Transcript
Speaker: Back in the room. Back in the room. And I'm so glad that you can join us here in ADHDville for the summer sessions three. So let's go to the place where the distractions are landmarks and the detours are on the main roads. Welcome to ADHDville.
Speaker: That's so cute. Oh, look at that little doggy. If you're watching on on on you on YouTube, ah we called the we've got a dog has has ah has ah photobombed the podcast.
Speaker: ah Anywho... yes get Let's get cracking. I'm Martin West. I was officially diagnosed with combined ADHD, poopoo platter in 2013 and highly suspected autistic.
Speaker: um And with me I have Amy. And Jake. Hello. yeah now uh so here's the thing if you're expecting to see Paul he's not going to be here until early September he's having the summer off and so what I've sneakily done is invited Amy here to be a guest co-host
Speaker: I'm thrilled! I'm so excited! Thank you so much for inviting me. Well, yeah. You know what? This is... I've i've always wondered whether...
Speaker: I mean, like obviously, i've I've known Paul for like 40 years or whatever. And I was like, if you have someone that you... I mean, I've only met you really... i mean, before today, I've met you kind of like twice.
Speaker: Yes. right Yes, once was, I came to your house once briefly and then the second time you and your lovely wife, my friend Tricia, hosted like the most beautiful 4th of July pool party. You were impeccable hosts.
Speaker: Nice, nice. We can look like we are impeccable hosts for a few hours. All I know is when I got there, there was a basket full of rolled up towels for everyone. And I just thought that was so classy. Like every little detail was like, what chef's kiss.
Speaker: Right. I'm going to kill the sound of these seagulls. Okay. God.
Speaker: They've all died. Hi, guys. Yeah. Yeah. So we we met then. Yeah. um And here you are now.
Speaker: kiss Guest co-hosting. I'm so, I know. It's wild. It's wild how that happened. Trisha connected us. I just, well, really, I connected with her over TikTok, which is incredible. Right.
Speaker: And yeah, here we are. i know. And if it feels like um it feels like that one of the most ADHD things I can think of to do, it's just like, yeah, let's just grab this person and let's just do a podcast.
Speaker: What can go wrong? Oh, my God, Martin, in like a year from now, we're going to look back on this and be like, remember when we had only met twice? Yeah. and and then And all these memories we're about to create.
Speaker: I know. I know. e Exactly. so So what is this podcast going to be? So let me just ah lay it out, I think. So ah Amy's going to be the co-host until until a guest co-host until Paul arrives back from his summer vacays and his flip floppies and his speedos.
Speaker: um And we are going to carry on doing the ADHDville Gazette thing next next week. but But this week is is really just going be about, you know, you and me getting to know Amy somewhat, a little bit more.
Speaker: Wait, I'm so distracted by the Speedos comment. Is he really going to be wearing Speedos? No. Okay. No. No. it's It's like, I mean, it's like Speedos is the punchline.
Speaker: Got it. For any swimwear. Yes. Male beach scenario. Yeah. Speedos are the, okay, i got it. Yeah, because like because I can't help think of those like, you know, you know those little skinny Speedos, you the ones that like hardly hardly there and they just look.
Speaker: Wait, aren't all Speedos hardly there? Probably. Yes. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. I didn't know there was a different level of Speedo. There was only one. just Embarrassing. Exactly. Exactly.
Speaker: oh That's funny. All right. So I think um I think we were chatting earlier. and You know, I think, you know, some of the kind of interesting things are that you're that you're not diagnosed.
Speaker: with ADHD or autism or, you know, those two, anything like, you know, any those two things specifically, but, you know, you know, you've kind of done therapy for years and working on, on, on other issues and your new therapist kind of suspects that you could be Correct.
Speaker: My new therapist who I've been in and out of therapy since I was nine. And I remember because I had a really hard time in school and I remember going into the therapist's office and she had like these games out and it was like, monopoly, but instead of BIPOC place, it was like, your mom yells at you. How do you feel? And I was like, we don't need this. Like we could just talk. Like I took to it very easily. I was like, let's just talk. So I've been in and out of therapy since I was nine and I'm 46 now. And I got to a point where I was like, I feel like I need a different type of therapist because I've been like talking about these issues for many, many years. And I need like a change because like, I still
Speaker: have some unresolved, I mean, everyone has like unresolved things in their life, but, um and this new therapist is really more about energy and like she does Reiki, you know, Reiki.
Speaker: And so I was sort of my first couple sessions in the sort of like getting to know you sessions where like, you're really not getting help. You're just kind of like telling your life story.
Speaker: And she was the one who was pointing things out to me. that could be neurodivergent issues, um or highly sensitive person things. Right. And ah and so I was telling you, i this was so new to me. And this is only within the last like six months, I would say. So I started calling places, seeing if I could get tested for neurodivergence. And they were like, that's not a thing.
Speaker: Like that's not a thing that they do. So can you kind of explain that? So it sort goes like, it sort of goes like hand in hand, I guess, with ADHD.
Speaker: Correct? What, the whole neurodivergent thing? Yeah, is that right? Yeah, so it's so if that's a that's an umbrella term for a lot of neurological conditions of which ADHD is one, autism is one, Then you get all the others, like, you know, all the and and anxiety ah disorders, like, you know, OCD and, I mean, dis dyslexia, dyspraxia. I mean, like, the did did ah dip dipp depression kind of, you know, that can fall under under that. It's like, know, borderline personality ah disorders. i mean, there's just like, a whole it's a whole zoo. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: of things of of which, as you say, you can't test for, you know, it isn't a thing you can necessarily test for, but it's, but what you find is, which is your journey, is that is that something is wrong and you kind of think, well, let's get that sorted out.
Speaker: And then you find that, oh, there might be this other thing, there might be this other thing. And and it's ah And it's like a journey that we all go through from, you know, we all start in our different places and we all, you know, go through this journey this very long yeah ah process of discovering o who who we are. But it sounds like you're kind of like you've been starting that since you were nine.
Speaker: then recently you've kind of gone, oh, hang on a second. Is this something that I have? Could I be ADHD? Could I be like, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, like it's not like something is wrong with me, which is what I've been thinking. So I'll give you an example. So um I live with my long-term boyfriend. His name is Sean. We've been together for eight years.
Speaker: Love him. You've met him. He's great. Now, when I moved in with him, um I happened to be, I don't know, you know how the TikTok algorithms – sort of feed into, I guess I was looking up, what is it like living with someone? Like, I didn't know. I was like, not used to this at all. And all these women were like, when I get home at the end of the day to see my husband or my boyfriend, I run into his arms and, or like, or when my husband gets home and I hear the key in the door, I just jump up from the couch with glee. And I was like, can't,
Speaker: freak Can I curse on this podcast? Absolutely. I was like, I fucking hate when I get home and have to deal with the moment from when I walk in the door to when I am sitting on the couch. And it is and I was like, oh my God, does that have to do with Sean? I don't think it has to do with Sean. But like but I was so... um So I thought there was something wrong with me because I was like, oh, my God, like all these women are like so excited to see their their man. And all I was thinking about was like, first I have to walk in the door. Then I have to put my pocketbook on the counter. Then I have to take everything out of my pocketbook. Then I have to put my wallet in the designated wallet spot. Then I have to put my keys in their spot. Then I have to say hello to the dog. Then i have to take a shower. And like all the steps until I was –
Speaker: settled and relaxed from my day. And then I'll be happy to talk to Sean. Right. but i didn't know But I thought something was wrong with me because I was not like running ah into the the house and like making out with Sean like the for the first second I saw him.
Speaker: honey, I'm home. Yeah, like, but then I, so in my research, I learned that transitions, so I guess when you get home from work until when you're settled, and I guess that's a transition, that transitions can be a symptom of neurodivergence.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. No, i mean, that's, that yeah, I mean, that that's something we I, you know, I struggle with all kinds of trans, trans, trans, especially what you're saying there is like,
Speaker: um things where there's multiple transitions, right? So yeah there's there's there's the kind of coming home. There's putting things in certain places so that you know where they are so that you don't lose them because if you don't know where they are, then that's just going to cause anxiety and it's going to bug you.
Speaker: um And then you have to kind of do all these steps. in order to to achieve you going from front door to couch. And it's same, I mean, like, you know, having having a shower for me is like, is sits in that thing because there's just lots of steps.
Speaker: So what are the steps? For your shower. So it's not just like I turn on the water, I take a shower and I leave, which is I feel like what many people think it is, but like it's not.
Speaker: Right. No. ah I wish it was that simple, at least for me. So first thing is I have to think I am worth having. I'm worthy of having a shower.
Speaker: okay I am worthy of being clean. Yeah. Right? i i ah Out of all the things that i have to do, That is a priority, right? So it's so that's the first obstacle. is' It's actually just thinking, yeah, no, I i should. Then obviously you um you've got the whole transition of ah getting undressed. So you've kind of got, you know, then things are colder or warmer. Yes. Usually colder, right? So your skin feels weird because now now there's – I mean, I'd like to have –
Speaker: something i like to have clothes on yes generally like there's something nice about the about feeling cotton on me yeah um so you've you've you you' you've you've got that uh then but then when you take them off for your shower there's that let's say 60 seconds to two minutes where you're cold right and then you've got the water which then has its own temperature issues.
Speaker: So it's like is it like, is it too hot? Is it too cold? You have to keep putting your fingers in and testing it out. So there's that whole process of getting that right. And then <unk> depending on whether you're, I mean, I don't know how, some some people can manage to get into, are you always can you get into the shower at the head at the head end Yes. Why? What?
Speaker: How do you get Oh, my God. I can't I can't even deal with the water part. have to get into the other end and then and then ease way in. get that. get it.
Speaker: i get that i get it I can't kind of do the, I can't just jump in. um So then there's getting the temp, there's all of that. But then once you're in and you and the sense and the the the sensation of the water's on you, then it's very difficult to transition out. like Like, this city is my home now.
Speaker: Right, because then you feel comfortable. Yes, because you're now you're comfortable with that whatever the temperature is, you've gotten that. And like now you're going to be cold again and wet yeah in an environment that's like not conducive to being wet. Like in the shower, you're supposed to be wet. Now I'm going to be wet and cold outside the shower. Yeah.
Speaker: Right. And I know, I mean, I don't have any hair, but I know that I was speaking to someone this week, weekend who hates having wet hair.
Speaker: Like, like that's their thing. Like they don't like having a shower because it means wet hair. Interesting. Yeah. Then, yes. So, so then you have to get out. you there's There's the whole, uh,
Speaker: sensation of of being cold and wet and they have to deal with that. And then you have to deal with getting into other clothes. While you're still wet.
Speaker: If you don't dry off enough. Right. And then you've then you've got to, mean, have to go and search for other clothes. I can't. put on the same clothes that I just had because in my head I'm like well that I was dirty when I yeah had the shower so therefore my clothes are dirty so therefore I have to put on a whole new clean set have to go find that yeah oh right right right yes ah so it's it's a lot it's a lot of steps and I feel like ah a lot of people don't think about everything that we just said
Speaker: They're just like, I'm going to take a shower. But really it's like, do you understand? Like, like not for me, it's not specifically with a shower, but I, but what you're saying about the steps is, is similar to how I feel when I get home in my head, I'm going like step one, like put my pocketbook down step two. So for you, it could be like step one, like get out of my clothes step to deal with the fact that I'm cold. And it just, it seems very overwhelming.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. they The only thing I've found kind of works is, well, other than, oh I have to have a shower because I've got people coming coming around or I've got to meet someone or whatever, um ah is if I turn on the shower, then it's running and I feel compelled. so you know, that water's costing me.
Speaker: Yes. There is money draining out of my bank account just by turning on the taps. Well, wait a minute. Trisha, your fab wife, introduced me to the show Extreme Cheapskates.
Speaker: Oh, really? Have you seen this show? I don't think so. Okay, I just watched a couple clips on YouTube, and in all of them... Like, I thought it was going to be people who, like, I don't know. I don't know what I thought. But I did not think it was going to be people who reused the same bathwater for their whole family for a week.
Speaker: What? does it proof For a week? you Did you say a week? Maybe it was a day. Oh, yeah, yeah. But it felt very long. Right. It felt like too much. It's like it's bath day on Sunday.
Speaker: Right. And because that's what they used to do back in the day. That was very common. Wait, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm like, so my grandparents' era, so we're kind of going, you know, anyone who was around in the, you know, 60s and earlier,
Speaker: you would basically, you would have a bath on a Sunday because you would go to work or you would go, kids would go, go to school. You fill up the bathtub. Um, and then it went in priority. So usually the man of the house had the first bath, then the wife, and then you'd go down the kids.
Speaker: Wait, what? And then if if you were the youngest kid, you would be you would you would get the worst end of this deal. You're like in everybody else's filth. Yes.
Speaker: yeah Wait, this was a thing? Yeah, common. Very common. All over the world? Well, I mean, I ah can't attest for everywhere in the in the world. But certainly in the UK, and I suspect in the States, it was probably the same.
Speaker: That's horrifying. And the second that we get off this podcast, I'm going to look it up because I'm fascinated. But like, yeah, like I, wow. Yeah. Like I, I guess if you, yeah, if you think of it, like the water is costing me, then it's like, well, then I better fucking get in the shower. I mean, isn't it weird? The things that like motivate you.
Speaker: Right. And you, and, and you have to find them and they're weird things. Yes. They're always weird and they don't necessarily always work either. No. They'll work for a while and then they don't and then you're like, oh, fuck.
Speaker: th So I, now I don't know if this is considered like a neurodivergent thing or a highly sensitive person thing. Cause I, I think something's going on that I'm still learning that I'm somewhere along the lines of the two. But, um, so as a woman, when I exercise, I, I wear a sports bra.
Speaker: Like, you know what that looks like. It's this like, um, what's the material that like, Horrible, cold. It's like a horrible, cold material. Right. And you have to put it on over your head. And it's I don't like it. And I remember in therapy with one of my therapists saying one of the reasons I hate exercise is because I don't like putting these tight clothes on.
Speaker: And in the wintertime, especially when it's really cold and I have to, like you were saying with the shower, I have to change out of my clothes and know I'm not going to have clothes on and be freezing for however long, a minute or so, and then put on this cold, tight sports bra.
Speaker: I like, i I'm not going to do it. And so she said, why don't you take a blow dryer and blow dry the sports bra and then it's warm and i was like that's a great idea i did it once it did not work i'm like not gonna pull out the blow dryer plug it it was like a whole thing right so that was that failed right and uh you know what i i think that's that's what i i often find that with hacks right is that it introduces something
Speaker: that still doesn't work like the hairdryer because now you have to know where your hairdryer is, find it, plug it in. If it's not already plugged plugged in, then you've got to stand there and do it for a while.
Speaker: And then the hot, you're getting hot air on your hand and it's so just weird. And then you've got a window of opportunity to kind of like, when we've reached maximum or the desired temperature, then you've got to get it on. And all the while you're... You're you're freezing. You're probably topless, right? because yes Because you want to put it on. Right. And it's just uncomfortable.
Speaker: Horrible. Right. Yeah. Yeah. There's loads of... there's Right, and they're all weird. is it's It's like I've i've had trouble... um I don't have a habit of brushing my teeth like first thing in the morning or last thing at night. I just...
Speaker: My brain will not accept that that's a thing that I have to do. Yeah. Until you know, the hack, if you like, that that that just worked for me. may not necessarily work for anyone else on the entire planet is every time I go into the upstairs bathroom, I brush my teeth.
Speaker: So... No matter what time of day it is? No matter what time of day. so i will or So I will generally go into that bathroom about two or three times in a day. So I will brush my teeth two or three times in a day.
Speaker: And that's the only way that i I've managed to do it. that But even then, it's 80% success rate. So as long as anything, it's 80% success rate. That's pretty good. Fucking golden.
Speaker: You're brushing your teeth more than the rest of us, P.S. Oh, I know. Three times a day? I told my dentist and and she was hor she was horrified and very concerned. Interesting.
Speaker: But you're doing it, though. Well, yeah. ah She was like, yeah, but toothpaste is so so is so abrasive. apparently, that if I overdo it, ah they get concerned. And i'm like, honestly.
Speaker: can't win in this world. No, you can't win with with the dentist. No, you can't. No matter what I do. I feel like i i I think about when I brush my teeth, if I'm being a good like dental patient because I am so scared when I go to the dentist that I'm going to get like a talking to about like whatever it is like, oh, back here is like a little bad. I don't know.
Speaker: right Yeah, but I but I also I hate brushing my teeth, especially at night. And I think that's the transition thing because and I have this thought every night without fail. Let's say it's like eight o'clock and I want to go to bed. I want to be in bed by like, let's say 10.
Speaker: even if it's just to wind down or whatever. i am already thinking at eight o'clock about the transition from my couch to bed, basically. I have to turn off this light. I have to turn off that light. I have a candle. I have to blow the candle out. And then I have to put the candle in its designated spot so that tomorrow morning I can trim the wick And then and then i have to brush my teeth. And what does that – like, oh, my God, mouthwash, floss. Like I get so um overwhelmed that what I've started doing is almost similar to you. if in that two-hour window, let's say between 8 and 10, if I have to go to the bathroom, I'll brush my teeth then. And that way that's done. And then when it's bedtime, all I have to do is like turn the lights out and blow out the candles.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, is it is. It's like, it is. It's it's like, no, like, as you say, like, the the first thing is, like, I have a real problem doing this thing that normal people seem to be able to do okay, but I'm struggling. Yeah. And I think it's a character flaw.
Speaker: I think it's me. and I think I'm lazy and I feel bad about that. And why does everyone else... managed to do it and I can't and then you realize at some point oh it's a series of transitions and I don't always have the the the the spoons we we we call it don't always have the mental energy to kind of do all of the transit all of the transitions especially at night right when you're tired and you're like i just want to get a bit did you um when you were diagnosed because I find that ever since my therapist has been pointed this out to me and we've been talking about it it's it's made me feel
Speaker: calmer like like oh there's nothing wrong with me like is that how you felt when you were diagnosed like almost like a relief kind of yeah I know that that that is a very common it's it's quite common to kind of go feel like oh it's not me there's something my brain is wired in a certain way yeah or you know I've had a trauma or whatever it is and and now my brain is like this and it's not my fault Right. Yes, it's not my fault. Right.
Speaker: Right. And then there can be a period where you kind of get angry because every everyone made it feel like it was your fault and it wasn't your fault. And you're like, what the fuck? Yeah.
Speaker: Or even like you were like hard on yourself. like Like why am I not like normal? Everyone else is just walking around brushing their teeth and taking a shower. Like it's no big deal. Right. Yeah. yeah They can go to the gym in their sports bras. I'm sure they're not all like got their hair dryers out.
Speaker: When I see these girls, which I don't go to the gym anymore because it made me feel other than because they were all excited about working out and I have to like force myself to work out. So instead I work out at home. But when I would go to the gym and see these women who looked beautiful in their leggings, their tight leggings and their sports bras, it made me feel like something was wrong with me because I was like, that what happened to them when they put that on? They just put that on like no big deal.
Speaker: Like, ah I, would like, there was no way i could do that. Like, it would, it was just too uncomfortable. um it just made me feel, yeah other than. Right.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, think, you know, it was like, um, Yeah, for sure. so you you So you kind of go through this process, you know, and it's in it's interesting having you as as a co-host because ah when Paul started this podcast, he had just been diagnosed like that week.
Speaker: Oh, my God. the whole podcast has been like, has really been kind of like him going from knowing nothing to kind of like, you know, two years of, of, of his journey. So it's kind of in, in trusting having you here, you know, even kind of further back from, from that, just kind of gang, hang on a second. I, you know,
Speaker: I suspect, you know, maybe there's something else going on, you know, other than having anxiety but disorders and, you know, maybe there's something else in the, in the background.
Speaker: Yeah. It's very reassuring. And I think also, um
Speaker: being with someone who who, I can like say this stuff to, like my boyfriend, Sean, like, I think I also have had to say to him like, you know, I thought this was just a weird thing, but actually like, I thought this was like a quirk, but no.
Speaker: So, so now he takes it seriously too. Like all my stuff, which is which is very nice. Right. But sometimes I don't know how to handle it in the real world, like with other people um,
Speaker: um
Speaker: ah Like I was telling you about the happy the happy hour thing. oh yeah. and And people. So can i talk about that? OK, so so Sean and i lived in New York City for years and then the rents obviously are so insane. And so we decided we have to move out of the city.
Speaker: We looked, we ended up not doing this, but for a hot minute, we were, we were going to move I mean, we live here now, but this was a couple of years ago. We thought we were going to have to move then.
Speaker: And we found an apartment. in this nice apartment complex. We went there to take measurements, I remember. And our first clue that something was and not our vibe was when the super who was showing us the apartment started talking about how like, oh, we all get together and have dinner.
Speaker: And I was like, what? Dinner. Dinner. What? What does that even mean? ah i was like, OK. And we were kind of like, OK. And then he kept talking about we'll do this. And if a new restaurant opens. And I was like, who's like the tenants? Like what's going on? And then as we were leaving, we were in the lobby.
Speaker: And a tenant from the building was there and and the super introduced us and said, oh, they might be moving in. And the tenant said, oh, we have happy hours in the lobby every Friday.
Speaker: and I was like, you have to be fucking crazy if you think that I'm going to go to a happy hour every Friday in the place where I live and and and And so many thoughts went through my head. What if i I'm walking home and I walk past them and I don't want to go to the happy hour because too many people, it freaks me out. What are they going to think of me? and i going Am I going to be like the bitch who's antisocial? Like, what are they going to be talking about? like And I just remember leaving with Sean and we just looked at each other and we were like, nope, we're not doing it.
Speaker: Now, when I told you this story earlier and I got to the part where I said, and there's a happy hour every Friday, you are the one person who I told the story to who had what I consider to be the appropriate reaction, which was like complete and utter horror.
Speaker: But everybody else I told when I said, yeah, we might move to this place with happy hours. They were like, oh, fun. No. no No, I know it's so horrifying. And I think stuff like that has made me feel like, am I not normal? Because like, I guess everyone thinks that's fun. I think that's ah horrendous.
Speaker: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. a i Yeah, I would be kind of, yeah, I'd be beep, beep, beep, reverse. Like the bus backing up, yeah.
Speaker: yeah Yeah, that is not a group of people that I could i could live with. there's Right, you have to live with these people? I'm throwing out the garbage and I'm worried that you hate me because I didn't go to the happy hour?
Speaker: Oh, I know. It's, iss I mean, like, ah oh, so we were, you know, it's about groups of people, right? And this kind of like ice breaking thing. So have you, ah have you, have you worked at companies that do the whole ice breaking thing?
Speaker: team building unfortunately stuff yeah because like paul and i were talking about that yes last last week no it was a week the before right or it was no it was his last episode right yeah well yeah because he had to do a whole team building have you had to do that ever oh yeah i've had to do what goes through your mind it's it's it's so horrible it's so horrible it's i mean like i i don't even like i don't know whether you've been in a a meeting right and there's a bunch of people and you're all sitting around a table and someone goes it's the words that that never want to hear which is let's go around the room and introduce ourselves and
Speaker: And I never, I just like, oh no, they stopped getting around the room and it gets to me and I'm panicking, panicking, panicking. And then, you know, like it's, it's my turn. and i' like I know. What do you say?
Speaker: Do you have like a thing that you say? I'm Martin. Well, no, because what happens is, unless you're the one who starts so you can set the tone. Right, yes.
Speaker: It ends up being whatever else, you know, like they may say, oh, I'm Jane Smith. And a fun fact about me is, you know, I you know i i i balance pasta on my cat's head in for four Instagram likes. And you go, oh, wow, okay. Is this where we're heading? Yeah. Is this where we're going?
Speaker: You have to come up with a fun fact. Yeah. And then you're like. Oh, the fun fact. There's nothing worse. Right. Yeah. So and then there's the team building exercises, which which i've i I mean, i've i've yeah I've been in the rooms where is.
Speaker: Which... No, no. Fucking HR people. HR. I hate HR. hate HR. Fucking HR. I just fucking don't like people from HR. Fucking hate HR. They fuck. Oh, my God. Just... Just... Fuck off.
Speaker: Totally. Yeah, where you'll be sitting at a table and you and then, oh, yeah, okay, you're little group of people there. Okay, we're going to give you these things and you have to make a pyramid out of it and and saw something out of these sticks and things and, you know, some sort of like challenge. And I'm like, I don't want to be here anymore.
Speaker: Nope. No, and I think what's so, um what always made me feel so weird is sort of like looking around at everyone else who seems to be having a good time. Oh, yeah, there are people who like it.
Speaker: Yes, and I think that they're nuts. Yeah. Because to me it seemed it seems like forced um bonding.
Speaker: Right. I actually had an experience recently where my company, we volunteer and we were volunteering and it's the World Cup.
Speaker: Is the World Cup over? I don't even know. It's over. Okay. Who won? Okay. Is that good? Are you happy? Everyone's happy Spain won. Okay. je Are you happy Spain won? I mean, obviously everyone would like their own country to win. Oh, okay. But if isn't your own country, Spain then we're happy in pain Spain was was wiz a wi a with a solid fine. So obviously I don't follow it. I don't care. So we were volunteering and and beforehand the woman running the volunteer experience is like, let's all do an icebreaker. Who do you want to win the World Cup? right So now we're all supposed to go around.
Speaker: i don't know. i like barely know what the World Cup is. So she gets to me, who do you want to win? And I was like, Yeah, I don't follow it, but um Liz is leaving Real Housewives of Rhode Island and I'm devastated. Exactly.
Speaker: What we should be talking about. I know. And thankfully she like laughed and she was like fine with it. But I just, those things get me, like I'm like, I don't know what to say about the World Cup. I don't follow the World Cup. So um' I guess I have to make up my own icebreaker. And thankfully everyone was like receptive, but...
Speaker: but those things there's something about that sort of corporate bonding let's all be like besties and like i don't know it's very robotic and weird what what i kind of liked about that is is is ah you came up with a funny joke to get yourself out of the whole fucking thing. Yeah.
Speaker: And there, and ah but mom because you've spent probably like a lot of us, we all have a really good and dark sense of humor.
Speaker: And has come from like just a coping process. sort of thing you know like you know like if you don't know what to do say something funny and then laugh and then everything's fine right Yes, i had no i I was like, I don't know what to do.
Speaker: i don't follow soccer. ah hate icebreakers. guess I'll just like amuse myself and talk about the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. And thank God, like everyone was like fine with it But i think these these like icebreakers are like sometimes it's like, why can't we just like talk? well Let's just talk.
Speaker: It doesn't have to be an icebreaker. Like we could just chat. Right. No. Is that my? Oh, sorry. It's a spam. It's my and it's a spam call. It's not even anybody important. Oh, I know. i'm I'm getting deluged with scam calls.
Speaker: What is it? Recently. I don't know. I don't either. it's so annoying. Sorry about that. I thought i thought i had that ah you know I have done that myself.
Speaker: and if and And in fact, i didn't even I didn't even think it was my phone. I thought i thought it was our, it was it was out ah we had a guest.
Speaker: And I thought it was a guest's phone. So I'm just sitting there kind of going... Are you going to turn that phone off? I thought it was your phone just now. I thought it was your phone. And I looked at mine and I was like, oh, it's me. Oh, it's me. I know. i i but Yeah, no because I knew that I turned my phone off. Wait, I don't even know how to turn it. to so It was its un silent are you on d Do you have an Apple phone or something?
Speaker: Yeah. Do you? Yeah, so that little button on the side, that little... button on the side that little thing yeah right at the top uh that that turns onto silent it's silent oh but it was vibrating oh so you might have it okay so you've probably got all right anyway yeah noted for next time oh tech tech stuff technical stuff i know it's a miracle that a podcast even happens totally 100 percent
Speaker: All right, so, yeah. All right, so that I think, um it is a yeah, yeah. All right, so I think that this feels like um that it could be interesting to kind of like to have you on board as pools, as a...
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, it is, obviously, is you can't substitute pool He's irreplaceable. He's irreplaceable. m But I do find that I, um personally, I do like so having someone to, oh shit, I hate my luck. I do like having someone to kind of to talk against, talk with. Talk against.
Speaker: yes Yeah, yeah. I find it easier. So, all right, so ah so I think what we're going to do, so next week marvel ah we're going to do the ADHD a Gazette oh thing.
Speaker: so ah So you're tasked with finding things things to talk about from the newspaper and I'll find two things.
Speaker: um I'm writing this down with an old fashioned pen and paper. i don't know if people use that anymore, but I do. Right. Because I'm Gen X and that's how I grew up.
Speaker: Absolutely. What was the assignment? See, you see,
Speaker: see see You have to be ADHD. Like there is, there is every little ADHD sort of flag is just going up in my head. Yeah. um Yeah. So, yeah. So just find two things that, that, that interest you and then we'll, we'll talk about them.
Speaker: um Love it. Yeah. That's, that's, that's neurodivergent in its, content So yeah, could be anything.
Speaker: Great. Under that very broad banner. um And also, um just I did realise that you'll need a sign-off at the end.
Speaker: like like So I have mine and Paul says, does he say? ah I beseech you um fare thee well.
Speaker: ah with with the gladness of heart or something oh so how poetic i know i know um so so you just need something to say at the end what do you say i feel like i've heard and then you have the whole boom um ra ra ah yeah so ah yeah oh yeah uh oh yeah yeah the pac-man yes oh
Speaker: i get Yeah, so I say my thing is is is be fucking kind to you to yourself, which is my thing, which, you know, like that's yeah that's that's the thing that, the yeah the you know, because, you know, we feel shame and guilt and all that kind of stuff. All these people like saying, what's wrong with you? And you're like, what's fucking wrong with me?
Speaker: um You know, and, you know, it's so that kind of like just being kind to yourself thing feels like just a nice reminder to myself and anyone else to just to just kind of give yourself some some slack.
Speaker: Yeah. um And then just to just to make it more, a little bit more me, i just i just swore, i just put us I just jammed a swear word in there. Yeah.
Speaker: It's effective. Yeah. Because it doesn't, it takes, it keeps it from being too saccharine, I think. Right. yeah Yes. I like the kind of slightly 10x angle on if you like. Yes.
Speaker: It's like um my friend who I met through meditation, which I i listened to your episode on that. Oh, blimey. I know. Maybe we can like talk about that at some point. Absolutely.
Speaker: um But she ah like send always sends me these funny things on Instagram from these meditation teachers who curse. And I love it. Oh, wow.
Speaker: Yeah, like because I can't relate to these people who are too like perfect and sweet. So I like a little swear word thrown in. i yeah. see its see i like i yoga session or a meditation session, should I say?
Speaker: you know, your guru is at the front with a with a with a glass of Jack Daniels and a yeah and and a cigarette. And a cigarette hanging out, yeah. All right, you fucking nonsense.
Speaker: meditating now otherwise i'll fucking stick you yeah yeah that's personally more my speed some people aren't into that but i like a little right a little swear word and drinking with my namaste namaste uh on on on ice Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Okay, so I'll think of i'll think of a sign-off. I don't have one for today. Is that okay? And don't want to rush it. That's fine. No, no, no. No, it's fine. I mean, it's just, I don't know.
Speaker: I did one, so Paul had one. And then he had one that was, it was very weird and very him. It was very esoteric. It was Scottish.
Speaker: Oh. And ah it kind of made no sense at all. Then at some point he realised that it wasn't really a thing. It was a made-up thing. so So then he had to change it. So, you know.
Speaker: So... so if it So if it doesn't work, you can just change it again. i'll just change it. Wait, he made it up. Like, what do you mean? It was a word he made up or a phrase? It was like a phrase. And, you know, I can't remember what it was because it was just very obscure.
Speaker: um It was like the the hounds and it was like it was, it felt like it was written by a Scottish monk in 573 AD.
Speaker: um and ah And I think he saw it online and copied and pasted it and used it. And then I think at some point he researched it and realized it it was a made up thing that made no sense. so he So he had to abandon it.
Speaker: All right. Nobody's perfect. Nobody's perfect. We just, you know, we just make it up as we go along. Exactly.
Speaker: Somewhat. All right. So that was this is this has been a fun fun little a intro, I feel. i I had a blast. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy.
Speaker: I'm just happy. I just feel happy right now. Awesome. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Well, all right. So it feels like going to be back next Tuesday. and when we have our homework.
Speaker: we do we do. um So next week we will be doing that. I will be reading out the post bag, which, which, which, which haven't done for about two weeks now. But so I'll be digging in into that.
Speaker: All right. So I think I'm just going to hit the, the outro button. there Oh, there we go. it's coming in. so I know right so that just leaves me to say ADHD village is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts please subscribe to the the best there we go that'll do just say these these are the best
Speaker: Why not? And feel free to correspond at Will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful, beautiful faces. Then sally forth to the YouTubes and the TikToks. um And you can also pick up a quill and email us at adhdville at gmail.com. But in the meantime, fucking kind to yourself.
Speaker: So that's your your outro is going to be sort of a wave. Oh, um, um, today I'll just go, nobody's perfect and it's okay. There we go.
Speaker: I like that. Now then, I press a button where it goes. There.
Speaker: And then, I'm just going wait because because the timing worked out. Yeah, exactly. I can just hit the ah the Pac-Man.
Speaker: And then we're gone.
Speaker: Where is it? Nope, I hit the wrong button. There it is.
