Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep: 44 - Are You Holding Yourself Back?
43 Plays14 days ago
In this episode, we unpack the “all-or-nothing” mindset around movement and why it keeps so many of us stuck. From overtraining and burnout to avoiding workouts when things feel hard, we explore the patterns that hold us back. Tune in for a real conversation on mindset, sustainable fitness, and how to build habits that align with the future version of yourself.
We would love you to join us in our latest program: The 21 Day Reset
If you are looking to reset your energy, shed a few pounds and feel like yourself again, this program is for you! Join us for the 21 Day Reset. We begin April 7!
Register here: 21 Day Reset
Where to find us:
IG @whatsmyageagain.podcast / FB - What’s My Age Again Podcast
Email us at: wmaapod@gmail.com
Where to find Tanya:
IG @tlcholistic / FB @tlcholistic
Book with Tanya:
Join the TLC Community: https://www.patreon.com/tlcholistic
Where to find Kim:
IG @kimdesmarais.nutrition /FB @KimDesmarais
Book with Kim: Complimentary Connect Call
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to What's My Age Again, the realest podcast for women who are done chasing trends and ready to feel empowered. Hi, I'm Kim. And I'm Tanya, holistic nutritionists and childhood best friends who've been there, done that, and bought the collagen.
00:00:16
Speaker
more than once. Each week we provide actionable steps that you can start today to help you thrive through every decade to come. We're cutting through the wellness noise to bring you honest conversations about aging, hormones, health, beauty, mindset, and everything in between.
00:00:33
Speaker
You see, we're also on a mission to age gracefully one WTF moment at a time, backed by research and real life. We're here to share what actually works, what's a waste of time, and how to truly thrive through the messy, magical midlife transition.
Tanya's Travel Tales
00:00:49
Speaker
We're so happy you're here. Let's dive in. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to What's My Age again. Thank you so much for being here with us today. Tanya, Tanya just, first of all, I should tell you, Tanya has just traveled by plane, by car.
00:01:06
Speaker
How are you, Tanya, after like a full two days of travel? Basically, a full two days of travel, and I've only made it as far as Ottawa. um But yesterday was, you know, the plane day. And you know, even when it's a four-hour flight, it's it's still your day, right? By the time you plan your meals, get to the airport, all of that stuff. Time Yeah, yeah, that's it. When you go there. Yeah.
00:01:29
Speaker
When you go there. Yeah. And then i we picked up this morning and my mom and I drove to Ottawa. So yeah, I'm podcasting from my goddaughter's house, which is wild to me because Bridget in my mind is still eight, but she's not, she's married. I'm in her house that she owns. So yeah, here we are.
00:01:49
Speaker
That's awesome. And I saw all your snacks for the plane, by the way, on your Insta stories. Yeah. And if you guys remember one of our first episodes, I did not do the egg salad on the plane, but I did have hard boiled eggs in the car on the way to the plane. So I spared everybody on the plane, but I was still able because, you know, Kim, you do the same thing. I was still able to eat the way I needed to eat or otherwise I would have ended up arriving here.
00:02:17
Speaker
absolutely depleted, you know, not feeling myself most likely dehydrated. So it's always like, it's so
Travel Wellness Tips
00:02:25
Speaker
important to me. It's a non-negotiable, but can I tell you what happened? Listen to this. So I packed, um, a container or pretty hefty, like Tupperware container of organic raspberries and strawberries. Cause of course,
00:02:39
Speaker
The day before I leave to go away when I'm not going to be there to eat them all, one of the local grocery stores had the big packs of strawberries and the double pack of raspberries. Buy one, get one half off. Amazing.
00:02:50
Speaker
Of course, I still bought two strawberries and two raspberries knowing full well my husband will not eat all those while I'm wary. So I'm like, I'm going pack a full thing of raspberries and strawberries for the plane. That's fine.
00:03:01
Speaker
So I eat them. I
Balancing Diet and Exercise
00:03:03
Speaker
get to my mom's, I pass a mirror and I was like, good Lord, what has happened? um From my waist, probably till halfway down my thigh on like my whole back and my butt.
00:03:16
Speaker
There must've been a raspberry that I just sat on and I both matched and rolled and my pants were like a super light tan gray, like jogging pants. Beautiful. how long you were walking around with that? Who knows?
00:03:30
Speaker
And you know, we don't use a lot of chemicals, but I will shout out to Nicole Church, the OxyClean Power Wash she used. Like I watched the stain leave my jogging pants. So I mean, sometimes you got to bend the rules. Sometimes you got to be toxic, right?
00:03:44
Speaker
Fraud. You're just joking. it Well, I'm glad we get to do this today because we're talking about something, tanyy and I were talking about this and this is kind of, we're just...
00:03:57
Speaker
We want to open up the conversation because it's something both of us have been chatting about this week with clients that we've had and conversations that we had over this spring.
00:04:07
Speaker
And it sort of actually relates to last week. If you haven't caught last week's episode, We were talking about comfort food. And one of the things we get a lot with our clients when it comes to diet is this really all or nothing mentality, this restrictive, healthy eating mentality. If I'm going to be changing the diet and eating healthy, it needs to look restrictive.
00:04:29
Speaker
It needs to taste like my organics bin. it needs to taste horrible. Where we're talking about how it can be both. It can be delicious and healthy.
00:04:43
Speaker
which kind of prompted us to talk and think about movement because I feel like it's the same thing with some clients in regards to movement, this either all or nothing mentality.
00:04:54
Speaker
And a conversation that I've had this week with a few clients is I feel like we've gone a little bit far on the pendulum with the fact that we always talk about listening to our body, being gentle, that we don't need to push
Physical Activity Insights
00:05:10
Speaker
things. that we don't need to do things with so much so much intensity.
00:05:15
Speaker
But I think when it comes to movement, some of us then give the permission slip to not push ourselves the way we might need to. Does that make sense?
00:05:27
Speaker
It makes perfect sense to me. And I've also had this conversation with clients, with friends, with family members, and with myself. because I'm definitely someone who has written myself many permission slips over the year. I think I've probably said on over half of the podcasts that we've done, I don't like things that are aggressive. I don't like aggressive treatments. I don't like aggressive diets.
00:05:51
Speaker
And that's true, but I love what you said. but about pendulum. I'm such a visual person, as we know. And like that pendulum sometimes exactly shifts to, I don't want to say it, but I guess a good way to say it is giving ourselves too much grace and giving ourselves too much slack that we're actually losing sight of why we're looking to move our bodies or why we're looking to eat a certain way. And in that we start to lose our goals, short-term and long-term, and we stop pushing ourselves within our means. Totally. And it goes back to, I think we had an episode on excuses, making excuses, and that's, it ends up kind of dialing into that excuses. And so to give you an example, like, you know, we realize, i mean, so many of you that were are listening, our listeners, we know are in perimenopause, just like us.
00:06:44
Speaker
And during this phase of life, We do. I mean, we've had many episodes about the nervous system and we are sort of encountering more stressors within our our hormone imbalance, perhaps in our life where we have children that are growing up, parents that we're supporting, work obligations, and we feel like our life is being pulled in all directions. And so during this time of life, we are more susceptible to burnout.
00:07:12
Speaker
It is a very real thing. And if we are dealing with those symptoms of burnout, then we do need to be gentler with us, or with our with our movement practices.
00:07:23
Speaker
However, we can't, I mean, we also have to be aware that we need to push ourselves at certain point, right? Like, do you know what I'm saying, Tanya?
00:07:37
Speaker
Yeah, because you said, I don't know if it's an actual word, but it's the word I would have used. And that just set off a bulb in my head. Gentler. That's a word, right? I don't know. don't know. I feel like my mom say gentle. Whatever. But I'm saying we're owning this. I would say gentler. We have to be gentler. It doesn't mean we only just have to be gentle. So yes, you're making a perfect amount of sense. So here is my example.
00:08:03
Speaker
When we are stressed out for all of the reasons that you just mentioned, Kim, like, again, we've talked about as we get older, life does get more stressful for most of us, there's more demands, etc. That's where a lot of us tend to say we need to support our nervous systems. Absolutely. So we need to do restorative yoga.
00:08:23
Speaker
Correct. We need to take daily nature walks. Absolutely correct. But a lot of us then put a period at that end of the sentence. We know that we do need to weight train within our capacity and we can talk about that. We do know that we need to get our heart rate up. So we are gasping for air, even if it's just for a three minute period within our means. But a lot of us...
00:08:46
Speaker
because we're supporting our nervous system or we're stressed out, are safely sticking to, let's say, the yoga, the walking and saying, you know, the rest will come when my life is more on track, the rest will come when I'm not as stressed out.
00:09:01
Speaker
We're always probably going to have most of us a lot of stress, you know, and be very, very busy. That's where the permission slip comes in and the pendulums the other way within our means still, We can, they're not mutually exclusive, we can be so supporting our nervous system and managing our stress while doing yoga, but also doing that high aerobic activity. Again, i say within your means to get your heart rate up.
00:09:30
Speaker
a couple times a week to get you huffing and puffing to push you a little bit within your means. And I think it's important that we discuss what do I keep saying within your means signs that we could look for, where we can still push yourself when we know we're not going too far versus where, okay, we really do have
Starting and Maintaining Exercise Routines
00:09:51
Speaker
to scale it back. Like what does that mean during a workout and after a workout, you know,
00:09:56
Speaker
Absolutely. I think one one thing that I talk to my clients about is if you are pushing yourself during a workout and you feel depleted after for hours and you are feeling that you are experiencing symptoms of burnout, um that is where you would look at maybe doing more so restorative practices.
00:10:20
Speaker
However, if you're feeling that muscle soreness, if you're feeling tired at the end of ah of a workout, that's completely normal. And I mean, if you're feeling, most of us, you know, it's really getting to that workout that's the hardest part. And it's pushing ourselves during the workout is the hardest part. At the end, usually we feel like, thank goodness I did right?
00:10:43
Speaker
Right. Absolutely. And I think here's the important thing, too. I think this is a lot, a lot of us stumble at this aspect of workout, knowing that, you know, we need to have a mixture of things that elevate our heart rate, things that work our muscle groups and things that are restorative. But this is, again, I think where the flooding of information comes in the noise that we're like going attempt to cut through in this conversation.
00:11:13
Speaker
One minute. is better than no minutes. Two days is better than no days. so If we're somebody who has, you know, scaled back and we're kind of being cautious with our workouts, and I just came from a period of this, I'm not going to lie, where I tended just to do yoga, and just to go for leisurely walks, and I hadn't had my heart rate up in a while, to be honest with you, or done, you know, some, some lifting of any kind, we can start with one day. It's that, like you said, at the start, like this all or nothing mentality It just really plays with our heads and gets into our heads. And then we couple that with don't work too hard. Don't want to, you know, give yourself grace. And we just need to start sometimes with like one day a week of something that might be a little bit more challenging and just stick with that consistency and even do that for a month and then go to two days or you might not even do that for a month. After a week of doing that or two weeks, you might say, wow, this is just what I needed. I'm glad i pushed myself And exactly like you said, Kim, we are going to be tired after, you know, we do that workout, but there's a difference between utter depletion for hours and feeling tired. And don't be scared to in two days, this was me. I'm going to give you a perfect example. When I started like lifting weights, nothing crazy, just dumbbells. You know, I started with like five pounds, 10 pounds and 15 pounds, right?
00:12:43
Speaker
it's like I would use muscle fatigue or tenderness as an excuse to push it off farther. So let's say I wanted to work upper body every other day or every third day.
00:12:54
Speaker
At the start, girl, you're still going to be sore probably most likely two days after you take your upper body. Absolutely. So I would be like, no, I'm still sore. I don't want to hurt myself.
00:13:07
Speaker
And then it would just fall off. And I was doing like upper body, like once every like seven days or whatever, until I realized, no, you're going to be sore. You're going to still, you know, do it within your means. You might do a little bit lighter weight. And then once you get through that, your recovery time goes, minimizes. And that's how you build that momentum and build on it. But I think, again, there's such that you know, thought that we're all saying it it is confusing support your nervous system. Don't push too hard that a lot of us aren't pushing at all. And we're not moving towards where we need to be for our health.
00:13:40
Speaker
Well, exactly, Tanya. And I love it. It's like, it is a balance, right? And it is, it isn't an all or nothing. It isn't an all or nothing thing, right? When if we are focused on building muscle, we do it gradually.
00:13:54
Speaker
And we need to be, as we always say our favorite word, consistent, And it's interesting, like if you go back to maybe our first episode and we think about who we want to be in our 80s and 90s, and if you think about that woman and so many of us say we want to be fit, we want to be strong, we want to be able to pick up our grandkids, we want to be able to hike.
00:14:14
Speaker
Well, what are you doing today to make yourself into that person? Right. And if we keep giving ourselves the excuse and we keep pushing it off, how are we going to build that muscle?
00:14:26
Speaker
How are we going to become that woman who we aspire to become that future us? And so this, this is, this is sort of the conversation of let's not give ourselves the permission slip to not push ourselves in our movement routine. And like, and like Tanya said, if it is a situation where you feel super depleted, well, you've just learned, you've gotten that information and you can listen to your body or the same thing with injury, Tanya, You're dealing with injury right now. Your fitness routine had to change.
00:14:59
Speaker
Exactly. And that's such a good thing to bring up. you You actually literally read my mind. I wanted to talk about different instances. Exactly. We have the permission slip in terms of just giving yourself grace in general, supporting our nervous system. but injury and yeah i'm dealing with an si joint injury in my lower back and how where am i now probably going on four weeks i'm not able to use um the peloton or cycle which was a big part of my fitness i'm not able to do any i shouldn't say any but i'm not able to do a great deal of lower body right now anything lunges squatting deadlifts i'm not really working the lower body i can do my upper i graduated was doing my upper body in a seated chair. And now I can, you know, I have this ability now to do it as normally I would.
00:15:50
Speaker
But there's one thing I have learned so much through injury, shoulder injuries. I've torn my rotator cuff, hip injuries.
Achieving Realistic Fitness Goals
00:15:59
Speaker
It's like, there's this saying, and I love it. It's at my physiotherapy office, but I've seen it tons of places. And you guys might've heard it. Kim, you would have definitely heard it.
00:16:08
Speaker
If you're hungry, eat. If you're thirsty, drink. If you're injured, move. and and so So, so important. So again, if we're looking at things like we you know often do, the all or nothing mentality, kind of one of the basis of the things we're talking about today. And injured, as injured, we would tend to go towards nothing. Can you imagine what would happen if anytime we were injured, we just stopped moving entirely or even fell off our diets entirely?
00:16:42
Speaker
It would be an absolute nightmare. And it's adjusting. And guess what? I'm still able to become breathless and like work out to that capacity with doing super like Olympic almost style speed walking. I look a little ridiculous, I think, outside, but that's what I need to do right now because I can't cycle.
00:17:05
Speaker
And I'm still able to do my upper body and modified yoga. But the thing is, I'm still able to push myself even with that injury. And it's so, so important, right? well Finding that balance. Totally. And I mean, one of the life I've had pelvic floor before my first or during my first pregnancy, symphysis where it was instability. And it was so interesting working with a physiotherapist.
00:17:33
Speaker
Sarah Sims, actually, who was on the podcast, and understanding the type of movements that were supportive, the type of movements that would actually hinder And the type of work, like, so working with a professional, like a physiotherapist is so key when it comes to when you have injury, because there are things like I didn't know, I didn't know, right? Certain movements that were actually really hurting me and so certain movements that I didn't realize were so supportive and things I should be doing every day. So like you said, Tanya, the worst thing that you can do is stop moving. It's more about finding the right movements, keep going, build those muscles again. And then as you recover, incorporating those movements back in like the ones that you were used to.
00:18:21
Speaker
thousand percent. And that's how I knew what I should be working in my capabilities. And without, I bring all my questions. I'm literally like, I love my physiotherapist ever since I've moved to Alberta. I've been working with her for three years because somehow I seem to always get these long regenerative injuries from shoulder to hip to back. But that's how I know. i ask, you know, Catherine, can I do this? Should I be doing this? I feel pain when I do this. Do I push through it? Do I pull back? And, you know, exactly like you said, it's so important to do. And we talked about this actually in my, I went to see her just the day before that I got on the plane, just to again, get more information, have a treatment, get some movement in and keep myself going until I see her next. And we were talking about, imagine just stopping everything. And especially when we get to a certain age. Sure. If I tweaked my SI joint 20 years ago, I actually probably would be, you know, doing my thing back now or 20 years ago, I likely probably would have and could have
00:19:31
Speaker
Not worked out for two months and bounce back no problem. But it's I think it's important, as we talked about as we get older, to find that balance between you know nothing, all or nothing. And this is... I love how you said too, I'm sorry, I'm jumping thoughts for a second that think about the very first episode. And maybe some of you guys are new listening and you haven't listened to the very first one, but we're coming up almost to a year in June, June 25th, actually will be one year of podcasting every single week.
00:20:07
Speaker
And we talked about your time is now. And it would be so interesting to go back exactly like you said, and think about what we're doing now, is it aligning with what we wanted to do one year ago, what we saw our future selves like? And if it isn't, what kind of permission are we giving ourselves and telling ourselves maybe little lies that's keeping us from not getting into the zone, right? Absolutely. And if you're like, I think the intention of this episode is really to give you some motivation. So if you have been thinking about starting that
00:20:44
Speaker
and whatever, the weight training or a run club or cycling. this is your This is the universe telling you to do it, to hurt yourself, to try it, to see, because your future self will thank you. But Tanya, I wanted to go back to one quick thing, because when we were starting to talk about injury,
00:21:08
Speaker
This also, you know, I realize this is taking us off on another tangent, sorry, but um is the preventative piece. When we also, again, all or nothing there, I do have clients who are all in right? They have no time. So when they are working out daily, they are pushing themselves to the limit, but they have zero recovery days.
00:21:31
Speaker
So I talked to these women about preventative injury. Like we need to recovery days. stretching those restorative practices that you were talking about earlier, Tanya, are also so important for our long-term health, you know, to making sure that we're doing like the foam rolling or, you know, the stretch classes.
Long-term Health and Fitness Strategies
00:21:53
Speaker
So, so if you're sitting here listening and being like, don't worry, I'm all in also, think about that piece too. We want to make sure that we are preventing those futures those potential injuries by taking care of our joints and our ligaments and our muscles.
00:22:10
Speaker
And isn't it interesting when we are like, oh, we're all in, we're talking to the people that are all in, the mentality and the expectation that we all have, that we're all in means you're having no rest days. yeah But what is all in means that you're doing mobility every day. That's a big thing now for me. I do a mobility stretch class every day, even if it's five minutes and you're doing weights, let's say three times a week, because that works for you. And you're doing cardio, you know, three times a week. But isn't it funny? That's the whole problem with the all or nothing mentality that we keep bringing up when we say, oh, we're all in. We think that is like hit every single day and permission slip is just restorative yoga. But I think we should try to shift, which we're trying to do in this episode, the mentality to all in being a balance of everything the body needs, because we know that raising that heart rate and cardiovascular is the longevity piece in It helps with balancing blood sugar. It helps making insulin more sensitive. It helps to lower cholesterol. These are so, so important mixed with the weight training, which we know that's what's going to get us off the floor, sitting down on the floor into our 80s and 90s. That's what's going to allow us to lift ourselves up from the bathtub, bring our groceries in with the restorative, which is going to, again, love that nervous system, manage that stress. So really, we should be defining our all or nothing are all in as a mix of these things in the capacity that works for us. But you gotta to get restless but breastless you got You got to get breathless. And you have to be sore now and again in good ways, the good breathless and the good sore. We know the difference. You guys all know the difference between, oh my God, I'm not going to be able to for 19 days. I really tore every single hammy because I've done it.
00:24:13
Speaker
Or that was a great class. Feel the burn. We know the difference. But it's like, i feel love what you just said. I love the redefine and it's so true. And I hope that everybody listening is thinking about, think about where you are on this spectrum, where, when it comes to your movement practices at home, are you on the go, go, go mentality with no restorative days?
00:24:38
Speaker
Are you, giving yourself a permission slip where maybe you should be pushing yourself or are you all in in terms of balance? Right. As Tanya said, i love that. And I'm never going to, I'm always going to think of that now, Tanya, for sure.
00:24:53
Speaker
All in being the balance between those restorative practices that we need for health and the cardiovascular, the weight training, the movement that fits your lifestyle.
00:25:05
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Yeah. I love it. That's such a good redefine. You're right. And I'm glad. i don't know where that came from, but it was like, boom from my mind. What if this is the way it can be? And if you are someone listening right now, that's sitting there like, I know I need to do these things. And I'm not, I've given myself for permission slip because ABC or D, or I'm really unwell.
00:25:28
Speaker
You know, we're all listening in different walks of life, different ages, different circumstances. Um, I'm very unwell right now and I don't think I can do much beyond like, you know, a two minute, you know, walk or just walk into the corner and back.
00:25:41
Speaker
It's okay. Do that. Do something. Start where you are. You'll know what's right for you. But like, we have to do what works for us and be realistic about what that Right. And pushing yourself.
00:25:56
Speaker
can mean very different. It can be very different for each person. Exactly. As you said, Tanya, pushing yourself to go on that walk can be a great start. But, and if you are somebody that needs that accountability, find yourself an accountability partner, find yourself a friend, a personal trainer, somebody that can support you, someone like a Tanya or I that can support you in figuring out what you need to become consistent and to push yourself forward.
00:26:24
Speaker
to, you know, to the proper limit for yourself, for you. Yeah, because there's movement out there for everybody. Yesterday, um at my mom's, there was this meter stick.
00:26:36
Speaker
And I'm like, what I said to my mom, like, what is this? I remember this at our my old house on Quill Kim, this like meter stick with like rabbits on it, like my mom, you know, where my mom got it, I can't believe my brain remembers these things. And I can't remember where my keys are. Remember how our moms always used to go to the Huttonville craft show? Oh yeah.
00:26:55
Speaker
Okay. This is from the Huttonville craft show. I'll never forget it. It's a meter stick, but it's like a cubed and like there's rabbit stamps on the side. So i was like, do you take this meter stick out for Easter? And she's like, no, she's like, look, and she grabs it and she puts it behind her. And she's showing me that your exercises. And then she's showing me to the side, what she does. And my mom has taken it upon herself to find seated senior exercises for mobility. And she uses the meter stick and she keeps it out to remind her to do it every single day. And that is my mom pushing herself. She's 83 and I couldn't be more proud of her. And that's the perfect example.
00:27:38
Speaker
That leaves her breathless. That leaves her just sore enough. And she shows up for it. well She doesn't give herself permission not to. And look at how mobile your mom is. right? That and it there's no doubt about it.
00:27:51
Speaker
What we do now in our 40s are going to affect what we become in our 80s, if we're lucky to live in or to our 90s. What we do now matters. And keeping exactly as you said, focusing on muscle, focusing on mobility, all of those things are so important. That's amazing for your mom.
00:28:10
Speaker
I think that's so it's so exciting and wonderful to see. It is and thanks for saying that. I think we should leave today exactly reflecting on what you just said Kim thinking about our why.
00:28:24
Speaker
Why would we push ourself and why are we doing this and how much do we want to be that person we see as our future self and that's a big factor for me as well is not just living to a ripe old age, um but living well and doing it with health. And there's no doubt about it.
00:28:44
Speaker
All of these things are necessary, not just one, not just the other, we need to be moving in a full spectrum.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:28:51
Speaker
And if you're not, maybe you start to zero in and ask yourself, why is that? And how can I change it? And where's my first step?
00:28:58
Speaker
Love it, Tanya. Yeah. Health span, not just lifespan for sure. And so if you're listening today, I hope this was motivating for you to start looking at your movement practices, being consistent daily and finding a balance that works for you.
00:29:14
Speaker
Absolutely. I've been sitting for far too long, so I'm going to get myself up and do a little workout. Even when I'm away, there's always something to be done. Love it, Tanya. All right. Thank you, everybody. We'll talk to you next week. Get up there and move. Okay, bye, guys. Bye.
00:29:32
Speaker
hey guys. Thanks so much for hanging out with us today. If this episode resonated with you, we would love it if you would hit like, subscribe to the podcast, and share it with a friend. We love to hear from you because let's be honest, this show is for you.
00:29:46
Speaker
If you have a topic you'd love us to tackle or want to learn more about something we talked about today, send us a message. We got you. Stay connected with us on social media at what'smyageagain.podcast for even more knowledge and inspiration between episodes.
00:30:04
Speaker
Kim and I aren't doctors or your healthcare practitioners. Everyone's body is unique, so always consult your own healthcare care provider before starting something new.