell in the showers the same garlicky residue in the air that's been clinging to that popcorn smell in the air. It's like who even puts garlic on popcorn, let alone that much. It's a little excessive. Fortunately, I have a self-rinsing mop, so...
00:37:56
Speaker
As the Fixer is going through the rewritten code of these Chula Nano Jeans, Maeve, you get just the slightest rumble in your tum of indigestion and burp a little bit of garlic.
00:38:11
Speaker
How together am I at this moment? Am I putting coherent thoughts together? Yeah. Uh, did you know that arsenic and that garlicky buttery thing, those are shockingly the same and we're just inhaling a lot of it, I think right now.
00:38:27
Speaker
The word arsenic, the atomic number for it, fly by on the screen as Fixer is reading through the data. The mascots have not only been programmed to reproduce by hugging with people and getting contact and spreading the nanogenes. They have also been rewritten.
00:38:45
Speaker
to organically generate their own arsenic in a stomach, which is then vomited. Juno the dog has been mopping and other mascots have been mopping arsenic into the ground wherever you've smelled that sticky residue in the air on shiny black tarmac. At this point, if I'm able to, Maeve moves to the other side of the room, away from anybody.
00:39:12
Speaker
Maeve, don't panic, but a side effect of these chula nanogenes may be turning their host into a chemical weapon. So what you may be burping up right now is poison. But don't worry! Yeah, I'm just gonna stand over here. Yes, please do. Over there. A little bit more over there. I'm all the way over here. This is as over here as it gets.
00:39:34
Speaker
Fixer, you get to the end of the commands. According to the timestamps, these chula nanogenes were rewritten sometime in the last three months or so and left here to do their job.
Reprogramming the Nanogenes
00:39:50
Speaker
Having gone through the entire command log, you reach the point where you can enter new commands.
00:39:55
Speaker
Well, on the new command roll, we got four and a two on the dice for a total of 14. And again, I'm happy to spend as many story points as possible because we need to rescue me. And I'd like to rescue everybody else too. Add a third die because you are using your focus. This is you fixing things. This is you trying to fix. Unfortunately, that third bone only came up as a one.
00:40:17
Speaker
You spend the story point and are able to insert new commands to this chula tank, telling it to, I presume, deactivate the transformations and revert hosts to original state? Uh, yes please. You hit send, and then a little error deets. Transmission blocked. Signal interference.
00:40:39
Speaker
Okay, so is there any employee intercom system built into this room? Yes, yes there is. This is the employee's only lounge. I did scream for help over there once. Run over to that side, begin pulling out my standard tool, start pulling the panel apart. I want to hardline
00:40:55
Speaker
the signal directly into the communications network for the employees in this place. Hopefully I can at least get it to transmit through whatever radio system they're using or walkie-talkie system the employees used to have. You start working on that, working with fine tools and pulling wires and things. You realize that the nanogings themselves are wireless and having seen Juno the dog do the
00:41:21
Speaker
thing. These things are not communicating to each other by walkie-talkie. They are sending some kind of signal. Exactly. That's why I'm hoping if I can get a hold of the auditory system in this place, I can use that to amplify that same similar type of transmission. Oh, you're trying to send the rewrite code as auditory? The loudspeakers. Oh, that's wonderful. This is going to take a new role. Ingenuity and technology. Roll three dice because you're in the fixing zone.
00:41:48
Speaker
Nice! We got a 3, a 6, and a 3 on the dice for a total of 18. Here is what happens. With the auditor's Sonic in one hand and the fixer's own Sonic in the other, he stretches between Nanogene Ambulance and the speaker intercom and hits them both. And there's this syncopation of the Sonic signals, and then you hear
00:42:15
Speaker
Maeve, often her own little world as posies have continued to poke up through her mind's eye. The lullaby of flowers, flowers is choked out by this whine of signal that eventually overtakes the lullaby completely until it's just static and then the static starts to clear and all these little plastic posies in your mind's eye just start disintegrating.
00:42:43
Speaker
Your head starts to clear. That is... much better.
00:42:51
Speaker
cut to across the park as mascots in the haunted labs hoot the owl in the carousel court they're all returning to their original points when that sound replaces the colliding music going on non-stop in the park every single mascot that's here just starts shaking uncontrollably and then falling to their knees
00:43:16
Speaker
the owl reaches up with trembling wings and pulls the owl's head off and there is this malnourished, freaked out, ordinary human underneath the head. You have successfully cured him and cut to the Frankenstein's monster who plucks off that giant green head of his and it's another person caked in sweat and not feeling great but confused and Brandma Thompson-Johnson and Bricksby Thompson-Johnson in the
00:43:44
Speaker
maintenance shed just standing together holding hands and drop their arms and lift their heads and pull the pick a flower peat giant plastic heads off and it's a very confused brand ma and Braxby. Fixer and Maeve, a story point for the both of you for hatching a completely new way of topping the chula nano jeans. Bravo!
00:44:10
Speaker
I take the posy out of my hair and I throw it on the ground and I stomp on it. It breaks with a really satisfying crunch fixer. The screen behind you reads that the nano jeans have responded to the audio signal. The larger interference is still running. Turn to Maeve with what should be a really happy look on my face, but I do not. Instead, I look very, very concerned. Maeve, do you feel okay?
00:44:39
Speaker
Much better. What did you do? I reprogrammed the nanogenes, but what concerns me is there's something causing interference throughout this facility. Whoever left this obviously did not leave this as their primary trap. This is designed to keep someone busy, this is designed to keep someone distracted, but the fact that they left the, or were arrogant enough to leave the password on the outside tells me this is just designed to waste time.
00:45:02
Speaker
The auditor steps over to the intercom. Hello, this is your park auditor speaking. Would all mascots please report a quick fix time repair near the box office. Thank you. And just clicks. We need to get out of here. Excellent. Kitsy. Yes, Dad. We would be honored if we could have the opportunity to personally chauffeur you to wherever you need to go. Is Moobsie coming? Oh, but of course.
00:45:32
Speaker
We'll go wherever you lead, darling. Calamity, you have successfully cleaned up as much of the garlicky smell of the showers as can be washed away, and the drip, drip, drip that follows smells a lot cleaner. The smallest Thompson Johnson just says, can I have a shower now? Oh, yes, no, it should be all set now. Go to it. Enjoy the showers. What a help.
00:45:57
Speaker
Brenba has been bribed into packing up the remaining cat food cans in the Belize because they are part of a matched set. And Brenba is now just trailing along with the two matched bags. Careful with youth. Careful.
00:46:10
Speaker
The Thompson-Johnson's are complaining about the awful sleep, how they haven't seen the night in weeks because the sun and the music and everything else has just been going non-stop. And it is at this point that you guys realize that there is no outdoor access from employees only.
00:46:31
Speaker
Like a lot of theme parks, where the employees can go, the entrances to those are camouflaged so the casual guests do not have to think about them. Outside, rummaging around the holographic guests are some very confused ex-maskots as they're just trying to make their way through the park. You re-enter the tunnels.
00:46:54
Speaker
Fixer, because your Sonic been able to bounce that audio signal across the entire park, your Sonic is now triangulating against the interference of the signal that made broadcasting the Wi-Fi-wise impossible. And it looks like you are actually very close to the source of that signal as you guys make your way back in the under tunnels of the park.
00:47:19
Speaker
So you're saying we're passing by the source of what's jamming us. Based on the hot and cold beeps you're getting from your Sonic, you are right underneath whatever is responsible. Now, for safety's sake, I would prefer to get all of you somewhere I know that you're going to be safe, but I... Oh, curiosity is killing me right now. Well, I'm not going, so if you're going to check it out, I'm going with you.
00:47:41
Speaker
Where is Maeve not going? Not going back to the TARDIS. It does seem like leaving whatever did cause this, undelt with, means that they could just cause it again. I mean, while that would be interesting, it's not great for other people, I guess. It was something, the buddy system? Yeah, we're not leaving. I can't allow a shareholder's good name to be just besmirched like this. We must know the source.
00:48:08
Speaker
The Thompson-Johnson's stomp their feet. Thompson-Johnson's buddy up! The six that you have with you, they take a hand. Know where your buddy is! I never want to go anywhere with people.
00:48:25
Speaker
Outside the access port to general management, the Thompson-Johnson's are like, yeah, no, absolutely not. We tried getting in there plenty of times. They look to each other and trade talk and like, we're going to bounce out the fun house and meet you topside. Thompson-Johnson's out! Would you mind taking the release and everything with you? It is matching set. Brenba looks to Kitsy, who is now her sponsor.
00:48:49
Speaker
Darling, run the luggage back to where it's supposed to be and sit, but not on it. And you'll wash your hands afterwards. Yes, miss. Like it comes out before she thinks to say it, and she walks off with your beliefs. You are at the access ports to general management. It is currently shut and locked. I presume that somebody's got to sweep in there. So we should just give the badges shot. Maybe it still works even here. It says access denied. Insufficient access.
00:49:19
Speaker
just be really filthy in there. The custodians can't go in. I have a specialization in intrusion. Can I figure out how to get into this space that I'm obviously not supposed to be in? Can I see anything? The light is not great down here. It is artificial light. In a little bronze plaque that is embossed above the access panel, it reads in English and high Gallifreyan, stockholders only.
00:49:46
Speaker
Oh! Oh, that's me! Yes, I'm a stockholder, and what she hands over is a solid platinum card, and in Diamonds reads, stockholder. And it has the Snackums logo etched on the other side. I just look at it for a second, and then, you know, weirder things have happened today, and then I just scan it.
00:50:10
Speaker
You hold it up against the access panel and it reads, and a little spa trill plays off the speaker as the door hiss is open.
00:50:23
Speaker
Come along, whoopsie. Whoopsie, whoopsie, whoopsie. I will give back the stockholder card. Thank you, darling. I always seem to keep losing these. I wonder why. They're so worthless, you know. And I put them back in a purse that's just stuffed with them. And there's a whole bunch of other logos on them.
Victor's Influence and Park's Downfall
00:50:45
Speaker
Try to quickly look through the logos and see if I recognize any of the logos from our previous adventures.
00:50:50
Speaker
The Snackems logo on the card is in Boston High Gallifrein. There's a lot of the Snackems stuff around, isn't there? I didn't get into the top three by buying lesser companies.
00:51:03
Speaker
You guys press into the building. Past the tunnels, the office has been ransacked. Through double doors, you're on the fourth floor or higher, looking over the park. From here, you see everything through floor to ceiling windows. It is an old building, complete with sprinklers instead of an updated fire suppression system. Furniture has been knocked about, searched for anything edible, before building security eventually locked out everyone. Portraits of Wiz Dalton and his descendants line the wall.
00:51:31
Speaker
As we look at the faces of Wiz Dalton and his family, I'm going to turn to Calamity and say, so would you say top 10 jobs you've had of all time or top five? Well, I couldn't decide completely yet because I haven't been paid. You know, that's a big part of it. Everything else has been been not too bad, honestly. I mean, the mobbing is fine and it's an excellent mob. And I like the jumpsuit. The jumpsuit is very you. The poison is that's not great. But, you know, I didn't get any on me.
00:52:00
Speaker
No, you're completely clean, and the Chulanana genes have been rendered inert. Portraits of Wiz Dalton and his descendants line the wall. The man himself was barrel-chested, cherry-cheeked, and full of joy. Frame by frame, his descendants get thinner, and the smiles on their cheeks get smaller. The last portrait's CEO looks nothing like the others at all, a trim gentleman in a suit and vest,
00:52:25
Speaker
with salt and pepper beard. In this office is a mahogany desk with an inlaid computer system. Maeve, what kind of story points do you have right now? I have so many. I have 10 story points right now. Good lord! You keep giving them to me, but then I haven't been able to spend them because I've been too, uh, managing.
00:52:50
Speaker
If you were willing to spend two story points, you could have an idea. I will spend two story points. Your pocket reporter is not just a device that allows you to transmit your stories, but you can also check the data bank that's on your device. You could see if there have been joyblant stories in the news before that would explain what happened to what was once the funnest place in the galaxy.
00:53:16
Speaker
Okay, pull out my note taker, exclamation point. I'm going to look for any mentions of Joy Bolent in the news. You do a quick search of your records and find headlines from the new space Toledo Chronicle over the last several decades. Item, ghost or crash, injures dozens, hard day for Joy Bolent. A photo of guests being ushered away by helper bots and a dark haired mechanic with his back to the camera talks to Wiz Dalton the fifth.
00:53:47
Speaker
food poisoning rocks funnest place in universe scrumptious snack company was sued to bankruptcy by whiz Dalton the sixth their lawyer made sure joy blint seized all their assets a sharp eyed man and pinstripes overseas contracts between Dalton and the crest fallen candy man
00:54:05
Speaker
Princess Scandal shakes House of Joy. Attendance takes heavy hit. After Princess Pharah of the Forgotten Forest was found in flagrante with guests, the character was discontinued and Park Attendance took a serious dip. The actress is seen in an attached photo, escorted away from Wiz Dalton VII by Joybalan's legal counsel, a dark-haired man.
00:54:26
Speaker
Joy Bolent devoured by Snack subsidiary. Under the sterling management of its CFO, Snackums, the number one snack food conglomerate, takes controlling stock of parent company Joy Bolent LLC. The salt-and-pepper success story stands shaking hands before a familiar desk with the deflated Wiz Dalton VIII. And that man is the portrait closest to the desk.
00:54:51
Speaker
Fixer on the lower right hand corner of the desk etched into the corner of the top of the desk is V, V, V. Well, that's more than a little concerning.
00:55:07
Speaker
So remember how we said this place was the funnest place in plus or minus 400 years? Yes. I think we showed up on the wrong end of those 400 years. There's been a series of disasters here, and I think the same dark-haired man is in every single one of these photos. Maeve, clearly, from the articles that you found already, there is an element of corruption going on that goes deep. From what we've seen around this park, that corruption has affected the lives of many people negatively, including those poor Thomson Johnsons.
00:55:37
Speaker
Yeah, they could really use a shower. So, how far apart were those stories?
00:55:43
Speaker
decades. Like this has been a generational collapse from sterling silver standard of excellence and wealth and success and have taken hit after hit after hit to attendance to their movie sales. The place has diminished over time and yet through those windows all you see are smiling faces and perfectly running theme park attractions under a sunny bright day. It looks like everything is going
00:56:23
Speaker
That would be the computer inlaid to the mahogany desk, which is currently asking for a password.
00:56:30
Speaker
And why? Yeah, well, because I was going to ask if somebody's trying to wreck this place, and it's been the same person for like, that decades is one of those long times, right? Would that explain why there's a bunch of TARDIS writing everywhere? Yes, in fact, it might. Also, this carving in the desk might as well. What does it say? Well, I believe it's just three letters.
00:56:57
Speaker
It looks like it says, blah, blah, blah. What does that mean? Calamity pulls out one of the candy wrappers for the fixer. And having one close up in your hand, you can see that there is Gallifreyan worked into the logo around the circle of Snackems logo. And in Gallifreyan, it reads, we're everywhere. It's true.
00:57:24
Speaker
It's true, they are. On a personal note, however, the Fixer knows someone that used to leave little vandalism around like that, and has seen that mark before, but has been several years since you have, and you've never seen that face before. But that doesn't mean much. No. No, it does not. Well, I'm gonna be very honest with you, too. How are you three? Thank you. There's four of us here, technically.
00:57:53
Speaker
Ah yes, auditor, auditor, you already know this, so there's nothing for me to have to share on this topic. I had a schoolmate, a chum of sorts, who took a bad turn and made a couple of very bad choices. But unfortunately, I haven't seen them for a while. And the part that's most deeply concerning, that their favorite catchphrase is carved right into this desk here. Your average person walking by would know what the three V's mean. But this was a message left.
00:58:22
Speaker
Do you think they're the ones, like, we fell out of the sky here, right? We didn't try to land. Do you think that's a coincidence? What is... The Latin quote is Veni Vidi Vici. Your old friend, however, when he writes it, it is Veni Vidi Victor. Veni Vidi Victor. So instead of I came, I saw, I conquered, it was I came, I saw, I was.
00:58:48
Speaker
turn to Kitsy, and Kitsy, what would you feel if you were to learn that some organization or group had been actively targeting one of your holdings, slowly destroying its financial viability over decades, for the most nefarious of purposes? Oh, that sounds like Victor. You know this gentleman, says the auditor, pointing to the portrait. Oh, yes, that's number two.
00:59:19
Speaker
Oh, because remember, I'm in the top three of most rich people in the universe? Oh, he's... he's rich... he's richer than you. That prick. I know, that's rude. How do I know? We should put him back. Can we get him back? Well, Kitsy, I would love to assist you, actually, in... in not getting him back.
00:59:37
Speaker
Revenge is so lovely darling, let's do it. I definitely think helping your company succeed above his might be a valuable learning opportunity for him.
00:59:48
Speaker
While you guys are talking, the auditor is looking out the window at the bright, sunny theme park, and the mascots below, almost small as ants, because we are several stories up, gradually making their way towards the TARDIS. And he just... So they were programmed to mop poison everywhere. What's the point? What does that get him accomplished? That's what I asked. That seemed weird.
01:00:13
Speaker
Fixer, give me an ingenuity and technology role to get on the computer.
Project Saturation and Holograms
01:00:19
Speaker
Heck yeah. We're looking at a 14 with a 4 and a 4 on the dice. What are you trying as the password? Are you trying to crack it? Well, first I'll try with his signature statement. Though, honestly, that feels so much like a trap. Typing it in? You type in Venni Vitti Victor, and there's this little... And then you hear a... Some trap does not go off.
01:00:45
Speaker
In sci-fi terms, the sound of a trap not being sprung. This computer, this single desk, runs the entire planet automations. There is a log of recent activity. General management, a very basic AI, is running a number of programs and a project.
01:01:05
Speaker
the project is above the programs in terms of priority and the project which reads saturation says that it is currently at 99 percent below that on the screen are the programs on four tiny little bullets with emoji the first one is cheer which is the picture of people with confident body language walking around below that is shine which is an emoji of a smiling sun in the sky below that is
01:01:34
Speaker
which is represented by emoji of popcorn wafting smell in the air next to cotton candy. And below that is upkeep, which is a picture of a shiny carousel with a shiny roller coaster behind it on the horizon. I think the smartest thing is to shut down the shine, shut down the cheer, and pop the, and shut down the popcorn, and bring upkeep all the way above those. I'm sorry, that wasn't clear. They are all running hot right now.
01:02:04
Speaker
Okay, yes, I just want to bring it up in priority. What does upkeep mean now? Was the whole nanogenes thing a problem on the whole planet? Thank you so much for asking that. I'm immediately going to start bringing up using the computer to access external cameras, things like that. I want to see what's going on in other places on the planet, and I want to see if there's anything coming towards us, because this does seem like a trap.
01:02:26
Speaker
Okay. You can check those one at a time. It's a lot of multitasking going on right now. In answer to Calamity's question, yes, this has been going on across the entire planet. Saturation, the project, is in regards to saturation of arsenic.
01:02:43
Speaker
on the surface of dry land on the planet. This project has been taking years upon years and the months that the Thompson-Johnson's and Kitsy have been trapped here represent the endgame of that plan.
01:03:01
Speaker
When you drag the mouse over each emoji, that little pop-up bubble arrives that tells you what the thing actually does. Cheer controls the holographic guests throughout the park. Shine is the artificial sun, making it daytime all the time. Just like in casinos, where the light inside is constantly at a daylight level to shut you off from the outside, that is what is done here to keep guests feeling sunny, so to speak.
01:03:29
Speaker
mm-hmm represents air purifiers that have been chuffing the scent of cotton candy and popcorn over the smell of the arsenic. This is something theme parks actually do. They will pump pleasant smelling odors into the air to cover up any sense of garbage or BO. And below that upkeep are holograms projecting a lacquered finish on the fully operational rides.
01:03:55
Speaker
Oh, that's not real upkeep. Shut that off as well. And is there a way to shut off the entire pro project from here? Yes, you are able to click, click, click, click your way down the list. As you turn off cheer, a wave passes across the park of people vanishing. They are
01:04:20
Speaker
gone and all that's left are a small cluster of very confused people in ex mascot suits standing circulating around loitering around outside the waltz repair shop. You turn off and the bushes around the little scent sprayers around the buildings and the park stop rustling as air is no longer passing over them.
01:04:43
Speaker
you turn off upkeep and rides that have been going non-stop since you've gotten here slow and stop spinning and the lacquer on them disappears. The rides have not been maintained in any way shape or form in months. The holograms that were making people move around were also providing camouflage of fully operational rides. The place looks significantly worse off
01:05:08
Speaker
than it did before and finally you hit shine and the sun that is overhead snaps out like a light and the blue shimmer of a sunny day disappears the sky has been replaced instead of a clear blue sky it is very dark
01:05:28
Speaker
and a throbbing, orange, angry circle that is not the sun is trembling and undulating in the sky. Like from here it looks to be about the size of the moon, but you have no idea how big it is. Fixer. Give me an awareness and feel the turn of the universe. You're gonna be throwing two points on for being a Time Lord. So ingenuity, knowledge, and Time Lord training for me, please. Okay, we're looking at a 14 with a one and a six.
01:05:54
Speaker
With a growing ball of cold metal sinking in your stomach, it occurs to you that what jostled you on the way in was not just turbulence, it was a subspace distortion. And all sign of that distortion has been cloaked by shine running nonstop since you got here. Even the scanners, even your sonic, have been fooled by that level of holographic camouflage in the way. Distortion in the sky.
01:06:23
Speaker
like a boiling pot of chili looks ready to explode. Okay, I'm taking out a screwdriver from my toolkit. I'm actually going to carve directly above the VVV, no collateral damage as I'm explaining to the trio. You remember how I said earlier this feels like a trap, but felt more like the part of the trap where they're trying to keep you somewhere?
01:06:46
Speaker
Now's when the springing part of the trap
Bomb Timer and TARDIS Evacuation
01:06:48
Speaker
happens. We should run. And with that, the doors slam shut across the floor, and the screen that has run cheer, shine, et cetera, goes black. And sitting in the chair against the theme park vista behind him is the victor. The timestamp in the corner of the video shows this was recorded years ago. He's sitting there looking like the cat that swallowed the canary.
01:07:14
Speaker
Fixer. Maeve. Miss Calamity. Hap. I'm delighted we get to do this out of order. I only regret I'm not there to see the looks on your faces.
01:07:27
Speaker
A bulb from the ceiling flashes and an insta-picture of the three of you looking at the screen is captured and then mailed off. You really do have the most dreadful habit of sticking your nose where it isn't wanted. But then you always have haven't you fix?
01:07:48
Speaker
You have two minutes before the bomb goes off. I have every faith in you. Ta-ta. He throws up victory fingers and flashes. And now there is a two minute timer on the screen as paneling in the desk slides away as a little bomb rises up out of the desk. That trick.
01:08:09
Speaker
First thing I want to do pull out my sonic point the sonic at the camera and figure out where to figure out the coordinates it transmitted the the picture to Okay, give me an ingenuity roll. It's long shot, but I'm gonna go take a look at that bomb Yeah, I was gonna say does it have any obvious wires the button? Yeah, I like buttons and wires You can roll ingenuity and technology
01:08:32
Speaker
I would like to use a story point on this as well. I'm just holding whoopsie who is hissing uncontrollably after seeing Victor. While that is happening, Fixer, what did you roll on your dice? I got a five and a two on the dice with a total of 13 and I'm happy to spend a story point if needed. You collect the information as the timer starts to beep a little louder. I'm going to do the, you know, the old thing, so.
01:09:01
Speaker
I got a four and a six for 14. Okay. And you're spending a story point to bump that up. You mash buttons on the bomb casing and the timer resets to two minutes. What were the numbers on the dice? It was a four and a six. Four and a six. That means you don't set off anything else with the timer restarting at two minutes. Oh, hey, that's good, right? That's very good. That's very good.
01:09:29
Speaker
Oh yes, just keep doing that forever, and then everything's fine. I can't remember the order I mashed the men. When Moopsie hisses at the victor, I understand why you feel that way. Moopsle. Moopsle. Victor, you might want to take a look at this. I think it's going to explode. T minus one minute, 30. OK. Disarming the barm is going to be a lot harder than expanding the time frame for the barm. So let's reprogram it so we have a full day to get out of here.
01:09:57
Speaker
Give me an ingenuity roll with technology and two points for being a clever dickens. You are at a disadvantage because this was built by someone that knows you. Oh, that's fair. And throw two on for Sonic. Can I give a story point? You can. He's like, I pointed it at that button.
01:10:13
Speaker
I pushed that one and I think that one right there and that one twice because it's shiny. Moobsie will also give a story point because the Fixer actually acknowledged her feelings. That's really nice. Well, the dice seem to want to play along too. Oh, but we're keeping lowest too, right? Okay, so that means we only have a five and a two on the dice for a total of 15.
01:10:35
Speaker
15 plus two story points from two separate people rooting for you does bring you up from two minutes to 200 minutes, which is three hours and 20 minutes on their own, which is when there is a slight drip, drip, drip from the sprinkler systems overhead. Calamity, can you please give me an awareness and intuition role, please? I'm at a minus two because the thing I did was bad.
01:11:06
Speaker
Shockingly, but still a full pain with a six. That's great. So with a six, you're looking around the room looking for just for options. There's sticks of furniture here. The glass doesn't look terribly super thick. You plant your hands on your hips. Like, what are we going to do? How are we going to fix this? And that's when you hit something hard in your pocket. It's the beeper that you got from a little helper bot earlier. All right. Well, that seems like maybe helpful, I guess. Sure. I'll press that.
01:11:36
Speaker
Yeah, you press the beeper button and out of the sky, not too much higher than you guys currently are, a helper bot hovers up to the glass and just waves hello on the screen as a very helpful robot face. Yes! Even from here, the sprinklers dripping smell strongly of arsenic.
01:12:00
Speaker
Uh, right. So, um, yeah, I'll just be like, yes! Could you take this window away for cleaning? Robot says, what? I can't hear you. And it reaches out and takes the window and moves it. What did you say?
01:12:17
Speaker
That was excellent. I was just suggesting that you take that window to the maintenance to clean it because it's really dirty and it probably needs to be put in the special window cleaning machine way over there. Also, do you have any like inflatable fun slides? It just turns and lets go of the glass pane and it just plummets.
01:12:39
Speaker
to the ground below behind the thicket of the castle you're currently in shattering the robot says we do have exit assistance for those that require additional help
01:12:56
Speaker
on a little trumpet icon appears over its lips and goes, additional helper bots come closer to the now completely removed pane of glass. They are also torsos and the appendages to help. However, what they can do is the helper bots that show up arrange their arms so that they look like the things you can grab onto for dear life in a roller coaster. So what I would like from everyone is a coordination role as you are assisted out the window by a helper bot.
01:13:26
Speaker
This seems much more exciting than a slide. That's a one and a four for a seven. Can I spend a story point? I would suggest spending two. I will spend two story points. Okay. A three and a four for a total of ten.
01:13:47
Speaker
I have about ten with a six. Ten with a six will do well enough. Fixer, how many story points do you have left? Just one left. And what was your total? Ten. Any sixes on the dice? Unfortunately no. Okay, that does not go great. You hang on to the robot as you stare at the no collateral damage and try to look really cool as you step off onto the robot like, oh no! I got the distance wrong, I got the distance wrong!
01:14:17
Speaker
and cling for dear life to the arms of the Helperbot as it descends. Kitsy, what did you roll? Um, the cat stole my dice. That is wonderful and so apropos. I really wish that that was a joke, but now the cat stole my dice. Do you have any athletics? Uh, I should. I should have a lot as a cat kind. Three points of athletics. Five plus your athletics, so eight plus 2d6.
01:14:45
Speaker
I don't know if I did it right, but I had 15. So yes, 15 is enough to adroitly grab onto the helper bot. Yours is, of course, coded in platinum because you are a stockholder and paid for the extra handling. You and Moopsie are delicately lowered. Thank you for helping.
01:15:05
Speaker
Oh, thank God. The auditor didn't roll snake eyes. So he is gently let down to the ground as you guys descend. The helper bots carrying fixer. Apologies that the fireworks have been canceled due to the structural collapse of this park.
01:15:20
Speaker
As you're lowered gently, the circle in the sky explodes into a nova of light and color that quickly fades and is replaced by this dusty blur of specks getting closer and closer and closer. My beloved friends, it is time to run and run and run.
01:15:47
Speaker
Let's go. But what is that? Maeve just grabs Calamity's hand and starts crying. I'm going to toss Moobsie on my back and go all fours. We're getting out of here.
01:16:02
Speaker
Adventures don't need to be told twice. That's one does. You land outside management and I need coordination roles from every body. Actually no, this is gonna be strength and survival if you want to throw it on there. That's a 2 and a 6 for an 11 for me and I will spend a story point.
01:16:22
Speaker
I still have them. I will very much spend a story point or two. The auditor spends a story point to take a yes butt to a solid yes. In lieu of rolling, can I just spend five story points and ask one of the robots, hey, my friend hurt her ankle earlier. Can we just get one of those, you know, go-kart things?
01:16:44
Speaker
I will say you can get that with two story points. One of the helper bots, the torso, swings forward so it is wide enough to be sat on. Maeve can be part of- I just picture we're all running and this thing just like scoops. Do you have trust exercises on your planet? No, I don't think so. Well, it's a great time to try. And it scoops you. It just scoops you with both hands.
01:17:14
Speaker
and just floats off after the others. I was hoping that that would actually help everyone, but main is good enough.
01:17:22
Speaker
I apologize, I apologize. Yes, I was not thinking large enough in scale. Spending the five story points, not only do you coordinate the safe transportation of Maeve to the TARDIS over here by the box office, you successfully corral the gathered Thompson-Jompsons and mascots. For five whole story points, I'm gonna say that's well worth the effort.
01:17:50
Speaker
Oh good, I totally forgot about them. I mean, they didn't forget about them. They were told to cheese it out, and cheese it out the door, and cheese it out the door. They did. Wow, these robots are really helpful. And we're leaving, we're leaving, we're leaving. It just makes me proud to be part of the team.
01:18:10
Speaker
You are part of the team. You're a huge part of the team. They wouldn't have gotten into places in this team without you. No, I meant the Joyblint team. Oh! I'm an employee. I'm proud of the robots. They're doing a great job. Can we turn to the robots? Would you like to come with us? And if so, please. Because this place may not be around for much longer. They are quite helpful.
01:18:33
Speaker
Yes! As the wearer of the Helperbots quiets as they've ushered the Thompson-Jompsons into the TARDIS, you're having trouble talking with the Helperbots. Not because they don't understand you, but because they are having trouble hearing you over the buzzing.
01:18:52
Speaker
the buzzing in the air of friction as objects moving faster than a certain speed are tearing through the air getting closer and closer and closer. From that puckering wart that exploded in the sky tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny dots
01:19:09
Speaker
have spread like locusts vroom right for the horizon and they're getting wider and wider as they are getting closer and closer and the color of the sky is replaced with just ashy gray as this cloud is thrown up that is slowly building as you hear the buzzing getting closer and louder. Start getting people inside as quick as possible. It means just holding one of the doors and just like
01:19:38
Speaker
Yes, but what is that? Darling, now is not the time for question, now is the time to get the if on the chip. You are shuffled into the TARDIS.
01:19:51
Speaker
At this point, Maeve has just straight up started shoving people in as they get close. We enter the TARDIS room proper with glass tubes everywhere and piping up and down out of sight as the Thompson-Jompsons and the mascots are, they just find places where they can stand or sit or hold on to one of the guardrails. Feel free to head down that way, we have a gym, an exercise room.
01:20:16
Speaker
Oh yeah, it's nice. There's a greenhouse, too. It's lovely. Whoopsie, and I need a spall. State. Fixer. Give me an ingenuity and knowledge roll with plus two for Timelord since it's your TARDIS here. Oh no. Oh no. So that's a one and a one for a total of nine.
01:20:38
Speaker
Can I give my last three story points to the Fixer? I'm so glad you rolled double ones on the scanner and not the actual driving.
01:20:48
Speaker
But wait, there's a chance for that too. There's a chance for that too. Trust me on this. We're gonna let the snake eyes land. The fixer presses a button to turn on the scanner and it immediately shorts out. The scanner, as you see it right now, is currently dead. But the sound of the chewing and the scraping and the buzzing in the air is getting louder and louder and louder.
01:21:12
Speaker
The cloister bell starts to ring that represents a personal disaster for the TARDIS. Maeve, the three story points that you volunteered to use without thinking about it, while Fixer is burning his hand on breaking the scanner, you skid to a stop next to the console. Just grab on. I would like you, with your three story points, to roll ingenuity
01:21:39
Speaker
and transportation for me, please. Okay. With the sparks coming off the scanner, I'd like to say directly to the auditor, how does the victor always one step ahead? Over the growing buzzing, the auditor replies, I imagine having a time machine helps. Yeah, I was going to say, probably time travel. So it's a total of ten with three story points stacked on top.
01:22:05
Speaker
running on pure survival mode. Maeve grabs a lever and just slaps a button on the console. You've seen them from this thing, right? We don't have time for this. Let's just pull this lever. The TARDIS shakes and then dematerializes.
01:22:24
Speaker
Outside the red paneled TARDIS fades out and fades out and fades out as the terrain Vanishes under the chomping teeth of countless creation knows what as the TARDIS Vanishes the sea of teeth washes right past where they were. I need a coordination role. Thompson-Johnson's
01:22:47
Speaker
Darn it, we forgot to get furniture dollies at the gift shop. We did forget to get furniture dollies at the gift shop. The Thompson Johnsons rolled a collective four, so they're bouncing all over the place. Maeve, fix your calamity. What did you guys roll for coordination? Kitsy, what did you roll for coordination? And survival, you can throw survival on there. With survival, I have a 12 with a six on one die.
01:23:09
Speaker
With a 6, that brings it up to a yes. Calamity manages to hang on for dear life. Kitsy, what did you roll? I rolled a 16. You're a cat. You're a nimble. You're like, oh, this is, this is fine. You're having a good time. Absolutely. Good time. Good time. I got double 4s for a 12 total with survival.
01:23:32
Speaker
You are hanging on, but in this moment, if the TARDIS could have a face, it would be looking at you like you guys are hanging on to each other for dear life because this is just, you just jumped blind into the Time Vortex. I got a four and a five on the dice with a total of 14.
01:23:51
Speaker
beautiful okay so yes that also is a good enough role to keep on your feet as the ride ends abruptly as it starts the TARDIS materializes and fixer give me awareness and time Lord and intuition please
01:24:09
Speaker
Okay, we got a six and a four on the dice for a total of 17. Despite the fact that the sensors have completely died, your Time Lord sense, being supercharged by adrenaline and being in emergency mode, a trip that short probably means that the ship only moved in time, not necessarily space. The chronometer on the console reads that you've moved three weeks into the future. Okay, turn to Maeve and say, Maeve, you did a great job. I think you saved us all
Joyblent's Ruin and Reflections
01:24:38
Speaker
there.
01:24:38
Speaker
Thank you, I just hit a lever and a button. Good show, good show. Yeah, we definitely have to teach you some more details on how that work. So you're giving me driving lessons now, that's what I'm hearing. Yes, absolutely. Oh, so we're still here, so we can see what happened. That doesn't sound so weird. Well, but the scanner's broken, and I'm afraid to open the door in case whatever those things are are still out there. Or like everything's destroyed, it didn't look good when we were getting in the TARDIS.
01:25:08
Speaker
There is a dull thunk wrapping and bouncing away from the outer shell of the TARDIS.
01:25:16
Speaker
You step out from the console room through the tiny, tiny watch shop and peer out the windows of the TARDIS exterior shell. So the planet Joyblent that was originally covered in blaring lights and flashing signs, welcome to Joyblent, it is a sandy ruin. There is nothing left of the planet itself but gravel and around the planet that did not have rings when you arrived here,
01:25:46
Speaker
is a ring of dead creatures around what used to be Joyblant, like the rings of Saturn, and one of them clunks against the glass. Fixer, Calamity, Maeve, you have seen this creature before in the observatory. It was on the screen of Caspian Six.
01:26:09
Speaker
Couple of hundred years ago when you asked the doctors there and Gemma to keep an eye on swarm activity. Fixer, your personal record of the swarm activity over the centuries receives an update. It is the final entry. The swarm were rendered extinct on this date around the planet Joyblend from apparent food poisoning. Wow, take my fist, slam it as hard as I can against the wall and say,
01:26:35
Speaker
I know you have to win that bad, but there's gotta be another way.
01:27:00
Speaker
And that is where we are going to conclude the Wages of Joy. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so, so, so much for playing with us today. The Wages of Joy is one of my absolute favorite mods to run with teams various, and it has never been solved quite the same way twice. Let's go around the table and give out some experience points and get to know our players.
01:27:29
Speaker
Maeve, an absolutely stellar job today. Two experience points today with the one you earned yesterday, so that's an additional three all told for the mod. Well done. What was something that surprised you today? The appearance of this Victor character really threw me for a loop. I was not expecting
01:27:50
Speaker
Anything that happened after we reprogrammed the Chula, I thought that was the end of the adventure and we were kind of going to be leaving after that. So finding out there's another bigger plot was that through me for a second. Beautiful. Pandora, two experience points for you today for everything that you were able to contribute to the team and keep things moving. It was really wonderful to watch. How does Calamity feel after this adventure with Team TARDIS?
01:28:16
Speaker
she might need to call like a team meeting because when like really, really interesting things are happening, we need to like take a moment and smell the disaster, right? We can't just be running away from it at top speed. Then you don't get to really experience it fully. So. I could not agree more. Like I understand people panic sometimes, but you just have to write it out. You just have to write it out. Let the panic fuel you.
01:28:45
Speaker
There will be running down corridors. Brand, as the fixer, dynamite job. Oh, thank you. Way to keep up with not only the NPCs, but our special guest, AE, who told me over break that the fixer knows just how to deal with the one percenters with dialogue. That was beautiful. One hundred percent.
01:29:08
Speaker
But yes, two experience points to brand for the fixer. How does that feel knowing that a Time Lord associate of yours, if not friend from the past, has been out doing things like this, like shaping the downfall of a planet? How does that feel knowing someone you know personally has been out here running around with that kind of power?
01:29:32
Speaker
I think it's not just heartbreaking, but it's supremely heartbreaking because I can understand the motivation. We have tracked the swarm, destroying all these different sites, and so it makes sense why one would aspire to stop them. And while it's definitely an efficient solution to poison an entire planet and then leave it as bait and have them eat it and die, it's pretty horrific.
01:29:55
Speaker
Yes,
Creative Problem-Solving and Future Plans
01:29:56
Speaker
it's entirely horrific. Getting to the bottom of what is causing the victor to make that decision so that way we can then help them understand there's a better way, I think is going to be the real heavy lift, like a real heavy lift, but a worthy challenge nonetheless.
01:30:13
Speaker
And finally, our very special guest, A.E. Jones, playing Kitsy Fansington and companion cat, Moopsie. You've played this mod before with different teams. What did you find was new this time with this particular team of TARDIS Travelers?
01:30:29
Speaker
I mean, just to compliment Brand again, like, usually people have a very negative reaction to Kitsy the first time. I mean, she really is the definition of what people think when they say eat the rich. The fact that you're like, bend over backwards, let's just get through this thing, that was honestly like, just a really amazing choice to make.
01:30:52
Speaker
Aww, thank you. I think it was so wonderful the way you inhabited the character and it gave us a really great opportunity to sort of feel those moments where the character was definitely not going to be pushed in certain directions. And that was awesome. I love playing this character. Fun little fact, the night we met, this is the mod that I played. Aww, that's awesome. They played a whole different Time Lady. Yeah, I played a Time Lady called The Woman.
01:31:20
Speaker
And the next night we had our first date. It was, it was, it was a time. For me, I love taking characters and creatures from Doctor Who and putting them in new scenarios and new situations. Um, like throwing the Rutins into an aquarium in troubled waters, taking the Russell T Davies monster, the swarm and putting them into a situation where they could be their own Diabolus ex machina. You know, when things go wrong, wrong, wrong.
01:31:50
Speaker
but it made me think like a Bond villain for the first time of Like here is the logic puzzle. These things are unstoppable. They eat Everything and leave they cannot be stopped. They will always win How do you defeat them? How do you get rid of them? And the answer was make their victory? Step one. So if they were inevitable if these creatures were going to eat everything
01:32:20
Speaker
If we could not stop them, what if we made their victory part of the plan? And for them to go devouring an entire planet that has been coated with poison, wiping them out, and yes, horrific, but at the same time, they just eat. They just
01:32:38
Speaker
eat. They're these one-dimensional monsters, you know? It makes it more compelling. It feels more compelling to me as a storyteller to put characters like yourselves in these situations where sometimes stopping the plan is not necessarily achievable. Sometimes it's literally just about saving your own neck, or as several teams have successfully managed, including you guys, saving everyone else that they possibly could and getting them out of that trap before it sprung.
01:33:06
Speaker
And I do want to give some extra experience points because this was the first time anyone's ever used the speaker systems to get the code out to save the day, which was very creative. I love watching this team scramble from solution to solution. It's very exciting. So yes,
01:33:23
Speaker
an experience point for brand added on it has been an absolute pleasure watching you guys play these games and as they're gonna unfold what you're gonna see is that the things that you do have consequences they unfold things that happen when you're not around anymore i wanted to unfold this opportunity for time travelers to pogo stick
01:33:49
Speaker
back and forth through time and see how their actions and reactions actually play with cause and effect around the universe around them. So that's the wages of joy. Bravo, everybody involved. And thank you for coming along. Do you guys have any questions? Do you have anything that stuck out? Do you have any highlights? You can also give a point to each other if there was something that happened that you absolutely loved that did not get mentioned yet.
01:34:16
Speaker
Oh, absolutely, absolutely. I think Calamity deserves another point for doing the whole job to the nth, to the nth at every point. It was fantastic. I feel like Joy Boleyn owes her a paycheck for that day anyway.
01:34:31
Speaker
So there's that. I did want to make sure I got paid, but to be completely honest, once we got into the management off, well, once we got into the employees place and met Kitty, I was like, oh, this person's super rich. Maybe she tips. So that's why I was immediately cleaning.
01:34:49
Speaker
And by the way, you are absolutely correct because I wanted to give you a story point for being so helpful as a tip. See? Thank you. Take an experience point. There you go. It's something good, darling. It's on, Kitzie. Kate, did you see anything today that struck you as extra special?
01:35:13
Speaker
I think Brand's reaction to what happened to this worm was just amazing. Like it really embodies that whole, this person is evil, but I can fix them that the fixer is all about. I thought it was a beautiful moment. Oh, thank you. Good. It's so good.
01:35:31
Speaker
One of the challenges, creating a mod for players for PCs that are not the doctor, that are not running at Olympic level dangers, but their own level of like, this is risky, this is a problem for us, we've never faced this before. One of the challenges is bringing a foil, a shadow character that is on the same level as you rather than on the same level as the doctor. And finding a Time Lord villain who can wreck a person's day without even being on the planet anymore is a fun villain for me to play with.
01:36:02
Speaker
I just wanted to nominate Kate for just the way that Maeve was leaning into the getting infected by the nanogenes thing. Because you can't even tell that much on the recording because so much of it was facial expressions. It was a lot. It was obviously a lot for Maeve. And that was coming through so solidly. And Calamity was just distracted.
01:36:32
Speaker
Well done. But yeah, now we've got that pretty, pretty flower. Oh, no, not again. It's so creepy. Oh, and I think Maeve has a new short term goal. I gotta learn to drive the TARDIS now.
01:36:47
Speaker
That actually can be one of the things we can talk about now. Your short-term goals have been accomplished. So let's spend some time thinking about, okay, you have overcome your first obstacle. You've achieved your first goal. Now what? Where do you go from here?
01:37:05
Speaker
Maeve wanting to understand the TARDIS and learn how to fly her is a great short-term goal. One of the things that I've really enjoyed about this generation of character creation is that those goals really keep you focused on what am I after? What am I thinking about? Where is my concentration supposed to be? And when those goals change,
Conclusion and Gratitude
01:37:27
Speaker
when you've accomplished them and are ready to move on to the next more difficult thing with time travel involved,
01:37:34
Speaker
It's candy. And finally, to our listeners, another big thank you for sharing your precious time with us. If you feel it's been well spent, please share anywhere but now with your friends who are looking to enjoy themselves. Feel free to leave a like or a comment. You can find us on Twitter at anywhere but now with an underscore at the end and wherever you get your podcasts. From all of us, I'm Casey Jones. Thank you and have a great day.