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The Ruling Class - Pt 2
48 Plays8 months ago
The Fixer, Maeve, and Calamity are up to their necks in danger as Lexii the 7th nears her coronation! The fate and free will of an entire solar system hangs in the balance! Enjoy the last great battle of wills between the Fixer and his best arch-frenemy, the Victor!
Join Brand Osorio, Caiden MacCoyne, and Pandora Beatrix, along with GM Casey Jones as Team TARDIS *explodes* the High and Mighty in the Ruling Class!
And stick around for interviews with the players. Your ears are in for a treat! If you'd like to run a game of D&D or Doctor Who of your very own, find Casey on StartPlaying!
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Music by Tabletop AudioTheme by RJ Pirchinello
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With tabletop gaming as a storytelling tool, the show features the Doctor Who roleplaying game from Cubicle 7, powered by the Vortex System, designed by David F. Chapman.
Game Originally Created by David F. Chapman
Addl. Game Writing by Will Brooks, Zak Dale-Clutterbuck, Eleanor Hingley, Andrew Peregrine, John Sewell, Chris Spivey
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Transcript
Introduction and Cast
00:00:05
Speaker
time travel, sci-fi adventures, and risky rolls of the dice lie ahead. Hello and welcome to Anywhere But Now, a Doctor Who actual play podcast. I'm your host and GM, Casey Jones. The next hour and a half or so holds a thrilling adventure in
00:00:23
Speaker
Time and space. So let's dive in. With me is the daring crew of our time-traveling machine. Playing the Fixer is the charming and resourceful Brandisorio. Hello, Brand. Hello. And joining him is Maeve Sullivan, played by the ebullient Caden McCoy. Hey there. Hey there. Finishing the TARDIS team is Pandora Beatrix as the delightfully chaotic Calamity Hap. Kamusta.
00:00:53
Speaker
Hello? Are you all excited? You feel that energy? I hope so because today we're joined by special guest star, Dudded Up, and their fanciest, A.E. Jones, returning as Kitsy Fansington. Hello, Murph.
Engagement and Promotions
00:01:11
Speaker
We are recording today's episode, and every episode, on Zencaster. An excellent resource for podcasters, both amateur and pro. And if you'd like a special discount on your Zencaster membership, simply use our handy dandy discount code anywhere but now, all one word. Link and details.
00:01:31
Speaker
in the doobly-doo. Get ready for a collaborative, immersive storytelling experience and stick around after the game for interviews with the players. A bigger on the inside thank you to our listeners. Time is truly a gift or it wouldn't be the present. We thank you for spending yours with us.
00:01:54
Speaker
If you like what you hear, leave a review, rate the show, and follow us on Blue Sky and Twitter at anywherebutnow. Join us on Discord and share the show with your friends. Word of mouth is seriously a huge help. Have questions or lovely fan art you want to share? Send them our way at anywherebutnowpodcast.gmail.com. And if you'd like me to run a game for you, whether it's Doctor Who or some spooky D&D, find me over on startplaying.games.
00:02:24
Speaker
brought to you wherever you're listening in time and space. This is Anywhere But Now.
The Zabar Mission Begins
00:02:32
Speaker
Previously on Anywhere But Now, the Fixer, Maeve, Calamity, and the Auditor visit Zabar the Planet Bazaar for gifts on the ascension of Empress Lexi VII. Snack'em's displays were everywhere, with customers snapping up the commemorative edition crystallized pineapple for the event.
00:02:52
Speaker
Our heroes ultimately settle on miniature rockets with pineapple-scented jet fuel, paid for with Calamity's thumbprint-activated snackums card. Traveling to the Bernese homeworld for their coronation, the group passed through strict security measures. Snackums and the Imperial House have taken precautions to ensure the coronation goes smoothly.
00:03:16
Speaker
A broadcast tower atop the palace, readies to transmit the Empress' speech to the masses. Everyone in the solar system will be tuning in. The team discovered Hitzy Fansington schmoozing with whale to-dos and the Imperial Board members at the Snachem's official display, brought to you by Snachem's. Maeve has been asked to get an interview with members of the Imperial House.
00:03:42
Speaker
Per local custom, the Imperial House holds adoption just as important as blood heritage. Kyber the shrewd and the victor crafted the deal of the century capped with Snacom's sponsoring the coronation. Maeve has picked up rumblings from snack food subsidiary owners of discontent, not 100% in love with answering to a boss again.
00:04:06
Speaker
At least a boss like the victor. Uncle Monty, the black sheep of the Imperial House, invited Maeve for a look around the palace to get away from the grownups. The fixer, calamity, and Maeve were together in the palace chapel later when they caught a helicopter who was dragged away for questioning.
00:04:25
Speaker
At which point, they made their way to the Archdeacon's study attached to the Palace Chapel, where they met Lexi VII herself, the kind and charismatic Empress-to-be. Gazing over death threats, pasted together out of Snacom's wrappers, we pick up with Fixer, Maeve, and Calamity, discussing security with Lexi, Kitsy, and Company.
00:05:25
Speaker
Fixer, Maeve, Calamity. A small pile of Snackems wrappers have been pasted and cut and trimmed into painstaking letters threatening Empress Lexi VII on the event of her coronation. First things I'd like to do is pull out the sonic stylus and give it a scan to see if I can pick up any fingerprints.
00:05:49
Speaker
Go ahead and give us an awareness roll with a plus two for the Sonic. This is going to be awareness since you're looking for something using your Sonic for a plus two. And throw intuition on there, why not? We're looking at a 14 with a four and a three on the dice.
00:06:05
Speaker
Fixer, you scan over the Snackems wrappers that comprise the death threats that Lexi has received. And the Empress TV looks at you in confusion as you wave this device over letters of pasted letters.
00:06:25
Speaker
You discover not only that these Snackums wrappers have never been off planet. These were made somewhere on this planet. These were packaged. These were shipped to the palace. What you do find, however, as you're like trying to peek and pry under the letters to look for any evidence of fingerprints, you find on the inside of the wrappers that have been glued in place, print. Fine print.
00:06:55
Speaker
ultra refined fine print print so small it cannot be read by the naked eye code as far as your scanner is like oh it's it's oh there's data down there picking up snippets here and there of the ultra super fine print on the inside of the candy wrappers
00:07:16
Speaker
Now, have we seen this similar fine print on the candy wrappers from earlier? It matches the fine print that has been stamped for a while now on the inside of Snack'em's candy bars. Maeve, do you notice this fine print here? Would I be able to see it? To the naked eye, it just looks like tiny, tiny dots as wide as thread. Is that right? It's the finest of fine print.
00:07:42
Speaker
Yeah, what does it say? Darling, you recognize my work. It is refined, isn't it? It is very refined. It's one of my newest inventions, smaller on the inside print. Inspired. But how does the user access the data?
00:08:01
Speaker
Oh, well, nobody actually reads the fine print, darling. I mean, even just scrolling through terms and conditions takes several, several hours now. Nobody wants to do that. So we figured out an easier way. We just packed all the little letters inside themselves. And you just, like everyone does, you just agree when you open the bag. As everyone does. As everyone does. But how can you read it if it's on the inside?
00:08:31
Speaker
Done. Who reads it? Exactly. Well, I would like to, personally. Mae, give us an intuition, an awareness and intuition role. You are at an advantage because you are seeking the truth. That's a 6 and a 4, 17.
00:08:51
Speaker
With a 6 on the dice, this is a yes and. Two pieces of information come to you literally piecing things together. You're using your reporter's mind to try and use to piece the candy bar wrapper back together on one side so that you can flip it over to try and make something of the print on the other side. And it occurs to you
00:09:16
Speaker
This print basically is a release form that the consumer releases snackums from any of the of culpability for any of the following circumstances including raised blood sugar, increased heart rate from candy consumption, the ability to sue snackums for violation of personal rights, things like that. And the second thing that occurs to you is that the only way to get to this fine print is to open the candy up
00:09:45
Speaker
which is how you technically sign you agree to the terms by opening the candy bar to get to the candy inside. Huh. Well, how many people have, like, know about this, the smaller on the inside buttons? The Archdeacon Hyship squints through bottle, through Coke bottle glasses that are entirely too thick. What's this chicken scroll on the inside of these wrappers?
00:10:12
Speaker
Kyber the shrewd tut-tuts and says that it was one of the factors that made him consider the victor a worthy person of doing business with between him and Kitsy.
00:10:27
Speaker
They've had some of the sharpest ideas, little manipulations, little things to just tug people in the right direction. And that micro fine print is one of them. Almost no one knows about the exact terms and conditions that people have been agreeing to. But you've laid out the candy bar rapper's calamity. Can I please get an ingenuity and intuition roll from you, please? Sure.
00:10:56
Speaker
Well, that is the 13, but I have a one on one of the dice. You've laid out between Maeve and the Fixer painstakingly placing out the wrappers trying to puzzle piece them back together. You realize that something is not quite right. Something is missing here from the whole picture. The but is that you do not immediately realize what is missing from the wrapper now that all the letters are in place.
00:11:23
Speaker
Meanwhile, on the desk are the smashed, crushed remains after one of the security guards, strong-armed the helicopter, and the little bits of the now broken camera drone sit on the desk nearby. While you guys are looking over those, the Empress sits back and folds her arms, checks her gorgeous timepiece, and says,
00:11:52
Speaker
do we really have the time for this? We're not going to let it interrupt the coronation, obviously. I'm still going to be crowned in less than two hours from now. Absolutely, Empress. That is our main goal. And I think with the excellent team that we have assembled here, we should be able to
00:12:12
Speaker
keep you right on schedule. Though we may have to make one or two changes to the flow of the event, I believe we can otherwise make sure that it happens exactly as you planned. Archdeacon Hishup starts to stammer a complaint about changing the flow of the events and Kyber just shushes him aside and says, what exactly did you have in mind?
00:12:35
Speaker
Well, I think the first thing we need to do is make sure that the crown is safe for the Empress. After all, there were those fantastic artistic alterations, which
00:12:48
Speaker
I know will make the crown look better, but would have given an opportunity for an unsavory force to put the Empress's life in danger. Hence the crazyology on the wall. The Archdeacon stammers, you want to see the crown jewels yourself? I suppose you'll be sacking our sweets next, looking for clues. This is outrageous. I won't hear
Security Concerns and Discoveries
00:13:13
Speaker
of it. And the Empress looks at him and says, Then cover your ears.
00:13:18
Speaker
Kyber, you've hired some incredibly exceptional security personnel for this process, right? True. They've been hand-selected and trained. Hand-selected? Then you must trust them. I trust the people I have hired to protect to vouchsafe the Empress-to-Be's safety. Excellent. Then I would like us to be able to direct a crew of your most trusted employees in a full security suite of the area where the crown is being kept.
00:13:48
Speaker
the crown itself and the path the crown will be taking from the place it's kept to the coronation. With your support, of course, sir. Kyber just lifts his wrist and says, security to the chapel study at once.
00:14:05
Speaker
a pair of security men enter. Dressed in tuxedos, they're wearing the sunglasses of Secret Service anonymity. They immediately look to Calamity and the yellow pip of a fire starter on her lapel and said, sir, is there trouble in here? We brought the fire extinguishers out, like, requested, like, no, no, no. Kyber points to Fixer.
00:14:30
Speaker
Yes, I needed to make sure that we had two of your most trusted officers for this operation. We want to make sure that everything is done safely. We want to make sure that everything is going to be recorded from multiple angles. But before we do that, calamity, there is no one in this world who has, in my opinion, a better judge of people. What do you think of these two?
00:14:49
Speaker
Calamity will just walk up to them and sort of like look at their faces and like legitimately like get her cheek right up to their cheeks She's like trying to look underneath the sunglasses without actually taking them off
00:15:04
Speaker
Give us an awareness and intuition role. You're at advantage. They've been told to listen to the person that just told you to do something with them while a known fire starter gets closer with no implements to start fires in her hands. I assume that the empathy does apply here. That is a 13 with nothing special.
00:15:25
Speaker
The gentlemen are not trying too hard to be secretive. There is a six on those dice for them rolling their own presents. They are professional. They do appear armed. You know, their jackets have the slightest revealing bulges here and here to suggest that they are carrying weapons. But they appear to be on the up and up. Okay. They seem all right. I haven't, you know, we haven't like
00:15:53
Speaker
had a long conversation or anything but they don't really have many expressions no they do not in fact have many expressions they've been trained not to but they nod and say ma'am we are at your service ma'am while you are on the palace grounds
00:16:09
Speaker
Oh, okay. There was a thing that I left outside the palace. Could somebody go get it for me? She's talking about the, you know, the portable, collapsible spaceship. The rocket? Yes. That is currently on the far side of security check in the TARDIS, which they would not be able to navigate. And I cannot guarantee that the rocket itself would also pass the security checks to bring that into the palace walls.
00:16:36
Speaker
I think Calamity is vaguely hoping that if security itself was bringing it in that that might somehow be skipped, but this was just optimism. Kiber lowers his head, pinches his brow. Are you actually asking our hired and trained security to go and fetch a briefcase off of your time machine?
00:16:58
Speaker
Oh, yes. You did say you were at her service, so... Right. I mean, part of it, I was just sort of testing the boundaries of what constitutes, you know, at my service, but also, you know, it was something I wanted, so it wasn't just frivolous. While you're there, could you get my steak?
00:17:14
Speaker
They open their mouths to object. The auditor just chimes up, I'll show them the way, don't worry. I'll make sure they don't touch anything they don't need to or won't get lost on the way. Come along, gentlemen. Does a sprightly little clap, clap. Okay, if a scan finds any malfunctions, don't tell me. No spoilers. The two security men turn to the auditor and say, is she like this all the time? And he just says, you get used to it.
00:17:41
Speaker
and the door slides shut behind him. So they're off on their fetch quest. Now, Kyber, there is no one who can get to the depths of the truth better than Maeve Sullivan. With your permission, I would like to send her along with your security team. That way she can document everything that happens. The Empress says, well, I literally just met her, but I do
00:18:07
Speaker
You like the stories that she's written. I think under Watchful Guard, we can allow her a glimpse of the vaults. She gets up, straightens her tuxedo jacket, and says, and you know what? I'm going with. Wonderful. And holds out the crook of her arm, and she just gives a little whistle.
00:18:29
Speaker
another pair of security men into the doors. They give Miss Kitsy-Fansington a little wave. Ma'am, yes ma'am.
00:18:39
Speaker
We're off to the vaults. Points to the elevator in here, which is camouflaged as a tasteful cabinet, offers to escort Maeve down to the vaults for a closer look. Ah, yes, of course. Well, we travel. Perhaps you could tell me if you have anything you'd like my readers to know about you and your vision for your role.
00:19:01
Speaker
It's a date. She nods playfully and raises an eyebrow. Oh, is it? Maeve takes it and goes, a date, huh? That's the nice thing about becoming Empress. I can do whatever I want. Oh, that's lovely.
00:19:15
Speaker
and Archdeacon Hyship again is like, but there are several things that we must do first, it's like later, boys. And she just disappears into the cabinet with Maeve. Turn to Kitsy as the door closes and says, Kitsy, darling, this may be one of the most challenging things you've ever faced, but we will need a backup crown, something that will at least evoke the guaranteed beauty that you sought in that first crown.
00:19:42
Speaker
Oh, please, darling. You know what, truth be told, I just pulled it out of the back and dusted it off. Moopsy, Moopsy, come here, darling. Moopsy, Moopsy. I have a special little job for you. Go pick up Mummy another crown. Moopsy. And Moopsy's gonna hop off the pillow and just skitter away to go look for this new shiny thing.
00:20:10
Speaker
Do I have any random Snack'em snacks on me? Yeah. I would like to pull one of them out and just sort of unwrap it and then I guess start eating the snack, but also comparing the wrapper from the snack that I have to all of the letter wrappers and see if I can figure out what exactly is it that I'm expecting to see that I'm not seeing.
00:20:27
Speaker
Excellent point. So yeah, you just pad in a pocket and find a Snackums brand candy bar and without even thinking about it like it's just muscle memory at this point you just reach in and like while you're thinking like boy I sure wish I had a Snackums wrapper to examine and then there's a Snackums bar in your hand you just
00:20:48
Speaker
Rip it open. Calamity, add one story point and give us an extremely simple ingenuity and intuition roll. Since you are now trying to compare one thing to a cut up version of something very, very similar. And while you're doing that, you rip open the candy bar, get a little, just get a little hit of the anticipation of having some tasty, tasty candy.
00:21:15
Speaker
Well, I have a 15, but I have a 1 again on one of the dice. I will happily spend that story point to make it just go away. You polish off the candy bar as you lay out the wrapper and immediately notice that the logo is the thing that is not present on the death threats. The logo the size of your thumbprint. The logo that made you a millionaire if not richer.
00:21:41
Speaker
Okay, I guess they might have just decided not to put the logo on the death threat letters because they don't like snackums. I don't know, psychologically it's kind of difficult. I've never given anyone a death threat. It's really not hard, darling.
00:21:54
Speaker
What if it's not a death threat, Calamity? Well, what did they say exactly again? Death to the Empress, your reign shall be the shortest of all, things like that. The weird thing is, these threats seem very non-specific. Like, they're not talking about the horrible things she's done. They're not trying to impugn her character. It's just like, death to the Empress, your fate is doom, and things like that. Very, very generic threats.
00:22:23
Speaker
Fixer, at a story point, what if they're not death threats? Meanwhile, on the smooth, sleek, sexy elevator ride down, down, down, downtown to the vaults, the Empress stands in this
00:22:39
Speaker
amazing looking tuxedo made for the occasion while the big burly bodyguards on either side of Maeve and herself stand there saying absolutely nothing. And she leans in a little closer to Maeve and says, you know, when I was just a girl, I used to dream about having the run of this place all to myself. And now I've actually got it. And you know what? It's pretty fun. It seems pretty amazing.
00:23:10
Speaker
And the doors slide open out to the traditional burnished, polished stainless steel vaults. The empress stalks up, heels clacking on steel, clack, clack, clack, as she gets closer to the vaults, leans in for the retinol, eye scan accepted. And she puts her thumb on the thumb scanner and says, thumbprint accepted.
00:23:37
Speaker
and extremely loud unlocking mechanisms inside a giant vault unlock and the doors slowly swing open. Light from within, bafflingly bright, demure satin sheeting to prevent any streaks on the metal or the gems. The crown jewels of the Brinnan solar system sit in a lovely display case.
00:24:02
Speaker
Those are amazing. Do they all look like jewels? Is there anything abnormal about them that I might notice? Give us an awareness and intuition roll. That's a 3 and a 2 for a 12.
00:24:16
Speaker
So the jewels themselves, as far as your untrained eye, you are not a metallurgist, you are not a jeweler of any kind. They're gorgeous, but there's nothing supernatural or magic or cursed about them.
Dynasty and Distractions
00:24:29
Speaker
The Empress just goes down the grocery list of the things someone would have to do to get this far. And that's still by being detected, because she points to the corners, those little black dots that indicate that there are cameras present. Well,
00:24:46
Speaker
What if all of these things involved being a member of the family, correct? Oh yes. So what if somebody looked like a member of the family but wasn't, or what if one of the members of the family turned against you? She leans back thoughtfully against a treasure trove. She just leans on it.
00:25:06
Speaker
You know, that might have been a real problem before Khyber got the whole family in line. The before times when there was squabbling and infighting and so much spite flinging around. It was a wonder the dynasty lasted as long as it did. But once he was able to organize us as a group,
00:25:31
Speaker
Help the others see that we are stronger together and working towards a common goal. Put most of the family's objections about the line of succession to rest. But there's a wonderful question. Ask me another. What were the fights about? What was everybody so upset?
00:25:50
Speaker
Who should be in charge? Who should have stewardship of the family jewels? I know Josephine has wanted to bask in them. But mostly about the future. The future of the dynasty, the future of Snackems, and what it means for the solar system. It hasn't been easy getting everyone to agree to come together in one place like this. And what do you see as the future of Snackems?
00:26:15
Speaker
Her mouth just hangs open for a second and says, you know, I thought you were going to ask me what I thought about the future of the Empire, but the future of the Snackums might as well be the same thing.
00:26:28
Speaker
Well, I am going to be in charge in gorgeous watch just over one hour from now. I'm looking forward to it. Obviously, I'm going to heed Khyber the shrewd on business matters. He's on the board along with Kitsy and this Victor fellow and myself. Did Khyber do to bring everybody into line?
00:26:49
Speaker
That gravelly voice of his does certainly go a bit, doesn't it? It's hard to ignore him. But the man is capable of making some incredibly persuasive
00:26:59
Speaker
incredibly subtly threatening lines of reason that turn people's perspective to fall into line. It's been rather jaw-dropping to watch. I can't wait to learn to do it myself. And what is your read on the Victor? She stops, shrugs, and reaches into a pocket and tears open a little packet of crystallized pineapple and
00:27:27
Speaker
You know, crunch, crunch, crunch. He's not all bad. He's mostly been in the background since we got down to the actual deadline of the coronation. I think at this point he just wants to see things room smoothly. Crunch, crunch, crunch. I see. And one last question. What would you say to those who doubt your ability to lead the Sempire into the future?
00:27:49
Speaker
I'd say they're in for a very rude awakening because I am going to rule this empire and I'm going to do it my way and they can get in line or they can get left behind. What is your way? I'm still figuring that out, but I want to make decisions that will benefit the empire as a whole. I want to make rulings that lead us into continued prosperity.
00:28:18
Speaker
And those that cross the Brinese imperial system must know such transgressions will be met with appropriate punishments. I see. What is my read on this conversation? Like, she seems kind of charismatic but very subtly threatening to me. Can I discern anything else about her?
00:28:39
Speaker
Give me an awareness and intuition roll, and since you're still looking for the truth, we'll say you're at advantage. This, however, you're looking for things that are subtler, so we're trying to hit a 15 this time. Six and a four for a total of 17.
00:28:54
Speaker
You recognize that this is a young woman born into an incredibly competitive family and has managed to stay afloat and retain her own force of personality around all of these other people that clearly have expectations of what she is, quote unquote, supposed to be. And she has not allowed it to get under her skin. She does seem a little bit more relaxed with a bag of snackums in her hand.
00:29:24
Speaker
And you have the most nagging sensation of deja vu, which we will come back to. Meanwhile, Calamity, Fixer, Kitsy, you are in the chapel study with Kyber and Archdeacon Hishup.
00:29:47
Speaker
The Archdeacon clearly distracted and needing something to do is just trying to make sure that all his papers are in place for last minute details and things like that. There's a little as a origami frog hops out of one of the opened desks and he smacks it and it lands on the desk in front of Calamity on the fixer.
00:30:14
Speaker
How did he get in? I've told him a dozen times to stay out of my rooms! Honestly! The frog? No, no, not the frog, it's a piece of paper! And he flicks it, it crinkles and skits across the desk. It is not paper, it is candy bar wrapper. So who did you mean then, if not the frog?
00:30:35
Speaker
Montague. Montague! Fixer. Give us an ingenuity and intuition roll. You got it. And one thing I was hoping to do was to see if the bigger on the inside text said something different based on the way it was set up across the wall. Smaller on the inside. Ah, you mean like on the inside of the death threat? Yes.
00:31:04
Speaker
No, when it is cut out of order and into the death threat, it is just gobbledygook. It's just a word salad that is too fine to actually read, but that is an excellent question.
00:31:15
Speaker
That's, I love where your head's at. Give us, please, an ingenuity and intuition roll. You got it. Archdeacon just slams shut the drawer a little too hard. If I've told him once, I've told him a dozen times to stay out of my rooms. He's always making these little thingsies with his mischiefs. It's a complete nuisance. Apparently, I am so distracted by this incredibly cool origami frog because I got a one in a one on the dice for a total of nine.
00:31:43
Speaker
This is a big no-butt with double ones. You are looking over the origami frog and get a paper cut right across the pad of your thumb when you are trying to look at it. The knee-jerk reaction of pain is so much that you just fling the frog and it pinwheels across the desk towards calamity. Now with a drop of your blood on it, so that's fun.
00:32:09
Speaker
Does it look like it was made out of nano paper or something that allows it to be paper and jump around? When origami is folded in a certain way, there's some give and some springiness to the paper, so pressing down on it would make the frog actually hop. Monty jury-rigged the thing. He had tucked it just so into the drawer so that opening it would cause it to spring up at the person who opened it. Okay, maybe this is just how he shows his affection. Deacon Hyshup just folds his arms in red. He can show it to somebody else.
00:32:39
Speaker
Deacon, would it be helpful if we convinced Monty to stop doing this to you? You're welcome to take it up with him. He's probably been banished up to his sweets again. I don't want him anywhere near the Empress before the coronation. There's no telling what sort of shenanigans and disruptions he can get up to. Do we have tried opening one? One of the frogs.
00:33:00
Speaker
No, of course not! I wouldn't I want with an origami frog. I've got far too many important things to do with my time. I mean he might be sending you nice notes about how good a job you're doing, whatever it is you do. I'm unclear on that point. Anything is possible. I have been short with him, haven't I? And he opens up another drawer and there's another origami frog that just
00:33:27
Speaker
thinks in between the eyes. He's like, damn it! Just cripples it up and tosses it on the table. Well, I will check one then and see if there is anything inside it. Okay, give us an ingenuity and intuition check and you are at advantage. Okay, so that is a 16 with nothing special.
00:33:46
Speaker
Your curiosity gets the better of you. Are there little tadpoles in there made of confetti? Let's find out. And you unfold the wrapper of a snackums brand official commemorative crystallized pineapple. You unfold and unfold and unfold and find that the logo
00:34:05
Speaker
is also missing from this origami frog. It has been carefully cut out of the corner of the, there's like a little thumb print sized piece of the wrapper completely missing that's been folded back so it won't affect the rest of the fold and made up into an origami frog. Huh. Hey, I have a question. How exactly do you do like trademark enforcement? Like to prevent your logo from being misused or whatever?
00:34:31
Speaker
Kitsy, what do the lawyers do at Snackums to copyright infringers? We are, darling. I mean, I love that you asked this because it's a nine-point process, which definitely starts with, you know, them being, I wouldn't say kidnapped, but I wouldn't not not say kidnapped. Let's just put it this way. Snackums doesn't have a problem with copyright and trademark infringement anymore.
00:35:01
Speaker
Cut to. Maeve, you are not in the vaults. You are in your home. The Sullivan estates.
00:35:14
Speaker
It is somewhere around 1886 or 87. You are maybe 15 years old. The attic of the Sullivan estate. Kit is here. You are both half covered in dust. You have been up in the attic for the better part of an hour now, looking around because your adoptive mother, the parent you actually get along with, has asked you if you can find the good silver.
00:35:43
Speaker
to be around here somewhere. Musty smells of collections from decades and centuries past are rife up here. There is only so much dust on the things because your mother does like a clean house and that even extends to the storage spaces. There are mementos up here from the Napoleonic Wars that some great grandfather of yours would have been involved in.
00:36:13
Speaker
I would like to take one of the hats and put it on and strike a heroic pose.
00:36:19
Speaker
Yeah, you grab one of the military hats from the Napoleonic Wars era, stride a box, putting your knee, your leg up on it, like, what do you think? Kit tries not to swoon in your presence, like, well, well, you do cut a stunning figure, don't you? Look at you. I do. You missed your calling as a military general, clearly. Well, I haven't missed it yet. Who knows what could happen? That's true.
00:36:49
Speaker
Private Maeve. Cool Prue Maeve. Colonel Maeve! Dare we say general? Admiral Maeve? Dare we? Kit looks around and helps you poke through boxes of things you have not touched or needed to look through in years. I was sure it was here. My mother was sure it was here. I mean, it's got to be around here. Are there any like chests about that we could just open up and have a peek inside?
Snackems and Manipulations
00:37:19
Speaker
Go ahead and give us an awareness and intuition role as you investigate, as you peer deeper and look into the mystery of where the hell the good silver is. Two and five for fourteen. You continue looking around and find a pry bar. Like the heft of a good pry bar feels good in your hands and you're like...
00:37:42
Speaker
pry open this case of wine bottles. It's a vintage you're not familiar with. There appear to be cases of this stuff for fancy parties and things like that. There are some other things up here that you have also just tried to forget about, things you haven't needed or wanted to bother to look at in a while. Kit is looking over some things, finds a basket with your effects from when you were a little younger.
00:38:08
Speaker
when you quote unquote became one of the Sullivan's. There's a shawl that is now too small for you, a silver hand mirror in need of polishing. There's a pen and pencil set with a pad of paper. Only all of the pad has been scribbled over on questions about life and questions to ask the gardener and questions to ask the cook. I remember writing that when I first got here. That was a good time.
00:38:35
Speaker
You pick up a clipboard. On it is an actual checklist of what appears to be everything in the attic proper. And silver is not on the list. The good silver is actually kept downstairs in the dining room cabinets for ease of access. Well, why would she send us a pia for it then?
00:38:57
Speaker
Kit chews on her lip for a second and says, I don't really know, but I don't like what I'm thinking about either.
00:39:05
Speaker
What is it? They glance at the attic ladder that leads back downstairs to the house proper. You hear voices lightly from downstairs downstairs because you're presently above the third floor but can hear people talking below and wood creaking as people are heading for the exit. I'll put a finger to my lips and see what I can hear.
00:39:27
Speaker
You tiptoe quickly down the ladder and find it quiet on the third floor landing and peek over the banister to look down. You just see the top of your father's head as he is shaking hands with some important looking gentleman and the door heavily shuts.
00:39:49
Speaker
as your adoptive father takes his wife's hand and gives it a squeeze of thanks and glances up at you, three stories up, with a cold look of nothing resembling approval as he strides away. What is that about? What just happens?
00:40:13
Speaker
Maeve, give me an intuition and ingenuity rule and add two because you know your father. Nothing special in the dice, but it's an 18 with a plus two.
00:40:25
Speaker
So between the fact that you were looking in the attic for over an hour and the manifest your mother so tidally made up clearly shows that the good silver is on the ground floor in the dining room cabinet already and the look of disapproval that your father gave you from three stories away, you've been put out of the way on a wild goose chase for long enough not to embarrass him while he does more important things.
00:40:55
Speaker
I would really like to know what he was up to. Maybe there's something in his study that I might be able to see if I could sneak there.
00:41:03
Speaker
You start to head down to the second floor where your father's private study is and there's a grandfather clock ticking loudly. The door is just ajar. Tradition holds that that is the amount of the door that is open so that the person inside can pretend to be accessible while wanting to be completely left alone.
00:41:28
Speaker
And Kit, who has been by your side, God knows how many adventures and scrapes and things. He's like, yeah, I'm not dealing with his bull today. I'm not going in there. He doesn't have any con words for me. Is he in there? You hear the... of him lighting his pipe. Well, I'm feeling confrontational. Wait outside. I had a girl!
00:41:53
Speaker
Maeve goes up to the door. Does she knock? No. This is a competition and I intend to win. Who is Maeve competing with? Well, I am, of course. It's all about vibrato. I push open the door and stride in like I am the place.
00:42:15
Speaker
you push open the door and take a deep breath and cut to five minutes later where he has completely demoralized and sabotaged everything that you try to bring up, force any
00:42:33
Speaker
fire you had of indignation with, well you are in my house and I call you my daughter and look after you and feed you and all of those things that you have heard so many times before they are like a crushing weight on your shoulders. You walk out again and he actually shuts the door behind you. Kit looks at you
00:42:57
Speaker
Yeah, as soon as the door closes, Maid's eyes start to well up a little bit, but she's blinking hard trying to keep it back. Kit shakes their head. I knew it. They've done the same thing to me, time to time on the job. Send me off on some wild bloody goose chase just from out of the way so they don't have to answer hard questions about me while I'm not there. Disgusting. Why would he want me out of the way? What kind of business could he have?
00:43:22
Speaker
It's not about the business. It's about you. He's ashamed of you. He's embarrassed of you. I've done nothing wrong. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. I promised myself I wasn't gonna take advantage. So Kit puts a hand on Maeve's shoulder and says, you listen to me, Maeve Sullivan, and you listen well. Don't you ever let them walk all over you. Don't you ever let them treat you like a thing that can be swept out of the way.
00:43:52
Speaker
And the doors open again as Maeve and the Empress-to-be step off of the elevator back into the study. Calamity! You get a little deep-a-deep and Kyber gets a notice and is like, yes, very good, put it in the quad. Looks at Calamity and the Fixer.
00:44:13
Speaker
Your suitcase is outside. Oh, good. Thank you. Cut to calamity. Out on the quad, you step out of the palace proper onto the raised dais, the raised circle for the people that are stockholders or special guests of the family or time travelers who showed up invited like yourself.
00:44:38
Speaker
The auditor and the two security men are carefully giving it like it might go off a berth as they set down the suitcase nearby. Nice. Thanks so much. What is that, darling? It looks very interesting.
00:44:57
Speaker
Oh, it's just something I picked up at the bar. I was looking for something sort of a hobbyist project, but really a short duration one. I just wanted to have something around just in case I felt like I needed enrichment. The Empress nods along, understanding. I get it. Well, fortunately, the thing is on wheels, so you have a little leash that you can pull it around on to follow after you as you go-go.
00:45:24
Speaker
Are those two guards that delivered it the same two guards that Kyber the shrewd said were his two most trusted? Among them, yeah. Well, hello, gentlemen. Now that you've succeeded in bringing back this incredibly important item for our investigation, it's very important for you to take part in the second part of our investigation. Firstly, Maeve, did anything seem out of the ordinary with the royal jewels?
00:45:46
Speaker
Nothing with the jewels. Hmm, okay. Gentlemen, do you have the ability to scan for Artran energy? They trade confused looks like Artran energy. What's that? Your society hasn't yet figured out how to scan for Artran energy. Okay, what parts do I need to build you a quick scanner?
00:46:08
Speaker
Can I use two story points to say they have the parts on hand for me to build them an Artron energy scanner? I mean, you're an Imperial palace. They have the parts on hand to build pretty much whatever you want. They start going down a list of things like, okay, tell Polly over in receiving that we got to get some things out of storage. We're going to need this Tricoaxial actuator. We're going to need this scientific Arbol garb and a third thing, Artron.
00:46:35
Speaker
Is that what that other fancy guy was talking about? I've heard that word before. The victor you're talking about? Fancy guy? Yes, he definitely has a fancy air about him, doesn't he? Not true fanciness. I mean, I'm usually the fancy one. It is in my knee. Not so.
00:46:52
Speaker
Well, all this is happening. I would like to see if Lexi has an extra one of those crystallized pineapple packets. She reaches into a pocket. Gums, why? Oh, might I try one? Yes, thank you. And then I would like to do as discreet a handout as possible to the fixer.
00:47:12
Speaker
This is going to be subterfuge. This is going to be dexterity and subterfuge because you're trying to do something sneaky. If you be so kind, please to give us a coordination and subterfuge if you please. If it's at all apparent, you know, what her plan is here, I'm happy to run interference.
00:47:30
Speaker
Great. Calamity just sort of steps over. Oh, right. Well, make sure you also grab the Dingle Hopper. That's super important. And the guys just start going over the list like Dingle Hopper, Dingle Hopper. I don't see a Dingle Hopper. I got a 6 and a 4 for a 16 total.
00:47:48
Speaker
Yeah, you've got them so bamboozled, they do not notice you just quietly hand an unopened Imperial Pineapple off to the Fixer. The minute I have that in hand, I'd like to rip it open, dump one out into my hand, pass the rest of the package back to Maeve in hopes that it looks like, oh, we're just sharing it back and forth. Fixer, give us an ingenuity and technology role and add two for Alien. This has less to do with the fact that you're a Time Lord and more to do with the fact that you're an Alien.
00:48:17
Speaker
Very nice, we got an 18 with a 4 and a 5 on the dice. Yeah, that's brilliant. There were no sixes, so this won't be the most astronomical you've ever done. Can I give him a story point? You can, you absolutely can, with the power of teamwork. So we're going to throw a yes and onto that.
00:48:35
Speaker
Fixer, without even thinking about it, you rip open the candy wrapper with your thumb on the logo and just rip right through the thing, you have just received a dopamine hit. By ripping open the candy wrapper with your thumb on the logo, which is instinctually where everyone has been programmed to rip open a candy bar,
00:49:00
Speaker
You actually get in your brain, you can feel a little micro bump of dopamine hit your system as you... Oh, I love it. Oh, that's good smelling stuff.
00:49:14
Speaker
your most brilliant plan ever. I must admit, I did not expect tactile booster built into your advertising. I mean, that's a wonderful way to get people hooked on a product. I'm sorry, what? The dispenser built into the packaging. I just did the tics, darling. I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, there's a what now? Moopsie, were you aware of the, and I pointed the finger presser.
00:49:40
Speaker
So, Moopsie has since come back from her jewelry picking. Dragging an entire pillow covered in crown and jewels. Yes, and... Moopsie? And she kind of like does the very confused, pug-watching TV head tilt. We both just kind of look at you puzzled. I didn't think so. Thank you, Moopsie. Moopsie? Calamity, how are you feeling right now? I mean, all right. Why?
00:50:08
Speaker
Would you like to feel better? Well, sure. Don't see why I wouldn't. Pass one of the packages her way. If you press your finger right on that little logo, it'll give you a nice stimulating boost to brain chemicals. Probably the reason they have so much, what do they call that? Smaller on the inside fine print. Really? Squish your thumb on the logo but without tearing it open yet.
00:50:30
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Calamity. If you have ever licked a battery that had a charge and you could just taste the tingle of a battery with a charge versus a battery that is completely inert, there is a comparable, a comparable sensation on the pad of your thumb only because you recognize that feeling. It is the same sensation you got from the Snackums card
00:50:59
Speaker
that you used to receive your massive payout that also rewrote the speech center of your brain so that you could not talk about what happened on Joybullet without mentioning that it's Argh-Fargo-Barg all the time and raining canoes. Uh-huh. Huh. Well, that's weird. What's weird? Well, I don't know. Hmm. That's actually hard to explain. It feels a bit like a legal agreement.
00:51:30
Speaker
That was fantastic. A legal agreement. I really can't say a lot more that's gonna make any sense. Right. Well, by opening them, I'll give it a shot. It does feel like it's doing something to my brain. Didn't feel necessarily good, exactly, but right. It did feel a bit like... Legal agreement. Something you've experienced in the past? The device that worked like Laura Mipsum, yes? Oh, sure.
00:52:00
Speaker
That's deeply concerning. That's kosher, you can agree with that. That's deeply, deeply concerning. Is the shrewd anywhere near us? Kyber has stayed behind to debrief with the other two security men to make sure that the crown jewels have been in no way maligned as he goes over footage from across the castle. Deacon Hishup has also stayed behind in the offices because you've kind of upset him.
00:52:27
Speaker
Oh, good. So neither Kyber nor Deacon is out here with us. You've got the Empress to be. Josephine is off in the Snackham's display by her portrait, hoping to be noticed. Yeah, she's got security detail on either side of her.
00:52:41
Speaker
Empress, were you aware that you were having people mess with their own brain chemicals without informing them of that beforehand? What? What are you talking about? Well, as you said, your future and Snacom's future are tied together. And it seems like some species might consider the act of forcibly changing the brain chemicals of the citizens of their own planet being done without their permission as possibly an act of war.
00:53:09
Speaker
She blinks in utter bafflement. Like, she's not offended. She's not upset. She's just blindsided. You're talking about candy wrappers. How much harm can someone do with candy bar wrappers? And that's when it begins to rain candy. There's a
00:53:29
Speaker
and a crinkle as a package of crystallized pineapple just bounces off your shoulder and lands on the ground and then another one and another one. And you look up and from one of the floors above, Uncle Monty in his bright candy red jacket is tossing from a basket whole packages of the crystallized pineapple. You get a pineapple and you get a pineapple and everybody gets a pineapple. I love it.
00:53:59
Speaker
It definitely explains how poor Uncle Monty got off the sauce. I have definitely had a dream like this, but the details were slightly different, but that's alright. Can we tell what exactly it's doing, Fixer? Because, I mean, I could just start talking about random things and see if there's anything that I can't talk about intelligibly.
00:54:20
Speaker
That's a great question. The other question becomes- The Empress is really good at her job. The Empress is really bad at her job. The Empress is great. The Empress is pretty. The Empress is not pretty. She's just gonna start saying a bunch of random things about the Empire and the Empress and- While Calamity kicks the tires on some possibly inflammatory statements that she can or cannot actually articulate, the Auditor reaches into his tuxedo and pulls out his sonic compass and gives
00:54:46
Speaker
The logo on the candy wrapper, a scan with his sonic fixer, give us an ingenuity and technology role and you are at an advantage because this is data you have personally tasted.
00:55:00
Speaker
Okay, we're looking at a 15 with a 4 and a 4 on the dice. Scanning the actual logo confirms that the signal from the little impossibly small chip embedded in the wrapper is activated by the tearing open of the candy itself. Does it appear as though the data can be updated from afar? As in once somebody's opened the wrapper, already gotten the download, can that download then be adjusted?
00:55:30
Speaker
In so many words, yes it can. This thing gives you a potent little dopamine hit. It wakes up your receptors and your responders to be more receptive to more. And that's when Uncle Monty emerges from the palace doors on the ground floor where you guys all are. He's still got the large basket of candies.
00:55:59
Speaker
Toss it into the crowds! Brought up a tea, everybody! Next up, I have a question. So, whoever wrote those notes had opened the packages, correct? That is correct. Had they done it the way where you tear it with your phone? That's a great question, too. I don't know. Wouldn't all of those chemicals, what would compel them to write a murder note at that moment if they're experiencing such a chemical reaction?
00:56:28
Speaker
Again, we're assuming it's a murder note. Instead, I would like to assume that it's a warning. Perhaps, but I think what Maeve is driving at is, is this a setup? The letters on the death threats have been cut with scissors. The edges are sharp. The corners are neat. This is not something someone just like, friendzily ripped at to get the letters they wanted. They cut them specifically to craft the message and did so without using any of the thumbprints.
00:56:57
Speaker
Could that be because they used packages they had already opened prior to that, though? And if so, why would somebody who's consuming so many snack homes write a note saying that they're warning about some kind of murder or terrorist attack? My current theory is probably better said behind closed doors. But I would like to prove first that the technology involved is on site, which means I do need to finish building this Archon scanner. Of course.
00:57:27
Speaker
Well so, should we find out maybe who approved this being added to the wrappers? Maybe they can tell us more about it, unless nobody approved it and that would be weird, right? Brilliant question, Calamity. Kitsy, do you have any insight as to who approved this technology going into the labels? Just the prick. Probably Victor.
00:57:49
Speaker
Surprise. I like to manipulate, but I do like to put a little zhuzh on it. This one just seems straight up evil. I suspect it's even more evil. But again, I do want a little more proof before I start throwing accusations at people.
00:58:06
Speaker
If you're throwing accusations at Victor, I completely approve, darling. Whoopsie! I second kidsie. You talk about the evils of the candy company and Monty drops the basket. Evil? A candy company? What are you talking about? I love them! I just love them!
00:58:34
Speaker
and he throws his arms up and falls back and collapses. Maeve, when you were in the vault with the Empress, you were hit by the sparkle of the jewels being spun around on their display case with appropriate lighting. When Uncle Monty
00:58:55
Speaker
throws his arm wide and falls back and collapses onto the ground. You are briefly blinded by the red glare lining his jacket. His jacket flies open, completely lining the interior of his jacket are just rows upon rows of those little stamp size thumb prints that have been woven and connected into the inside of his jacket. And he's just like, I love it! I just love it!
00:59:27
Speaker
Lexi, I think we might need Uncle Monty to take off his jacket. Yeah, I was going to say, can I borrow that? You try to pull the jacket off of Monty and he clings to it like, no, no, don't take it away. I love it. I love it. Passes out. Yeah. Lexi, would you lend us a couple of your guards to get that jacket off of him? I want to see something. Guts!
00:59:52
Speaker
This is not the first time they've had to handle a struggling Uncle Monty, and in a matter of moments, uh, pry the jacket off of him. Can I have a look at the jacket, please? Yes. Uh, anything at all significant besides being lined with a snack in the trappers.
01:00:08
Speaker
These wrappers have all been painstakingly trimmed out. The Empress stares at them in confusion. You know, Monty's been the only one to really take advantage of the lifetime supply of snackums, but I had no idea it was doing anything like this.
01:00:27
Speaker
Empress, it might be a good idea for all of us to retire inside, take Monty with us so that way we can get to the bottom of this without the rest of the guests spreading stories about a situation they may completely misunderstand. She snaps her fingers, says, take him to his suite, the palace physician will
01:00:46
Speaker
Meet you there. If I'm done with Artran energy scanner, I'd like to hand it off to the two guards who have been approved to go back to the crown and have them go through the scans. You are trying to cobble together a Artran scanner for the use of laymen. Alternately, if it's easier, I would like to build them something that'll just allow me to use my Sonic from afar through that.
01:01:09
Speaker
So they just have to sort of bring it into the room, activate the scan and I'll just be scanning from afar. It depends on which one will be easier. They can relay the information that you want them to find. It's still going to be six of one and half a dozen of the other. Excellent. You're looking at an ingenuity and technology role plus two versus a difficulty of 18. Okay, we got a 17 with a six and a two on the dice. So I would like to spend a story point if possible to get it up there.
01:01:36
Speaker
So yes, you managed to put together an archron detector made out of spare security equipment in the palace.
01:01:46
Speaker
and sync it with your Sonic so that when they have something to report, you will receive it. Excellent. Is the Empress Uppress moving this party inside? Oh my yes. The two security men have helped Monty to his feet. This is not the first time they've had to pick him up. They help him inside, making it look like they're just helping him instead of, you know, friendly dragging.
01:02:15
Speaker
As we're walking inside, say to Maeve and to Calamity and of course to the Empress, it is deeply concerning that Uncle Monty was dealing with such a serious problem and rather than him getting the help he needed, he was switched from one drug simply to another.
01:02:31
Speaker
The security men make a point that must be true. He hasn't rifled the Brandy cabinet in months. He's been on the straight and narrow. It just looks like he chose a different way to not do that. As simple as a button press. And even now, he's just sort of like dazely.
01:02:53
Speaker
as they take him into his suite. It's the only way to sober him up a bit. You reach Monty's suite. The physician, an older looking woman, takes some medical scans and Maeve asks if there's anything they can do to sober him up. She looks at his heart rate, points out that it is elevated, like he might need rest
01:03:18
Speaker
but she could probably make him cognizant for maybe five minutes, but he would need rest after that. We might want to take advantage of those five minutes. The physician looks to the Fixer in Calamity and Maeve and the Empress and goes ahead and gives him a small dose of stimulant to bring him around.
01:03:40
Speaker
The minute his eyes are open, I'd like to say Uncle Monty, your warnings came through. I think you have saved the Empress and this entire Empire. I did?
01:03:52
Speaker
You did. Littering the floor, the bed, the desk, and every other inch of Monty's suite are wrappers, Snack'em's brand candy. Some have been folded into origami frogs to hide away in desks to annoy Deacon Hishup. Some have been cut up. There is a jar of paste and a ream of paper easily found at his desk.
01:04:19
Speaker
Thumbprint from each and every last one of them has been carefully snipped out. He's had them tailored into the jacket, which is now draped a nearby convenience chair. When he was like, I did, was that like surprised hopefulness or I don't know what you're talking about? More of the former than the latter, surprised hopefulness.
01:04:45
Speaker
I go to sleep and I wake up and there's paper everywhere. I have these little cuts all over my fingers and I get the dermal fixing form so I don't have, you know, I don't make a mess. But like, I don't remember doing these things half the time. I'm so tired. It's okay, Monty, you can rest now. But first, who started you on all this snack? Having so many of them.
01:05:13
Speaker
It was a gift pack, a special gift pack, it came in the post! Do you know who said it? It came right from the Snackums corporate office! Do you still have it? He's too weak to get out of bed, but he weakly points to the waste paper basket by his desk. Beneath a mountain of crinkly red cut paper, you are able to find the box of, and inside is the first commemorative box
01:05:43
Speaker
of imperial crystallized pineapple. Straight from the Snackham's corporate office, approved by the CEO himself. Dexter, do you think we can tell who sent this? I think we already know who sent this. I have a pretty good idea.
01:05:58
Speaker
Oh, why? If we're talking about the victor, why does he want to make Monty make a bunch of non-specific death threats? Like, how is that helpful? Problem he can solve and then look good? Do you think he could be in league with Khyber?
01:06:14
Speaker
The victor doesn't believe in solving problems. He believes in crushing them. And what better way to crush any problems he has in this sector than to simultaneously take control of the royal family while using those little things to be able to control what people can talk about, what people can think. If the data is upgradable, I mean, he could literally roll out new sets of forbidden thoughts and forbidden words to the entire populace of the Empire if he wanted to.
01:06:42
Speaker
And that's if I'm thinking that the victor's trying to be kind. If he's in a cruel mood, it could be way worse. There is a badi badit, the empress, gorgeous watch. 30 minutes to coronation, I need to go and prepare.
01:06:57
Speaker
And she gives signals to the security team like, don't leave them, do whatever they need you to do, but the coronation will go forward as planned. I will be Empress by sunset.
01:07:12
Speaker
Empress, do we have your permission to swap your crown for a different one? I still haven't gotten the data back from the security that we sent to scan the original. There was no data. Maeve came back. The crown jewels that are currently in the vault, the ones that Kitsi had a hand in designing, are gorgeous touch gaudy. Excuse me?
01:07:36
Speaker
There is no sign of any kind of receiver in the crown. What I will give you, because you have been absolutely ingenious about all of this, they find another one of those little origami frogs in the vault proper while they are looking around and scanning. And one of them holds it up like,
01:07:59
Speaker
No, why not? It just scans the thing. It does not pick up Artron energy. What it does pick up is that the candy bar wrapper contains smaller on the inside technology, like just a circuit basically meant to serve as an antenna to the now severed and cut off logo of the candy bar. Excellent. That's enough right there.
01:08:25
Speaker
Empress, you must be very careful what words you choose to use in your coronation. My deepest fear is that you will have a direct connection to all of your citizens in a way that no one person should have. Your interaction with them may directly impinge upon their brain chemicals.
01:08:44
Speaker
changing their behavior. And while I still have no proof of what exactly the victor has set up, the fact that Uncle Monty is in this state tells me that we cannot trust whatever plan is in place. Her eyes go wide. She reaches into a pocket and pulls out her last packet of crystallized pineapple. Still, Christine still hasn't been opened. She takes it in both hands. They've been marketing this for months.
01:09:13
Speaker
Every last person who's bought one of these snack packs is waiting to tear it open along with me on camera as a moment of mutual celebration so they can feel like they're a part of things, like we can have a moment of communion with their empress. Everyone was going to open one of these at the moment of celebration. I wouldn't recommend doing that.
01:09:41
Speaker
She opens her hand and there's just a slow motion shot of the crystallized pineapple package tumbling down bounce bounce bounce on the carpeting.
01:09:52
Speaker
So maybe we can just make this festive, right? Is there anything that would like just sort of physically block the, you know, whatever's in the logo from working? Like say if you had a particular thing over your thumb, like a very weird custom, you know, accessory that we could just say, hey, everybody, new plan. You should just do this as part of the celebration. Yay. It's the style. She opens and shuts her mouth
01:10:20
Speaker
I don't think everyone in the solar system has gloves. I don't want to assume that they all have gloves, but that's a fascinating idea. Perhaps you could bring it around as a traditional custom or something like that that you are wishing to revive. And I would just like to point out that Kipsy is in the background. She has a Snackems packet, which she has turned over upside down.
01:10:44
Speaker
I don't know what you're talking about, darling. I've never had a problem. And she's clawed one thing open, but like, flips it upside down so she's on the opposite side of the print. She never touches the thumbprint. Empress, I believe the glorious Kitsy Fancington has shown us the way. How? Anytime, darling.
01:11:06
Speaker
Kitsy, for the first time, you open one of these wrappers without, you know, having fun and tearing it up with a thumbprint. The crystallized pineapple doesn't smell that great. Like, there is no moment of
01:11:20
Speaker
Ah, when you skip past the joy of tearing it open like a kid at Christmas and just smell kind of stale, candied pineapple. Fixer, with your Sonic situated to receive a broadcast regarding Archron energy, you get a ping from vertically above you.
Confrontations and Consequences
01:11:44
Speaker
What is above us?
01:11:46
Speaker
The palace terrace, the tower atop the palace. To the terrace. Fixer starts heading for the elevator. The security team start to escort the Empress and the auditor just puts a hand on one of the security guy's shoulder as the Fixer makes his way to the elevator by himself.
01:12:09
Speaker
The auditor looks at Calamity and Maeve and waits for the doors to slide shut on the fixer and shakes his head. We have to stop holding his hand sometime. He's got to face him himself. I don't like that. Oh, it's fine. You'll be fine, darling. Moopsie curls up on her pillow and just stonks out.
01:12:33
Speaker
Calamity starts fiddling with her briefcase, just in case she wants to go up very fast for some reason. Calamity, you opened up the briefcase inside Monty's suite, because of course you do. Inside are pieces of a rocket.
01:12:54
Speaker
This is clearly not what was advertised as like a rocket you can climb in and drive like a speeder. This is a rocket you can swing a leg over and get onto like a speeder or one of those rides at a carousel. It comes with its own pack of fuel. It has all the pieces of what appears to be a working jet engine. Does it have like an air supply?
01:13:21
Speaker
Unfortunately, air supply has not been included with the purchase. They had to cram every last inch with the wiring and the tubing and the piping for building your own vacuum cleaner sized rocket. Neat.
01:13:35
Speaker
Calamity, give us a ingenuity and technology role if you have any technology to begin the process of putting this together. Maeve, when the Fixer mentioned Kyber, you briefly
01:13:54
Speaker
had a thought about your adoptive father. Like that same kind of, I know better than you, I'm going to manage you, I'm going to make sure you do what I want. Is Lexi still here? Lexi is about to leave for last preparations for the coronation proper. Lexi, has Kyber had any bright ideas about what might happen during this coronation?
01:14:20
Speaker
There is a sparkle in her eye. She says, oh, you've all given me plenty of bright ideas. And she gives a savvy little smirk. I knew somebody like Kyvo from one adopted kid to another. Keep an eye out for him. Blazer on trail.
01:14:40
Speaker
She realizes you're coming from a place of genuine concern and says, I appreciate that. I do. My hands are somewhat tied. He's already a majority stakeholder in snackums. It's going to take a massive amount of capital to match his stake in the company, his in the victors. We're absolutely not going to let him get away with any sort of manipulative machinations. Absolutely not. Might I go, if he's not in there, have a look around his rooms?
01:15:10
Speaker
around Kyber's rooms? Yeah. Absolutely, sure. Calamity, are you just gonna keep tinkering on the rocket with Kitsy? Yes, I will, you know, eyeball it to see if we really do need to bring it outside before we assemble it or like won't fit through a door, but... It'll fit through a door, but you should not climb on this thing in here. Um, the only way out other than a...
01:15:31
Speaker
door is the window that is sealed shut with lead-pane glass. We cut to the fixer who steps out of the elevators tastefully concealed as a cabinet.
01:15:46
Speaker
and steps out onto the rooftop terrace of the palace. From here, going down in directions panoramically, you can see the shimmer of the force field that's protecting the palace and the royal grounds in the capital city below. It is a long way down. You are up quite high. There are clouds beneath where you are on the palace rooftop.
01:16:15
Speaker
There are a handful of hovering officially approved camera drones that are going to capture the moment of the Empress' speech, not only to the nation, but to the solar system en masse when the coronation is complete and they make the announcement from up here. Do I notice the symbols on the floor?
01:16:37
Speaker
The one that matters is the circle enclosing the big red thingy. The big red thingy in question is a broadcast tower. While you were chasing leads on an assassin, the victor excused himself and said, I have more important things to do, came up here and has been putting last finishing touches on the tower broadcast. And when you step off of
01:17:07
Speaker
the elevator, he just hits a button and a shimmer rises up around the broadcast tower. You can smell the ionized air from here. There is a force field personally surrounding the broadcast tower from here.
01:17:24
Speaker
Okay, first things first, sidestep to the right, so I'm not in that circle. Look at the victor and say, so you had the opportunity to tap directly into the brain chemicals of countless species across this empire. You could have brought them a day of happiness that could have led them to an eon of peace.
01:17:43
Speaker
But you and I both know you didn't do that. He smirks to himself, reaches into a pocket, and tears open a snackum's bag of salted peanuts and cashews. You know, I'm glad that you're here at the end to see it all come together. And he reaches in and tosses a couple of nuts into his mouth and crunches.
01:18:09
Speaker
I'm excited to be here too, truthfully. You know, I've been waiting for this moment for a long time. So, I know you think you are going to win, but the sad, sad part is, you've already lost. Ugh, think so. What happened to you? I've brought a family together, I've brought a solar system into one yoke, revolutionized how this entire solar system does business and gotten them to say thank you.
01:18:39
Speaker
like giving candy to a baby. And we've done that. And you want to stop things right as they tick into place. They're cogs.
01:18:51
Speaker
And they turn how I tell them to turn. That's how we do things. Slowly, properly, thoroughly. Pulls out a pocket watch, clicks it open. And in 12 minutes time, Empress becomes the most important person in the solar system, if she wasn't already. Brought to you, brought to everyone by Snackins. We're everywhere.
01:19:23
Speaker
Oh god, you just become a common drug dealer and you're not even good at it. God, you're disappointing, Victor. You're disappointing, and the worst part is, you know that. That's why you're trying so hard. What? Disappointing? Profoundly. I disappoint you. You stun me with your naivety.
01:19:47
Speaker
You disappointed me on countless occasions. Fixer, always getting down on your hands and knees, getting your dirt under your fingernails, scrabbling around for these short little lives. Well, I'm actually up here in the stratosphere creating order, creating an entire system and accomplish things you haven't even begun to appreciate yet. I disappoint you.
01:20:14
Speaker
You did get one thing right, at which point I'm gonna get down on one knee, pull off the hat, reach into it, and pull out a ring. Victor, there's one chance left for a happy ending here. Are you asking me out on a date?
01:20:30
Speaker
of sorts. Let's go travel all of time and space. You said yourself, you think of these beings as nothing more than flies. What if we found things that were more exciting to you? As I said, we found where the Osiris all died. How many other ancient species are out there that might tickle your fancy more than playing with these people? Dear boy, what makes you think I need fixing?
01:20:55
Speaker
You're alone, at the top of a tower, in an empire of people who don't know you. And?
01:21:02
Speaker
The widening chasm of loneliness between you and anyone who's ever cared about you is so visible that it hurts. Awareness and intuition, you are at advantage, but he is also going to roll at disadvantage, presence and convince. So yes, give us your awareness and intuition plus two because this is someone you've known all of your life.
01:21:31
Speaker
the victor rolls snake eyes okay so don't roll snake eyes don't roll snake eyes okay okay we got a 15 with a four and a four on the dice not for the first time you are blindsiding him by talking about feelings when he's trying to show off
01:21:49
Speaker
the master plan and you're talking about feelings disappointing you it is getting under his skin he is doing his usual job composing himself thank goodness may not appear to punch him
01:22:04
Speaker
but there is some redness in his cheeks of outrage of how dare you talk to him like this. I am not gonna move. I'm just gonna hold that position. Hat extended in one hand, ring extended in the other. He reaches out, puts his hand over yours, closing your own hand around the ring. And says, thank you, but no.
01:22:29
Speaker
Excellent, he's touching me in that moment. Drop hat to the side, grab out Sonic's screwdriver, and whip it towards the TARDIS, activate the TARDIS' ability to affect friction, and friction both of us right off the side of this tower. I have three remaining, I will use all three.
01:22:44
Speaker
Three Story Points is a minor change, so you are going to have to roll. Given the heightened emotions, I would say that Calamity and Maeve can absolutely throw in Story Point support because you are trying to activate a thing on the far side of a security force field that was designed to keep things like that out while you're trying to do this thing that is going to drain the TARDIS of heavy power. Oh yes, I'm happy to donate. Yes, me as well.
01:23:13
Speaker
Marvelous. What are we looking for? Do you just want us to shout out numbers? Please! Comment below. Yeah, let us know how many story points you are willing to contribute to this moment.
01:23:22
Speaker
I will happily give three of my five. Like I'll save the other two just in case Rocket things happen. I think that's smart. I will also give three. Holy crap. Okay. So with a total of nine story points, yeah, good teamwork. So you get the victor close enough to you and put his hand on top of yours and condescendingly say to you, no, I'm saying no.
01:23:48
Speaker
And that's when you put your hand on top of his. Reach into your pocket and grab out your Sonic and activate. Cut to the interior of the Fixer's TARDIS as glass piping around the TARDIS suddenly fills with light as pipes here and there suddenly get very hot very quickly and glow brighter.
01:24:13
Speaker
and brighter. There is Gallifreyan text throwing itself across the screen as the TARDIS groans and wheezes and primes as it tries to activate this force of friction as a wave towards the top of the palace.
01:24:35
Speaker
And sure enough, with the concentration involved of story points contributed from a team of players who have faced the victor again and again, together, thwarting him right and left, from inside the TARDIS watch shop, every single clock fasted, tick, tick, tick, TALK!
01:24:59
Speaker
and a beam builds in friction and builds and builds and builds as a wave of superheated air slices right through the industrial strength force field that has been built and a shimmer of hexagons shatters as the wave of superheated air continues to rise
01:25:25
Speaker
The victor struggles with your hand, realizing he can't get free of yours anymore when there is a sudden scraping through the air as the top of the actual force field protecting the broadcast tower shatters and overloads. The explosion that brings out throws the victor and the fixer off the tower.
01:25:55
Speaker
Cut to Calamity, who has been building a rideable rocket, hopefully outside. If she did eventually drag it outside, it would be slightly more plausible for her to know what the hell is happening at this moment than if she is inside a building. Calamity is putting together a miniature rocket from a suitcase. Maeve, is Maeve helping Calamity put this together? Yeah, I will help.
01:26:21
Speaker
Yeah, your teeth are itching before a storm, but instead of a storm, it's friction energy that you have personally experienced in the Old West, courtesy of the attrition scepter. And you can feel there's growing tension in the air before there's suddenly a snap. And as that tension is building calamity,
01:26:42
Speaker
You'll be darned if this thing is not actually pretty easy to put together, like one, two, three, the steps should be clipping together. Kitsy and Moopsie watch in delight and confusion as Calamity puts together this rocket. Moopsie.
01:26:59
Speaker
yeah as as as calamity is assembling it she's just sort of like talking to herself as she is and like Mavis handing her things and holding things in place and it's like yeah so it's like luck is luck is not really a thing right it's just um it it is it is the the combination of of having the opportunity to do a thing and having you know prepared to do a thing that's all so it's important to just
01:27:23
Speaker
Prepare randomly sometimes, and then eventually something's going to happen to make that useful. I think that might be some of the best advice anybody has ever given me, Cloudy. And that's when Maeve pulls out a saddle from the rocket. And the saddle is long enough to accommodate two sitting on this miniature rocket. Fixer!
01:27:47
Speaker
You pinwheel out of the air, building speed. You and the Victor fly neatly right between two of those drones, those camera drones that are up there, as one of them is just sliced in half by the friction.
Rocket Adventures
01:28:02
Speaker
At the TARDIS, the clock faces crack.
01:28:05
Speaker
and splinter under the strain of this kind of use as the glass windows inside the TARDIS shatter outward with the force of the blast. Fixer, you and the victor are gripping onto each other holding for dear life.
01:28:24
Speaker
How does it feel to be the Mayfly this time? You tell me, he shouts. Calamity. There are two really tiny dots up there that are starting to get a little bigger. Really, really, really, really fast. Did you know that this thing has a pressure scale where if you get on the rocket, it can immediately take off? What are the odds? Sounds great. So yeah, I, hey May, we should both get on this right now and you should probably sit up front because full disclosure, I do not know how to fly any vehicle whatsoever.
01:28:55
Speaker
I can fly TARDIS sometimes, kind of. Close enough. Let's go for that. Oh hop on. Give me a coordination and technology role, the two of you please, for holding onto a rocket for dear life as it shoots skyward.
01:29:12
Speaker
Do I roll with disadvantage because I have nothing in technology? Well that's- I was hoping transportation would work out for Maeve since she's been- Transportation works! You are being transported! Okay. Kipsy's gonna take like the smallest half step back and just turn to the security guards and be like, I know them. It'll be fine. Moopsie puts on little tiny sunglasses. So I have an 11 with nothing special.
01:29:36
Speaker
Same. Well, that's two 11s. How many story points do the two of you still have? 22 total. Would you like to pool your story points? Is that something you'd like to consider because your 11s are not great?
01:29:50
Speaker
Yeah, that does seem worthwhile here. I could be willing. Kitzy also has five points, and Mupsi has three that we are definitely willing to gift what is needed. Good luck, darling! It is also deeply important in my soul. When we take off, when we actually start moving, I like glance at the security people and tap the yellow thing.
01:30:18
Speaker
Calamity, add one story point. You now have one story point after spending them all. There is suddenly a pineapple-scented whoosh as the rocket, nave and calamity, astride rockets into the sky towards the victor and the fixer. The auditor steps out of the palace like,
01:30:40
Speaker
Yes, did you know there's some really fascinating minutiae in the p- Oh dear, that's- And watches, uh, with no ability to help whatsoever as you take off into the sky. Fixer. Your two best friends are now approaching at speed while you are accelerating faster and faster in their general direction. Can I get a coordination?
01:31:04
Speaker
And survival, if you have it. Roll. Throw that on there, please. It does seem like a relevant goal. Mm-hmm! Oh my, yes! Nate is barely looking where she's going. She's bent over the controls, like, I don't know what this button does, but I'm gonna press it! Got a 4 and a 6 for a total of 15.
01:31:23
Speaker
that's lovely with that six on the dice there is not a hint of surprise on your face that things worked out this way that you would take a leap and they would be there to catch you you are still grappling with the victor as mave flying up past you reaches out of hand and you
01:31:43
Speaker
take it and are huge up up and away and your other hand loosens and the victor looks wide eyed as he continues to pinwheel down down down and
01:32:02
Speaker
mashing right through the awning of the Snackems display, collapsing the entire thing. The rocket is going higher and higher and there are proximity detectors that you're approaching force fields and turning might be a good idea. Maeve, you are now piloting this thing with one hand while holding on to the fixer with the other.
01:32:25
Speaker
Can I get coordination and survival rolls from you in Calamity? Please, that'd be great. If you could help the Fixer survive, I'm sure they'd appreciate that. I would. Jump on snake eyes. A six and a two for twelve. There's a six up there, we like that. Nice. So yes, I've got an eight with a one on one of the dice.
01:32:50
Speaker
We're trying our best. You are trying your best. So if there's any indication that Calamity is causing more of a problem than an assistance, she is very ready to leap off of the rocket rather than cause problems to the other people, and then she will just solve that problem later.
01:33:11
Speaker
I think we've committed to enough miracles in air quotes for one day. Well, I had an idea for that, but sure. What is Calamity's idea? Well, if this does indeed seem like a thing that would solve their immediate problem of Calamity unbalancing the rocket or whatever, she would just like...
01:33:30
Speaker
basically like as she's falling backwards like get out her communicator thing and just keep sending a text over and over again that is like the time that is written you know that is on the device the current time and don't look down don't look down don't look down just come later
01:33:48
Speaker
Who are you trying to text? I'm confused. I have not connected the dots. So this is Calamity's first attempt at temporal engineering. Nice. She is telling them, this is the time right now that Calamity is in a great deal of danger. Do not look at her with your eyes so that you know what is going to happen that you are going to go back and then make BOK. Gotcha. You know, that's the kind of brand of crazy that we like to go for.
01:34:16
Speaker
And the thing is that Dora has no idea if this kind of shenanigans actually works in the Doctor Who universe, because I'm not that familiar with it, so it's
Final Showdown and Resolution
01:34:22
Speaker
fine. They tend not to. They've done it on very special occasions, like season premieres and season finales kind of things, where they really screw with time a bit. You jump off like, okay, I've got an idea. Give the Fixer your spot on the rocket as you tumble through space.
01:34:43
Speaker
cuts to the victor as he's flying down approaching maximum velocity and he hears the groan of something traveling in time when a giant self-inflating bag erupts from a collection of cardboard boxes that have been situated out back behind the palace for over a week now. We didn't we don't know who signed the requisition but it's been there for ages
01:35:12
Speaker
Like it had the Imperial stamp on it, so we had to go with it, it's fine. The giant cushion that emerges from this thing gets to maximum fullness just in time for calamity to land right in the center of its quote unquote coordinates. And the look of just, oh, you've got to be kidding me as the victor.
01:35:36
Speaker
mashes into the Snackems tent. Maeve, can we get a coordination and transport role? Fixer, please chip in on transportation here to land the rocket sooner rather than later.
01:35:49
Speaker
Quick question, does it look like the broadcasting tower was damaged by the friction wave, or does it look like we still have to deal with the broadcasting tower? The broadcasting tower, the force field on it has been utterly destroyed by the sheer magnitude of the fricative wave that you sent out. The broadcaster itself, it does look like the whole top of the tower has been shorn completely off. Oh, okay, good. And what skills were we using for this test? Coordination and transportation.
01:36:17
Speaker
I got a 5 and a 4, 14. Okay, got a 2 and a 6 on the dice for a total of 13. Between Maeve's 14 and your 6 on the dice, we're going to say that you just barely manage to land the rocket. It is not a clean landing, it is not a tidy landing. Neither you nor Maeve have expressed much skill in the landing.
01:36:41
Speaker
of fast-moving objects, chronological or otherwise, right in front of the auditor's astonished face and his jaw hangs open as you guys throw a leg off. Since the moment Maeve caught the Fixer's arm, she's been screaming just like profanity from all over the galaxy that she's picked up and then trying to steer this rocket and she doesn't stop until the moment they're fully stopped on the ground.
01:37:08
Speaker
In my mind's eye, I'm seeing the news cameras that are floating around capturing all of this. The following statements cannot be verified by the Imperial Family. As Maeve swears up a storm and people are gasping and fainting and things. That was amazing!
01:37:34
Speaker
Your shoulder isn't a blinding amount of pain as you have dislocated your arm, catching someone traveling at near impossible speeds while you are flying in the other direction. Also, ow. From somewhere in the middle of the giant airbag, Calamity is just like, woo, time. Maeve, are you OK? I think there's something wrong with my shoulder and it's like hanging at a bad angle. Is my arm OK?
01:38:02
Speaker
You hear a very loud, nasty pop as you nigh reattach Maeve's arm, putting it back in its socket. Calamity, are you okay? I think so, apparently. Good job. You haven't done yet, but probably should now.
01:38:17
Speaker
Tall, good-looking security men weighed across the inflated cushion to assist Calamity out of the cushion that saved her life. Your smartphone, which is somehow still in your hand, is completely out of minutes. You have never asked yet to send messages through time before.
01:38:39
Speaker
And in your frenzied rush, you're not exactly sure what you were texting. You might have been texting the TARDIS directly. Who the hell knows right now? But you're in one piece, so bully. We have to go check on the victor. Fixer. You approach the candy-colored carnage as tentpoles still somehow magically sticking upright.
01:38:58
Speaker
fall over, revealing where the victor is lying in an incredibly broken pile. He looks at you, is having an incredibly difficult time, but he mouths words. Oh yeah, I'm gonna make the mistake. I'm gonna run right over to him, scoop him up in my arms.
01:39:17
Speaker
openly weeping. He looks like a doll that has fallen off the shelf, and while the clothes of the doll are still intact, you can tell underneath that the limbs inside are broken in akimbo directions. He coughs. There's blood and sparks of gold on his lip. He looks at you. You know, I didn't actually think you had it in you to kill me.
01:39:46
Speaker
Victor, I'm sorry I couldn't fix us. A look passes over his face. There was nothing to fix on your side of things. Pocket. My pocket.
01:40:01
Speaker
and he looks down at his jacket. Reach in. You reach in and find wrapping paper, candy bar wrapping, but actual wrapping paper as you pull a cylinder out with a little ribbon in Time Lord Crimson and gold. Early graduation gift.
01:40:23
Speaker
I'm going to put it down next to him and say, I'll open that in a moment. What can I do for you? He laughs for the last time. Don't you think you've done enough?
01:40:39
Speaker
and he explodes in flame and light burning away the pain burning away the indignity of losing to you again enveloping him completely from head to toe as a
01:40:54
Speaker
Woman sits up in his clothes and she's got black-brown curls of hair, a look of utter bafflement on her face. Looks, oh my, oh, oh, is that, that's my voice, no. She gets to her feet, like, oh, different center of balance, that'll take getting well. And she just shrugs off the jacket that doesn't fit anymore and says,
01:41:23
Speaker
This has been a learning experience. I was not expecting this at all. Live and learn. I'm going to go. I think I've done enough here. You all have more than enough on your hand. She tries to back up and that's when she backs into two more men in black suits.
01:41:43
Speaker
but they are not security. She looks to the fixer with an, oh crap, on her face of the greatest possible magnitude. These are not members of staff security. These are members of an organization that reports to Time Lords. They take Victoria by both shoulders and say, you've done quite enough for one lifetime.
01:42:10
Speaker
and before she can try to convince them otherwise one reaches over to the other's wrist and
01:42:20
Speaker
Time Lords have just arrested the victor for crimes against a solar system. There's nothing left of him except the jacket. Fixer, you pick up the graduation present.
Gifts and Transformation
01:42:35
Speaker
I'd also like to pick up his jacket if that's okay. It smells like him. I'm gonna hold it very close and just look down at the gift, look over at Maeve and Calamity and say, is it terrible that even in this moment I'm afraid to open this?
01:42:49
Speaker
I'm just gonna walk over and put a hand on Fixto's shoulder. It's your choice, if and when. Well, there's really only two possibilities, right? It's something genuinely nice, or it's one last chance for him to win, which would be nice for him. Yeah, it would mean a lot to him. Okay. Start gently unwrapping the present.
01:43:10
Speaker
You're confused at first that under the paper, you find it's not wrapping paper, it's something rolled up and you tear off the rest of the wrapping and unroll a magazine, knitting for girls. This magazine looks decades old and wrapped up inside are a pair of crochet hooks and knitting needles. Hold them very close to my chest and just start crying.
01:43:40
Speaker
cut to. The hoverbots, the drones that survived remaining are broadcasting to support satellites without using the victor's signal. Empress Lexi VII, looking astonishing, is addressing the people of the solar system about the brave new era Bernese can look forward to.
01:44:04
Speaker
And she says, you know what? I've gotten rather sick of pineapple. And drops the commemorative candy unopened to the floor. Across the solar system, people watching at home who have been waiting for this moment to rip into this thing and have a thing are like,
01:44:22
Speaker
I mean, pineapple? Really? Eh, just give me a chocolate. And they just drop the discarded, unopened, unused Snacom's packages of crystallized pineapple. Cut to the TARDIS. It is surrounded by security teams who are scanning it and sweeping up glass, watching to see if it does anything else outrageous or dangerous as Fixer and company approach.
Farewells and Future Plans
01:44:48
Speaker
Hold open the door.
01:44:49
Speaker
for each one of the companions to enter, turn to Kitsi and say, you know you're welcome to come with us if you'd like.
01:44:56
Speaker
I have considered it, darling, and Moopsie and I have had quite the conversation, but the real deal is there's ever so much stock to buy him snackums, and we'll be very, very busy. And Moopsie turns around and bonks Kitsy, and then looks at Fixer and goes, Mo, Mo, Maxo! And blows a kiss. Aww. Kitsy? Yes, darling?
01:45:24
Speaker
Would you do me a favor? This Khyber fellow, he's a bit of a competition for the majority shareholder, correct? Oh, I know how to handle Khyber, but you go on my darling. If you hear anything, you know, particularly juicy or good about him, would you send it my way? Imperial blackmail. Anytime. And then Kitzie's just going to turn around, smoke it like it's stroking, moopsie, and walk off to her hot pink rocket ship.
01:45:54
Speaker
You climb aboard the TARDIS. There are alarms going off. The TARDIS looks rough. This model of ship was never designed to accommodate energy output like that, let alone try to recreate friction manipulating forces of reality picked up from the scepter of attrition and a cursory look
01:46:20
Speaker
Over readings reveals the TARDIS cannot do that again without a serious expense of its own story points So that this does not become a running thing you can use it in the future But it will tax the TARDIS place a hand on the console and say you did an amazing job today You saved us all
01:46:44
Speaker
There is a tired ging, ging, ging, ging of the bells. The auditor puts a hand on your shoulder and looks at the knitting needles and the Knitting for Girls magazine. I know that wasn't easy, but I do believe you did the right thing. You've saved an entire solar system from these machinations.
01:47:09
Speaker
I think I just need just a few moments. I just want to change out of this outfit and I'll be right back. Head over to the room, gently put the knitting needles and the magazine on a very prominent place in the room. Change it to my usual outfit. Pick up the Victor's coat, put it on, and walk out with the Victor's coat on.
01:47:30
Speaker
Outstanding. You are wearing a tuxedo jacket with gold and crimson Time Lord trim. This was what the victor was expecting to wear in a moment of triumph. Thankfully the tent and the regeneration kept most of the blood off, but you are wearing a tuxedo jacket that has seen much better days. As I step out, look to the auditor, look to Maeve, look to Calamity, and say, so where are we off to next?
01:47:57
Speaker
Can we go a week ago and deliver some airbags? The auditor looks up from the ticker tape machine of the dispatch and says, why do we have to go to a week ago? And starts plugging in coordinates to take you back a week ago. Fixer, can you give us an ingenuity and transport role to pilot the Tarnas, please? This always goes well. Right? Oh, what a perfect role for that moment. Got a one and a five for a total of 13.
01:48:28
Speaker
The TARDIS wheezes as it fades and fades into the vortex and hangs in the emptiness for one moment as it starts to settle it down into one of the time tunnels to go back to a week ago.
01:48:44
Speaker
When it is struck from behind by an enemy ship as an actual collision with the defenses weakened, alarms start going off across the TARDIS left and right. A temporal wake drags you behind this ship. The engine stops mid-grown as cracks form around the central column.
01:49:08
Speaker
as your TARDIS is pulled out of control behind another time-faring vessel into the void.
01:49:37
Speaker
And that is where we are going to conclude things today with the ruling class part two of story 11 of Anywhere But Now.
01:49:49
Speaker
Holy crap, that did unfold in ways I was not expecting. Dear God, well done. Kudos to the lot of you. That was some very inventive storytelling and use of story points. Bravo, brava, bravix. I would like to thank all of our players for joining us. Calamity, way to bring back the suitcase rocket. That was well done. That was really well done.
01:50:17
Speaker
Fixer, we have been building to this for a while. The victor is an old friend, is an old enemy, an adversary. Now the fixer's wearing his jacket like the skin of an animal that he has conquered. Hunters would turn that into a shawl or something, or make it part of a jacket, or a pair of boots, and here you are wearing the jacket of a friend that you helped knock off a tower. How are you feeling right now? How is the fixer feeling?
01:50:46
Speaker
heartbroken that in the end they weren't able to redeem the victor. That despite all of the moments that we gave them to see that light of day, to make the right choice, the victor was so focused on their own pride that their inevitable fall came.
01:51:07
Speaker
but it's an arm break. I didn't know you had it in you, honestly. I was completely blown away by your decision not only to use that moment to lure him in. Like I thought I was the one being manipulative and crafty and everything and you're like, gotcha.
01:51:23
Speaker
Holy crap. Very, very well done. Start the next episode with six story points. Holy God. Maeve, Maeve has been through the wringer of sorts. There was a flashback to earlier times, especially with- The father figure. But you got to see Kid again, that was nice. What's Maeve thinking and feeling having just helped strike a blow against corporate oversight with Snackums?
01:51:54
Speaker
I think Maeve is feeling, I don't know that she's really spent a lot of time thinking about her time growing up with her family or everything that she went through with her dad. You know, sometimes you just go through something and then you just leave it behind and you don't really ever stop and process it. And I think that this has kind of, with Kyber reminding her so much of her father has forced her to stop and process something that happened to her that was incredibly significant to the way she thinks about herself.
01:52:24
Speaker
That makes a lot of sense. This mod has been challenging. It has undergone quite the rewrite since its original initial form. Partly just out of necessity, partly out of the choices you guys made and everything. Maeve's trip to the past for what is essentially a wild goose chase.
01:52:47
Speaker
was used to help connect the dots that the hunt for the assassin was in itself a bit of a cover, a bit of a blind for other things going on. And, well, we're gonna keep the heroes busy with this thing while the bad guy's doing something over here. Being able to tie it back to family and character and backstory just tightens those screws just that little bit more digging them into the wood. I couldn't resist the opportunity. I hope that was okay.
01:53:16
Speaker
Oh, it was totally fine. Calamity, hi! Howdy. Rocket gal, how are you doing?
01:53:23
Speaker
Well, so the thing that I like best about this is that, you know, the sentiment that Calamity expressed while building the rocket about luck is basically how we do business here on the show. Like, we did not pre-plan any of this, like, we did not talk to each other off-band before sessions about what we're going to do. We just do things and have faith in each other that we will find a way to make it work.
01:53:51
Speaker
And it does. And it, I mean, story points used... I mean, not cheap sometimes, but... Oh my no. Those were some major, major actions you guys took. And they do cost a lot of story points to pull off. And you did pull them off, even earning another story point in the process, which was its own kind of impressive. No one's ever done that before. Kudos! Kitsy, my darling Kitsy. Welcome back. Welcome back.
01:54:21
Speaker
Yeah, so we were setting up like castle intrigue and things like that and it didn't really sing so much we moved on to other things like Conspiracy and rockets and briefcases and it really worked out. Don't you think?
01:54:38
Speaker
it really worked out and when I think about all of the changes that this mod has gone through and how many hours of walks have added up in us discussing back and forth what needed to change or how did we add seconds or how did this you know come back around to here like I mean like I have like a page
01:55:02
Speaker
like a page of notes that like we just never even like it just never went in that direction. And as ever, I am delighted, impressed, and completely surprised by what you all decide to do. But more rockets and briefcases, please. More rockets and briefcases. More rockets and briefcases. I mean, Calamity's never taking that yellow thing off. That little pip, that fire starter pip, as of honor.
01:55:31
Speaker
That moment when you just tapped it towards the security guard, just 100% perfection. One of my favorite things is when we just toss a detail in and it becomes a nice little brick joke later.
01:55:48
Speaker
Like, the pips, we're never gonna come back, we're never gonna be used for anything, but like, yeah, no, Calamity started fires before, and the victor remembers that, so he's gonna make sure that there are forces in place to prevent her from starting more fires. Look how that turned out. Yeah, really, it's another time thing, like, like, Calamity, when she got that, she was like,
01:56:08
Speaker
Like, she probably doesn't have the phrase, self-fulfilling prophecy, like, in her vocabulary yet, but she was thinking along those lines. She's like, it feels like this is it there. It does feel like causality was kind of like, I dare you. Okay, I double dog dare you.
01:56:27
Speaker
A triple dog dare you? Well, freaking done. I would like to go around. Were there highlights? Were there things you enjoyed that other players did today? I really have to give it to Caden for Maeve's interactions with the Empress. Because after most of a season of talking to power and not blinking and not flinching about it, I feel like set Maeve up to be in that position of like, yeah, no, I talk to important people all the time. It just goes with the job.
01:56:57
Speaker
really nice role play with the Empress. The way I notice is when we stop doing roles and just talk in character and you give her little ideas. Brand really impressed me. I feel like every time we play you become just a little more time lordy. Like you get more and more into it and you just do like more and more invented stuff. It's incredibly impressive to watch. Oh thank you. I really appreciate that.
01:57:22
Speaker
Yes, I was gonna say, yeah, much the same thing that Kay said, but like in a more broad sense that just Maeve, like Maeve was like on this thing, like a, you know, like a terrier, like right from the get-go, like she was literally on a mission and it was, you know, there was no stopping her. It was just like, okay, here we go. I think Maeve's a little smitten with Lexi.
01:57:53
Speaker
It might be mutual. I don't know if you're even aware, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching your face when new clues would unfold about the origami frogs and the fact that the logos were missing from them and they're all from Snackums and everything like, oh, you were in it. You were watching and soaking up those clues and everything. It was so satisfying to watch. Oh, fantastic. Fantastic.
01:58:20
Speaker
I would actually like to give mad props to Dora. I love the fact that you have played your character in such a profound way that at this point I am willing to do things like launch myself off a roof with complete faith that you got my back. That was awesome and I appreciate you. Thank you.
01:58:37
Speaker
Yeah, no, my metaphorical hat is off to all of you. I did not know how exactly you would end things, how you would finish things or fix them. I did feel it was a little important for the Fixer and the Victor to have at least one last heart-to-hearts for themselves, let alone a top of mighty tower looking down on the people like ants below.
01:59:02
Speaker
That felt very on theme for me, and thank you for rolling with it. Damn, there were some satisfying bits in there. Oh, heck yeah. Heck yeah. I gotta say, it was so joyful in that moment of falling, just being able to throw it in the victor's face that he referred to humans as mayflies. I'm a little disappointed I didn't get to punch him again. That was the punch heard around the galaxy.
01:59:26
Speaker
He has never forgotten that punch. Yeah. Crashing through the Snackems tent seemed like a strong choice. Dora freaking kudos on the, oh, I'll just text a time machine. I'll just text time to see how I get out of this.
01:59:43
Speaker
I mean, I'm not familiar with Doctor Who, like, lore hardly at all, right? But I am... That's a weird thing, because I am deeply familiar with all other time travel lore. It is a thing I think about, like, people think about the Roman Empire, right? Like, this is my thing, so... I have a variety of things queued up, and I'm just waiting for Calamity to catch up. Doing things out of order, having effect arrive before cause, is one of those really satisfying, huh,
02:00:13
Speaker
of time travel stories that I thoroughly enjoy like screwing with time is one of my personal pleasures of this game like just the genre of game let alone this podcast and the fact that calamity came up with her own with a story point to burn on it throw it in there devil make hair
02:00:33
Speaker
I need something soft to land on. Help, please. Help, please, now. Don't look down. Incredible. Just incredible. Gitsi, thank you so much for providing that hoity-toity flavor that is a requisite of the fancy events. I am grateful that you were here to contribute in that way. And of course, we always love seeing and hearing Mupsi.
02:00:54
Speaker
You know. No, Kitsy's whole deal is always delightful. Yay! Everything she says is just fun to listen to. Absolutely. And we'll see how it comes out, but it was like, I hope the Fixer does feel honored that Moobsie has learned one other word, and it is Fixer.
02:01:15
Speaker
Yeah, does anyone have any questions or anything like that before we wrap up? So one of the things I always enjoy Kate is made giving the breaks out and how she's gonna report on the day's event So could I request that? Awesome, and I really enjoy that estimate
02:01:30
Speaker
Oh no, I think Maeve would report on Lexi and I think that she would report on Lexi as kind of an enigma and not necessarily positive or negative. Like there would definitely be quotes like especially what she would say to people who are not with her, but I think the tone of the article would be like, I respect this person like you respect your opponent in chess.
02:01:53
Speaker
I dig that. Lexi's an interesting character to get in that headspace of, well, here's this person who has the charisma of any dozen people and has the power of not only the throne, but the solar system at her command now that other people have put these deals together and brought her to its apex.
02:02:14
Speaker
not fully understanding who she is or what she is capable of as she takes the reins away from them. And that X factor made it really exciting for me, especially like, oh, and she's flirtatious with Maeve. Okay, why not? Yeah. No, that works. That actually, that does, that does be my brand for her. I dig it.
02:02:33
Speaker
Well, I think this is something that Calamity probably doesn't have at the top of her head. The door is excited about is the whole closing the loop that there's going to be like basically, you know, tragic melancholy episodes because we have met an earlier version of the victory that we haven't done yet. Like he brought that up.
02:02:51
Speaker
He has met us at an our future time that he referred to that we haven't done yet. So now we're going to do that. And we know how that all ends. And it's like so it's like sad and complicated at the same time, which is going to be delicious. I think you have no idea.
02:03:08
Speaker
Like, very specific pins have been put in place with the Victor and his companions and all of that time travel rigmarole. And I am so glad we got to at least the start of the payoff of taking up knitting yet with the Victor actually being one to give you the knitting for Girls' Magazine.
02:03:28
Speaker
That is not my own idea. There is an episode from Steven Moffat's line of Matt Smith stories, The 11th Doctor, where on an extremely dangerous mission where he's trying to meet someone who wants him dead at a bar full of rowdy aliens, The 11th Doctor in a cowboy hat is casually flipping through, knitting for girls. And I wanted to know why.
02:03:52
Speaker
I think I remember that episode. And I know why, and the Fixer's gonna find out why over the course of time and things, but like, I could not resist that Time Lord eccentricity of like, yeah he's here to meet someone once I'm dead, he's reading about knitting for girls, it's cool.
02:04:07
Speaker
That's a wonderful time. Thank you. It's fun. Yeah, there were a couple. There were a couple. The victor and the fixer falling off of the broadcast tower is a not so subtle shout out to Legopolis, a climax between the master and the doctor, also atop a broadcast tower that involved one of them falling to their deaths. It seemed dramatic and high stakes. And here we were for exactly that. So, you know, if you're going to steal, steal from the best.
02:04:36
Speaker
And finally, to our listeners, another big thank you for sharing your precious time with us. If you feel it's been well spent, please share Anywhere But Now with your friends. If you like what you hear, leave a review, rate the show, and follow us on Blue Sky as well as Twitter at Anywhere But Now.
02:04:55
Speaker
and wherever you get your podcasts. Check us out on YouTube, join us on Discord, and send your questions, fan art, if you got it, to anywherebutnowpodcastatgmail.com. Don't forget, if you'd like me to run a game of your very own, find me on startplaying.games. Links to everything in the doobly-doo. From all of us, I'm Casey Jones. There are exciting things to come, my friends. I'm glad you're along for the ride. Thank you so much, and have a wonderful day.