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Episode 21: What to Do If Your Parent Refuses to Share Financial Info
33 Plays1 month ago
Many aging parents avoid talking about money—until a crisis forces the conversation. In this episode, I share:
Why parents keep financial info private—and how to break the silence.
Conversation starters that actually work.
The one document you need before an emergency happens.
Listen now & start the conversation today!
Need help? Book a consult at www.theagingparentcoach.com--- # Instagram Captions
Is your parent refusing to talk about money? Try this:
Don’t ask: “How much money do you have?” (They’ll shut down.)
Do ask: “Can we list where your accounts are, just in case?”
Knowing where accounts are is just as important as knowing the balances.
New podcast episode out now!** Listen to *The Aging Parent Playbook for more financial planning tips.
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Transcript
Introduction to Discussing Finances with Aging Parents
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome back to the Aging Parent Playbook. Today, we're tackling one of the biggest roadblocks adult children face.
Consequences of Avoiding Financial Discussions
00:00:08
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What to do when your parent refuses to talk about their finances.
00:00:13
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Many families avoid this conversation until it's too late. When bills go unpaid, financial fraud happens, or a medical emergency leaves everyone scrambling.
Why Do Parents Keep Finances Private?
00:00:24
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By the end of this episode, you'll know.
00:00:28
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Why parents keep in financial info private and how to break the silence. How to ask the right questions without making them defensive. The one document you need to get before a crisis happens.
00:00:42
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Let's dive in.
00:00:46
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So, why do parents resist talking about money?
00:00:52
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Here are some common reasons parents keep financial info private. Well look, pride and independence. Many parents fear of losing control over their money. Shame or guilt.
00:01:03
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If finances are in bad shape, they may avoid the topic. Mistrust. They may worry about being taken advantage even by family. So before starting the conversation, acknowledge their concerns.
How to Initiate Open Conversations About Money
00:01:18
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How about you try, look, I know money talking about money can feel uncomfortable, but my goal is just to be prepared if something happens.
00:01:29
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How do we start the conversation without conflict? Instead of asking how much money do you have, try these gentler conversation starters. How about using a personal story?
00:01:43
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My friend's mom ended up in the hospital and her kids had no idea how to access her accounts. It made me realize maybe we should talk about this before something happens.
00:01:53
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Make it about their and independence. I wanna make sure your bills and medical care are handled exactly the way you'd want them to be. And blame it on the system.
00:02:07
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Banks and hospitals make it so hard for families to step in without the right paperwork. Can we set things up now so we don't have to deal with that later?
Strategies for Planning and Preparedness
00:02:18
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so what do we do then if they shut down? I suggest you give them space, but keep bringing it up over time. If they say it's none of your business, then respond with, I understand, but if something happens, I just want to be able to help.
00:02:37
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Can we at least put one emergency plan in place?
00:02:44
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I want you to take action. So choose one of these conversation starters and test it out this week.
00:02:52
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So what is that one document you need before a crisis? Well, look, if your parent refuses to share specific numbers, focus on getting these key documents instead.
00:03:04
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Power of attorney. Without this, you may need to go to court to get access to their finances. Advanced directive. This ensures their medical wishes are followed.
00:03:18
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Get a list of accounts and bills. Look, even if they don't share balances, knowing where accounts are held is crucial.
00:03:27
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And a simple way to start is ask, hey, can we just list out where your accounts are so if there's an emergency, ah know where to look?
Handling Parental Resistance to Financial Discussions
00:03:36
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And what if they still refuse? I get it, right? Involve a trusted third party, maybe a financial advisor, a lawyer,
00:03:47
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their physician, use a legal document checklist so they understand what's at risk. So again, I want you to take action this week. Ask them where are accounts and important documents kept?
Final Advice and Resources
00:04:02
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Talking about money with a parent can feel awkward, even impossible sometimes. But waiting until a crisis hits makes things 10 times harder. So start small, keep trying, and focus on protecting them.
00:04:16
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If this episode helped, please subscribe, share, and leave a review. And for personalized coaching, please visit my website, theagingparentcoach.com, and schedule a consult.
00:04:29
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Take care. Until next time.