It's easy to spot everything your spouse is doing wrong. It's a lot harder to turn that same eye on yourself. In this episode, licensed therapists Ibinye and Raffi make a compelling case for self reflection as one of the most underrated tools in marriage — because the one thing you actually have the power to change is you. Honest, warm and a little convincing. 😄

Episode 14: Look in the Mirror - How Self Reflection Can Transform Your Marriage

When your spouse has a tough day, your first instinct might be to fix it — but that instinct could actually be pushing them away. In this episode, licensed therapists Ibinye and Raffi explain why putting down the toolbox and simply being present is often the most powerful thing you can do for your spouse. Short, sweet and genuinely helpful.

Episode 13: Fix It or Feel It - How to Show Up for Your Spouse on a Hard Day

A bad apology can do more damage than no apology at all. In this episode, licensed therapists Ibinye and Raffi break down what a real, meaningful apology looks like in marriage — no excuses, no deflecting, just genuine accountability and empathy that helps both of you actually move forward. Six minutes that could change how you repair after every fight.

Episode 12: Sorry Isn't Enough - How to Apologize in a Way That Actually Heals Your Marriage

Your phone is never far away — but at what cost to your marriage? In this episode, licensed therapists Ibinye and Raffi get honest about what it feels like when your spouse's attention is constantly divided, and share a simple, realistic plan for scaling back on screen time so your relationship gets the presence it deserves. Small steps, big difference.

Episode 11: Put It Down - How Your Phone Might Be Coming Between You and Your Spouse

Your spouse is reaching out to you every single day — but are you catching it? In this episode, licensed therapists Ibinye and Raffi break down bids for connection, the small, everyday moments where your spouse is quietly asking for your attention and love. Learn how to spot them, respond to them, and strengthen your marriage one small moment at a time.

Episode 10: Did You Miss It? How to Recognize and Respond to Your Spouse's Bids for Connection

Ever have a moment where you and your spouse disagree about how to handle a parenting situation? OF COURSE YOU DO. Everyone does. 

Now - what do you do about that?

Episode 9 - Dealing with Parenting Disagreements

This week's actionable tip focuses on boosting the positive in your relationship. Marriage is not about conflict resolution (although that's important); protecting the fun times between you is just as important to the long-term health of your relationship.

Episode 8: Keeping it Fun

Giving the benefit of the doubt is kind of buzzwordy - but if you take it seriously and actually implement it in your marriage, it is virtually impossible for you not to gain from it in very perceptible ways.

Episode 7: Giving the Benefit of the Doubt

It may seem cliché, but a focus on gratitude will honestly make a huge impact in your marriage. And it's so doggone easy.

Episode 6: Gratitude - low cost, high impact

You know how simple conversations seem to turn into arguments which turn into giant fights? Doesn't have to be that way. This episode will give you a framework for stepping out of that exhausting cycle.

Episode 5: How to Actually Listen

Raffi (@raffibilek) · Zencastr

Raffi (@raffibilek)

What do a Black Christian woman and a Jewish white guy have in common? They're both seasoned marriage counselors, both married - to other people - and they're loaded with straightforward, practical tools to change your marriage for the better - TODAY.

Welcome to the Better Marriage Podcast.

The Better Marriage Podcast