It's our 99th episode! (Maybe? Sort of? I haven't done the math...) And it's a great one. My guest Amanda Dames is a certified sex and relationship coach, former New York City dominatrix, and founder of The Kink Consultant. In this fascinating conversation, we explore the surprising overlaps between kink and bisexuality, plus we dive into shame, communication, and authentic self-expression.

Amanda shares her journey from discovering her own kinky desires at a young age to becoming a coach who helps individuals and couples navigate kink and fetish without shame. We discuss how and why couples struggle when one partner has desires the other doesn't share, how fantasies can actually strengthen intimacy, and why trust, consent, and honest communication matter far more than any specific sexual interest.

Whether you're kinky or not, this episode is about something bigger: learning to embrace the parts of ourselves we've been taught to hide. Sound familiar??

*This episode contains 5 minutes of bonus content on Patreon only beginning at around the 54-minute mark. Subscribe for bonus content, early access, and to help support this podcast: www.RobertBrooksCohen.com

In this episode:

 * Amanda's path from professional dominatrix to kink coach
 * The surprising parallels between kink and mixed-orientation relationships
 * The difference between a kink and a fetish
 * Why shame keeps so many people disconnected from themselves
 * How couples can navigate differing desires without resentment
 * Why fantasies aren't a threat to intimacy
 * Masculinity, submission, and challenging cultural assumptions
 * Consent, communication, and building trust in relationships

Connect with Rob: www.RobertBrooksCohen.com [https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/]

Connect with Amanda:

· Website: https://www.amandadames.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/

· TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant

· YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant

· Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920

· Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

· BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist

· Amanda's Swingcation discount code: TKC50

The Things We Don't Talk About with "The Kink Consultant" Amanda Dames

Welcome to the final installment of my three-part series on BFF, the biggest, best, biannual, bisexual play party in Palm Springs.

Before we dive in, I share an important disclaimer: BFF isn't for everyone. While I've found it to be one of the most accepting, freeing, and healing communities I've ever experienced, it's also an intense, highly sexual environment. I talk about who it might be a great fit for, who it might not, and why I think it's important to know that going in.

Then you'll hear two final interviews recorded at the event, followed by an extended conversation with Brad and Tracy, the couple who have organized BFF for nearly a decade. We talk about how the event began, how it's evolved over the past 20 years, and why the sense of community has always mattered even more than the sex.

• Steve — Back for his second appearance on the podcast, Steve reflects on another BFF weekend, why saying "no" can strengthen connection, and how kink and impact play have become an important part of his journey.

• Drew — Drew shares his path through bisexuality, polyamory, and building relationships rooted in communication, honesty, and community. We also talk about coming out, finding your people, and why authentic connection matters more than simply having sex.

• Brad & Tracy — The longtime organizers of BFF share how they stumbled into the event 20 years ago, eventually took it over, and have worked to preserve its uniquely welcoming spirit. We also explore bisexual visibility, the evolution of the swinging community, and why spaces where people can fully be themselves are more important than ever.

(There's no video for this series, but the audio is definitely explicit.)

If you'd like to attend BFF, you can reach out directly to Brad at his profile "CUTEONES" on Kasidie, SDC or Lifetylelounge, or at "CUTEONES1" on SLS or Fetlife.

Learn more about HOE Weekend: https://hoeweekend.com/

75-minute initial deep-dive coaching session with Rob: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/first-coaching-session-75-mins

Learn more at www.robertbrookscohen.com [https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/]

Support this podcast: patreon.com/robertbrookscohen [https://patreon.com/robertbrookscohen]

Inside BFF: The Story Behind the Biggest Bi+ Play Party in the World (Part 3)

Welcome back to part two of our three-part series on BFF, the biggest, best, biannual, bisexual play party in Palm Springs. A lot of play happens at this event, allowing attendees to embrace their desires, release shame, and connect authentically, but even more important is the atmosphere of acceptance, love, and learning from each other. There’s a lot of great and healing work being done at BFF!

In this episode, you’ll hear seven more interviews from the event that range from sexy to sacred – and everything in between.

· Jen — A bi activist who has been in the lifestyle since 2000 who explains why BFF is a big part of finally moving to California.

· Mark — Back solo this year after last year's fan-favorite interview with his husband Josh, Mark talks about deepening his bi exploration and self-discovery.

· An anonymous BFF newbie – attending only his second-ever play party, he shares what it's like to be new to both non-monogamy and bisexuality.

· Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook — Clinical sexologist and veteran BFFer, Laurie talks about the exploding demand for Bi+ events and how she and her husband navigated non-monogamy 25 years ago with no roadmap.

· Lynn — A first-timer inspired to attend by her neighbor Don (from last year's episode), Lynn delivers some of the most moving reflections of the series on authenticity, shame, and the sacred energy of this community.

· Piglet — A seven-time BFFer who hilariously narrates a live scene playing out nearby and reflects on how this community is generating happiness and positivity for the world.

· Spencer — Another seven-time attendee, he shares his Arkansas coming-of-age story and his philosophy of being a quiet but open facilitator of others' journeys.

There's no video for this series, but the audio is definitely explicit. Stay tuned for Part 3 — two more interviews plus an extended conversation with BFF organizers Brad and Tracy.

If you'd like to attend BFF, you can reach out directly to Brad at his profile "CUTEONES" on Kasidie, SDC or Lifetylelounge, or at "CUTEONES1" on SLS or Fetlife.

75-minute initial deep-dive coaching session with Rob: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/first-coaching-session-75-mins

Learn more at www.robertbrookscohen.com [http://www.robertbrookscohen.com/]

Support this podcast: patreon.com/robertbrookscohen [https://patreon.com/robertbrookscohen]

BFF Part 2: Sacred, Depraved, and Everything In Between

Two Bi Guys is back! This is the first of three episodes I recorded at BFF — the Bi F*** Fest — a biannual, four-day play party in Palm Springs, centering bisexuality and especially bi men. I recorded these interviews in the pool on the last day, mic in hand, wandering around while people were doing... various things around me. It's that kind of episode.

In a strange (or maybe perfect?) turn of events, I was at this BFF while on a plant medicine diet that called for no sex, no masturbation, no intentional raising of sexual energy. So I was very much a celibate voyeur at a bisexual orgy — and it gave me a different lens on the whole thing. The community, the storytelling, the emotional depth of what people shared — I absorbed all of it more than ever.

This episode contains six interviews:

· Shay and Scarlet — a married bi couple who came out to each other on the same night in 2017 at their local pub

· Hannah— my friend who is literally the reason I ended up at this BFF despite the diet. A queer, sapphic woman who loves being in a space where masculinity is queer

· Vinny and his partner — raised Catholic, overcoming shame, figuring out his attractions lean more toward women at about 80/20, and his female partner navigating what it means to really let him be himself

· L and B — a younger couple, together 15 years, who opened up and discovered they were both bi. (And one of them can do pole tricks ;)

· Jose— a psychiatrist who has been to BFF ten times and gave one of the most beautiful answers about what community means

· Sean and Derek — Sean is 56, newly out as bi, and his friend Derek who has helped normalize the experience. Sean's story of how his wife paved the way and made his own coming easier — and why that made him feel guilty — is one of the most moving parts of this whole series

Yes, there's a lot of sex at BFF. But what keeps people coming back — what made some of them cry talking to me — is feeling truly seen. The sex is the icing. The community is the cake.

If you're curious about attending BFF, it's not something you can just Google. You can reach out directly to Brad, the organizer, at his profile "CUTEONES" on Kasidie, SDC or Lifetylelounge, or at "CUTEONES1" on SLS or Fetlife.

There's no video for this series, but the audio is definitely explicit. Part 2 and Part 3 are coming soon!

Links:

· Rob's Website (and more info on coaching): robertbrookscohen.com [https://robertbrookscohen.com/]

· Book a complimentary coaching session with Rob: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/complimentary-coaching-session

· Support this podcast: patreon.com/robertbrookscohen [https://patreon.com/robertbrookscohen]

The Bi F*** Fest is About Way More Than F***ing

Think it's too late for you to come out? Have you ever let regret about the past get in the way of making empowering decisions for your future? We've all been there — but it's never too late to live your life authentically and intentionally.

This week, I sit down with Doug Moffitt, who began exploring his sexuality — and his authentic self — in his 80s. After a lifetime of repression, Doug followed a sudden impulse to attend a gay men’s tantra retreat… without telling his wife. What happened transformed his life, and he's so grateful he took the leap.

In this episode, we talk about:
– Coming out later in life (and what anxiety about being “too late” is really about)
– The moment everything clicked for Doug (a spiritual calling that he thankfully listened to)
– Navigating the gay world in a “second adolescence” at 84
– Consent, boundaries, and learning a whole new culture
– A powerful first tantric experience that opened something spiritual
– Letting go through sex, psychedelics, and self-acceptance
– Becoming “Doug 2.0” — bigger, freer, and more alive than ever before.

This is a unique, funny, and surprisingly moving conversation about authenticity, curiosity, and what can happen when you finally let yourself be who you are — at any age.

There are about 15 minutes of bonus content with Doug -- plus FULL VIDEO of this episode, where you can see his see-through black lace shirt -- on Patreon. Thank you for your support! www.Patreon.com/RobertBrooksCohen [https://www.patreon.com/c/robertbrookscohen]

Here's the video of Doug being suspended that he mentioned at the end (content warning: hooks in skin): https://www.instagram.com/p/DI2HkUvOUyJ/

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/newsletter

My website: https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/

Last chance (for real this time) for free coaching intro sessions: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/25-minute-free-intro-call
(Free sessions will be reduced to 10 min discovery calls in April 2026 -- intro sessions will be paid but discounted at that time.)

Never Too Late: Doug Moffitt Comes Out At 84

Today we're talking about psychedelics and how they can intersect with queerness and the journey toward authenticity. I recently went on a new(ish) bi podcast called "This Feels Bi", where I was interviewed by co-hosts Amanda Kohr and Erin Deason about one of my favorite topics. We talked about cannabis, mushrooms, ayahuasca, LSD, and more, and I got to share how these medicines have helped me on my bi journey. Included here is a 14-minute segment -- for the full interview, check out their podcast! (Link below.)

Continuing on the same theme, I'm also sharing two clips from my YouTube page about a) how psychedelics are a lot closer to therapy than a party drug, and b) why integration after a psychedelic journey is even more important than the trip itself. Finally, I share some of the insights I received on a very recent medicine experience.

Stay tuned for more episodes coming soon, including a 3-part series on BFF!

Subscribe to my newsletter: https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/newsletter

"This Feels Bi" on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/psychedelics-feel-bi-with-rob-cohen/id1846927777?i=1000747212791

"This Feels Bi "on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3OdB6atfY1y1mcqLMl57hD

Follow "This Feels Bi" on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/DP4OlJJDyd8/

My website: https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/

Last chance for free coaching intro sessions: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/25-minute-free-intro-call

Psychedelics Feel Bi

In Part 2, Dr. Joshua Gebhardt (a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with mixed-orientation couples) turns the lens inward and shares his own personal story — growing up in a conservative Christian environment, navigating masculinity as a college athlete, entering a mixed-orientation marriage himself, and slowly coming to terms with his gay identity. He reflects on the role of religion, shame, repression, and community expectations, and how those experiences ultimately shaped both his life and his work as a therapist. We also discussed how his own experience of coming out to his wife and ultimately divorcing informs his approach with clients. This is an honest look at untangling who you were taught to be from who you truly are — and how that journey can transform the way you help others do the same.

The Gebhardt Group: https://www.thegebhardtgroup.co/home

Email Joshua directly: josh@gebhardtgroup.co

Sign up for Dr. Gebhardt’s Group, “Women Navigating Marriages with Gay or Bisexual Men”: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe-0jju_kpELwu9HPnwP6LA720NcnkYR7UR3lGRcdedqrWqgg/viewform

Support for people in Mixed-Orientation Marriages:

HOW (Husbands Out to Wives): https://how-support.org/

GAMMA: https://www.gammasupport.org/

MOR (Mixed-Orientation Marriages) & More: https://www.morandmore.org/

Mixed Orientation Marriage: Pathways to Success (Free E-Book): https://mixedorientation.com/

AlternatePath (for women who have discovered their husbands are bi or gay): https://groups.io/g/AlternatePath

(Note: these show notes previously and erroneously mentioned "OurPath", which is not my recommendation and which has been traumatic for people I've spoken to.)

More from Rob & Two Bi Guys:

Support Two Bi Guys on Patreon! (Bonus content, early access, and more) https://www.patreon.com/robertbrookscohen

Two Bi Guys on YouTube: youtube.com/@twobiguys [youtube.com/@twobiguys?themeRefresh=1]

Subscribe to my newsletter (for updates on group coaching and more): https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/newsletter

Book a free intro call with me (re: individual coaching): https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/25-minute-free-intro-call

Attend “Fluid Conversations”: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/fluid-conversations

Visit my website: https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/

Follow TBG on IG (and message me for direct correspondence): https://www.instagram.com/twobiguys/

Dr. Joshua Gebhardt’s Queer Journey: Faith, Marriage, and Finding Himself (Part 2)

We're back! This week I sit down with Dr. Joshua Gebhardt — a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in mixed-orientation couples — to explore what really happens when guys come out to their wives as queer. Drawing from his doctoral research and years of clinical experience, Joshua breaks down the most common challenges couples face after disclosure, why shame and panic often dominate the early stages, and how counselors can either help or unintentionally harm these vulnerable relationships. We unpack the most common relationship outcomes (and how to know which is most likely...), the role of sexual identity (bi v. gay v. something else), how couples navigate opening up their relationship (or not), the best and worst therapy models, and what it takes to navigate authenticity, safety, and connection when everything feels at stake.

Stay tuned for Part 2, coming next week, where we go deeper into Joshua's personal queer journey. You won't want to miss it.

The Gebhardt Group: https://www.thegebhardtgroup.co/home

Email Joshua directly: josh@gebhardtgroup.co

Sign up for Dr. Gebhardt’s Group, “Women Navigating Marriages with Gay or Bisexual Men”: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe-0jju_kpELwu9HPnwP6LA720NcnkYR7UR3lGRcdedqrWqgg/viewform

Support for people in Mixed-Orientation Marriages:

HOW (Husbands Out to Wives): https://how-support.org/

GAMMA: https://www.gammasupport.org/

MOR (Mixed-Orientation Marriages) & More: https://www.morandmore.org/

Mixed Orientation Marriage: Pathways to Success (Free E-Book): https://mixedorientation.com/

AlternatePath (for women who have discovered their husbands are bi or gay): https://groups.io/g/AlternatePath

(Note: these show notes previously and erroneously mentioned "OurPath", which is not my recommendation and which has been traumatic for people I've spoken to.)

More from Rob & Two Bi Guys:

Support Two Bi Guys on Patreon! (Bonus content, early access, and more) https://www.patreon.com/robertbrookscohen

Two Bi Guys on YouTube: youtube.com/@twobiguys [youtube.com/@twobiguys?themeRefresh=1]

Subscribe to my newsletter (for updates on group coaching and more): https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/newsletter

Book a free intro call with me (re: individual coaching): https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/25-minute-free-intro-call

Attend “Fluid Conversations”: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/fluid-conversations

Visit my website: https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/

Follow TBG on IG (and message me for direct correspondence): https://www.instagram.com/twobiguys/

Mixed-Orientation Couples Therapy with Dr. Joshua Gebhardt (Part 1)

Welcome to Season 10 and the future of Two Bi Guys (By One Bi Guy)! I’m switching things up a bit, and today I’m sharing a couple of explainer videos that I recently posted to YouTube, plus important updates about the pod and my coaching practice.

I will continue to interview activists, authors, artists, researchers, coaches, and others with interesting things to share about bisexuality, fluidity, gender, and the relationship spectrum on this platform, but I am also branching out and creating new types of content, and I’m experimenting with cross-pollination. Let me know what you think. If you haven’t yet checked out my YouTube page, I’d love it if you would (link below), and I hope you enjoy today’s explainers!

Stay tuned for more interviews and other experiments coming soon. Thanks for being here and helping me get to season 10!

Two Bi Guys on YouTube: youtube.com/@twobiguys [youtube.com/@twobiguys?themeRefresh=1]

Subscribe to my newsletter (for updates on group coaching and more): https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/newsletter

Book a free intro call with me (re: individual coaching): https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/25-minute-free-intro-call

Attend “Fluid Conversations”: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/fluid-conversations

Visit my website: https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/

Follow TBG on IG (and message me for direct correspondence): https://www.instagram.com/twobiguys/

Stop Coming Out! (Do This Instead...)

Welcome to the season 9 finale of Two Bi Guys (By One Bi Guy)! My guest is Wade Shepard, founder of a play party called “Bi for Bi”, which takes place quarterly in New York City. We chatted about why he started a party that caters to bisexuality (and specifically offers a venue for bi men to explore openly), what the party is like, and the kinky icebreakers that get things going (human cake anyone?) – plus one of the other parties Wade facilitates, focused on gangbangs, and how sexual fluidity plays a role. We also got into Wade’s queer journey, which he described as easier than most and without much drama, and how his sexuality and masculinity co-exist.

Thanks for listening to this season of Two Bi Guys, and stay tuned for more! The cadence and focus of my work is always shifting, but I plan to continue having these conversations and sharing more stories in the very near future – stay tuned.

Follow Wade on IG: https://www.instagram.com/the.slutlife

Join Hacienda, the club that hosts “Bi for Bi”: https://wearehacienda.com/

Subscribe to Rob’s newsletter: https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/newsletter

Check out Two Bi Guys on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@twobiguys

Free intro call with Rob re: coaching: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/25-minute-free-intro-call

Share your story with me! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSftX6JoZ2CUJ5QVNSxiy0wzMPJiq6Vp3jrWZpXtvGnLQtIHmA/viewform?usp=header

Bi for Bi with Wade Shepard

A podcast about sexual fluidity, the gender spectrum, masculinity, intimacy, relationships and more, now hosted by one bi guy.