Transcript
Speaker: I think it's important to understand why everyone is the way that they are. Earlier in my life, I didn't understand why I was the way that I am. And what made me relentless and gave me that kind of relentless nature to always have to be better at what I'm doing and always strive for more and always never be complacent and always want more.
Speaker: it's not until the last couple years of being very self -aware that i that i dug into that self -awareness and understanding yourself on a psychological level going there going to those depths it's painful when you subject yourself to discomfort everyday in the gym through dieting through calorie restriction through
Speaker: pushing your body through working hard. Everything else in life becomes easy after that. In a real sense, a traditional man, a real man, a manly f -up man. We value women so much more than anyone would ever think. We don't put down women. We love women. We want women. We need women just like they need us. And that's a misconception that people probably have.
Speaker: Welcome to the Thought Leader Revolution with Nikki Ballou. Join the revolution. There's never been a better time in history to speak your truth, find your freedom, and make your fortune. Each week, we interview the world's top thought leaders and learn the secrets of how they built a six to seven figure practice. This episode has been brought to you by eCircleAcademy .com, the proven system to add six to seven figures a year to your thought leader practice.
Speaker: Welcome to another exciting episode of the podcast, the Thought Leader Revolution. I'm your host, Nicky Baloo. And boy, do we have an amazing, exciting guest lined up for you today. Today's guest is a business partner and dear friend of my goat mentor, Amer, the hammer camera. He is one of the founders of Mandy F up. I am speaking, of course, of none other than the one,
Speaker: the only, the legendary Jay Stevens. Welcome to the show, Jayce. Thank you, Nicky. Pleasure to be here and thank you for the warm and entertaining welcome as always. God bless you, brother. Folks who listen to this show, Jayce, they tend to be
Speaker: good men and women who are up to making a difference in the world. These are people who want to grow their businesses, who want to be successful, and many of them have seen my journey in the past year where I dropped 58 pounds, and now that I'm putting some muscle on and getting ready to do my first bodybuilding competition at the age of 56, it's kind of crazy if you think about it, they're just wondering, well, wow, man.
Speaker: If that dude can do it, maybe I can do something too. So I've been bringing on some folks, including Amer, his sister, Lindsey Martens, and yourself to come and share your wisdom.
Speaker: But before we get into it, right? People listen to the show every week. They don't want to hear from me. They want to hear from you. But before they can really open themselves up to you, they got to get to know you. So tell us your backstory. How'd you get to be the great Jay Stevens? Absolutely. And I want to say too, Nikki, you know, the first time I met you, the first time you walked into HQ, you know, compared to who you are now, you're a much different man.
Speaker: Okay. We can see it. You can see it in the way you walk. You can see it in the way you talk. Obviously you can see it in your body. And, you know, I'm very close to him or I speak to him every day, you know, it's been amazing to see what you've done. And I just want to, you know, give you a little congratulations on that. And I look forward to seeing, you know, what you continue to do in the future, right? Because I know that being a roulette list and
Speaker: not being comfortable and not getting complacent is a big part about what we do and you understand that thoroughly and you know it's just really great to see everything that you've done and I can't wait to see what you achieve in the future with Amr you know with with the man with the goat as you referred to him too and you know he's been a great
Speaker: He's been a great mentor to me too and a great friend over the last decade and I appreciate him very much and You know, like I said and you were there at our hammer fitness gala, you know, I wouldn't be the man that I am without hammer You know, you wouldn't be the man that you are without hammer and that goes for a lot of people, too You know, I think it's important to understand why everyone is the way that they are right and You know earlier in my life
Speaker: I didn't understand why I was the way that I am and what made me me, and what made me relentless and gave me that kind of relentless nature to always have to be better at what I'm doing and always strive for more and always, you know, like never be complacent and always want more. And I really didn't understand that when I was younger. It's not until the last couple of years of being very self -aware that I dug into that. And you know what, like self -awareness and understanding yourself on a psychological level
Speaker: going there, going to those depths, it's painful, right? We have to really dig into a lot of our trauma and a lot of our past experiences, which make us the person that we are, right? And a lot of people never get there because it is uncomfortable. Because not only do you have to understand who you are, but you have to understand, you know, like once you do understand that, you understand why you made a lot of the decisions in your life.
Speaker: Okay. And there, there are certain, you know, maybe regret that comes with some of those decisions. And, you know, you wish maybe you would have known that earlier, but on the other side of that discomfort and the other side of that awareness and that pain you have to go through is just.
Speaker: It's almost impossible to explain when you understand yourself so deeply. It's such a profound thing because it opens up the world to you. It gives you so much clarity in what you're doing. Two, just because you start to understand why you are the way you are and what makes you relentless, it doesn't change anything. It didn't change anything for me.
Speaker: What that was in my history is like, I grew up without a father for my adolescence until I was about 10 or 11 years old. I was raised by a single mother. That comes along with a lot of things that you don't understand when you're younger. Even though it's crazy because when you are a child, you don't have awareness.
Speaker: perception of things that are happening and you know even though that is the case it's like these not having a father figure even when you're so young that you don't even understand what that means that does play a role in how you develop and that does create certain quote -unquote traumas and whatnot and I don't even necessarily like that word trauma you know like people have been through traumas it's like experiences right I just don't like the word trauma because it has kind of like a negative context
Speaker: to it per se but it's more so like experiences right because I don't regret any of those things and I don't I don't wish that it was any other way because if it was I wouldn't be who I am okay but you know I grew up without without a father figure until I was about 10 or 11 years old and you know people say you either want to be exactly like your father or the exact opposite
Speaker: And for me, it was clearly the opposite. Because he was very successful earlier on in his life. He was the best in Canada and ranked among the top five in the world at Snooker, which is Billiards. Back in the day, in the 80s and 90s, when that was like, you were a rock star, but that came with a lot of pressure and whatnot. So basically there was a lot of things that happened that transpired into him not being able to be in my life. And like I said, that created a chip on my shoulder. And I think everyone,
Speaker: that is extremely successful and that's relentless like Amr like a lot of the people that we work with you know everyone at a certain level of success has kind of a chip on their shoulder that drives them and for me that was that relentless nature to be more and I think I realized that that was kind of a
Speaker: maybe a defense mechanism. Like I needed to make sure that I was so much more than what my father wasn't. I just was going to be the guy, you know? And that drove me to just be successful and relentless in so many areas of my life. And that is why, you know, we've come to this point where obviously we've had a ton of success in our business, you know, social media, all these different things. There's lots of different accolades. You know, I think that's a little bit about why I have the relentless nature that I do and that, you know,
Speaker: just being normal and being average and accomplishing things that are great. Like that's not good enough for me, right? And it never will be, and that's okay. I've come to terms with that, but that's just the way that I want to live my life too, because I understand.
Speaker: with my virtuous morals, that helps a lot of people, okay? My traumas and my pain that I experienced in my past pushes me to be a certain person and I bring everyone up with me, right? Just like in our businesses, just like Amer does, he's pushed me to be better, I push people to be better and that relentless nature that started from trauma has been a huge positive in not only my life but so many other people's lives, right?
Speaker: There's a few things that struck me as interesting. They say when a man's growing up and he's a kid, his relationship with his father goes through a number of phases. Unfortunately, over the last 50, 60 years, for a variety of reasons, which is kind of beyond the scope of what we want to talk about, there have been a lot of kids that have grown up without fathers. This is not the fault of the kids at all.
Speaker: And in many cases, it's not even the fault of the fathers. They've just been in the milieu of a society that has shifted its sense of morals and values. So a lot of times, fathers have been looked upon as not necessarily not needed. Unfortunately, that's not true. It's been tough and traumatic and scarring for a lot of kids. So they grow up.
Speaker: And in your case, you were able to channel in a positive direction, but not everybody does channel in a positive direction. A lot of people channel in a very negative direction. They stop believing in themselves. They think of themselves as victims. But I want to say this clearly, a father is a fricking important job. It's one of the most important jobs in the world. And if you end up having a family of your own man, be the kind of father that's there and sticks around and choose yourself a woman who's
Speaker: smart enough to realize that she needs a man and a father because unfortunately too many women are being taught these days that a man like a fish needs a bicycle, which is one of the most ridiculous statements I've ever heard of my life.
Speaker: I agree, Nikki, but I think too, you know, the society has gone so far one way and people are starting to see the deleterious effects of that and people are starting to wake up, right? And people like you spreading the word, you know, doing these podcasts, talking about what men should be, you know, what traditional morals are and how, you know, traditional society should be, you're doing a big service to everyone with that. And just like you said, you know,
Speaker: I'm so grateful for my life and just to be where I am and the things that have been given to me because if you look at...
Speaker: the landscape of how I grew up in the setting that I was in and who my father was and the things that come along with that. This could have gone a very different way. I could easily not be here right now. But there are a few reasons why I am, and one of those is obviously my mother, amazing woman, and she's really the reason why I have so much respect for women in general and so much love for women, and my stepfather as well.
Speaker: right? My stepfather is an amazing man. He came into our life when I was about 10 or 11. I would describe him as the all -American, like blue collar, hard -working man. Simple, you know, doesn't need much, was raised, you know, by an incredible family of traditional values. He instilled in me so much work ethic and as well as my mother, right? And work ethic. And he came into my life at a time where
Speaker: I really needed that because, like I said, I could have gone the other way very easily. His guidance and seeing him through his actions, how he executed every day, how he would get up and go to work every day very early and work hard and do carpentry around the house and fix the house and everything like that. I realized later in life that that was a huge guiding factor towards where I went as a man as well.
Speaker: No, that's true, 100%. You had a good man in your life. That's an important thing for a young boy to have, is to have a man show him how to be a man. This man gives you the example of how to be a man, how to work hard, how to get out there and be somebody that can be counted upon by the people that you love and the people that love you. So I think that's great.
Speaker: Tell me about the story of how you met Amber, how you got into the world of competitive bodybuilding and building a business. So I did obviously sports as I was growing up. You know, I've always been a tall guy. I was never like the biggest guy. I wouldn't say I was skinny, but you know, I definitely wasn't built anywhere near like what I am now or what I was in the past when I was doing bodybuilding. But I was doing football and rugby in high school, you know, as a captain of the rugby team for a couple of tours that we did and whatnot in Barbados. But after high school,
Speaker: I just I didn't have an outlet. I didn't have a athletic outlet and I always really liked bodybuilding and guys were muscular and you know like superheroes action figures all those kind of things because I think that's like you know a natural draw to men is you know we want to be muscular we want to be strong we want to be able to defend ourselves all these things so
Speaker: I always loved that growing up. And then I always kind of lifted weights here and there when I was growing up. In high school, you could either do gym class or you could do weight room. And every year I was in high school, I did weight room. But it's not structured, it's not like the fitness, the bodybuilding, the lifestyle that we live now. But after high school, when I was 21, I joined my first gym for a gym membership in Pickering. It was the rec center of Pickering. And the rec center is a little bit of a,
Speaker: elderly people's gym, right? Like there was no even free weight barbells, right? But so I joined there and then that is along the lines of the time when social media started to become more apparent, right? And everyone was saying, okay, you know, wow, there are these fitness competitions and there's these bodybuilders and there's these fitness guys and this is a thing, right? So I started to get into it and I got bit by the bug right away.
Speaker: you know, very early after I started the gym membership, I was training four or five days a week. And then it just builds like anything else. You know, you go to the next gym after I did a year in Pickering at the Rec Center, I went to a good life. I met some friends there that were into bodybuilding. The next gym I went to was like a hardcore bodybuilding gym in Pickering called Excel Fitness. Dungeon, you know, dungeon gym, just like, you know, raw, everything's rusty. And I got really into bodybuilding. Okay. And then,
Speaker: With my friend, Dylan Thomas, who is actually in the fitness industry as well, has a really great following. He's done very well in bodybuilding and everything for himself. He introduced me to a friend that knew Amer. And he said, guys, if you guys are getting into the fitness industry, doing the social media thing, you should come to this competition, which is the WBFF World Championships in Toronto. And this was 2012.
Speaker: So we got invited to this. Me and Dylan showed up at this event. Amer was there competing, right? So this is the world championship. So this is not only you're a pro, not only you've won a pro show, but this is like the thing. It's like the Olympia of the WBFF, right? Which was a very popular federation. Still is, but a little bit more popular back then when Amer was doing it. It was really, really elite.
Speaker: and we went to this show and we show up there and basically to support Amer even though we didn't know him at the time and Amer's whole family is there. His brother is there. There's probably like 30 people there all supporting Amer and we go in and you know I walk in I meet Amer's brother Sam and he goes he pulls us right in he buys me a drink and from there we were just like you know team Amer the whole way right. We're screaming in the auditor
Speaker: Amers up there. Everybody's freaking out is this whole commotion, right? Like nobody else had support like that. But from then, you know, like Amber came off stage, she came back out, you know, was with everyone and met everyone. We took photos. I'll send you a photo. Maybe you could post it up here. It's me and Amber like this with our arms and Amber's definitely bigger than me at the time too. And I'm like, I got like, you know, 14 inch pipes on me and everything. So that was when I first, yeah.
Speaker: I didn't always have 20 -inch arms, Nicky. So that was the first time that I met Amer. And from there, you could just see that so many people loved him, and he had such a big impact on everyone around him, and it was just infectious. And from then, I followed him on Instagram after that, and we would just keep in touch here and there. And then what I was doing is I competed for the first time in 2013 at a WBFF muscle model pro -am in Montreal. And I remember,
Speaker: you know this is before I really knew anything about fitness and I was just following guys like Steve Cook and to prep for that show which is where I got in incredible shape and I can show you the photos too like not really knowing what I'm doing I was just following a template that basically Steve Cook had put out of videos of how to train for competition and how to diet but
Speaker: There was all this confusion in the industry about like how do you peak? How do you peak for a show like peaking was this this crazy thing that the last like you know a week or two weeks of a show you just Transform your body and all this so I'm a kid. I'm 23 years old. I'm like man. I don't this this peaking thing I don't know what's going on. I'm trying to figure it out. I don't want to mess it up and
Speaker: So, I reach out to Amer and I'm like, Amer, you know, I'm doing this show. I want to know, like, what is this peaking thing? Can you help me peek for this show? Whatever it is, right? And he's like, brother, no problem. You know, just send me what you're doing right now. Let me see your photos, et cetera. I'm like, okay, how much do you want to do this for me? Like, how much money can I send you? Whatever. He's like, brother, don't worry about it. Just let's do the show. Let's do the thing. Let's get it done.
Speaker: He peaked me for that show. Dylan came first in that show. I came second. We both looked incredible. And, you know, a lot of it was due to Amber basically in the end and really like what we've come to realize in the industry is like, you know.
Speaker: Peaking, yeah, it's a thing for some people, but most of the time it's just, okay, keep the person calm and don't mess up what you've already done, right? Because with peaking, it's either, okay, you have the potential to look maybe 5 % better or 40 % worse.
Speaker: Right? So it's really just a process of keeping the person calm, reassuring them, making sure that they keep everything normal, slight tweaks, but really that's what it was. And from there, you know, I was just so grateful to Amr for guiding me through that, which was such a big, you know, a monumentous kind of like period of my life and such like a big accomplishment and something I was so concerned about at the time and meant so much to me. And he didn't even want money and he just did it out of just
Speaker: You know, I don't know. Maybe he saw something in me, the goodness in his heart, whatever. But from then on, I knew that, you know, Amber was a great dude. And, you know, I just I was always in debt to him. Right. And then years later, obviously, shortly after that, I started coaching people myself. And then I was doing that from about 2014, 2013, 2014.
Speaker: until 2018 was when Amer actually basically called me up and he told me, he's like, hey man, I've seen what you've done, you've got really good results, you've obviously established yourself in the industry, you've proven that you can do this, and I wanna know if you wanna come work for me at Hammer Fitness. And that's when our kind of journey into business started together.
Speaker: So tell me a bit about your journey with Amer into business because I know what man the F up is, but it'd be great to hear it from you. Explain what it is. Explain how you came up with, with the concept, explain what your vision for it is and explain how men can get involved with it.
Speaker: Absolutely. And I think it's obviously very important to start from the start, right? And that, that comes even before we started man, the F up. Like I told you, Amer asked me to come on and work for him in 2018 and I did so. And at that time, you know, he, he saw, because we've talked about this since and I have a great understanding of it, like.
Speaker: He saw the potential in me and what I was doing and he was from day one pushing me to be the guy, right? Because, you know, everyone needs a guy and there's not, not everyone can take that jump up and be the guy and be the man and be the boss and operate the business and be on that level. So he was pushing me. He would always say, I remember, I remember these words. He's like, brother, I need you to be the guy. I need you to be the man. You know, I need you to step up. I need you to do better. I need you to be more focused and more diligent.
Speaker: and all these things and it was a period of even two years that I worked for him from 2018 to 2020 when we started Man the F up that was kind of a initiation period I guess you could say. I was proving myself, I was stepping up, I was making more money, I was helping more people, I was getting better results. I had quit my job in the railway so I worked for CN Rail, Canadian National Railway
Speaker: and I would travel all around for work, and then I started working for Toronto terminals railway. Anyway, union, pension, benefits, six figures, you know, as a young man, that's a great accomplishment in terms of income, and it's a lot of stability. And in 2019, I quit that job, and I left that to pursue coaching full time, and working with Amer full time. And I think that was one of the stepping stones along the way that proved to Amer that you know what, this guy, he's getting there, he's ready, he's not there yet. Yeah, he's not there yet, but he's coming along, you know, he's making these decisions, and he's proving himself.
Speaker: And then there was a point in 2020, shortly after, you know, the vids started, that we basically sat down.
Speaker: We basically sat down and everyone's like, listen brother, you've proven yourself, I wanna know if you wanna start this business with me. Lady of the F up had been around for a year. We started a year after them. They'd proven the method, they'd proven the concept, they'd proven the name. And it was time to take this leap. And the whole thing is with man the F up, like man the fuck up. That's the name of the company, right? Lady of the fuck up at that time, you know,
Speaker: No one would even think twice about that name, right? Women's empowerment, all these things. Like no one would even think twice, but man the fuck up. This was at the time where, you know, everyone was like, you know, toxic masculinity, this, that, like men, blah, blah, blah, whatever, right? So we knew.
Speaker: from day one that just starting with this name we were gonna have to do a very very good job at explaining what it is we are doing and you know making sure that people understand and even though we're gonna do such a good job at that and we're gonna hammer home you know what we're all about and how you know it's not about toxic masculinity it's about responsibility and it's about you know
Speaker: being a good father, being a good brother, being a good son, being a good person at heart, you know, taking all these things into consideration. We knew that we were still going to have pushback and we did, right? We had people messaging us, how could you guys say this? How could you guys come up with this name, etc. Even though there are videos from day one that clearly show what we are all about and Amer made an amazing video and it's the first post on the Man the Alpha page if you go back. It's about a six minute video where Amer
Speaker: really digs into what we're trying to do here and that this is not about bravado and this is not about muscle and this is not about macho men and this is not about screaming in the gym right this is about getting back to you know what the basics of what a traditional man is and how
Speaker: a traditional man really helps society and how society needs that, right? Just like we need women, just like we need everyone, right? There is a place for everyone and everyone plays their role. And, you know, we just really saw things get off track with the way that men were viewed over the years, you know, due to whatever you want to say, society, social media, things like that. And we wanted to take on the challenge of bringing that back to its roots and proving there is only good that comes from this.
Speaker: I appreciate you going into detail and sharing what the genesis of man the f -up was all about. But I got to tell you, there's no such thing as toxic masculinity. There's only masculinity. Masculinity is a good thing. And the people that use that phrase are sexist, anti -man, misandrist. Misandry is the male version of misogyny.
Speaker: People don't even know that word brother. People don't even know that's a word. Yeah, it's a word. And the reason they say that is because they want to shut men up. There are people who hate men and they want to like make men be weak. And there's a reason for that. They want men to be weak because then they can control society. If you've got military age men that are strong and have their own mind, they won't put up with shit. And I think what you're doing is important because it's given a lot of men who felt cowed by the world today worried about
Speaker: saying the wrong thing and the truth of the matter is men built the world we need to remember that and the forces that are against men are the forces that are against humanism against human beings and humanity and
Speaker: From my point of view, they're straight up evil. You need to mock them and laugh at them. Tucker Carlson says this really, really well. The way that you disarm the evil ones is you mock them. You laugh at them because they're hollow inside. They're scared. And the only reason they're using words like racist
Speaker: Sexist is because they want to shut people up. And if you just say actually I'm not a racist. I'm not a sexist I just don't like you You know that that just makes them melt and you want them to melt because they're the ones that have caused problems in our society I think what you and I'm are doing is good because you're helping men get their balls back get themselves in the shape I think a man has to take care of himself physically he has to too many men are not care of themselves physically and
Speaker: Men E .F. Up is a company that stands for men to be physical, be so good on you for that. Nicky, you know what too? When you subject yourself to discomfort every day, in the gym, through dieting, through calorie restriction, through
Speaker: pushing your body through working hard, you know, everything else in life becomes easy after that, right? You need to put that discomfort on yourself. You need to subject yourself to that on a daily basis so that you are resilient. You are sharpening the blade every day, right? And something I want to say about, you know, men and, you know,
Speaker: What we do in the traditional man in a real sense a traditional man a real man a manly up man you know we value woman women so much more. Then anyone would ever think right we are not you know misogynist we don't put down when we love women.
Speaker: okay we want women we need women just like they need us okay and that's a misconception that you know people probably have everyone has a part here everyone plays a role in society and we just got away from that right and the man the f -up man you look at all the guys that we have you know great fathers great husbands
Speaker: you know great boyfriends great partners we love women too right this is the whole thing brother listen the fact that we need to say this is because they've cowed men so much to think that oh yeah good man is somebody who doesn't like women a good man loves women fuck we adore women we worship women
Speaker: It doesn't need to be said I I don't want to go to bed with you. Jase. You're a good looking man at all I go to bed with my hot woman, bro. She's awesome. I You know what I'm talking about. There's no offense Jase, but You know what I mean? I better not let the hair get too long though, right? The truth is that
Speaker: Our world's fucked right now because a lot of evil people are trying to divide men and women and are trying to make men afraid to speak up. Speak up. Say your piece. It's manly to do it. And the people that are against you, the people that attack men, manhood, masculinity, laugh at them, make fun of them because they deserve to be laughed at and make fun of. They're the locus.
Speaker: people in the modern world as far as I'm concerned. So you created Man the F up. You've been around as Man the F up since 2020 during the height of the COVID insanity. Tell me what have the results been? How many people have you worked with? What kind of results have men gotten? Why has this been so important a development in the business world in Toronto? Well, I think the whole thing is just like you and I and Amer and all the guys we work with, you know, everyone saw through the bullshit.
Speaker: And anyone that has the assault about them, anyone that can put one and two together, you understand, we know. Dude, when the whole COVID thing started, I didn't need to know any of the bullshit. I didn't need to know any of it. I knew that it didn't make sense.
Speaker: Okay. So there are thousands, millions of men out there that are just like us. And they were looking for a place to come and looking for a community where they can speak the way they want to speak, where they can develop themselves into the man that they want to be on a higher level.
Speaker: And we didn't have that. The world didn't have that. No one had that. So we created that. And that's the reason why it's been so successful. You should see our groups, our challenge groups, our 60 day challenge groups on our Man the Fuck Up app that we have now. The guys are just, they love it. They love talking to guys that are similar to them. They're working hard. They're posting at 5 a .m. They're posting their weighted vests when they go and do their cardio. Like right now it's going off.
Speaker: And everyone was just looking for that. We didn't have that. And that's why it's been so successful. The business, especially because of COVID, because of the nature of online and online training and just doing things online became a lot more popular because of the nature of what happened in the landscape of the world over the last couple of years.
Speaker: That allowed us to just completely propel our business as well. And we've always been an online business, but that just made things, it added gas to the fire, it added fuel to the fire. And that really allowed us to take off in a great trajectory and we were able to accumulate and find really amazing men to come on our team and work with us. Josh Cooperband, manager of Hammer Fitness Gym and one of our most amazing coaches,
Speaker: friend of mine and a close partner of mine in the business. He's one of those guys. He moved from Winnipeg. He was doing a sales job in Winnipeg. He's a younger man, many years younger than me. He quit his job in Winnipeg. He moved to Toronto shortly after
Speaker: taking a job with us. This guy risked it all. People don't do that. Not only did he quit his job to work with us, he moved. He moved from somewhere like middle of Canada, the middle of nowhere to the busiest city in Canada, and he's just flourished. And it's been amazing to see him
Speaker: come up and not only you know just the work that he's doing you know the profound effect that he's having on other men's lives you know his income he's able to you know support a family that he's going to have one day and it's you know just stories like that and that's just one of thousands of stories like that makes everything worth it it's a community of men it's a place where men go and they physically build themselves up they get stronger they get more beastly i think that's super super important in my world um
Speaker: I run a men's organization called Sovereign Man. And I'd love for you to come on that podcast specifically, where we'll talk more than just about business, but about men and manhood and masculinity.
Speaker: We say that a man's got to be sovereign. For you to be sovereign, you need to be able to be physically sovereign. Your health's got to be good. You can't be falling apart. You need to be financially sovereign. You need to be able to pay your freaking bills and not need money from the goddamn government or other people, right? You need to be intellectually sovereign. You gotta think for your fucking self. Think about that. You gotta think for yourself.
Speaker: you got to be emotionally sovereign you can't need other people you can't be a needy little bitch man you got to be somebody who can be emotionally sovereign self -sufficient you got to be spiritually sovereign which which means that again you can choose uh who or what you're going to follow from a spiritual point of view you've got to create a relationship with your creator and
Speaker: It doesn't mean you have to be a Christian or a Muslim or a Jew or whatever you choose what that is. It's important from our point of view that men are sovereign we teach sovereignty. I'm really glad that man, the f up exists because what you men do.
Speaker: is you help men become physical beasts. That's a big part of it. Every man that I've seen come through your programs is somebody who has transformed their physical self. They're stronger or they're more physically self -confident, the way they walk changes. I mean, you were kind enough to say, hey, man, the way that I walk changed. And I've noticed that myself, the way I move around,
Speaker: It's important that every man needs that. I think what you do is super, super important. But I think what we do inside Sovereign Man is important because we teach men the nuts and bolts of how the fuck to be a man. And no offense, but men under the age of 50 today, many of them didn't have a father, a masculine father, someone like me and I am for my sons to teach them certain things. And they go and they learn from social media and reading books and that's good.
Speaker: I'm saying that's a good thing, but it's not enough you need elders. This is an important thing is younger men need elders elders Shit, they've gone through experiences. You haven't gone through I've gone through a divorce. You know what I mean? I went through a divorce
Speaker: You know a younger man who's never been through a divorce He needs to listen to a man like me if he's having relationship trouble I went through a divorce and I also have a good relationship with my ex right now And I have a woman that I've been with for 13 years so if there's a man Let's say in your circle who's in his you know late 20s to early 40s And he's like saying okay. I make a lot of money. I'm big I'm fit
Speaker: But I don't know if I'm ever going to get in a relationship, women or this, women or that. I don't know if I'm ready for it. One of the things he needs to do is sit with a man like me to say, look man, part of why God put you here on this earth was to be in a relationship. And the most profound thing you can do, the biggest source of wealth you have isn't your money.
Speaker: Continuing your lineage having children so that the Stephens name goes on the balloon name goes on all these sorts of things are things that a lot of young men don't think this because They see our fucked -up world that's out there right now and they go. Oh man, maybe I don't know if I get married You know, what if she decides to divorce me, you know all that bullshit that is is real. I
Speaker: And that's why I say as important as it is, like I'm very grateful for Amer and for the Hammer Fitness family because I needed mentors for fitness. I need examples for fitness, but I say this very strongly to you. I think younger men need elders that are examples of the life of experience because it doesn't matter how smart you are. If you're 35, you don't have the experience of a 55 or 60 year old man. And if you're smart,
Speaker: You'll want to listen to what some of those men have to say and learn. Not do what they say blindly, but learn. Yes, yes, absolutely. And there's a few things I want to touch on Nicki too, but it's right to your point. And I realize this after digging into my self -awareness and really looking at the past in my life. And one of the things I realized from my stepdad is, men that are like that,
Speaker: you know, like you and like my stepdad, they're not sitting there and saying, Jace, you need to do this and you need to do that and you need to think like this. They are an example. Their actions are what teach men. Okay, because I realize this and this is so true about, you know, children and men and their adolescents. It's like, we learn and maybe, you know, I'm just speaking, I'll speak directly about myself. I learned through observing.
Speaker: Okay, I don't learn. I don't learn through, you know, people saying this or reading or watching this. So I learned through watching people do things and how it's supposed to be done. And that is really the best way to learn. And the only way you can have that is by having that man in your life. And that is one of the reasons why and especially because of my upbringing and, you know, like not having a father that.
Speaker: it has always been so important to me that I have a family and that I continue my lineage and that I'd be the father that I didn't have, you know, for those years, right? And I don't let that happen again, right? And that's why it's so meaningful to me too, right? And it's all about observing because I didn't even understand this. I was like, so for example, Nikki, to make you understand this, I was doing, my first career was carpentry, okay? I did advanced carpentry, I was framing houses, I was building custom homes.
Speaker: Until maybe like a year ago or even like six months ago when I was having a conversation speaking about this You know digging into my my awareness and my psychology. I was like, I didn't even really know why I did that But then I realized it was watching my stepdad do the woodworking building the decks doing the renovations in our home I was like, that's why I was drawn to that
Speaker: And so it's all about observing and watching the actions of men that are walking through life the way that they should and putting the right foot forward and doing the things that we all respect. I think that's very important. And I'll say, it's not that you want a man to freaking tell you what to do, but it's good to be around a group of men. One of the things we have inside of our group is we meet in person, we meet over Zoom, and we talk about the shit that men are dealing with.
Speaker: So a man can come and say, my 15 -year -old son's fucking doing weed. How do I deal with this? You know what I mean? And there's an older man who's got sons that are in their 30s now who went through that 15 years ago and goes, hey, let me tell you, right? There could be an -
Speaker: right now who's like thinking, hey man, I'm successful, I've done a multi -million dollar business, I'm 35, I'm 38, I've met this woman, I love her, she's great, should I marry her, shouldn't I marry her? And these are questions that no one's gonna tell you, no, you should marry her, no, you shouldn't marry her, that's a decision you're gonna make.
Speaker: But an older man could ask you some pointed questions, Jace, that you wouldn't think to ask yourself, right? Yes, offer a different perspective that you don't have. Not even offer it, but the questions will make you think. You're going, okay, shouldn't I marry you? Shouldn't I marry you? So the first thing you'll ask you is, well,
Speaker: Why do you want to get married? And you might go, well, I want to continue my lineage. I want to have children. Okay, great. What makes this woman qualified to be a good mother? That's a, that's a fair question, right? Right off the top of your head. And you'll go, that's a good question. You know? Okay. Well, she's like this. She's like this. She's like this. Does she come then? He might ask you say, does she come from a family? Did her mom and dad stay together or is she from a broken home?
Speaker: Do you guys fight when you fight? Is she a woman who always expects to win every fight? Or is she a woman who she's willing to look at what she's like in a fight? Do you do everything or does she also come and bring something to them? These are the questions you get asked. You might be sitting there.
Speaker: She might be the hottest chick in the fucking world, right? She might be the most beautiful chick, like your head over heels. You look at her, you just like physically melt. When you make love, it's like, my God, the moon, the stars, the sun, all go off at one turn. And you're like, oh, she's the one. But then the dude starts asking these questions and you go, wait a minute. Yeah. She does really expect me to do everything yet.
Speaker: When we fight, she always has to always win every fight. You know, she never admits she's ever done anything wrong. Okay. Well, at least I got to think about that. Right. Exactly. That's, that's why I like what you do and the way that you feel about what you do is like, it is so fucking important. And that's how I feel about man, the F up. And I think an interesting perspective to offer you too is like the things that you're talking about, what you do, the work that you do, it's so fucking important.
Speaker: and we we do that and like you know the coaching and the physical side of things that's that's one part of it right but obviously as you know working with Emmer coaching is a relationship okay it can get deep you talk about everything so we do some of the things that you do in a more individual one -on -one way but you know why it's so important what you're doing is you do it out in the open and you do it as a community in a group
Speaker: and you know what that's something that I love and respect and that's you know why what you're doing is so important and we want to do more is that at man the f up and we're you know working towards things that are gonna allow us to do that podcast things like this so you know I we obviously appreciate what you do and and the things that you're saying right now the perspectives that you're offering on relationships marriage divorce
Speaker: Like younger guys don't know how important that is. The world is so fucked up. People don't think about things. And that's what you're saying. Like, you know, you start asking questions, you're like, why do you even want to get married? Dude, someone could be this close to getting married and they probably never asked themselves that once. You know, like how crazy is that?
Speaker: Right. So that's why it is so important what you're doing. And that's why man the F up in what we're doing is so important. And I think there's so much parallels and yeah, I would absolutely like to join on one of your calls or come into your community because there are a lot of things that I would need to learn as well. And that I would, you know, really value.
Speaker: For sure. Well, listen, the sovereign man podcast is about the work we do with men. And that is not a business for me. It's a labor of love. I do that because I believe it's needed. Um, we, you know, we charge for it, but we don't charge a lot for it. We do it because we want to help men that, that are.
Speaker: frankly a little bit lost not be so lost and our vision is that it grows we want it to grow we want it to be bigger my main business is I help business people make money that's that's what I do for a living right that's that's my main shtick is I find you know folks who a lot of my clients who are coaches consultants and other experts and we're all about helping them be smart about how they
Speaker: get their message out there, how to be seen as a go -to authority, as a thought leader. I use my podcast to make money. I show people how to be a guest on other people's podcasts. And I've made a lot of money doing that. I teach people how to do that. I got to show a program called Get Booked and Get Paid. And we are all about that from a business point of view, but my heart
Speaker: is with helping young men and in particular, I want to make sure the next generation of men are set up so they can win and they can help change the world. It was clear around COVID that the government was feeding us a load of lies. It's also clear that the powers that be that say stupid shit like toxic masculinity are feeding us a bunch of lies. And it's super, super, super clear that
Speaker: the people that are in charge of our country right now, folks like Justin Trudeau, they don't have the country's best interests at heart. People are seeing that, thank God. People are ready to boot this man to the curb, which is where he needs to be. But we need to make people be equipped.
Speaker: So this type of thing doesn't happen again. In particular, we need to equip men to step into their power as men, grab their balls, move forward and win. Reason I love what you do is you helped me do that from a physical point of view. You am or your team. And it's an honor, honestly, it's an honor to know you men and to, to know the women and lady, the F up because I've done some work with, you know, folks like Lindsay as well. I had a Rema on the podcast.
Speaker: because you're making people stronger. It's a very humanistic approach. You believe in humanity, you love people. And I say this every single day to my clients and to people out there in the world, every human being in the world needs somebody.
Speaker: who believes in them, sees their greatness, and is going to hold a spark of belief for them until their own belief catches fire and turns into a roaring inferno. Every human being needs that, and they need strategies to win, whether it's at fitness and health, whether it's at persuasion, which is what I teach, and growing a business and growing your ability to draw people to your vision.
Speaker: Whether it's at relationships, every human being needs people to teach them the skills they need to win. I provide love and belief in people. You and Hammer and the team provide love and belief in people. And I think that's one of the reasons we connect so nicely together.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely. And that's a huge thing, what you just said there, is people need someone to believe in them. And not just, not just anybody, right? They need someone that they look up to, someone that they value, someone that they see as an authority figure, you know, someone they respect. Like when you have someone like that in your life, just like Amer did for me, right? What I do for my clients, because I know that everyone is capable.
Speaker: Okay. And when that comes from someone like us, it's so empowering because they know that it's not bullshit. Like, listen, I don't, we don't need to, just like you don't need to do the podcast that you do for money. Like, you know, we, I don't need to do this for money either. Okay. Like money is just a semantics of business, right? Like we do this because we care and people can genuinely see that when you walk into the gym, the first time you met me, first time you met Amber, you,
Speaker: You can tell that we care about people. You can tell when you walk up to someone that they're genuine, that they love people, that they care, that they're not malicious. They don't even have to say a word. It's a vibe. It's a feeling. It's an understanding, right? And when that comes, when you give people the belief that they can achieve more and they can achieve what their goals are,
Speaker: and that they are more than capable. It's so empowering. And that's why we get the results that we do. And that's why Amer has all these people that win shows. And that's why, you know, our community has become so strong is because, you know, we are a community of very successful people that believe in each other. And we love people. We love humanity, just like you said. Amen, brother. Amen. So, Jace, we ask you as our guest expert to tell us
Speaker: three what we call expert action steps. These are your best pieces of advice but in bullet point form for my listener to win in fitness, in life, in business. You pick how you want him to win but you give me your best three pieces of advice. I'm going to take notes. Go. Say no more than you say yes. You want me to elaborate on this a little bit?
Speaker: So something I've realized too, after becoming a lot more successful over the years and with more success is going to come more opportunities. It's not necessarily that people want to take advantage of you, but they see what you're doing. They know you're successful and they want to latch onto that and they want to ride. You're going to be offered business opportunities. You're going to be offered, um, you know, to go into business with people, to start businesses, to do certain things, to do different events. And you know, something like what Amber talked about on your podcast is like,
Speaker: You need to be, if you wanna be the absolute best at one thing, you need to stay in that one thing. You can't spread yourself thin. And this is a lesson that I had to learn over the last couple of years. And I learned it through fucking up and through saying yes too many times, okay? And there's pain that comes along with that. But those are the lessons that you never forget, okay? So say no more than you say yes. That's one. Another one I would say is, you know, embrace discomfort, okay? Make yourself uncomfortable on a daily basis.
Speaker: Don't sit around and don't get comfortable and don't get complacent and you know, wake up, wake up early, go to the gym, do things that are hard, force yourself to go through that pain and that discomfort because that is going to make you, like we talked about earlier, resilient. You're sharpening the blade. You're sharpening your tools. It's going to give you the skills that you need to handle everything else in life.
Speaker: when you wake up and when you subject yourself to something that is uncomfortable on a daily basis, not because you have to, but because you choose to. Everything else in life, all of the little minutia, all the other little bullshit, it's just that, it's bullshit. It doesn't matter, it's easy, okay? And the third thing I would say is never, I would say never be the smartest person in the room, but surround yourself with people that challenge you.
Speaker: Okay, surround yourself with people that are better than you. And that kind of comes back to being uncomfortable because when you're in a room full of yes men and when you're in a room full of people that are maybe, I don't want to say below you, but want what you want or they're not at where you are at a level of income or intellect or things like that, you're never going to grow. Put yourself in situations that are uncomfortable with people that are doing what you want to do, that are better than you. And it's not about being better
Speaker: In a general sense but like you know they've achieved what you want to achieve on an income level on a business level they've done things they have accolades they've achieved things that you have not it's uncomfortable to be around those kind of people cuz they're gonna challenge you to be better but you need to do that so say no more than you say yes it's fantastic you gotta you gotta stay focused and stay in your lane because otherwise you're fucked
Speaker: Two, embrace discomfort. Fucking, this is the David Goggins approach to life, man. You get complacent, you're fucked. You know, do the things that are hard. That doesn't mean don't get rest. That doesn't mean work yourself to the fucking bone so you drop dead, but it does mean push yourself out of your comfort zone and surround yourself with people that challenge you, that are better than you, that are going to make you rise to the occasion.
Speaker: You know, I go into Amherst Gym, right? And in the lobby waiting area, there's a whole bookcase of books, of really great books that the man reads. Inside the bathroom, you know, one of them, there's some Robert Greene books out there. And I go, this dude's a fucking reader. He's looking to learn. He's looking to grow. This is the kind of dude I want to hang out with. So I'm good at a bunch of shit. There's a bunch of shit I'm not good at. It's important to be around people that are better than me in the areas I want to get better at. So I really appreciate this.
Speaker: So, Jace, if someone is looking to come and be a client at Man the F up or at Hammer Fitness, what's the best way? What do they need to do? Tell us, how do they get a hold of you guys?
Speaker: Yeah, so you guys can easily just follow me on social media, at jace underscore stevens. It's gonna be the same for TikTok. You can follow our Instagram page for man the F up, at man the F up underscore. Obviously on those pages, there's a link to book a consultation call with us. That's probably the best way to go. We wanna figure out your goals. We wanna figure out your needs. And so you guys are aware, you know, I don't take on everyone that wants to work with me, right? There are lots of different coaches that we have that are better at different things, okay? Not everyone is at the 90 % where they need to go up to 100.
Speaker: and that's where I'm at. Everyone has different levels. If you guys are at the peak, you guys are successful, you guys are close to being there, and you want me to take you from that last 80, 90 % to that 100%, I'm the guy for you, okay? So book a call with us, reach out, shoot me a DM, there's a link there, that's what we're gonna do. Awesome, we'll make sure all that's in the show notes.
Speaker: listener Jay Stevens funny guy the real deal we had a blast being in the show with him today Jay thanks for being on the show God bless you brother and that wraps up another exciting episode the podcast the thought leader revolution to find out more about the one and only Jay Stevens go to the show notes at the thought leader revolution calm
Speaker: And go look them up on Instagram. This episode is about team by Decocal Academy .com. If you live in Toronto, you got to go to Hammer Fitness. It's a great place. There's nothing like it. You pumped up to do a workout. Get one of their members, get one of their coaches to walk you through a workout and sign up for an online consultation with Jason, a member of his team. You'll be glad that you did. Until next time. Goodbye.
