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"🔥 Burning Man Prepares Us for Anything" #67
9 Plays1 year ago
Betsy joins us from Hurricane ravaged North Carolina with some extremely personal reflections on how lessons learned at Burning Man can be helpful in the aftermath of disasters.
LINKS:
Nick Heyming's article: "So You Want to Go Help after a Major Disaster"
Burners Without Borders
HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://LifeStudent.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Hosts' Gratitude
00:00:00
Speaker
On today's episode, we talk about how Burning Man lessons can help us deal with adversity.
00:00:05
Speaker
We talk about very real firsthand experience of being in the post-hurricane in Western North Carolina and a lot of inspiration that is coming from such a hardship.
00:00:18
Speaker
Enjoy the episode.
00:00:20
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:23
Speaker
We are here sharing conversations aimed to light you up.
00:00:27
Speaker
I'm Betsy Finkelhoo, the creator of the Power Affirmation Journal and Somatic Bodyworker.
00:00:33
Speaker
I am John Halcyon, author of Love More, Fear Less, Float More, Steer Less, and host of the Morning Love Ambassador broadcasts.
00:00:43
Speaker
We always love starting everything, and especially these conversations with gratitude.
00:00:48
Speaker
So love to check in with you, Halcyon.
00:00:51
Speaker
What are you grateful for today?
Expressing Personal Gratitude
00:00:54
Speaker
Right now I'm feeling so much gratitude for the experience of hearing my beloved lead her wholehearted chorus, her wholehearted choir last night in Monterey, this 80 person choir and getting to witness her and her power.
00:01:07
Speaker
It was just so inspiring to see my beloved in this role that I'd never seen her in.
00:01:12
Speaker
It was, I am madly in love.
00:01:16
Speaker
Oh, I love that.
00:01:19
Speaker
That's so beautiful.
00:01:21
Speaker
Well, I oftentimes just keep coming back to gratitude for sunshine because when the sun is shining, I just feel myself so alive.
00:01:31
Speaker
So today the sun is shining and I'm so grateful to get to go outside right in the morning and just let it just wash over me.
00:01:39
Speaker
It is like the best vitamin there is.
00:01:43
Speaker
So today I'm grateful for sunshine.
Transition to Discussing Adversity
00:01:47
Speaker
Such a simple one.
00:01:48
Speaker
And I'm really eager to get into the topic of the day of dealing with adversity and lessons from Burning Man and how we can take those steps.
00:02:02
Speaker
lessons from Burning Man and apply them to whatever obstacles, but you specifically are in the middle of some wild obstacles and adversity.
00:02:11
Speaker
Since I've last seen you, you have flown into a disaster zone.
00:02:17
Speaker
Can you just give us a little context to where you are right now?
00:02:22
Speaker
Yeah,
Betsy's Move During a Hurricane
00:02:23
Speaker
yeah.
00:02:23
Speaker
So I am here in Asheville, North Carolina.
00:02:28
Speaker
It is about 18 days since one of the largest natural disasters in American history, Hurricane Helene, came through here and impacted and devastated much of Western North Carolina and many other surrounding states.
00:02:45
Speaker
And for those of you who have been following my journey, you know, but if you're new to my journey,
00:02:50
Speaker
It's been a process of preparing myself to move to Asheville for almost two years, honestly.
00:02:55
Speaker
I've been coming to Asheville to visit my mom, and then I started to just build community here in Asheville.
00:03:03
Speaker
And then it became very clear to me to move my entire life.
00:03:08
Speaker
And everything that I had been preparing for, slowly packing, slowly just transitioning from 20 years in San Diego to starting a new life in Asheville, everything came into the culmination of go time, full go time, about six days after the hurricane hit.
00:03:29
Speaker
So that means my storage bin that I had filled up,
00:03:32
Speaker
and my car were getting shipped here just a few days after the hurricane hit.
00:03:37
Speaker
And so it's been a very surreal experience to kind of just know that this is, I've been planning for this, but at the same time, I could have never seen something like this coming.
00:03:49
Speaker
So all of these things are in motion, the moving, the plane ticket there, your car getting moved.
00:03:58
Speaker
That's all.
00:03:58
Speaker
All those processes are in motion.
00:04:00
Speaker
And then hurricane hits.
00:04:03
Speaker
And so where's your headspace as you're like, wait, I'm rushing into the mud.
00:04:10
Speaker
Like, what?
00:04:14
Speaker
Yeah, well, you know, it's a very surreal
Divine Guidance and Community Connection
00:04:17
Speaker
experience.
00:04:17
Speaker
It's been very surreal because, you know, from a distance, I wasn't there during the hurricane.
00:04:23
Speaker
The hurricane hit on September 27th.
00:04:25
Speaker
My stuff was ready to ship and myself was ready to come back on October 4th.
00:04:31
Speaker
And it was this sort of like window of time that I felt like the universe was kind of like, are you sure?
00:04:38
Speaker
Are you sure you want to go?
00:04:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:40
Speaker
And there was no doubt in my mind that it was time for me to go.
00:04:44
Speaker
It was like perfect timing because my affirmation on my prayer has been, I know that I am divinely guided to where I need to be, when I need to be there, and who I need to be with.
00:04:54
Speaker
And so it was just like, okay, this is time.
00:04:57
Speaker
And I think, you know, in the shock, in the deep devastation of watching from a distance, so many people I know and love in Asheville that were like,
00:05:10
Speaker
you know, losing their homes and getting totally flooded out.
00:05:14
Speaker
Um, there's such a deep sense of love within myself.
00:05:18
Speaker
And there's someone special in Asheville that I've been cultivating a long distance relationship with who's, who was here during the storm.
00:05:25
Speaker
And so that was a really big driving force as well, um, to really just say, yes, I'm, I'm going, I'm coming like this is meant for me.
00:05:34
Speaker
And so I, yeah, I got, um, I got to Asheville about six days after the big,
Comparing Disaster to Burning Man
00:05:39
Speaker
big hit.
00:05:39
Speaker
Um,
00:05:41
Speaker
But with such a big disaster, there's a lot of things that come afterwards, which are, I think, personally, equally as difficult.
00:05:50
Speaker
And that's where I think we can really gain some inspiration from this conversation, especially with you, Halcyon, and Stay Sparked.
00:05:57
Speaker
We talk so much about Burning Man and what Burning Man really has taught me and so many people about survival and about living off the grid in a way.
00:06:09
Speaker
because Asheville and many other surrounding areas have had to be off grid.
00:06:14
Speaker
There was no self-service or wifi or running water or power.
00:06:19
Speaker
And that's what we do in the desert.
00:06:21
Speaker
So, okay.
00:06:22
Speaker
So, so what does that look like in your home when there's no running water?
00:06:29
Speaker
What, what, what, what is, what is the, your fix solution?
00:06:33
Speaker
How do you figure out, how do you, how do you deal with that?
00:06:39
Speaker
So thankfully, my partner is also really prepared.
00:06:45
Speaker
So we set up a dish station like we do at Burning Man.
00:06:49
Speaker
We've got your three or four bins.
00:06:51
Speaker
We've got the washing bins and the sanitizer and the rinse bin and then the drying place.
00:06:55
Speaker
So we're using our dishes.
00:06:57
Speaker
A lot of people were using paper plates.
00:07:01
Speaker
A lot of carrying water.
00:07:04
Speaker
So we had to go fill up our jugs at a place that's not too far from here, thankfully, that had a well so we could fill up our jugs.
00:07:13
Speaker
But that was a whole thing, too, because to get the water from the well and a clean hose...
00:07:18
Speaker
that had to get set up.
00:07:20
Speaker
There's many people that weren't so fortunate to be able to do that because a lot of people's roads were taken out.
00:07:26
Speaker
And so to fill up their jugs is just, you know, nearly impossible.
Appreciating Conveniences Post-Disaster
00:07:31
Speaker
I mean, what an incredible, what an incredible just like, I mean, I don't wish it upon anyone, but I go through my days without that kind of appreciation for water.
00:07:44
Speaker
You know, I, I,
00:07:46
Speaker
And I sometimes, well, I often will mention it during my daily gratitude practice, you know, I'm so grateful for access to a shower, so grateful for plumbing, so grateful for those things.
00:07:56
Speaker
But it's at places like at Burning Man, when I really feel what it means, and it sounds like carrying your water is...
00:08:07
Speaker
You know, with so many people around the planet, it's their normal life.
00:08:10
Speaker
But so many of us live our day to day without a connection to that gratitude.
00:08:17
Speaker
And wow, it sounds like you are being overwhelmed with reminders.
00:08:23
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:08:24
Speaker
It's amazing.
00:08:25
Speaker
And you know what?
00:08:26
Speaker
The more I'm starting to realize there are a lot of people that do this regularly.
00:08:30
Speaker
You know, I've had a lot of conversations with a lot of different friends from all over.
00:08:34
Speaker
Sharing, you know, one woman shared she grew up actually without running water in Germany, you know, and she knows how to do it.
00:08:40
Speaker
I have a friend who lives the van life and he does that all the time.
00:08:44
Speaker
He has to fill up his jugs and he has to really be mindful of his consumption of water.
00:08:49
Speaker
And it really that's what Burning Man taught me so much.
00:08:53
Speaker
learning how to use sanitation sprays or do sponge baths or find just different ways to consume in a different way.
00:09:05
Speaker
It's like when you don't have the lesson of that,
00:09:09
Speaker
without it, then there is this tendency that human nature and our culture is over consumption, which is, in my opinion, part of the problem that we're kind of facing, um, to just let the water run and just not even think about where it's coming from.
00:09:23
Speaker
Right.
00:09:23
Speaker
You know, it was like, wow.
00:09:25
Speaker
So it's like, there's a disconnect.
00:09:27
Speaker
You know, it's like, oh, I don't really care.
00:09:29
Speaker
I don't really know even know where this water is coming from.
00:09:31
Speaker
But when you start to realize, like, I'm the one that's going to be carrying this water, I'm not going to use it so mindlessly.
00:09:40
Speaker
So there is something really powerful about getting in touch with the elements in a whole new level.
00:09:46
Speaker
Same thing with fuel.
00:09:48
Speaker
So we turn our light switch on.
00:09:50
Speaker
It's connected to the electrical grid.
00:09:53
Speaker
But what if you have to use a generator?
00:09:55
Speaker
You know, then we're having to fill up gasoline.
00:09:58
Speaker
So then I'm starting to think like, oh, okay, I don't need to be having this many lights on all the time.
00:10:03
Speaker
Oh, I better, maybe I can like actually start to simplify some of my consumption of energy as well because it's direct, it's a direct impact on how much I'm going to have to work for it.
00:10:15
Speaker
Pouring fuel into a generator also means going to get the fuel from the gas station.
00:10:19
Speaker
You know, I have to use the fuel to get the, so it's a whole other relationship to the elements that is really,
00:10:26
Speaker
being activated in my personal experience and also watching around me hear what people are having to go through and everything just takes a lot longer.
00:10:36
Speaker
And so it's a real blessing to be kind of thrown into this to get in touch with these things, even though it's very difficult.
00:10:45
Speaker
You know, we can see that it's actually getting us closer to the elements and to the earth.
00:10:49
Speaker
It's a dangerous mindset that myself and most people are in without that connection.
00:10:57
Speaker
To really everything.
00:10:59
Speaker
Amazon things show up on my doorstep.
00:11:01
Speaker
I have no sense of the fuel required, of the energy consumption, of the creation of this plastic thing.
00:11:08
Speaker
There's just so many pieces of the supply chain that I take for granted of everything, of electricity, of water, of food, grocery stores, all these things and everything.
00:11:19
Speaker
And as I'm hearing you, you know, you are that that that ignorance is bliss.
00:11:25
Speaker
Modern consumer experience has been severed.
00:11:29
Speaker
And now you have to really be aware of the way everything that you participate in in your life, how it gets to you, how you use it.
00:11:37
Speaker
It's just amazing, actually, kind of blow my mind.
00:11:41
Speaker
Yeah, it's mindfulness.
00:11:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:43
Speaker
And I really care about that.
00:11:44
Speaker
And I think that's really so, so beautiful to be able to just keep coming back to those principles, right, of what Burning Man 2 is like pack it in, pack it out.
00:11:53
Speaker
Same thing, we didn't have trash for two and a half weeks.
00:11:57
Speaker
There is no trash pickup.
00:11:59
Speaker
And so that's a whole other level of mindfulness, right, of our consumption.
00:12:04
Speaker
How am I going to actually do things in a way that is going to be less impactful?
00:12:08
Speaker
Right.
00:12:09
Speaker
Right.
00:12:10
Speaker
on the planet you know was there I mean of all of these
Lessons from Burning Man and Pandemic
00:12:16
Speaker
these services you know water trash power is there is there one that is more difficult to get over or figure out um
00:12:32
Speaker
Well, I think it's just overall the conveniences.
00:12:34
Speaker
I think the water is the biggest one.
00:12:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:37
Speaker
You know, I've been comparing this experience to a mixture of Burning Man and the pandemic.
00:12:45
Speaker
You know, because the pandemic had this very strange feeling where a lot of things that I would have never thought to be taken for granted got taken away.
00:12:56
Speaker
Like being able to hug my friends.
00:12:58
Speaker
You know, I would have never thought that I wouldn't be able to do that.
00:13:02
Speaker
Right.
00:13:02
Speaker
And during the pandemic, that was taken away for a while.
00:13:06
Speaker
And same thing, I had never really considered that there might be a time where I wouldn't be able to turn my faucet on for weeks.
00:13:13
Speaker
Thankfully, they were saying it was going to be months, but thankfully the city has kind of gotten some systems running where there's actually now non-potable water coming into the pipes, which is good.
00:13:26
Speaker
But I, yeah, I would have never considered like, you know, how do I live without running water?
00:13:32
Speaker
In a city.
00:13:34
Speaker
I've been thinking about what are the lessons from Burning Man that would apply.
00:13:42
Speaker
I have never actually had to survive a disaster through Burning Man skills or mindsets.
00:13:50
Speaker
But I have had some moments at different events where the conditions got to a point of scary and uncertainty.
00:14:00
Speaker
a few of the things that I remember is this kind of, I guess, a faith that you can figure things out.
00:14:09
Speaker
And optimism or a, you know, recognizing that there's a creativity of problem solving that you learn.
00:14:20
Speaker
Because when you're at Burning Man, you know, you are, you have everything that you're going to have.
00:14:25
Speaker
So you can't go to a hardware store to solve a problem.
00:14:28
Speaker
You either need to
00:14:30
Speaker
make it work with what you got or ask a neighbor or do it out.
00:14:36
Speaker
And I think there's, like I remember being in a festival in Mexico and there's this crazy rain and wind and most people's tents were destroyed.
00:14:47
Speaker
And the people who had not gone to Burning Man were kind of running around Chicken Little style saying, we're doomed, we're going to die in Mexico.
00:14:54
Speaker
And the Burners were kind of laughing, skipping around in the rain.
00:14:58
Speaker
And noticing that difference of like, this isn't what we asked for, but we're going to figure it out.
00:15:06
Speaker
That can make such a big difference, I think, in creating
00:15:10
Speaker
in that mindset of, uh, which reminds me of, of your mindset of like, instead of the, the, the, I would imagine the default attitude of, okay, I had a ticket to go to this is that towards a problem, but instead of avoiding a problem, I'm just going to recognize, I'm going to figure out how to deal with it.
00:15:27
Speaker
It can be dealt with.
00:15:28
Speaker
It's doable.
00:15:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:31
Speaker
That conviction, that deep inner belief.
00:15:35
Speaker
The optimistic way of being, I feel like that's a muscle.
00:15:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:40
Speaker
You know, and when we have cultivated a strength in our optimistic mindset, then when a very big challenge, like a natural disaster comes in, then there is the strength to stay hopeful and stay strong.
00:15:54
Speaker
And that's important.
00:15:55
Speaker
It's so important because it can be very easy to lose hope.
00:15:58
Speaker
And if you don't have hope, then you can spiral into deep depression.
00:16:03
Speaker
And then it's really difficult to do anything and actually get through the survival part of it.
00:16:08
Speaker
And so that optimism, I think, is such an important thing.
00:16:12
Speaker
And I think you're right.
00:16:13
Speaker
It's like the preparation is, of course, and a very vital part of all of it, knowing how to...
00:16:23
Speaker
you know, get your needs met when it comes down to those, like, you know, if you were in this at the festival when all that shit was going down, it's like, okay, well, make sure you have all your, your needs met, then you can be able to stay in that optimistic mindset.
00:16:38
Speaker
And I think the other part that I want to speak to in reflection of what I heard you say is checking in with your neighbors.
Community Support and Resilience
00:16:45
Speaker
The community naturally will get really strong when there is that need.
00:16:50
Speaker
And that's what's been happening here.
00:16:53
Speaker
You know, people that didn't have generators, people that, you know, didn't have the resources that weren't prepared, did have to go to their neighbors and ask.
00:17:03
Speaker
Sharing refrigerators, sharing generators, you know, sharing meals.
00:17:09
Speaker
There was a lot of that.
00:17:11
Speaker
And it really brought people together in this beautiful way.
00:17:14
Speaker
And, you know, also on the playa, Burning Man people build shit together.
00:17:19
Speaker
They dismantle shit together too.
00:17:21
Speaker
You know, people here, I've heard so many stories where, you know, there's so many trees down and all of a sudden neighbors appear with chainsaws.
00:17:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:29
Speaker
And everyone's working together.
00:17:30
Speaker
Everyone's helping each other.
00:17:33
Speaker
People are sharing things in a way that would not have happened before.
00:17:37
Speaker
And it's really so beautiful to see how the community here in Appalachia is so resilient, so strong.
00:17:46
Speaker
You know, these people have been coming out of the woodworks with their heavy machinery, rebuilding roads.
00:17:53
Speaker
You know, FEMA has taken quite a while, apparently.
00:17:58
Speaker
And so a lot of the people that have been doing a lot of the work are people that are in the churches, people that are the neighbors.
00:18:03
Speaker
They're just friends, communities.
00:18:05
Speaker
I know multiple communities that started their own resource centers.
00:18:09
Speaker
Not just waiting.
00:18:10
Speaker
For someone else to come save them.
00:18:11
Speaker
It's like, hey, no, we're actually here.
00:18:14
Speaker
Let's let's do this.
00:18:16
Speaker
And so it's been so beautiful.
00:18:18
Speaker
That's so I mean, I think there's.
00:18:23
Speaker
Part of that saying, you know, you don't appreciate the resources.
00:18:29
Speaker
And something about this, our isolation in our supply chain, you know, abundance, we get caught up in the selfishness, you know.
00:18:41
Speaker
And I think that there's a narrative that...
00:18:43
Speaker
Many people live in whether they're aware of it or not.
00:18:45
Speaker
You take care of yourself and there's an us-them.
00:18:49
Speaker
But it's so beautiful to witness, at least from the stories I've heard from you and others, of when things fall apart, people are not hoarding their own stuff and pushing away their neighbors.
00:19:01
Speaker
They're pooling resources.
00:19:04
Speaker
They're stepping up to help others.
00:19:05
Speaker
It's like there's something...
00:19:07
Speaker
Deep down in your heart that goes, nothing matters except for helping one another or the most important thing is helping one another.
00:19:16
Speaker
And when that kicks in, it's like, wow, I mean, what a beautiful pearl inside a bunch of suffering.
00:19:25
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:19:26
Speaker
The pearl is such a perfect metaphor because it's like it comes from an irritation inside the shell.
00:19:33
Speaker
A piece of sand just keeps rubbing, rubbing, rubbing.
00:19:35
Speaker
It's so irritating and uncomfortable, and it creates this pearl.
00:19:39
Speaker
You know, and I really want to speak to this element that I've been noticing to myself and others around, you know, coming in to help and wanting to help, but then also knowing when it's time to rest.
00:19:51
Speaker
Because that's a really, really important part of something so big like this.
00:19:56
Speaker
And also, I'll just keep coming back to Burning Man.
00:19:58
Speaker
It's important to rest as well, whether you're out on the playa just building stuff and helping the community or doing whatever it is, or in a natural disaster.
00:20:10
Speaker
You can't actually be of the best service unless your tank is full.
00:20:16
Speaker
And so there is an important part of the self-care is actually in contribution to the community as well.
00:20:24
Speaker
And so there's a whole level of letting go and trusting that my time to help is coming.
00:20:31
Speaker
And I'm like, there's been moments where I'm like, I'm helping in small little ways.
00:20:36
Speaker
And then there's other moments where all of a sudden a really big opportunity to help comes.
00:20:40
Speaker
And the, in between sometimes finding this like guilt for not helping more and then working on letting that go and facing actually, no, I'm tending to myself.
00:20:50
Speaker
So that way I will be able to help in a greater capacity of when,
00:20:54
Speaker
the inspiration moves me to or when I'm called to.
00:20:59
Speaker
Yeah, I think that is, that is such a difficult
00:21:04
Speaker
thing for people witnessing so much suffering and struggle and it's easy to feel guilt when you're in any headspace other than sympathy or other than action like I need to be helping or else I should I feel guilty it's it's hard to to hold a
00:21:28
Speaker
while also recognizing that you can have joy in your life
Balancing Personal Joy and Responsibility
00:21:33
Speaker
as well.
00:21:33
Speaker
I mean, right now I'm in the process of
00:21:35
Speaker
of moving places to a new home that I'm excited about.
00:21:38
Speaker
And I had a really like, oh my God, how dare I, you know, how dare I celebrate a beautiful home while I know people that are homeless.
00:21:49
Speaker
And I think it's, that is a, an understandable feeling, but it is such a trap because if you wait to celebrate, to you wait to, to experience joy until all suffering is relieved, then you will squander your life.
00:22:04
Speaker
And so it's how can we dance when we can hear the music and then how can we help when we have the energy to help?
00:22:11
Speaker
How can we rest when we need to rest?
00:22:14
Speaker
And the human experience is about, you know, we got to hold it all.
00:22:18
Speaker
That's the goal is how we hold it all.
00:22:25
Speaker
Yes, I think that's so beautifully stated.
00:22:28
Speaker
The other, just as a person far away, trying to process how to be most helpful, I know that it can be very tempting that action is the solution.
00:22:47
Speaker
I know that when I was younger, I had a tendency to want to be the hero of
00:22:52
Speaker
you know, and want to get in a car and, you know, bring food to somebody.
00:22:58
Speaker
And I think we both read an article by Nick that we'll put in the show notes about kind of pause yourself and acknowledge that there's often...
00:23:11
Speaker
organizations and people who understand systems better so that your resources can be
Organizing Resources and Support
00:23:18
Speaker
used in the best way.
00:23:18
Speaker
So whether it is, you know, writing a check or if there is labor that can be used, try to, to, to use it, um, in support of people and systems that, that have a better sense.
00:23:30
Speaker
Cause sometimes you can cause a lot more, um, difficulty and congestion by, uh, going off on your own, um, night's journey without understanding how you can be best of help.
00:23:43
Speaker
Right, exactly, because then it overwhelms the system, which happens.
00:23:48
Speaker
And this right when the hurricane happened, I talked to Nick Hyming, who is very experienced in natural disaster relief.
00:23:55
Speaker
And he said there's these phases and the natural tendency for people on the outside is to send resources.
00:24:00
Speaker
It's like, oh, send supplies.
00:24:04
Speaker
Then after that, people start sending clothing, which both of those end up getting overwhelming like too much.
00:24:11
Speaker
Right now I'm seeing that.
00:24:12
Speaker
So first it was like, okay, there's these resource centers popping up everywhere.
00:24:16
Speaker
There's all this free stuff, you know, all the paper products and canned food and diapers and all that.
00:24:22
Speaker
Tons of it.
00:24:23
Speaker
Every few blocks people are, you know, sharing, which is really beautiful.
00:24:27
Speaker
But then all of a sudden there's so much that these donation centers just don't have the manpower to organize it all
00:24:34
Speaker
And then what happens when the clothing comes in, in bags and bags and bags and bags, and there's nowhere to put it all, let alone where, I was thinking about this, there's a lot of people that have lost their homes just a couple weeks ago, and people are sending in donations of clothing, but these people that lost their homes, they don't have a closet.
00:24:58
Speaker
They probably maybe will have a suitcase or a bag,
00:25:01
Speaker
But like to have such an abundance of clothing, a lot of it's going to get wasted, unfortunately, if it sits in bags outside in the rain.
00:25:08
Speaker
Right.
00:25:09
Speaker
And so it's unfortunate.
00:25:11
Speaker
Like I think that we get to be really creative in our solutions on how we can...
00:25:17
Speaker
help in alternative ways than the norm, right?
00:25:21
Speaker
This has been happening for so many disasters.
00:25:24
Speaker
I mean, my friend wrote it in an article many, many years ago, and I hear it's still happening.
00:25:29
Speaker
So how do we stay sparked, stay inspired, stay creative in our ways of supporting and helping?
00:25:35
Speaker
And that's what I've been trying to think about and share.
00:25:38
Speaker
And one of the things that I have found really powerful is to be able to spread information and share people's stories and
00:25:46
Speaker
Because we can relate to one another through stories.
00:25:50
Speaker
You know, like I was just with a friend who lost his home and his farm.
00:25:56
Speaker
The flood came in, literally lifted his home off the foundation, turned it around, and then like set it back down, down the way.
00:26:04
Speaker
And everything has mud and everything in it.
00:26:07
Speaker
He's got quite the story.
00:26:08
Speaker
And, you know, he's a friend.
00:26:11
Speaker
He's someone I know.
00:26:12
Speaker
That could be you.
00:26:13
Speaker
That could be another friend.
00:26:15
Speaker
And so to be able to share his story and then let another person read it.
00:26:21
Speaker
It can be very touching.
00:26:23
Speaker
And then maybe there's a contribution there from someone.
00:26:25
Speaker
Maybe that inspiration flows, right?
00:26:27
Speaker
Sharing each other's stories, getting the word out because the news does not cover those kinds of things.
00:26:32
Speaker
But we're so lucky that we have our own social networks of news called social media.
00:26:38
Speaker
Spreading that information, spreading each other's stories is a really beautiful way to be able to contribute and to, you know, let it be okay to have, there's some sad things.
00:26:51
Speaker
It's okay, you know, to stay aware, to stay awake to what's happening.
00:26:55
Speaker
I think it's really helpful.
00:26:58
Speaker
And then one of the other things that I have found has been really beautiful is to reach out to each other.
00:27:06
Speaker
Words of affirmation and love, kindness, hugs.
00:27:09
Speaker
We talked about this on another episode, you know, staying in touch with friends.
00:27:12
Speaker
I think that was the episode.
00:27:14
Speaker
You know, when we send a little text that just says hug.
00:27:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:18
Speaker
It feels so good.
00:27:20
Speaker
That's so good to hear.
00:27:24
Speaker
I know that initially with internet being down, I was hearing from people saying, it's difficult to respond.
00:27:35
Speaker
I'm overwhelmed with people's contact.
00:27:38
Speaker
And so it's a good reminder that I think most people are at a place now where they would appreciate a message of, I'm thinking about you.
00:27:48
Speaker
Well, yeah, and I think what you might be referring to is I saw what was happening where a lot of people were sending out messages requesting a response, saying, hey, how are you?
00:28:01
Speaker
How are you dealing with it?
00:28:02
Speaker
And so can you imagine receiving 20 messages in a day that says, hey, how are you?
00:28:07
Speaker
What's going on?
00:28:09
Speaker
Then you finally get a signal.
00:28:11
Speaker
You have, you know, 10 minutes to respond.
00:28:13
Speaker
It's very different than getting 20 messages, the 20 messages that say, I love you.
00:28:18
Speaker
I'm here for you if you need anything.
00:28:20
Speaker
Great point.
00:28:20
Speaker
Thinking of you.
00:28:22
Speaker
Very different than like kind of unconsciously demanding a response.
00:28:27
Speaker
So, you know, like I got a message from my, like from a friend the other day that just said thinking of you every day.
00:28:33
Speaker
And like, I just paused and I felt my heart and it felt really nice to just receive that.
00:28:38
Speaker
Like he wasn't expecting me to respond and give him a message.
00:28:42
Speaker
I'll be, I am happy to respond to some, especially now that there's more time and I'm not like schlepping.
00:28:49
Speaker
I'm not like carrying buckets of water anymore.
00:28:53
Speaker
But, you know, there is something about that beyond disaster.
00:28:57
Speaker
You know, I was thinking about what about when someone dies?
Encouraging Kindness and Support
00:29:00
Speaker
You know, if you know your friend is grieving, I think that in our culture, sometimes we don't know what to say.
00:29:06
Speaker
And I feel like there's these sort of common things that people just like,
00:29:12
Speaker
go to to say like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm here for you, or I can't imagine what you're going through, or like,
00:29:20
Speaker
I don't know, it seems like a lot of that is kind of redundant.
00:29:24
Speaker
Or the how are you doing, that's an assignment.
00:29:26
Speaker
Now I've given you work that you have to do.
00:29:30
Speaker
I was, a time when I was feeling really ill and I shared that online and then I got so many people asking me how I was doing and I was like, I just don't, this is making me, I don't have the energy to respond and it did not make me feel better.
00:29:45
Speaker
That's a really good point that you're bringing up.
00:29:48
Speaker
How do you send support without adding to someone's burden?
00:29:53
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:29:54
Speaker
And that's how simple can be just, I'm sending you a virtual cup of tea or like, hey, just want to let you know if you need a place to come stay, I'm here.
00:30:04
Speaker
You know, like, hey, you know, one of the other things too I noticed is like a few dollars in people's Venmo, like sprinkling that.
00:30:13
Speaker
I've had an opportunity to do that.
00:30:16
Speaker
um with people that I know directly or that have been impacted even if it's five ten twenty fifty dollars you know is like put a little love note in there that says help is on its way have faith trust this process whatever it might be just a little like hey I'm you know I hope this multiplies many times over it can really be just a little sprinkling of hope it's so easy to just like
00:30:41
Speaker
swipe to the next story or swipe to the next post or just look the other direction because you're like, well, I have my own bills to pay and I can't do it.
00:30:50
Speaker
But what about like that cup of coffee that, you know, you just bought and, you know,
00:30:54
Speaker
you know, that was like the $8 latte, you know, like that, that it's like, but I think you're right.
00:31:02
Speaker
That's another good reminder that, that, um, you know, a, a small, lots of small gestures, uh, it can mean, it can mean a lot.
00:31:12
Speaker
Like, I think sometimes I try to figure out like, well, I can't donate to everybody, but what am I going to donate to?
00:31:17
Speaker
Like, well, actually I could give
00:31:20
Speaker
coffee to everybody you know that that that is that is doable and it's it's not there's nothing embarrassing about like I only gave three dollars to your GoFundMe no you can do that you know and then you're allowed to do that and put a little coffee on there coffee emoji or taco right right because that shit adds up it really does and when people are really stressed and devastated I'm trying to figure out how to do all these things it's like hey like hey let me buy you a cup of coffee or sandwich and
00:31:47
Speaker
And it's the dollar amount and it's the care.
00:31:50
Speaker
This reminds me of so much of what we try to do at First Saturdays.
00:31:53
Speaker
It's like the food and the clothing that we're giving to people in need is just a part of it.
00:31:59
Speaker
The more lasting gift is, I see you.
00:32:04
Speaker
You're in my thoughts.
00:32:06
Speaker
You matter.
00:32:06
Speaker
You're not invisible.
00:32:09
Speaker
And so I think that a $2 coffee, long after the coffee is digested, there is a feeling of connection that lasts forever.
00:32:23
Speaker
I love you.
00:32:24
Speaker
Yes, that's it.
00:32:25
Speaker
That's it.
00:32:27
Speaker
You know, as a love ambassador, fully embodied, you know, for those of you who are new to us, haven't listened to Stay Sparked.
00:32:35
Speaker
Halcyon is a number one love ambassador.
00:32:38
Speaker
He initiated me as a love ambassador.
00:32:41
Speaker
I hope that these little gestures, I feel like these are the kinds of things that make the world a better place.
00:32:47
Speaker
The little things that we do every day,
00:32:50
Speaker
you know, giving somebody a sense of hope, caring for somebody, a little bit of generosity can go a very long way.
00:32:57
Speaker
It can change people's lives.
00:32:59
Speaker
You know, I spent 30 minutes with a guy today helping him to better understand the algorithms on social media so he could build his GoFundMe.
00:33:08
Speaker
You know, it was a small thing, but that might go a long way for him.
00:33:13
Speaker
And it's like, I am happy to share that, you know, and then like he'll pay that forward.
00:33:17
Speaker
He's helping someone with what he has.
00:33:20
Speaker
We're all in this together.
00:33:21
Speaker
We can really lean into each other in that way.
00:33:24
Speaker
And I think that that's what this big situation is really bringing up for me and I think for a lot of us.
00:33:32
Speaker
Yeah, I think, I mean, the one of the the beautiful sparks that happens in during terrible times is we get reminded of how much good is out there and how good people can be.
00:33:48
Speaker
And, you know, there's a sticker that I make and give away that says, be the reason that someone believes people are good.
00:33:55
Speaker
Because it can be easy to fall into a narrative that like, people suck, you gotta protect yourself.
00:34:02
Speaker
And you're in a situation where I think you're witnessing that all over the place, but we don't have to be in a disaster to put a little bit of extra effort
00:34:12
Speaker
to show somebody be that person that someone goes, you know what, look at that.
00:34:16
Speaker
People are good.
00:34:18
Speaker
And then, then it reminds you, I too can be that I too can, can pass on those ripples of tiny gestures of kindness that, you know, over, over time can add up to, to massive, massive impact.
00:34:33
Speaker
Yes.
00:34:34
Speaker
So well said, such a beautiful way to live.
00:34:37
Speaker
And, you know, as we are coming to, I think, uh,
00:34:41
Speaker
close of this conversation, there's one last spark that I really want to speak to that has come through from this experience here is how something traumatic can really put us in touch with our nervous system response and how dynamic it really is and how fragile it can be and how many different things can come about from experiencing PTSD or shock.
00:35:09
Speaker
And what I've been
00:35:10
Speaker
how I've been staying sparked and inspired to navigate these kind of feelings are recognizing that there's so many people out there that have been teaching on polyvagal theory practices to be able to strengthen the vagus nerve, to be able to strengthen our body's response.
00:35:32
Speaker
So with breath work, through eye exercises, through bilateral stimulation, through these different
00:35:40
Speaker
self-massage, self-soothing techniques to be able to navigate these very intense feelings of shock and overwhelm and anxiety and fear and all of these things that are very real.
00:35:52
Speaker
And how do we actually harness the power of the technology in our bodies to be able to move through such shock?
Strengthening the Nervous System
00:36:00
Speaker
And so I'm just going to give a little shout-out plug to Premagaya,
00:36:04
Speaker
She has a course on Insight Timer that teaches about the vagus nerve and about trauma response.
00:36:12
Speaker
And so for anyone out there, I feel this is worth learning about whether or not you're in a traumatic experience or not.
00:36:21
Speaker
It's a really very beautiful way to better understand our nervous system.
00:36:26
Speaker
Because our systems, our biological bodies react to the world in dramatic ways, whether it's a real crisis or not, whether it's we're late for work or we're...
00:36:42
Speaker
running out of water in both situations our our body uh can get frazzled and freaked out so those are definitely good skills to to have my final spark is uh just a appreciation and a witnessing of you betsy as a a love ambassador of the highest sort of bringing your
00:37:07
Speaker
optimism and your faith and your good spirit and you know there are people who have skills such as working tractors and digging ditches and there are people who have skills in in uh in rescuing spirits and i think you are so such an asset and an and a and a heroic person i'm so proud to know you and so glad that you are on the ground
00:37:33
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:37:35
Speaker
My heart feels so full.
00:37:36
Speaker
Thank you for that acknowledgement.
00:37:38
Speaker
So beautifully put.
00:37:39
Speaker
It's helpful to just be reminded that we each have our own unique ways of getting to share, to give, to support.
00:37:47
Speaker
All unique in our own ways.
00:37:49
Speaker
And yes, I love getting to spread light and optimism and hope and cultivate that within myself.
00:37:55
Speaker
So thank you for that reflection.
00:37:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:59
Speaker
Oh, my goodness.
00:38:00
Speaker
Okay, well, I'm so grateful to return to the recording here.
00:38:04
Speaker
It's been a few weeks since we recorded, and we have some more coming up.
00:38:08
Speaker
I'm so excited to just keep the sparks flowing.
00:38:10
Speaker
flowing with you.
00:38:13
Speaker
And before we close it out with an affirmation, I'd love to just give those of you who haven't found us online an opportunity to get to follow us and learn more about our work.
00:38:23
Speaker
So I'll start us off.
00:38:25
Speaker
So if you want to find more about my work, you can find poweraffirmation.com is where I put a lot of the information for the journal and the inspiration cards and the audio affirmations that are really tools for
00:38:39
Speaker
self-empowerment, and mindset repatterning.
00:38:42
Speaker
And then I also do somatic body work, healing work.
00:38:46
Speaker
I use an aerial somatic swing to do gravity-assisted body work, and I do intuitive energy work as well, one-on-one.
00:38:54
Speaker
So please find me on poweraffirmation.com or finkelhoo.com, which is my last name.
00:39:00
Speaker
And, of course, on the socials.
00:39:01
Speaker
Reach out, say hi, connect.
00:39:04
Speaker
I love getting to just weave community.
00:39:07
Speaker
It's a mess.
00:39:08
Speaker
That's how you
Hosts' Personal Projects and Closing Affirmations
00:39:09
Speaker
can find me.
00:39:09
Speaker
How about you?
00:39:11
Speaker
You can find all my daily broadcasts and goodies at lifestudent.com.
00:39:17
Speaker
I'm also planning on a live workshop retreat weekend in San Diego in January.
00:39:24
Speaker
And I'm going to be bringing on two or three more one-on-one clients in the next month.
00:39:29
Speaker
So I'm looking for some people who would be a good fit.
00:39:33
Speaker
If you'd like to reach out, I would love to see if it's the right person to talk to you.
00:39:40
Speaker
Amazing.
00:39:41
Speaker
Let's affirm it.
00:39:42
Speaker
Let's affirm it.
00:39:44
Speaker
Okay.
00:39:45
Speaker
We're closing it out with an affirmation.
00:39:48
Speaker
Remembering affirmations are not just about staying positive all the time.
00:39:52
Speaker
Affirmations are a way to focus the mind in a way that helps us to really move through whatever life is giving us.
00:39:59
Speaker
So an affirmation and reflection of today's conversation is I am able to face life's challenges with grace.
00:40:07
Speaker
I'm able to face,
00:40:08
Speaker
Face life's challenges with grace.
00:40:11
Speaker
I am able to face life's challenges with grace.
00:40:15
Speaker
I am a graceful warrior of light.
00:40:18
Speaker
I am a graceful warrior of light.
00:40:22
Speaker
I am light.
00:40:23
Speaker
I am light.
00:40:24
Speaker
I am light.
00:40:25
Speaker
I am safe.
00:40:27
Speaker
I'm exactly where I need to be, when I need to be there, and who I need to be with in order to live my mission out fully on this planet.
00:40:35
Speaker
And so it is...
00:40:39
Speaker
Love you guys.
00:40:40
Speaker
Thanks for listening.
00:40:41
Speaker
Thank you, Halcyon.
00:40:43
Speaker
Thank you.
00:40:43
Speaker
Stay sparked, everyone.
00:40:47
Speaker
Find us on Instagram at stay sparked and leave us a five star review on Apple podcast.
00:40:52
Speaker
Thanks so much for helping us spread these sparks.