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3. Navigating Careers in Motherhood
59 Plays1 year ago
Morgan and Rachael dive into the pivotal decisions surrounding their careers and motherhood. They explore the dynamics of working full-time, staying at home, and transitioning to part-time work, sharing personal stories and insights. The hosts kick off with their "wins of the week," celebrating date nights, wedding anniversaries, and small victories like getting to church *almost* on time. Join them for an honest discussion about the pressures and joys of balancing work and family life, the unexpected paths they've taken, and the gratitude they feel for the support and opportunities that have come their way. Whether you're a working mom, stay-at-home parent, or somewhere in between, this episode offers relatable experiences and heartfelt reflections.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey guys, Morgan and Rachel here. Welcome to That's a Wind podcast where we share the highs and lows of motherhood, celebrating the winds along the way. Thanks for joining us on our journey. Talk soon.
Career Decisions: Work vs Stay-at-Home
00:00:14
Speaker
Welcome back to another episode. How's everybody doing out there? How you doing, Rach? Doing good. Doing good. Happy to see your face again, girl. How are you? pretty ah Pretty good. Pretty good. Yay. Living the dream over here. Ain't that the truth. I second that sister. I'm excited for our episode today. We're going to talk a little bit about our decisions in our career and whether we were working or staying at home and kind of talk through those big, big
Wins in Marriage and Parenting
00:00:50
Speaker
topics. But of course we've got to start with our wins of the week.
00:00:54
Speaker
yay the fun part oh yeah so mine this week it's not really related to the children but kind of Cole and I got to go on a date night and that was a win for us because it had been a little while since we've been able to do that and as you know with children it's hard to get into that routine of keeping that like a habitual thing in your marriage. So I feel like we kind of got off track there for a little while. Like we used to try to make like Thursday nights, our date nights, whether that be like at home, you know, obviously everybody weren't going out, but then we kind of got, got off a bit for a while. So I was excited. We got to go to our favorite little burger spot and have some time. And
00:01:45
Speaker
I'm cracking up because Cole always laughs at me because when we go on a date night, I come with a list of 10 intentional, deep questions to discuss over dinner and tonight. Of course you do. Of course you do. Connect and you know it for whatever reason, wherever we sat in the restaurant, it was so loud. like I literally couldn't hear myself talk at points and I'm sitting there like, what was the time that you felt most supported by me? Like yelling, like trying to get, trying to have these like deep conversations. And you know, he's a trooper there for a little while, but after he's like, okay, after like five, he's like, can we just, you know, table that and just, just chill and have fun? I was like, okay.
00:02:31
Speaker
We'll revisit this another time. I know. I just think it's so funny because sometimes I feel almost pressure for since we don't get out together as much. like Almost like, OK, we have to have a really connecting and fun and like super time because we don't do this as often. So it has to be like next level. you know but But sometimes it is and sometimes it's not. That's exactly right. just Just taking the time to be together. So that was a win. We got to have that time. And it we did have a good time. It was fun. I'm glad. That sounds like a wonderful time. I wish I could have been there. I know, right?
00:03:13
Speaker
um I would say for me, so I was trying to narrow it down because there was a couple in mine. This just makes total sense that one of mine was probably the exact same as yours um ish. um But, so I'm going to like roughly talk just about two, if that's allowed. Do it. Do it. Of course. This is your podcast, babe. Am I breaking the rules to the podcast? So mine, one has to do just Daniel and I, we celebrated seven years of marriage.
00:03:50
Speaker
this week and um amazing we also got a little date night to celebrate. um You know that I don't let anybody watch my kids literally ever. So when you're sitting there talking about like the time with your partner and your spouse or whatever. um Daniel and I, since we live away from our parents, we don't ever leave our kids with anyone. um So I branched out and we found a sweet little girl at church that watches our girls for us. She's done it a couple times now, so I'm getting braver. But we enjoyed that time together. I did not have 10 deep questions to ask.
00:04:34
Speaker
But I'm adding that to my next my next date night. He's gonna be like, what is happening, Rachel? I'm over there like, let's order. Let's go ahead and order. Let's get home to our children. So I'm i'm doing the opposite over here. So I need to learn from you a little bit. I'm proud of you. That's a big step to take to have somebody to watch your girls and I have told you this, but gotta take a moment to appreciate and say we are proud of you, Rachel. Can we get a round of applause for Rachel? I'm growing up. I'm growing up. I may make it maybe only like an hour and a half to two hours,
Managing Family and Time
00:05:11
Speaker
but we're doing it. She's doing it. That's great. Who is she? Who is she?
00:05:15
Speaker
So okay, that was part of my win for just like me, myself. But I guess the other one is kind of bad as well. But we and I am also like a very chronically like late person. I just don't do well with like time um and with kids that like amplifies, I feel like. So we are always like late to church. I'm talking like 15, 20 minutes. Like we miss all the songs usually. And I am always like, well, at least we're here. You know, like we came and, you know, that that's the part that matters. You got out the door, but it's like, okay, you got to get with it. So we got to church, not on time, but we were only like five minutes late on Sunday and we got to listen to majority of the songs. We did miss the first one and like the intro, but we were there for the songs. Um, so yeah, I think that was a win for us as a,
00:06:13
Speaker
is is a group effort for our family. We were not 20 minutes late to church. there you go So Nora, Nora likes to do the songs. So she'll go to service with us and do the songs and then she'll go to her class after. So she was glad she got to listen to them. I love it. And worship because that girl. She loves to worship. She's a singer. I have never met a child like her that performs and sings and the hand gestures, the the facial expressions. She has such passion for it and I love it so much.
00:06:51
Speaker
she really does like I swear like she's gonna have a future in either being like a worship leader or like an ah like a some type of like pop star girl not pop star but you know like an entertainer that's what I'm doing she's gonna be the next Britney Spears No, but she'll be like, she gets her play microphone up in our playroom and she's like, okay, everybody, hands up. Lift your hands. lift your hands She just started and buzzing. up but god my god i need yeah you do know And her face is so in it. Oh my gosh. Yes. She's, she's all about it. She's special girl. I love that girl. But yeah, so those are my wins. Yeah, she's a good one.
00:07:32
Speaker
um Yeah, so Daniel and I's when getting some time and then also a group effort for our family not being as late to church. So that was Sorry, I added to I just you know, the more the merrier I think This is true for celebrating in the mall. I've seen a lot of them. I love the reflection there. That's great.
The Work-Home Balance Question
00:07:52
Speaker
So today talking about careers and I feel like you work inside the home or outside at home, right? I don't like thinking of like, Oh, do you work? Like I always try to rephrase that question when I ask people because I'm like, what do you do for work? You know, cause stay home. Mom is a lot of work. I would intend hardest job that I've ever had.
00:08:15
Speaker
So I feel like when you get pregnant, that's a big decision to make. Maybe you already kind of have your you know thoughts on what you want to do. We kind of experience different paths there. I feel like we've sort of in combination of me and you, we've experienced working full-time, stay-at-home moms, part-time, you know, all that. and I guess for you, when you got pregnant with Nora, obviously you mentioned last time you were a teacher. So what influenced your decision to stay home? Was that something you always wanted to do? That was, you know, from the get go your plan. Yeah. so
00:08:55
Speaker
I think it all stemmed from my mom was a stay at home mom for me and my brothers, like never worked. Well, she worked before she had kids, but um she stayed home. So I think growing up and seeing that I did envision that for myself. And that was a goal that I knew that I wanted to hopefully achieve. Um, one day, you know, before having kids. Um, so that was always there. I will say, I think after getting married and with Daniel's job at first at the golf course, I kind of knew financially, or I thought in that timeframe that I don't know if that's going to be my story and my.
00:09:37
Speaker
my path, even though that's what I wanted financially with my teacher salary and what he was making at the golf course. um And my parents even will talk about that too. They'll be like, we thought, you know, maybe that wasn't going to be what you were going to be able to do, you know, at first. um And just so crazy how doors were just shut and opened for Daniel job opportunity wise, um because he didn't even apply to the job he's at now. It's like, I guess his number was on like Indeed or whatever, but these people like reached out to him, the company he's at now. And um eventually, you know, he obviously got the job and worked really, really hard and financially.
00:10:20
Speaker
what, how many years it was into that. Three years into his job, he was making enough money to where, when we got pregnant with Nora, it was like financially we we, like we can make this work, you know? So I think starting out, like after we got married, I thought, oh, maybe it's not going to happen. Maybe this is not the time. And God just did major, major work there. Um, so yeah, financially then that dream was able to come true and I am able to stay home now, which is really cool. Um, and it's a blessing and I do not take that for granted at all. But yeah. So I think that I definitely knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom. And now like, I can't picture doing anything else. I really can't know if I ever had to at some point, obviously, you know, if something were to happen, I would, but I'm like, I cannot even fathom. I feel like I like left my life as a teacher. Like it's like, and I loved teaching. I loved it. I really did.
00:11:18
Speaker
And, um, I think now, like, cause I have friends who still teach. And if they, you know, tell me a story or like, whatever, I'm like, I'm so far removed from it. I can't even remember. Like I wouldn't even know how to get back up and probably teach. I'd probably have to do something else. I don't know. Yeah. So always wanted to do it. Thought I wasn't going to be able to. God has blessed us to where I can. And it's pretty amazing. Daniel always wanted it to like, he wanted me to stay home, you know, with our kids as well. That's really cool to think about how it all you know worked out or just how sometimes in the moment you don't you don't know what's coming down the line you know and you might think have disappointments or think of, oh, I really wanted this.
00:12:07
Speaker
i because I was trying to think back. like I guess I was similar. like I just never thought I could or would be a stay-at-home mom. like and Like you said, it's so far removed. like I'm trying to remember our mindset. like After Jude, I still worked full-time. in and I think that was when Cole was kind of getting into a new career sort of starting out kind of similar to Daniel too. and so you know He was in daycare and I was working full-time, which was fine. And in my mind, that was like the only world we were in. Yeah. It's all you knew. It's all you know in that moment. Yes. And then now after we had Eden, we made some sacrifices and decided like that's what we wanted for our family, just a more
00:12:59
Speaker
I guess slowed down lifestyle and just time with them while they are still a little. And we were able to do that um financially. It was like, okay, we're going to have to like actually be mindful of a lot of different things that we maybe didn't have to do before. okay but But now that I'm on this side of it, I'm like, I can't believe I did work full-time. And that was just like two, or I don't even know how many years ago, two years ago, I guess. You know, it's just crazy what you're in. You think that's all you know. That's all you know, literally. And I'm like, I can't imagine Jude being in full-time daycare right now. And that's how he was for almost two years, which is crazy. but
00:13:41
Speaker
It's just kind of cool to see how that has you know evolved and when you are in a place where you are having to like sacrifice. and I just had to like really learn contentment with like what we had and what is not a necessity. Really look at like these are all extra things and you know it kind of hurt a little bit. It's like, ooh, this is hard. you know and like right I knew that it was going to be that way because I knew like going into it, like we we're like, okay, this is going to be a challenge in different ways. But I was glad for that because it helped me to rely on what mattered more, you know, and like, I knew the why behind the decision of why I wanted to be home. And that helped me to be like, okay,
00:14:32
Speaker
I don't need to be buying all these random stuff on Amazon that I don't need. I don't need to be clicking all these links, swiping up and just like, I like shopping and I like doing that. And I really like to be like, okay, these aren't necessary. You don't need those Amazon workout clothes. Okay. You don't have to work out. So. so
00:14:57
Speaker
But yeah, so in a way it's like the sacrifice, it hurt, but it also I knew that I was like, okay. It was sort of like pruning my heart to be like, okay, God, like what's important? Like this is, this is important. And these are the values
Identity Shift and Communication
00:15:13
Speaker
and these are the things we want for our family. And yeah. I've had people ask me, like, how do you make it work? Like just with one income, like how, and I don't ever have like this perfect answer, but i'm I'm thinking, I feel like you just make it work. You find a way to make it work. If that's what you want for your family, you find a way to make it work. Yeah, totally. I just remember being
00:15:40
Speaker
I like held the insurance was called self-employed. So I remember that mean a thing. I was just so scared to like make the jump because it's just kind of scary to go to two and comes to one, you know, it's like that security you find in finances. Yep. For us, I feel like we felt like with my salary as a teacher, which we all know. Teachers don't really make the best money, which they should. They should. Teachers definitely should make so much more money than what they do because. OK. Don't get me started on that. But um we felt like OK.
00:16:18
Speaker
Even if I did work my paycheck would go to Daycare someone watching someone else watching my kid you get what I mean? Like it just didn't outweigh what yeah, and yeah, it's to see the different perspectives of okay working full-time Stay at home mom, you know, like there's different challenges in different ways for sure like each each each thing brings a hardships and struggles, you know, but I think about, you know, what are some of the areas? And I was kind of asking myself this, like, that I feel like in the season of staying at home, I, you know, grew personally. And even just as our marriage, like, I feel like a big one for us was communication and how we like navigated that change. Cause I just remember,
00:17:14
Speaker
You know, that was kind of like a new identity you're taking on when you decide to leave the workplace and you become a stay-at-home mom. You kind of have like an identity crisis of like Who am I now? And what do I, what do I bring to this family? Like obviously you're taking care of your kids all day and that that's enough, right? But we had to have conversations at the beginning because I almost felt this like frustration. Like at the end of the day when Cole would come home, I had to like prove myself like I'm so exhausted. It was such a long day. Like I had to prove that like I was doing a lot of work, you know, like I felt this weird,
00:17:52
Speaker
ah just this weird feeling of that like having to show him like this is really hard like in in a passive-aggressive way I think you know like and so I feel like early on we had to have like a lot of conversations around that kind of stuff and even just like okay I remember us having little like meetings of like okay this is feeling really hard like how can we adjust our schedules like he's like okay well I can take XYZ mornings and you can have a little time for yourself in the morning so it's not just like sun up to sun down you are 100% on you know so like we had to have a lot of communication things so when I think about how we grew I guess together in that way our communication has grown a lot
00:18:39
Speaker
yeah And even now, so I'm still a stay-home mom, but I am working part-time. So it's kind of like both in hand, you know, and that transition, you know, just like any change, any new routines, any big adjustments like that are going to take time and communication to get through. And so even literally just last night, Cole and I were having a conversation in the kitchen. after the kids went down and I was just like, I just feel like I'm kind of being pulled in all these different directions. I don't feel like I'm being efficient with my time. Like when we talk through trying to kind of like a new schedule that we're going to do of like what hours I'm going to try to work and, you know, just things like that and, and like things he can help with and take on. So I feel like that's an area that I feel like was an area of growth. I think that's huge. That's huge enemy or just communication.
00:19:32
Speaker
And I think you and Cole are a really cool example of of that. Like you guys do talk about, like you just, even this whole, like, well, I mean, you and I talk all the time, but the way that you guys are really like reflective and you come together and you problem solve together is really cool. You guys do a great job about that. Thanks. I look up to you all. Come on, girl. Are you going to cry for a second time now? but No, I'm not. I'm not. It's a work in progress, you know? No, absolutely. For you being stay-at-home mom, you know, what do you feel like have been ways that you've grown or things that have maybe challenged you, but in a way helped you kind of better but on?
00:20:17
Speaker
You know, that's like a really hard question for me. I think sometimes it's hard to see it, you know, like it's hard when you're in it. Like even, this is a weird example, but like you see your kids every single day and they're changing maybe just in their, how they look or whatever, but you're with them every single day. But if somebody hasn't seen them for three months and they're like, Oh my gosh, they've changed so much. And you're like, Oh, like maybe I didn't notice it as much until you like look back. So I feel like it kind of is hard to like having young kids like sitting down and reflecting on like things like that. It's like you don't even have the brain space sometimes to really even realize what's even happening and what it's like, wait, what? You're just so in it. It's so, so requiring of you in those young years for sure. I know, I know. So I guess I need to think more on that and then I can
00:21:09
Speaker
No, that's so real. I remember and being out to dinner with friends. It was for my 30th birthday and somebody asked me, what do you what are your aspirations for this next year? Not not your kids, not your family, like you. And I was like dead silent, like I had no answer. I'm like, I don't even have the brain space or capacity to like think about that. That's how I felt. Yeah. It caused me to be like crickets. I had nothing to say because I hadn't really thought about that. What do I want to do in the next few years or whatever? I guess because my brain has been turning now as I've been talking. I feel like I've grown more confident as a person though.
00:21:51
Speaker
as a mom. like i feel like I feel like I'm good at it, you know so I feel like I've grown in confidence there and been firm in decisions, especially regarding my kids, but like because I've struggled decision-making forever, as you know, and I still do, obviously. but I do feel I've grown a little bit more confident in that in regard to them, like, okay, I'm their mom. I can, do you hear what I mean? 100%. I feel more confident in who I am and standing up for what I believe in because I want them to also.
00:22:25
Speaker
do that as well. So maybe that would be my growth. I would 100% agree with that. Yeah. For you. And I relate to that as well. I feel that it's like you don't really have just the time to not be just, you know, say how you feel and stand up for yourself. And we both, the personalities we have maybe tend to not do that before, not just give it straight. You know, we both gotten better, both gotten better about that. Way to go, look at us. Okay, yes. Confidence, personal growth. I love it. That was a real overall moment right there. I love it. That's what we're all about here.
Building Community and Friendships
00:23:07
Speaker
Another thing that I was thinking about is when you know you are home, stay-at-home mom, and how something I experienced was that opened up my life to be able to
00:23:20
Speaker
kind of make more friends who also were stay-at-home moms and pursue friendships and relationships more and going back to just how important that is to have people who are like there to support you and going, you know, that can relate going through what you're going through. And just how that community is huge. And I feel like when I was working, I didn't have that time to really like go to the park or go grab lunch or go have a play date. And so I think that's been something I've really enjoyed about staying home is being able to rekindle friendships and start new ones and deepen the ones that you have, you know, within your community. That's right. Because honestly, like.
00:24:05
Speaker
We weren't meant to do this life alone. And so community is huge and having that support system, having the moms and having play dates and, or going to like little classes, you know, like we did like a music class and those kinds of things um to where you can meet other moms who are also home during the week as well. That's true. Yeah, I feel like y'all have been involved in things like that. And I'm sure that's making it easier for you being somewhere new where you maybe don't know as many people or Oh, for sure. For sure. Cause again, I can be someone who like is very comfortable with my own little family and whatnot. So it's helped me to also branch out and meet other people, which, and I have through.
00:24:53
Speaker
dance, music, school, those kind of things. So it's been good. Even like me, when I taught, I met people through there who have also left the profession as well and um have kids now and our kids hang out and play. We had today, there was like eight kids at my house today for a play date. So that was, but um it was amazing. I was like, this is what dreams are made of right here. Like this is the chaos that I like. This is great. This is great. I love it. It never failed that like literally every single one of them had some sort of meltdown at one point and we're just like, this is real life. Like this is, you know, you see like, I was thinking, Oh, if we, well, they did post a picture, but, um, you know, the pictures are posted and it looks like, Oh, this like chill time. It's like, ain't nobody knows what really, really goes on during the play date, you know? So.
00:25:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's, it's been good. It's been good. and It's like those little, like, even though it can be chaotic and whatnot, it's like those little things. Over time, they just mean so much to like have people that you're just not alone. Like it sounds so simple, but our church does in the summers, they do like Friday meetups. So all the moms and young kids meet at Marina parks around the city every Friday. And it was like. one of the first or two one of the first or second Fridays. And our morning was just a disaster. It was just
00:26:25
Speaker
crying, screaming, fighting a whole entire morning. And I was like, I don't even want it. I'm like, we're not going to make it. Like we're not even going to get there. Like I don't even want to go. It's just like so much effort. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to go. We're going to pack everybody up. Even if they're screaming at me, even if they're screaming at each other, we're going. And it ended up just being so nice. We all needed it. They needed to get out to play with their friends. I needed to get out. And it was just such a simple thing that I'm like, I'm really thankful that we have had this today somewhere to go that really brightened my mood, my spirits and helped my kids have a fun time, get out of their space, get out of their, you know, funks that they're in. And, you know, I'm just like, wow, this is such a good picture of how
00:27:15
Speaker
community really, it's not this huge big orchestration. It's the little moments, the little things here and there that really, you know, just build up over time and bring you that encouragement and just friendship that you need to go along. We're not supposed to do life alone, that's for sure. Totally. That community is important, you know, no matter what.
Celebrating Motherhood and Community Support
00:27:38
Speaker
And I feel like you get in your groove, whether you are working or you're staying at home or you're working part time, you know, you figured out and you've got you've got your people along the way to help you through. Props to all the moms out there. This is your designated time to just give yourself a pat on the back because you're doing a great job.
00:27:58
Speaker
way to go moms truly you got it yeah keep pushing through well it's time to wrap y'all but hope you have a great week thanks so much for listening to another episode remember everyone is worth celebrating talk soon