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61. Life, Wisdom, and Spirituality with Christian Reeve
115 Plays1 year ago
In this week’s episode we welcome returning guest Christian Reeve. Christian is a podcaster, writer, actor, voice actor, musician, poet, marketing professional, and YouTuber from the UK. He’s what I would consider a polymath of sorts, which was the topic of conversation the last time he was on the show which was way back on episode 9. Here on episode 61, we take a deep dive into our spiritual journeys, the art of podcasting, and the meaningful life lessons that have shaped our individual experiences.
https://www.christianreeve.com/ https://linktr.ee/christianreeve https://www.youtube.com/@UC6RPwr4o9Lqdvwzm_Kbs1_w https://open.spotify.com/show/5nC7VOHrW3hPMkEgJFmPQY?si=3c8c147acd584b74 https://www.instagram.com/christianpkreeveofficial/
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Pursuit of Infinity, a podcast where we explore the depths of human consciousness and delve into the fascinating world of psychedelics. In this week's episode, we welcome returning guest Christian Reeve. Christian is a podcaster, writer, actor, voice actor, musician, poet, marketing professional, and YouTuber from the UK.
00:00:22
Speaker
He's what I would consider a polymath of sorts, which was the topic of conversation the last time he was on the show, which was way back on episode nine. Here on episode 61, we take a deep dive into our spiritual journeys, the art of podcasting, and the meaningful life lessons that have shaped our individual experiences.
Supporting the Podcast
00:00:42
Speaker
But before we get to it, as always, you can visit our website, PursuitOfInfinity.com, where you can not only listen to the podcast through our integrated media player, but find all the places you can follow us as well. If you enjoy the podcast, please consider a sub, a five star rating, or even a review. These things play a critical role in extending the reach of our discussions as widely as possible.
00:01:05
Speaker
If you're an avid listener and you want to show us some extra support, you can head over to patreon.com slash pursuit of infinity and become a patron. You'll get some great stuff in return. So head on over there and check out the details. Give us a follow on Instagram at pursuit of infinity pod. If you want to keep up with news, episode drops, memes, and just general musings.
00:01:28
Speaker
Also below, you'll find links to our Discord server and our YouTube channel, which is youtube.com slash at pursuit of infinity. All of our episodes are always posted there in video format, as well as an array of shorts that we put together on a regular basis. Now with all of that out of the way, thank you so much for listening and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.
Christian's Spiritual Journey in Estonia
00:02:04
Speaker
Hey, everyone. Welcome to Pursuit of Infinity. This week's guest is returning from, I think, Episode 9. Way, way, way back. Wow. So, everybody, please help me to welcome Christian Reeve. And Christian, thank you so much for joining me.
00:02:20
Speaker
Ah, it's always an honor and privilege to get to speak with you, Josh. You know that. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it, dude. And, you know, we've been on each other's shows going back and forth, keeping up with each other. And, you know, we've been friends now for a little over a year. You know, I've been seeing, you know, as your podcast is growing and as you're growing older,
00:02:41
Speaker
It seems to me that you're on a path of like self growth, you know, self development, physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. So am I right in saying that? Yes, I think so. I don't know if I told you this the last time I was here.
00:03:04
Speaker
But back when I used to live in Estonia abroad in Europe years ago, I experienced something akin to spiritual awakening. I know around here that's totally fine, but to some people listening, they'd be like, what's this guy on the belt, man? But everything shifted, to be honest, the way I looked at life. And I think that's why it's important to travel anyway, just to kind of gain a perspective of how the world
00:03:33
Speaker
Not only looks different, smells different, et cetera, but feels different wherever you go. It's like a shift. I'm sure wherever you live in the world, you've noticed even a shift such as like North versus South or something like that. It's like everywhere you go, it feels different. And that started back then. That was between the years 2017 to early 2020.
00:03:59
Speaker
move back and I've been in the UK ever since. And various different things have happened throughout the last three years. And I think particularly in the last six months,
00:04:12
Speaker
The biggest things I've stopped doing, which I don't know, it shifted for me, is I quit drinking, I don't smoke, I don't intake anything anymore, I just train, I try to eat well and try to
00:04:30
Speaker
Actually, there's a few other things. I've also paid more close attention to not only what I eat and stuff, but who I'm associating with and maybe the types of content that I'm either partaking in or consuming or whatever. I think it's okay to try a lot of different things and it's good to have a varied life.
00:04:57
Speaker
But sooner or later you're going to have to kind of spend more time focusing on and partaking in things that fit more closely with who you are as a person and what you vibe with. And I'm sure anyone listening has heard the expression, you know, like, Oh, you go, you got to find your people, you know, you got to find your calling, et cetera. I think for me in the last,
00:05:24
Speaker
maybe a year, six months, certainly, that started to click more. And bigger than that, I've started to acquiesce to, I've started to accept and be like, okay, well, if this is who I am, and this is what I am supposed to offer, let's run with it. And I'll give one quick example before we continue. So a shift I did recently was I changed all of my content to focus more on
00:05:52
Speaker
you're putting forward like positive messages, uplifting stuff, advice, whatever. I'll still post silly stuff here and there, you know, but mostly it's just like life lessons, life experience. It often just snippets from like, say a live stream where maybe I was talking about a particular thing and I just heard that and I was like, hmm, maybe other people will get something from that. And I've said this to you off air before, but I feel like shows like ours,
00:06:23
Speaker
You know, we probably began them just because we were passionate about making a podcast, talking about stuff, meeting people. But then there's a point where you keep doing it. It keeps clicking. It keeps getting better. And then you realize what you're creating is bigger than yourself. And that's the kind of position I'm at right now.
Professional and Personal Reflections
00:06:46
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't mention earlier, if anyone didn't listen to our last episode that you are a podcaster, voiceover actor, actor, you do a lot, a lot of things. Um, so before we get to that, I actually want to touch back on this spiritual experience that you had this spiritual awakening. Um, so where were you traveling and what exactly happened there? So I was living in Estonia. I moved there.
00:07:14
Speaker
Oh, tail end of 2017. I told the story a few times over on, on the net, but it's first time I've told it here. So here you go. I'd finished university. I was stuck as to the ever familiar story. I need a job, but in order to get the job, I need the experience. And so begins the catch 22 circle. And listen, you know, I was, I was working full time in a job I hated and I'd been doing it for close to two years at that point. And.
00:07:43
Speaker
I think I naively thought when I graduated, like, Oh, well, it all changes now, right? Like now is the beginning of the rest of your life. And to be honest, I never really wanted to do marketing. I just kind of, I gave up on my dreams years ago. Prior to that, I let people get in my ear and tell me, you know, stop chasing pipe dreams, kid, just, you know, get a real job. So.
00:08:07
Speaker
because nothing was going well for me at that point in my life. This is prior to university. I accepted it, did the degree. Three years later, I can't find work and I'm working for minimum wage. And I'm like, this sucks. What is this? I did this degree to get out of this situation. And at the time I was dating a girl from Estonia and, um,
00:08:31
Speaker
you know, I just remember very vividly like sitting down in a coffee shop and just kind of saying to her like, I can't do this anymore. I don't know about you, but I can't do this anymore. Like I just can't work in this place anymore and live this way. And she floated the idea very briefly about temporarily going there.
00:08:52
Speaker
Our plan, and this shows how naive and stupid we were, was, oh, we'll just go there, we'll save some money up, and then we'll come back, right? Now, I hate to say it, but if your plan is to move from the UK to Europe,
00:09:06
Speaker
Generally speaking, you're not going to make loads of money. I mean, it depends where you go. Maybe if you go Germany, or somewhere like that, there might be opportunities. But most European countries, it's like, it would be the other way around. Really, you'd come to the UK to make your money maybe or something like that. But again, this is always shifting. At the time, though, I think Estonia, or at least Tallinn, the capital,
00:09:31
Speaker
only really had like IT going for it. Everything else is just kind of like, it is what it is, you know? Point is there wasn't any money to be made there really at that point. So it was like, I don't know what we were thinking, but I guess it was more kind of like sit down, recollect our thoughts, plan something, come back. I think that was kind of what we wanted to go for.
00:09:53
Speaker
But you know, it's like three months turns into six months turns into whatever and I lived in a lot of different places while I was there. And this is where I can sort of talk more about the spiritual side of things. So I didn't just live in the capital. I also lived in the south of the country.
00:10:14
Speaker
different parts of the country who traveled all around. And I also lived for quite a bit on one of the islands off the coast of Estonia called Sarema. So there's two islands, you've got Huma and Sarema. And they're very similar to the mainland, but just, you know, the islands, people are a little bit different, as you'd expect in just different rural locations.
00:10:39
Speaker
The Estonians are very spiritual people in general. They have a lot of like belief systems and stuff that dates back traditions that dates back like hundreds of years. And I was witness to a lot of that. And I was very lucky. And despite of where things were at in my life, not everything was great. It was quite hard times. But I was able to be to witness things, I think maybe your average like
00:11:08
Speaker
person, tourist, if you want to call it that, wouldn't really see. And I was very grateful for that. I never took that for granted, despite what might have been going on in my personal life and everything. Things were always off balance, but I always made the most of them even back then.
Cultural Connections and Spirituality
00:11:29
Speaker
I think the point where it started to click as far as from a spiritual perspective,
00:11:34
Speaker
is how I felt when I went to certain places and how I learned to understand and have a greater appreciation for certain things. So everything from eating, drinking, spending time with people and just having time to think, you know, crazy thought, right? But sitting and being with your thoughts add a lot of time to think.
00:12:02
Speaker
And it wasn't always good. It was often quite dark and there were some extremely dark times. And I think.
00:12:11
Speaker
A lot of the work from a spiritual standpoint was split in two points. Firstly was a lot of the stuff I was experiencing as far as from a psychic perspective, knowledge I was acquiring, people I've met, certain forests I went to. I recall going to a particular forest at one point where there were the tallest trees I'd ever seen in my entire life.
00:12:36
Speaker
and you know sometimes you go to a certain place and you walk in there and the energy just hits you in a different way and you can't really explain it but you just know that it's a special kind of feeling like a special like a sacred place maybe maybe the sort of feeling you might feel if you were to go to like a monastery i felt it a lot when i was in that country i think
00:13:00
Speaker
And I sort of fell in love with different parts of the country, music. I hear and see things about the country. I keep in touch with friends and stuff. And it's part of me. It'll always be a part of me. And it's kind of bittersweet. Like a partner that, you know, like someone you really love and you choose to break up or something, and then it's kind of the end of it, you know?
00:13:30
Speaker
you never really stop loving them. You just kind of put them in that like box and you move on and you know, every time you open the box, it hurts. But it's I don't know, it's I owe that country a lot. I owe the people a lot. I think I built a career there in marketing. I think
00:13:55
Speaker
Just a bit of advice to everyone that's listening on the side note, if you get opportunities to travel, especially to live in another country, take it, don't be afraid, just go and live somewhere, even if it's for six months, a year, whatever, just do it. I can tell you now, you'll always look back on it fondly. And of course, our experiences will ultimately shape that. But don't let that deter you, you know, because good and bad things can happen wherever you go.
00:14:25
Speaker
You can never leave your hometown and have the worst life ever, you know. Don't be afraid to live life. Just go out there and do things because that's what life is about. It's about experiences that will shape you and make you into the best possible version of yourself you can be. So to bring it back to what I was saying about spiritual perspective, that's where it all began. And I think that's where I truly understood what it means to kind of be in touch with spirituality.
00:14:55
Speaker
And then when I came back to the UK, I think part of me was worried that maybe I'd fall out of touch with that, you know, because the UK is a very different vibe and feeling to Europe. It's just different. I think when you go to places that are more rural in the UK, like villages and seaside towns and stuff like that, people are a little more in touch with like,
00:15:24
Speaker
maybe things from a spiritual perspective. I don't know. I don't want to say it's really spiritual, but it's like, when I think of like British culture, for example, you know, I think more of like,
00:15:38
Speaker
how people come together and do certain things. I'm sure you've heard all the jokes about how we like to sit and have tea and stuff, but maybe what you don't always hear about is the fact that when we come together just to have a cup of tea or whatever, it actually is a comfort thing a lot of the time. It's not just about enjoying tea. It's like, be it if you're on your own or if you go visit someone, the first thing they'll probably say is, oh, I'll put the kettle on. We'll have tea, coffee, whatever.
00:16:08
Speaker
It's all about connection and being with someone. And I think there's a lot of spirituality here, if you'd know where to look for it and stuff. And to be honest, when I came back, I'd spent a long time resenting the UK. And I think a part of it was, I just didn't feel like I could really connect with people here. I didn't quite understand.
00:16:29
Speaker
Like I knew it was part of me because if you leave your homeland for any extended period of time, you'll start to realize and understand that it's a part of you. You can't escape it. But to the extent of which it's a part of you differs according to how much you invest yourself in it. You know, I'm very European facing. I'm very into like a lot of that stuff because I like it, connect with it. But I also connect a lot with UK culture too. So anyway, I digress. Like it's...
00:16:58
Speaker
It's all about that connection and how much you invest yourself into it. And when I sat down and started to kind of embrace the UK again, embrace what my life was to become and what it was gonna look like here and what I could do here and so on, I started to kind of, wouldn't say plan, but I started to think like, okay, whatever I do, maybe this is base, this is home, maybe.
00:17:25
Speaker
Because there's this expression, you know, home is where your heart is. And I don't know, like I, I always just kind of form a base, I don't really have a home per se yet. But I do kind of feel comfortable in the UK, you know, it's, it feels homely, in that sense.
00:17:43
Speaker
So the journey over the last three years has very much been building myself, building, I suppose, strength, understanding and unpacking years of experiences, trauma, bad times, because that's
Facing Loneliness and Inner Challenges
00:18:02
Speaker
the thing. You can run away from your problems, but eventually you have to like sit down and address them. Otherwise they just eat you alive. It's just how it works. And so I finally did that. And I think that.
00:18:14
Speaker
I began to understand a bit more about some of the problems I'm facing and the issues I'm facing. And like now, like I'm still facing a lot of the same issues, but I think I'm more honest with myself now about them. You know, it'd be things like like loneliness, for example, I've always struggled with that my entire life.
00:18:39
Speaker
But now I'm like, okay, so that's, that's the problem. That's, that's what we're dealing with. You know, and it's not like, I won't punish myself for it. I'll try and be fair with myself. And the reason why that's relevant is it comes from talking to myself. I think it comes from, from spirituality. It all stems from that. Prior to all of this, I'd say internally, I was very chaotic and emotionally like,
00:19:08
Speaker
disturbed. I remember one time I had this guest on my show, not even that long ago, within the last year. Her name is Vanessa and her iPhone. Definitely go check her out. She's really cool. I asked her a question I probably shouldn't have because I was just real big curiosity, you know. She was talking about like reads, she gets on people and stuff. And I was like, well, what's your read on me, right?
00:19:37
Speaker
I don't think I wanted to know, you know when you ask a question, you just don't want to know the answer, but I did. So I asked and she tells me I'm a tortured soul. And I'm like, I know she's right, straight away as soon as she says it. But it was weird to hear another person say it without any prior knowledge of me. That was weird. Um,
00:20:04
Speaker
You mentioned at the beginning of this that you noticed that there was a lot of change in me as far as the things I'm looking at and addressing and stuff. I think it stems from that, from me being honest with myself.
00:20:18
Speaker
Drinking, for example, I wasn't an alcoholic, but I had a bad habit. I was in a job where I was working a lot of hours. I wasn't taking care of myself as much as I should have been. And things were out of balance. And when things were out of balance, be it, you're not eating enough. You're not sleeping enough.
00:20:37
Speaker
you're not being social enough, whatever, like, it will catch up with you, and you will get sick, or something bad will happen or whatever. And things will come to a kind of equilibrium point again, they will rectify themselves, whether it's you doing it, or whether it's life doing it to you. And that's what happened. And I wasn't hard on myself, I felt bad at the time when it when it first kind of all fell apart, and I started to build from there. But then
00:21:08
Speaker
you know i went into work mode i was like okay well i'm not gonna sit and feel bad and sorry for myself i'm gonna work on myself that's what i'm that's how i work i'm not saying it's for everyone but that's what i do and so i started doing it but like if you take the gym as an example i approached it differently i started going okay well i'm gonna try this differently i'm gonna really give this a go and and make it the
00:21:34
Speaker
The change is necessary to actually make change. And I figured, well, I'll do the same with myself. I'll take time to rest. I'll take time to be out more. Some of the more, even more recent things I've started doing is just sitting down and reading more. You know, time away from the screen, less time on apps like say TikTok, which are bad for you, really bad for you.
00:21:59
Speaker
If you don't think they're bad for you, you've not realized they're terrible for your brain. They, um, create this kind of instant gratification stuff, which has an impact on your brain. And it's like, the thing is things are supposed to take time. You know, things don't happen overnight. Our shows are.
Podcasting and Personal Growth
00:22:22
Speaker
representative of that. We've both kind of hit our stride, but it's come for a lot of time and effort and patience. We could have given up at any point, but we didn't, because we both believe in what we're doing. And we should believe in it. It's good stuff. It's there's something there. But I think what's changed, as I said earlier, it's become bigger than ourselves. And that's key. When you're doing anything in life that's bigger than yourself,
00:22:48
Speaker
So you're always going to be more passionate and motivated to do it. Because if it's just for you, it's tricky. I don't know. Like when I look at the live streams that I do, I realized that I have a responsibility to those people to entertain to, to fulfill a promise of like, Hey, I'm going to be here and I'm going to entertain you. I'm going to bring something positive your way. I might not do it forever, but while I'm able to, I will do it and I will deliver.
00:23:15
Speaker
And I feel the same is true of the shows that we do. If our goal is to, in my case, to share stories and explore people's lives, in your case, to explore the human psyche and spiritual world and realms and fully understand what that means for us in existence.
00:23:37
Speaker
That's a journey that's never ending and can go in many different directions. And so long as our passion and motivation and highs in that, it will continue to be a good thing and we'll be able to continue to deliver that. Yeah, man. And one of the really amazing things about podcasting is that
00:23:57
Speaker
You know, you put out episode after episode after episode and you're grinding here and you're grinding there, you're, you know, scheduling people and editing episodes and releasing them and you're marketing, you're doing all these things. And in the background, what you don't realize is that like you are growing as a person during this process because you're both getting better at having a conversation. You're getting better at interviewing, you're getting better at expressing yourself. And you're also adapting.
00:24:28
Speaker
to the environment that you're in according to what a lot of your guests are saying. You know, you're adopting their perspectives, their viewpoints, and you're sort of adding them to your worldview.
00:24:40
Speaker
And I think that really helps with self-development, which is why I think everybody should do some sort of, you know, content creation, communication with, you know, audiences and other people. Uh, because with, with the digital age here, you know, we're offered these amazing tools that allow us to connect with one another from across the world. You know, you and I are not even close in distance to each other. Yeah. We're able to just, you know, hang out here and talk and discuss things and learn from each other.
00:25:09
Speaker
have each other on our podcasts, grow up together. So it's a beautiful thing, man. The journey really is amazing. Yeah, man. I was thinking about this the other day, like how, and you take these things for granted, like I remember first getting the internet and just being blown away that I could just talk to someone that was, say, in America. And now it's like just,
00:25:34
Speaker
easiest just switching on a program and hit record and that's it. But as you said, there's so much to learn from one another. And I think part of it comes from the wildly different upbringings, experiences day to day as far as societal values and
00:25:54
Speaker
just everything man, everything's totally different. You know, like I know nothing about your upbringing, but like I can just see that you're different to myself. But there's a lot of things we connect on, which again, I find that amazing to connect with people that are totally different from you different experiences, but you just connect on these base levels. Because you've kind of come to the same understanding about life for a different like,
00:26:21
Speaker
roots guys yeah it's like taking different roots to get to the same destination like oh how did you get here well i took this fruit you know it's like same thing um that's exciting i don't know like what you were saying there about like episode after episode after episode like i enjoy i enjoy the show more now than i did when i started and there was a period like everyone else has where i got a bit annoyed and i was like oh
00:26:49
Speaker
The views aren't there. It's not going where I want it to go. And it's like, that's when most people quit. But I was like, well, I still enjoy doing this. I just wish it had more reach. I wish more people would see it. And it got to a point where I was like,
00:27:04
Speaker
I wish more people would hear it because I'm getting so much from this. I don't know about anyone else, but I love it. As you say, you learn from your guests. You're like, oh, wow, I never thought about things that way. Or I'm always flattered when certain people want to appear on my show. I'm just like, wow. That blows my mind every time that they're willing to sit down and just talk to them. Or repeat guests like yourself, Josh, where it's back and forth and back and forth.
00:27:32
Speaker
That's such a gift, you know, to be able to get to do that and to build those kind of relationships and connections. I'm learning to be a lot more grateful, I think, in life. I've, weirdly, despite not being religious, I do kind of sit often every once in a while and just find myself like, I don't know if it's praying, per se, but it's kind of like, I'm just saying thanks. I'm like, thank you.
00:28:01
Speaker
to whatever's out there. Thank you for all I have. And I do that a lot. And what's interesting about it is I find moments where I'll stop, I'll look at everything for a second and I'll be like, ah, thank you. You know, just, you know what I'm saying?
00:28:22
Speaker
And sometimes it's more poignant. Like I was spending time with family recently and it hit me and I got really kind of sad. Like it was a really happy moment, but I was like, wow, like this won't last forever. You know, it's just the nature of life. Um, so all the more reason to be in it and be engaged in every single second and live life to its fullest extent. Um,
00:28:51
Speaker
I had a guest who was supposed to be on my show recently, an actor. He'd been on the show before. Everything was set up, ready to have him on the show.
00:29:02
Speaker
he doesn't show up. I'm like, Oh, well, I know I know this guy. Like, I know he's not like, flaky. So I was like, Okay, maybe something came up. I'm sure he'll get back to me. And it's that day's pass. Oh, this is weird. Don't see anything about him on social media. So I started googling his name. And I see like, reports that are concerning. But they're from like, dodgy websites. I'm like, that can't be right. Go on social media.
00:29:28
Speaker
Facebook, I think looking at people close to him and then it sinks in. The guy is unfortunately passed away in a car crash. And, you know, I didn't know him very well, but like I knew him, like I'd follow his stuff and whatnot. And.
00:29:49
Speaker
I think the thing that kind of threw me the most about it, and I've seen a lot of death in over the years, but I think the most poignant aspect of it was like, he just got in his car.
Philosophical Views on Life and Death
00:30:01
Speaker
He did a video like he always did, and posted it on like Instagram or something. And he just drove and then that was it. Just like that. And I was saying to a friend earlier today that like,
00:30:16
Speaker
a part of it kind of makes me angry, like pisses me off. Like, I don't know how to go about like, what the fuck? Like, you just like, you live your life, you work really hard, and it just gets taken away from you. But then the other side of this, I think, is maybe there's a lesson there to just really just make the most of every single day and moment as much as you possibly can, because tomorrow is just not promised.
00:30:46
Speaker
Sorry to bring it to such a deep sort of poignant level, but I think it's important to think about these things, you know, like, and I'm thinking about it more and more and more and more, and I don't take a single second for granted.
00:30:58
Speaker
That's powerful, man. Yeah, I think gratitude is one of the integral steps and even an integral practice on anyone's path to spirituality. Um, and another thing, obviously death, you know, it's a big part of the spiritual path as well, because when you start to think about spirit,
00:31:21
Speaker
It brings to question the paradox of life and death. And you start to think about what death is, you know, what comes after death. Um, so what are your views on death? I mean, you've had a lot of people on your podcast who've spoken to you about in your death experiences. You and I have spoken extensively about death on your podcast. So where do you land right now on death? What happens after?
00:31:54
Speaker
I think the answer is going to be a little bit disappointing, but it's just, I don't know. Like, but what I mean is I don't know what to believe because I hear people say, Oh, it's just blackness, nothing. And that's it. And I feel like that's a reasonable thing to say. I don't see anything illogical about that. But then also kind of look at it and I'm like, really all this to then just nothing.
00:32:21
Speaker
And then I start getting annoyed again. But like, I think my heart makes me want to believe that there's more to this. I think someone said to me a few years back, and I think this might be true. They said that our souls essentially choose everything prior to us, you know, inhibiting our
00:32:50
Speaker
vessels or physical bodies. So the idea being that you like you choose everything like you choose what your life is going to be, you choose the lessons you need to learn, you choose who your parents are going to be all these different things. But then in a way, it's kind of as it was explained to me, it's kind of like a game idea. So
00:33:10
Speaker
you might be unsuccessful, you might set these challenges for yourself. It's weird to think about like, you essentially like life is like a game, like you choose this game, like, oh, I'm gonna play this character and then we'll see how this goes. But I don't know, this kind of seemed like maybe plausible, but only from the sense of like spiritual growth, like, that you choose this life for yourself, you challenge yourself and you see if you can learn lessons for it, maybe.
00:33:38
Speaker
I also think about the fact that, you know, we're all interconnected. I said this to one of the guests that's been on your show. He's also been on mine, Jay Nelson, about this idea that this is something my dad told me that, you know, in everyone exists a part of you and vice versa. So you are everyone and everyone is you.
00:34:02
Speaker
And if you start looking at things like that, firstly, it will give you more compassion and empathy for people. But secondly, you start to realize that we're not all that different. The things that change us are circumstance, choices, you know, sometimes good people are forced to do bad things and bad people that do good things. And so much of life is driven by choice or lack of choice or laziness. You know, someone asked me the other day, like, oh,
00:34:32
Speaker
do you think most people are good? And I said, No, I think most people are lazy. And what I mean is like, not necessarily bad, just, you know, if me and you're walking down the street, and one of us gets like, in a serious accident or something, I'll run over, I'll help you.
00:34:52
Speaker
How many people will just stand and stare and pull out their phones? Now, you can argue, oh, that's a cultural thing. But even prior to mobile phones, I used to see this stuff. I've been in experiences like this. I think a lot of people probably just think, oh, well, someone else will come along. Someone else will do something. But the compulsion to be the one to do something is a tricky one. I remember one time being in a situation like this,
00:35:19
Speaker
The thing that kind of went to my head is, I have to be the one to do this. No one else is going to. And it was kind of a sad realization, but it was also like, well, at least I'm going to try and help. Like at least I'm one person trying to help. Offer this story actually, because it's interesting. So I'm waiting for a bus. I'm on the way to college. I'm like 15 years old, short, skinny, emo Christian.
00:35:49
Speaker
Um, so this is 2000s. The reason that's relevant is that our phones are crap. You know, we've got all these flip phones and stuff. Everything's like cheap and you know, not much technology, but people are still just like whatever on their iPods, like not really paying attention. Um, there's quite a few people at the bus stop people in the thirties, forties, fifties. And there's one other kid who's maybe like 12, 13 short scrawny like me anyway.
00:36:20
Speaker
We're in like a kind of like a bus shelter where it's like a U-bend type one. So like, there's buses terminating on the other side, waiting, and they'll probably be the same buses we get on. We're on the other side where we're waiting for the buses to come. I see this man walking from the other side and, you know, it's like nine in the morning, 10 in the morning, and he's really intoxicated, like really, really drunk.
00:36:47
Speaker
Um, he's really big guy, like very, very large man. Um, he's just stumbling all over the place. And then he basically trips over and like,
00:37:00
Speaker
I guess smacks his face on the curb. It looked really bad. I was like, Jesus, like I winced when I saw it. And then I just, I never forget this. His face kind of was buried on the floor. And at first I wondered if he was, if he died and he picked his head up slowly. And I remember him, his face and his lip was all busted and his blood pouring down over his hair. And it was just really horrible. And I froze for a second and I looked at him
00:37:28
Speaker
And in this moment, I was deciding what I'm going to do as a nearby train station. I can run to get help. I'm just kind of like looking at my options for a second. I turned to the left and look at all the people in the bus garage. And as I said.
00:37:42
Speaker
I remember there was a guy, particularly that stood out maybe early forties, just with his hands in his pockets. And he was sort of like glancing over, but not really doing anything. And I was just increasingly looking at all these people, not one person walked over or saw anything wrong with it. I was just kind of frustrated and angry.
00:38:05
Speaker
And as I decided in that moment, okay, I'm gonna help him. Like, I have to, someone has to. And I'm happy to be that person. It wasn't like a big deal. I'm not like some hero or something. It's just like, we gotta look out for each other.
00:38:20
Speaker
This is where it gets funny. So I didn't think about like how I'd help him. So as I mentioned before, I'm a really short, scrawny guy at this point. No muscle strength, nothing, like I'm just tiny. So I would go over to him and I'm like, hey mate, I'm comforting, trying to pick him up. And then I'm like, oh, and then in my head I'm like, hmm, I didn't think this through. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna pick him up. So I'm like struggling like, ugh, ugh.
00:38:48
Speaker
And then the kid, the 12, 13 year old that runs over and grabs the other arm. And can you believe it? Like two kids picking up a grown man because none of the adults would do anything like that. Such a sad story. But we managed to pick him up and we sat him down on this tiny seat.
00:39:07
Speaker
And everyone's asking me what to do. And I'm like, I'm a kid. I don't know. Like, I remember there was a guy that ran over from the train station. He was asking what to do. I had to tell him what to do. I was like, get him help, get him some water, get him some tissues, like, you know, use your brain. Like, you know, I don't know what else to say. Like, I shouldn't have to be the one doing this. But here we are. But he did it. He just ran off and did it. It was weird. I was like, OK.
00:39:36
Speaker
And then yeah, we got him, I think we got a taxi home or something, got him out of there. But point is like, you see the humanity in people come out the most when people help each other, I think.
00:39:54
Speaker
when they go out of their way for each other. I saw it a lot when I did volunteer work. I see it when I sit down and talk to homeless people and I give them some change, start chatting with them about their lives and stuff. It's there sometimes, but not always. And I think a lot of us, maybe we even want to help, but just aren't willing to try.
Helping Others and Finding Fulfillment
00:40:20
Speaker
I urge you to try man, throw yourself out there. You don't have to do a lot. I think a lot of people, they automatically assume like, well, what am I going to do? Like, I don't have any money. I don't have this. I don't have that. We have time. You know, you've got time. You sit down and you can talk to people. Like when I did volunteer work, that was my own time. I was volunteering, you know? I didn't even realize that was something I could do, but I did it. And it was one of the best things I've ever done.
00:40:46
Speaker
And I'd do it again, and I want to do it again in the future. It just becomes a part of you. Like, I remember they'd thank us every time we'd go. And I was like, you don't have to keep thanking me. You know, I love to do this. But they were like, yeah, but still, man, we appreciate you working hard, you know, like, and
00:41:11
Speaker
For me, it just became natural. But I was proud of that. I was happy with that because it was like, that's how it should be. It should just be like, oh, I'm going to go do this. I'm going to help these people now. You just do it. And it becomes as natural as breathing.
00:41:29
Speaker
Yeah, man, you know, life is all about connection, you know, and you feel that connection when you're helping people, you know, when you're doing something to aid your fellow man, you know, it's a lot like what your dad told you, you know, you see yourself and everyone. And when you saw that man fall over and smash his face on the ground, I'm sure part of you, you know, felt that for yourself, and you felt yourself in him and wanted to, you know, to be the one to go over and help, you know, I feel I feel like a lot of people
00:41:58
Speaker
especially bystanders of situations like that.
00:42:03
Speaker
They're looking for a leader, you know, in our, in our culture, you know, we, we have this, like this superhero aspect to, you know, how we've been raised in our entertainment. And we hope that someone's going to come along and be the hero and show us what to do and how to do it. And that really struck me when you said that that guy came over to you and he asked, you know, what should I do? You know, he's looking to you as the person who was like the leader. You know, I think a lot of people look for that.
00:42:32
Speaker
When situations like this arise, you know, and again, it's, it's all about connection, you know, whether you're talking about humanity, evolution, spirituality, like these things are all grounded in, in, in connection. And, you know, just as your dad said, seeing everyone as if they are yourself, I think that's a very advanced spiritual lesson. So your, your dad must've been a pretty spiritual guy. Still is still looking about. Um, yeah, I think, uh,
00:43:03
Speaker
It's interesting, we're different people. And it kind of goes back to what I said to you, but before about you meet different people and, you know, I haven't spent a lot of time around them, but we've come to the same spiritual understanding, similar spiritual journey. And I wonder about that. And I think that it stems from maybe looking for certain things, you know, but I think it's more you come to the same understandings because you're looking for the similar thing.
00:43:32
Speaker
trying to get the same sort of thing out of life. I think... I don't know what exactly it is I'm looking for, but I think... I guess maybe I'm trying to understand myself better for doing it. My sense of purpose. You know, I know I... I like to have... I'd like to not stress about things like money. I'd like to be able to travel the world and do all these amazing things you see other people do.
00:44:01
Speaker
But it's more because of what I know I would get from it. I couldn't get too shit about being rich or famous or whatever. I don't care about any of that. I care about experiences and people.
00:44:18
Speaker
Purpose more than anything else. I think it's really important for me to have a sense of purpose and Know that what I'm doing means something and I know some people that I list to be like well nothing means anything Christian, you know and I'm not saying you're wrong. I don't know any of us are right or wrong, but I know what I feel is right You mentioned before like oh, maybe you helped that man because you saw a part of yourself in him No, I helped that man because I thought it was the right thing to do
00:44:49
Speaker
I felt like I need to do I need to help him because this is how it feels like so many of my choices and in life are guided by that. And it's interesting because like, I feel I feel the battle between selfish person and and and the moral
00:45:06
Speaker
you know, I could think of so many times in my life, like nights out certain choices, decisions, choices to pursue certain people and not, you know, and it all boiled down to like, this is what the right thing to do is. And don't get me wrong, I'll be on the flip side, I've made the wrong decision as well in the past. And both of them come with consequences and positives and negatives. You know, often when you made the wrong decision,
00:45:34
Speaker
The main thing you lose is a sense of yourself. You disappoint yourself. No one can be as disappointed as you are in yourself. I guarantee you that. People will be angry. People will be upset with you. But I mean, they'll forget about you. They'll forgive you, whatever. But do you forgive you?
00:45:54
Speaker
Have you reconciled with that? What did it mean to you? Are you self-aware enough to recognize, oh, this is a mistake. It's not me. Or is that you? I feel like a lot of the time when people are continually making the same mistakes, it's because they either are blind to them or they refuse to accept them or they're just too lazy to take action. When I realized I had a problem with drinking,
00:46:25
Speaker
I was like, okay, well, I could just like cut back. And you know, even to this day, I'm not saying I won't ever have a drink again, because I know I could and it'd be fine. But I when I chose to make a decision on that, I wanted to do something that are you ready for it was spiritual, something that meant something on maybe a deeper psychological level, philosophical level, maybe, to me, it represented like, I'm going to clear this out of my body and mind and
00:46:53
Speaker
and focus on me and building myself. Maybe that's why you see me in a better headspace now, because I'm looking more at what I'm taking in, who I'm associating with. Even just videos I watch sometimes. Sometimes I sit there and I'll be like, do you know what? This is just too negative.
00:47:14
Speaker
Like it's, you know, I'm not saying like negative contents, not, you can watch negative stuff sometimes, you know, sometimes it's fun to, but just bear in mind, if you consume too much of that, it becomes you. It's, you know, it's the kind of, what do they call it? Self fulfilling prophecy, you know, you just, you get sucked into it. And it's inevitable, it happens all the time. You work in a,
00:47:41
Speaker
a crappy workplace and you're around that enough. Eventually, you're just going to become a cynic and be like, I hate this. But if you can detach yourself from it enough, then you'll be all right. But it's tricky, especially when you're boiled in it, like you're buried in it, boiled in all the home I talked about, buried in it. It's difficult to see the bigger picture, I think.
00:48:06
Speaker
But that's what it always boils down to, is what's the bigger picture, what's the purpose? What am I doing here? Why am I doing this? Why am I doing that? Like, I see a lot of people that, and again, I've been there, so this isn't like, oh, whenever I say this, it's coming from a place of experience as well. It's like, when you're just driven purely by impulse, or like, oh, that'd be fun, or this would be exciting. It's like, just because it's fun or exciting doesn't always make it the right decision.
00:48:34
Speaker
You know, the right decision is categorised by like, how it makes you feel, how it makes others feel. And is this for the greater good? Is this like a overall morally good decision? Is this going to lead to like, some spiritual growth, I think? Because that's another element to it. All the steps that I'm taking today are going to benefit me tomorrow. You know, um,
00:49:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:07
Speaker
Yeah, man, you know, and a very common pitfall, as you did mention, there is nihilism, you know, whether you're like you said, in a job where you're surrounded by disgruntled employees, and you're doing something that you hate, it's very easy to get caught in nihilism. And I think nowadays, it's especially easy, because if you turn on the news, whatever country you happen to be in, it is nothing but negativity. And
00:49:34
Speaker
If you engage with that negativity on social media, whether it be on TikTok, Instagram reels, Facebook, you're going to get that in return. That algorithm is going to continue to feed you what you're engaging in. And that can further lead to nihilism. So how do you avoid that in your life? But yes, continue.
00:49:53
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Well, that kind of leads into what I was going to say anyway. I just want to go to tangent quickly and then let's circle back to that. So the tangent is still relevant, though. I see these people on social media arguing Twitter, especially people arguing and arguing and arguing. And it's like I get being passionate about stuff. I understand. But you're just arguing with a stranger on the Internet. This doesn't fucking mean anything.
00:50:23
Speaker
If you're a loved one is like doing drugs and they're going to like, this is it for them. You know, like this could be the end of them. I get it, man. Go fucking nuts at them. Lock them in a cupboard for a week. If you have to just do what you need to do, take them to the Farabish yourself and sit down. They're like, do you know what I mean? I do what you need to do to save that person that you love. 100% totally get it. But when you're just.
00:50:54
Speaker
How do I avoid it? Well, I tell you how I avoid it. I look at my time that we have on this earth. And I think about how valuable that time is and what that time means and what it represents. We all have this time that we can use in different ways. And don't get me wrong, we're all in different circumstances. We're all dealt a different hand as soon as we're born. I'm very aware of that. But there's always opportunities.
00:51:25
Speaker
There's always chances to just take a risk. An educated risk, you've got to think about these risks, but a risk nonetheless. A bet on one's self. Right now I'm doing that. The sensible thing would have been if I'd have gone and pursued whatever, marketing a career somewhere else.
00:51:43
Speaker
I don't wanna do the sensible play it safe thing because there's nothing safe about life. Life is about taking risks and throwing yourself out there and seeing, well, how far can I take this? How far can I take me?
00:51:57
Speaker
You ain't going to impress anyone by playing it safe. You're not going to grow on a spiritual level either if you don't take risks. You know, it's not all about sitting down and reading books and, you know, going for like a two week trip to Thailand or some shit. Like it's about like actually investing in things that are good for your soul and good for you.
00:52:19
Speaker
And that's whoever's listening right now, like, you got to figure that out yourself. You got to like, really be honest and true of yourself and go, what is it that I reverberate with? What is it that when I wake up in the morning, I feel so passionate about this for me as acting.
00:52:35
Speaker
acting, voice acting, content creation, podcasting, all these things keep me alive. I'm fascinated every time I do it. I'm excited. I'm full of life in the same way I am when I get like really passionate about going to
Personal Growth and Overcoming Negativity
00:52:52
Speaker
a specific place. Oh, it's new. It's exciting getting on the plane or
00:52:57
Speaker
trying some new food for the first time or making passionate love with some girl that you really fancy. Like, I don't know, it's all the same thing. It's so exciting. It's all like, that's what life is about. Take the risk. Choose how you choose to use your time wisely. Because it can all be over. And you might sit and look and be like, oh man, I just wasted it on like pointless stuff. I wasted it arguing or
00:53:27
Speaker
just getting angry about things. And again, I talk from experience. I've been there, man, when I was like 19 or 20, I was so angry at the world. And like, you know, felt slighted, felt like, Oh, where was me? Everything crap, everything, nothing's ever gonna get better. And you know what, it did get better. But it got better because I had to turn around and make a change and actually do something about it.
00:53:54
Speaker
And a lot of that change came from like changing up my life, studying, going to uni, trying something different, trying to risk, trying something new. A lot of these people you see that are spending their time in ill fated ways, people, and you look at them, you know, why are you making these decisions? I think it's more because they're just not taking a bet on themselves. Maybe they're scared. Maybe they're insecure. There could be a thousand different reasons.
00:54:23
Speaker
I think it's up to us to try and inspire each other and motivate each other to go out there and live lives to the best of our ability. Try and reach as many people as possible and make them realize that their time is so valuable to use it wisely.
00:54:40
Speaker
Yeah, dude, you know, you, you talk about the people who you would see online fighting with each other over nothing over nonsense. You know, I, I was that person like to a pretty annoying degree, you know, I was the kind of person that I was a massive atheist. I loved to argue with people who were on the opposite political spectrum and people who were religious. And, you know, what I can say from experience is the reason that I did that.
00:55:09
Speaker
looking back on it is I, I was seeking acknowledgement. I was seeking validation externally from people around me because I wasn't able to validate myself. I didn't love myself. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what anything was when I started to broaden my horizons and started to read more and, you know, do psychedelics and, and just love more, you know,
00:55:34
Speaker
You start to really learn what life is about. You know, it's about connection. It's about love. And then you're able to open yourself up to things that previously had scared you because I think that's really what it is. We have a fear of what we don't understand. And a lot of times that fear manifests itself in aggression, violence, um, engagement on social media. That's super negative. And I think that's a lot of the reason why people do it. I mean, that's the reason why I did it.
00:56:02
Speaker
Yeah, no, I think you're spot on man. I mean, because when you really sit down and I just logic, just be reasonable about it and look at it with logic. Like you're not going to gain anything. Yeah. I mean, okay. The example you gave, but maybe the thing you could gain is you might be able to convince some people to look a different way, but that's not really gonna satisfy you. Not really. It might feel like a short moment, but I see it the same as like,
00:56:29
Speaker
taking revenge on people. It's like, it's not going to give you anything. You just carry it with you. Like one thing I noticed like when I wasn't angry at the world anymore, I felt a sense of weightlessness. Like right now, I just let things go. You know, I feel sad about it in the moment. Sure, I'll get angry. I got upset. And I just let it go.
00:56:54
Speaker
Because it's done. What's the point letting it linger? What's the point letting it you know, be frustrated like life just happens. It just happens to you sometimes shit happens. And it's frustrating. And it's annoying. Always upsetting. But it's up to you to find a way to learn something from it.
00:57:19
Speaker
Or just let it go. Sometimes there's no lesson at all. It's just life messing with you. And that's why it's good to have a sense of humor. Just have some fun with it, man. But you're right. I do think a lot of it is about validation.
00:57:35
Speaker
I think, I don't know about yourself, but for me, I just, I avoid drama and confrontation and stuff. I just personally don't like it, but I do understand the appeal of debating. I think it's interesting. It can sometimes get unique points of view out of each other, but so many debates I see, instead of it being like, hey, let's try and educate each other, it's more like, fuck you, you're wrong. No, fuck you, you're wrong. And it's like,
00:58:05
Speaker
Why does it have to be so disrespectful? Now, don't get me wrong. I know it can be very heated when it's like you're talking to someone whose views are like offensive to yours. I understand, but I still think it just is better to just approach it like.
00:58:21
Speaker
peacefully, you know, and just try to like appeal to their sense of logic and reasoning. Even if it appears that they didn't have any, just try anyway, man. Don't let others, don't let like, your disappointment in others shape your behavior, you know, like try to just be youth.
00:58:39
Speaker
It's the goal. Like what, what goal do you have in mind? Like, why are you debating? Why are you competing? You know, personally, I love competition. I'm a big fan of it. I grew up ever since, you know, from first grade up until I graduated
Love, Self-Improvement, and Inner Peace
00:58:52
Speaker
high school. I was a Greco Roman wrestler after that. I did amateur boxing. So I've been, you know, a competitor for my whole life. And I love competing. I love debating. It's fantastic. But what you have to.
00:59:07
Speaker
get down and get straight is what's your goal? Are you just in it to win? Are you just in it for the victory? Or are you in it for a deeper purpose? You know, it brings to mind this concept of what's called the infinite game versus the finite game. This is a concept that was written about in a book called infinite finite and infinite games by James cars, where he talks about
00:59:35
Speaker
The the point of a game, you know, the the games that are most worth playing are the ones that are infinite. You play them with the goal to continually be able to play them. You don't play the game in order to win or in order to see it till to its its finality. You play the game.
00:59:56
Speaker
as a point of playing it so that you can continue to play the game. And I think that's a really advanced concept and it's a great resource to understand, you know, what am I getting out of this? What am I getting out of competition? What am I getting out of all the things that I do in my life? Am I, am I just looking to a quick means to an end or am I looking to grow? Cause that's what competition is to me. You're, you're growing, you're getting better. You know, when I'm in the ring with someone,
01:00:24
Speaker
you know, I'm across from somebody who is on my team, you know, Sam training, you know, and I get in the ring to spar, there's somebody across the ring that I know wants to hurt me is going to try to come at me and attack me. But
01:00:41
Speaker
We are going to both attack each other in a way where we're growing. We're trying to learn. We're trying to better ourselves, you know, together. And I think that's what debate should be as well. When you see presidential debates, they're very different because they're, they're geared toward this argumentative, uh, like.
01:01:04
Speaker
very partisan dividing, like very divisive type of atmosphere, that's what they do. But they're worse though, because they don't even really like, at least with like an actual debate, they'll put forward like the legitimate points. And while it might be difficult to follow, because they're just shouting or getting emotional with each other, like there's still like, actual back and forth discourse, right? Whereas presidential debates, I feel like a lot of the time, it's just like a
01:01:31
Speaker
how can I best embarrass my opponent?
01:01:34
Speaker
You know, I don't know. Sometimes they will challenge them with like a legitimate point of view, but most of it's just embarrassed, embarrassed, embarrassed. And it's like, I get that that's a strategy. And I think it dates back to like Reagan's days. I think he introduced it, but I don't know. It has nothing strategy to win, not to grow, not to inform the public. It's a, it's a very different thing. That's the frustrating part. It works.
01:02:03
Speaker
Yeah, people love a character, don't they? They love charisma. But it's like, I can't believe that people think like, oh, yeah, that's who I want to run my country or lead my country. It's like, hey, look, every country is the same, man. UK is exactly the same.
01:02:19
Speaker
People love characters, but just because someone's an interesting character doesn't mean they're fit to run a country. It's a whole other thing. But I don't know, man. It's a tricky one. I'm with you there, man. Let's switch to something a little more uplifting. Kristen, what is love? And how do you love yourself? Oh my god. Wow.
01:02:51
Speaker
What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. You've seen those memes. They're brilliant. I think it's the best feeling you can have. I think it's beautiful because you don't really have to explain it. You just instantly know what it is. And I know there's different types of love.
01:03:23
Speaker
that you feel in life, but I feel like when we ask that question, the biggest one we're thinking about is like with this significant other. And it's something that's kind of eluded me a lot of my life, still does. But when I think about it, it's a lot like lovemaking. It's like, you just lose yourself in it. You kind of like hopelessly throw yourself into it.
01:03:53
Speaker
And it's a risk, but much like life, that's the point. It's like, when it's bad, oh my God, is it heartbreaking? It's devastating. But when it's good, it's like incomparable. It's like nothing else. If you're in love, it's ecstatic. It's like the best feeling you could ever feel.
01:04:23
Speaker
What was the second question? How do you love yourself? And I ask that for a reason, because to me, self love is like the ultimate form of love. And I like to say, like, love with the capital L. To me, like when someone asks me, like, what is God? What is the source? What is soul?
01:04:46
Speaker
To me, I answer that question by saying love with a capital L. You know, it's like, as you said, it's the only word that we don't really have a definition for. We feel into it.
01:04:58
Speaker
And when I've been in higher states of consciousness where I felt the oneness of all beings and the interconnectedness and also impermanence, life and death, all of that, there's been a foundation of love. It's the only word that I can use to describe the boundless feeling of pure consciousness and God.
01:05:29
Speaker
Romantic love is a doorway to that. Love for your family, it's a doorway to that feeling. Self love is one that I struggle with. I try my best. I could be honest, I just find it very frustrating. I can't count how many times I've heard someone say,
01:05:59
Speaker
You can't love anyone else unless you love yourself. I've said it. And it's true, but I go back and forth. I do everything I can to take care of myself. I think self-love is like treating yourself exactly how you would treat someone that you love. So you eat good food, you exercise properly, you rest properly, you do things.
01:06:25
Speaker
You know, to treat yourself, to be nice to yourself, you know? But we're self-destructive as beings, and when we're not happy, it can worsen, and it's a tricky one. I think in my moments when I feel desperately alone and unloved and unwanted and unsuccessful, and it's just a never-ending circle, unfortunately, I struggle.
01:06:55
Speaker
to self-love, but I do it anyway, because a lot of it comes from discipline. When I quit drinking, it really helped, because all I was doing was going out. I remember going out, feeling low, drinking and feeling worse. I wasn't drunk or anything, but I just walk home and I was like, why did I do that? Why didn't I just go straight home? Now I just feel worse.
01:07:25
Speaker
It's like, that's what you're doing. You're just like hurting yourself. But then when I started just like looking after myself a bit more and training hard, like it doesn't go away. Your, your feelings of feeling unwanted and unloved doesn't go away, but you at least feel like moments of happiness. I find them pockets of happiness. Like when I'm at the gym and I feel that way, I just train harder and it kind of works.
01:07:54
Speaker
or like something I started doing a lot recently, which is quite fun. Remember when you were a kid and you just wake up early in the morning and just have like a bowl of cereal and watch some cartoons or something? So I, hell yeah. So I essentially do that most mornings. I just wake up, maybe I'll have a bowl of oatmeal, maybe not. And I just watch like some shows that I'm watching and wake up. And that's how I begin my day.
01:08:20
Speaker
You know, I'll get what stuff done, I'll be productive, but that's how I begin my day. And it's peaceful, and it's nice. And that's self love, stuff like that. Remembering that just because you're not loved in the way that you want to be loved, that doesn't mean you can't love yourself. It sounds kind of fucking tragic, but it's true, man.
01:08:48
Speaker
It's tricky for me, because I feel like a hypocrite, because I always tell my audience, people that follow me, what they should do. And I try to exercise the same things, but it's hard. Because I feel so silly sometimes. I feel like, oh, I love myself. But then I'm very aware of how alone I am and how it's been a lifelong thing. And I'm just so sick of hearing, it'll come one day.
01:09:17
Speaker
when you least expect it. It's right around the corner. Stop looking. That's when you'll find it. You know, all of that. I could do all of it. But I don't know. It's true. Like every person I heard that's like met someone and fallen in love and everything's great. It pretty much always came when they just weren't looking for it. Or like they just completely disconnected from it.
01:09:40
Speaker
And for the most part, I do focus on me and what I'm doing and stuff. But I'll be honest, I do feel immeasurable feelings of inadequacy and feelings of failure, feelings of frustration, all of that. But I just choose to work on myself constantly because I know that like the
01:10:07
Speaker
alternative is not going to change any things. Like I guess I'm, I got like a sort of a pragmatic mind. So in my head, it's like, well, sitting and crying about it or going to a bar or doing something equally self destructive is just not going to make it better. It's going to make it worse. And then you've only got yourself to blame. And then that reinforces how bad you feel about it. And it's just a never ending cycle and spiral. So you might as well just do positive stuff.
01:10:36
Speaker
towards yourself and just, I don't know, hope for the best. And there will be, as I said, pockets, happy things. You know, like I made a really good friend recently, and it's been really lovely spending time with them. And I'm very grateful for that. And I told them today about like how grateful I am for that. So there are moments of hope, there are little things here and there. Like don't give up. 100% love yourself and
01:11:05
Speaker
make that like your main focal point for anything. Yeah, man, it's messy stuff. You know, I, I feel the same the same thing as you do. You know, I feel a lot of that.
01:11:20
Speaker
that is ever permeating feeling of just not being good enough, no matter what you do or who you become. And, you know, to me, I think it's, it's almost a good thing to have that because you have high expectations for yourself, and you want to do good and you want to be better. And I've noticed that a lot of people that have that type of attitude also have
01:11:47
Speaker
this ever present feeling of not being good enough and, um, you know, really accentuating their failures. And I do the same thing. You know, there's, there's some days where I think like, man, I love myself. I'm awesome. This is fantastic. And then other days where I'm like, man, you are a real piece of shit. I hate you, you know, and it's like this, it's so weird because one day can be love. The next day can be hate.
01:12:15
Speaker
But it's part of the human condition, man. And I think it's, it's part of acquiring emotional intelligence as well. You know, the farther and farther I get along this path, you know, the, the more the repressed things come up, the more the stuff that I'm trying to push down and push away just brings itself forward. You know, as you said earlier, you know, eventually you have to face the darkness a lot of times. And.
01:12:43
Speaker
Maybe it is pragmatic, but the only way to face the darkness is with love and light, you know, whether it be for yourself, whether it be for the people around you. Um, and I think the same thing goes for, you know, as we were bringing up before, when people were having political debates, when people are arguing online, you know, the only way to get past those types of inner environments and interactions are with love and with light, you know? Um, and I know that.
01:13:13
Speaker
The reason spirituality is such an important part of this is because a lot of people gain this from spiritual practice, you know, whether they be, you know, meditators or, you know, they're doing psychedelics or they're even podcasting, you know, all this stuff. To me, these are all meditations. Doing the dishes is meditation to me. You know, I find any time that I can to
01:13:36
Speaker
To be with myself, to try to love myself and to have gratitude as you brought up earlier, man. You know, connection and gratitude are such important parts of these journeys. I like washing the dishes too. It's like weirdly gratifying. I think it's because it's so easy. Maybe that's why. And it's like.
01:14:03
Speaker
Instant gratification. It's like you see how clean the dish is. It's like.
01:14:09
Speaker
It's like you've done this thing, you know, you put your effort into this thing and then you see your sink empty out and it's all nice and clean. And then the next day you go and you grab a bowl or something to fill up your cereal and you're like, hell yeah, I did this. You know, and then you put it in the sink and there's only one bowl and one spoon in there. And it feels nice because you're, you're maintaining your environment, you know, uh,
01:14:33
Speaker
psychologist Jordan Peterson, although he is very controversial, in my opinion, he's one of the most misunderstood people in the history of the world. But he always would say,
01:14:44
Speaker
Before you try to go change the world, clean your room. Maintain your space. That's where you start. You start with the small things. Cleaning your room, doing the dishes, cooking your food, maintaining your life, taking a dog for a walk. Do the things that you have to do. Take care of yourself and your basic needs. And then you can begin to start to project your political views on the world and change it.
01:15:09
Speaker
I totally agree. It's like what I was saying earlier about like not being chaotic within. That's kind of why I was driving out with that point. It's like, I've noticed something which is interesting in my life is that I'm
01:15:24
Speaker
able to give a lot of advice and wisdom based on what I've gone through and experienced. And I'm quite calm to it because I've just been through it now and I'm quite honestly quite tired of it all. I'm just like, well, I know what to expect and I had a deal with it. It's fine. I'll get through it. When there's like travel, like for instance, right now I'm struggling to find work, right?
01:15:48
Speaker
And so like my anxiety kicks in and I'm like, who am I gonna do? And then I'm just like quietly telling myself like, listen, we've been here before, we've been in worse situations than this, and it was fine. So what are you worrying about? And then my mind's like, Oh, well, okay, but still, it's like, just just get a rest. But like, I find this funny, like,
01:16:10
Speaker
I'll be there giving that kind of advice to other people and I'll take it on board and it helps and they're really thankful and it's nice to see that. But then when it comes to myself, like, I don't know, I just kind of, I mean, I don't know, I kind of seek advice from like a lot of different sources actually.
01:16:30
Speaker
I found some really good stuff online and it kind of goes back into what I said before about seeking out like positive content. Is it stoicism? Is that how you say it? Stoic. Stoicism is definitely a philosophy. Yeah. It's a good philosophy to adopt. That stuff and also just like positive affirmations and good like advice from various sources I found on YouTube about being a better person and
01:17:00
Speaker
That stuff helps. I try to consume that as much as possible and just read more guys, read more, try and try and take the time to read. That's really important. Yeah, man. I like to listen to people who can.
01:17:16
Speaker
describe to you what they've done wrong, and then sort of how they transformed. And also to understand, like I listened to a lot of Ram Dass. He was a prominent spiritual teacher. And
01:17:32
Speaker
A big message, one of the most integral parts of what he talks about is that he still, even at his highest spiritual enlightenment, so to speak, um, he still has the same neuroses, the same issues that he's always had. You know, he, he talks about it as being, you know, instead of mountains, he has to climb over. His neuroses are now like little, little anthills. It's like.
01:18:02
Speaker
The goal of trying to get rid of yourself, trying to eliminate the things that make you who you are, whether they be neuroses or, you know, mental health troubles, whatever it may be, like trying to just eliminate that from yourself. It's almost like a form of non acceptance. And I think it's important to accept who you are in every single way.
01:18:23
Speaker
And maybe that is a good road forward to becoming who you think you should be, becoming a better person, becoming more spiritually aware. I like this idea of accepting you can't get away from it.
01:18:41
Speaker
Like I feel that way about my anxiety, because, and there's people that said, I go, why don't you take pills? And why don't you get therapy? It's like, I don't want to, I can manage it. I know how to, if I felt the need to, I would, and I would say anyone listening, if you feel like you don't have control over it, go seek help. But if you feel like you got control over it, it becomes more about, yeah, just putting it at bay, talking to yourself.
01:19:10
Speaker
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you can have. So you got to make it a good one. You got to make it a positive one.
Taking Risks and Building Confidence
01:19:19
Speaker
And you got to like, be fair with yourself as well. You know, be patient, be calm, always be calm. And then the answers will come. But it's like, you know, it doesn't happen straight away. And it is going to be frustrating, challenging.
01:19:38
Speaker
And you're always going to have those thoughts as well. Like, I know I'm not a failure. I know I've achieved things. I know that there's positives and I know I can see that. I feel good about things, but there's always that voice in the back of my head. Always. And I choose to just kind of.
01:19:59
Speaker
not ignore it per se. I take on board what it has to say in the same way I take constructive criticism on board. But to be honest, the voice doesn't really serve me because a lot of the time it's like, oh, you haven't done this. Oh, you haven't done this. And it's like, well, when I do start doing some of those things, suddenly that voice is really fucking silent. And it's like, well, come on, be vocal. Why have you got nothing to say?
01:20:25
Speaker
And of course, because it's supposed to be a negative voice, it's supposed to be something that's driving you away. It's fear driven. It's not, it's not interested in success or you achieving your goals. It's just trying to stop you from being the best version of yourself. And that's kind of like the key in all of this, you know, it's just trying to push that voice aside and just do it anyway.
01:20:49
Speaker
You know, I'm sure you've had someone turn around to you in your life and tell you, you can't do this. I mean, are you going to listen to them or are you going to do it anyway? And same thing when you list, don't listen to them and you do it and you go up to them and you're like, Oh, look, I did it. They got nothing to say. Or maybe they'd be flipping and be like, Oh, the fluke, you know, whatever, man. Fuck it. Just do it.
01:21:17
Speaker
Yeah, man. Yeah. You know, anxiety, you know, these, these intrusive negative thoughts, you know, to me, they're like alarm bells, you know, they're, they're parts of yourself that are trying to communicate a need that's not being served. And it's your responsibility or, you know, in my case, I feel it's it's my responsibility to
01:21:38
Speaker
adopt those parts of myself that have unmet needs and give them love and give them understanding and try to meet them where they are. Even if it's irrational, I try to love that part of myself and say, what is it that you need? What am I not providing for you? How can I help? How can I adopt all the parts of me and create a more whole being within myself? Yeah, I started addressing that more recently.
01:22:07
Speaker
You know, like I mentioned being alone and like how I struggle with that. Well, I take more risks. I try to befriend people and stuff. I try to go on more dates, you know? Like I said, I wasn't going to do that, but fuck it, man. What do you stand to lose? It always feels pretty good when you end up doing it and you end up trying, you know? And even if it's a failure, like I feel like the bigger failure is to not try.
01:22:34
Speaker
That's always the bigger feeling. So many people you meet that just won't try things. And they're like, why? What's stopping you? And they're afraid. Like, I remember I was doing these acting classes at the beginning of the year. And there was a guy in my class who was brilliant, really funny.
01:22:50
Speaker
really like, you know, he'd clearly been studying a while. I remember talking to him before class one day and I was just, you know, shooting the shit and I was like, oh, this is what I've been applying for. And I asked him like, what have you applied for recently? And he just kind of sternly looked at me and he was like, oh, I haven't applied for anything. And I was like, why? And he was just,
01:23:15
Speaker
basically just said like, I just don't have the confidence in myself to do it. And I'm like, but you're so good. Like, you're really talented. Like, it was weird. I mean, he was clearly thankful to hear that. But I don't know. Like, he was also very honest, which I admired. Like he, he felt like he wasn't good enough to try just yet. But it's like, you kind of just got to ignore that voice.
01:23:44
Speaker
And just, as I say before, I know I'm repeating myself, but just try anyway, especially when you're in the beginning stages or something, like when people go like, oh, I can't do it because I'm not very good. It's like, well, of course you're not very good. You've never done it before. You know, go back and listen to the first episodes that me and Josh did of our shows. It's probably not that good. I mean, I think probably mine was worse than yours. I don't know about that, man. Mine was definitely worse.
01:24:13
Speaker
But no, you hit your stride after a while, don't you? But at some point, you sat down, you're like, I'm going to give this a go. And you just keep trying. And you keep trying. Listen, I don't even get rejections. I just get ignored, which is almost worse than getting rejected, be it women, auditions.
01:24:37
Speaker
you know emails or send out you know whatever man um but i'm still gonna try anyway because why wouldn't you just you know you're never gonna know unless you try yeah i love that man and you know something else that i think is
01:24:55
Speaker
One of the more important things that we haven't really spoke much about is getting to the gym. Like you were saying a little bit earlier, man, working out, getting yourself in shape is, it's such a game changer when it comes to confidence and self-worth. So how has that been working out for you? I know you've been working out for quite a while now and I've been seeing your progress and it's fantastic. Thanks, man.
01:25:21
Speaker
I was saying to a PT friend of mine the other day that like, for me, it's a lifestyle. It's part of life now. It's not, I've trained in the past.
01:25:30
Speaker
You know, it's not the first time, but when I chose to this time, it was like, okay, I'm going to approach this in a way I've never approached before. I'm just going to like give it my all. I'm going to go several times a week. I'm going to listen to any advice I get. I'm just going to really give it my all. And I'm going to get serious with the diet too. Cause the diet is the most important thing guys. Um,
01:25:52
Speaker
But also the consistency, I think a lot of people get caught up in like, Oh, I need to like go gym two hours every four, four days a week. No, you don't. Like you can go like half an hour, two or three times a week. And that will achieve the same thing. It's it's consistency and discipline that I'm pushing yourself. You know, yes, it's going to be hard. It's going to be painful. It's going to be tough.
01:26:18
Speaker
And to be honest, it's about understanding that every, see, that's the thing Jim is so good because it's a metaphor for life. Like when you're there, when you're doing stuff, like everything has life lessons in it. You just see them constantly over and over and over again. And like.
01:26:35
Speaker
if not that, like when you read about it, when you read all these people that used to be bodybuilders or still are like they they're all real philosophers, they're all, you know, they've learned a lot because Jim teaches you about life. Because of course it does. It's you're working on yourself. And through self improvement, you learn so much about life and yourself and the importance of consistency and discipline and strength and
01:27:02
Speaker
overcoming weakness and what weakness really means because I think people misunderstand that as well. I think people think our weakness that just means I'm not strong. It's like, no weakness is to do with like, eliminating this belief in your mind that you can't do something. You can do it, and you will do it. But it's a journey. It's not a sprint. So it's not a race. It's a marathon.
01:27:31
Speaker
which is technically a type of race, but it's a really slow race there. It's given me so much. I think the biggest thing it's given me is a sense of
01:27:48
Speaker
confidence that I didn't have previously and it has nothing to do with like how I look. Sure, I like it. I like looking better feeling better, of course, but everyone I know that goes gym and has done for a long time will tell you the same thing is that it did wonders for their mental health. You know, I look on the board.
01:28:08
Speaker
In the gym I go to and there's all these like adverts for the people that work there that are also PTs and they all mentioned in their blurbs like oh this helped my mental health or I did this for mental health but they all put it there and yeah you can argue that's like part of marketing you know they're trying to factor that in but I I can tell when I talk to my friend like you can hear it you can you can tell that it means something on a deeper level and
01:28:35
Speaker
And hey, it's fun, man. It's kind of addictive. You gotta be careful just like anything else. But I think it teaches you a lot about yourself. I think it's taught me that I'm stronger than I realized. I think it's...
01:28:56
Speaker
taught me about the nature of patience and discipline and what that really means. You don't get the results straight away. Even this podcast game that we're on now, I was told about a year ago, some show I went on, I told them that I'd been doing it two and a half years at that point and they were like, wow, that's pretty,
01:29:16
Speaker
knew all things considered. And I was like, really? And they're like, yeah, most shows have been going like five years before they even approach anything. And I was stunned to hear that because I've done like hundreds of episodes. And it's been going years. And I kind of just sat there and was like, oh, I guess my show will never make it. But it's like, to be fair, there's just so much competition. There's so many people out there doing the same thing.
01:29:42
Speaker
But the thing that stands out, the thing that will actually bring you the results and bring you the progress, and this is where the connection back into gym is, is through consistency and keeping on doing it and never stopping doing it. That's what will bring results.
01:30:02
Speaker
with the theme of things never ending that we were talking about earlier, like gym is limitless, it will never end. There's no day that you walk in there and you work out and you're like, okay, I'm done now, that's it, I've completed gym. It doesn't work that way. But you achieve your goals and then you're like, oh wow, what more can I do? And then it's like,
01:30:24
Speaker
It's almost like having a game with yourself like, how far can I take this? What can I achieve? Some days I walk in there and I lift a lot heavier. Other days I lift not as heavy. I learn how to be patient and accept that sometimes I have less energy. If I tweak something, I'm like, stop. We're not going to exercise anymore.
01:30:45
Speaker
you know like learning to be careful on not push things and know when to like pull back you know it's I had to go on all day about what I learned from the gym but it's given me a lot spiritually and mentally and
01:31:03
Speaker
I think when you try to internalize it as something that's part of your life, unless a thing you have to do, then it's much more positive. I like going to gym. I look forward to it. It's fun. Sometimes it does feel a bit like, I don't want to go today, but often those ironically tend to be the best sessions.
01:31:26
Speaker
I think because they feel more gratifying after you've done them because you remember the fact that you didn't initially want to go. But you do go in phases. Sometimes you aren't as interested. You need a break. You come back to it. You're invigorated again. It's kind of the same as anything else. Spend time away from someone you love. You're going to miss them like crazy when you see them. It's just the way things are.
Conclusion and Future Topics
01:31:51
Speaker
Be patient. And it'll be a real positive in your life.
01:31:57
Speaker
Yeah, man, any journey is, you know, it's meant to be taken one step at a time. And as long as you're doing something to better yourself today, you know, to make yourself a better person than you were yesterday.
01:32:11
Speaker
That's what the journey is all about, man. And it looks like our journey here today is coming to a close. It's been a great conversation, man. I love going deep with you. Can you tell people where they can find you? Sure, man. Firstly, I just want to say massive thank you for having me on the show again. I really love
01:32:32
Speaker
what you do here, I really respect it. And I want you to keep doing it because I think it's brilliant. And of course, all your listeners know that, but I just wanted to let you know that that's, you know, I really admire what you do and I really respect it. I think you're brilliant.
01:32:46
Speaker
I appreciate that so much, man. And I feel exactly the same about you. You know, I, I look to you and your show as inspiration and motivation because I think you're such a great interviewer, such a great speaker. Um, and I really just, I appreciate what you do as well, man. Right back at you. Um, you can find me.
01:33:08
Speaker
If you just search like Christian PK Reeve online, you can pretty much find everything, but I do have like a link tree and a YouTube account, podcast. I'm sure Josh will put the links in the description, but that's the main places you can find me. Of the shows that I do, there's the Christian Reeve podcast. I also do a show on my Patreon at patreon.com slash Christian Reeve called Life with Christian Reeve.
01:33:35
Speaker
where if you like the sound of my voice, that's the show for you. And it's just like sharing life stories from my life or going deep dives on certain topics and whatnot. And the podcast is more just kind of like interviews, sharing life stories, deep dives on topics with wonderful people like Josh, for example.
01:33:56
Speaker
where we explored, was it life after death, near death experiences. And we're going to do a show very, very soon on UFOs. Yes. I'm excited for that one. It's a cool topic. Yeah, man. Thank you so much for having me, man. It's been an absolute honor. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on, man. I appreciate you.
01:35:24
Speaker
you