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4. All Things Social Media
45 Plays1 year ago
In this episode of “That’s a Win,” Morgan and Rachael delve into the multifaceted world of social media and its impact on motherhood and parenting. They begin with their “wins of the week,” celebrating family visits and small victories like kids sleeping through the night. The hosts share personal stories about how social media has provided valuable support, from finding connection during tough parenting days to discovering helpful tips and schedules for new mothers. They also discuss the potential downsides of social media, such as feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information and the pressure to live up to curated images. Tune in for an honest and heartfelt conversation about navigating the digital landscape as parents, and how to find balance and positivity online.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'That's a Win'
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey guys, Morgan and Rachel here. Welcome to That's a Win podcast where we share the highs and lows of motherhood, celebrating the wins along the way. Thanks for joining us on our journey. Talk soon.
What do listeners do during the podcast?
00:00:13
Speaker
Welcome back everybody. Welcome back. Another episode of That's a Win. I'm Morgan and we've got Rachel here. Hey guys. Excited for you guys to join us today. Hey, hey. Have you ever thought about like what our listeners are doing while they're listening to our podcast? Yes, I actually have. Are they doing the dishes, folding the laundry, taking a drive, taking a walk? Yeah. A lot of my friends who have listened, they, and like my family members, they're like, it's more when they're driving. Um, like I had someone
00:00:50
Speaker
reach out saying they were rocking their baby to sleep while while listening to us. There we go. That's just so cool. like You know what I mean? I know. Wherever you are, wherever you find yourself with us in your ears, thank you for joining us.
Wins of the week
00:01:06
Speaker
We've got a ah fun episode today talking all things social media. But first, we got to start with our wins of the week. Let's go. Rachel, why don't you start us off here? OK. okay um So my win of the week is kind of a bigger one, I would think bigger but smaller, but I got to spend the last week with my family back home and see my friends. So I'm going to call that my win of the week.
00:01:37
Speaker
just getting to be back home with family and seeing your sweet face. And let's not forget two road trips with your kids. This is true, but this is true. Those are huge wins right there surviving that. This is true and honestly like they were pretty good like they really were so didn't have any major tantrums crying You know, nothing, some snacks and some movies can't help them get it through, you know? There you go. So yeah, that's true. I guess that's that's factored in with it, right? the The road trip as well with two kids. But yeah, that's my win. What a wonderful week it was. Oh, I was happy to see you. Happy to hang out in person.
00:02:21
Speaker
Yeah, get the kiddos together. It's always a fun time. That's right. There's my win. What about you? um Well, i it it was hard for me to think of it today. I was trying to really trying really hard to reflect, but I will say Eden slept through the night last night and woke up at like 7 30. So she's never really been the best sleeper. We'll just put that out there. She struggled. She struggled. to put that lightly. Yeah, you know. And so she ever since she was like 18 months, I feel like she started sleeping consistently like through the night, but she'll have like one night a week that she's up for like two or three hours. Like it never fails. I don't know why. It's just like once a week, she has that. You never know what night it's going to be, but you know, you know, it's going to happen. But this past week, I don't know what's been going on, but she's been waking up
00:03:19
Speaker
Almost every night, either for two or three hours or waking up at four, Cole's having to go in there and sleep, try to rock her, sleep in her crib with her, lay on the floor. She's waking up at five. It's just like, it's been crazy, crazy, crazy. So she slept all night and woke up at 7.30. So that was a huge victory today. I'll take it. I will take it. Yes. That's a huge win. That takes a toll on all of you and Cole and her also being up like, those three and four hours in the night, and early wakings don't even get me started on that. Those are brutal. Brutal. It really is. not that Any wake up is awful i mean-ish. it's It's hard to wake up, but I feel like I would prefer like
00:04:08
Speaker
a 1am rather than like a four or five for some reason. Like I feel like, I don't know, like you, for me, I always get into like a deeper sleep around that like four or five. I mean it all, all around. I don't want either of it, but you know what I mean? We just not have any of it. Right. Thanks. Thank you. Right. Well, hey, way to go Eden. Way to go, girly. Do it again. Do it again tonight. Please. Please. For your mama and daddy. Let them get some sleep. know every time I feel like every time with our family, I'm like, yeah, Eden was up again or whatever. And they're like, what is going on with that girl? I don't know. I wish I knew. Someone tell me and help me out.
00:04:50
Speaker
I don't think anyone knows, right? It's just just her little her little thing right now. I know. Or her whole life. I know. Let's be real. Just their whole entire existence. Yeah. That's just so wild how you can do the same type things with multiple kids, whether it's sleep training or you know schedules. And they have their own little like ways that they will be. And we both, we both with, you know, Jude and Nora first, they were like amazing sleepers. Our first kids like right off the gate, like yeah they were great. Set the bar, set the bar way high. Exactly. And I knew that like that wasn't a given, you know, but then when you have your second kid, you're like, okay, what are they going to be like? Complete opposite at the very beginning.
00:05:44
Speaker
so Just, you know, navigating that. And I would always hear people be like, yeah, my baby didn't sleep through the night till two years old. I was like, what? But then I'm like, okay, we're kind of living in that. At least it's not every night, right? Yes. So she's, she's doing, she's doing good. Yeah, she is. Shout out Eden. Sorry, girl. Love you girl. Love you. Long time. Also, I wanted to talk about how people have been sending us their wins and texting us and sending us messages and sharing their wins with them with us. Yes. How amazing is that? I know.
00:06:21
Speaker
so It's like, that's exactly, that's like exactly what we wanted out of this, you know? I know. Even when you just said like, it took me a little bit or it was hard for me to pick something like that's what's so cool about it because it's challenging us and our listeners like to really go back and reflect and because before I like I did not do that, you know? So it's been cool seeing that, you know, the listeners are you all. are going along with us and figuring out those wins and celebrating those big or small been really cool for us. I think that's so amazing and just obviously starting out it's just cool to have that encouragement of like wow people are actually you know if if we help encourage one person like then our goal is met you know
00:07:07
Speaker
and to see that people are already sharing that. So I love that. And I feel like maybe maybe we should put up like a little question box or something every every Wednesday when the when the episode drops of share your win
Impact of social media on motherhood
00:07:21
Speaker
of the week. And then we can see everybody's responses and then maybe share one on the podcast or like go through that. I think that would be really fun. Yes, let's do it. Let's get it. Well, speaking of Instagram, social media, that's a perfect segue into what we're going to talk about today. Yes, it is. All things social media and how that impacts us in our motherhood and parenting journeys. And I guess to start out, maybe we should talk about
00:07:48
Speaker
a positive impact that we've gotten from social media. I actually had a story I was thinking about is, you know, there's a bunch of accounts out there, a bunch of things you follow, which can be obviously overwhelming in and of itself, but I follow this one account and I vividly remember, I will never forget this, um I was having a hard day with Jude and it was just felt like you're in one of those cycles of like it's just going round and round and it's like you know nothing positive is coming out of it. It just seems like you're kind of stuck in this back and forth and um just kind of not connection you know and I remember I saw this post from this lady and she was like
00:08:30
Speaker
If you're having a difficult time with your kid, do something that fills their cup. Like just make that connection with them. And i I saw that and I was like, okay. Like that was like a sign to me. I was like, okay, that's what we're gonna do. And so Jude likes to bake or like be in the kitchen and cook and stuff like that with me. So I asked him, I was like, do you want to bake cookies or I don't know muffins, something like that. And so we got in the kitchen and we were baking and he was just, So happy. And he literally looked at me and he said, you're my best friend, mommy. I love baking with you. Like after, after like that whole, just the struggle that we had that day. And he just loved that. and And he needed that connection. And that was just like a way that that reminder popped up to me. And I wouldn't, I probably would have stuck in my mind of like a hard day, like really struggling, you know, but it helped me and encouraged me.
00:09:25
Speaker
to step out. And then that's just what he needed. He just needed me. He just needed my connection and attention yep and the simplest things. And I just thought that was so, so cool. I'll literally never forget that. Yeah. And I was about to say, you're going to keep that with you throughout your whole motherhood experience. and continue to take those moments small and fill his cup. And in return, it's also like filling your cup in a sense, you know, you're both getting that little connection together. I love that. I love it.
Navigating social media comparisons
00:10:01
Speaker
Yeah. I think that social media can be a cool thing, but you know, it can also be not a so cool thing too. Like you said, like there are a lot of accounts out there and
00:10:14
Speaker
Um, I think for me, when I think about positive, along with my mother, her motherhood journey is, I feel like I didn't really know what to do, I guess with the baby, like when I first had Nora and, um, You know, you have people who talk to you and tell you things, but you don't actually know until you go through it, I guess. But one of the accounts that I really used with her, I feel like just laid the foundation for her. Like you we said in the beginning, like sleep wise, I didn't even know also, like, I didn't know about feeding schedules. Like that was like, you know, I don't know. Did you know that kind of stuff? I don't think so. I think you had to.
00:10:57
Speaker
Yeah, get that info somewhere. Yeah. So the positive there for me is but watching and following that account to like, even know when to feed the baby and, you know, the wake times and those kinds of things. I feel like, and it also in return helped me with Ivy now too. Um, so that's the positive for me. It kind of helped me laid the lay the foundation for my scheduling for my girls and they're great sleepers. So. You know, that may not be just the accountant, that that may just be um their temperament.
00:11:33
Speaker
Probably a little bit of both. Yeah, yeah. So my my positive kind of went in like the more like informational type thing because I i really did use that a lot. to help And off of that, kind of as your you know kids have grown and stuff, I feel like there's a lot of accounts out there that I do follow that in terms of like toddlers. like That was a new thing for me, like handling toddler tantrums and yes discipline and stuff like that. So I feel like there really is a good in it. There's a lot of information out there on the flip side that can be overwhelming because you know there's so much information out there and and you just think, oh, I got to follow this, follow this, follow this, follow this. And then all of a sudden you're like, Everywhere you look, you're saying, do this, don't do this, do this, don't do this. And then you're like, oh my goodness, am I doing anything right? It's overwhelming. I think that a lot of it also is, you want it to be like this like black and white answer, but like it is so much gray area because there literally is no right or wrong way to do anything in parenting. There really isn't. like You have to figure out what is going to work.
00:12:43
Speaker
best for you and for your family. So that's where it can get overwhelming also because you see one thing and you're like, well, I'm not doing that. I need to go switch and do it that way. And it's like, no, you also, and you can take little bits from anything you may see and form it into your own. your own little way. That's not true. There's no right or wrong. And it can be like conflicting information. You know, one account can be like, don't feed your kid goldfish. It's poison. And the other is like, your kids can survive off chicken tenders in dirt. Like, they're fun.
00:13:19
Speaker
chicken, dinners, and dirt. Don't don't tell them about Santa because they're never going to trust you and that you're going to lie to them the rest of your life. Or if you tell them about Santa, then you'll never have magic in your kid's life. You know, it's just like be conflicting views. Oh, totally. Okay. Totally. Yeah. That's, it gets overwhelming completely. So there's a lot of good from it, but it can also be not so good. I think one thing that stood out to me and you actually told me this and or put it in my head where I was like, Oh my goodness. You know, you can also along with that, like you follow or you see some account that's like giving you all these pointers, you know, and that's there.
00:13:59
Speaker
their opinion. Also, it's good to be mindful and careful. like If you're choosing you know to raise you your children in a godly way, like what account you're looking at, do they do that too? you know Because a lot of the things, and you may be able to word that a little bit better, but that really stood out to me. and I went through and i kind of I unfollowed some because I was like, do they have the same end goal in mind that I want for my kids." you know so That really stood out to me. I've never thought of it that way before, ever, because I was like, oh, they just they're these professionals and they do this, and but are they pointing their children towards Christ because that's what I want for my kids? Right. Do they have the same values? and I felt really convicted of that because I i was like,
00:14:47
Speaker
listening to these people like they were everything that I needed to know I need to follow what they said and then yeahp i I felt like I was just like wait but did they align with your values and it's you know that should parenting maybe should look different then if they don't you know like my parenting shouldn't match theirs exactly if they don't you know value the same things and not that theirs is wrong but in aligning with what you want You know, right. Yeah. No, I know. That was a big moment for me to like light bulb moment, you know. Yes. Yeah. And you.
00:15:23
Speaker
pointed that out to me and also gave me a like bold moment because I literally had never thought about that before. Because you think it's like the end all be all like this account and everyone's talking about it and you know and it's like okay. Yeah you can kind of take I guess take a little bit from here and there like you said and like okay to some extent you know you can well follow these things but I think that was something else is like okay maybe pick like one expert in like each area of where I'm wanting to learn and whether it's discipline or nutrition or and activities for kids like maybe just pick one or two accounts in each little area so you don't feel so overwhelmed in that in that space of like everything you see is just another thing or it can almost lead to a sense of like not feeling like you're doing enough you know if you see if you're following all these accounts I'm like
00:16:18
Speaker
how to reduce screen time, how to do these activity boxes. Every morning, you know, like, tens of accounts like that, then you're like, oh, no, I'm not doing that. And so I feel less than, and you know, that comparison game. Right, right. I remember not to heart harp on Eden's sleep, but I... We love you. We love you, Eden. I had taken like a break from, and I was like two months postpartum. She was like two months old. I remember it was like the week of Thanksgiving and
00:16:54
Speaker
I took like a week off from social or from Instagram. I like to leave that for a week, whatever. And as I said, we struggled with some sleep stuff. And I remember right when I got it back, two stories that I saw from people that I follow and was talking about how their baby slept through the night the whole night and the baby went to bed at seven and woke up at seven. And I was so discouraged and I was like, This is the first thing that I saw, right? When I come back on, you know, it's just that comparison that you're like, oh man, like, and they're not sharing that too.
00:17:26
Speaker
make other people feel bad, but when, when I'm like struggling with that and then I see that right away, I'm like, okay, I need to get off. You feel like, yeah, you're like, really? I'm done with it. Bye. Delete again. let's It's just really easy to compare, like to compare like that. And it happens almost instantaneously. Like without even thinking about it, you see that about somebody else and you're like, Oh, well, my kid's not doing that. You know, when you automatically are discouraged or disappointed or whatever. Yep. Yep. Which is so, I feel like normal for us as humans, but if we like know who we are and who our identity lies in, like it's not, it shouldn't be a comparison game, you know, like, and that's another downfall of social media. It will totally do that. You'll see pictures or like you said, like this isn't even relating to like sleep or whatnot, but it looks like they've got it all together.
00:18:27
Speaker
You know, the pictures and because, you know, you think, Oh, they, they look great. They're not going through any, like, you know, but you don't know what they're really dealing with. It's just, it's fake. It can be it. Social media can be a really cool thing. You know, you can keep up with people when you're like far away, you can see pictures, that kind of stuff, find the resources, you know, be able to relate to people to get through things. So there's beautiful things to it.
Benefits and challenges of staying connected
00:18:54
Speaker
But I think if you stay grounded in, who you are and try not to you know put all that other stuff aside you know because it can become super unhealthy. I know like I am and don't have like TikTok or anything.
00:19:09
Speaker
But I recently, not recently, maybe like six months ago discovered like Instagram real. Morgan knows I'm not really um like tech savvy. Yeah, tech tech savvy. And I'm not like I don't know all the like new things really. Yeah, I don't know how to do anything. um But so I started like doing reels and stuff, like looking at them because I was like, oh, this is kind of like how TikTok is. It was always like the old TikToks that were like You know, I did have a TikTok a few years ago, but I did have to delete social media. Cause I, I literally would go to work and I would come home and get on TikTok on my couch. This is before pre-kids, right? And before I knew it, Daniel was coming home from work and it was like five 30.
00:19:58
Speaker
Like I don't even know where the two hours went. yeah Like how scary is that? Just that mindless scrolling. Yes. And so I was like, yo, no. And also like stuff you see sometimes it's just like get messes with your head and comparisons brings in anxieties that are not, don't need to happen. And I've had to do that with Instagram reels. Like I've told you that like, but something that may make you feel guilty as a mom, like, Oh, you raised your voice at your kid or like, I don't know. It makes you start feeling guilty and you think back to your day and you're like, Oh my goodness. Like, did I, did I ruin them forever? And you see these videos about it. You see these awful like sicknesses and I, I kept feeling like I kept seeing all these things. And I was like, I cannot watch these anymore. Like I physically had to stop because it was messing with my mind so much. I didn't do any deleting or anything. I just didn't hit the little, yeah yeah you know, that little button to watch them because
00:20:58
Speaker
It was like making me sick to my stomach. Like I couldn't. I was like everything I was seeing. was all revolved around those specific topics, which is scary. It is scary. And it's crazy how it can have such an impact on you and like truly easily like mentally put you in a bad place. That's like, how did this, so right we didn't even have this in like high school. You know what I mean? I remember when Instagram, we just used it like at the very beginning to put like weird filters, like you didn't like follow people or anything. It's just like exploded.
00:21:33
Speaker
now it's like You know, I can understand how it causes anxiety and people feeling alone. I think even sometimes we're like me and you text every day or whatever, you know, and then when I saw you in person, I was like, wait, this is weird because I'm used to like talking to you over a phone and now you're in person. So it's like, I guess digital things really affect people mentally and like, ah okay It's real. It's like really, really real. It is. It is. But again, there's like great things that come from it too, you know, like people who it's like their career, you know, they, they provide for their family through it. So there's, there's great things about it. I think if you have limits and, um, kind of have a good head space about it, I would think whether that's like you said, like,
00:22:24
Speaker
Deleting the app for a little bit or I know like I don't know how to do it But I know you can probably like set timers of like how long you're on it or whatever Yeah. Which that just sounds so crazy to me that the iPhone has that. Like clearly there's a problem if you have to. Yes. A little way to like set a timer, you know, i whatever. We all, we all got problems. I know. Can I be honest though? I have some of those timers and it's like, it it pops up and I'm like, oh, forget for the day or whatever. There's an option where you erase the timer and I do that. It's like a habit. It really is. So real though. Like so real.
00:23:02
Speaker
real and raw yeah It definitely can be used as good. And I feel like even through our podcast is like a way that we can, you know, we can use this as an encouragement to people and through our Instagram and sharing our wins and celebrating that. And we can be a positive light there. So I think if you put boundaries in place, which we talked about, you know, taking breaks, maybe, you know, being more mindful of who you're following, maybe not following as many people. unfollowing people, you know, and remembering that you're just seeing a tiny little snippet of somebody's day, just a small little second, you know, like how many pictures we have of our kids that two seconds later they were crying or whatever, you know, yeah but yep even, and we share the happy ones, the smiling ones, right? And people could even look at
00:23:53
Speaker
ours and be like wow their kids are so sweet they get along so well and not know that two seconds later they were fighting and you know screaming and you know so it's just keeping that reminder too of like you're just seeing just a little glimpse of tiny little glimpse you know that's right we're human we're human we're not always got it all together that's right i think then then that makes me wonder like so do i need to share like the harder things too like is that a responsibility on me to be like share that as well or
00:24:29
Speaker
You know what I mean? like I think that we kind of do on here like as we're starting this. I know it's a positive one, but we're we're also like relating through those challenges as well and turning them into positives. you know so we're I feel like we are kind of starting to do that now. you know we're We're branching out. We're breaking out of our shell. I love it. That's so true. I didn't even think about that way. Yeah. Yeah. You know, don't, don't worry. I got it. I got it. You're on track. I love it. I'm pretty sure when we talking about you, like not knowing what to do with your phone, pretty sure. Okay. One, you weren't even following the podcast account for like a week. I had to say, Rachel, are you following? I'm like, Oh shoot. Am I not? I could have sworn I was. I don't know. I kept seeing everything. So I was like, Oh, maybe I am. You're like,
00:25:23
Speaker
Are you following the podcast? and I'm like, oh, no, let me go follow that. No harm to the podcast. Love to the podcast. I would have followed you if I knew how to like, I just don't. This is why have you to help me. love it about it's right I feel like I have kind of always been that way a little bit, but whatever. That's cool. That means you're not like obsessed with it, right? You have a good balance. You have a good boundaries. Yeah, I do feel like I do, other than those times about those dang reels.
00:25:55
Speaker
That wasn't for me. yeah no Just got to be mindful of like, Hey, protect your mind. You know, I feel like it's easy to say, okay, when I got into this social media today, how did I feel when I got done? Was I happy? Was I anxious? Was I stressed? Was I depressed? Was I lonely? You know, and then maybe that can help you gauge like, all right, maybe need to take a step back from this or not do it first thing in the morning, not reach for your phone. Right. When you get wake up, that's a struggle of mine that I have to be intentional about. and I don't do a very good job of right now to be honest. Same because you and I usually have a text when I wake up I usually have a text from you and I'm sure its same to you if I wake up before you you got a text from me. I know, I know. It's just my it's just our little thing. I think also like going along with that when you're talking about being mindful
00:26:48
Speaker
like when you're seeing post or like things that may be making you feel anxious, like to know that and tell yourself that's not your reality right now. Like because it's so easy to think, oh, because I saw XYZ, does that mean that's happening to my kid? Is that going to happen to me? You know, like that's not your
Setting social media boundaries
00:27:07
Speaker
reality. So you have to step back and be like, what's actually happening here? Right. You know? Right. What is true? Yeah. What's true in this moment right now? Nothing else matters. We're not thinking about stuff that's not present and not actually happening. Like why sit there and worry about it? If it ain't your reality, okay? Check what? This is so true. Yeah. That is good. I need to hear that. Bring in the truth. I'll bring the truth. I think it's time for me to go and follow some accounts now. So we got to go guys. ah Sorry if you see someone follows everyone.
00:27:43
Speaker
My sanity matters more. Yeah. It's so true though. Yeah, it is. I love that reminder and just, yeah, hopefully we will hold each other accountable just to create some good boundaries in the social media space. That's right. I'm down. I'm down for it. All right. Well, we'll talk to you all later. Thanks for joining us. Bye. Thanks so much for listening to another episode. Remember, everyone is worth celebrating. Talk soon.