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The Bi F*** Fest is About Way More Than F***ing
1 Playsin 17 hours
Two Bi Guys is back! This is the first of three episodes I recorded at BFF — the Bi F*** Fest — a biannual, four-day play party in Palm Springs, centering bisexuality and especially bi men. I recorded these interviews in the pool on the last day, mic in hand, wandering around while people were doing... various things around me. It's that kind of episode.
In a strange (or maybe perfect?) turn of events, I was at this BFF while on a plant medicine diet that called for no sex, no masturbation, no intentional raising of sexual energy. So I was very much a celibate voyeur at a bisexual orgy — and it gave me a different lens on the whole thing. The community, the storytelling, the emotional depth of what people shared — I absorbed all of it more than ever.
This episode contains six interviews:
· Shay and Scarlet — a married bi couple who came out to each other on the same night in 2017 at their local pub
· Hannah— my friend who is literally the reason I ended up at this BFF despite the diet. A queer, sapphic woman who loves being in a space where masculinity is queer
· Vinny and his partner — raised Catholic, overcoming shame, figuring out his attractions lean more toward women at about 80/20, and his female partner navigating what it means to really let him be himself
· L and B — a younger couple, together 15 years, who opened up and discovered they were both bi. (And one of them can do pole tricks ;)
· Jose— a psychiatrist who has been to BFF ten times and gave one of the most beautiful answers about what community means
· Sean and Derek — Sean is 56, newly out as bi, and his friend Derek who has helped normalize the experience. Sean's story of how his wife paved the way and made his own coming easier — and why that made him feel guilty — is one of the most moving parts of this whole series
Yes, there's a lot of sex at BFF. But what keeps people coming back — what made some of them cry talking to me — is feeling truly seen. The sex is the icing. The community is the cake.
If you're curious about attending BFF, it's not something you can just Google. You can reach out directly to Brad, the organizer, at his profile "CUTEONES" on Kasidie, SDC or Lifetylelounge, or at "CUTEONES1" on SLS or Fetlife.
There's no video for this series, but the audio is definitely explicit. Part 2 and Part 3 are coming soon!
Links:
· Rob's Website (and more info on coaching): robertbrookscohen.com
· Book a complimentary coaching session with Rob: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/complimentary-coaching-session
· Support this podcast: patreon.com/robertbrookscohen
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Transcript
Welcome Back After Technical Delays
00:00:12
Speaker
Hello, everybody. Welcome back to 2xGuys. I'm excited to be back. It's been a little while since the last episode, probably a little too long.
00:00:22
Speaker
Thank you for your patience. I actually had edited this episode about a month ago. I was very close to the end of the edit and ready to post it. when iMovie got all messed up and I lost all of the work.
00:00:35
Speaker
Thankfully, I didn't lose the audio, but I lost my work. I was very upset, but it all is for the best. It's given me some opportunities to rework some things, look for some new editing software that will streamline things, and to refine some other things about my coaching practice that I thought were ready to announce back then, but in fact were not.
Preview of 'Buy F Fest' Episodes
00:00:55
Speaker
And I will be excited to announce them soon.
00:00:57
Speaker
today. So in just a moment, we'll get into the episode. i have three episodes recorded at BFF this year, which is the Buy F Fest. um ah Maybe I can just say Buy Fuck Fest. Can I say that? That's what it's called. We've done episodes about it in the past.
00:01:15
Speaker
This is an explicit episode now. um Last year I did one episode about summer BFF. It was my second time there. This year it was winter BFF I went to in January.
00:01:27
Speaker
And a lot of people wanted to be interviewed. It was not hard to find people, especially after the first episode. So I've got three episodes for you. Part one is today. and they're all really fascinating. I really love these interviews. But before we get there...
Podcast Journey Since 2019
00:01:44
Speaker
I just wanted to share a quick note about my coaching practice. I've been making this podcast now since 2019. Hard to believe it's been that long. We're we're closing in on 100 episodes.
00:01:58
Speaker
So whether you are new or coming back, I am really glad you're here. Welcome to the 2BuyGuys community. If you have been listening or if you are starting to listen and something I'm talking about here resonates with you,
00:02:11
Speaker
I want you to know that this is exactly the kind of work that I have been helping people explore in coaching. I have been on a coaching journey for a little over two years now. I love the work. It feels very aligned with who I am. And it really works. Like i hire coaches for myself, too, because I really do see the value and magic in it.
00:02:33
Speaker
And I've especially been leaning into group coaching lately. And these group cohorts have been really magical and amazing just to build this by community and see people learning from each other.
00:02:47
Speaker
It's really been wonderful. And I'm loving this work. I've decided to just simplify my offer and make it really, really easy and more accessible for you to step in with it. So if something resonates, trust that feeling. If you feel like you want to meet me and share your story with me and see what we could explore in coaching, trust that feeling. And you can now book a complimentary coaching session with me, not just an intro call, but an actual coaching session. We will talk about what's going on in your life, get some clarity, and you'll get a real sense of what it's like to work together and where we could be and what could be transformed in your life through this process.
00:03:28
Speaker
And if you do that complimentary session and feels like something you want to continue, we'll talk about the next steps from there. I am trying to keep things simple and flexible, and I really don't want cost to be the thing that gets in the way. So if you have been curious, I really encourage you to reach out and we will make it work
Free Coaching Sessions Invitation
00:03:49
Speaker
somehow. If you're interested to learn more or book a session, head to robertbrookscohen.com. It'll be in the show notes. Okay, that's coaching. I'd love to meet you and work with you.
00:04:00
Speaker
BFF. This episode is about BFF. We've got a ton of interviews over the next three episodes. I couldn't figure out any better way to present them to you than in the order they were
Experience at BFF Event in Palm Springs
00:04:11
Speaker
recorded. So here they are. Basically, if you haven't listened to the last BFF episode...
00:04:16
Speaker
BFF is a bi-annual event, twice a year event in Palm Springs. It takes place at the Exotic Dreams Resort, which is a clothing optional resort in Palm Springs. It is a four-day essentially play party. There is a ton of play happening. There are over 250 people there at the summer, over 200 in the winter. It is obviously a play-centered event, and yet what you will hear in these interviews, and if you remember last year's episode, The most important thing about it is the community, and that is what keeps bringing people back. The sex is like the icing on the cake, but the validation and acceptance of bisexuality, particularly bisexual men, and the atmosphere is just really lovely and sweet and caring and accepting. And my experience at this BFF was even more about the community and talking to people rather than the play because
00:05:15
Speaker
I was on a plant medicine diet in January when I went to BFF. I almost didn't go, but my friend Hannah had heard about it and wanted to go, and I had been talking about it with her, and so I ended up deciding to go. But as part of this plant medicine diet, in addition to a strict food diet, no salt, um no unnecessary media, other things. In addition to all that, the diet included no sex or masturbation, no intentional raising of your sexual energy. Some of you have heard about my plant medicine journey as well. This particular diet was not necessarily psychedelic. It wasn't planning for a psychedelic experience. The diet itself, you could say, was mind-altering in and of itself. And I was communing with a sacred plant.
00:06:09
Speaker
And by eliminating certain things from your diet and eliminating unnecessary media and eliminating sexual energy, you create a clearer channel to the wisdom of the plants and you just become a clear
Personal Insights from Plant Medicine Diet
00:06:23
Speaker
vessel. And so that's what was going on for me when I was at BFF and when I recorded these interviews. So I just say that because you may hear us talking about my celibacy during that period. Pretty soon after BFF, that plant medicine diet ended. And then interestingly, a couple months later at the end of March, i had another psychedelic plant medicine experience.
00:06:48
Speaker
And I got this strong hit to explore celibacy, this intuition to explore celibacy. So interestingly, maybe that planted the seed when I was at BFF. But as I edit this and put it out, I am also exploring three-month period of celibacy. So it's been quite interesting for me to listen to these interviews while I'm in this period.
00:07:13
Speaker
And i will just say, like, there is nothing wrong with sex. There is nothing wrong with sexual energy. It is a beautiful thing. It is wonderful. Obviously, this podcast is about sexual energy in many ways and why our desires are divine and why expressing ourselves authentically, both our identity and our sexual energy, is very important and healing. And yet, right now, I'm also experiencing that there's a flow to all these things, an ebb and a flow.
00:07:43
Speaker
And there is a season for everything. And there are definitely things I was doing that were using my sexual energy excessively. And i am noticing that more
Exploration and Growth at BFF
00:07:56
Speaker
and noticing how my sexual energy flows and how it's related to my creative energy and what else is able to come through when I'm not releasing my sexual energy as much as I have been. So I am learning a lot and I'm excited to share more about this journey as we go. i'm about six weeks into this current period of celibacy.
00:08:20
Speaker
And yet I know that I really needed my slut era, especially when I was like just coming out as bisexual. There was a lot I needed to explore to understand myself. And I'm very glad I did those things. So i trust all of it and I trust the timing of it all.
00:08:39
Speaker
And it's just interesting that this is going to be put out while I'm celibate because you will hear about a lot of sex stuff in this episode. So I hope you enjoy this episode about BFF. If you are interested in attending BFF, it is not something you can just easily Google or find on the internet.
Contacting BFF Organizer and Series Info
00:08:57
Speaker
But you can connect with the organizer, Brad. He is on multiple lifestyle websites, Cassidy, SDC, or Lifestyle Lounge, at the profile Cute Ones, C-U-T-E-O-N-E-S, or on SLS or FetLife at Cute Ones with the number one, C-U-T-E-O-N-E-S-1.
00:09:21
Speaker
I will also put all that in the show notes, so contact Brad, he will get you on the email list and you can attend BFF. Brad and his wife will be in the third installment of this series, so stay tuned. You will hear from them and hear how they got involved with BFF and what it's like to organize this event. But first, we'll start with some interviews i did in the pool.
Behind the Scenes of BFF Interviews
00:09:45
Speaker
I brought my phone and my microphone into the pool on the last day because that's where everybody was.
00:09:52
Speaker
And so that's where I recorded these interviews. If you can picture it, there's dozens of people at the pool this afternoon, probably a hundred people, some all around there coming in and out. Most of them are naked. Some of them are having sex around us on the cabana beds.
00:10:11
Speaker
You are not allowed technically to have sex in the pool. That doesn't mean I didn't see some sexual energy in the pool. And yeah, i just walked around with my mic interviewing people. So enjoy this series of interviews.
00:10:25
Speaker
First up, we have Shay and his partner, Scarlett.
00:10:35
Speaker
Enjoy. It's not a video. No, I know it's not, but in my mind, I'm like, what are you?
00:10:45
Speaker
This is the one podcast where I don't do video. I don't think that would be appropriate. Here, would you like to hold this? Sure. Don't get a wet and just tell us a little about yourself and what brings you here.
00:10:58
Speaker
Okay. Well, my my code name is Shay. I've been here. this is our fifth time here and with my wife. We're both by. We came out in 2017 on the same night.
00:11:09
Speaker
And we came down, kind of pushed our boundaries, came down a couple years back. And just everybody was so cool and friendly and sexy. And the environment's great. And we've been coming back ever since.
00:11:21
Speaker
Cool. Tell me about coming out on the same night. um well you want to say it or not we were so we've been swinging since 2012 and i think it started at a orgy one night and my wife decided she wanted two dicks in her mouth it just kind of happened and mine was one another guy and our dicks are touching and i'm like This isn't terrible. And then she was getting like, it's her thing. She loves it.
00:11:49
Speaker
Um, and then just kind of thinking about it and it just kind of evolved and thought about it more and more. And then women approach her and just one night we were talking about it and I'm like, yeah, I might suck a dick.
00:12:05
Speaker
And then she's like, well, I might, I'm kind of just too. And next thing I was talking about it and there we were both out, you it was over, it was on date night over dinner at our local pub. So and you had a do you want to be up? you want to share also or no?
00:12:18
Speaker
Well like for me like in in in my here, sorry even like that So when we were swinging i was like I can never be with woman like never and then we're like Maybe that's kind of hot and then we would talk and we'd be like what do you think and i'm like Yeah, that's hot. I think I could do that.
00:12:41
Speaker
But I feel like when we came out, we're kind of like, oh, okay. but we're We're both fine. And then we look back. You look back over all the years and stuff, and people telling us, yeah, I think you're bi.
00:12:55
Speaker
Like, no, I'm not fine. I'm straight. I look back. right thought All the signs were there. And then going back to middle school, high school. Oh, yeah? Like, what what do you look back on? remember Like, what a...
00:13:08
Speaker
be like, oh, you saw dick, you're a fag, blah, bla blah, blah, and all that nasty shit that kids say. And that never bothered me. It was like, okay, there's a dick there. you know doesn't I don't think it's gross. I don't think it's hot. It's just, it's there. Okay, it's part of the sexual act.
00:13:23
Speaker
I see like, that's cool. So it never bothered me. um That might have been clue one. um And then the the fab five, i don't know if you know who they are.
00:13:35
Speaker
Yeah, I'm like, as a kid, I'm like, they're kind of attractive for dudes. You know, I like girls, but those attractive dudes. And then over the years, like, back to like, yeah, they're hot, blah, blah, blah.
00:13:47
Speaker
So, and then i don't know what else. You see the signs. trans brown Yeah. your favorite part of BFF?
00:13:58
Speaker
what's your favorite part of the At the end of the day, the friends I make, you know, the sex is fun too. um People watching, everybody's been real nice. I mean, watching full dancing poolside while you're naked. oh How awful is that? A lot of things happen poolside. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:19
Speaker
Cool. Anything else you want to share with everyone? um Live every moment you can. That's a hard lesson I learned, right? Learn to be present because then you get to experience things like this. um You know, you can be afraid of it and then not do it, but you open your mind and try it out. You might like it.
00:14:38
Speaker
You keep doing it. You don't have to. yeah But have fun. Live life to the fullest as much as you can. That's about it. yeah yeah Sorry, it's not very wise. no It is very wise. it's It's simple, but people don't do it. And it's like, it's so people you know it's so scary to take these leaps. You think it's going to change everything or change your identity or your life. And it's like, well, it doesn't. It doesn't. You're the same person. You can go back if you don't like something.
00:15:06
Speaker
In other realms we try stuff and we adjust. And in this one it's like if you touch a dick you're gay. But not really. Nope. That's just that what people think. Yeah.
00:15:17
Speaker
Cool. Anything else you want people to know? What's your favorite part? um I think my favorite part is being out in the open and having sexual adventures. Cool side. Like that's really cool and fun. Yeah. And then... um She likes to watch.
00:15:33
Speaker
it What was it? It was three BFFs ago. We were we went to someone's room. It was last winter. Oh, sorry. Last winter. We got invited for shots and then it turned into an orgy.
00:15:44
Speaker
So that was really fun. An orgy with many people. Yeah, but all the girls, all the girls, women, excuse me, all the women kind of started off to themselves and they had a train going up the bed and up the wall and us guys were standing there just kind of watching enjoying ourselves. then it's like, hey, we can have fun. See this. We started having fun. And then after all the trains rotated, they all converged at the station and it was quite fun. I love it.
00:16:14
Speaker
Everyone can have fun here, no matter who's in the room. I heard somebody yesterday said they didn't they don't like the word orgy, but she wanted to have a 13-way instead.
00:16:25
Speaker
some reason, the or word orgy didn't work for her, but she was going to go have a 13-way. So, you know, whatever you call it, it's all the same. All fun. Yeah.
00:16:36
Speaker
Thank you. right. Thanks, guys. Thank you.
00:16:44
Speaker
All right, that was Shay and Scarlett. And next up is an interview with my friend Hannah, who is the reason I ended up at this BFF, even though i was celibate.
00:16:56
Speaker
Thank you, Hannah. Here's
00:17:03
Speaker
Here, you want to introduce yourself and what brings you here? Um... Hey! am friends with Rob, your host. and ra a And I have a lot of clout coming here I'm friends with Hot Rob.
00:17:23
Speaker
And we're lying in the pool. There's someone who's sitting eating a sandwich in the cabana and then right behind her. These two guys are making out.
00:17:34
Speaker
It's very hot. Yeah, tell us what what we're seeing around the pool, Ren. On the pool, there's also this pair of three, this couple, and a new friend they made here And they had some fun on Friday, and they're having a little repeat performance right now. They've been going at it for about an hour, I think. They were making a lot of noise, too. Like, lovely noise. And then we have a pole right by the pool, and our our friend is teaching other people how...
00:18:07
Speaker
to do moves that I don't even know the names of. Got a lot of applause. We have some people knitting. We have some people talking about harm reduction, best practices.
00:18:22
Speaker
We have a lot of people. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, over there. They're talking about it. um We have someone who's sitting down right now. I think he's about to get his dick sucked at the edge of the pool.
00:18:34
Speaker
I just sold him one of my books. Nice. Now he's getting his dick signed. Did you sign it for him I signed it for him. Nice. Okay, we have another new friend that I just met here.
00:18:44
Speaker
Oh, the person who was just learning how to do pole, she stubbed her toe on that earlier and did her her toe, so I'm very impressed she went back near it. Okay, yes, he is getting his dick sucked now.
00:18:56
Speaker
And what did we see yesterday by the pool? Do you want to share? Oh, God. Yeah, i think I think you should ask him to share about that experience. Actually, I should. It was Peter from last year's episode.
00:19:11
Speaker
So how does BFF compare to your expectations?
00:19:17
Speaker
I think... It lives up to all the things that you said it would in terms of everybody just being so friendly. I feel like it's such a nice place to just come and meet people. And honestly, I was like, I'm just looking forward to having, which is funny to say about.
00:19:36
Speaker
coming here, like I'm looking forward to having this relaxing Palm Springs weekend and laying in the sun, relaxing in the pool, hanging out the hot tub, dancing, meeting new people.
00:19:48
Speaker
And yeah, everyone's just so friendly. You tell anyone it's your first time and they're just so so nice and warm and friendly and already just being here for two days, it's fun to walk around and be oh, hey, you again, nice to see So yeah, everyone is is so friendly.
00:20:06
Speaker
Cool. And as you say that, there's another dick sucking happening in the hot tub. Where? In the hot tub. Oh, nice. No, I'm really, like, my head's in a swivel. I, you know, i mostly go to sapphic play parties, and a lot of people that...
00:20:26
Speaker
I hang out with are like queer, lesbian, and more femme and I think there's really this narrative of like, oh I don't want to be around men at play parties and in those spaces but I think that's what i love about being at a space like BFF where masculinity is just so hot because it is queer masculinity and true concern yeah so this is it's really awesome to be in this space because I'm not often at straight play parties where you know partners are there and women can hook up and that's hot but men can't really touch each other and being in a space like this where yeah they're sucking more and more nicks than than anyone and getting much like it's just really awesome to see the intimacy and like the sensuality between men it's it's just really beautiful and special
00:21:19
Speaker
Cool. You know, does does this space does this space feel safer to you than ah other spaces with men? And if so, like, why, do you think? Yeah, totally. i think that i I'm more interested in watching men play with each other then having one-on-one play with men. Them pursuing you all the time. Yeah, and also i think if I'm going to hook up with men,
00:21:48
Speaker
I like hooking up with queer men. um Just having like that shared identity is really nice. And knowing there's just endless combinations and possibilities being in this space. It's not just, oh, this is what's going to happen because like this is the type of play that's allowed. it's like every possible combination happens here, which is awesome.
00:22:10
Speaker
Lovely. lovely All right. and Any final thoughts or anything you want people to know? um Yeah, Hot Rob is really brave for coming to weekend-long play party and not being able to have sex So you should all tell him that you're really proud of him. Yeah, what do you think of the fact that I'm doing this? It's your fault, actually, because I wouldn't have come at all. But you encouraged me, and I was like, you know, i guess i could go and not have sex.
00:22:41
Speaker
I think, yeah I think it could totally be hard, but also it's super fun to be in this space and be a lawyer. And so if you're someone where you're kind of nervous about being in a space like this, you're not really sure what you'd want to do or if you'd want to play, I would say, yeah, it's still such a welcoming space to come to and just I like the people. Yeah, I know, it's improvisation. Yeah, this our friend who just got off the pole and was doing fabulous tricks and everyone was applauding.
00:23:10
Speaker
Nice work. Yeah, I'm enjoying being here and not having sex. I mean, I had lots of sex the last two times and this is a different experience, but it's it's not any less enjoyable, actually. It's kind of fun.
00:23:25
Speaker
Yeah, honestly, like being in Palm Springs and... Lying in the sun, hanging out a pool and meeting awesome some people, having great conversation, watching fun, fun shit happening all around you.
00:23:39
Speaker
Like, it's a pretty great way spend your weekend. Totally. Cool. Thank you, Hannah.
00:23:48
Speaker
All right, that was my friend Hannah. Next up, we have Vinnie and his female partner who has remained anonymous. She joins midway through the interview. Enjoy Vinnie and his partner.
00:24:04
Speaker
Okay, so tell us a little about yourself and what brings you here. Yeah, so... This is my second BFF.
00:24:18
Speaker
I came, our first one, this is my partner. No name. You can be anonymous here. There's no video on this podcast episode. um And the first BFF was overwhelming for me.
00:24:37
Speaker
It was the alive overwhelming ohha ah lot A lot of stuff going on can happen and not sure what to do and not, you know, a lot of insecurities and like,
00:24:52
Speaker
it' And then this time, it's been amazing. It just, the support from my partner, ah who is female, hospital has let me be myself with a lot of conversations with her. hate Meaning, are you okay if I just go do my thing? Yeah. Is that different from last time?
00:25:21
Speaker
Um, because I also have a lot of codependency stuff where I don't want her to be, um, so if I'm off with someone, want her to be okay. yeah But my urge is to be with other people.
00:25:44
Speaker
So, um, it's been great. I mean, I mean, just now, this morning, Matthew, our conversation, um, I've just been with how many people?
00:25:56
Speaker
Four or five in the last hour and a half because she told me it's okay and then we check in after and say, how are you doing? That was the assignment. That was their assignment. You go do you and don't worry about me.
00:26:08
Speaker
Yeah. And I'm going to do me and I'm going to be okay. Yeah, but that the bisexuality has been a struggle for me. Yeah, same for, yeah. grew up Catholic, Hispanic family. Not wanting to be, not enjoying, or thinking about wanting to be with a guy.
00:26:25
Speaker
And then when finally was the first PFF,
00:26:33
Speaker
not wanting to be not enjoying like or thinking about wanting to go with a guy
00:26:41
Speaker
and then when i finally was the first pff I'm like, I like dick, but not that much. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Okay. It's a spectrum. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, but i also like being with women and, and, um, I'm like the 80% with women and i'm like that eighty percent Women and like 20% men. I haven't been bottomed yet, which is one of my things I wanted to do here.
00:27:12
Speaker
Haven't found the right person. We are poly. So I also like cherish the connection. so i also like cherish the connection But also, also wanted to be here and saying, don't need to have a connection with anyone.
00:27:32
Speaker
I just need to be able to enjoy myself sexually. Which has been like a struggle between like, do I really need to have a connection with someone or can I just have sex? what's ended up happening so far this week? so so this acted a So this morning it was a lot of sex with no connection.
00:27:55
Speaker
Good job, good job. How did you enjoy that? I loved it. i loved it. Cool. I loved it. And for me, it's more about pleasing other people. I'm a people pleaser. Yeah.
00:28:11
Speaker
So if somebody wants to connect and have sex, I will with them and they have a great time, but then as I'm
00:28:25
Speaker
And like, what, if anything, have you learned from these conversations you two are having with each other? are like, how has it changed your relationship, if it has?
00:28:37
Speaker
um checking in, finally being able to say, this is what I struggle with and saying, I struggle with, so like when she's away, like so she goes to take a nap, goes to do other things, I go crazy.
00:28:59
Speaker
hu But when she's here, I hesitate about being with other people, kissing other people, caressing other people, because I'm afraid that that's gonna cause her discomfort.
00:29:15
Speaker
So. yeah But you're like more able to talk to each other about that this time, or is it? is I think we've always been good about talking about it. Yeah, we've always had great conversations about Being able to act on. Acting And trusting. conversation. Yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah that's That's where that's more the power comes. I kept like looking around and I'm like, okay, I'm having sex again. Now I'm having sex again. Now I'm having sex again. And I'm like,
00:29:47
Speaker
I'm fine. And then I checked in with her. I'm like, are you okay? She goes, yeah, I'm okay. Cool. Funny that works. But I still think, like, are you really okay? Or you just tell me you're okay?
00:29:58
Speaker
Yeah, that's the deeper work. yeah Yeah. And is that is it newer for you that you're okay with it, if you want to answer? Or is it is it a process? or you It's a process. And I want to say it's like... um It's a journey where sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's hard. i have be and So this weekend is different than the last time we were here and it has its own unique challenges because that's the way relationships work. yeah yeah yes New stuff always comes up. You get over one hill and then there's another one.
00:30:31
Speaker
Just when you think you got your shit together. Something else comes up and you're ah, fuck me. See, BFF is like a psychedelic journey. It's meant to, you're you're growing and expanding with each new experience. Intensive, hands-on, therapy by fire, yeah if you allow it to. I like that, as it's therapy, because it is, like you're forced to confront things that normally you're not.
00:31:00
Speaker
If you're into that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, You can also just have fun and play and not think about any of it. But that's not usually the way we operate. Cool. Good job pushing your to your edges and confronting stuff.
00:31:14
Speaker
any Anything else you want to share or final thoughts? Either of you? What do you want people to know about BFF? I think it's a great...
00:31:27
Speaker
Great community. I think it's a great. I met a lot of great people, even from last time. it's like, it becomes more comfortable. Like the more I come, like, not comfortable that way, but the more I come in. but um I get to meet more people. I get to like talk to people and like see like where they're at.
00:31:53
Speaker
I think one of the biggest things, know, and with this is the,
00:31:59
Speaker
um, this, is not the stigma, but like the wearing condoms. Um, what, what are you comfortable with? being pressured into like, and this last time heard a lot of great conversations about like, I'm going to use a condom. Um, I'm not going to use a condom.
00:32:21
Speaker
I had just a quick conversation with someone saying, most guys always say that they can't, they don't feel good without a condom or like they keep with a condom, right? yeah And my honesty is like, it's more about connection for me than a condom.
00:32:38
Speaker
Because if I'm using a condom and I'm having sex with you, it's more mental than actually yeah feeling. yeah Yeah, it does. And yeah, everyone's everyone's different. And that's cool that people are checking in more about it and actually communicating it instead of just assuming. yeah yeah Cool. It feels like this time around, there's some more open conversations about it instead of just trying to convince people. Whereas we before,
00:33:10
Speaker
People that are like, well, we're on prep and we're on prep and you should be too. yeah so and And it feels like there's a little more respect around that in the conversations this time. It's like, just because that's your choice, that's great. But it's also completely viable and reasonable for other people who are like, I understand that. And I also want you to use a condom. Yeah.
00:33:31
Speaker
yeah It feels a little more defensive in that area this time than it has in the past. Cool. I wonder why. I wonder what's changed, but it's great that it has. There's no like signs up that say to do that. the cult Maybe the culture is shifting. There was a shift, I think, in the Telegram conversations ahead of time.
00:33:51
Speaker
Oh, that's good. yeah theres There's been more conversations than Telegram about um just because you test and you're on prep, STIs are still STIs and you can still get other things. And it doesn't obligate somebody to then force you to have sex without a car note. It's like, I get it, you have a clean test.
00:34:14
Speaker
My comfort level is still at my comfort level. Yeah. And I feel like the conversations were handled a little more delicately as your resign instead of like, this is the right thing.
00:34:29
Speaker
It's like, well, it is for you. It's a little more vulnerable and real. And feel like the women are being more vulnerable. like the women are being more do it Versus a very masculine, well it feels way better without a condom. Okay, good for you. But woman might thing to say. And if you choose to wear, if you want a condom then you can be if you choosy word
00:35:00
Speaker
i want you want a condom then you go had some music gun where we go but we don't play
00:35:08
Speaker
And it's good for you for holding the boundary and then it's good for other people for accepting the conversation. Maybe it's because bff turns 21 this year so like it's maturing. It's actually growing up. yeah yeah It's an adult and it can actually use a condom.
00:35:24
Speaker
Cool. Well, thank you both so much for joining. Thank you so much.
00:35:38
Speaker
That was Vinny and his partner. Next up are my friends L and B. You'll hear a little bit about this, but I had met them previously and told them about BFF, and this was their second time. Here are my friends L and B.
00:35:58
Speaker
Uh, cool. So, um, yeah, tell me little about yourselves and what brings you here.
00:36:07
Speaker
We live in San Francisco and you bring us here. Want to tell the story? Sure. I had met Rob at a sex party in LA we ended up and another friend there as well and then we ended up having a lot of fun and then I asked him where he had met the other person and he said BFF and I was like that sounds like a good time and he invited me to come and said to bring my boyfriend.
00:36:32
Speaker
The rest is history. And yeah, what what brings you? and Tell us about yourself. And then that's what brought me to BFF six months ago for the first time. was like, I got invited to this four-day biology by a guy I met at a sex party. You want to come? And bro's like, yeah, let's do it. And now here we are.
00:36:55
Speaker
Lovely. And and how what do you think? like what was What was your first impression last year? Last year we showed up and there was probably, i don't know, 200 naked people in the pool.
00:37:09
Speaker
Which was um a little bit surprising walking in, but you quickly find out everyone's very chill and nice and it's just like fun to float around and talk to people and learn about their various stories.
00:37:21
Speaker
What was your impression? Yeah. I was really impressed and really liked the energy. um Our journey to being in an open relationship sort of came through like Burning Man and exploring through Orgy Dome and things like that.
00:37:36
Speaker
And the energy here reminds me of like Burning Man non-judgmentals or like anything goes energy that like fully liked and like it's hard to find and in the rest of the world.
00:37:49
Speaker
Yeah, cool. And can you tell us a little about your relationship and like how it's evolved to this point? Because it didn't start out this way. Yeah, so we um have been together for 15 years, a little more than 15 years.
00:38:04
Speaker
And the first 10-ish years, we're a monogamous, we were, you know, just so was they in relationship with each other and then decided that it would be nice to be able to explore a little bit and date other people since we had never really even dated other people much as adults.
00:38:20
Speaker
um And so we decided to open up and i when we opened up, I decided I wanted to start dating women and then we kind of followed suit and we started going to play parties and meeting other people and now here we are.
00:38:37
Speaker
Did you both know you were five Like when did you realize?
00:38:45
Speaker
I feel like I remember being quite young, like in my early 20s and like talking to me and i remember saying something like I don't... dating women doesn't seem like a bad idea like maybe it would be like something interesting to try and so I feel like it was something that we had kind of toyed with for a long time, but never, you know, never like really explored until we opened up.
00:39:11
Speaker
Yeah, similar. i never, I think I grew up in a very like progressive, like accepting environment and so was like allowed to explore femininity somewhat and had like long hair, like long blonde hair for very various periods as a kid.
00:39:32
Speaker
I'd be like mistaken for a girl and things. um So, basically, yeah, it's always been like a thread, but most specifically started exploring it after we opened up and group parties like this. Yeah.
00:39:50
Speaker
Although a dead giveaway is earlier people would ask us who like if we had a celebrity crush who we would hook up with. And I'd always say Ruby Rose and me would always say Arnold Schwarzenegger. And this was like when we were monogamous like very early on. So yeah we're straight. Yeah. So there's that.
00:40:12
Speaker
That's funny. And ah so what's your favorite part of BFF? Either last one, this one overall?
00:40:21
Speaker
people are feel like going in I see people in the chat say things that they were going to do here and I was like wow that's really that's ridiculous like I can't believe people are like coming up with that and you get here like oh they weren't kidding they meant everything they said it's neat just to see people be exploring and having your mind kind of open up by the activities different people are into and engaged in and and everyone's also just really nice. It's fun to chat and learn from other people and how they ended up here.
00:40:50
Speaker
wonder if some things you've seen that you didn't think were real or that you haven't seen elsewhere. i did see somebody have an an entire foot in their ass yesterday, and so that was a new experience for me. i had not seen that.
00:41:05
Speaker
A lot of people saw that. That was a whole show. It did have an emcee, so... There was an announcement made that we gathered. There was a whole preamble.
00:41:18
Speaker
What's your favorite part of the also the foot? The foot was was memorable. um I think also like, I kind of like just general like voyeurism watching other people do sexy things. And so like be able to sit in the hot tub and watching multiple hot people hook up around you is fun and sexy. And yeah.
00:41:42
Speaker
I like just love seeing the variety of things happening and people do like the people they're doing it with and just like you meet people and then the next day you see them in these different combinations with someone else you met and you're like i didn't expect them to be together but okay cool like and it's always happening all around us probably right behind me and certainly right behind you really yeah because 360 view all the time yeah this is a good spot to be yeah
00:42:15
Speaker
An important characteristic is there's cabanas around the pool, and it says specifically, cabanas are only for sex. You cannot sit in the cabanas. Every hotel should be like that.
00:42:27
Speaker
Cool. what ah Anything else you want people to know about BFF or about like sexuality in general? ah We thank Rob for bringing us to BFF and think you should come too. Cool. Anything else? thank you to this venue. It is epic. And the the most significant thing about it is there's no sex in the pool signs like permanently mounted everywhere.
00:42:53
Speaker
And yet we've defined her her, you know, bending the definition of sex in the pool because i did see someone get an underwater blow job a few minutes ago. yes ah Constantly testing that down.
00:43:08
Speaker
I haven't seen full penetration in the pool. I guess that's the that's really the main thing. And then also you, can I share that you were the one giving the show that someone else was telling us about about at the pole over there by the side of the pool. Tell us about that. Yeah, so I do dancing for fun, not professionally, but it's always been, it's a,
00:43:30
Speaker
form of exercise and dance form I enjoy and so someone conveniently brought a pole here which I wasn't expecting and so I was just you know practicing little tricks on it and some people came over and I started giving lessons that was fun and it is literally right next to the pool and how did it feel to have a bunch of spectators oh I'm not used to being the center of attention but it was nice that people were encouraged That's funny to hear you say because I have seen you be the center of attention here a couple of times.
00:44:06
Speaker
Cool, well um thank you guys for being on the podcast and I'm glad you came here and and brought me to Burning Man. i did the the reverse, you know, my entry was all this sexuality stuff and then 10 years later I went to Burning Man but I see the connection. yeah It was so fun, like seeing you at Burning Man and then like the number of times we randomly ran into you on the fly it was like magical. Yeah, and yes.
00:44:34
Speaker
that That was crazy. There was that one night we were like way out deep and I was by myself and I think doing some acid or something. And I just like, you popped up there. i was like, what are the odds? The odds of this are astronomical. mean But it was serendipitous.
00:44:51
Speaker
Cool. All right. Thanks, guys.
00:44:59
Speaker
That was L&B. Next up is an interview with Jose. Take it away,
00:45:12
Speaker
Okay, so tell us a a little about yourself and what brings you here. Well, i am I'm a psychiatrist and I'm here because this is a very cohesive, inclusive, and very down-to-earth group of people where everybody shares and mingles and participates interacts with everybody.
00:45:35
Speaker
Not only for sex, but there's also this community sense, which I feel like a psychiatrist has a lot of impact in mental health because it's not about prejudice or kind of judgment or being judgmental. It's more about yourself.
00:45:50
Speaker
Be free and be yourself and ease that anxiety, that fear in general. yeah Oh, i love that's cool that you're a psychiatrist. I want to ask you more about that. what like What do you make of the mental health of people here? Is that a weird question? like How does coming here affect people's mental health, do you think?
00:46:10
Speaker
I do not think that that affects. On the contrary, how what's the influence? I think it depends on each one each one's journey as to how you make out of it, what you learn, what you feel, what you embrace.
00:46:25
Speaker
And my thought is that be who you want to be. You do you. That frees you and that is very liberating.
00:46:36
Speaker
And that's a way for you to release the stress or the prejudices, maybe some depression and be more thoughtful about being in the moment. And that's what we're doing here. Cool. Yeah.
00:46:47
Speaker
How many of these have you been to? I think this is my eighth or 10th time. Oh, wow. wow Wow. What have you learned about yourself or how have you grown from being here that many times?
00:46:58
Speaker
that I'm very content to amongst these beautiful people, men, women, everybody. And I feel this is just another part of the chosen family that brings me joy and I feel I can share the joy with others.
00:47:15
Speaker
And again, this is just beautiful community for everybody. Cool, cool. What are some of the your best memories or the things you've loved the most in your time here?
00:47:27
Speaker
I think every moment is being a memory. every Every moment is different. But to me, the most important is when I come in and I see people that no matter whether you have sex or not, is the brotherhood, the sisterhood, the camaraderie, and the feeling safe, and with, among other beautiful people. That's what I learned.
00:47:51
Speaker
And I love it. Yeah, you can't do the things I'm looking around and seeing right now in public if you don't feel a sense of safety and a safe container. So that that's what allows for all this.
00:48:05
Speaker
I saw you, I think I saw you giving an underwater blowjob. Was that you? Yes, that was me. That's impressive. Well, I was trying to kind of over recall my swimmer skills, so by the if I don't know if did a good job anyway. Yeah, I thought there was no sex in the pool, but I guess we're back out. Are we talking about what is sex? Is we're going back to a sex or not sex? It's just oral yeah performance? Yeah, exactly. Well, hey, no nobody was complaining. so Yeah, no flip, like but this is the, Rob, this is the beauty plan that you can be having intimacy or connecting with others in sex way. Other people are socializing. Other people are watching. Everybody is, like, around. Like, nothing is happening because nothing is happening with everything. It's just a beautiful universe where we all cohabit. And that's what it's all about at the end.
00:48:57
Speaker
Beautiful. yeah What do you think of the fact that I'm here and not having sex all weekend? That... It's your journey, and which is beautiful. And this is also part of that we're here for.
00:49:09
Speaker
You don't need to come to events like this to have sex necessarily. you Yes, it's it looks beautiful, but it's also about the connection with yourself, identifying with your community and with yourself. So you are a handsome, beautiful man, and you are going through your journey, and that's fantastic. So that's why places like this is like, welcome, you're home.
00:49:33
Speaker
Thank you. I love that. I've been having a lot of funny conversations with people about that. But what you said is really how I'm feeling, which is like, yeah, the past two times I've come and have a lot of sex, but like there really is so much more going. That's really just one piece of it.
00:49:49
Speaker
It's part of this feeling of being free and liberated to do whatever you want. But it's not something you have to do. And you can enjoy this environment. ah for so many reasons, not just that. yeah Anything else you want people to know or any any final thoughts?
00:50:06
Speaker
Just try to be who you want to be. You do you. You be you. And feel okay with that. And the try to not hide or if not necessarily that you're going to be hiding around if you have to.
00:50:20
Speaker
However, it's okay to speak up. And at some point, it's liberated, not necessarily on the sexual... point of view, but it's okay to embrace, accept yourself.
00:50:32
Speaker
We need to learn how to be more compassionate mostly around these times. So try to put that away and think about yourself because you're working. Beautiful, lovely. Thank you very much, Jose.
00:50:47
Speaker
That was Jose. And last up for this episode, we have Sean and his friend Derek joins a little bit towards the end. Sean and his friend Derek, enjoy.
00:51:00
Speaker
Okay, hello. So tell us a little about yourself and what brings you here. Sean. I'm a new bi. I'm 56, gonna be 57, and just discovered I'm a bisexual man. Cool.
00:51:18
Speaker
And I found out about BFF through my wife, actually, who came out as bisexual about two years before me. Wow. That's nice. And so through her journey and helping her go to Seattle Pride, Disney Pride, and Boise Pride, which I'm from Boise.
00:51:38
Speaker
And... I started to have feelings and a lot of things I wrapped up and threw in the closet when I was a child because I had a lot of childhood trauma around sexuality.
00:51:51
Speaker
a I started coming up and I came here. we started We found a community near where we live and things have been wonderful. it's really as I'm 56 and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
00:52:06
Speaker
Beautiful, I love it. How did you get to the point where you were able to like accept it for yourself and start coming out? or if you have i just started, it was a I found pretty quickly coming out as bisexual was easy.
00:52:22
Speaker
But finding where I fit in that space was difficult. oh Because then all a sudden you come to these events and you're like, am I top, am I bottom? Am I oral only? Where do I fit?
00:52:32
Speaker
What feelings do I do? Do I like this? Do I not like this? So it's been about two years and actually I think this weekend really has solidified what I've thought all along. I'm pretty much bi-oral and, but I'll talk, because I love sucking dick. and but i'll But I'll talk occasionally to people I really trust.
00:52:50
Speaker
And I've made good friendship friendships with them. i must be one i must be an an anomaly because every time I've had a bottom, I just don't get anything out of it. And so it's really solidified me in this space where I'm like, okay, I finally know where I am.
00:53:06
Speaker
don't have to stress about it anymore. And I don't have to worry about when someone comes up and asks me, let's go play. Well, does he want me to be a bottom? Does he want me to a top? I don't have to worry about I know where my parameters are now.
00:53:17
Speaker
But it took about two years for me to finally find that space. That's awesome you did. It's like there are all these different spectrums, top, bottom, dominant, submissive, and they're not necessarily correlated with your sexuality or what gender you're attracted to, but but people seem to think they are a lot. So it's cool you found your place on it. I'm a total sub.
00:53:39
Speaker
i Oh, interesting. We're both sub tops then. For men, I cannot dominate women at all. I hate it. I've done it a couple times. i i hate it. It's the worst. But I am...
00:53:55
Speaker
I enjoy being a sub. i My favorite is strong women who know exactly who they are. um i have some trouble with male energy. Like last night I went into a room and it was like 30 guys and two women and there was so much testosterone in the room I had to leave. It was a little much for me. But um but that's another learning experience for me that I'm glad I figured out.
00:54:19
Speaker
Yeah, cool. Yes, everything that happens here, you can learn from. Like, even if you're in somewhere that's not for you, it's a it's a valuable experience. why do you I want to press you on this. Like, why do you think it was so easy to come out, but it also took you a long time to realize it in life?
00:54:39
Speaker
Well, i so when I was coming into puberty, 12, 13, me and my best friend, yeah we sucked dick all the time. And then his brother caught us. like What are you two faggots doing in there?
00:54:54
Speaker
Shut down. I was molested a little bit later by a family friend. so sexuality, that all just got, so all that interest disappeared. Stucked in. I met my wife a few years later. like so my focus was on her. Little did I know I was a sub and she's a total dom.
00:55:12
Speaker
And so we didn't discover that until a couple years ago either. But It's funny how that stuff is playing out. As you look back, you're like, oh, that all makes sense now. So my entire focus in my life is on her.
00:55:25
Speaker
We're here at this event because of her. If she says we're not going, we don't go. she says we're not playing, we're not playing. So everything revolves around her. So my whole life has been revolved about what she wants. So sexuality never even crossed my mind until she's like, I'm bisexual.
00:55:42
Speaker
Oh, and then i had another really good friend tell me you found your road real easy because she built the freeway for you. She spent five years struggling with it and figuring it out.
00:55:54
Speaker
And for me, it took me two months and I'm on Facebook, I'm back. And I, but that made me feel horrible. But, but my friend said, because you helped her and encouraging her and supporting her.
00:56:07
Speaker
For you, it made it so much easier yeah to find that road. so And also the community, we found this huge group of friends from Seattle that just took us under their wing and said, know don't feel any pressure with us. Just be our friends. And and that that kind of encouragement where I don't feel pressure when we go to Seattle and play. Or if I don't have to do something, they're like, OK, cool.
00:56:31
Speaker
Because I've had times at BFF and Hedo where guys will go, let's go play. And I'm like, no, I'm not really feeling it. And then they look at you like you just murdered their wife, right? And it's just, it's the worst. and then then you fall back because you're like, oh, was I supposed to do that? Am I supposed to be that? and So it took me, like I said, it took me a couple of years to finally figure it out. Now I have the confidence. yeah and that And that's hard for me. they have that confidence. yeah But I have it now. yeah Beautiful. year book And your book was an immense part of that. i was going to say, can you talk about like the importance of hearing other people's stories that resonated and what that did for you? Well, when I when i first started... Sorry, my my nerd friend is here.
00:57:16
Speaker
<unk>s putting his ass on you. Yeah.
00:57:22
Speaker
I, um, there's nothing out there for 50 something men who are like, Oh, I am bisexual. I'm super jealous of the guys who knew in their teens and twenties. Oh, and they've had years and decades to figure out where they are. at I don't, I'm late in life.
00:57:39
Speaker
mean There's really nothing on the internet for bi men coming out. I, um, found your podcast. immensely helpful. And it was still two by guys, yeah by two guys. and Shout out Alex. And then you said, ah I wrote a book.
00:57:57
Speaker
Got to instantly pre-order, get the book. I don't read. I've read one book in the last 20 years. I read your book in a day and a half. yeah I'm crying. i on a camping trip. I'm crying in the hammock. I'm hearing these stories and I'm like, I'm not alone.
00:58:12
Speaker
I'm not alone. There's guys my age that are also coming out late. And that was immensely helpful to say there is a community out there that there's other guys out there.
00:58:24
Speaker
and the And so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing that book. It really jump-started me into giving me confidence to come to an event like this. go And that gave me the confidence to go to guys my age at these events at HEDO and BFF. And I just would walk up to them, which is way out of my comfort zone, and go, can you tell me your story?
00:58:44
Speaker
and And I had several guys. i had an Ironman triathlete. cry in front of me telling me story because she's a Gen Xer like me telling me the same thing the shame and all that and I'm like oh my god other people feel that too yeah so it it gave me the confidence to search out more which was amazing beautiful yeah as much sex as there is here there's also a lot of that sharing stories you know going over these histories and like real connections over stuff you don't find elsewhere. yeah When we first got in the lifestyle, it was like, course, about sex, right? But my wife and I both now are like, it's meeting people, it's connections, it's finding stories. yeah And then if we sleep with them or play with them, that's a bonus. yeah But I don't have to sleep. I have friends here that I don't have to sleep with. and like yeah
00:59:37
Speaker
They're like lifelong friends. yeah Like this dork. love it He's got a good story too. But, um... actually, come here, Come here.
00:59:50
Speaker
He's the one at summer when I was in super in my head and I couldn't function. And I couldn't do anything. I was lost. And he and I told him. And he came over to me and just put his arm around me and just said, You're okay, I've been there too.
01:00:02
Speaker
And he really got me over that hump. First? He really, it really did. Talking about being bi? Yes. And it really, really, and I tell this all the time, he changed my life.
01:00:14
Speaker
Because it gave me the confidence to go, it's okay to be bi. and theyre And I'm not where he's at. Maybe one day I will be, but I'm not now and it's okay. And that's the first time I've seen all the media and all the people I talked to. It was the first one that that resonated with me.
01:00:29
Speaker
so and I'm definitely out to the to the the lifestyle people, but like not out of that. So, you know, i mean, it's hard to come out at work going, oh, you know, I love Dick.
01:00:41
Speaker
yeah Yes. And how many of these have you been to? This is for podcasts. Are you good to share? Yeah. This is our third one. The vibe the people are amazing. yeah I've never felt so welcomed.
01:00:56
Speaker
And if you want to be bi or think about being bi, you should come to this. Yeah. And how how what was your journey to understanding your own bisexuality?
01:01:09
Speaker
No, I'm just a pervert. I just love the sex turned me on. And then I finally started looking and seeing, and I see guys as beautiful as women and and as sexual creatures like women. And it's just amazing. It's a completely different feeling, but it's it's amazing.
01:01:27
Speaker
but When in your life did that happen? And like, was it a struggle or once you realized, was it like, great? if no it was a struggle. 24 years ago, we played with our first couple, yeah which we're still friends with today. And here at the, the,
01:01:39
Speaker
been to you today, um, tried it, liked it. Um, and then there of course is, uh, the, know, my wife not knowing if, uh, I was going go gay or if I, you know, what I was going to do. So the uncertainties of things, and then the uncertainty in your own self, and then you've just, I don't know, over time you figure things out and you work things out and yeah, that's good. yeah Cool.
01:02:03
Speaker
And also, by the way, I just wanted to say, like, it's so cool that your wife sort of paid that trail for you and came out first. like Like you said, you were supporting her, I'm sure, to be able to do that.
01:02:15
Speaker
And also, a lot of guys don't realize, like, maybe they have a wife who's not bi or they think it's straight, but... they may pave the way for their wife. Like, I've met a lot of guys who come out and that opens their wife up to explore. Are they straight? Are they monogamous? And they had never thought about it. So someone's got to go first, but you never know what could happen after that. My wife, we went to the first ByeHedo takeover.
01:02:42
Speaker
but I was straight. And I spent the whole time going, what about her, what about her, what about her, right? And she was like, did you just back the fuck off? So when we got invited to come to BFF, I was like, I can't go, because I'm straight. And so she came with a friend of ours. And I was like, you need to go because you don't need me over your back.
01:03:03
Speaker
and And then she's texting me, oh, I've had my first foursome. Oh, that was my first transfer. I'm having the best time. So I'm at home miserable, right? And that's kind of what kick-started my bike journey to me going, well, why am I?
01:03:16
Speaker
I had no problem with her being with another guy or being in a hotel or anything. That was never an issue. It was just like, why am I struggling with this so hard? And then after about a week of her being gone, I just,
01:03:28
Speaker
It finally kicked. i was like, well, we played with a couple and I stuck that guy's dick and I liked it. So um for clerk maybe there's something going on there and that got me going. So maybe that was until it kick started me. it Instead of me fighting it, like I just let it in. yeah yeah and when you're When you're surrounded by people that that truly care, it's it makes it an amazing journey. i So don't be by yourself.
01:03:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Find, find people that are, that are like this or accepting. Right. Right. And the nice thing about the BFF is it's the whole weekend long. You have a lot of time to actually get to know people and not just show up at 9 PM and fuck and leave at midnight. So it really fosters this community. It's not a or bathhouse scene or anything that. It's, I mean, you, you get to know people and then you come back and then Jose, it's been a year now.
01:04:20
Speaker
yeah yeah And he comes back and jumps right on the deck. Love it Love it. Any final thoughts or anything else you want people to know?
01:04:32
Speaker
I would like to people, no matter your age, you're not alone. There is a community out there. um Even if you've been told your whole life it's inappropriate and not the Christian thing to do or whatever,
01:04:47
Speaker
There is a community out there that will support you. And it's not all about sex. it really would We play at night, and that's like for three hours. or you know But then we're here the rest of the day We're here at 11 a.m.
01:04:58
Speaker
And it's all about fostering friendships and and you're finding community. So you're not alone. Just reach out, and you will find your way. Definitely. I've come to Seattle because our group is awesome. I have never gone up to a person and have them tell me, no, i'm not interested in telling you my story.
01:05:17
Speaker
Every single person, every single one of them has been like, okay, yeah, let me tell you. And it's very, very helpful for a late in life person coming out. Cool.
01:05:28
Speaker
Thank you for your name. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you both. Thanks so much for being on the podcast.
01:05:39
Speaker
Well, that was the first installment of this BFF series. Maybe I should just do a whole podcast about BFF and all the other bi-weekend orgy parties. There are beginning to be enough of them that we could do a whole series on them.
01:05:57
Speaker
There's another one at Hedonism in Jamaica. They have a bi-week podcast. There's another event in September and March, I believe, called Ho Weekend.
01:06:08
Speaker
And there's like a bye cruise. But for now, we've got three episodes. So stay tuned for the next two. And thanks for being here and listening to this one. See you next time.
01:06:23
Speaker
Two Bye Guys by One Bye Guy is produced and edited by me, Robert Brooks Cohen, and it was created by me and Alex Boyd. Our logo art is by Caitlin Weinman. Our music is by Ross Mincer. To learn more about my individual and group coaching offerings, visit robertbrookscohen.com.
01:06:40
Speaker
And to help support this podcast, visit patreon.com slash robertbrookscohen. You'll get full video episodes, early access, and bonus content. Thank you for listening to Two Bye Guys by One Bye Guy.
01:06:56
Speaker
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,