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134. Drew Brees on Resilience: Embrace Your Role and Build a Winning Team
2 Plays3 months ago
In this episode of the Especially for Athletes Podcast, Shad and Dustin dive into the power of embracing your role within a team. They reflect on the valuable lesson from Hall of Fame quarterback Drew Brees, who shared his thoughts on resilience, teamwork, and the importance of accepting your role, even when it’s not the one you hoped for.
The conversation focuses on how athletes can contribute to the team’s success, no matter where they stand on the depth chart. Shad and Dustin discuss how athletes can support their team from any position, whether they’re a starter or a backup, and how coaches and parents play a crucial role in fostering this mindset.
Key Takeaways:
• Resilience is about accepting your role and continuing to work hard, even when you’re not playing as much as you’d like.
• A positive attitude and hard work can lead to growth and more opportunities.
• Coaches, athletes, and parents must work together to create an environment where every team member can thrive, regardless of their role.
Join Shad and Dustin as they explore how embracing your role can lead to personal growth, stronger teams, and lasting success.
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Credits:
Hosted by Shad Martin
Produced by IMAGINATE STUDIO
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Empowering Athletes through Sports
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to the especially for athletes podcast where we explore essential principles that empower athletes to learn life's most valuable lessons through sports.
00:00:16
Speaker
I think one of the greatest opportunities that we all have in life is to be a part of a team.
00:00:20
Speaker
And that's why I love sports and especially you sports so much, because I think it teaches us truly how to be part of a team and to really give ourselves to the mission, the vision, and the values of that team.
00:00:34
Speaker
Everybody has a role on that team and everybody's role is just as important as the next person's.
00:00:39
Speaker
And even though there's times where you may not have the role that you want on your team,
00:00:46
Speaker
Be the best at where you are at that moment and focus on being the best teammate that you could be at all times.
00:00:55
Speaker
The way that you work, the way that you interact with your teammates, the way that you support them.
Failure as a Teacher
00:01:01
Speaker
It's okay to be competitive.
00:01:03
Speaker
It's okay to be disappointed when you face failure, but you also must realize that failure is the best teacher and failure at the end of the day is what is going to
00:01:13
Speaker
have you come back working even harder, even more focused, even more determined, even more resilient.
00:01:20
Speaker
And that's what's going to get you to where you want to be.
00:01:22
Speaker
And so never get complacent.
00:01:26
Speaker
It's okay.
00:01:27
Speaker
Never be satisfied.
00:01:28
Speaker
Continue to focus and work each and every day to be the very best that you can be.
00:01:35
Speaker
Most importantly, be the best teammate that you could be because that's when you really start to create incredible things with your team.
00:01:41
Speaker
So, Shad, that was Drew Brees, Hall of Fame, one of the best quarterbacks to ever play ever in the NFL.
00:01:50
Speaker
He said that at our E4A golf fundraiser last year.
00:01:54
Speaker
He came down and played in that tournament.
Accepting and Excelling in Roles
00:01:56
Speaker
And we were able to spend a lot of time with Drew.
00:01:58
Speaker
But that comment that he made right there,
00:02:02
Speaker
I was 30 feet from him when he said it.
00:02:04
Speaker
I didn't know what he was talking about when we finally did hear it a week or two later, listen to the audio.
00:02:10
Speaker
I was excited for the chance we get to talk about this subject because that's an easy thing to say.
00:02:17
Speaker
It's a harder thing to do when you say accept your role.
00:02:20
Speaker
And I think understanding what accepting your role means, being on a team and how hard that can be, the resilience and the strength and the humility that it shows to accept your role, it doesn't mean that you accept not playing.
00:02:37
Speaker
You want to play.
00:02:38
Speaker
It means that you accept how you approach not playing.
00:02:41
Speaker
You accept that you're not playing right now in this game and you still have a job to do.
00:02:46
Speaker
The job is not to feel sorry for yourself.
00:02:49
Speaker
The job is not to hope that your team plays well so you can get in or that you can prove that your coach doesn't know what he's doing by not playing you or that somebody gets hurt so that you can play.
00:03:02
Speaker
Or that's not acceptable.
00:03:05
Speaker
Being upset, wanting to play and wanting to find out what you have to do to play and get instruction from your coach on what do I need to do to get better and then working to hopefully earn that respect or trust, I guess, of your coach to get in and play.
00:03:22
Speaker
That's, yeah, you should be, you should be, I would ask athletes to never accept
00:03:28
Speaker
not playing like you should always want to play more.
00:03:31
Speaker
But when you're not playing, Drew talked about it, everybody has a role.
00:03:35
Speaker
Every coach has a role.
00:03:36
Speaker
Every player has a role and every fan has a role.
Impact of Attitude on Team Dynamics
00:03:39
Speaker
And that is to make the experience a positive one and to cheer and to support and to hope for the best for those that you're part of a team with.
00:03:49
Speaker
If you're really a teammate and not selfish, that's hard.
00:03:53
Speaker
Human nature might be to feel sorry for yourself or be angry or to resent the fact that you're not out there being this, you know, winning or playing.
00:04:03
Speaker
But that's where the real resiliency that I think he's talking about.
00:04:07
Speaker
Is that what you thought he meant there, Shad?
00:04:09
Speaker
Is he talking about being resilient in accepting your role?
00:04:13
Speaker
Is there a level of resiliency there that he's alluding to?
00:04:17
Speaker
I think so.
00:04:18
Speaker
I think you nailed it.
00:04:19
Speaker
In fact, as you were talking, as I heard his quote there, I was thinking, accept your current role and make as big of a contribution as you can in that current role, but don't settle for your current role.
00:04:34
Speaker
Like you're a coach, Dustin.
00:04:36
Speaker
It's not that you want kids that you say, hey, you're the backup running back.
00:04:43
Speaker
You want them to accept that role and say, okay, I'm going to make a huge, I'm going to get ready.
00:04:49
Speaker
I'm always one snap away from getting in.
00:04:52
Speaker
I'm going to need to give that guy a rest every now and then.
00:04:55
Speaker
But it's okay to accept that current role, make as big of a contribution as you can there.
00:05:01
Speaker
But I don't think you would ever want a running back that was like,
00:05:07
Speaker
you know, I don't even want to be first string, right?
00:05:10
Speaker
So I think you could accept part of resilience is when we aren't where we want to be on the depth chart or whatever, we accept it.
00:05:19
Speaker
We make a huge contribution there, but then we don't settle for that.
00:05:25
Speaker
We don't act like that's forever where we're going to be.
00:05:28
Speaker
And you've coached hundreds, hundreds of kids.
00:05:32
Speaker
I'm wondering how you feel,
00:05:35
Speaker
about that kid that maybe doesn't have the spot on the team that they hoped for, but they are an incredible teammate.
00:05:43
Speaker
They are passionate where they are.
00:05:46
Speaker
They are excitedly ready to go in and make a contribution when they're called upon.
00:05:52
Speaker
I wondered what you've learned from those kids as you've coached for these many years and what that leads to when you accept your role, you don't settle for it, but you accept it and you try to make a contribution where you are.
00:06:05
Speaker
Well, first of all, it leads to more wins.
00:06:09
Speaker
Somebody who's not even on the field, maybe participating in the game, can have an impact in such a way with their attitude that wins games.
00:06:20
Speaker
And they don't realize it because they're not there on the field.
00:06:22
Speaker
But their attitude in the bus, in the locker room, in the school, at practice, the energy that they put forth at practice when they're maybe giving the starter reps and they've got to go up against that person,
00:06:36
Speaker
Their energy and their effort to want to make sure that the starter is ready for the game is what helps that starter be successful in the game.
00:06:44
Speaker
And so they should feel absolutely a part of the win.
00:06:47
Speaker
And I would guess that every coach in team sports would say the same, that your backups need to be playing and fighting like they're starters, trying to win every second they can at practice, because you want them to want to feel like,
00:07:01
Speaker
If I get better and I show that I can handle my role as the backup at practice better, eventually I might be the starter.
00:07:08
Speaker
And the truth is, is that you want to play those kids.
00:07:11
Speaker
And, Chad, you don't want to play the other kids.
00:07:13
Speaker
It's just, it's reality.
00:07:15
Speaker
And parents, it's just, it is what it is.
00:07:17
Speaker
If your kid pouts, the body language is poor.
00:07:21
Speaker
You can see that they're just negative and they don't want to be there because they're not playing playing.
00:07:27
Speaker
you don't wanna play that kid.
00:07:28
Speaker
Why would you wanna play that kid?
00:07:30
Speaker
First of all, his body language and energy is telling you that he's not ready.
00:07:34
Speaker
He's gonna go in and not be ready.
00:07:36
Speaker
Instead of focusing on what's being taught, the instructions that he probably more than anybody needs to know, because it might be why he or she isn't playing, is because they don't pay
Role of Parents in Athlete Development
00:07:46
Speaker
attention.
00:07:46
Speaker
If they're busy,
00:07:48
Speaker
going through their head on why they should be playing and how wrong this is and how wrong they are and this isn't fair and I'm being picked on and that's what's going through their head.
00:07:57
Speaker
They're probably missing an instruction being taught by the coach or a play or a tweak to something that when they do go in and they don't know.
00:08:07
Speaker
So coach doesn't have, coach doesn't want to learn on the fly.
00:08:12
Speaker
He's seen it at practice.
00:08:14
Speaker
So he's not going to play your son or daughter in the game if he has seen that at practice.
00:08:18
Speaker
And part of the reason why I think sometimes kids act that way, it's human nature to be disappointed if you're not playing.
00:08:25
Speaker
Every kid's going to be, and coaches understand that.
00:08:28
Speaker
But you can be disappointed, and like you said, and like Drew said, accepting your role and understanding that, okay, I'm disappointed.
00:08:36
Speaker
but I'm going to own the role that I'm in in hopes that in doing that, I'm going to get myself better and show coach that I care and that I'm passionate and I'm on the same page as the team.
00:08:49
Speaker
And that might earn me more time on the field or on the court.
00:08:53
Speaker
And the truth is that probably will earn them more time on the court or on the field because coaches want to see those kids be successful.
00:09:00
Speaker
We cheer for those kinds of kids.
00:09:03
Speaker
But parents have a role in that as well.
00:09:07
Speaker
Most of these kids, I think, well, I don't think I know this.
00:09:10
Speaker
I know this with teams I've coached, even really good teams I've coached, like the team I coached this year that played about as well as a team can play, the best in the 105 years of the school, this particular team.
00:09:24
Speaker
And there were still parents who thought we got it wrong.
00:09:29
Speaker
We broke all these records.
00:09:31
Speaker
We did all these things right.
00:09:33
Speaker
Obviously, something we were doing was working because we led the state in all these categories and had all this success.
00:09:39
Speaker
Won all these games.
00:09:41
Speaker
But yet there were still parents who thought, well, you don't know what you're doing.
00:09:45
Speaker
You're an idiot.
00:09:46
Speaker
And that's the case at every school.
00:09:49
Speaker
When that is the case, though, and they tell their son or their daughter that at home,
00:09:55
Speaker
how do you expect your son or daughter to act when they come to practice?
00:09:58
Speaker
Excited?
00:10:00
Speaker
You know, with positive, optimistic, you know, what's their body language going to put off to the coach when you just fed them with this poison of,
00:10:10
Speaker
Your coach doesn't know what he's doing.
00:10:12
Speaker
You're being mistreated.
00:10:14
Speaker
That other kid isn't as good as you are.
00:10:17
Speaker
He's horrible at doing this or he can't block or he doesn't do that or that well.
00:10:21
Speaker
You're better than him at that.
00:10:22
Speaker
How is your son going to go now and react in practice in a way that the coach doesn't see that pollution that you just fed him?
00:10:32
Speaker
The answer to that is he is going to see it or she is going to see it.
00:10:36
Speaker
They're going to see that this kid has been fed this stuff.
00:10:40
Speaker
And I'm less likely or just naturally less inclined to want to see that kid be successful or play because they don't care about the team and they don't care about the program and they just care about them.
00:10:53
Speaker
So parents, parents have a major role in that, in telling their kids, look, don't accept that you're the backup.
00:11:01
Speaker
You work your tail off and try to become the starter.
00:11:04
Speaker
But as the backup, you better be the very best backup.
00:11:08
Speaker
ever to play.
00:11:09
Speaker
And how do you do that?
00:11:11
Speaker
This is what you do.
00:11:11
Speaker
And if you do that, son, and your energy is positive in things at practice, your coach will see that.
00:11:16
Speaker
You're going to have a better chance.
00:11:18
Speaker
Does that mean they're playing?
00:11:19
Speaker
Doesn't, unfortunately.
00:11:20
Speaker
Doesn't mean they're going to play more.
00:11:22
Speaker
But they're more likely than the alternative.
00:11:26
Speaker
I can promise you that.
00:11:27
Speaker
They're more likely to play than if you're doing the other because that comes out in how he acts at practice.
00:11:32
Speaker
And everybody sees it.
00:11:33
Speaker
And the coaches see it.
00:11:34
Speaker
When they get together and talk, they can sense that what's wrong with him?
00:11:38
Speaker
No, that's probably coming from mom and dad.
00:11:41
Speaker
Yeah, well, I don't trust him.
Family Support and Positive Outcomes
00:11:43
Speaker
So parents have a major role in that.
00:11:47
Speaker
I agree, Dustin.
00:11:48
Speaker
In fact, one time in my profession, this will bleed over, you know, into their life as well.
00:11:55
Speaker
I finally had to take a person aside one time and tell him,
00:12:00
Speaker
He just wasn't getting the assignment he wanted at work.
00:12:03
Speaker
He wanted a position that a lot of people wanted and he wasn't getting year after year.
00:12:09
Speaker
He would ask, can I be placed here?
00:12:11
Speaker
Can I do this?
00:12:12
Speaker
And he wasn't getting that assignment.
00:12:15
Speaker
And finally, I just, and then he would sulk.
00:12:17
Speaker
I mean, all of February, all of March, you know, it was just because that's when things are kind of, you know, what's happening in the next year.
00:12:26
Speaker
I finally had to go to him and say, if you think you're going to pout your way into a position, you are wrong.
00:12:32
Speaker
You perform your way into a position.
00:12:35
Speaker
You do not pout your way into a position.
00:12:37
Speaker
And so some of these things we're doing to make our kids feel better during high school, they could bleed over and show themselves perfectly.
00:12:45
Speaker
20 years were there at work.
00:12:46
Speaker
Do you think if you walk into work and you didn't get that promotion and someone else did get the promotion and then you're sulking, do you really think a boss is going to come to that kid or that adult now and say, hey, what's wrong?
00:13:01
Speaker
You just seem so sad.
00:13:05
Speaker
I didn't get that position.
00:13:06
Speaker
Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:13:07
Speaker
I'll give it to you.
00:13:08
Speaker
That's just not life.
00:13:09
Speaker
In fact, Drew Brees said this.
00:13:11
Speaker
He went on.
00:13:12
Speaker
It's okay to be competitive.
00:13:15
Speaker
It's okay to be disappointed when you face failure, but you also must realize that failure is the best teacher.
00:13:23
Speaker
Failure at the end of the day is what is going to have you come back working even harder, even more focused, even more determined, even more resilient.
00:13:34
Speaker
And that's what's going to get you where you want to be.
00:13:38
Speaker
So I love that second part of his quote is he's acknowledging what we're saying here is, look, if you get assigned a position on a team that you don't love, the things that are going to get you to where you want to be is working even harder, being even more focused, being even more determined, being even more resilient.
00:14:00
Speaker
It's not
00:14:01
Speaker
pouting and complaining and causing division on a team and having your parents talk to the other parents in the stands whose kids also don't have the roles that they want.
00:14:12
Speaker
And, you know, like that's the stuff that leads to division and it does not lead to growth.
00:14:20
Speaker
And so any, any thoughts on that?
00:14:21
Speaker
You sent me that, that video from,
00:14:25
Speaker
Yeah, maybe you could get that queued up.
00:14:29
Speaker
That would be a good time to share that.
00:14:31
Speaker
Yeah, longtime college coach, and he kind of addressed this in a post-conference.
00:14:37
Speaker
I don't know when it came across.
00:14:38
Speaker
I saw it on social media.
00:14:40
Speaker
I'm not sure when it happened.
00:14:41
Speaker
Maybe it was recently, but it was pretty cool what he said.
00:14:44
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:14:45
Speaker
So here's what Bruce Pearl said about a young man, highly touted, obviously, if he's going to the SEC as a freshman, to the top team in the country right now as a freshman.
00:14:56
Speaker
And Bruce Pearl said this about the kid when they asked a question, because if I understand correctly, someone got hurt, he had to start a game and he came in and he actually played really, really well.
00:15:07
Speaker
And this is what Bruce Pearl said about that.
00:15:09
Speaker
I think every player's got great strengths.
00:15:12
Speaker
Every player has got weaknesses.
00:15:14
Speaker
And my job as head coach is to put my players in positions to be successful.
00:15:19
Speaker
And when they are, they're going to have more confidence because they're going to look good at the stuff they're good at.
00:15:23
Speaker
I mean, Todd Pettiford has not started a game.
00:15:29
Speaker
and has not said one word to any of his coaches.
00:15:33
Speaker
His family has not said a single word because he was raised right.
00:15:38
Speaker
And look, guys, there are still great stories about kids that want to be coached, they want to be held accountable, and kids that aren't, you know, I spoil my children, but I will slap the rotten right out of them.
00:15:50
Speaker
We all spoil our kids, don't we?
00:15:52
Speaker
But we ain't going to spoil them rotten.
00:15:54
Speaker
And that's the way I want to coach, and that's the way I want.
00:15:56
Speaker
I want my kids to feel they're loved.
00:15:58
Speaker
But when they do behave selfishly or they do behave in such a way that either God's not going to bless it or it's going to bring the team down, we call it out.
00:16:10
Speaker
We call it out.
00:16:11
Speaker
And so, I mean, Todd's been great.
00:16:15
Speaker
And he's got great courage.
00:16:18
Speaker
As a freshman, the senior's done a great job kind of embracing him.
00:16:22
Speaker
And to play the entire game and have Butler guarding him sometimes and not have a turnover is incredible.
00:16:30
Speaker
So this player isn't starting and the coaches is complimenting or recognizes the fact that his parents and family and the kid haven't said anything about him not starting.
00:16:41
Speaker
So that tells you right there that sometimes coaches, in fact, parents coaches notice more what you don't say than what you do say when you don't complain.
00:16:51
Speaker
and you don't make a fuss, coaches notice that more than when you scream and yell because we turn that stuff off.
00:16:59
Speaker
There's nothing that you say to a coach that is going to, you're not going to complain yourself or demean a coach into more playing time.
00:17:06
Speaker
We hear that stuff.
00:17:08
Speaker
We just, yeah.
00:17:09
Speaker
put it away in a bank in our brain and say, all right, that parent's, you know, I can't trust that parent because they're not going to trust my decision making.
00:17:18
Speaker
And the fact of the matter is it's your son or daughter who usually pays the price for that with less playing time.
00:17:24
Speaker
When, you know, but in this case, this kid doesn't hear or this coach doesn't hear anything from this kid's family and parents about it.
00:17:32
Speaker
And he was excited to play the kid and the seniors embraced him and everybody embraced him because of that.
Parental Pressure vs. Team Reality
00:17:38
Speaker
Why?
00:17:38
Speaker
Because he was a positive, optimistic, hard working kid who accepted his role as a backup until his role to start came up and then he was ready to play.
00:17:49
Speaker
He'd earned the trust of the coach to start in a big game.
00:17:54
Speaker
Instead of losing the trust of his coach by complaining and whining and having parents who complained and whined.
00:18:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:00
Speaker
You know, I have a relative.
00:18:03
Speaker
I'll just keep this vague who has a son.
00:18:05
Speaker
That's a really, really good basketball player.
00:18:09
Speaker
And.
00:18:10
Speaker
The coach of this junior high team where he was playing, it was a ninth grade team, had parents that were just constantly, you're getting things wrong.
00:18:19
Speaker
And this team was 17 and two.
00:18:22
Speaker
And so they were playing a team that wasn't very good.
00:18:24
Speaker
The coach was pretty confident that they could beat them pretty good.
00:18:28
Speaker
So he sat down five starters.
00:18:31
Speaker
and let these kids that all their parents have been calling him and complaining about their role on the team and let them play the whole first quarter.
00:18:39
Speaker
And they were down 24 to seven.
00:18:42
Speaker
after the first quarter in a junior high basketball game.
00:18:46
Speaker
And the assistant coach turned to him and said, hey, when are we going to put in the starters?
00:18:52
Speaker
And he's like, after the first quarter, we'll put them back in after the first quarter.
00:18:57
Speaker
So 24 to 7, put in the starters.
00:19:01
Speaker
And by halftime, the score was...
00:19:03
Speaker
was 37 to 27 that they ended up winning by, by 26, but he just wanted like 20 plus, you know, I don't know, but he just wanted to make the point.
00:19:14
Speaker
I mean, sometimes parents perception of things, what makes a high school coach in particular want to coach?
00:19:21
Speaker
They love kids.
00:19:22
Speaker
They want to help kids grow.
00:19:23
Speaker
They aren't doing it for the
Resilience and Life Skills from Sports
00:19:25
Speaker
money.
00:19:25
Speaker
Most of them are passionate and competitive people that love sports.
00:19:30
Speaker
They want to win so badly.
00:19:35
Speaker
And so they're going to play the kids that help them to win.
00:19:40
Speaker
And so I love this topic, Dustin, because I just feel like sometimes when coaches and parents get this out of balance and when players get this out of balance, when they think that they can sulk and put their head down and count their way into a position, it's never going to happen.
00:19:58
Speaker
But if they'll embrace their role, even if they don't
00:20:01
Speaker
climb to all the goals that they hope to achieve.
00:20:04
Speaker
I love this.
00:20:05
Speaker
This was Tom Brady.
00:20:06
Speaker
He said this, we've said something like this before.
00:20:09
Speaker
A lot of times I find that people who are blessed with the most talent don't ever develop that resilient, powerful attitude to be great.
00:20:19
Speaker
The ones that aren't blessed in that way with the most talent are the most competitive and have the biggest heart and actually pass those with talent up.
00:20:28
Speaker
And so we've talked about that before, but these kids that...
00:20:34
Speaker
don't have the role they want, are you going to get any better by pouting?
00:20:39
Speaker
No.
00:20:39
Speaker
Dustin, just what thoughts do you have on that?
00:20:43
Speaker
You know, we have these kids that maybe don't have all the physical gifts in the world, but they accept their role.
00:20:51
Speaker
They don't settle for their role.
00:20:53
Speaker
They work like crazy.
00:20:54
Speaker
They have a great attitude.
00:20:56
Speaker
They're the best teammate in the world.
00:20:58
Speaker
You love coaching them.
00:21:00
Speaker
I'm sure you've had some kids like that that you've coached that even come to mind right now.
00:21:05
Speaker
Any come to mind?
00:21:07
Speaker
Any stories come to mind?
00:21:09
Speaker
Tom Brady, what he just said right there, he was the perfect example of that.
00:21:13
Speaker
Tom Brady was talented.
00:21:15
Speaker
Everybody that makes professional athletics is talented, but he was not the most talented.
Outworking Talent
00:21:20
Speaker
There were more talented quarterbacks.
00:21:23
Speaker
in the last 20 years, dozens of them, I think, than Tom Brady.
00:21:28
Speaker
Tom Brady developed his talent into an exceptional skill set.
00:21:34
Speaker
that was elite by work and by study and by all sorts of other things to become who he was.
00:21:40
Speaker
He was really talented, but people coming out of college, nobody, people who were paid a lot of money to evaluate talent did not see Tom Brady becoming Tom Brady.
00:21:51
Speaker
It's the same thing with Drew Brees.
00:21:53
Speaker
Drew Brees, I mean, you saw him at our golf tournament.
00:21:55
Speaker
Drew Brees is six feet tall.
00:21:56
Speaker
He looks just like a regular dude.
00:21:58
Speaker
He's probably the most accurate passer to ever play in the NFL.
00:22:02
Speaker
Same thing with Ty Detmer.
00:22:04
Speaker
I remember one time, hopefully this isn't offensive.
00:22:08
Speaker
We weren't athletic specimen at the time, but we were a little younger than Ty, but we were sitting at a table and having a hamburger.
00:22:16
Speaker
I remember, and I was looking around the table.
00:22:18
Speaker
There was four of us there, I think.
00:22:19
Speaker
And I was thinking if this server knew nothing about football and we said, one of these people won the Heisman trophy and played professional football for a decade plus,
00:22:32
Speaker
Which one?
00:22:33
Speaker
She may have chosen Ty Detmer as the fourth pick.
00:22:36
Speaker
You know?
00:22:37
Speaker
Yeah, look at what he did, right?
00:22:39
Speaker
I mean, the guy was incredible.
00:22:42
Speaker
Well, and Ty, if you're listening to this, that shat opinion, I say she would have chosen you first.
00:22:48
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:22:49
Speaker
You would have been a no- Just saying the physical attributes is not what set Ty Netber apart.
00:22:55
Speaker
I was actually really amazed that he accomplished what he did.
00:22:59
Speaker
You're exactly right.
00:23:01
Speaker
I think some of the very best basketball players, football players, baseball players, the most talented, we don't know their name.
00:23:09
Speaker
The most talented basketball player is playing in some YMCA somewhere, some Vasa gym somewhere, right?
00:23:16
Speaker
Some high school gym on Saturday mornings.
00:23:18
Speaker
And he was, he could have been the very best.
00:23:20
Speaker
He was the most talented, but he didn't do all the other things.
00:23:23
Speaker
And talent only gets you so far.
00:23:25
Speaker
After that, you have to have developed an elite skill set to get over the hump.
00:23:30
Speaker
I had a kid recently, I have a kid right now who,
00:23:35
Speaker
Physically has all the attributes to be a starter.
00:23:40
Speaker
But he's young.
00:23:40
Speaker
He's a sophomore.
00:23:41
Speaker
He didn't play a lot last year.
00:23:44
Speaker
He started in the first two games of the year.
00:23:47
Speaker
In the first two games this season, we were trying to figure some things out.
00:23:50
Speaker
We had several young guys that we tried to see a
00:23:54
Speaker
if they could play this position or that position, and we were trying to figure it out.
00:23:59
Speaker
And after that second game, we made some decisions and kind of knew what we had and went with some other guys and ended up having this incredible run after that.
00:24:10
Speaker
Well, this kid didn't play much the rest of the year.
00:24:12
Speaker
He was playing offense and defense.
00:24:14
Speaker
And he has all the physical attributes.
00:24:16
Speaker
If you saw him, you'd say, I mean, I almost thought he could start as a freshman the year before when he was 14.
00:24:23
Speaker
He's that athletic in his size and everything.
00:24:26
Speaker
Well, as the year went on, and even part of the right after the season, I didn't get the impression that his attitude was where I wanted it.
00:24:34
Speaker
I had heard some things that were being said by people close to him that I didn't like.
00:24:39
Speaker
I let it go and hope that he would just mature and things would change.
00:24:44
Speaker
To this kid's credit, he didn't just jump ship and run to another school.
00:24:49
Speaker
He finally, we had a conversation.
00:24:51
Speaker
I was very honest with him about what happened and what he needed to do.
00:24:55
Speaker
To his credit, he's done that.
00:24:57
Speaker
And he is just working his tell-off.
00:24:59
Speaker
He's going to class.
00:25:01
Speaker
He's doing all the things he's supposed to do.
00:25:03
Speaker
I've seen him recently.
00:25:04
Speaker
I have every intention of starting this kid his junior and senior year, possibly offense and defense.
00:25:11
Speaker
He'll end up, when he graduates, probably being a kid who gets a chance to go play in college, and he'll have that story of, I played my first two games as a sophomore, started, beat a really good team our first game of the season, and he caught the winning touchdown in that game and didn't play the rest of the year.
00:25:33
Speaker
And instead of choosing to let that ruin the last season,
00:25:37
Speaker
you know, four months since the season's ended and being a pain, he's flipped it to, well, I'm going to put my head down and get to work and come back and earn it.
00:25:44
Speaker
And I'm proud as heck of him so far.
00:25:46
Speaker
And right now he is, he is earning his way into a starting position and we're still, you know, several months away from the start of the season, but his attitude is earned him right now.
00:25:57
Speaker
If we had to start a game, play a game today, he would be playing.
00:26:00
Speaker
And I haven't seen him in a helmet since the last game of the year that he didn't play in.
00:26:05
Speaker
Just his attitude and his work ethic the last three or four months since season ended is probably earning him a starting spot if we had to start right now.
00:26:15
Speaker
And there could be other kids who take the other approach
00:26:19
Speaker
And they're going to have to put a helmet and shoulder pads on and really show us this summer.
00:26:24
Speaker
Because as of right now, they're not on the depth chart.
00:26:27
Speaker
They're third or fourth from what we've seen the last three months.
Role Clarity and Communication
00:26:31
Speaker
And those are kids who just think their talent, to Tom Brady's point, well, my talent is just going to, I'm really, I'm good, obviously.
00:26:37
Speaker
I even played last year.
00:26:39
Speaker
I had a kid ask me, a kid that was thinking of moving to the city that we live in.
00:26:45
Speaker
And he said, hey, coach, my dad, our family is moving.
00:26:48
Speaker
We might move there.
00:26:49
Speaker
He told me to reach out to you.
00:26:50
Speaker
I'm wondering if there's a spot available to play at corner.
00:26:54
Speaker
What I play if I came there at corner, is there a spot open?
00:26:58
Speaker
And my answer to his email was I said there's 11 spots open on defense.
00:27:03
Speaker
And there's 11 spots open on offense.
00:27:05
Speaker
It's the same every year.
00:27:06
Speaker
Just because a kid played last year does not mean he's playing this year.
00:27:09
Speaker
So you have a chance to play any position.
00:27:12
Speaker
You could pick a position.
00:27:14
Speaker
You have a chance to play that just as much as the other kid does.
00:27:17
Speaker
But we'll see through work ethic and through commitment and then through performance when we get closer to the season who actually plays or not.
00:27:26
Speaker
But there's no, no, you got to earn it every year.
00:27:29
Speaker
And Tom Brady did that.
00:27:32
Speaker
What he ate, how he slept, how he took care of his body, all the film study, everything he did.
00:27:37
Speaker
You don't just become Tom Brady because you're 6'5 and you have a good arm.
00:27:41
Speaker
He had to earn his way into becoming, you know, and playing as many years as he played.
00:27:47
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome.
00:27:48
Speaker
I just hope that this happens a lot with young, talented kids who make a varsity team as a sophomore.
00:27:56
Speaker
It also happens with kids who are in the ninth grade who may not ever play varsity ball, but who are on the team now.
00:28:04
Speaker
For me, those who accept their role and make a contribution where they're at, but don't settle for that role, as Drew Brees said, it's the work, it's the determination, it's the resilience.
00:28:17
Speaker
Even if you don't end up where you want, you've developed those attributes and that will help you in life.
00:28:24
Speaker
Some who have all the talent in the world, they're actually kind of hampered by that because they never learned.
00:28:29
Speaker
They're good enough.
00:28:30
Speaker
They're good enough to always play and that's good enough for them.
00:28:35
Speaker
I love the kid that has to fight their way into a lineup because I think that helps them in life way more than the ones that are just gifted talent and don't do much with it.
00:28:45
Speaker
And of course you don't have to do that.
00:28:46
Speaker
You could be gifted talent and then become incredible as well as we've talked about before.
00:28:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:52
Speaker
So yeah,
00:28:52
Speaker
Well, any final thoughts, Dustin, on this?
00:28:56
Speaker
One thing that I'd say I haven't been great at as a coach, I'm trying to be better at it, but I'm not alone in this.
00:29:02
Speaker
I think all coaches, we need to be better at this on this topic of roles, as we need to do better to make sure that those kids understand their role.
00:29:11
Speaker
Some just don't understand their role.
00:29:14
Speaker
And that's on us as coaches and parents.
00:29:17
Speaker
to help them understand their role.
00:29:19
Speaker
That doesn't mean they have to be there forever, but right now that's what it is.
00:29:22
Speaker
And we need them to be the very best at that role.
00:29:25
Speaker
And that role can change.
00:29:26
Speaker
Like you said, one play away, your role changes.
00:29:29
Speaker
You're all sudden dying out, right?
00:29:33
Speaker
And you might be the rest of the year.
00:29:35
Speaker
My second best offensive lineman this season broke his leg in the first play of the game in the sixth game of the season.
00:29:41
Speaker
We had eight more games after that without him.
00:29:44
Speaker
First play broke his leg.
00:29:45
Speaker
There was a backup that just got done doing warmup.
00:29:49
Speaker
The ball just got kicked to us.
00:29:51
Speaker
He thought, okay, well, maybe I'll get in at the end of this game.
00:29:53
Speaker
Very first second play he's in.
00:29:56
Speaker
It's go time.
00:29:57
Speaker
You're in the rest of the season.
00:29:59
Speaker
Like you are now, and that kid ended up playing in a state championship game where he
00:30:04
Speaker
at the kickoff of game six,
00:30:07
Speaker
He had no clue, no thought at all that he would even play at all.
00:30:11
Speaker
And he ended up starting in eight games, just like that.
00:30:15
Speaker
So, but we need to make sure they understand their role and keep them ready and talk with them because kids are going to have a hard time accepting that.
00:30:24
Speaker
And I think we need to be careful and not treating them so much like adults.
00:30:29
Speaker
They're not adults.
00:30:30
Speaker
We need to make sure they understand this is maybe the first time for some of them being in that role.
00:30:36
Speaker
And as coaches, and I'm speaking in the mirror here to myself, we have to be better at understanding that and recognizing the age of the kid, the situation, what they're going through, that this is going to be something they remember for the rest of their life.
00:30:51
Speaker
being a backup and maybe struggling with that, being embarrassed by that.
00:30:56
Speaker
And we have to make sure that we're helping them.
00:30:58
Speaker
And then coach and then parents, we need your help to not undermine the efforts that we might be trying to do to build that boy and her girl to be resilient and to fight back and to...
00:31:09
Speaker
That if you undo everything we're trying to do by how you talk about us at home, it makes it hard for the coach to build this boy into what, like this kid I just told you about, that we're trying to build them into, which is someday a super tough, resilient, really good player that they're capable of becoming.
00:31:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:30
Speaker
So that just reminded me of one thing, maybe my closing thought.
00:31:35
Speaker
We talked about Doug Meacham in our show prep for this.
00:31:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:39
Speaker
Lost a state championship game in basketball, and he's one of the best dudes and coaches you'll ever meet.
00:31:44
Speaker
But had a team, got there, and it's just part of the business, man.
00:31:50
Speaker
It's so hard.
00:31:51
Speaker
So, Doug, if you're listening, excellent season, and you're an awesome, awesome coach.
00:31:57
Speaker
What would you know about making it to a state championship game?
00:32:00
Speaker
I'm not just kidding.
00:32:01
Speaker
I'm not just kidding.
00:32:02
Speaker
And lose it.
00:32:03
Speaker
Oh, I know it very well.
00:32:05
Speaker
Yeah, I'm good at that.
00:32:07
Speaker
What I was going to say about Doug is his personal story.
00:32:10
Speaker
We probably need to have Doug on again.
00:32:13
Speaker
I love Doug.
00:32:14
Speaker
He got cut in high school his junior year.
00:32:18
Speaker
How many people do you know get cut from a high school basketball team their junior year and then end up playing on a college team that makes a run to the national championship game?
00:32:29
Speaker
But that's Doug Meacham.
00:32:30
Speaker
And he talked about how his mother responded and his mother like didn't.
00:32:35
Speaker
She was sorry for him.
00:32:37
Speaker
She was sad for him.
00:32:38
Speaker
And then she said, what are you going to do to make it next year?
00:32:41
Speaker
And he started right then to make it next year.
00:32:44
Speaker
And he told a few stories of parents, one of which a kid went all the way down to southern Utah to play in a tournament, traveled all the way down there.
00:32:52
Speaker
He didn't play much at all.
00:32:54
Speaker
And actually, he was thinking like, gosh, I probably should have got that kid in more.
00:32:58
Speaker
It was just an oversight.
00:32:59
Speaker
You know, he saw the kid talking to his dad in a tunnel, and then the kid came out.
00:33:05
Speaker
to talk to him and Doug thought, oh man, here we go.
00:33:08
Speaker
I should have played that kid more.
00:33:10
Speaker
And the kid looked him in the eye, shook his hand and said, thanks coach for all the time you've put into helping us have an awesome weekend.
00:33:17
Speaker
Thank you so much for the opportunity.
00:33:19
Speaker
And then walked away and Doug was like, that is a great father.
00:33:23
Speaker
He doesn't know what happened in that conversation, but he knows the son came and thanked him for the time and effort he put in, even though the kid hadn't played.
00:33:32
Speaker
And he told another thing that he did that relates to your last comment there.
00:33:36
Speaker
Maybe one of the reasons why he's such a great coach, wherever he goes, he has success.
00:33:41
Speaker
There are times where he will do film review and he will put the camera on the bench.
00:33:49
Speaker
And he will highlight the players that are bringing energy while they're on the bench to the teammates that are playing.
00:33:58
Speaker
And I agree with you, Dustin, on the coach side of thing, we could talk about the player side of thing, the parents side of things.
00:34:04
Speaker
And I'm sure it's really hard for coaches to do this, but my own children who've gone through, I've had two who've danced in their high school drill team, a really good high school drill team and, and went on and danced in college and,
00:34:18
Speaker
I have one who plays tennis and when their coaches communicate to them, I've seen life come into their life.
00:34:26
Speaker
You know, for example, that sometimes it's that just being in the dark.
00:34:31
Speaker
Does my coach hate me?
00:34:33
Speaker
Am I doing something to annoy my coach?
00:34:36
Speaker
Teenagers worry a lot about relationships.
00:34:39
Speaker
And I think kids can handle a role that they didn't anticipate having.
00:34:45
Speaker
If a coach will pull them aside and say, Hey,
00:34:48
Speaker
look, I really want you in this dance.
00:34:51
Speaker
I really want you in this dance.
00:34:52
Speaker
You do so many things that are awesome.
00:34:55
Speaker
We're doing an aerial to both sides in this dance because it gets so many more points when we do that.
00:35:01
Speaker
I hope you could get your left aerial or your right aerial because I would love to have you in this dance and have you bring what you bring to our team.
00:35:10
Speaker
So you work on that.
00:35:11
Speaker
And if you get that, we could put you in that.
00:35:14
Speaker
That feels a lot different than just all the sudden,
00:35:18
Speaker
You're not in the dance with no communication.
00:35:22
Speaker
Right.
00:35:22
Speaker
And with nothing like that.
00:35:24
Speaker
And so I found that the best coaches do communicate really, really well with their players.
00:35:30
Speaker
The players know where they stand.
00:35:32
Speaker
They know what they can do to get where they want to get.
00:35:35
Speaker
And they know what their role is.
00:35:37
Speaker
And they're encouraged in that role.
00:35:39
Speaker
And so I really love that you brought that up, Dustin.
00:35:41
Speaker
I didn't anticipate this going that much longer, but I think that's an important, important part of coaches trying to apply this, though none of us will do any of these things perfectly.
00:35:51
Speaker
Good episode, everybody.
00:35:52
Speaker
Keep your eyes up.
00:35:53
Speaker
Do the work.
00:35:55
Speaker
Thank you for joining the Especially for Athletes podcast.
00:35:58
Speaker
To learn more about Especially for Athletes organization, get a copy of our book, The Sportlight, or to bring our program to your team, school, business, or organization, visit us at especiallyforathletes.org.