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Stay Sparked #22 - "Helpful Habits"
5 Plays2 years ago
Whether you like it or not, you are following habits. You can actively create helpful habits, or find yourself in harmful ones. When are you in a groove? When are you in a rut? We share our personal experiences with creating positive patterns in our lives. Plus tips and tricks for self-compassion and brain-rewiring. Enjoy the episode! (Thanks for making a habit of listening.)
LINKS:
"Atomic Habits" by James Clear
"Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" by Joe Dispenza
HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://JohnStyn.com
JANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind. (Use code "SPARKED" for 10% off)
http://www.nuworldnutritionals.com
MASSIVE Thank you to Dub Sutra for their beautiful opening music. Check out their incredible music catalogue online.
https://dubsutra.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Stay Sparked' and Hosts
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:04
Speaker
On this show, we explore how to stay inspired in the modern world through the most profound lessons from Burning Man, relationships, entrepreneurship, psychedelics, spirituality, travel, and more.
00:00:17
Speaker
On today's episode, we talked about habits, making good habits, how habits guide our lives, and whether we like it or not, we are following habits.
00:00:26
Speaker
We talk about how to rewire old habits and turn them into new habits.
00:00:31
Speaker
and how to become your biggest cheerleader and advocate so that if you happen to fall off the good habit train, you can get back on with minimal muscle fuss.
Hosts Share Personal Gratitudes
00:00:40
Speaker
Enjoy the episode.
00:00:42
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:44
Speaker
We are three friends here to share conversations, aim to inspire and light you up.
00:00:51
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening.
00:00:53
Speaker
If you've been enjoying these conversations, we absolutely appreciate you leaving us a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts.
00:01:00
Speaker
And please share the links to spread the sparks of inspiration.
00:01:04
Speaker
I'm Betsy.
00:01:05
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I'm Halcyon.
00:01:07
Speaker
And I am Giannis.
00:01:08
Speaker
I am a holistic healing arts practitioner in Southern California, and I also have a project called Power Affirmation, which is a journal and an online platform to help cultivate skills for sustainable happiness.
00:01:22
Speaker
I am a love ambassador and authenticity doula, helping people find their way through live broadcasts and coaching t-shirts and more.
00:01:32
Speaker
And I am the founder and CEO of New World Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company with mushroom-based products, all designed to improve your state of mind.
00:01:43
Speaker
So grateful to be here with you guys.
00:01:46
Speaker
Today we are going to start off with some gratitude as always.
00:01:50
Speaker
So how about Janus, what are you grateful for today?
00:01:55
Speaker
I am grateful today and all days for our garden here at our house.
00:02:02
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We have a pretty abundant garden that my landmates and I, mostly my landmates, tend to apply their green thumbs to and cultivate.
00:02:14
Speaker
And so every meal that we eat, we can pretty much go out there and get.
00:02:18
Speaker
herbs and lettuce and greens and tomatoes and depending on the time of year, like peppers and spices.
00:02:24
Speaker
We even have lemon grass out there and it's and we've got a new herb garden.
00:02:30
Speaker
So we've got a few different herbs going on and it's
00:02:33
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It's really nice.
00:02:34
Speaker
And I definitely am thankful every time I go out there and harvest a little bit or my partner goes out there and comes back with a fistful of like good stuff to add to a meal.
00:02:44
Speaker
It's we're we're eating, eating pretty good these days when we we make food at home.
00:02:48
Speaker
So it's nice to have access to that garden.
00:02:51
Speaker
It's, you know, not every in the heart of the city.
00:02:53
Speaker
Not many people have access to that.
00:02:55
Speaker
So it's it's I'm really feeling pretty grateful and blessed to have that.
00:03:00
Speaker
There's such a cool addition of energy when you know that it is coming from the land and you witness it and you harvest it.
00:03:07
Speaker
I got to make a meal off the land.
00:03:11
Speaker
I'll jump in with my gratitude because I'm grateful for some physical time I got to spend physical connection the last two weeks since we've been together, both in Hawaii and in Santa Cruz, both
00:03:24
Speaker
gatherings of human beings and in one of the places got to make food off the land with some duck eggs and some kale that was growing.
00:03:31
Speaker
And it was, I was surprised how much joy and energetic, like, wow, like this, I didn't, there was no intermediary grocery store.
00:03:42
Speaker
You know, there was, there was no trucks, there was no gas.
00:03:45
Speaker
It was just land to my gut.
00:03:47
Speaker
And I was like, wow, this feels awesome.
00:03:50
Speaker
And in addition to that, I want just that my gratitude is for the reminder of how important physical space sharing with fellow humans is, you know?
00:04:00
Speaker
And while I love connecting with you two in this digital way, it is different when you're in physical space and you're feeling someone's energy and you're
00:04:09
Speaker
the eye contact, you know, in close proximity and not even more so even than the hug is just the energetic feeling when you're next to someone and sharing deep emotions.
00:04:21
Speaker
It was just it was a beautiful reminder.
00:04:23
Speaker
And I'm so grateful that I had the opportunities to have those.
00:04:26
Speaker
Thanks.
00:04:28
Speaker
Amazing.
00:04:29
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I am just filled up with so many sparks of gratitude.
00:04:32
Speaker
Which one do I share?
00:04:34
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You both are inspiring me.
00:04:36
Speaker
So I'm going to share two, actually.
00:04:39
Speaker
So for our garden, we actually have roses blooming, really fragrant, very, very full and fragrant roses blooming.
00:04:47
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So that is
00:04:49
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definitely lighting me up every day.
00:04:52
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And I'll also share my gratitude for quality time with friends as well.
00:04:56
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I just got back from a few weeks in my other home, my home away from home in Asheville and got to have some really lengthy amounts of quality time.
00:05:06
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Whereas, you know, often when I visit with friends, it might be an hour here, a dinner there, a hike there.
00:05:12
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But since I was traveling, I actually got to spend, you know, a couple of nights with many different friends and having that really, um,
00:05:21
Speaker
length of time with somebody where you can have a dinner and then get to talk afterwards and go for walks and then have coffee in the morning.
00:05:28
Speaker
It's like, wow, that really brought such a deep level of intimacy and connection.
00:05:34
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And I got to, you know, see people in their elements and have sort of a peek into my, my friends' lives, which felt really nourishing and really absolutely inspiring.
00:05:44
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And I'm just really grateful for the people in my life.
00:05:47
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Nice.
00:05:48
Speaker
Yeah, nice.
00:05:50
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Nice.
00:05:50
Speaker
So it's cool to especially hope I hope I'm not giving away anything.
00:05:55
Speaker
But it's, you know, if it's something if it's a when we're considering moving to a place, it, it helps to be able to spend time and like feel what the flow with the daily flow is.
00:06:06
Speaker
there.
00:06:06
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Like, it's like, oh, so this is how it might be with like my friends or just like, you know, dropping in for coffee or hanging out for, you know, a lengthy day and stuff like that.
00:06:15
Speaker
So it's, it's good to kind of have that insight into a place before you get there.
00:06:19
Speaker
Yes, absolutely.
00:06:21
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And you know, I'll actually weave in a little piece of our topic today.
Discussion on Habits and Their Impact
00:06:25
Speaker
getting to be witness to some people in my life's their habits, you know, like getting to stay with somebody in their home, you start to see what their natural habitat is like, how they do life and these different things that, you know, be either bring inspiration or maybe a little like contrast.
00:06:45
Speaker
So today we actually wanted to share about habits and what are our healthy habits?
00:06:50
Speaker
What are our unhealthy habits?
00:06:52
Speaker
How do we change habits?
00:06:55
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And this is a really important conversation because our habits really make up who we are and how we do life.
00:07:02
Speaker
And so, so much to unpack in this conversation.
00:07:05
Speaker
I'm excited to hear what comes through this
00:07:08
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this conversation with you guys.
00:07:10
Speaker
And so I actually, I think I'm feeling inspired to kind of spark us off.
00:07:17
Speaker
If you guys are okay with that.
00:07:20
Speaker
So one of the things that I find really fascinating is how do we maintain healthy habits when we're on the go or when we're out of our natural environment, right?
00:07:31
Speaker
I just got back from a few weeks ago
00:07:34
Speaker
Halcyon, you just got back from a few weeks away.
00:07:36
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Yanus, I think you're about to go traveling.
00:07:39
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When we're at home, it's one thing to maintain, whether that's a meditation, habit, practice, hydration.
00:07:47
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So Halcyon, would you like to speak to that?
00:07:51
Speaker
Sure.
00:07:52
Speaker
I mean, it's interesting because...
00:07:55
Speaker
I didn't do it consciously, but what I ended up doing was kind of establishing which are the habits that are my absolute no-break, no-compromise habits, and which are the things like, yeah, I'm in a different space, and so I'm going to allow myself to have different habits.
00:08:13
Speaker
And so I did not maintain my morning routine that I do at home.
00:08:18
Speaker
I did not have the consistency of time zone or a sleep pattern.
00:08:22
Speaker
And so I did not keep up with my morning habit and my morning routine.
00:08:29
Speaker
To the point where I started to crave, you know, a little bit of consistency so I could get back into it because it does has provided me so much grounding.
00:08:38
Speaker
But there were certain things that like, you know, certain eating habits or not drinking habits that I have, which are just absolutely no...
00:08:47
Speaker
no amount of new environment was going to let me change that.
00:08:50
Speaker
Um, you know, I tried to do, like I've got a habit of, of pushups.
00:08:57
Speaker
You know, I didn't do it with the same enthusiasm or consistency, but I tried to make sure that I could keep it up enough so that it stayed a part of, of who I was.
00:09:07
Speaker
But, but also I think that a part of, for me at least was trying to find that, uh, sweet spot of,
00:09:16
Speaker
how much do I want to let go since I am in a new environment?
00:09:19
Speaker
Am I allowed to be somebody different in this environment?
00:09:21
Speaker
And generally my attitude was, yes, I can let myself sink into this experience.
00:09:27
Speaker
I can eat a little differently.
00:09:28
Speaker
And some of that is because I'm surrounded by people, as you mentioned, that have habits that I appreciated.
00:09:36
Speaker
So I could let go of my own habits and kind of let the flow
00:09:40
Speaker
work and trust that as long as I kept hard and solid to the ones that were, you know, no compromise ones for me, I could trust that, uh, it would all work out.
00:09:48
Speaker
Cool.
00:09:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:50
Speaker
Um, yeah.
00:09:51
Speaker
And speaking to that, it's for me, the, the idea of, you know, like maintaining habits, you know, despite like our environment and such for me, I've got like categories of habits and like my number one, like you could almost maybe even call it like a pyramid, like my top,
00:10:10
Speaker
concern of importance for me, especially as I've, it's kind of always been this way, I will say, but definitely as I've gotten older, I've been made aware of, it kind of comes down to my habits around my health, my physical health, my mental health.
00:10:23
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Because if, if you're, if I'm not right in that area, it permeates throughout my life.
00:10:29
Speaker
And I think that's kind of true for everybody.
00:10:31
Speaker
So, so the habits I really strongly am focused on maintaining are the ones pertaining to, you know,
00:10:39
Speaker
my physical health you know trying to stay active and trying to pay attention to what i'm putting in my body and then mental health um which you know entails like habits i can feel good about doing like you know keeping like the habit of keeping my place clean or the habit of just you know making sure that you know my my all my stuff is in working order
00:11:02
Speaker
And I'm connecting with my friends like, you know, doing this, doing this podcast has been a habit that we have cultivated this year, the beginning of this year.
00:11:11
Speaker
And the fact that we're doing it like every week for, I mean, for most of this year.
00:11:18
Speaker
And it's been a great way to start the week for me.
00:11:20
Speaker
And so it feels that feels like a productive, you know, habit.
00:11:24
Speaker
It's an endeavor, but it's also like a habit because it definitely, you know, my life is kind of my day is based around that.
00:11:30
Speaker
or, you know, starting this off in my week.
00:11:32
Speaker
So, so that's, so there's like a hierarchy of habits for me.
00:11:36
Speaker
And that's, so those two things, my health, overall health is at the top of that.
00:11:42
Speaker
I absolutely relate to that.
00:11:44
Speaker
Yep.
00:11:45
Speaker
And also what you said around morning practice too, you know, my morning practice and my health, uh, healthy habits really do impact the rest of my life.
00:11:55
Speaker
And so coming off of, you know, being away for three weeks and not being in my natural environment and just being able to compromise certain habits that I'm used to,
00:12:06
Speaker
I'm really grateful because I found a couple of practices that helped me to stay on track with those habits that keep me healthy.
00:12:14
Speaker
Because the old me would just totally bypass all of my healthy habits or my practices that I was aspiring to do because they weren't really solid habits back then.
00:12:26
Speaker
And then I would come home from a trip and I would feel exhausted and I would get sick and I would need all this time to recover.
00:12:32
Speaker
And now I've gotten to a place where some of these simple things like the, um, one of my favorite habits that has, um, taken some time to really get in there is something I don't really, it doesn't really waver is a morning tonic of some kind, whether that is lemon and apple cider vinegar or, um, GSE, which is grapefruit seed extract.
00:12:55
Speaker
Um, that one's really great for the morning and mix in some water or I'll do like chlorophyll drops.
00:13:01
Speaker
Um, and so, um,
00:13:02
Speaker
I brought those with me on my trip and I, I did it almost every single morning, which was really felt so good and so simple and I'm feeling great.
00:13:13
Speaker
I feel healthy.
00:13:14
Speaker
I feel energized.
00:13:15
Speaker
And you know, when we're moving and going, sometimes it's a lot of output.
00:13:20
Speaker
And so taking care of health is first and foremost.
00:13:24
Speaker
And so, yeah, finding, um, for me, especially to the, um,
00:13:29
Speaker
Like that's the first thing I think of when I get up in the morning.
00:13:32
Speaker
Okay, hydrate.
00:13:32
Speaker
Because, you know, sometimes it's like, oh, coffee.
00:13:36
Speaker
Wait a second.
00:13:36
Speaker
Let me balance my pH first.
00:13:40
Speaker
Get my body hydrated and then I can have some coffee.
00:13:43
Speaker
I'm really grateful for that habit that has taken a long time to get to be just anchored in there.
00:13:51
Speaker
I used to be so adverse to the idea of habits.
00:13:56
Speaker
It felt like the whole concept of habits was how to like regiment your life to make things happen.
00:14:03
Speaker
You know, like, like I'm not going to join the army and just like be a robot.
00:14:07
Speaker
I said this kind of feeling that, that that's how I associated forcing myself to do things.
00:14:13
Speaker
And, you know, as I've grown and recognized that you have habits, whether you intentionally set them or not, um,
00:14:19
Speaker
so um and so the the the younger version of my like float more steer less allow things to happen has kind of matured into a recognition that there's different voices in me and different um motivations inside me and that if i just listen to the what feels right in the moment
00:14:41
Speaker
then I am denying the higher wisdom of myself.
00:14:46
Speaker
Like I try to visualize or imagine the feeling of the right now me and what it wants, which is like my ego and the higher version of myself, my superego, and that I need to tune in and let my superego establish what the habits that I want to be doing so that my right now me ego can't decide.
00:15:09
Speaker
Because in the morning,
00:15:11
Speaker
Guess what right now me wants to do?
00:15:13
Speaker
Keep sleeping.
00:15:14
Speaker
Guess what right now me wants to do?
00:15:16
Speaker
Not meditate.
00:15:17
Speaker
Right now me wants to, you know, does not want to go for a walk every morning.
00:15:21
Speaker
And so I have to kind of bow to hire me and recognize that habits actually are, even though it feels like a form of constriction or a impeding of the freedom to do whatever I want, it is actually through that discipline that I get to access the true freedom
00:15:41
Speaker
of being the person that I want to be.
00:15:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:43
Speaker
Um, yeah.
00:15:44
Speaker
And that's such a, that touches on, you know, the idea of like, okay, so who, who do I want to be?
00:15:49
Speaker
And this is, um, an idea that, um, came to me last year, late last year that I've been incorporating and it does work.
00:15:58
Speaker
And, and,
00:15:59
Speaker
It's important to find like whatever practice like works for us in order to establish, you know, positive habits, healthy habits in all areas of our life.
00:16:08
Speaker
So we all and we will I would like to hear what everybody has to say about this.
00:16:11
Speaker
I also need to share a little bit of that just now.
00:16:14
Speaker
But what a question for myself that I've asked is, you know, goes back to the idea of the, you know, the four agreements, you know, one of them being always, always do your best with the realization that our best is going to change from day to day.
00:16:28
Speaker
But or and so the question for myself is, what is the best?
00:16:34
Speaker
What would the best version of me do right now?
00:16:38
Speaker
What was the best version of how does the best version of me start their day?
00:16:43
Speaker
How does you know how does how does the person I'm striving to become or I want to be?
00:16:48
Speaker
What does that person eat for lunch?
00:16:50
Speaker
What does that person, what time does that person go to bed?
00:16:52
Speaker
I mean, all this, a whole list of questions and, you know, kind of even writing that out and being like, okay, so who, the person I want to be does this.
00:17:01
Speaker
And it was easy for me to be like, once I had that list kind of in front of me, it's like, oh, I can, I can do that.
00:17:07
Speaker
And it felt crazy.
00:17:10
Speaker
It felt good for me to be like, oh, yeah, the person I want to be goes to bed at this time of day.
00:17:14
Speaker
It's like, all right, and do that.
00:17:16
Speaker
And to see yourself kind of living and becoming like that version of yourself, it just kind of inspired me to keep it going.
00:17:24
Speaker
So that's one practice that I've been able to do to really kind of sink some of these positive habits in.
00:17:32
Speaker
And there's always room for improvement and there's always ebb and flow with that.
00:17:37
Speaker
But it feels good to be moving on that track.
00:17:39
Speaker
you know being the person like it's not some far off thing this person i want to be is like some far off goals like no i can i can actually be that person today um just you know embody that and it's been uh it's been a good practice for me this year i love that so much yes so true i know the question that kind of moves through me that is similar to that is who do i need to be in order to become
00:18:05
Speaker
Right, whatever it might be.
00:18:06
Speaker
And then also just in the contemplation around what are some habits that some of my role models embody?
00:18:15
Speaker
What are the healthy habits of CEOs?
00:18:18
Speaker
Or what are healthy habits of some of the most joyful people that I know?
00:18:23
Speaker
Right.
Inspiration from Role Models and Changing Habits
00:18:24
Speaker
How can I start to get inspired by some of those simple things that make up the day, the day to day of these types of people, right?
00:18:32
Speaker
Who do I want to be?
00:18:33
Speaker
All right.
00:18:33
Speaker
Is that somebody who is spending a lot of time scrolling?
00:18:37
Speaker
Probably not like that doesn't actually contribute to who I want to be and who I'm becoming.
00:18:43
Speaker
And so using that as an inspiration to like just aspirations to grow and evolve and align and feel really good.
00:18:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:52
Speaker
That, that, that idea of, of the person that you want to be as the motivator, I think is so strong and it can be really tempting to be motivated to be, you know, moving away from the person you don't want to be, you know, trying to, you know, stop being unhealthy, you know, like, well, as opposed to, you
00:19:12
Speaker
wanting to be the healthy version of yourself.
00:19:14
Speaker
I know for myself, I've been, I'm on this chapter right now where I have removed the habits of intoxication that have been a part of my life for many, many years.
00:19:25
Speaker
And, you know, people have been asking me like, you know, are you tempted or is it been hard?
00:19:30
Speaker
And I'm like, well, not really.
00:19:32
Speaker
You know, like I have written real big on my wall, what's at stake?
00:19:37
Speaker
And realizing my potential.
00:19:40
Speaker
And it's like, okay, if I go back to that, it's a really easy choice.
00:19:45
Speaker
You know, it's, it's, but it is, it goes back to habits.
00:19:48
Speaker
So like, I reckon I have maybe an instinctive feeling, oh, sun is setting, this would be a nice time to have a cocktail or something like that.
00:19:57
Speaker
And go, oh, okay, but
00:20:00
Speaker
That's the feeling I'm having.
00:20:01
Speaker
That's the habit that or the brain pathway that has been well-worn, but it does not lead to the person that I want to be.
00:20:11
Speaker
And that the person I want to be is that is the there is no greater victory.
00:20:18
Speaker
than becoming the person that you know is your potential.
00:20:22
Speaker
That is the ultimate adventure and journey of our lifetime.
00:20:25
Speaker
And we can go on side journeys and there's nothing wrong.
00:20:27
Speaker
I don't feel guilt or shame about the other pathways and what I learned there.
00:20:33
Speaker
But if I look at what's at stake, it's a much easier decision to make the new pathway.
00:20:41
Speaker
I love that too.
00:20:43
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like what you spoke to is these associations.
00:20:47
Speaker
that we have, right?
00:20:48
Speaker
Having that habit pattern that you created over many years of seeing the sunset and associating it to having a cocktail, right?
00:20:58
Speaker
Where some people maybe have an association to seeing the sunset and doing a sun salutation.
00:21:04
Speaker
right?
00:21:04
Speaker
A yogi, for example, or I know somebody who does a sunset meditation every single day, but he's been doing that for a long, long time and it's an association, right?
00:21:13
Speaker
So how do we, how do we start to rewire our associations to certain things?
00:21:20
Speaker
One of the things I love playing with is habit stacking to create new habits, which we've talked about this on many different episodes.
00:21:27
Speaker
The habit stacking is the concept from Atomic Habits, the book.
00:21:32
Speaker
And so it's basically seeing like, okay, say we'll use the sunset.
00:21:36
Speaker
If it is already a habit that you love watching the sunset, it's something that you do naturally.
00:21:41
Speaker
It's not something that you have to really try to
00:21:43
Speaker
get into your practice, it's already existing, then tacking something on top of it that you want to start doing more of, right?
00:21:51
Speaker
And so if you're wanting to do more meditation, like, oh, sunset.
00:21:55
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:21:56
Speaker
This is where I get to meditate even just for a minute.
00:22:00
Speaker
And then you start to see it grow, right?
00:22:02
Speaker
Or for the work that I do with affirmations, I love teaching people how to start implementing affirmations and mindset work
00:22:10
Speaker
into already existing habits.
00:22:12
Speaker
So one of the women in my virtual group, she started doing affirmations while her coffee was brewing.
00:22:19
Speaker
She always is going to brew coffee, right?
00:22:21
Speaker
So she put a little sticky note on her coffee maker to remind her to say her affirmations.
00:22:26
Speaker
And she'd sit there and
00:22:28
Speaker
coffee's brewing.
00:22:29
Speaker
I am love.
00:22:30
Speaker
I am loving.
00:22:31
Speaker
I am lovable.
00:22:32
Speaker
Everything is okay.
00:22:34
Speaker
I am safe, right?
00:22:35
Speaker
Whatever her affirmations were.
00:22:36
Speaker
And now she doesn't even have to put the sticky note on her coffee maker.
00:22:40
Speaker
Every time she goes to make coffee, she
00:22:43
Speaker
it's in there it's programmed it's a reminder whether that's making coffee or making your bed or doing these things right so we stack on certain things that's really i love that concept i feel like it's worked in my life and i've seen it work in so many people's lives i love that you said um even for just a minute you know i think that's another thing that's really important too that and that
00:23:08
Speaker
You know, as I returned to my normal environment after traveling, I this morning, I was like, OK, morning walk, get the sunshine in my eyes.
00:23:20
Speaker
Well, and I before I'd been traveling, I've been jogging every morning and I just was like, I'm not up for a jog today.
00:23:27
Speaker
like just walk just walk and then first i'm like just walk a little bit and like and then as i'm walking like you know i'm just gonna walk the normal distance that i jog and then as i'm walking like you know what let's just jog on the way back and so you know by the time i got home i'm like okay that was a lot more than i signed up for but i wouldn't have done it if i said you gotta jog today you know so it's giving yourself permission to do it a little bit
00:23:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:52
Speaker
And it goes back to the idea of like 90% of success is just showing up.
00:23:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:56
Speaker
Like there's been so many times where I've, I've either gone to yoga class or gone to workout.
00:24:03
Speaker
I absolutely do not want to do it.
00:24:06
Speaker
Like, I'm just like, no, no, I'm not going to do it.
00:24:10
Speaker
And I just kind of talk myself and I almost know that I'm what I'm doing as I'm doing it.
00:24:14
Speaker
But I'm just like,
00:24:15
Speaker
just get to the gym.
00:24:16
Speaker
You can ride the bike for 10 minutes and then you can bounce if you really want to bounce, but you know, get, you just get there.
00:24:23
Speaker
And then those have been some, like of all the workouts I've had, I have memorable workouts where I just dragged myself to the gym and be like, I'm like, all right, 10 minutes on the bike.
00:24:32
Speaker
That's all I'm going to do.
00:24:33
Speaker
And by the time 10 minutes, like, all right, I can do some crunches, you know what I'm saying?
00:24:37
Speaker
So do some crunches.
00:24:37
Speaker
And then by the, you know, I'm hour and a half later, I've gotten it
00:24:40
Speaker
kick ass workout and I'm just walking on sunshine, come out gym and you just, you just get there.
00:24:46
Speaker
Just, just do that.
00:24:48
Speaker
And, uh, real quick talking, you know, you guys have both referred to, you know, the idea of like putting affirmations around.
00:24:55
Speaker
It's really important when trying to attempt to develop a positive habit or a productive habit.
00:25:04
Speaker
You have to address your environment.
00:25:07
Speaker
And sometimes that can look like affirmations on the coffee maker.
00:25:13
Speaker
And the idea of habit stacking is...
00:25:16
Speaker
is it doesn't necessarily have to be a positive habit.
00:25:18
Speaker
It just has to be something you can be aligned with something that you just have to do.
00:25:21
Speaker
Like, for example, I think I may have mentioned this before, but I used to have a sticky notes next to the cat box.
00:25:28
Speaker
And so, which has to be scooped like a couple of times a day.
00:25:31
Speaker
And so I've gotten it to the point where that sticky notes not there anymore, but when I'm scooping, I automatically go to the thought of, you know, just a positive thought as I'm scooping poop out of this, you know, litter box.
00:25:42
Speaker
Um,
00:25:43
Speaker
Everything's awesome, whatever the thought is.
00:25:46
Speaker
It's interesting how you can program yourself with that.
00:25:49
Speaker
The sticky note thing, the affirmation thing is a great way to change your environment.
00:25:54
Speaker
Another way that it can be a little more challenging, especially with House Inn being on the sober tip these days.
00:26:03
Speaker
You have to kind of look, you know, it's the first rule of therapy.
00:26:06
Speaker
Like, you know, before you decide that you're depressed, just make sure you're not hanging out with a bunch of jerks.
00:26:12
Speaker
First of all, so it's like, okay, so you might have to, so if somebody is looking to develop, okay, I need to drink less.
00:26:18
Speaker
Okay, you need to change your environment.
00:26:21
Speaker
Maybe don't go to the bars anymore.
00:26:23
Speaker
Go to the bars one day less.
00:26:26
Speaker
Or conversely, stop bringing alcohol home.
00:26:28
Speaker
So the only time you drink is when you're out.
00:26:30
Speaker
So it can look a lot of different ways to a lot of different, a lot of different people, but addressing your environment because trying to create a new habit, positive habit without making like a physical change and like your activity, like where you go or what your house looks like, it can be, you know, you're kind of setting yourself up for failure.
00:26:48
Speaker
So you have to definitely address your environment and, you know, make sure that you're setting yourself up for success, essentially.
00:26:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:59
Speaker
And you don't want to be testing yourself constantly.
00:27:01
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:27:02
Speaker
Like the thing about if you like one of my things I'm still struggling with is food and eating healthy.
00:27:08
Speaker
And occasionally I will just, you know, eat to being way too full.
00:27:13
Speaker
And it's so luckily I'm pretty good at keeping my house full of healthy foods.
00:27:17
Speaker
So when I binge to excess, it's on like walnuts and, you know, almonds.
00:27:21
Speaker
And, you know, so I'm like, okay, well, I feel sick, but at least my body's like, that's too much of a good thing.
00:27:26
Speaker
But, you know,
00:27:29
Speaker
the thing that I'm aware of is that I can be on track 99.9% of the day and then
00:27:36
Speaker
lose my input.
00:27:38
Speaker
I lose one battle with my will and now I'm full of food.
00:27:42
Speaker
And so if, if during that one battle, if I had a bunch of chocolate around, I would have lost that battle with chocolate, you know?
00:27:49
Speaker
And so the same is true with, with any environment, whether that is, you know, the alcohol you have around or the bad food or, or, you know, it's anytime you can make it easier for yourself so that you can not have the battle, the better.
00:28:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:02
Speaker
And how do we change the unhealthy habits?
00:28:05
Speaker
Right.
00:28:05
Speaker
It's like, I think so far we've been talking about how to build and cultivate healthy habits.
00:28:10
Speaker
Also, how do we rewire, you know, getting rid of something like an addiction, for example, you know, that's, that can be very deeply embedded into our, our lives and to rewire our neural pathways to start choosing different habits.
00:28:26
Speaker
It takes some time.
00:28:27
Speaker
It takes some effort.
00:28:28
Speaker
You know, Joe Dispenza talks a lot about changing beliefs and he uses this metaphor of when we are trying to forge a new path, it, it takes maybe pulling out that machete and cutting down this bush to be able to create a new path.
00:28:45
Speaker
Whereas this other path we've been walking on over and over and over and over again.
00:28:51
Speaker
brain and our neuroplasticity, you know, it makes it very easy to do these other things because they're strengthened, right?
00:28:57
Speaker
And to create the new path, it takes effort, it takes time, it takes commitment, it takes conviction, it takes reminders, it's a lot.
00:29:06
Speaker
And so, yeah, rewiring our lives, our brains, our practices, our habits to be able to choose differently and new things that will help us to thrive.
00:29:19
Speaker
I think that that awareness can be super helpful when you're going to make the new decisions because when you recognize that's the way the brain works you can know that oh I already have a path that's beat in this direction and you can go
00:29:35
Speaker
whatever good choice I make today, I'm beating a path that is gonna be easier tomorrow.
00:29:42
Speaker
So whatever effort I put in today to make the hard decision makes tomorrow's decision easier.
00:29:48
Speaker
So you're almost like investing in yourself.
00:29:51
Speaker
You're giving a gift to tomorrow you.
00:29:53
Speaker
So you know what, hey, tomorrow you, I'm gonna make tomorrow's jog easier by jogging today.
00:29:58
Speaker
So you're welcome.
00:29:59
Speaker
Yes, I love that.
00:30:00
Speaker
I do that sometimes too.
00:30:01
Speaker
Like I like kind of pat myself on the back and say, hey, thanks past self.
00:30:06
Speaker
You really set my presence up.
00:30:08
Speaker
And then I'm like, okay, think about, okay, I'm going to like actually, here's a habit I've gotten into.
00:30:13
Speaker
Clean my space before I go travel as a gift to my future self.
00:30:18
Speaker
So when I come home, it's like, oh, it feels so good.
00:30:22
Speaker
And they're like, oh yeah, okay.
00:30:23
Speaker
Setting ourselves up for success.
00:30:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:27
Speaker
And you know, and the thing I do around that is to make sure like all the dishes in the sink are clean before I go to sleep or just whatever mess has been made in the house, clean it up, or at least like make sure everything's kind of in its place.
00:30:42
Speaker
And when I wake up in the morning, it's just, I barely even notice it sometimes.
00:30:46
Speaker
I'm sometimes I really notice it.
00:30:48
Speaker
I more notice it when I don't do that.
00:30:50
Speaker
And so I wake up and just like, Oh, it's like, I just, now I got to like
00:30:54
Speaker
do dishes or not gonna like whatever so but i that's rare because i i have a habit of taking care of all that stuff before i'm done for the day before i go down for the night so um and regarding you know what you're like saying with dr joe dispensa um it can kind of sound like a lot but the the idea is just we we have to in order for you to create
00:31:19
Speaker
like a new habit, you've got to do something like you've got to make a change.
00:31:24
Speaker
You got to do something different in order to establish a new way of thinking.
00:31:27
Speaker
You have to essentially, it's called a pattern interrupt.
00:31:30
Speaker
You've got to break the pattern.
00:31:32
Speaker
So if you're not, so in order to, to,
00:31:36
Speaker
like create any kind of new habit, doing something different.
00:31:39
Speaker
And it can be as simple as walking around the block or trying, trying a new food, like something you have to introduce something new into your experience and that will help you.
00:31:50
Speaker
It can be something unrelated to the habit, but just doing something new allows your brain to start thinking about something about, you know, something different or thinking about the same things in a different way.
00:32:01
Speaker
Introducing something new into your life is a sure way to kind of be like, okay, so now I can try this other unrelated habit, but you're essentially breaking your patterns.
00:32:10
Speaker
Introducing something new into your life will help that.
00:32:14
Speaker
Yeah, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself is the title of Joe Dispenza's book.
00:32:20
Speaker
So fascinating.
00:32:21
Speaker
It's so true.
00:32:22
Speaker
Continuously reinventing ourselves.
00:32:25
Speaker
I feel like that that's something I'm dedicated to and devoted to, even through like changing habits of clothing that I choose to wear.
00:32:33
Speaker
Right.
00:32:33
Speaker
If I get into a habit of wearing like yoga pants all the time, then I start to notice that I'm like kind of locking myself into this identity.
00:32:42
Speaker
And so then I go, okay, I'm going to start a new habit of wearing more flowy pants.
00:32:46
Speaker
You know, then I'm like, oh, that feels like a nice way to walk differently, to move differently, to feel differently.
00:32:52
Speaker
These subtle shifts to make our lives change and feel like that there is this evolution at hand and not getting locked into
00:33:02
Speaker
believing that I'm always going to be in this the same way.
00:33:07
Speaker
This is so significant.
00:33:08
Speaker
I think, especially as, as we start to grow older, you know, you get deeper and deeper into the patterns that your brain has been
Routines, Risks, and Personal Growth
00:33:18
Speaker
doing things.
00:33:18
Speaker
And something that I just became aware of very recently is how much more risk adverse I am and how much more attached to comfort I am.
00:33:27
Speaker
And I look back at like, if I was given the opportunity to go to Burning Man this year for the first time, I would probably say no.
00:33:35
Speaker
And I'm like, holy crap, what has happened to me in the last 25 years?
00:33:39
Speaker
It's like, oh, well, I have developed these patterns.
00:33:42
Speaker
I have attachments to what I know and what is comfortable.
00:33:46
Speaker
And, you know, intellectually, you know, all growth is on the other side of your comfort zone.
00:33:51
Speaker
But you really have to actively be aware that you are in a groove and actively change your clothing, change your habits, pattern interrupt.
00:33:59
Speaker
And
00:34:00
Speaker
and I think it's really helpful to know what's going on in your brain, to know that you're fighting the tide and you're fighting against that groove so that when you're making new habits, you can kind of root yourself on and use whatever techniques and tactics and sticky notes and accountability, whatever you can to go.
00:34:16
Speaker
This is, this is harder now than it was 10 years ago.
00:34:19
Speaker
This is going to be harder tomorrow.
00:34:21
Speaker
So let's charge.
00:34:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:25
Speaker
Well, and you know,
00:34:28
Speaker
It's it's a it's a way to it's a it's a way to frame our current perspective, like.
00:34:36
Speaker
Realizing like you are never going to be younger than you are today.
00:34:41
Speaker
You are never going to have, and it's true in many cases, like you're never going to have more energy than you are, than you have right now.
00:34:49
Speaker
Um, you know, just, you know, getting older and it's like, there's like some inevitable kind of changes that you, you have to make.
00:34:55
Speaker
So it's easy to like, I look, I think we can all look back at our lives and endeavors that we undertook that were awesome.
00:35:03
Speaker
That if we were told at the time, like how much work it was going to be, um,
00:35:07
Speaker
We're like, oh, I would never have started that.
00:35:10
Speaker
I would never have undertaken that endeavor.
00:35:13
Speaker
But the vigor of youth will get you there like, I'm doing it.
00:35:16
Speaker
That's going to be awesome.
00:35:17
Speaker
And you can do that.
00:35:18
Speaker
And as you get older, you kind of know a little bit more going in.
00:35:21
Speaker
How much work is it going to be?
00:35:22
Speaker
So it's like, yeah, maybe not.
00:35:25
Speaker
Maybe I'm not that go, go, go person anymore.
00:35:29
Speaker
So it can be tricky.
00:35:31
Speaker
um to to undertake that that you know those incorporate some new habits uh into what helston's saying it's a fine line between a groove and a rut so it's important to groove groove to me feels you know more positive but sometimes we're in a rut and it kind of we can kind of tell ourselves it's we're in a groove but it's like no it's like how how how empowering is this how
00:35:56
Speaker
Is this really like the best version of myself that I can be?
00:36:00
Speaker
And so it's super easy.
00:36:01
Speaker
And we don't, you know, don't beat yourself.
00:36:03
Speaker
We shouldn't beat ourselves up for that.
00:36:05
Speaker
But the first step with anything is awareness.
00:36:08
Speaker
It's like, okay, I'm not, this is not really serving me.
00:36:12
Speaker
It's not serving my partner.
00:36:13
Speaker
It's not serving the life, my life, you know, the kind of experience I want to have in this world.
00:36:18
Speaker
So, all right, awareness is step one.
00:36:20
Speaker
Now, how do I do that?
00:36:21
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:36:23
Speaker
I love the question that I have on a little sticky note that helps me a lot is, is there anything getting in the way of being the highest version of myself?
00:36:33
Speaker
And then that gives me an opportunity to take a look at how I'm, how I'm doing life.
00:36:38
Speaker
And so one of the ones, one of the habits that I struggle with that I think maybe a lot of people do is the connection to the phone.
00:36:49
Speaker
especially before bed, because I have noticed that sometimes I'll just like grab my phone and I'll look through my photos from that day or I'll check messages or I'll go on Instagram or I'll, you know, do some things on the screen.
00:37:02
Speaker
And I know that that is not healthy for my my brain, that blue light or like just this, you know, energy of being on the phone before bed.
00:37:12
Speaker
I know that's not something that supports my highest version of myself.
00:37:16
Speaker
And so I'm always working on different ways to kind of trick myself out of that habit.
00:37:23
Speaker
And one of the things that has been really helpful for me, and I'm hoping that this is starting to really create some new grooves.
00:37:31
Speaker
It's starting to.
00:37:33
Speaker
I just started putting an instrument next to my bed.
00:37:37
Speaker
It's a little hand piano.
00:37:39
Speaker
It's called a sansala or kalimba.
00:37:44
Speaker
And something happens when we play an instrument in our brains, right?
00:37:48
Speaker
There's new ways of seeing things and feeling things.
00:37:52
Speaker
And so I put it right next to my bed, right by where my phone gets plugged in.
00:37:57
Speaker
So then that way I like go to get myself all ready for bed.
00:38:02
Speaker
And then I see the instrument there and I'm reminded, Hey, like grab this instrument instead of the phone.
00:38:08
Speaker
And that's been helpful.
00:38:10
Speaker
I say, I'm, I'm getting there.
00:38:12
Speaker
I'd say I'm,
00:38:13
Speaker
you know, maybe four days a week been remembering to do that.
00:38:16
Speaker
And hopefully I'll be getting to more days a week.
00:38:20
Speaker
And sometimes I give myself a little leniency if I want to be catching up on social media and that sort of thing before bed.
00:38:27
Speaker
And then also the same thing, I kind of trick myself in the morning as well.
00:38:31
Speaker
I put something next to my phone right before I go to bed.
00:38:35
Speaker
So that way it's not my tendency or habit to just grab the phone and just
00:38:40
Speaker
jump right into messaging, jump right into emailing, checking, like going into the news or the weather or whatever it is, taking a moment to actually play my instrument or I put an affirmation next to my phone or I put something there to kind of like remind me like, Hey, don't grab your phone right away.
00:39:00
Speaker
You both touched on not beating yourself up and having leniency.
00:39:06
Speaker
I think that's a huge thing to remember, too, that this idea of self-observation without judgment is how you want to be moving through this.
00:39:17
Speaker
And that there's no additional benefit to beating yourself up.
00:39:21
Speaker
If you notice yourself doing something that you don't like.
00:39:24
Speaker
So you can just, ah, um, I was practicing that this weekend.
00:39:28
Speaker
I, I bought some, uh, Reese's pieces and I bought a big one, you know, cause that would last me for several days.
00:39:36
Speaker
And then I ate it all at once.
00:39:38
Speaker
And, you know, and, and I started to go, man, what?
00:39:42
Speaker
And then I just went, wait, ah, I ate a whole thing of Reese's pieces.
00:39:48
Speaker
So now I know that's not what I want to do.
00:39:51
Speaker
And over time, the continual observation without judgment, I have faith that that will lead to better decisions.
00:39:57
Speaker
But feeling like I'm an idiot, I can't believe I fucking did that, is not going to motivate me to do better next time.
00:40:05
Speaker
And then you're swallowing guilt.
00:40:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:07
Speaker
And it goes, you know, that I come back to the, the, uh, you know, meditation practice begin again, begin again, begin again.
00:40:15
Speaker
All right.
00:40:16
Speaker
Now it's, I'm my, I'm having presence often.
00:40:20
Speaker
It's just fresh start right now.
00:40:21
Speaker
Oh, fresh start right now.
00:40:23
Speaker
So if I, if I messed up yesterday, begin again, now don't, don't bring the judgment with you.
00:40:28
Speaker
Just begin again.
00:40:30
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:40:31
Speaker
Because we want to just keep showing up to build these habits, right?
00:40:34
Speaker
Because if we get into a place of
00:40:36
Speaker
self-criticism, self-judgment, right?
00:40:38
Speaker
It's like, oh man, I shouldn't have done that.
00:40:40
Speaker
Then it's like, I'm just not motivated to actually keep showing up in the best way.
00:40:44
Speaker
Compassion and consistency and just, yeah, start again, start again.
00:40:52
Speaker
Here we go, here we grow.
00:40:53
Speaker
Just keep coming back to the intention of whatever that habit that is forming and staying consistent, I think is a really important part of it too.
00:41:03
Speaker
And what you're both kind of speaking to is another habit worth cultivating.
00:41:09
Speaker
It's one of the, I believe, again, any positive habit around your health
00:41:15
Speaker
is paramount.
00:41:16
Speaker
But right alongside of that is the habit of being your, your biggest cheerleader of being your biggest advocate.
00:41:25
Speaker
The idea, cause really as, as, as awesome.
00:41:28
Speaker
And as this, as this world is, and our community is the universe doesn't care
Self-Compassion and Positive Mindset
00:41:35
Speaker
what you do.
00:41:35
Speaker
It's like, okay, if you want to sit or you want to sit in the corner and like eat bonbons all night, that's fine.
00:41:41
Speaker
You know, nobody's, nobody's going to judge you because really nobody cares.
00:41:44
Speaker
So,
00:41:45
Speaker
you have to be your biggest advocate.
00:41:47
Speaker
You have to be your biggest cheerleader.
00:41:48
Speaker
And when we slip, you have to be the person to be like, you know, that's fine.
00:41:54
Speaker
You slipped.
00:41:54
Speaker
Tomorrow's another day.
00:41:55
Speaker
Begin again.
00:41:56
Speaker
And the idea that every day, every sunrise is another opportunity to begin again.
00:42:02
Speaker
It's like you could start over from that point.
00:42:05
Speaker
And having that belief and that mindset has helped me a lot in many ways throughout the years.
00:42:12
Speaker
So, and also the idea of
00:42:15
Speaker
uh, conscious, how do I, how would I phrase this?
00:42:18
Speaker
Conscious, because I don't, I don't want to use the word failing, but you know, conscious stumbling, shall we say?
00:42:25
Speaker
It's like knowing like, like something I've done.
00:42:28
Speaker
I have a thing.
00:42:29
Speaker
It's funny that you mentioned Reese's pieces.
00:42:30
Speaker
I have a thing about Reese's peanut butter cups.
00:42:33
Speaker
And, uh, so there has been times where I will be like, you know,
00:42:38
Speaker
I'm going to, if I'm shopping or whatever, it's like, I'm going to get those Reese's peanut butter cups and I'm going to eat them and it's going to be awesome.
00:42:45
Speaker
So that way, but it's, I'm mindful about it.
00:42:46
Speaker
I'm conscious about it.
00:42:48
Speaker
So I do it.
00:42:49
Speaker
And then it kind of satisfies that craving before I even really had it before it, like the craving is like driving.
00:42:55
Speaker
my behavior, I'm consciously being like, you know, I'm not really feeling it, but I'm going to grab those and I'm going to eat them in the car and it's going to be awesome.
00:43:04
Speaker
And I just had, it's like, so I'm conscious about the, the activity and it kind of helps me to not, to not feel bad about it.
00:43:11
Speaker
I don't feel bad about at all about it.
00:43:12
Speaker
Cause I'm a grown ass man.
00:43:13
Speaker
I can do whatever I want.
00:43:14
Speaker
And so,
00:43:16
Speaker
So I had Reese's peanut butter cups for dinner or for breakfast even.
00:43:19
Speaker
And it's like, awesome.
00:43:20
Speaker
Now I'm going to get back on track and have this bomb salad for like, so it's just, there's no room for me to feel bad about it because I consciously chose that thing.
00:43:29
Speaker
And I'm just skipping on throughout my day.
00:43:32
Speaker
And it's like, and again, you know, cause Hey, tomorrow's another sunrise.
00:43:34
Speaker
I'm going to be awesome.
00:43:36
Speaker
Do it.
00:43:36
Speaker
Begin again.
00:43:37
Speaker
And I'll be awesome.
00:43:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:38
Speaker
So tomorrow I'm going to have pizza for breakfast.
00:43:41
Speaker
There you go.
00:43:44
Speaker
That is a very new thing for me to really give voice to my inner cheerleader.
00:43:51
Speaker
My inner critic is very developed.
00:43:55
Speaker
And so the pointing out the parts, the ways that I have not lived up to my potential is a loud voice.
00:44:05
Speaker
And just very recently, I've recognized the ability to add another voice or give volume to their voice.
00:44:10
Speaker
And so one of my my mantras lately is I'm kicking ass.
00:44:14
Speaker
I'm kicking ass.
00:44:15
Speaker
Now kicking ass can have some stumbles.
00:44:17
Speaker
It doesn't mean I'm getting 100% every day, but throughout every day, there's things that I'm kicking ass on.
00:44:23
Speaker
And that pulls me into not spending too much energy into the stumbles because there's so much more for momentum by celebrating the victories.
00:44:33
Speaker
Yes.
00:44:34
Speaker
I love the saying, what we focus on expands, where our attention lies, our experience is amplified, right?
00:44:45
Speaker
Because if we keep focusing on stumbling, then we're going to stumble more, right?
00:44:51
Speaker
But if we keep focusing on like
00:44:53
Speaker
You're doing great.
00:44:54
Speaker
Okay.
00:44:54
Speaker
Keep showing up.
00:44:55
Speaker
I am showing up.
00:44:56
Speaker
I am doing great.
00:44:57
Speaker
These are the affirmations, right?
00:44:58
Speaker
Then there starts to grow, right?
00:45:00
Speaker
That inner confidence starts to grow.
00:45:02
Speaker
And I totally relate to what you shared around shifting from the inner critic to the inner cheerleader.
00:45:07
Speaker
You know, I think that that's a really big one to be able to start to create new inner dialogue and
00:45:14
Speaker
that is encouraging, that is loving, that is supportive.
00:45:18
Speaker
It's, you know, programmed into a lot of our minds that are from a very young age.
00:45:24
Speaker
you know, that we're not good enough or that we need to do better or comparison or whatever these limiting beliefs are.
00:45:30
Speaker
And it does take some habit to start to create those new, um, new thought patterns, right?
00:45:38
Speaker
So looking in the mirror and saying, you're doing great, you're doing great.
00:45:42
Speaker
Okay.
00:45:42
Speaker
I'm showing up in the best way that I can.
00:45:45
Speaker
Right.
00:45:45
Speaker
I know personally for me, one of the, the best habits that I have cultivated over many years has been
00:45:52
Speaker
Then the inner thoughts and affirmations, you know, really auto-suggestion, essentially, you know, really programming myself because we get programmed from the outside all the time.
00:46:07
Speaker
And so how do we program our own self?
00:46:10
Speaker
Right?
00:46:10
Speaker
So coming into those affirmations to start to get those being the repetitive thoughts that we're having and then watching how different my life has become because I choose to use these affirmations, not to bypass, but to focus my mind.
00:46:27
Speaker
right?
00:46:27
Speaker
Because I'll share just one is that I trained myself to start my day right away with affirmations.
00:46:35
Speaker
I wrote a bunch of statements down that really resonate with me and put them next to my bed.
00:46:43
Speaker
And then I woke up every time I wake up, I look over and see these statements as like, you know, life is good.
00:46:50
Speaker
Life is great.
00:46:51
Speaker
Today's a new day.
00:46:53
Speaker
I'm feeling I'm happy to be alive.
00:46:55
Speaker
These simple things.
00:46:57
Speaker
And then after some time, I noticed I would wake up and I would just be like, not even need to open my eyes.
00:47:05
Speaker
And I would be like, life is good.
00:47:07
Speaker
Life is great.
00:47:08
Speaker
I'm doing great.
00:47:08
Speaker
Today's a new day.
00:47:09
Speaker
I'm feeling healthy, vibrant, clear, whatever it was.
00:47:12
Speaker
Right.
00:47:12
Speaker
I didn't even need that paper anymore.
00:47:14
Speaker
Now I don't even have the paper next to my bed and it's like programmed in there.
00:47:18
Speaker
Oh, sun is out.
00:47:20
Speaker
Oh, life is good.
00:47:22
Speaker
I am well.
00:47:23
Speaker
Life is beautiful.
00:47:24
Speaker
Everything's going, you know,
00:47:26
Speaker
according to plan i start to program my thoughts instead of the old version of me would wake up and be like oh man how's today gonna go i'm not sure i'm feeling overwhelmed i have so much to do monkey mind monkey mind monkey mind right and then it just transforms how i operate yeah yeah the the idea that we are going we are going to be running a program
00:47:55
Speaker
I honestly believe that cannot be avoided.
00:47:58
Speaker
You've got habits.
00:48:00
Speaker
You are going to have some habits.
00:48:03
Speaker
Whether they're good ones is something that is in your control.
00:48:05
Speaker
I don't know whether or not we have habits is in our control.
00:48:10
Speaker
What kind of habits we have is very much in our control.
00:48:15
Speaker
Accepting that idea and that goes into a much deeper conversation about free will and things like that.
00:48:24
Speaker
But I'm getting into I'm getting to that point in my life that I'm realizing, OK, I'm going to I'm going to be I'm going to have some sort of program I'm going to be running and I'm going to be running some sort of program unconsciously.
00:48:35
Speaker
I'm going to have some sort of habits.
00:48:38
Speaker
What kind of habits am I going to have?
00:48:39
Speaker
What kind of program am I going to run?
00:48:41
Speaker
And having that awareness again is where it starts.
00:48:45
Speaker
Helps us to kind of, you know, dictate an author what sort of like life and experience we're going to have.
00:48:51
Speaker
That's huge.
00:48:52
Speaker
I love that.
00:48:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:55
Speaker
So, um, so yeah, any, um, any final thoughts anybody has before, uh, we wrap things up?
00:49:02
Speaker
I got one.
00:49:03
Speaker
Um, and something that I found to be very helpful is, um,
00:49:09
Speaker
Being very crisp with the decisions and the habits that you're going to make.
00:49:17
Speaker
And whenever possible, make it a daily thing at the same time.
00:49:22
Speaker
You know, because there's a huge difference between saying, I'm going to meditate every morning at six and then take a walk afterwards versus I'm going to meditate and walk four days a week.
00:49:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:34
Speaker
Because if it's four days a week, every morning you wake up in a groggy state and go, is today going to be one of my, nah, I don't think today's going to be one of those days.
00:49:42
Speaker
But if you say, if it's an, this is what I do every day, then there's no brain loop, no decision-making.
00:49:49
Speaker
It's just, that's what you do.
00:49:50
Speaker
That's what you do.
00:49:51
Speaker
That's what you do.
00:49:52
Speaker
Like it or not, that's what you do.
00:49:54
Speaker
Otherwise you're like, oh, no, I'm sore.
00:49:56
Speaker
I'm not feeling so good.
00:49:57
Speaker
No, I'm gonna, or I need, I went to bed late last night, so I'm gonna sleep a little bit longer today.
00:50:01
Speaker
Like, no, every day, every day.
00:50:03
Speaker
And if it's not something that you do every day, then have it specifically.
00:50:06
Speaker
I do it Monday, Wednesday, Friday at this time.
00:50:08
Speaker
Like, you know, we record,
00:50:10
Speaker
mondays 10 o'clock a.m and when we got off of that for whatever reason because life happens it's it's we're stumbling to get back on track because it's really much easier to have a strict time thing no decision making we just do it you just show up at that time and you do it so i think um giving yourself a a
00:50:34
Speaker
So crisp and write it in pen.
00:50:37
Speaker
This is what I'm going to do at these times and deciding, yes, not, not I'm going in this direction, but I'm doing this exact thing saves you from any future wasted brain loops and excuse making that you can make in the moment.
00:50:54
Speaker
Consistency and conviction.
00:50:56
Speaker
Yes.
00:50:57
Speaker
That's what I'm hearing.
00:50:58
Speaker
Yes.
00:50:59
Speaker
That is what really supports the, um,
00:51:03
Speaker
deep anchoring of habits into form, right?
00:51:08
Speaker
And our habits, like daily habits become our life.
00:51:13
Speaker
It really, really does shape who we are and how we navigate the world, you know, and to be able all to shift old unhealthy habits, it takes commitment.
Personal Growth and Habit Strategies
00:51:23
Speaker
So consistency, conviction, commitment, right?
00:51:28
Speaker
And these are the things that I feel like are the building blocks for new habits.
00:51:32
Speaker
And I feel like my closing spark here is the questions, right?
00:51:37
Speaker
So many of the questions that have been posed here on this call, right?
00:51:41
Speaker
Who do I need to be in order to become who I'm here to be?
00:51:44
Speaker
right?
00:51:45
Speaker
Is there anything getting in the way of really me living my best self?
00:51:49
Speaker
You know, what is, what is my highest self's needs right now?
00:51:52
Speaker
What did my future self need today that I can serve my future self, right?
00:51:57
Speaker
Really being in that contemplation of those questions, I feel like then helps to fuel the actions that we take, right?
00:52:04
Speaker
I know that's what works for me.
00:52:05
Speaker
And so hopefully some of these, um, these little sparks for you guys out there are inspiring you,
00:52:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:16
Speaker
And that is, you know, all of that that you guys have shared is great.
00:52:21
Speaker
And I think the little addendum to all that is, you know, the notion that, I mean, the commitment is a big word, conviction, an equally big word.
00:52:33
Speaker
So we, we, it's important to realize that we can take this one bite at a time.
00:52:38
Speaker
So some, some of us are great.
00:52:40
Speaker
Okay.
00:52:40
Speaker
Monday through Friday, bam, this is what I do.
00:52:44
Speaker
You know, Monday would be good.
00:52:47
Speaker
You know, just Monday would be fine.
00:52:49
Speaker
And then maybe like, okay, I did that Monday, you know, do Monday a couple of weeks, a couple of times, you know, for a couple of weeks.
00:52:55
Speaker
Okay.
00:52:55
Speaker
Now, Monday, Wednesday, let's try that.
00:52:58
Speaker
See how that works.
00:52:58
Speaker
And you can even like kind of go back and forth.
00:53:00
Speaker
Okay.
00:53:01
Speaker
This, this week I'm doing Monday, Wednesday, next week, I'll go back to just Monday and you can like,
00:53:07
Speaker
Build on top of that.
00:53:08
Speaker
And then eventually become that person who does this thing five days a week, who does this thing every day.
00:53:13
Speaker
So you don't have to do it all at once.
00:53:15
Speaker
You can build.
00:53:16
Speaker
Some of us have it in there.
00:53:17
Speaker
It's like, no, this is my new habit.
00:53:18
Speaker
This is what I'm like.
00:53:19
Speaker
There's some people that can stop smoking.
00:53:21
Speaker
Bam, like that.
00:53:22
Speaker
And there's other people that like, you know, how about I just cut down the number I'm doing?
00:53:27
Speaker
Whatever works for you.
00:53:27
Speaker
There's a way to make it work.
00:53:29
Speaker
And if you need to do it in bite-sized pieces, that's fine.
00:53:33
Speaker
You know, you got this.
00:53:35
Speaker
you know, you can, you can, you can make it happen.
00:53:38
Speaker
So whatever works for you.
00:53:39
Speaker
Woo.
00:53:40
Speaker
We got this people.
00:53:41
Speaker
We got this.
00:53:42
Speaker
We're kicking ass.
00:53:43
Speaker
We're kicking ass.
00:53:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:44
Speaker
Cool.
00:53:46
Speaker
I love that.
00:53:47
Speaker
Maybe we should use that as our closing affirmation.
00:53:50
Speaker
Oh, that's, I vote for that.
00:53:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:53:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:53
Speaker
All right.
00:53:55
Speaker
We'll do a combination.
00:53:57
Speaker
Another one that I really love that I have a sticker of on my bottle from my friend, Autumn, which is we're doing great.
00:54:03
Speaker
We're doing great.
00:54:05
Speaker
Right.
00:54:05
Speaker
So, okay.
00:54:07
Speaker
So closing it up with an affirmation.
00:54:09
Speaker
If you like, you can close your eyes.
00:54:11
Speaker
You can
00:54:12
Speaker
If you want, even put your arms way up in the air like a big V, right?
00:54:17
Speaker
A celebratory pose.
00:54:19
Speaker
We are kicking ass.
00:54:21
Speaker
I am kicking ass.
00:54:23
Speaker
We're doing great.
00:54:24
Speaker
We are doing great.
00:54:25
Speaker
We are kicking ass.
00:54:27
Speaker
Yes, life is working out.
00:54:29
Speaker
Yes, I am consistent.
00:54:32
Speaker
I am committed.
00:54:33
Speaker
I am compassionate.
00:54:35
Speaker
I am consistent.
00:54:36
Speaker
I am committed.
00:54:37
Speaker
I am compassionate.
00:54:38
Speaker
And we are kicking ass.
00:54:42
Speaker
Yes.
00:54:42
Speaker
Thank you, Betsy.
00:54:44
Speaker
Thank you, Betsy.
00:54:46
Speaker
Thank you both.
00:54:46
Speaker
Always a treat to share and grow and learn with you guys.
00:54:50
Speaker
I love you.
00:54:51
Speaker
I love you too.
00:54:52
Speaker
And closing it out for you guys, if you guys want to find us, I'd love to share a little more on how you can do that.
00:54:59
Speaker
So Halcyon, you want to give a little insight into how people can find you?
00:55:03
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:55:04
Speaker
All my goodies are at johnstyn.com, J-O-H-N-S-T-Y-N, including a number of daily habits that you can join me in.
Daily Practices and Business Ventures
00:55:13
Speaker
Every morning at 9 a.m., I do a love morning broadcast that is involved with setting an intention of the day, setting a script or a plan where we kind of guide ourselves to be the person we want to be that day, set the habits, as well as a noon and 6 p.m.
00:55:28
Speaker
Pacific time gratitude circle.
00:55:29
Speaker
So those are a couple of my habits that you can join me in every day.
00:55:34
Speaker
Fantastic.
00:55:34
Speaker
Fantastic.
00:55:35
Speaker
So my main offering in the world these days is once again, new world nutritionals.com that's spelled N U world nutritionals.com.
00:55:45
Speaker
And we've got a couple of different nutritional supplements.
00:55:49
Speaker
that we offer one of them being a microdose supplement that is designed to help alleviate symptoms of anxiety depression adhd ptsd it's actually even helping with forms of dementia parkinson's anything neurological um it's really working wonders for a lot of people i'm happy to say so uh
00:56:08
Speaker
helps with memory, learning, focus, things like that.
00:56:10
Speaker
So find us at newworldnutritionals.com.
00:56:14
Speaker
You can use the code SPARKED, SPARKED, for 10% off of all our products.
00:56:21
Speaker
Amazing.
00:56:22
Speaker
So good.
00:56:23
Speaker
That's a good habit to be implementing.
00:56:24
Speaker
Indeed.
00:56:26
Speaker
I also have a company called PowerAffirmation.com that encourages healthy habits of mind, body, and spirit, especially using affirmations.
00:56:36
Speaker
I am also a holistic healing arts practitioner doing body work, energy work, and intuitive coaching.
00:56:42
Speaker
virtually and also in person.
00:56:45
Speaker
And I love getting to share power affirmations, audio versions on insight timer.
00:56:51
Speaker
So you guys can get, find me on there and find a variety of affirmations to help infuse your mind with positivity and thoughts to empower you.
00:57:01
Speaker
You can also check out my website, poweraffirmation.com and use that same code SPARKED
00:57:07
Speaker
for 10% off and you can check out a little free gift in our show notes here.
00:57:14
Speaker
Uh, Betsy's affirmations are a incredible tool for daily habits, I would add.
00:57:21
Speaker
And I would want to offer as well.
00:57:23
Speaker
Um, I have a recording that I listened to every morning of myself, giving my own affirmations and a blessing that I listened to in my part of my morning routine, that if you sign up for my mailing list, I'll send that out so I can share that with you.
00:57:36
Speaker
And that's also in the johnston.com links.
00:57:39
Speaker
Great.
00:57:42
Speaker
And perhaps we can also put in the show notes a link to the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.
00:57:49
Speaker
I think that's been something that I know Betsy and I have gotten a lot out of as far as improving our habits and bringing in new ones.
00:57:58
Speaker
And it would be I feel good recommending that book to our listeners.
00:58:02
Speaker
Let's do that.
00:58:02
Speaker
And Joe Dispenza as well.
00:58:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:06
Speaker
And thank you again, everyone for sharing with us your reviews and on Apple podcasts, and also just really continuing to welcome our listeners to share sparks with us.
00:58:17
Speaker
If there's anything that you would like for us to be sharing on these, on these podcasts, please send us a message, any requests for topics.
00:58:27
Speaker
We love hearing from you guys.
00:58:30
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:58:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:30
Speaker
Looking forward to that.
00:58:31
Speaker
Please feel free to reach out.
00:58:32
Speaker
All right.
00:58:34
Speaker
Stay sparked people.
00:58:36
Speaker
Stay smart, people.
00:58:37
Speaker
We love you.