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3. Gamma | Denouncing the D9
51 Plays6 months ago
It's nothing new for people to leave their respective fraternities and sororities, however, there is a trend of public announcements of people denouncing Divine Nine organizations. In this episode, we explore what this trend may be about. More importantly, we examine what this means for members who remain faithful to their NPHC fraternities and sororities.
Ethocast is a "For Our Edification" limited series and is supported by Edify Ventures, LLC.
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Transcript
Social Media Trend of Denouncement
00:00:00
Speaker
So there is a trend on social media among people who have left Divine Nine organizations and that is them denouncing those organizations. It does beg the question, at least a couple of questions. One question is what happened?
Introduction to Ethocast and Eddie Francis
00:00:18
Speaker
It's episode gamma of Ethocast.
00:00:23
Speaker
Welcome to Ethocast, a podcast about sound leadership practices to boost life in college fraternities and sororities. I'm Eddie Francis, presenter of Followership to Leadership and the Black Greek Success Program, presentations designed to help Greeks become more ethical.
00:00:39
Speaker
effective leaders. On Ethocast, I'll share lessons learned from my college days, my career journey, and leadership research. Ethocast is a four-hour edification limited series and presented by edify adventures. This is Ethocast, leadership to the letter.
00:00:57
Speaker
Thank you so much for joining me on Ethocast. My name is Eddie Francis. I am so pleased that you decided to hang out with me and I hope that you hang out with me all the way through.
Personal Story of Denouncement and Social Media Influence
00:01:07
Speaker
So I was in college 30 plus years ago and one day
00:01:13
Speaker
One of my friends who was a member of one of the at the time known as the great eight sororities Comes to a group of us and says y'all will not believe what happened So and so didn't decided that she no longer wants to be a member of her sorority and we're sitting there going wait What and this was somebody who looked really dedicated?
00:01:33
Speaker
And so everybody is just sitting around, just miles hanging open. What do you mean? What do you mean? She doesn't want to be a member and what's going on? And the person said, she's a born again Christian. And eventually it all kind of died out. She went her way. The rest of us went our way. And I have to say to this day, I mean, I am connected to her via social media and I see stuff going on and we're cool.
00:01:57
Speaker
But with this recent trend of folks who are denouncing their divine nine organizations, and I did see at least one fraternity and one organization is not a fraternity get denounced by someone.
Identity and Cultural Awareness in Greek Life
00:02:10
Speaker
But with all of these folks who are denouncing, I can't help but wonder if we had had social media back then, would she have used social media to make her announcement of her denouncement? Who knows?
00:02:25
Speaker
I started to ask myself one big question, and that one big question is what do we not know? The views expressed on Ethocast do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts, guests, or any entities with which this podcast's participants are affiliated. Questions, comments, email eddie at eddiefrancis.com. So there's a second thing that I'm wondering, where does this leave those of us who are
00:02:55
Speaker
dedicated to the divine nine in whatever way that is to whatever degree that is. So let me, let me tackle this first thing. And this first thing is what do we not know? I have the privilege of teaching a college class right now on cultural awareness. And it just so happens that we are covering identity in this module of the class.
00:03:24
Speaker
Our identities change and let's, let's just, first of all, define identity. Identity is how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us as well. So it is a, it's not an either or it is a both and because both of those things affect us. It affects the kinds of decisions that we make. It affects how we communicate with other people fall of 88.
Shifting Identities and Personal Growth
00:03:53
Speaker
I am a first semester college student saying, no, I don't want to have anything to do with Greek life. And, and I was, I was confident in myself and a bit cocky. And my identity at the time was somewhat defiant. And the reason it was defiant was quite frankly,
00:04:14
Speaker
with apologies to my alma mater. I was at a university that I just didn't want to be at at the time. I, I had visions of myself leaving the South to go to school. Right. And then the second semester rolls around and I have this great opportunity to become a member of Alpha.
00:04:35
Speaker
And so I become a member of alpha and I became a little bit more confident, but I also became more connected to my blackness. And so the identity shift with me really was instantaneous and then it shifted again.
00:04:55
Speaker
It shifted again when I unfortunately decided to prioritize my fraternity life over my school life. And so the identity becomes a little bit more chaotic, right? And then it shifts again, when I get into my career, it shifts again, as I get deeper into my career. So you get the point here, identities shift.
00:05:22
Speaker
One of the things that we search for constantly is we, we search for meaning.
Meaning and Fulfillment in Greek Life
00:05:28
Speaker
We're always trying to figure out what a certain thing is going to mean to us in our lives. And for those of us in Greek life, meaning becomes a really significant thing. I mean, think about it. You have this organization that you decide to join. It is a mission based organization. And what is this about trying to find all of this meaning?
00:05:52
Speaker
Well, what it is is that you're trying to find ways to grow. So let's look at the folks who decide to denounce their divine nine organizations. What about them? What do we not know about what has changed in their identities? And I'm not saying that the change is bad or good. I'm just saying that it happened, right?
00:06:14
Speaker
It's not so much that we need to answer the question about what changed. It's just that we need to understand that something changed and maybe for them, the meaning that they were looking for was not in their fraternity or sorority. Maybe it wasn't in the chapter. Maybe it was something with school.
00:06:36
Speaker
Maybe it was something in their personal lives. We don't know unless people tell us outright what it is. And I'm not saying that whatever it is is something tragic. Let's not make that assumption.
Reasons for Denouncement: Push or Pull?
00:06:51
Speaker
Sometimes, I was told this really interesting thing by a business counselor. I went to go see this business counselor when I started my company Edify Ventures.
00:07:05
Speaker
And he said, listen, if you're going to do this business thing, you got to realize something. You have to figure out whether or not there is a push or a pull with this business. Are you starting this business because you are pulled to do something or are you starting this business because you're pushing to do something? And so with the folks who do denounce
00:07:32
Speaker
there is a distinct possibility that there is either some sort of push or some sort of pull. And again, it's not necessarily for us to judge, it's not for us to determine, but it's just for us to understand. But the second consideration is what I really, really wanna get into with you. And that second consideration is
00:08:00
Speaker
The fact that we are left, those of us who are in the divine nine with our organizations. Now you may say to yourself, yes, so what Eddie? I mean, I'm fine. What I'm saying is this, you know, when, when, whenever you have people who make an announcement that says I'm stepping away because you people are wrong and you people are evil.
00:08:29
Speaker
I mean, that's a burn that that's a real burn. You can't deny that, right? As a matter of fact,
Emotional Impact of Public Denouncements
00:08:36
Speaker
I wouldn't be surprised if there are people who have absolutely nothing to do with whatever was going on with the person making their denouncement. I wouldn't be surprised if there are people experiencing some feelings of guilt or shame.
00:08:54
Speaker
Of course, if you didn't know this, I have another podcast called For Our Edification. Episode 12, I had a great conversation with a couple of mental health counselors, Leslie Brown, who's a member of Zeta Phi Beta, and Von Eaglin, who is my fraternity brother Alpha Phi Alpha. And Von says something in that episode that I will always remember. We were talking about what gets into the minds of people who decide to commit acts of hazing. And one of the things that Von pointed out is that
00:09:23
Speaker
Sometimes when people decide to do this is because they are, they are feeling some guilt or shame, right? They don't want to feel like an outcast from their frat brothers or their sororors. He says, you know, guilt says, I'm sorry for what I did. Shame says, I'm sorry for who I am. Whenever people decide to paint one big brush or one big broad stroke over
00:09:48
Speaker
the divine night and talk about how terrible we are and, and you know, the bad things that we do. I always like to bring up the people who are doing what they are supposed to do. The thing is for those of us who are in the divine night, I think the thing for us is to continue to look ahead and I know you don't need me telling you this, but I'm going to anyway.
00:10:16
Speaker
It is about us looking ahead and continuing to do the right thing, but then also asking ourselves some questions because there are some things that we can control.
Chapter Culture and Member Engagement
00:10:28
Speaker
A series of questions. One question is this. What role do you play in the type of culture that you create?
00:10:37
Speaker
in your chapter. So your culture, your beliefs, your social habits, your symbolism in the chapter, all of that good stuff, the things that you have in common with one another, the language that you speak to one another. How does the culture of your chapter welcome people? And how does the culture of your chapter send people off, even when things are negative? I say this when, you know, one of the things that I talk about
00:11:06
Speaker
in my daily life is this thing called employer branding, right? And a big part of that is, is taking a look out at the kinds of experiences that employees have with their businesses. And one of the things that I tell folks all the time is that even if someone gets laid off or gets fired from your company, at least
00:11:27
Speaker
at least try to send them off thinking to themselves, you know what? It didn't work out, but if I had a chance to work with this company again, I would work from again all over and I would do better. Another question.
Engaging Passive Members
00:11:43
Speaker
How do you engage members who seem alienated or passive? Let me park right there really quickly.
00:11:54
Speaker
I talk about followership in my presentations, Followership to Leadership and the Black Greek Success Program. And the reason I talk about it is you don't need a title to be a leader. And followership is a great path to leadership. So here's what followership is. Followership is the way you as a member of your chapter, for example, interact with the leaders of your chapter.
00:12:21
Speaker
And the way you interact often determines how effective the leadership is, right? And so when we take a look at
00:12:31
Speaker
Followership, there is this model that suggests there are five types of followers. One type of follower is exemplary. This person is high in critical thinking and also high in involvement. Another type is the conformist who is high in engagement, not so high in critical thinking. You have a pragmatist who is a little bit of everything when it comes to followers, but these other two are the ones I want you to think about.
00:12:59
Speaker
And one type is the passive follower. The passive follower is someone who is not high in critical thinking and not high in involvement, low on both ends. And why that is, you might have to find out because since they're not involved and since they're not necessarily thinking about everything that's happening,
00:13:19
Speaker
These are the people probably sitting in the back of the room of the chapel meeting and they just, you know, they're just there. They're like a bump on a pickle. They're not really doing anything, but nobody's asking them anything either.
Assumptions and Disengagement
00:13:29
Speaker
Nobody's engaging them. The other type of follower is the alienated follower. And this is probably of those two a bit more dangerous because this person is low on involvement, but very high or I should say high in critical thinking.
00:13:44
Speaker
This is your peanut gallery, most likely. These are the people who don't necessarily like to get involved with stuff. They have a pretty cynical attitude about committee work. They have a cynical attitude about being involved, but they are forever in the back of the room making smart cracks about any and every thing going on. They just cannot stop with the jokes. And of course, there are all kinds of sounds coming from the back, all kinds of size, all kinds of everything coming from these folks.
00:14:08
Speaker
And that's because they feel pushed away for whatever reason. It could be something that the chapter did. It could be something that a leader did. It could be something that they are reacting to that didn't necessarily happen to them, but something pushed them away. And so the question to ask yourself is that when you see people in your chapter falling back, they are being passive or alienated.
00:14:35
Speaker
What are you doing to engage them, if anything at all? Also, as long as we're talking about it, how do your assumptions impact others? You know, I heard the story of somebody who was not necessarily engaged in what was going on in their chapter, but
00:14:54
Speaker
They were doing fine with school. They were doing fine with everything else. I mean, people looked at them on social media and everything seemed to be fine. And that became the commentary. The commentary became, are they on social media? They look happy. It looks like they're having a good time. Everything's fine. I don't know why they're not hanging out with us.
00:15:11
Speaker
Well, you're not asking them either. You're assuming that everything is fine. Now, everything may be fine in their personal lives. Everything may be fine with school, but it's not fine with the chapter. And that's the thing you've got to get to the bottom of. Don't assume that just because everything looks fine, everything is fine. So how do your assumptions impact others? Another question, how do you make folks feel when they make mistakes?
Mistakes and Harshness in Greek Life
00:15:37
Speaker
Woo boy, this is a big one for me. I make a lot of mistakes, man.
00:15:41
Speaker
You know what I just found out? I'm 57 years old. I just found out I got ADHD. All these damn years I had no idea why I have been all over the place. No, I got ADHD. I'll be doggone. So I've made a lot of mistakes. I've made a lot of mistakes in college. I made a lot of mistakes in my career, right?
00:16:00
Speaker
One of the things that I have hated about making mistakes is how people a lot of times have made me feel about making mistakes. I've had people who've made me feel like a straight up idiot for making mistakes. I've had people ask me, why do you make so many mistakes? I don't know the answer to that. I have no idea. Right. And in Greek life, especially in the divine nine, we can be so freaking unforgiving.
00:16:26
Speaker
we see people make mistakes and we make them feel like hot garbage. And then we start wondering why they are alienated or passive. So I need to, I need to, I need to wrap this up because, um, there are some suggestions I got here. You know, I had some suggestions. Um, but these are suggestions.
00:16:44
Speaker
to really make you a better leader tomorrow than you are today, not saying that you are bad right now. You could be great right now. Let's talk about excellent tomorrow. You could be excellent today. Let's talk about super excellent tomorrow.
Understanding Prospects and Chapter Fit
00:16:59
Speaker
And here is what I got for you. First things first, and this is very practical. When you are looking at people who want to be members of your fraternity or sorority,
00:17:13
Speaker
Please get to know your prospects and get to know them well. I promise you that the more you learn, the more you will understand how they will fit into the chapter and whether or not they're good fit for the chapter. Also, play above the fray.
00:17:37
Speaker
You don't need to spend too much time on petty lane. Look, you know, if you spend a cup, if you spend a couple of hours on petty lane, that's fine, but you can't live on petty lane and then be resilient. And the reason that I say resilience is something that matters is when people are taking a look at you and they see that you were able to bounce back from any and everything,
00:18:01
Speaker
then that sends a positive signal to them and it gives them more confidence in you. And if they have confidence in you, they have confidence in the direction that you can take your chapter.
Leadership Qualities: Self-awareness and Communication
00:18:13
Speaker
Okay. Here's the last thing. The last point I will make as far as developing yourself as a great leader, developing the people in your chapter as great leaders is be self aware, mind your language, mind the way you communicate with people, have a positive mental attitude,
00:18:30
Speaker
And I say this all the time. I say that having a positive mental attitude is a team sport, right? Success is a team sport. There are going to be times that you're going to be down. Will your frat or your sorrow be there to be positive when you're feeling negative? Because people have got to take over, right? If there's anything that we're learning with these denouncements is that you cannot control other people's decisions. However,
00:18:59
Speaker
You can control the way you react. Listen, a lot of our mothers told us, my mama never told me this. I'm not going to lie. But a lot of us have a lot of our moms have told us, if you don't have anything nice and say, don't say anything at all.
00:19:14
Speaker
It is worth practicing. I do my level best to practice that as much as possible, and I've gotten so much better with it with age.
Conclusion and Call for Engagement
00:19:22
Speaker
So if you have any thoughts about anything that I've talked about, I would love to hear it. And if you have thoughts that you want me to read on the next episode of Ethocast,
00:19:33
Speaker
that you make sure you shoot me those thoughts at eddiefrances.com. Make sure you like this and make sure you share it with folks and make sure you do send me your comments because I would absolutely love to hear them. Thank you so much for hanging out with me on this episode, episode gamma of Ethocast.
00:19:53
Speaker
Ethocast is a 4-hour edification limited series. If you like what you heard, like and follow this podcast for more leadership insights for your fraternity or sorority chapter. To find out how you can bring followership to leadership or the Black Creek Success Program to your campus or a campus near you, email today, eddy at eddyfrances.com. Until next time, spread brotherly and sisterly love wherever you go.