Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
"🔥 Setting Up For Success at Burning Man" #64
8 Plays1 year ago
We talked about:
🔥Overcoming social anxiety on Playa,
🔥How to RECEIVE gifts,
🔥How to give good gifts,
🔥Dealing with Drama & Camp Dynamics,
🔥Burning Man Affirmations
+ lots of pre-Burn excitement!
Find on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!
Gifting ideas, tips for socializing, and some amazing Burning Man Affirmations.
LINKS
http://Instagram.com/BurnerPrep
Relationship Tips for Black Rock City: https://youtu.be/ycU0qGCsd4s?si=26iymnRCngsVG_JL
HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://LifeStudent.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Burning Man Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
On today's episode, we talk about setting yourself up for success at Burning Man.
00:00:05
Speaker
We get to share some of our favorite tips and tricks for making the most out of your experience and of course some Burning Man affirmations.
00:00:14
Speaker
We talked about how to make your social lubrication easier and how to make your gifts more profound.
00:00:23
Speaker
Enjoy the episode.
00:00:25
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:27
Speaker
We are here to share inspiration with you, which hopefully makes ripples of positivity out in the world.
00:00:34
Speaker
I'm Betsy Finkelhoo, a mindfulness teacher, somatic body worker, the creator of the Power Affirmation Journal, and also an eight-year burner.
00:00:43
Speaker
I am John Halcyon.
Experience and Community at Burning Man
00:00:45
Speaker
I am a gratitude evangelist and coach.
00:00:49
Speaker
I am a 26-year burner and co-founder of Backcountry and Pinkheart Camps and the burner prep Instagram account if you're trying to get tips last minute.
00:01:02
Speaker
Amazing.
00:01:03
Speaker
Well, I love that you are so passionate about Burning Man because so am I. And right now it is two weeks away.
00:01:10
Speaker
We are here.
00:01:12
Speaker
We are in the countdown.
00:01:14
Speaker
I'm not actually going this year, but John Halcyon is.
00:01:18
Speaker
to add to that, that 26 years.
00:01:22
Speaker
And so before we dive into our conversation about Burning Man and making the most out of your prep and your experience, I would love to start with some gratitude.
00:01:33
Speaker
So what are you grateful for today?
00:01:36
Speaker
In this moment, I am feeling gratitude for my Pink Heart campmates because I stepped away from the camp and I'm doing a short trip, not camping.
00:01:48
Speaker
I'm camping with Burn of the Top Borders.
00:01:49
Speaker
And I'm just so grateful for the way the camp has supported me and encouraged me to take a break.
00:01:57
Speaker
And so I feel like I didn't leave a family.
00:02:00
Speaker
I'm just on vacation from my family.
00:02:01
Speaker
And it's just, I feel really supported.
00:02:03
Speaker
So grateful.
00:02:04
Speaker
I love that so much.
00:02:07
Speaker
Well, I will share my gratitude for all my festi coucherement, my festival gear.
00:02:15
Speaker
Right now, if you guys are watching the video, you'll see that I'm wearing my fun holsters and my colorful flower.
00:02:23
Speaker
And I just love how Burning Man has really inspired me to be a collector of
00:02:28
Speaker
colorful costumey pieces over the years.
00:02:31
Speaker
And even though I'm not going this year, I still get to wear all this fun stuff that Burning Man has inspired in me.
00:02:37
Speaker
So really grateful for the sparkles of color and creativity in my closet.
00:02:44
Speaker
Amen.
00:02:47
Speaker
My pre-Burning Man closet compared to my closet today is quite a different experience.
00:02:54
Speaker
It is, yes.
00:02:56
Speaker
Well, it definitely sparks a lot of creative possibilities for what we can wear.
00:03:01
Speaker
And we actually have an episode from one of our earlier Stay Sparked where we talked about creativity and expression and Burning Man was a very big part of that.
00:03:11
Speaker
But today we wanted to have a conversation that is really about how do you really set yourself up for success for an incredible Burning Man experience and
00:03:21
Speaker
Whether it's your first time, whether it's your 27th time, maybe even for those of you that aren't even going, this might inspire you to have the best time at
Gifting Culture and Personal Care
00:03:33
Speaker
life.
00:03:33
Speaker
Because Burning Man really does give us an opportunity to practice doing life in a good way.
00:03:41
Speaker
And so a lot of the principles have taught me so much about organization and about community, about creativity, about health and vitality even.
00:03:52
Speaker
And so we're going to use Burning Man as the inspiration to share this conversation.
00:03:57
Speaker
And so if you would like to start us off, I'm curious genuinely about what you mentioned, the Burner Prep
00:04:05
Speaker
Instagram profile.
00:04:08
Speaker
This is pretty awesome.
00:04:10
Speaker
Love to maybe just start us off there.
00:04:12
Speaker
What's that all about?
00:04:12
Speaker
What are you posting about?
00:04:14
Speaker
What are people, you know, really interested in learning from you as a veteran?
00:04:18
Speaker
Well, yeah, when I, I was one of the first people to make any videos about Burning Man, you know, the
00:04:26
Speaker
something years ago.
00:04:27
Speaker
And so over the last 20 plus years, I've been making acculturation videos to explain the 10 principles, to explain some of the things in our culture, because I've always kind of felt that you can't explain Burning Man to people, you know, there's no way.
00:04:41
Speaker
But the more you understand how it works, the more quickly you become integrated and you become an active participant.
00:04:48
Speaker
It's kind of like you can't
00:04:50
Speaker
You can't explain someone the Grand Canyon.
00:04:53
Speaker
There's no way.
00:04:54
Speaker
No matter how many books that you look at, when you get there, it knocks you down.
00:04:58
Speaker
But if before you go, you learned a little bit about the geology, where the good hikes are, and what the flora and fauna is, then when you're there, it'll be a way cooler experience.
00:05:08
Speaker
And I think that preparing for Burning Man is kind of the same way.
00:05:11
Speaker
You can't be prepared.
00:05:13
Speaker
And yet, preparation really helps you to appreciate it more.
00:05:17
Speaker
So Burner Prep is really taking the clips from the 20 plus years of acculturation videos that I've made and editing them in a way that the attention starved kids today might watch a minute talking about something rather than me ramble for 20 minutes about gifting.
00:05:38
Speaker
Smart.
00:05:39
Speaker
That's smart.
00:05:39
Speaker
Yeah, I love that little bite-sized reminders.
00:05:43
Speaker
Well, that's awesome because I have so much inspiration in this conversation too.
00:05:50
Speaker
You know, before we started recording, to give you guys a little insight, Halcyon and I, we were just like sparking, sparking, sparking, sparking.
00:05:58
Speaker
Oh my God, we could talk about this and this and this and this and this.
00:06:00
Speaker
And so I wrote down a lot of different
00:06:03
Speaker
pillars that we want to touch on today.
00:06:05
Speaker
And you just spoke to one, which is one of the 10 principles of Burning Man, which is gifting.
00:06:10
Speaker
It's a gifting economy.
00:06:12
Speaker
And so I'd love to explore that part of the conversation because I learned so much about gifting through Burning Man.
00:06:21
Speaker
And one of the little nuggets that I want to share with y'all is I've learned about giving gifts that really last and
00:06:32
Speaker
beyond the physical form.
00:06:34
Speaker
So what is that gift that you can give someone?
00:06:37
Speaker
Or what was that gift that I could give someone that's going to make a positive difference in their life in that moment that they can take home with them, whether that's metaphorically as something that they can really be with or energetically or physically even.
00:06:54
Speaker
And so one of my favorite gifts over the years has been, I carry a little kit.
00:07:00
Speaker
I made this special little kit and inside of it is a little hand treatment.
00:07:07
Speaker
And so when you're out there, you know, the dust is quite alkaline and, you know, you'd be talking to someone and some people take good care of their hands and some people just don't.
00:07:16
Speaker
You can tell when someone's been up for hours and,
00:07:20
Speaker
You're talking to them and you look at their hands and you're like, oh, dang, they're just covered in dust and cuticles are looking quite dry.
00:07:25
Speaker
And those are the people that I love to pull out that little kit and say, hey, I'd love to gift you a little hand treatment.
00:07:32
Speaker
And it has been so beautiful.
00:07:33
Speaker
It's such a wonderful way to connect with people and share the simple thing.
00:07:37
Speaker
And inside of it is just a few simple ingredients.
00:07:41
Speaker
One is a little spray bottle that has water and tea tree, which cleans.
00:07:47
Speaker
and then a little bit of rose water, which hydrates the skin and then kind of gets into the cuticles.
00:07:54
Speaker
And then I put a little like shea butter or some kind of salve and just rub it onto their cuticles and then give them a little hand squeeze.
00:08:04
Speaker
And sometimes I might put a little bit of aloe in there too, just a small thing of aloe because, you know, it's a lot of sun and people are getting burned and that sort of thing.
00:08:14
Speaker
So
00:08:15
Speaker
Little hand treatment kit has been my favorite way to gift people out on the playa.
00:08:20
Speaker
I love that.
00:08:21
Speaker
I actually wear gloves always.
00:08:26
Speaker
If I'm not sleeping, showering, or being intimate with a partner, I am wearing gloves.
00:08:31
Speaker
I buy these band gloves and I just put a new pair on every day.
00:08:34
Speaker
If you're watching the video, you can see me showing off my color guard hands right now.
00:08:38
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:08:39
Speaker
You know, I did that one year, but it was by accident because I was on the build and I cut my finger really bad.
00:08:47
Speaker
And I was really grateful that I had these really nice form-fitting gloves that I had found at a thrift store that are kind of like what you're wearing now, but that's a band glove.
00:08:56
Speaker
Like if you are in a like marching band,
00:08:59
Speaker
Marching band or like a funeral procession or something like that.
00:09:03
Speaker
Those are great.
00:09:04
Speaker
Instead of like work gloves, because those are a little bulky.
00:09:10
Speaker
You don't need it too thick.
00:09:11
Speaker
Exactly.
00:09:12
Speaker
It's so hot.
00:09:13
Speaker
Marching band gloves.
00:09:15
Speaker
Yep.
00:09:15
Speaker
Keeps your hands protected.
00:09:16
Speaker
And especially if you get a cut, because that was like, that was what my Satan grace was.
00:09:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:23
Speaker
Some people, the dust doesn't bother them much and they just need to, you know, give a treatment of vinegar or witch hazel every once in a while.
00:09:32
Speaker
I am someone where the dust caused me significant discomfort.
00:09:37
Speaker
It's like fingers on a chalkboard to me.
00:09:42
Speaker
the dryness on my fingertips.
00:09:43
Speaker
So it really helps me to have gloves on anytime I'm outside.
00:09:47
Speaker
But I wanted to just dig into gifting a little bit because we could do a gifting six-part series because gifting changed my life.
00:09:56
Speaker
Gifting is the principle that
00:09:58
Speaker
by far has impacted my life more than anything else in my life.
00:10:02
Speaker
My TEDx talk years ago, it's called Gratitude, Gifting, and Grandpa.
00:10:07
Speaker
Because gifting is revolutionary.
00:10:12
Speaker
If you
00:10:13
Speaker
Go to Burning Man.
00:10:14
Speaker
Many people, they could come to it thinking that it's about barter, you know, which is a transactional interaction.
00:10:20
Speaker
It is saying that the ledger, I give you something worth one, you give me something worth one.
00:10:26
Speaker
And if we trade, then the ledger is equal.
00:10:29
Speaker
That's how our most of our lives are.
00:10:31
Speaker
We live in a transactional based world.
00:10:33
Speaker
So gifting is not that.
00:10:35
Speaker
And so until you are doing it, you don't quite recognize what it means.
00:10:39
Speaker
It means that without any expectation of return, I'm going to give you something.
00:10:43
Speaker
And then if you if it makes you happy, that's a plus one to you.
00:10:47
Speaker
If I see you happy, that's going to make plus one to me.
00:10:51
Speaker
And that revolutionized my whole world.
00:10:54
Speaker
Like, oh, wait a minute.
00:10:55
Speaker
I mean, I can make myself happier by making other people happier.
00:11:00
Speaker
And that, I think, is the part of gifting that needs to be really kind of chewed on instead of going straight to, what gift should I bring?
00:11:07
Speaker
What gift should I bring?
00:11:08
Speaker
You know, like, should I bring bracelets to give to people?
00:11:10
Speaker
Should I bring?
00:11:11
Speaker
It's like, okay, well, first, first, let's think, what is gifting?
00:11:15
Speaker
Gifting is starting to look at the world as opportunities to make a day, a moment, a life better.
00:11:23
Speaker
How can I, where can I find a way to make this person's day better?
00:11:27
Speaker
Sometimes that is giving them a necklace or a bracelet.
00:11:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:30
Speaker
Often it is something like giving them a hand rub, but it's the mentality that allows you can show up with nothing and go, ooh, I have extra toilet paper and they ran out in this port-a-potty.
00:11:42
Speaker
I'm going to go put some teepee in there or I'm going to stand out front and offer teepee to people.
00:11:46
Speaker
I'm going to hold the door open.
00:11:48
Speaker
I'm going to, you know, somebody just offered me food.
00:11:51
Speaker
I'm going to say, hey, do you guys have dishes covered?
00:11:53
Speaker
Because, you know, this is a way I can gift.
00:11:56
Speaker
And that shift of like, how can I...
00:11:59
Speaker
Fill in cracks in the world is what can transform your Burning Man experience and transform your life.
00:12:06
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:12:07
Speaker
And that's a major, major piece around life.
00:12:12
Speaker
And how do we show up to life?
00:12:14
Speaker
Are we taking?
00:12:15
Speaker
Are we contributing?
00:12:17
Speaker
And I feel like this phrase that really fuels a lot of my, my day is how can I serve the moment?
00:12:25
Speaker
My friend Andrew Saloni speaks a lot about this.
00:12:27
Speaker
How can I just keep serving the moment?
00:12:30
Speaker
How can I contribute to this already beautiful moment?
00:12:33
Speaker
And I love what you said around where is there a crack?
00:12:36
Speaker
that I might be able to fill with some gold?
00:12:39
Speaker
Is that helping somebody put up their tent?
00:12:41
Speaker
Is it riding by somebody who is looking a little lost and checking in with them?
00:12:48
Speaker
Is there little ways that we might be able to bring some light into
00:12:51
Speaker
into a hard situation.
00:12:53
Speaker
Is there a way that I'm willing to let go of, you know, some tension within myself and just soften?
00:13:01
Speaker
You know, how can I show up in the best way to contribute to the whole?
00:13:05
Speaker
And I think that that is huge when we are
00:13:08
Speaker
willing to see service as a gift too.
00:13:11
Speaker
You know, it's like, okay, how can I actually share?
00:13:15
Speaker
This is the thing I always say, you guys probably heard me say it a million times, and I'll keep saying it.
00:13:19
Speaker
How can I keep showing up in the best way, sharing my unique gifts with the world in a way that is going to make a positive difference, right?
00:13:27
Speaker
And so always letting that guide my direction, it brings so much magic.
00:13:33
Speaker
And then naturally, all of a sudden, these gifts start coming to me.
00:13:38
Speaker
I actually was watching firsthand.
00:13:39
Speaker
It's like Burning Man is an accelerator.
00:13:42
Speaker
It's like this condensed experience of magic, right?
00:13:46
Speaker
It's like you give something and then it almost instantly comes back.
00:13:50
Speaker
But it's just like a quick feedback loop.
00:13:55
Speaker
Quick story.
00:13:56
Speaker
One time I gifted something.
00:13:58
Speaker
Oh, no, someone gifted me something.
00:14:00
Speaker
It was a bracelet.
00:14:01
Speaker
It was a pink and orange bracelet.
00:14:02
Speaker
So I was on this art car and I was the only one wearing black and white.
00:14:06
Speaker
It was a pink and orange theme on disorient orange party and I didn't have anything.
00:14:11
Speaker
So this guy gave me this pink and orange bracelet to help me feel included.
00:14:16
Speaker
And that was like my second burn.
00:14:18
Speaker
And I remember thinking, oh, well, he gave me something.
00:14:20
Speaker
I should give him something back.
00:14:22
Speaker
This mentality, right?
00:14:23
Speaker
Well, someone gives you something when you're obliged to give it back to that person, transaction.
00:14:29
Speaker
And so I was like, I looked down on my wrist and I had this black and white bracelet that I made.
00:14:34
Speaker
And I was waiting for the moment for the guy to come back, and I was going to give it to him, and I was all ready.
00:14:38
Speaker
And then all of a sudden, he starts walking towards me, and then right as I go to give it to him, he turns around, walks the other way, and this other guy was sitting there who was like, I didn't see him before, but he was wearing black and white.
00:14:51
Speaker
He was sitting by himself.
00:14:52
Speaker
He looked a little lonely.
00:14:54
Speaker
And the step I was taking towards this other guy led me to this other person.
00:15:00
Speaker
And I said, hey, brother, I was like, I have a gift for you.
00:15:03
Speaker
And I put this on his brace on his arm and he looked at me like, oh my God, this is amazing.
00:15:09
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:15:10
Speaker
And he lit up and he felt so included.
00:15:12
Speaker
So it was more so about passing it on, really being in that stream of generosity and allowing it to flow.
00:15:19
Speaker
Not feeling that obligation to have to give back to that same person, but just continue to be in that generous expression of our authentic creativity and then watch where it guides us.
00:15:33
Speaker
That is a really significant and challenging thing for people to practice and learn, which is letting go of the obligation to reciprocate.
00:15:42
Speaker
Because you end up robbing the other person of that joy, you know, because when you gave that person their bracelet and they lit up, you were lit up.
00:15:55
Speaker
It made you feel amazing.
00:15:56
Speaker
If they started fumbling around and said, oh, what do I have to give to you?
00:16:01
Speaker
You would not receive that joy.
00:16:02
Speaker
They would have broken this magical loop of gifting that happens by letting me, just receive and let me experience the joy that it gives you.
00:16:11
Speaker
Yes.
00:16:11
Speaker
And that is, it will blow your mind.
00:16:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:15
Speaker
You tell yourself to do that.
00:16:16
Speaker
Well, and for those of you out on the playa and out in the world too, it's a good reminder to practice receiving.
00:16:23
Speaker
Practice just receive.
00:16:25
Speaker
When someone offers you a hand instead of being like, no, no, no, I got it.
00:16:29
Speaker
I got it.
00:16:29
Speaker
I can carry these three big bins by myself.
00:16:32
Speaker
You know, no, no, like someone's offering, they want to help.
00:16:35
Speaker
Say yes.
00:16:35
Speaker
Right.
00:16:37
Speaker
If someone offers you a compliment, don't direct redirect it and be like, oh, yeah, well, I don't know.
00:16:44
Speaker
But you this whole thing.
00:16:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:46
Speaker
It's like, oh, thank you.
00:16:48
Speaker
Thank you.
00:16:49
Speaker
Thank you for seeing me.
00:16:50
Speaker
Thank you for showing up.
00:16:51
Speaker
Thank you.
00:16:51
Speaker
You know, because the more that we open ourselves to receive, then this like funnel starts to open.
00:16:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:00
Speaker
You mentioned a minute ago about service and, you know, the idea of let me be of service in the world.
Social Interactions and Connection Tips
00:17:07
Speaker
Let me share my gifts.
00:17:08
Speaker
And I think that.
00:17:09
Speaker
Before I discovered Burning Man, I thought I understood that idea of service, of doing charity.
00:17:17
Speaker
But I thought that that was a type of sacrifice.
00:17:21
Speaker
You do it because you should.
00:17:23
Speaker
I have so much blessings.
00:17:24
Speaker
I should do good.
00:17:25
Speaker
I'm abundant, therefore I should give.
00:17:29
Speaker
But until you start practicing it, you don't really realize that that's not a sacrifice.
00:17:35
Speaker
It is a selfish sacrifice.
00:17:39
Speaker
self-centered attraction of good.
00:17:41
Speaker
Like, Oh yeah.
00:17:42
Speaker
Like it makes you feel good to do it.
00:17:44
Speaker
So you don't, it is not giving up anything to be a service.
00:17:47
Speaker
It is actually an empowering and joy giving a service is joy when you actually start practicing it.
00:17:55
Speaker
Oh, boy.
00:17:56
Speaker
It's so true.
00:17:57
Speaker
Beautifully said.
00:18:00
Speaker
I'd love to pivot into one of the other things that has really inspired me about Burning Man and Spark, some of our listeners, and hear what you have to say about this to Halcyon.
00:18:10
Speaker
is this concept of social lubrication and icebreakers and living with thousands and thousands and thousands of people.
00:18:22
Speaker
Most of these camps are anywhere between five to hundreds of people.
00:18:26
Speaker
We're in communal living.
00:18:28
Speaker
We're in close quarters with people.
00:18:30
Speaker
In our day-to-day lives, we have our own little houses that we go to.
00:18:35
Speaker
We're not so face-to-face all the time.
00:18:38
Speaker
And so I'd love to explore this conversation around how do you have success at Burning Man and beyond with finding ways to create healthy conversations, inspiring, playful conversations where the magic really resides.
00:18:56
Speaker
So I'll start us off because I have a couple.
00:18:59
Speaker
Okay, okay.
00:19:01
Speaker
So one of my favorite things about engaging at Burning Man is that there is sort of a thin veil between people.
00:19:12
Speaker
There is this understanding between people that we all made a pilgrimage journey.
00:19:19
Speaker
to get here.
00:19:20
Speaker
And so we have this common understanding with each other.
00:19:24
Speaker
And so there's less of that kind of, oh, I have to introduce myself and break the ice.
00:19:31
Speaker
Like, you know, at the grocery store, you stand behind someone in line and you might have a couple words, which is kind of awkward.
00:19:36
Speaker
You know, there's a little bit thicker of a barrier.
00:19:38
Speaker
At Burning Man, it's a lot less.
00:19:40
Speaker
And so what I have really played with and found at Burning Man that has really been
00:19:45
Speaker
So fun is finding ways to just drop right in with people.
00:19:50
Speaker
And one of the ways that I love to do that is with jokes, you know, getting to check in with someone if they have a joke or just like randomly spontaneously sharing jokes with people.
00:20:04
Speaker
I also love being able to talk to the artists, the artists that are maybe they're working on their big art piece there, or maybe it's someone that's building a camp or there's obviously someone doing some kind of art.
00:20:16
Speaker
It's like engaging with the artists and asking them about their process and getting to inquire with people around work.
00:20:24
Speaker
where they got their inspiration from, asking questions to really understand people.
00:20:32
Speaker
And I think it's just such an important part of our humanity is connection.
00:20:38
Speaker
And Burning Man really provides an opportunity to practice.
00:20:43
Speaker
being engaged with people.
00:20:46
Speaker
And so you're so good at that, Halcyon.
00:20:48
Speaker
I mean, you're so approachable and so playful.
00:20:51
Speaker
And so I'd love to hear any social lubrication tips and tricks and ways to just bridge the gap between people.
00:20:58
Speaker
You nailed, I think, one of the significant things, which is recognizing that this context is set up
00:21:06
Speaker
with the intention of us witnessing one another like we are all showing up as art to be part of this experience you know this is not we're not going to a concert to to look at artists we're not consumers we are all participants and so by going you are acknowledging i am part of burning man and everyone is part of burning man and participation is one of the ten principles so
00:21:31
Speaker
Engaging in someone is not a violation of any social construct.
00:21:36
Speaker
You're not bugging someone by saying, oh my gosh, tell me about those pants.
00:21:41
Speaker
Of course, that's the appropriate way that we interact there.
00:21:44
Speaker
And so letting yourself accept that there's a difference here.
00:21:50
Speaker
So approaching anyone is acceptable.
00:21:53
Speaker
Part of that is also because of the gifting.
00:21:56
Speaker
Because in the default world, someone walks up to you
00:21:59
Speaker
a stranger, there's a good chance that they want something from you.
00:22:02
Speaker
They want you to sign something.
00:22:04
Speaker
They want to sleep with you.
00:22:06
Speaker
They want money from you.
00:22:07
Speaker
But at Burning Man, if someone wants to live to you, they either want to give you something or they think you're interesting.
00:22:13
Speaker
And so when you start to start practicing that, there's this, it really, you're allowed to let go of some of the
00:22:20
Speaker
anxieties that you might have.
00:22:21
Speaker
I won't say you're allowed to.
00:22:23
Speaker
I will encourage you to practice and remind yourself that everyone around you wants to know you better.
00:22:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:32
Speaker
And it takes courage, I think, to actually go up to people as well.
00:22:37
Speaker
Because I've also had the experience of feeling really isolated in a big crowd of people and really insecure and scared and not sure how to engage.
00:22:46
Speaker
And so when we have that inner dialogue that saying, oh my God, I feel so alone or I feel so separate or...
00:22:53
Speaker
the story that I had played before is that like, well, everyone knows each other, but I don't know anyone here.
00:22:59
Speaker
And I don't know where to put myself.
00:23:01
Speaker
And I feel displaced and I feel awkward inside myself.
00:23:04
Speaker
Those are, you know, going to perpetuate the story and the experience, then it gets amplified.
00:23:09
Speaker
But when we can get out of our own way and break the ice with someone and just follow that moment where it's like, you know what?
00:23:16
Speaker
I actually want to make some friends.
00:23:18
Speaker
I want my need right now is for connection, not isolation.
00:23:22
Speaker
And if I'm noticing I'm playing out a poor me story, then it's important for me to take some deep breaths and go find someone to check in with and just like follow like, okay, I can be courageous and just go up to someone and say, hey, where'd you come from?
00:23:39
Speaker
I'm like, wow, you look magical.
00:23:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:42
Speaker
You know, or like find some way to go to an art piece and see where there's maybe some people hanging out and chatting, maybe engaging in conversation.
00:23:50
Speaker
It's safe to do that.
00:23:51
Speaker
I know one of my favorite things actually was like going up to a group of people.
00:23:58
Speaker
I've done this multiple times when I was kind of traveling around on the playa by myself and seeing these little clicks and these little gatherings of people and then just going up and being like, hi.
00:24:08
Speaker
Hi.
00:24:10
Speaker
and feeling i'd say 98 of the time like oh hi hey what's up chat chat chat maybe i ride my bike around with them for a little while make some friends maybe five minutes maybe three hours you know and then it's like okay bye yeah and then i'm off and so many times out there
00:24:32
Speaker
I have met and connected with people on very deep levels and then have never, ever seen them again.
00:24:38
Speaker
There's this really cool feeling of non-attachment.
00:24:42
Speaker
And then there's other times where you have this really deep connection and it's like, oh, I'm definitely getting your number.
00:24:46
Speaker
So I guess that's another packing tip too.
00:24:49
Speaker
If you want to stay connected with people, then make sure you get people's phone numbers or Instagrams or whatever it might be right away because you might never see them again.
00:24:58
Speaker
Right.
00:24:59
Speaker
If you have a little notepad, have them write their number down.
00:25:02
Speaker
Always really helpful.
00:25:03
Speaker
Keep your device away.
00:25:04
Speaker
Of course, like having the notepad is great because then you can have like little scribbles on it.
00:25:09
Speaker
I generally bring, I get little business cards made up that have my contact information.
00:25:16
Speaker
That's not a business card.
00:25:17
Speaker
It's not commercial because you don't want to be promoting your business when you're out there, but just some contact information and how we can stay in touch.
00:25:24
Speaker
We're like, if you take pictures of someone, you go, oh, I took your picture.
00:25:27
Speaker
If you want it, email me or message me in this way and I'll get it to you.
00:25:32
Speaker
I think the easiest connection trick tip is compliments.
00:25:38
Speaker
Complimenting is so acceptable and part of the culture.
00:25:42
Speaker
And so there's two ways.
00:25:43
Speaker
One, you invite compliments by wearing or doing or being something that is unique, like top of the list, dye your hair pink.
00:25:52
Speaker
That's what I would suggest.
00:25:53
Speaker
But anything, really.
00:25:56
Speaker
Just put on something.
00:25:58
Speaker
Be fun so that when people ask you, oh, I love that, it starts the conversation.
00:26:03
Speaker
And then be that person.
00:26:04
Speaker
As you walk up to them and go, oh,
00:26:06
Speaker
Whoa, I love those pants.
00:26:08
Speaker
Oh, great sunglasses.
00:26:11
Speaker
Oh.
00:26:11
Speaker
In fact, when we do the pink ride, which is the event I do every Thursday at noon, we do a parade and we say, I love you or compliment everyone we pass.
00:26:19
Speaker
So like 100 people are just saying it.
00:26:21
Speaker
So people just get flooded with all these compliments.
00:26:23
Speaker
It's just, it's awesome.
00:26:24
Speaker
But you can be doing that constantly, just being like, oh, I love that.
00:26:27
Speaker
I love that.
00:26:28
Speaker
I love it.
00:26:28
Speaker
Now, one thought on compliments that I do want to share, which is that, um,
00:26:34
Speaker
There are, I think, safer and dangerous ways to give compliments, especially if you are a man and you're complimenting women or it's something that could be interpreted as hitting on someone.
00:26:47
Speaker
Be careful how you do that.
00:26:49
Speaker
You don't want to make someone uncomfortable or be creepy.
00:26:52
Speaker
And if you find yourself, I'm only complimenting people that you consider to be beautiful, then check in with yourself and say, maybe I should be trying to connect with this community more than trying to meet someone to sleep with.
00:27:04
Speaker
And so when you're complimenting, try to compliment something that is about the choices they've made or the decisions they've made or something about the
00:27:14
Speaker
Who they are as a human instead of the way they they look like saying, like, I love your eye makeup is better than you have pretty eyes or those pants are amazing rather than great.
00:27:25
Speaker
But, you know, like they try to give someone credit for the art that they are rather than the gifts that God gave them.
00:27:34
Speaker
Yeah, I love that.
00:27:35
Speaker
So powerful.
00:27:37
Speaker
You know, I think that there is something really beautiful about sharing love and complimenting and spreading light.
00:27:46
Speaker
And also, Burning Man and life will bring stuff up for us.
00:27:53
Speaker
There's so many triggers that can happen.
00:27:55
Speaker
You know, we're living in a camp with, say, 50 people for a week.
00:28:00
Speaker
A lot of these people you might not even know.
00:28:03
Speaker
And there's dynamics.
00:28:04
Speaker
And there is sleep deprivation.
00:28:06
Speaker
And there are things that can really create tension.
00:28:11
Speaker
You know, things might not go the way that you want them to go.
00:28:14
Speaker
Maybe there's somebody in your camp that is just a royal pain in the butt.
00:28:18
Speaker
You know, how do we...
00:28:20
Speaker
navigate social dynamics in close quarters like that, you know, with all of these elements that can contribute to that kind of tension, right?
00:28:30
Speaker
And I think that this has been really helpful for me to learn about grace, taking care of myself.
00:28:40
Speaker
This is a big one, I think, to remind everyone out there, especially those of you that are going for your first time, is to make sure that you're taking care of yourself and
00:28:48
Speaker
So I've learned that if I'm getting triggered by someone or if I'm really frustrated by a way somebody is being, then I get to check in with myself first.
00:29:01
Speaker
Where are certain needs of mine not being met?
00:29:04
Speaker
Whether that is physically, am I hydrated?
00:29:08
Speaker
Because sometimes dehydration can come off in different ways than being thirsty.
00:29:14
Speaker
You know, and we get easily triggered.
00:29:15
Speaker
We start playing stories in our heads.
00:29:17
Speaker
It's like, drink some water and electrolytes.
00:29:20
Speaker
Right?
00:29:20
Speaker
So checking in with physical needs.
00:29:22
Speaker
And then also recognizing how and when to either lean in or take space.
00:29:31
Speaker
You know, because there might be certain relationships that you really kind of have to lean into, even though they're triggering you.
00:29:36
Speaker
And how do you find grace while leaning in?
00:29:39
Speaker
You know, say, for example, you're building a camp with someone and the camp built or lead person is someone that you just really don't respect or that has been mean to you or is being mean to other people.
00:29:51
Speaker
How do you lean in and use nonviolent communication, for example, as
00:29:56
Speaker
and say, hey, excuse me, I just want to let you know that the way that I'm witnessing, the way that you talk to that person is really bringing up some feelings for me.
00:30:05
Speaker
I feel really unsafe or I feel really frustrated or scared or angry or disconnected.
00:30:11
Speaker
Is there a way that we can actually start to bring a little more kindness into the way that we're communicating?
00:30:15
Speaker
Because that would help me want to just keep showing up and support this build, for example.
00:30:21
Speaker
Right.
00:30:21
Speaker
That would be real different than going up to the lead belt and being like, stop being such a jerk.
00:30:26
Speaker
Right.
00:30:27
Speaker
You know, it's like, how do we practice our communication?
00:30:31
Speaker
How do we really lean into places that might be a little uncomfortable and use our tools?
00:30:37
Speaker
And then also know when that moment is to, you know what, I just actually can't be around that person.
00:30:42
Speaker
I'm just going to redirect my attention and I'm going to go find a different place to serve that feels better, that I feel more perceived or supported or just in greater alignment to what I value.
00:30:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah, you can build utopia and human beings will still bring their shit there.
00:31:01
Speaker
So there's like that Adam Sandler travel agency thing.
00:31:06
Speaker
If you are depressed and you go to Italy, you will still be that same person.
00:31:10
Speaker
You will just be depressed in Italy.
00:31:12
Speaker
So it's like if you have tension and you're frustrated, Burning Man is not going to make that go away.
00:31:17
Speaker
It could actually make it.
00:31:19
Speaker
But I think that also the hungry, thirsty, tired, that is the first check-in.
00:31:28
Speaker
In fact, most camps during build and stuff, there is a job called fluffer, which is the person that walks around with cold water and food and makes sure, are you hydrated?
00:31:38
Speaker
Because it's just a known fact that at a certain level of physical needs not getting met, people get testy and the tension starts to crack and it gets uglier than it needs to be.
00:31:49
Speaker
Yeah, and then it turns into a horrible four-week experience.
00:31:52
Speaker
It just ripples out into the duration, and then you leave feeling depleted and frustrated and resentful and all that.
00:31:59
Speaker
And it's like, wait a second.
00:32:01
Speaker
We have a choice to take some action to change that in the moment.
00:32:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:09
Speaker
Another thing to keep in mind is that if you are not enjoying your Burning Man experience, walk 50 feet.
Mindset and Personal Growth at Burning Man
00:32:17
Speaker
There are so many different things happening at all times.
00:32:21
Speaker
And it's easy to get caught in like if you if your camp dynamic is not great, you know, or you feel like you just can't get over this conflict with someone in your camp.
00:32:31
Speaker
Don't hang out much of your camp.
00:32:32
Speaker
There are camps that will adopt you.
00:32:34
Speaker
You know, you probably don't even need to spend days and days and never go back to your camp.
00:32:39
Speaker
You just got to break out of the your the story that like I have to go home right now.
00:32:42
Speaker
You don't have to go home right now.
00:32:44
Speaker
You can do whatever you want.
00:32:46
Speaker
You can go sleep in some dome someplace.
00:32:48
Speaker
You can go wander until you smell food and eat there.
00:32:50
Speaker
You can do whatever you want.
00:32:53
Speaker
And so, like, I'll try to tell this short, but there was a years ago, my camp, we were on 2 o'clock Eve, like the biggest area for a sound camp.
00:33:02
Speaker
We had a massive camp.
00:33:04
Speaker
We had live sod inside this massive stage structure and DJs and waterfalls.
00:33:09
Speaker
And a windstorm got under our tarps, peeled back, bent all the poles, destroyed our camp.
00:33:19
Speaker
The sod dried out and went everywhere.
00:33:21
Speaker
In fact, the reason why you can no longer have organic material on Playa and they will confiscate it is because of us, Zara.
00:33:27
Speaker
We created so much moop.
00:33:29
Speaker
But the day after this massive storm, when we were sitting in the rubble, we were just sitting around crying,
00:33:34
Speaker
And these two women rode up on their bikes and they're all dressed up in beautiful outfits.
00:33:39
Speaker
They're like, hey, do you guys know where Zara is?
00:33:41
Speaker
Where's Zara?
00:33:43
Speaker
And I look at them and I'm like, this, this is Zara.
00:33:47
Speaker
And they just looked at me totally matter of fact, went, okay.
00:33:50
Speaker
And they rode away.
00:33:51
Speaker
And I was like, where are you going?
00:33:53
Speaker
Like, why won't you join us in our suffering?
00:33:56
Speaker
I'm like, oh.
00:33:57
Speaker
Burning Man is still happening.
00:33:59
Speaker
There's awesome joy everywhere.
00:34:02
Speaker
I am choosing to stay in the wreckage.
00:34:04
Speaker
And so I got on my bike and rode around and it turns out there's awesomeness around every corner.
00:34:11
Speaker
Perspective shift.
00:34:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:13
Speaker
Choosing in that moment, how long you want to stay in the suffering.
00:34:18
Speaker
I think I'll actually quote something that you shared on another one of our Stay Sparked episodes around how committed am I to the suffering right now?
00:34:27
Speaker
Or how committed am I to my story, whatever it is.
00:34:31
Speaker
And mindfulness is always something for us to check in about, right?
00:34:36
Speaker
And so at Burning Man, with everything being amplified, I
00:34:39
Speaker
We get to keep checking in.
00:34:41
Speaker
How committed to joy today am I?
00:34:45
Speaker
How committed to feeling frustrated or being righteous or annoyed am I being?
00:34:52
Speaker
And do I have an opportunity to pivot?
00:34:54
Speaker
And Burning Man provides so many directions to go.
00:34:57
Speaker
You can stand in one spot.
00:34:59
Speaker
and go hundreds of different directions and find something totally different and so unique and magical, very likely beautiful.
00:35:07
Speaker
That's why I love that environment so much because it really gives you an opportunity to keep practicing the shift of perspective.
00:35:15
Speaker
And so, you know, you can be standing in one place and
00:35:18
Speaker
and looking at one thing from a viewpoint, and you can move two feet over, and you can hear different sounds, you can smell different smells, you can see from different views.
00:35:28
Speaker
You know, there is just so much opportunity for practicing the change of perspective.
00:35:34
Speaker
And that's so healthy for our brains, you know, to be able to kind of unwind our programming and
00:35:41
Speaker
and start to get new neurons firing on a regular basis, then just opens up whole other level of possibilities.
00:35:49
Speaker
That's one of the grand gifts of Burning Man is that it is so different.
00:35:54
Speaker
So much of the stimulation, the patterns is so different from our default life that you have to make new patterns, you know?
00:36:03
Speaker
And so it's really fun to start noticing when your old patterns are trying to force you into like
00:36:11
Speaker
oh, I need to wake up and have some cereal right now.
00:36:14
Speaker
Like, do you?
00:36:16
Speaker
Like, you don't, or I can't sleep.
00:36:18
Speaker
Oh, I'm upset because I can't sleep.
00:36:20
Speaker
Well, then why don't you walk around?
00:36:21
Speaker
Because there's stuff happening.
00:36:23
Speaker
If you're awake, don't be angry that you can't sleep.
00:36:26
Speaker
Go see what's happening.
00:36:27
Speaker
And there's all these different ways where as you start to just surrender and allow, you will find that your mind is often in the way of what you really will bring you joy.
00:36:39
Speaker
Yep, mindset is everything.
00:36:41
Speaker
I wanted to touch also on one of the things that can be very challenging and blissful is being at Burning Man when you're in a romantic relationship.
00:36:51
Speaker
That's a thing that you can't really just walk away from.
00:36:53
Speaker
Although what I would highly suggest is do quite a bit of conversations in advance of expectations and boundaries.
00:37:05
Speaker
I actually have a whole video about relationship tips that I'll put in the show notes.
00:37:13
Speaker
I'm of the mind that I know that if we're having conflict in our relationship and we spend two, three, four days arguing, I'm going to be so upset that three days of Burning Man were sacrificed because of our tired, angry, hormonal patterns that I can, I will say to my partner, like, hey, we get into a place where we just can't get joyful with each other.
00:37:40
Speaker
I'm going to take a break.
00:37:41
Speaker
You're going to be angry at me.
00:37:42
Speaker
But when we get back to the default world, I will have no resentment.
00:37:46
Speaker
and we will be able to repair on the other side.
00:37:49
Speaker
So just know in advance that we got to figure out how to be kind and harmonious to each other, or we're going to take a break and not sacrifice this event.
00:37:58
Speaker
So having those kinds of conversations in advance and also conversations about if you, Burning Man can be a place of promiscuity.
00:38:07
Speaker
I've had many, many, many years where I never even got close to intimacy with anyone.
00:38:13
Speaker
And I've had years where I was pretty, uh-huh.
00:38:16
Speaker
And in relationship, if you're going for the first time, you might have this fear of like, oh, my partner's going to go and sleep with a bunch of people.
00:38:23
Speaker
Like, they're not going to go do that.
00:38:26
Speaker
And they're not going to have that many opportunities.
00:38:27
Speaker
But they, unless it's something that they really want to make happen.
00:38:31
Speaker
And so having the conversation in advance of like, this is something that I would be interested in if it happens in a beautiful way.
00:38:38
Speaker
What would that look like or mean to you?
00:38:40
Speaker
Like, okay, well, I'm okay with you doing it.
00:38:43
Speaker
Um, if we talk about it first or I want to meet the person first, or I'm okay with you dancing with other people, but definitely no kissing other people.
00:38:50
Speaker
Like making sure you really clear about that so that you don't get intoxicated and then think, I'm a burning man.
00:38:57
Speaker
I'm a place of freedom.
00:38:59
Speaker
How could you judge me?
00:39:00
Speaker
Like, well, no, no, we've talked about this.
00:39:02
Speaker
Good to know.
00:39:03
Speaker
Yep.
00:39:03
Speaker
Set yourself up for success in your relation.
00:39:07
Speaker
Uh, absolutely.
00:39:08
Speaker
Have those clear agreements at the very beginning.
00:39:11
Speaker
If something needs to shift while you're there, check back in.
00:39:14
Speaker
Really provide a safe place for your partner to be able to explore who they are within the co-created confines of what your relationship is about.
00:39:28
Speaker
That can provide such depth and such intimacy and even greater closeness.
00:39:35
Speaker
But without those agreements, it's kind of like setting up a structure without poles.
00:39:39
Speaker
Or if you're going to set up your tent, you need poles.
00:39:43
Speaker
You can't just throw the tarp up.
00:39:45
Speaker
You've got to have the solid...
00:39:47
Speaker
foundation to be able to grow from and then exist within.
00:39:53
Speaker
I think that's really, really important.
00:39:56
Speaker
And I think also one of the things that's kind of sparking here too is just, I mean, I have so many things on my head.
00:40:04
Speaker
on my list here, but I think one of the main pillars here is respect.
00:40:10
Speaker
When we respect ourselves, when we respect our environment, when we respect other people, when we respect the agreements of the culture here as well, which the Ten Commandments of Burning Man, I think that this really provides so much contribution to the whole and so much more ease and
00:40:33
Speaker
in the space, right?
00:40:34
Speaker
And so I know we haven't really said what those 10 principles are.
00:40:38
Speaker
Would you be willing to share them?
00:40:41
Speaker
I'm going to say it's too deep a conversation to explain.
00:40:47
Speaker
Most of the video.
00:40:48
Speaker
We'll link to a video explaining them all and say that it is really worth it to get an understanding of them because
00:40:55
Speaker
When you have a sense of what the 10 principles are, you can, it's liberating.
00:41:01
Speaker
You can be so free as long as you are following those principles.
00:41:04
Speaker
If you follow the principles, you could do anything and you know that it is going to be productive and artistic and contributing to the event.
00:41:11
Speaker
Whereas if you just do anything without knowing the principles, you could...
00:41:15
Speaker
detract from other people's experience and not make the city better, which is really the goal is like, how can I make this city better?
00:41:21
Speaker
How can I make this city better?
00:41:22
Speaker
How can I make this city better?
00:41:25
Speaker
I think that for those first-time burners out there, I think it is really important to familiarize yourself with those 10 principles.
00:41:33
Speaker
So thank you for putting the link in the show notes, but also just really do your research.
00:41:37
Speaker
What is this event about?
00:41:39
Speaker
This is not like any other event in the entire world.
00:41:42
Speaker
And it is what it is because of the way that it's been built.
00:41:45
Speaker
And so I think it's really powerful to keep coming back to those pillars that make this what it is.
00:41:50
Speaker
And then holding that as a frequency for everyone there as well.
00:41:56
Speaker
And so, yeah, a little...
00:41:58
Speaker
little sparks of inspiration around
Practical Tips and Personal Expression
00:42:00
Speaker
that.
00:42:00
Speaker
And then also one of the other pieces here that I probably could do another whole 10 episodes on is the affirmation that I really love to be with for Burning Man and in life is organization is a pathway to freedom.
00:42:18
Speaker
Organization is a pathway to freedom.
00:42:20
Speaker
because if we are showing up all disorganized, we don't know where our shit is, I don't know what's going on, I can't find my headlamp, and I don't know where this is, and I don't have systems in place, then that sets us up for chaos.
00:42:36
Speaker
And it is so frustrating to not know where the things that you need for your
00:42:42
Speaker
you know, quote unquote survival, or it's more like thrival at Burning Man, right?
00:42:47
Speaker
We want to thrive while we're there.
00:42:49
Speaker
And so how do we set ourselves up for success by creating systems that are going to provide greater ease throughout the entire experience?
00:42:58
Speaker
And one of the ways I love to do that is what I call pouch packing systems.
00:43:03
Speaker
I have all my little pouches that I've been collecting over the years and I have my little packing cubes and I have my little Ziploc bags.
00:43:12
Speaker
You know, I keep everything in those pouches, in those bags throughout the entire week.
00:43:19
Speaker
I have my specific things.
00:43:20
Speaker
I have a little special pouch that goes right next to my bed.
00:43:23
Speaker
It always has the same things in it.
00:43:25
Speaker
I never move anything that's in that pouch out of that pouch the entire time.
00:43:30
Speaker
So every time I crawl into bed, I have my throat spray.
00:43:33
Speaker
I have some chapstick.
00:43:34
Speaker
I have my tissues.
00:43:35
Speaker
I have a little...
00:43:36
Speaker
wet wipes, maybe eye drops, earplugs, those things are always staying there.
00:43:42
Speaker
So that way I know every time I go to bed, I'll have the things.
00:43:45
Speaker
I don't have to get into bed and be like, oh man, I left my throat sprain in my bag or I got weird.
00:43:51
Speaker
I might've left it in my coat pocket or maybe I left it over there.
00:43:54
Speaker
And it just makes your mind have so much more ease when we know where our things are.
00:44:00
Speaker
That's so true.
00:44:01
Speaker
On burner prep, I have a whole video on plastic bins, a whole video on Ziplocs, a whole video on having a day bag and a night bag where you just keep the stuff that you're going to use at night.
00:44:10
Speaker
Because you don't want to have a backpack and then empty it every morning and then every night go, where's my flashlight?
00:44:17
Speaker
You just have a nighttime bag, have a daytime bag.
00:44:19
Speaker
And then you'll start to add to it.
00:44:21
Speaker
Oh, one thing that I...
00:44:25
Speaker
I kind of mentioned a few things that made it sound like Burning Man is about good times always and, you know, flee from negativity and darkness.
00:44:34
Speaker
But Burning Man is exceptionally challenging.
00:44:40
Speaker
It is everything about it, getting to it, the environment, the weather.
00:44:44
Speaker
And I think it's important to remember that that is part of it.
00:44:48
Speaker
This is not a vacation.
00:44:50
Speaker
It is an adventure.
00:44:52
Speaker
And we intentionally take on these big challenges.
00:44:55
Speaker
It's kind of this insanity.
00:44:59
Speaker
Can we survive in this inhospitable place for a week?
00:45:03
Speaker
And then on top of that, can we do it while looking fabulous?
00:45:07
Speaker
Can we do it while cooking gourmet food?
00:45:10
Speaker
Can we do it while bringing carnival games?
00:45:12
Speaker
And so you're intentionally adding difficulty.
00:45:16
Speaker
And I think there's a real lesson in life there.
00:45:18
Speaker
Life is not about trying to avoid struggle.
00:45:21
Speaker
It's about finding awesome struggle and working through it with people you like and keeping a good attitude while you do it.
00:45:31
Speaker
Oh, yes.
00:45:32
Speaker
And finding grace while you do it, right?
00:45:34
Speaker
Because it literally is a pilgrimage.
00:45:37
Speaker
This is a vision quest, a spirit quest, a pilgrimage to a beautiful place out in the world that will absolutely change you.
00:45:47
Speaker
And it will challenge you in the best ways.
00:45:50
Speaker
It gives us an opportunity to grow.
00:45:52
Speaker
And those challenges are an essential part of it.
00:45:54
Speaker
It's like, how do we face the challenges that arise in our lives?
00:45:58
Speaker
You know, recently, my sister just went through, she's still going through a very challenging moment where
00:46:03
Speaker
Her power went out for like six days and she has a bum shoulder.
00:46:08
Speaker
You know, she's getting challenged big time.
00:46:11
Speaker
But how does she face it?
00:46:13
Speaker
Right.
00:46:13
Speaker
Is she going to sit there and just keep playing the victim?
00:46:16
Speaker
Right.
00:46:16
Speaker
If you're on your way to Burning Man or you are at Burning Man and things are not going in the best way, are you going to contribute to it by just being like, man, man?
00:46:26
Speaker
man, why does this always happen to me?
00:46:28
Speaker
Oh man, this is so hard.
00:46:29
Speaker
This is like, oh, I can't do this.
00:46:32
Speaker
You know, this is a great opportunity to self-reflect.
00:46:35
Speaker
You know, for anyone out there that has like done spirit quests, goes out onto the mountain for days without eating.
00:46:42
Speaker
This is a highly, highly transformational experience.
00:46:47
Speaker
for our spiritual evolution.
00:46:49
Speaker
And Burning Man can be that for us.
00:46:51
Speaker
And so just keep that in mind as you're going out there, whether this is your first time or, like I said, 27th time, always places to grow and evolve and really step into the next version of ourselves.
00:47:08
Speaker
Yeah, it's such a it's it is so valuable because it it pushes our edges.
00:47:17
Speaker
And we when we we survive something that it was harder, weirder.
00:47:24
Speaker
more edgier than we've done in the past, it expands our boundaries of what we were.
00:47:30
Speaker
And that is a good way to continue living.
00:47:34
Speaker
Keep stretching on what's possible for you and what you can do and what you can survive.
00:47:39
Speaker
And that's, I think, another, like, the gift of being around 70,000 people that are all allowing themselves to be creative in ways that maybe they've never been supported in the past.
00:47:50
Speaker
People talk, sometimes say that Burning Man is a permission engine and that in the default world, we spend so much energy figuring out what should we do?
00:47:58
Speaker
How do we fit in?
00:47:58
Speaker
What should we do?
00:47:59
Speaker
What should we do?
00:48:00
Speaker
And then Burning Man's like, should?
00:48:01
Speaker
No, no, no.
00:48:03
Speaker
What do you want to do?
00:48:04
Speaker
And that is such a crazy, liberating question that,
00:48:10
Speaker
In the default world, we often don't get asked.
00:48:12
Speaker
And so to witness people giving themselves permission to do things, you're going to see people doing things that are so much weirder than what you thought was weird.
00:48:22
Speaker
And so when you're like, you're like, oh, man, I don't know if I want to wear these these sequined boy shorts, you know, like they kind of it's kind of I don't know that I look stupid in this.
00:48:31
Speaker
And then you walk outside and you're sequined shorts and you see someone on all fours barking like a dog towing Santa in a sleigh.
00:48:40
Speaker
And you're like, yeah, no one cares.
00:48:42
Speaker
No one cares what I'm doing.
00:48:43
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:48:45
Speaker
And also the flip side, too.
00:48:47
Speaker
Am I the weird one in my yoga pants and sweatshirt?
00:48:50
Speaker
Yeah, you know, it's like that that one is really important to remember, you can show up exactly how you are in every moment, you don't have to dress up every single time.
00:48:59
Speaker
You know, that was a big one for me to really get to that the last time I went, I was like, I am intentionally going to choose some days where I am just going to wear my regular clothes.
00:49:08
Speaker
And feel okay about it.
00:49:09
Speaker
Because that has been way too many mental energy moments thinking about like, being cool or wearing the thing that is just going to be like, so awesome and so unique and so standout ish.
00:49:20
Speaker
And it's like, then I like actually spend more time in my tent trying to get ready than just out and enjoying the experience.
00:49:26
Speaker
You know, and then really that's the gift of Burning Man is that diversity is really welcomed.
00:49:33
Speaker
So show up, you know, in a way that is going to make you feel really most yourself.
00:49:38
Speaker
And if that means being totally naked or totally dressed up, it's really up to you in each moment.
00:49:45
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:49:46
Speaker
And I think that you and I are both really passionate, clearly, about Burning Man.
00:49:51
Speaker
So much so that you created a whole Instagram page.
00:49:54
Speaker
I have been posting every year burner tips and I have a checklist and I even wrote some Burning Man affirmations that I'll be sharing as well.
00:50:04
Speaker
So for those of you out there that want to manifest some magic out on the playa,
00:50:11
Speaker
I'll share those.
00:50:12
Speaker
And I think we're probably at a good point where we can have some closing sparks.
00:50:16
Speaker
I got a couple of things that I want to close with sparks and I want to encourage everyone to check the notes.
00:50:20
Speaker
You want to hear these affirmations.
00:50:22
Speaker
They are brilliant.
00:50:24
Speaker
So make sure you check the show notes this week or email one of us or message us or contact us on Instagram so that we can get you this awesome content.
00:50:34
Speaker
I wanted to talk just a second about costumes.
00:50:38
Speaker
People often reach out to me like, where do I get Burning Man clothes?
00:50:42
Speaker
I'm like, there's no such thing as Burning Man clothes.
00:50:45
Speaker
This is not a scene that you've got to figure out what to wear so you fit in.
00:50:50
Speaker
The whole point of Burning Man is that you are permission to do whatever you want, to dress however you want.
00:50:55
Speaker
If you want to dress in yoga pants,
00:50:59
Speaker
Please do so.
00:51:00
Speaker
The one thing that they do ask is no logos.
00:51:02
Speaker
Don't wear corporate logos.
00:51:04
Speaker
But if you want to wear cargo shorts and a t-shirt every day, feel free.
00:51:08
Speaker
That is absolute to you.
00:51:09
Speaker
But really, the opportunity is go, I've always wanted to wear a Viking helmet.
00:51:15
Speaker
Well, then that's the place you can do a Viking helmet.
00:51:17
Speaker
I've always wanted to wear women's clothing.
00:51:18
Speaker
Well, then do that.
00:51:19
Speaker
I've always wanted to.
00:51:20
Speaker
And you might be in a situation where you go, I've always wanted to wear, you know, raver fur boot covers.
00:51:25
Speaker
Great.
00:51:26
Speaker
You could do that, but don't do it because you feel like that's what a burner costume is.
00:51:31
Speaker
And I would say, let this be the last time I use the word costume, because a costume is when you are dressing in a way to pretend to be something that you're not.
00:51:41
Speaker
An outfit is when you are wearing something that is an expression of a part of who you are.
00:51:46
Speaker
So put together your Burning Man outfits so that you can explore different parts of who you are.
00:51:52
Speaker
Yes, thank you for that.
00:51:53
Speaker
Beautifully stated.
00:51:54
Speaker
I have always felt that way too.
00:51:56
Speaker
I'm not putting on costume.
00:51:57
Speaker
I am wearing clothes to express my unique creativity.
00:52:00
Speaker
And I think that that's probably the question that is good to be in.
00:52:03
Speaker
Where can I find unique clothing or unique elements to contribute to my outfit that will help me feel really expressed?
00:52:11
Speaker
And this is a really great opportunity to support artists.
00:52:15
Speaker
If you're not a clothing designer or an artist, there's a lot of people out there that are making really cool clothes that you can wear on the playa and off the playa.
00:52:25
Speaker
There's beautiful bazaars, there's markets, there's Etsy.
00:52:29
Speaker
There's really amazing, amazing clothing.
00:52:31
Speaker
handcrafted pieces that you can invest your money into somebody who put their love into it.
00:52:38
Speaker
And then another way if you want to be a little more resourceful is go to a thrift store and start thinking outside the box, right?
00:52:46
Speaker
If you want to wear something unique, let your creativity start to grow and maybe get a pair of fabric scissors and find a cool jacket and cut the sleeves off.
00:52:58
Speaker
or maybe like get a cool t-shirt and cut some holes in it or like make some fringe or, you know, do something that will just get you thinking in that artful mindset.
00:53:09
Speaker
It's a really beautiful opportunity to play and to let the inner child just express and do something weird.
00:53:16
Speaker
It's the best.
00:53:17
Speaker
It's such a good feeling.
00:53:18
Speaker
It's so liberating.
00:53:20
Speaker
We've just seen tens of thousands of people allowing themselves to be silly and wacky and weird, and it really opens your mind to what's possible.
00:53:34
Speaker
So if it's your first time, give yourself a little grace that you're not going to know what the right thing you're going to do.
00:53:41
Speaker
Show up, have your notebook and be like, oh, next year I'm going to make myself a fur helmet.
00:53:46
Speaker
And next year I'm going to do this.
00:53:48
Speaker
Just allow yourself to fall into play.
00:53:52
Speaker
My closing spark is about an in general attitude that –
00:54:00
Speaker
Often people will say Burning Man's on their bucket list or I used to be a greeter, which is someone that welcomes each person that comes in and says, welcome home and gives them a booklet and some answers questions.
Burning Man Spirit Beyond the Playa
00:54:11
Speaker
And people would often say, oh, it's my first time.
00:54:13
Speaker
I'm just here to check it out.
00:54:14
Speaker
I'm here to check it out.
00:54:15
Speaker
And that's not how this works.
00:54:17
Speaker
This is not a concert.
00:54:18
Speaker
It's not a music festival.
00:54:20
Speaker
There's not artists on stage for you to check out.
00:54:22
Speaker
You're not the audience.
00:54:24
Speaker
You are Burning Man.
00:54:26
Speaker
You are there to contribute you.
00:54:29
Speaker
And some of that is being someone who participates in other people's stuff.
00:54:33
Speaker
So it is a gift to this city to go, ooh, there's a miniature golf set up.
00:54:39
Speaker
Let's go play.
00:54:40
Speaker
That's how you can contribute.
00:54:43
Speaker
Or you might, at the end of the miniature golf, you might say, wow, everyone's got bruised shins from playing this game.
00:54:49
Speaker
I'm going to fashion shin guards out of the stuff that I found.
00:54:55
Speaker
Let yourself realize that you are the janitor.
00:54:59
Speaker
You are the host.
00:55:00
Speaker
You are the entertainer.
00:55:01
Speaker
You are what this event is.
00:55:04
Speaker
And your contribution is what makes it what it is.
00:55:06
Speaker
And you are so welcome.
00:55:08
Speaker
And if it's your first time, I can't wait to welcome you home.
00:55:11
Speaker
And if you see me, please ask for a hug.
00:55:15
Speaker
Yes, beautiful.
00:55:17
Speaker
I have so many closing sparks.
00:55:19
Speaker
I will share from my seat over here, knowing that I'm not going this year and that there's a lot of other friends that have been many times that are not going this year.
00:55:31
Speaker
The closing spark is to let the spirit of Burning Man and all of what we're talking about and more shine.
00:55:37
Speaker
To continue to inspire and illuminate and bring that out into the world, you know, to really bring the essence of creativity and contribution and community and uniqueness and that veil that is between people out in the quote unquote default world, bring that into...
00:55:56
Speaker
into the world because it is a real gift to shine and to share and to bring the lessons and the magic of the playa off the playa and so i love this conversation i want to keep it going um i definitely am going to check out your burner prep instagram page and share it um i'm feeling
Connecting with Hosts and Farewell
00:56:18
Speaker
extra sparked now thank you halcyon
00:56:22
Speaker
And for those of you also that want to have a little more one-on-one conversation, feel free to send me a note and just chat about Burning Man or just reach out.
00:56:33
Speaker
I always love getting to connect with friends and people out there that are listening.
00:56:38
Speaker
Awesome.
00:56:39
Speaker
Yeah, definitely.
00:56:40
Speaker
I want to list a couple of ways to find me on Playa and off that are related to things we've been talking about.
00:56:47
Speaker
If you're going to Burning Man, my main event that I've been doing for, I think, 18 years is the Pink Ride.
00:56:53
Speaker
It's Thursday at noon and we meet at Pink Heart, which is at...
00:56:59
Speaker
445 and Esplanade.
00:57:00
Speaker
And so show up with your bike, have a, if you've got a pink outfit, wear that.
00:57:03
Speaker
And I will money back guarantee that it will be a highlight of your burn.
00:57:09
Speaker
Um, we, and then on Friday at 9 PM at burners without borders, I said, I'm going to have a fireside gratitude circle at 9 PM and that's at 345 and Esplanade.
00:57:19
Speaker
So those are two events that I will be hosting and I will be at, um,
00:57:22
Speaker
Thank you.
00:57:39
Speaker
Things we've learned at Burning Man and how we integrate it into our lives.
00:57:43
Speaker
I also, the morning broadcast that I do every day at 9 a.m.
00:57:46
Speaker
on YouTube and Facebook is a Love Ambassador meetup and it is anchored in how do we find this, how do we make that veil?
00:57:55
Speaker
as thin as possible.
00:57:56
Speaker
How do we be the ambassadors that allow other people to let down their veils and connect in that place that is so easy at Burning Man?
00:58:05
Speaker
It's that kind of practice scrimmage area where we can practice with a supportive community so that we can then take it into the world and have the courage and the strength to be that love ambassador, even when the world doesn't always give us the affirmation and confirmation that makes it feel good.
00:58:21
Speaker
So
00:58:22
Speaker
Join me every day, any day at nine o'clock or see me at Burning Man and lifestudent.com as links to all this stuff.
00:58:28
Speaker
Oh, and Burner Prep as an Instagram account.
00:58:31
Speaker
Amazing.
00:58:32
Speaker
Yes.
00:58:33
Speaker
So good.
00:58:34
Speaker
And for those of you to find me out in the world, online and in person, you can find my website, thinklahoo.com or poweraffirmation.com where you can learn more about my offerings and doing
00:58:48
Speaker
somatic body work and healing work in San Diego and also in Asheville, North Carolina, which feels really good to get to be calling home now.
00:58:58
Speaker
And you're welcome to explore some of my audio affirmations on Insight Timer.
00:59:04
Speaker
You can check out the journal that I created, the cards that really empower thinking in affirmation and living life in affirmation.
00:59:13
Speaker
And find me on all the socials, of course.
00:59:17
Speaker
Always love to hear from you as our listeners on Apple Podcasts.
00:59:22
Speaker
So thank you so much for taking a moment after you listen to this to leave us a little review.
00:59:26
Speaker
Maybe share this episode with some of your burner friends.
00:59:30
Speaker
Always wonderful to get to serve and share some of the inspiration that we've gathered.
00:59:35
Speaker
So thank you so much for listening.
00:59:38
Speaker
And in the spirit of Stay Sparked and our closing, I would love to close this out with a Burning Man affirmation.
00:59:46
Speaker
All right.
00:59:48
Speaker
So you get to choose, though, Halcyon.
00:59:49
Speaker
Do you want the Burning Man affirmation that is kind of silly and all about staying sane at Burning Man?
00:59:58
Speaker
Or do you want the one that is energizing and is empowering?
01:00:02
Speaker
Oh, I think silly.
01:00:04
Speaker
I think the sacredness of silliness is strong at Burning Man.
01:00:09
Speaker
I think we should amplify that right now.
01:00:11
Speaker
Okay.
01:00:11
Speaker
All right.
01:00:12
Speaker
All right.
01:00:13
Speaker
So for you burners out there, keep these in your brain when you are riding on your bike and you're flowing through the playa.
01:00:22
Speaker
I always know where my headlamp is.
01:00:25
Speaker
I always know where my headlamp is.
01:00:26
Speaker
I always know where my water bottle is.
01:00:30
Speaker
I am very well hydrated.
01:00:33
Speaker
I am always very well hydrated.
01:00:35
Speaker
I accept my weirdness and celebrate other people and their weirdness.
01:00:39
Speaker
I accept my weirdness and I celebrate other people and their weirdness.
01:00:44
Speaker
Dust clouds avoid me.
01:00:47
Speaker
I ride through sand dunes like a boss.
01:00:51
Speaker
My bike is tip top and I always know where it is.
01:00:54
Speaker
Let's repeat that one.
01:00:56
Speaker
My bike is tip top and I always know where it is.
01:01:00
Speaker
My feet feel wonderful.
01:01:01
Speaker
My cuticles are happy.
01:01:04
Speaker
I sleep easily day or night.
01:01:06
Speaker
I sleep easily day or night.
01:01:09
Speaker
I sleep easily day or night.
01:01:13
Speaker
I face the porta-potties with courage.
01:01:15
Speaker
I face the porta-potties with courage.
01:01:18
Speaker
And I attract the cleanest portos every time.
01:01:21
Speaker
There's always plenty of TP.
01:01:23
Speaker
Always plenty of TP.
01:01:26
Speaker
I am well lit.
01:01:28
Speaker
I am well lit.
01:01:29
Speaker
I am well lit.
01:01:31
Speaker
And this is my favorite.
01:01:33
Speaker
The music miraculously gets better every time I arrive on the dance floor.
01:01:38
Speaker
That's amazing.
01:01:40
Speaker
The music always just gets better and better every time I arrive on the dance floor.
01:01:44
Speaker
It's a miracle.
01:01:46
Speaker
And lastly, Exodus is easy.
01:01:49
Speaker
Exodus is easy.
01:01:51
Speaker
Exodus is easy.
01:01:54
Speaker
Have an amazing adventure to the burn this year.
01:01:59
Speaker
And I'm so grateful for this beautiful conversation with you, Halcyon.
01:02:02
Speaker
I love you so much.
01:02:04
Speaker
I love you.
01:02:05
Speaker
Thank you so much.
01:02:06
Speaker
Stay sparked, people.
01:02:09
Speaker
Find us on Instagram at stay sparked and leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.
01:02:15
Speaker
Thanks so much for helping us spread these sparks.