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Ep. 49 Goblin Lessons - Bellum Draconis
124 Plays1 year ago
Episode 5 of 6 from our Goblin Mini Series.
Follow us on our Twitters - @FellowshipTable
Intro written and produced by Joseph McDade
Music kindly provided by Fesliyan Studios
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes. Can you just run that by me one more time? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Don't don't don't stab me. You're a bit of a slow learner, aren't you? Yes, yes I am. I also don't shit myself in the house. But anyway, I opened the door and I went in the poo room.
Introduction to Bellum Draconis
00:00:34
Speaker
you
00:00:55
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Fellowship of the Tabletop, Bellum Draconis. We are a live play 5e D&D podcast set in the magical homebrewed world of Eryth in the Kingdom of Sleepguard. My name is Mark and I am the Dungeon Master. And also with us for this week's episode, we've got Darren who plays the halfling Bluey. Hello there! We've got Sarah who plays the goblin Grona.
00:01:16
Speaker
Oh hello! James, who plays the goblin, Doric. Charmed. And Callum, who plays the goblin, Musk. I wanna go home. And Casey, who plays the goblin, Goboy. Bonjour.
00:01:32
Speaker
Very nice, very nice. And welcome back, everyone. Good to see you all. We've made it through.
Mimic Chest Struggles
00:01:37
Speaker
Finally, after two episodes, that bloody room, which was either a work of genius or a work of nightmare. There's not much to really recap. We did the same thing eight or nine times in the last episode, which was try and figure out a puzzle to match the the room of the mirror within the room of the room.
00:01:55
Speaker
with a chest that was a mimic chest that just consumed people. Growner, you sacrificed yourself three or four times to be eaten to hellish rebuke, and the idea was you had to destroy the chest, get everything, and suddenly it reset one final time and we were back in the room.
00:02:11
Speaker
everything had gone, the candles had gone, the mirror had gone, but the chest had remained in the middle of the room. And everyone had just kind of come through this horrific, horrifically quick form of combat. I gave you a six minute physical cap on your combat round, the whole round each time before it reset. And this is where we find ourselves in Hasselthorpe Manor, trying to clear this place, just being stuck in this room for the last two weeks, the last two episodes.
00:02:37
Speaker
there's a silence in the air and all you can hear is the quiet breath as each of you look around each of your small goblin forms look around listening trying to sense any permeations perturbations vibrations that might give way to the belief that this again might be a repeat but something seems very normal you look behind you through the doorway you can see the corpses of the spiders you can feel the breeze in the room
00:03:06
Speaker
You're back in reality. Or so it seems. What would you like to do? I think we've done it. This tumultuous illusion has been finally quelled.
00:03:20
Speaker
You mean I'm not dead anymore? No. Far from it, cowboy.
Snack Break and Banter
00:03:25
Speaker
Far from it. That's good. Good news. Um... Do we have a snack? Musk? Um... I think I left all my flowers and weeds outside.
00:03:37
Speaker
Oh, okay. It's okay. It's okay. I'll go and get them. I promise I'll be definitely right back with those things. I'm not going to run away. Yes, that's definitely what I'm doing as I back towards the door. Do you want another clothesline, mate?
00:03:55
Speaker
I do not want one of those and I dare say that because you said that, that means that you're not going to let me escape unless we finish what we come in here for and therefore I have to come with you and assist you with whatever is upstairs. That sounds about right. Good. That'll be fun. Just before we go anywhere.
00:04:20
Speaker
And you will all notice some very exasperated breathing coming from Musk right now. I think I need a break. What? Do you need to go for a poo? Maybe. Also, I think I'm still a bit hurt.
00:04:43
Speaker
From the jerseys in me. OK, everyone turn around. Everyone turn around. You can pull in the mimic. OK. And a Godboy will just put his hands over his eyes, maybe peek through two of his fingers. Oh, I don't know. Me personally, I don't know if I dare try and open this thing just in case it does devour me again. What Musk is actually probably going to do, considering he's already eaten him with his open it, he's probably going to go around the back.
00:05:16
Speaker
drop, trowel and dump right
Musk's Antics with the Mimic
00:05:18
Speaker
next to it. Absolutely. You're actually dumping. Yeah, why the hell not? He's going to try anyway. He doesn't actually need to go, but he's going to try. I think the rest of us will need a constitution check for what he's about to do. A constipation check. On my constipation check, I got a 40. Yeah.
00:05:37
Speaker
of the chest instead.
00:05:46
Speaker
I'm not going to describe it. No, no, don't. No, in the process of pooing behind a chest. In the chest, Mark. In the chest. No, it's behind. I went behind. I'm not going to describe it. I was going to say, all you guys hear is grunts and noises and that kind of stuff. That is it. Can I leave the room? I don't want to listen to him groaning and noises.
00:06:13
Speaker
It's your fibrous diet mask, that must be it. Yes, you managed to successfully do your business, but in the process of it, your butt cheek touches the chest and you realize it almost backs in for a second, you remember like it was...
00:06:27
Speaker
Anything that touched this chest, it came to life in your mind. Your left cheek grazes the back of his chest. The back of his chest. And you hold your breath thinking, am I gonna get eaten again? Is this gonna repeat again? Nothing happens. Nothing happens. You just feel the damp wood of the chest against your buttocks. You're gonna hear Musk just kind of pull his trousers back up and he's gonna come back out from behind the chest and thought,
00:06:56
Speaker
I don't think this thing's hungry anymore.
Scythes and Jokes
00:07:01
Speaker
And Bluey has had a moment of horror as he started to just hear the trousers coming down and hear the noises. So what he does is quickly remember his actual reason for being here. Takes out his notepad, writes down a single sentence and then just follows Growner out the room. So before you say that, Bluey has also gone. So he's followed Growner out of the room.
00:07:23
Speaker
So there's just the three of us left in the room. Yep. Listening to Musk. Well, once Musk has zipped up his pants and things, Godboy says, just dust yourself off. Just thinking, Musk, you make the same noises as Godbot does. Who was?
00:07:47
Speaker
Yes. Or maybe I know them. Maybe we're related. Many a times when we shared a poo-roo. Why am I still stood here?
00:08:04
Speaker
I don't know. Do you need to poo? I've got my ear to the door and I believe I've just heard God always say poo room. Is that something amongst your, is that something that's like a cultural thing for goblins? I'm not judging. Oh aye, we've all got a poo room in our shack. Aye, where to have things do a poo like?
00:08:27
Speaker
Well, in the lava tree. What do you mean by we do a poo? What do we do in the toilet? Well, the poo has got a toilet in it, aight, but you just call it the poo room.
00:08:38
Speaker
What? You suppose Musk's toilet has a poo room in it because he's just taking the shit behind the chair. Maybe his... I don't know, right? Like my shack's got a poo room with a toilet and sometimes you do poos in there and sometimes you do weeds but we just call it a poo room.
00:09:01
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry. Just also, there is something bad up there. You've remembered that, right? Maybe we should... I mean, this all started because he said he wasn't feeling well. I don't know how it's quite led to pooing. Give me a second, I'll knock. I'll just knock on the door. Hello? Occupied! Yes, of course.
00:09:29
Speaker
When you're quite finished, we need to decide what we're doing next. If you need a rest, I suppose we'd better let you do that, but it smells quite bad in there now. You may wish to come out here. I don't belong.
Debating Rest in Enemy Territory
00:09:44
Speaker
I have finished, but the chest that kept eating us is no longer hungry. I wonder if he's got any leftover food.
00:09:54
Speaker
I probably, I probably might need a nervous poo before we go upstairs. OK, cowboy, your turn. Yes, yes, yes, fine. This is the designated poo room. No one is to come out here and do any bowel movements. It's also happening there. Just me. This is the most bizarre group of goblins I think I've ever...
00:10:16
Speaker
Tell me about it. It's like some kind of... Growner, tell me just between you and me. Does the Nacovello demand poop homage? Is that what this is?
00:10:28
Speaker
Doesn't you deserve what now? Hoop homage, like defecating my honour, kind of thing. No. I'm just trying to work this out. I've never met a... Normally. Even that was just conjecture that I found in the scrap from what was in the Lyceum.
00:10:47
Speaker
What is happening? Normally these sorts of missions don't involve quite so much pooing, I must say. I mean that's been a good five minutes we've been talking about pooing now, maybe we should...
00:11:00
Speaker
Masc, you finished your poo and... Right. Jokingly, actually, for a quick pause, before this we were chatting about how many episodes we might need to get through this. It might take us two episodes to go upstairs and I went, ha ha ha, no it won't, don't be silly, we'll be done in one. No, we fucking won't. We've just done poo for the last 10 minutes. It'll take us one episode to take a shit.
00:11:24
Speaker
Well, how many shits? That's the question we've got. There's foods we've got, you know. Depends how much fiber is in there. Verbal diarrhea. Very good, very good. So, Musk, you are going to open the chest. I'm going to... Yeah, I'm going to open it up. Why not? If I die, I die. We're also going to add Doric enduring all this defecation.
00:11:46
Speaker
of both verbal and literal. He's going to say to Musk, he says, well, I'm sure you feel a lot better, but I do believe the hurt is on the outside, not the inside. Let me abide by that. And he's going to cast a level two healing word on Musk and it's going to heal him for 10 points of healing. I have a bit of health. Oh, that does feel better.
00:12:16
Speaker
Now I am sure we don't want to let our endeavors in this poo room to go without warrant. Shall we open the chest mask?
00:12:29
Speaker
I was going to say, just before we open the chest, Baron, you look like you have something to... Yes, I think it's an important point, actually, because we are supposedly playing a mechanical game of Dungeons and Dragons. Our time in the time room, Purgatory. Our time in the time room, Purgatory. Am I right in thinking we are as we were at the end of the spider fight? There's been no short or long rest as a consequence of that. Correct.
00:12:55
Speaker
good to know. I just wanted to know mechanically well. I've been on the same, I didn't take any damage in that fight and I've got my spells. Otherwise, Grona would be permadeath because you definitely got eaten and I think also someone else got eaten.
00:13:07
Speaker
Well, I used some spell slots, but they were not used in reality. Yeah, because I remember you saying spell slots have regenerated, but I was just curious as to what the deal was. There's not so much regeneration. It's like that never happened. We just stepped into the room and that's it. So we're as we were at the start of the spider fight. Correct. At the end of the spider fight. At the end of the spider fight. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Thanks for that, Darren. I forget we're playing D&D. I'm not pooing D&D.
00:13:34
Speaker
Dungeons and Diarrhea. So you open the chest, please let me just open the damn chest. You open the chest and within it are a series of items. You find within it, you draw them out actually, they're quite small sides and there are five of them.
00:14:00
Speaker
five sides and each of these sides the blade of which glows are very very faint purple are you saying scythe or scythe as in like a scythe the weapon okay yes yes that was once used to cut down hue down wheat and things like that etc but also can be used as a weapon as well i believe is a proper weapon on dnd if not i might have just made it up anyway
00:14:23
Speaker
So as Musk is reaching in and pulling out the sides, he's going to look and shout to everybody. Hey, look, fancy knives. Oh, we can all have a fancy knife. That's really nice. They're shiny. Yeah, they're glowy as well.
Humorous Loot Search
00:14:45
Speaker
Oh, and Godboy picks it up and he really looks into it. I can see my eyes.
00:14:51
Speaker
Growner, if she hears shiny knives, is definitely gonna go running back into the room. Hold on, I've got my trousers down! Privacy! Privacy! We're occupied! Yes, believe me Growner, you really don't want to see this. And Godboy is just frantically trying to pull up his trousers and holding the scythe in one hand, hopping around. Don't try to pull your trousers up with the scythe, that could end in disaster.
00:15:23
Speaker
I didn't even realise it was a communal pooing room, sorry. I thought the pooing was finished. No, no, I needed to go. It was nervous. As you come back in, Musk will basically throw a load of the knives or scythes on the floor anyway, just because literally rummaging through his chest and trying to see if there's anything else. And then when he realises he gets to the last one, that's the one that he takes.
00:15:50
Speaker
I thought you were going to say he throws the size at us for a minute. I was like, oh god. No, they're on the floor. They're on the floor. He's stupid, but he's not that stupid. Must show little care. These are obviously some magical items. What magical? Why?
00:16:13
Speaker
Think of it this way, how many baubles and small things you find that glow as they do. There's fireflies and they're tasty. I would recommend you don't try eating these ones though. No, these are used to eat food. You've got to keep up.
00:16:32
Speaker
I'm sorry to interrupt but but we are meant to be going upstairs at some point. Grab a fancy knife then and get fucking moving. Billy will come into the room kind of like hiding his head down like so he just can't see it. I don't want to see. I'm holding my nose so I can't smell it either. There's my shiny knife. Thank you. I'm going back outside into the corridor now because it smells in here and when he gets back out
00:17:01
Speaker
Goodness grief, what do they eat? I've got no doubt the foulest stench I've ever smelt. Frankly, I smelt those dead spiders. And Godboy's gonna follow Bluey out, skipping jollily behind him. A bit lighter. Your trousers are still coming down, you need to do them up properly, Godboy. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
00:17:26
Speaker
Yeah, but Musk is going to quite happily just kind of, he's almost kind of waddling, almost something's kind of stuck, just as he's carrying on. Doric is going to be close behind and go, just just promise me, you don't try and pick your teeth with these ones. No promises. And Groyna is just going to pick up the last one and strap it to her back as well and walk out. But as she's walking out, she's kind of
00:17:54
Speaker
whispering to our amulet round her neck. It's like, oh, oh, interesting. OK. All right. OK, then let's get on with the tour. Well, that was the. That was the pantry. I thought it was the poo room.
00:18:13
Speaker
I've recently had it converted. And, Musk, you're still swaying somewhat. Are you sure we don't need to just pause while you... whatever it is you do? I still wouldn't say no to arrest. I don't think we should just be having a sleep when there's God knows what upstairs. Maybe there's a bed upstairs.
00:18:42
Speaker
Maybe. I was thinking more of just a respite, but fine, fine. If we want to walk upstairs and march on to another room, which I'm sure won't be dangerous at all, then by all means, let's do that. It's either stay here or you will eat me, right? All right. How long do you need? I don't need any time. I'm just worried about you. That's all. But we're good. Off we go. And then we will start up the stairs.
00:19:13
Speaker
Are we good? He'll turn around if he steps up. Well just an idea. It must give you travel at the back so if anything does happen then you can just sit down. Ah that sounds good. I think Growner was suggesting some fall asleep and I wasn't thinking like a long rest. I was thinking of a short rest. Short rest. Short rest. I'm sorry I appear to have a stammer. Short rest. Well I suppose we could take a bit of time.
00:19:43
Speaker
I mean, outside not to be too meta, I don't think Grona would be up for having any sort of rest, knowing that something might attack us at any moment. Outside of game, I really, really need one because I can't be around for much longer if we don't let him out. Hasn't he? I thought he'd just been healed. Ten points. I said hit points. I mean, that would be pretty good for me. Is that not good for you? I'm not even at half health.
00:20:09
Speaker
He took a beating from those spiders. I got knocked down by the spiders. I, Cowan, will survive much. I was on the death door. All of these characters are disposable by the sounds of it, so... No, I'm in agreement with Grown. I'm not sure having a short rest in the home of our enemy is a good idea. Why do you turn different all of us, or do... Oh, I thought we were talking out of metal.
00:20:32
Speaker
All right, let's go upstairs. I think Grano would definitely push to be going upstairs. So sorry, Callum. I tried. I'm blaming you. If I die, your character is next. That's all I'm saying. He's dead. Right, so just a quick update. If you on roll 20, the upstairs is to the right. So if you scroll to the right, this should be a square room you should see that seems to be stood on its own with all your characters now dotted around it.
00:21:03
Speaker
So what you see as you've grown up these fallen stairs is firstly the flickering shadows from the blaze below. It's a small brazier that burns and has been eternally burning through this whole time.
00:21:14
Speaker
casting flickering shadows through the gaps of the floorboards, casting light onto the dust that falls as your steps creak up the broken and rickety stairs, that arc round in a square circle format. Square circle in a square format, higher and higher until you enter into a square central room. This room has 30 feet worth of a
Exploring the Manor
00:21:37
Speaker
gap. As you look down, you can see down towards the brazier at the bottom as well, and down to the corpses of the spiders below.
00:21:43
Speaker
Around it is a landing that encapsulates the staircase. From it, you also see two doors, both of which, one of which is closed, the other of which, which is closest to you, there's a doorway, there is no door, it seems to have been rotted or burnt or removed at some time, it's no longer there. There is light, two candles are lit, two separate places casting long shadows across the space.
00:22:11
Speaker
There's a stillness in the air, and the air up here feels thicker. Dust feels stankier. For some of you, it's a welcome relief given the constant pooing that took place downstairs. But for many of you, you sense a weight and a foreboding as you enter up.
00:22:28
Speaker
To rejig your choices, you have, if we go back to old text versions of RP games, you can go downstairs. There's a door to your left, or there's a doorway. Sorry, you can go downstairs. There's a doorway to the east, west. Sorry. No, right. Get it right, Mark. You can go down either the doorway to your west, or you can walk through to the south. Do we hear anything? Give me a perception check, please.
00:23:00
Speaker
13. You listen and you hear the creaks and groans and shuffles and voices and heartbeat of your own, but apart from the other living beings that are up with you, you hear nothing else at the moment. So this is the upstairs. I think I'm lost now. Hello.
00:23:28
Speaker
Well, it appears we have come to the quite literal crossroads of this journey. One door there and another there. And there's more candles. Have any of the candles blowing in a funny way up here?
00:23:46
Speaker
give me a no, no, no, they're fine. They're normal. They seem just candles. There's nothing odd about it. No more nightmare murder rooms. Cool. No more well, maybe no comment. So you said one of the door one of the doorways just doesn't have a door in it at all. That's correct. And can we see inside the room? Not going inside it just kind of like
00:24:08
Speaker
peering if you will sure peering into this room you realize you peering into another corridor it doesn't seem to go on very long about 10 feet and then it veers to the left out of sight that's all you can see the floor continues to be rotted wooden floorboards there is nothing on the floor save just layers of dust and dirt and grime that time would plant upon an old house such as this uh bluey is there anything you want to be doing um
00:24:36
Speaker
Musk, you claim, well you didn't claim, you've made it quite clear that you heard some footsteps. In which general direction were they coming from? They were coming from upstairs. Yes, that's a fellow. I got that much. We are now upstairs and I was wondering if, in relation to where we were downstairs, if you knew where they were coming from.
00:25:04
Speaker
Well, when we were downstairs, I heard them coming from upstairs. Yes, are you sure we can't take a short rest for him? I'm worried he's getting past.
Bluey's Reluctant Exploration
00:25:17
Speaker
I think you're asking a bit too much of him here. Doesn't he think he... I've got an idea. Oh, no. Let's go through this one.
00:25:28
Speaker
But you first, and I'm basically going to try and grab Bluey. And as I have done before, just shove him in front of the open doorway that leads to the corridor. And we're just going to be poking at him from behind with the scythe. I'm not actually doing damage. I'm just trying to nudge him along. I don't agree with this. What can I say? You don't have a choice.
00:25:56
Speaker
Get moving, not a goblin! Wait, wait, wait, Musk, I think maybe we should just investigate this other door. I don't even like leaving rooms behind me that I haven't gone into. Okay. Okay, off you go. I'm going to grab Bluey again, drag him to the other door. Apparently I'll find him. Put him in front of it and then start poking him. Open the door, not a goblin!
00:26:23
Speaker
Well, I should tell you that I like the work I've had to sneak into places before, and this could be a trap. I'm just going to do a quick while he's pushing me, find a search for traps on the door. Do it with disadvantage because you've got a side of it. I am poking you with a blunt end here. Still, it's not the best situation to be... Oh no, no, no. I'm not going for the best situation whatsoever. Oh, I know, I know. I'm well aware of what you guys are doing.
00:26:49
Speaker
That's a nine. Nope, no traps at all. I think it seems like a normal old manidore. That's not how you use a door handle. No, well be a fellow and show me.
00:27:02
Speaker
See, what you've got to do is you put your hand on it, and yeah, Musky's gonna go through the entire process. You're gonna put his hand on the door, twist it, push it open, and then it's open, right? And unless nothing happens, Musky's literally going to grab the door again, shut it, and now expect Bluey to do it. Nothing does happen when you open the door. It just opens, you grab it, pull it shut again. Now you do it, and I'm back to poking Bluey.
00:27:29
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes. Can you just run that by me one more time? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Don't stab me. You're a bit of a slow learner, aren't you? Yes, I am, but I also don't shit myself in the house. But anyway, I open the door and... I went in the poo room! You walk into a room that seems to smell like incense. Directly to your right, you see a mirror. Oh no.
Bedroom Discoveries
00:27:58
Speaker
But...
00:27:59
Speaker
you also in front of you see a fallen chandelier with four candles lit four candles fuck off to the south of the room you see a dilapidated four poster bed
00:28:12
Speaker
the mattress of which is missing, cobwebs surrounded entirely. Around the corner of which, if you were to take a few steps into the room, you'd see what must be a kind of a dressing room area, a series of large wardrobes, fallen other accoutrement in the corner of the room as well. This seems to have been at some point a bedroom, a rather grand bedroom at some point. You also notice either side of the
00:28:39
Speaker
mirror small tables with a number of small very dusty photos upon it and next to the bed there is a table with a leg missing that's fallen over and some papers strewn on the floor this is not another time loop room don't worry it just has a mirror i do believe musk we found your master bedroom oh look a bed i'm gonna just waddle over to the bed and kind of
00:29:07
Speaker
jump on it and get comfy. I'm not actually trying to snooze, but I'm always testing out the mattress on it. Okay, could you roll a d20 for me, please, Callum? Oh, God. As you do that, you drop blue and just, ow, the hits are full.
00:29:24
Speaker
It's like, ooh, bird doing. I rolled a nine on my soon to be imminent death saving throw. Okay. And as you jump on into the bed, you said jump, not me. You jump into the bed, two of the legs buckle and it just hits down and echo and the dust all kind of lifts off the ground. Even in the light of the candles, you see this dust lift and then just slowly settle back down as all of you, I imagine pause for a second. There's no other sign, there's no follow up sign.
00:29:52
Speaker
You seem to have gone away with him. Bluey. You know, I really do think we should let him rest for a while. I think we just watch him go through the bed. Can I ask out of method, how long do you need to rest for a short rest? Four hours, I think. One hour. One hour. One hour. It is an hour though. It's not like ten minutes. It's not like ten minutes. You need no catnap if you want to do it in ten minutes.
00:30:19
Speaker
I feel like I wouldn't be up for just sitting here for an hour. It is the only, I would say, do what you want. It's totally your call. There's only one entrance. There's only one doorway. You'd be able to have your back to something, so to speak, and look at the one danger point, one vantage point. There's no other doorway from your current perspective, apart from the one you've just walked through, and that room as well, you've checked as well.
00:30:47
Speaker
just putting out there, but again, you play your characters, but you'd feel that sense of like, this is, there's one doorway.
00:30:56
Speaker
And just to be clear, I am playing Bluey's character. Bluey's acutely aware in that last fight he took no damage because Musk was willing to just basically be a human meat shield for the entire party. I'm on like near death right now. Yeah, and Bluey's not a hero. So I am playing the character by wanting to let the meat shield recalibrate. Recalibrate? I'm not Alpha.
00:31:24
Speaker
Godboy's going to walk over to the table of, well, the sheets that are on the floor and sit down and just pick them up and see if he can put them together like a book. Can you read? Nope.
00:31:38
Speaker
Yes, yes, that's the spirit. That's the spirit, Godboy. See, Godboy's... It would be long. Godboy's finding means to entertain themselves. And if you like Growner, you can stare at the door, and I'll stare at the door, and we both stare at the door. I'm sure nothing can get in here. And... Yes. Yes, you. You, Bard, whose name I momentarily forgot. Donkey.
00:32:07
Speaker
I don't think it's donkey. Doric. Doric sounds like Doric. Yes, Doric. You could sing as a song. I'd love to hear a song because I bet you're very good at them. So wait, you don't just want to have a rest here. You want someone to be singing to draw attention to ourselves while we're resting. Remind me. Tell me, do halflings live long? Look, I will level with you all.
00:32:37
Speaker
I'm not really an academic per se, I'm more of a, what you would call, explorer in places where I shouldn't be, where I then happen to take stuff from places where I shouldn't be. However, one of those places was the Sisterhold Lyceum in Chatham and in there
00:32:57
Speaker
They did some very, very strange things. When the blight struck, they shuttled the gates of Myra, so the entire kingdom was shut off. But recently, they expelled all the mages from the Lyceums apart from the Necromancers. They took the Grand Soufaire and threw him into a great gorge. I digress. But what I felt when I went in there was paper on this something called a Necavolo.
00:33:28
Speaker
believe he's with you and I would very very much like to make it out of here alive so I can I'll pull out these like sheets of paper one that you can see like confidential you can see that they've been burned and it's just there's just there's just clear bits of ashes that he's got from somewhere where he shouldn't have been but that this this clan leader of yours is it's quite he's he they are quite spectacular and
00:33:57
Speaker
I would very much like to see him, and actually now I'm here, I suppose, I would very much like to... Well, Musk was really helpful in that first fight, and I just don't want him to die, because if he dies, I'm fairly confident that you're going to die, and Godboy is going to die, and we're all going to die. I think we should do this together. That's what I'm saying. I'm not a hero. I'm sorry. I've made my point. I think we should let Musk rest so Musk can help us.
00:34:28
Speaker
Sorry, I think I just fell asleep with my eyes open. Did you name my name? Alright, first of all, my singing is eloquently marvelous. And if you so much want to meet with our glorious leader, you better start thinking of pulling your weight. Which means getting in that room and helping us find Miss Necromancer.
00:34:56
Speaker
I will very much do that, mostly because I can't leave even if I want to anyway, and if I did try to leave, you'd all kill me. If you don't go now, I am going to get Musk to start poking you again. Nothing good. We're not letting Musk risk. That would be fun through the wall. And this time he'll use the pointy end. Yes, I'm going, don't worry, I'm definitely going and...
00:35:23
Speaker
Could run back down the stairs, do we? That's definitely something you could do, but nope, nope, I'm going because I'm seeing this fruit. I'm seeing this fruit. God, why are you taking any of the papers with you? Yes, I am. Yes, I'm going to take them all. Like he's going to clutch them all to his chest, like his favorite little book.
00:35:48
Speaker
Okey-doke. And I'm assuming we're heading back into the central hallway and then going south, Corinna? Corinna would like to search the room for loot, because that is also what we're supposed to be doing, right? Is bringing back treasures for our illustrious leader. Give an investigation check, please, with advantage. Ooh.
00:36:13
Speaker
I don't want to, you know, ask, you know, question the advantage, but that's why. Because your success in the last check, I like to think that you like knocked a little cabinet thing and found you just, you've started to figure out a few of the, a few of the nooks and crannies of these, this place, given your success in the last one, AKA finding the one bit of treasure I didn't want you to find. So,
00:36:39
Speaker
There you go. I pissed off the DM so much I get the advantage. That's nice. I got a 22. Never pissed off. I'm perpetually pissed off. I'm like Bruce Banner. I'm always angry. You get two things. I've taken to randomly rolling everything because I think it's much more fun and I don't really know what's going to happen as well, which is just awesome. Could you roll a d20 twice?
00:37:06
Speaker
I'm just going to, I'm going to roll a normal dice because D&D Beyond is so slow. Most of the time though D&D Beyond works excellently well and you can find new subscriptions available. They give us no, they give us no kickback. Do what the fuck you like. Yeah. Straight D20s. Yeah. Straight D20s. A six and a 12. You find, sorry, sorry, I told you that I'm listening to you. Five, six and 12.
00:37:38
Speaker
Nice and honest. Okay lovely. So you find in your searching around one particular drawer next to the bedside cabinet and it holds within it a pendant firstly. A pendant and it's quite delicate pendant.
00:37:55
Speaker
And again, I'm just going to tell you what these are, instead of you making checks for it, because it's been more fun this way. You found the pendant of befuddling hiccups. Ooh, so cute. You don't know where to experience infrequent, but very persistent hiccups. It could be the source of amusement. It offers no practical benefit, except that it could be a little bit annoying. And you would also roll with disadvantage on any stealth checks as well, because you've been hiccuping the whole time. The other thing you find is,
00:38:26
Speaker
Oh, it's too similar. Can you roll again? The other one's too similar to what you've got. That was... Seven. Seven, seven, seven. Right after six. Yes, thank you, Callum.
00:38:43
Speaker
You find upon your searches, under the pillow, the mattress has gone, but there are pillows at the top of this bed. And I think you have to search around it. And you notice under one of the pillows, you pull out a dagger. It's quite a slender dagger with an obsidian, a dark obsidian black blade. Not actual obsidian, but it's kind of really, really dark. A dark blade adorned with intricate silver engravings. You find the whispering dagger.
00:39:09
Speaker
When you strike an enemy, it emits a haunting whisper causing the target to make a wisdom saving throw or become frightened for one minute. The wisdom saving throw is 12. I really should have started making these notes on a page of my book where I had more space. I thought this is going to be a generic loot. Oh, Miss Corona, where did you get your nice shiny things?
00:39:39
Speaker
Uh, is Godboy still in the room with me? I thought they all left. Well, as I was leaving, he's just, um, yeah, as he was leaving, he's just sort of turned his head and noticed that you were checking out some bits and pieces. I also like to think that whilst Bluey was giving his monologue, no one was paying any attention and you were just looting the room and everyone was just doing everything. Oh yeah, that makes more sense. And I'm literally still asleep on the bed. Yeah, my intent was to talk just long enough for him to have had a short rest. That was my plan.
00:40:08
Speaker
Let's try, let's try. Yeah, okay. So, Godboy knows I've got the stuff. It's like, oh, I was just, you know, I had a look around, like, you know, we were supposed to be doing all along. Everyone seems to have forgotten about that, too busy pooing and stuff. Well, I don't need to go anymore. I could have a little look as well. You're welcome to, but I feel like I've been pretty thorough.
00:40:34
Speaker
Oh, so then I don't have a job? Your job is to keep everyone's spirits up and, you know, just be generally helpful.
00:40:48
Speaker
Okay, well, I can read you what my book says. And he just takes his papers and he looks at it and tries his hardest to read what's on the sheets, but ends up just going, oh, super dum-blah, sum-ba-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Oh, aye, that's very wise, cowboy, aye, I'll bear that in mind.
00:41:15
Speaker
I like that story. Yes, I thought it was OK, but I was hoping for a better one. Anyway, I'll keep the I'll keep the pages. You hold on to them and I'll hold on to this this pendant and dagger because they're, you know, random pages of books and pendant and dagger. They're roughly equal in value, I think. Hmm. OK. Come on, then.
00:41:45
Speaker
I'm just gonna walk out of the room. You heartless person, you. Absolute heartless. Alright, and we're heading out of the room, back towards the doorway to the south, which leads to the corridor, is that right? Yes. Yes. You will all be accompanied by a musk that is...
00:42:04
Speaker
rather grumpy now because he's not getting the rest that he deserves. So it's kind of sulking at the back. You can probably hear them scraping the scythe every now and then just hitting the wood as it comes down. It's very, very slight. Mr Bard. Oh yes, Scott boy. What do you think of my pages? And he's just going to pass him the pages.
00:42:28
Speaker
Oh, well, I am quite well versed on the common tongue. I could have a look over them for you. Thanks. I thought it was a nice story. Musk thought it was a nice story. What do you think, please? Doric will take a moment to have a look at the pages. It seems to be the last pages of a diary. A very cursive, very, very eloquent handwriting. The top it states the diary of Genevieve Hesselthorpe, July 14th.
00:42:59
Speaker
It pains me greatly to witness the decline of my beloved husband. The once brilliant mind that captivated me is now collided with obsessions and misguided pursuits. At dinner tonight, he spoke passionately of his grand experiments, the very thought of which sends shivers down my spine. I must be strong and steadfast in my refusal to allow such dangerous practices to consume our family. The well-being of our children and the sanctity of our home must always be my priority.
00:43:29
Speaker
You turn the page. I fear my husband's mind is slipping further. This is a new entry, August 2. My husband's mind is slipping further into the depths of madness. His incessant rambling about manipulating time and achieving immortality have become more frequent and deranged. I've tried to reason with him, to implore him to abandon these perilous experiments, but he remains resolute in his pursuits.
00:43:53
Speaker
Our once peaceful house has transformed into a house of horrors filled with macabre contraptions and the stench of decay. I fear for our family's safety and the future of our children. You turn the page. August 17th. Desperation has taken hold of me. I find myself resorting to drastic measures to protect our youngest, Elizabeth.
00:44:19
Speaker
Tonight, as the doors of Hesselthorpe Manor were locked, sealing our fate within this foreboding place, I managed to sneak her out of the house. It was a heart-wrenching decision, leaving her from my family. But I could not bear the thought of her falling victim to the horrors that await us within these wars. As I write these words, I hear the pounding of Lord Hesselthorpe attempting to break down the door to my room.
00:44:50
Speaker
I pray for my survival. May the gods watch over us in this dire hour. And that's the last entry on the pages. I have not felt such tremors since I played the part of the Lady in the Wailing Heart of Junipus.
00:45:12
Speaker
I didn't like that story. No, it wasn't the story I thought of either. I preferred your story a lot more, cowboy. Thanks, me too. You know, me too. I fear there is tremendous darkness in this abode. Do you want me to turn a light on? Thank you, Musk. But I don't think it'll be enough. So, so, Mr Bard, what happened?
00:45:43
Speaker
I fear that this man's, this, sorry, what was he, a lord? Lord Hasselthorpe. Hasselthorpe. Hasselthorpe. Thank you. I fear that this Lord Hasselthorpe's obsession consumed not just him, but that of his poor wife and daughter too. I tremble to think of what else we will find.
00:46:08
Speaker
Hopefully him. I'm assuming he's our very nasty man, Hesselmancer person. It worries me, but I'm afraid you might mean Necromancy, Musk, and that's not something that we should take lightly. He's doled with forces that some minds, even mine, will have trouble understanding to its fourth tradition.
00:46:38
Speaker
Whilst this is happening that story has actually horrified Louis and Louis has just started to just turn around to see where this malicious malignant lord could potentially be because he's assuming it's somewhere nearby.
00:46:58
Speaker
Do you want to, are you going for a check or something? Yeah, perception, whatever. He's just started to glance around. So I wasn't sure if it was just RP or actual. Yeah, of course. Both. No, two.
00:47:20
Speaker
You are the pounding of blood in your ears and your heartbeat racing from the panic and fear that that story placed upon you, these poor woman's final diary entries have just blots out any kind of sense or you can perceive of the people around you, the space, the corridor you're in, the landing you're in at the moment stood in front of this doorway,
00:47:46
Speaker
hallway that will lead you eventually to what you imagine to be this Lord. You know, it's his house. It's his house. It's the problem that we're here. It's a particular... We'll put back what they've taken and we'll be on our way. I think that's the right thing to do. Yes, yes. Calm yourself, halfling. Staring down this hallway, mustn't be like staring in the gates of hell. And you shall be our leader.
00:48:16
Speaker
I was thinking that we should just have a little look in the mirror, because that's where we saw the dark man before. Oh, I forgot about that, but... Maybe he's still in the mirror. Gobbo might be right. My name's Gobboi. Gobboi might be. I'll go check. Yeah, subtly and...
00:48:44
Speaker
Not withdrawn, but almost, yeah, grumpy. It's going to walk back, sigh agonisingly at the bed that could have been, and instead make its way to the mirror and just look in the mirror. Ah, Godboy, I do believe your genius is showing. Oh, that's the first time. Quick, cover it up. What, what, what, my genius? That's right. You have quite the mind for this stuff. Even I was surprised.
00:49:14
Speaker
Okay, I'll be quiet next time. All right, Mask, you look into the mirror and for a second you see nothing there. Then all of a sudden, through the haze of your tired, slightly concussed, slightly damaged form, you make out a goblin. Oh, it's you. This is a regular mirror, dusty, cobwebbed. You can just see yourself and the candles behind you.
00:49:41
Speaker
in the moment where I'm kind of dazed and confused and the blurry image of a goblin, you know, there's somebody there. I knew it, I knew it. No, wait, wait, sorry.
00:49:58
Speaker
is either a number mimic that's following me or it's just me. And you've got Musky's kind of doing weird actions in the mirror now just to see if they can follow it. And he kind of turns himself around in the mirror as well and just kind of mooning the mirror just to see if the mirror moons back and all this kind of stuff. And he's probably at it for a good two minutes. Second time.
00:50:27
Speaker
And he's like, no, no, it's just me. We're fine. Serial flasher. I normally just have one good idea a day and I feel like today I haven't had any. That's a shame. There's still time. That's true. Next room.
00:50:49
Speaker
Down the corridor we go. What order are we in? Who's going first? Off you go, Bluey! I'm poking Bluey again! Right, so he's gonna go Bluey, followed by Musk, followed by... Doric? Well, Doric is going to say, oh, take heart, you silly man, you. I will at least be sending you with someone who you can probably gain appreciation for. And Doric is just going to do a quick-can trip. He's going to cast Dancing Lights.
00:51:19
Speaker
to give him a light source next to him. Now dancing lights can take the form of a humanoid, to which Doric is going to make it look almost as identical as he can to a halfling fellow, except it keeps pulling like silly faces at him. That's cool. A little halfling buddy. Yeah, a little halfling buddy, but we'll just kind of walk alongside him. Just made out of light.
00:51:43
Speaker
Yep, just made our light. If that's happening, then Musk is going to take it in terms of poking the light and poking Bluey just to try and shift them both along. All right, Bluey, are you fighting this at all? Or are you resigned to the fact that you're... No, I'm resigned. Cool. And then near the back, we've got I guess, Doric, and then... I'd probably like to be at the back. I'll be in front of Growner then.
00:52:10
Speaker
gorgeous lovely thank you very much you take the quick turn to the left to the east of this corridor and it leads down about 30 feet before it turns again north so kind of ends up skirting around the
00:52:27
Speaker
outside of what you've previously been the square room and this corridor goes on for quite a while to the north however along this corridor you see two open doorways one which is about 10 feet on your right the second is about 30 or 40 feet on your right as well to give you an idea the
00:52:48
Speaker
hallway that you've just been, sorry, the landing that you've been in with the stairs up is the wall to your left, pretty much. You're kind of almost circling around the outside of that room you've just been in, and these are doors to exterior rooms. So two doors, first one is about 10 feet away from you on your right, the second one about 30 or 40 feet away from you, also on the right. Did you say they're both open? Both open. As in there's doorways that are
00:53:14
Speaker
doors that have been opened or they're just open spaces. Doors, thank you. Yeah, doors that have been opened. Well, you can't really tell that they are the doors that have been opened, but from this perspective, you just see an open kind of frame. The door goes, it opens into the room. So you wouldn't technically see it yet, but whatever.
L-Shaped Room Investigation
00:53:31
Speaker
It doesn't really matter that much. I don't know why I asked. I can tell you which hinge site that's right. I guess the ability to close the door is useful. So there you go.
00:53:42
Speaker
I got your back. I got your back. Right, two doorways. What do you want to do? Well, Bluey is at the front. Which one are you poking me towards? The first doorway that comes across, you probably see the poking move a little bit more towards the left of you to try and get you to turn. Okay, that's the one I had too.
00:54:05
Speaker
Okay, you head into a large L-shaped room that kind of almost matches the size of the room that you previously entered into. This room, there is a very visible smoke that seems to hang in the air, still in the air. There seems to be kind of white light in this space as well, and a number
00:54:27
Speaker
I didn't realize mirrors would be such a sticking point when I made this map. A room filled with old dust sheet covered mirrors, five of them in the room. It's an open space and then two mirrors to the top, two mirrors to the bottom, one kind of sitting in between them facing into the central portion of the room.
00:54:45
Speaker
around the corner in the L become the leg end of the L of this room is a whole cacophony of old furniture. This furniture seems archaic in comparison even to the furniture you see in other places. It's thrown into a stack in the corner, most of it broken pushed away to give room for this space in the center. Through the smokers you enter Bluey, you also see a what seems to be some kind of humanoid figure on the floor. It's still
00:55:15
Speaker
It looks like a human. Though through the smoke, you can barely make it out from your current position. It's not moving. Well. Hello. Hello. The figure doesn't move or respond. No, but wait, wait. Louie's going to walk over and just kneel down next to this figure.
00:55:49
Speaker
Is it the necromancer? I don't think it is, no. As you get closer, you start to make out some features. There's dust over this body, though it doesn't seem to have decayed.
00:56:07
Speaker
shock of blonde hair, deep sets, black, pupil eyes open, dust on the eyes, clothing, a tailored small white jacket, shirt, sorry, shirt with a blue jacket over it, like brown trousers, shoes upon feet, a satchel nearby, a person who's probably no older than 14, 15 years of age. As you get closer,
00:56:37
Speaker
You can see the eyes move to you. Nothing else. And you can see a little portion of dust fall off the eyeball and just fall down the side of the face. Bluey jokes. That's terrifying. As soon as that happens. She's alive. He's alive.
00:57:09
Speaker
Have the rest of us come into the room at this point? So we can all see it as well. Yep. They must be sleeping. No, no. The writer opened up. Does the room feel cold? Yes, a little bit. But you're not sure whether that's just the feeling you're getting into entering this room or indeed an actual temperature change. Can Godboy do a perception check? Of course you can, yeah.
00:57:38
Speaker
Just to see I wasn't sure whether or not sorry that the that the room was dark or whether it's it's it's just smoky There's an
00:57:49
Speaker
You didn't notice at first, but give me the perception check. Also, you won't have to worry about darkness because there is the dancing lights figure with you. So the room would be illuminated. And the room is full of mirrors, so the light would bounce off the mirrors as well, lighting the space up. But on top of that, there's also that gives up. I mean, what kind of kind of what color light does that give, James? I think I'll have a quick look.
00:58:09
Speaker
Okay, but on top of that, whatever colour that is, there also is like a quite ethereal white light that seems to be kind of piercing in through moments, so shafts across the space. I got seven, yeah.
00:58:19
Speaker
Okay. You, the fog, the smoke in the air isn't moving. Even when you walk through it, you watched Bluey walk through it and it should kind of move around the figure and push through it. It didn't, he kind of walked in it. It stayed still almost like walking through a picture of it, which seems very odd. James, what colour was it?
00:58:44
Speaker
It states torch light. So I'm going to follow along with that. So it is going to be like bright yellow, right as it's right. It says if you disturb it, it sort of flickers. Okay. And then the light just sort of like radiates around it. Awesome. Thank you very much. Have you touched the body, Bluey?
00:59:03
Speaker
No, it's not a body. They're alive. Well, it's still a body. Just touch it. Give it a little poke. I'm not touching it. Sorry, you've marched me down this corridor, but I'm not doing no more. I'm not touching that body. Oh, I'll do it. And Godboy just marches on through and just kicks it. Oh, wow. It moves a little bit. It feels like you've kicked someone. Yeah, it's somebody. Musk, you're quite good at poking.
00:59:33
Speaker
Yes. Oh, now's your chance. Okay, I'm going to carry on poking bluey. Not me, not me. Look, is anyone else not worried about the fact that if the bad thing isn't in this room, it's almost certainly in the next one.
00:59:51
Speaker
Well, this thing's quite bad in here. We should probably do something about this. That's what I thought. What can we do? At the end of the corridor that you saw, the two doorways, the corridor to continue round to the left. Apologies, I didn't mention that. The doorway you've gone into, the next doorway to the right, and then the corridor deviated to the left. But you couldn't see around that corner. Oh, and you thought we were going to finish this in this episode. That's not a chance.
01:00:18
Speaker
Took far too much time taking a dump. I'm sure many of you have noticed we have more mirrors. Three more if Roll20 is to go by. Okay, one second. I'm also going to go into each of the three mirrors and do the same dance and check that he did in the last one. Has he taken his pants down again? Yes, he is mooning every single mirror.
01:00:47
Speaker
There's five mirrors, so this is going to be five separate moonings, so that is the seventh time you've got your butt out in this one. Whoo-hoo, new record episode. Then one was the record. Hang on, other characters have gotten completely naked in our podcast. You know, I've got my... Yes, tastefully. Oh. Dropping trowel and squeezing out a Cleveland steamer behind them. Ooh-ish.
01:01:14
Speaker
But yes, five mirrors, I will be doing a dance and mooning every single damn one of them. None of the mirrors seem to deviate from what you previously know is that is your bum, that is your body, that is you doing a silly dance. Two of them had dust covers over and you had to pull them off to do the dance and again, even they were fine. Okay. I think the mirrors are fine. I'm going to see if I can find a shiny. Very good. And Musk?
01:01:43
Speaker
Yes. Please pull your trousers up. Oh, sorry. And then, yeah, must before he attempts to just like, he's going to look around the rest of the room. He's looking for shiny things. We're looting. Yeah, but in. Ignoring the horribly frozen women and just looting.
01:02:05
Speaker
Pretty much. Sorry, it's a boy. It's a boy. Sorry, sorry. Oh, that's even worse. Well, whilst Musk is looting, Godboy's going to sit down by the side of the boy. He's not scared at all. And he's just going to start stroking the face of this boy, Lenny style. Oh, God.
Mirror Humor and Realization
01:02:25
Speaker
Wow. And you basically, as you're stroking through, you're going to be stroking off layers of dust on this, and you feel a warm skin. He's like the pages of my book.
01:02:41
Speaker
It's it's dusty like the pages of my book He's getting warmer Have you found anything yet any shinies?
01:02:56
Speaker
I don't think there's any shinies in here. You haven't done an investigation check, Callum, so you don't fucking know. I have. I've rolled a seven, so I don't think I'm going to find anything. Please do not make a sign. Are you assuming my DMing? Thank you very much. I'm assuming I got a shit roll. But you have eyes and a base perception. Thank you very much. You bitch. No, you find nothing.
01:03:22
Speaker
I knew you were going to do that. I could have given you something, but no. No, actually, you do find there's another stack of papers. I found some more papers. Good boy. In one of the cupboards that you look through, there's all these kind of vials and decanted weird shaped glass objects. And right at the bottom is a stack of papers with this. Yeah. Yeah.
01:03:45
Speaker
It'd probably sniff some of the vials and whatnot and just have a look inside, see if there's any liquid or anything. He's still looking for better juice in the hopes of out of a completely better regaining in hit points here. There's one or two that still have a little bit of stuff in them. What colour is it? Black and one looks like purple-ish. I'll drink the purple one. Excellent. Roll the Constitution saving throw.
01:04:15
Speaker
This is where Musk dies. Natural 20 for 24. Okay. You only take four points of necrotic damage. It's almost, I'm going to kind of, I'm going to drink it. That was a bit spicy. Is there any left for me?
01:04:37
Speaker
No, sorry. There's another time you could try that one. No, I don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What are you all doing with a dangerous man in here that boy is trapped on the floor, you're drinking poison and for everything you won't rest and heal yourself so you can make sure that we all don't die. What is happening here?
01:05:01
Speaker
Well, I just said that the face is getting warmer. You should feel it, Bluey. It makes your heart go nice and smushy. Bluey is just going to resolve.
01:05:17
Speaker
That sounds exactly like I want to do. It's going to come over and just put his hand on this. No, this is really, really strange. Look, I'm going to level with you. I see you're not going to let me leave here without seeing this thing through. But for the love of God, can we just get on with it if that's the case? Godboy is just going to put his ear next to the face to see if he can hear the body breathing. There is no chest movement. There is no breath.
01:05:48
Speaker
Nothing at all. Stillness like a corpse. Very well. Very well. You said I was leading. I'm going to lead. He's going to march over to the door and just shut it. I'm not leaving this room until Musk has had a rest. Musk, I suggest that you take my side, stop prodding me just for a second so you can rest, and then we can do what we're here to do, which is to clear this place out. What say you? Do you have a blanket?
01:06:19
Speaker
I actually do. I'm going to go into my Dungeoneering pack and just take out my bedroll blanket and just hold it out towards Musk. Thank you. Musk is just going to kind of grab it and go.
01:06:32
Speaker
Nestle in the corner, who feels like he'd been told off by his dad a little bit at this stage. I'm not angry at you, Musk. I'm sorry. I'm going to come sit next to Musk and I'm going to just do to Musk what Godboy is doing at this point. I'm sorry, Musk. I'm so sorry. What is happening? A defensive smile across Musk's face. Well, I suppose we're having a rest. Godboy's going to just say to Musk, did you say that there was some more pages?
01:07:02
Speaker
The pause just like musk is enjoying the stroking from Bluey and it kind of wrapped up in a blank there and then he realised, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Um, they were, they were just over there beneath that other vial. Okay. If you, are you going to tell me another story? I'm going to pass the pages to Mr. Bard and Gobbo's going to, Gobbo is going to get up and go over to the pages, pick them up and then pass them straight over to, um, Doric.
01:07:32
Speaker
Doric takes a moment just to, um, and then read them out. So I've just got a, um, coughing child. Sleep, Harry. One second. I wasn't sure if I was Dumbledore or Gandalf. I was trying to do Doric, actually. Yeah, I thought it was more Doric, actually.
01:08:00
Speaker
I love it, by the way, though. It's such a fucking great voice. Okay, then we're good. As you look over these, you realize these are notes of a different hand to the previous one you've read.
Dark Experiment Revelations
01:08:15
Speaker
These are notes of an experiment, a series of experiments. Lord Hesselthorpe's Experiment Logs. Experiment Log 1. Subject, Lady Genevieve Hesselthorpe.
01:08:29
Speaker
Procedure, infusion of arcane energy to enhance vitality and longevity. Result, subject experienced severe physical and mental degradation, increased aging process observed, experiment terminated, subject deceased.
01:08:46
Speaker
Experiment Log 2. Subject, Lord Bartholomew Hasselthorpe. Procedure, transference of life essence through forbidden rituals. Result, uncontrolled necrotic energy caused rapid decay of the subject's body. Subject reduced to skeletal remains. Experiment terminated. Subject deceased.
01:09:05
Speaker
Log 3. Young Master Alexander Hesselthorpe. Exposure to time-altering spells to slow down aging process. Result. Time distortion caused irreversible damage to subject's mind and part of the manner. Subject trapped in a perpetual loop of memories and insanity. Experiment terminated. Subject deemed lost. Experiment log 4.
01:09:28
Speaker
Young Master Theodore Hessethorpe. Procedure. Fusion of life essence with clockwork technology to achieve immortality. Result. Success achieved. Subject now exists. Continuous pain and suffering. Eyes move. Experiment deemed an ethical failure. Experiment log five. Subject. Myself. Procedure.
01:09:56
Speaker
Immersion in a pool of cursed waters infused with dark magic to bear the weight of my failures. Results. Eternal life granted. Endless remorse and guilt. The burden of their deaths will forever haunt me. Experiment concluded. I am cursed. I fear that this is young, master feared all before us. Trapped in his body.
01:10:27
Speaker
No way for a person to live. Then we have to kill him. Or we kill the one that cursed him. Well, if we find him, yes. Are there any clocks in the room? Give me a perception check.
01:10:54
Speaker
No, you're going to ask this before I ask it. It's the spur of the moment, don't worry. Two. Thousands. No, you have a quick scan around, and there's too much weirdness in here. And growing up, like you said, you still feel uncomfortable with the fact that you're resting. You don't want to be here any longer, as Bluey said, but at the same time, you want to leave. So your mind is all over the place. And you barely concentrate on the thought before it passes.
01:11:23
Speaker
But there was one vocal point I deduced from reading this guilt, immense guilt, from what he did to his own family. It hits me right here in my heart. Well, he should feel guilt. It's awful. I mean, we haven't done great things, but nothing as bad as this.
01:11:52
Speaker
I've never seen such sorrow. Good boy's getting all profound at the moment. I think it's the books. And on a rather sombre short rest, which finally, Bluey, you've got what you wanted. That's why I think we'll leave it for this week's episode of
Episode Recap and Social Media
01:12:16
Speaker
the Fellowship of the Tabletop. It's not just Bluey that wanted that for the love of Christ.
01:12:20
Speaker
That's where we'll leave that anyway, guys. So there you go. We've made it upstairs. We're going through two rooms in one episode. I do think that's a little bit of a record. Not just two rooms, but existential horror.
01:12:36
Speaker
I've realised now listening to my own voice, doing it back, does feel a little bit kind of like almost Lovecraftian slightly without the tentacles and the Catholicismist by accident. But anyway, a little bit of... No, I'm loving it.
01:12:53
Speaker
And if you'd like to reach out for us with your love tentacles, oh goodness me, what a good way to end this episode. You can do so by finding us on our Twitter pages. Although just before we go into that, I would like to take this moment to thank you all for making us a part of your week. We love you for it.
01:13:12
Speaker
And if you want to keep up with the podcast and keep up with our manifestations and our bowel movements, apparently, you can find us on Twitter. You can find me, at DarrenPato6, won't be posting about my bowel movements. You can find Casey at... Unicorn Crit, nor I.
01:13:30
Speaker
You can find James at... Chappie Dice Roll, where you won't find me talking about it. That's on Crappy Dice Roll. As before, you won't find... Correct me if I'm wrong, Sarah, but we won't find you on Twitter.
01:13:44
Speaker
No, I mean, I do have one just about poo, but I didn't think anyone would care about that, so I haven't mentioned it until now. Okay, well any questions about bowel movements for anyone here you can send to Natural20will. And Callum, where can we find you?
01:14:00
Speaker
at DD20Gamer, available on request for Pooh queries. And you can find our Fantabulous DM, who is just very quickly and disposed at Hasterly Roll DM. And of course, you can find us all collectively at Fellowship Table. That one. Yeah, you can find us there. Until next time, guys.