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Episode 32: Estate Planning Basics for Caregivers
3 Plays16 days ago
Welcome back to The Aging Parent Playbook. I’m Dr. Barbara Sparacino—and if you're caring for an aging parent, you already know that the practical side of caregiving can be just as emotional and overwhelming as the rest.
In this episode, I’m talking about something many families avoid—but absolutely need: estate planning.
I’ll walk you through:
✅ The three most important estate planning documents
✅ Why caregivers need a seat at the table
✅ How to start the conversation (without causing tension)
You’ll also learn about common mistakes families make—like outdated wills, hidden documents, and waiting too long to act—and how you can avoid them.
Planning ahead isn’t about being morbid. It’s about honoring your parent’s wishes and giving everyone peace of mind.
🎁 Need help getting started? Download the free Estate Planning Checklist for Caregivers at www.theagingparentcoach.com
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Transcript
Introduction to Estate Planning
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the Aging Parent Playbook. I'm Dr. Barbara Sparacino, and if you're navigating the messy, emotional, and often confusing journey of caring for an aging parent, you're in the right place.
Key Documents for Caregivers
00:00:13
Speaker
Today's topic is one that can feel heavy, but it's absolutely essential. Estate planning basics for caregivers. Here's what we're covering. The three most important estate planning documents, why every caregiver needs to be involved, and how to start the conversation.
00:00:30
Speaker
So let's dive in. The three essential estate planning documents. Estate planning sounds intimidating, but at its core, it's about protecting your parents' wishes and avoiding chaos later.
Importance and Explanation of Planning Tools
00:00:44
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There are three documents that every caregiver should be aware of and help ensure are in place. A will. This is the document most people know. It spells out who gets what after your parent passes away.
00:00:58
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Without it, the state decides. And that i can get messy, expensive, and deeply unfair. The next one is a power of attorney, POA. This gives someone the legal rate to make financial decisions before death if your parent is incapacitated or needs help managing money.
00:01:17
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This can include paying bills, managing accounts, or handling property. And last but definitely not least, advanced directives. This outlines their preferences for medical care.
00:01:29
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things like resuscitation, life support, and pain management. It's sometimes called a living will, and it's vital for avoiding confusion or guilt when difficult decisions come up.
00:01:40
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If these documents aren't in place, your family could end up in court.
Consequences of Not Planning
00:01:44
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And it's not just stressful, it's expensive. Proprie, guardianship battles, and emergency decision-making are all preventable with the right paperwork.
00:01:58
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So how to start the conversation.
Starting the Conversation with Parents
00:02:02
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How do you bring this up with your parent without them shutting down or brushing it off?
00:02:09
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Here are three caregiver-tested strategies at work. Start with a story. Say something like, I heard about a family who lost everything because they didn't have a will.
00:02:20
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I don't want that to happen to us. Stories make the comfort conversation feel less accusatory and more protective. Two, emphasize control.
00:02:32
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This isn't about you taking over. It's about them staying in charge. Try. This ensures your wishes are followed, even if you can't speak for yourself. Three, break it into steps.
00:02:46
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You don't have to do everything at once. Maybe this month's it's the POA. Next month, the will. Then the advanced directive. Do it piece by piece. Remember, it's not about doom and gloom.
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
00:03:00
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It's about peace of mind.
00:03:06
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Now, what are some common estate planning mistakes? Let's talk about some of the biggest pitfalls I see, mistakes that even well-meaning families make. So, not updating documents.
00:03:18
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A will from 1998 may no longer reflect the current situation. Maybe a loved one has passed away, there's been a divorce or major financial changes. Estate documents should be reviewed every few years.
00:03:32
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Next, not discussing it with the family. Even if documents exist, if nobody knows where they are or what's in them, it can still lead to fights and confusion. Transparency now prevents heartbreak later.
00:03:46
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There's also waiting too long. I can't tell you how many families say we thought we had time, but cognitive decline, accidents or hospitalizations can happen overnight. It's never too early to plan.
Protecting Parents and Caregivers
00:04:01
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Look, here's the bottom line. Estate planning protects your parents' future and yours. If you're the one who will be cleaning up the mess, you deserve a seat at the table now.
00:04:14
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Want to help getting started? I've put together an estate planning checklist just for caregivers. Grab it at theagingparentcoach.com. And if this episode helped you, share it with a sibling, a friend, or another caregiver who needs it.
Conclusion and Resources
00:04:30
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and Until next time, this is the Aging Parent Playbook where I help you show up for your loved ones without losing yourself in the process. Take care.