Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
5. Support Systems and Motherhood with Dr. SarahBeth Erisken
47 Plays1 year ago
Morgan and Rachael welcome their first guest, SarahBeth, a pediatrician and breastfeeding medicine doctor. SarahBeth shares her journey of becoming a specialist in breastfeeding medicine, the challenges she faced as a new mom despite her medical background, and the importance of having a supportive community. She offers invaluable advice on navigating the postpartum period and emphasizes the significance of having trusted people to turn to during difficult times. Tune in to hear heartfelt stories, practical tips, and the passion Sarah Beth brings to her work with new moms and their babies.
Resources
*Physician Guide to Breastfeeding - Prenatal breastfeeding education and postpartum guide and troubleshooting
*E-lactancia - Medication safety
*Trash the Pump and Dump - Guide to all the situations where women may wonder if it’s safe to breastfeed- like during certain illnesses, after certain procedures, etc.
*Dr. Eriksen's Professional Instagram
Follow That's a Win on Instagram :)
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'That's a Win' Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey guys, Morgan and Rachel here. Welcome to that's a win podcast where we share the highs and lows of motherhood, celebrating the wins along the way. Thanks for joining us on our journey. Talk soon.
00:00:15
Speaker
Welcome come back everybody. Welcome back. We got another episode of that's a win podcast. We're here. We made it. How are you? I'm doing good. I just was taking myself a little breather post bedtime. Yes. Yes. It was good. Ivy fell asleep on me. So I like didn't want to put her down, you know, cause she does not usually, I can just lay her in her bed wide awake and you know, she rolls for a good bit. And then, but tonight. She just fell asleep on me and it was just special. I don't want to put her down. ah You got to take that in. I know. I'm like, should I just
Weekly Wins and Family Resilience
00:00:51
Speaker
stay here all night? What? there one Well, today's a fun one. We have an exciting episode. We have our first guest coming on. We'll talk about that in a little bit, but let's get started with our Winds of the Week. I'll go first this time.
00:01:08
Speaker
um My win of the week, well, I guess really it's just that we survived a nasty stomach bug that made its way through our house this weekend. Through all of you. Through all of us, and then some came back around. but We survived. We were fighting for our lives there for a couple of days. It felt like. day We made it. We're on the other side. That, oh my goodness. That's the worst kind of sickness, honestly. And it's different when it's just like your kids, but it's like when it goes through you and Cole and back around again, like, oh my goodness. I know.
00:01:51
Speaker
You're on the other side. I'm here to tell the story about it. so and shout Shout out to Mama Tams. Seriously, could not have survived without her. I meant to say that, so I'm glad that you read my mind per usual. and i knew I knew it was coming. I was just speeding up the process a little bit. I knew it was coming. I know. but That's a huge win. and yeah Yep. What about you? So mine is we got our, which I kind of already sent you a picture, but my win is that we kind of redid our patio out back and we got a new little sectional couch. We've got a new um little chair and tables with like umbrellas, a new rug. So that's my little sofa win. Just getting a new like revamp of
00:02:45
Speaker
the whole patio because it was a hot mess before. um and I feel like we couldn't enjoy that we you know did the play set back there. like We mulched it in and um the pavers. like I feel like we weren't enjoying that because it just looked not so good. so My win is that we got all that. Well, actually, Daniel is part of that. He built all of it, but now it's all set up. so That's my little win. just looking outside and seeing some pretty stuff out there yeah and i love eventually getting to enjoy hanging out out there and eating dinner and whatnot. So that's great. And I saw the cute little kids picnic table. That's adorable. Yes. Yes. Had to have the picnic table. Nora has never sat there, but we have one. We have one. Just two days.
00:03:33
Speaker
Right. Got it. That's hilarious. Oh my gosh. I
Introducing Guest: Sarah Beth
00:03:38
Speaker
love it. Well, first podcast guest. That's hard to say podcast guest. The first guest on our podcast today is a friend of mine. She's also a pediatrician, a breastfeeding medicine physician, and she's a mom of three. And we're going to talk to her today about child development, that postpartum period breastfeeding. So I'm really excited to get her insight on some of those really just intense first few months, first year, child development, all those things. So super excited to have her on. And without further ado, let's welcome Sarah Beth. Sarah Beth, welcome. Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you? oh
00:04:20
Speaker
I'm good. i'm I'm in the raw tonight. It's the middle of my work week and after dinner and the chaos and bedtime. And i am I am here. I'm here for it. Hold on. But thank you for having me. This is really fun. i know Thank you for joining us. And we're super excited. You are our first guest on the podcast. So super exciting. Well, I You are so sweet and that makes me feel... I don't know if I should feel special or or what. How many people turned you down, Morgan, before you found me? Don't tell me. Don't tell me. You were our first choice, no lie. Yes, you were. You were. When this was in the works and we're like talking about you know what we want out of this and what we want to accomplish with this podcast,
00:05:19
Speaker
She already knew your name was coming up that we wanted to have you on here because I mean, again, I've never met you. I mean, through this, yes, but I've heard wonderful things about you through more e and so I'm excited to hear your input and your advice and all your, and you know, words of wisdom for us. So I'm excited. So you were for sure. This is my heart. This is a very easy yes, I think, as soon as we're going to ask. I will always say yes to talking about moms and babies and better supporting them. And I'm really grateful for what you guys are doing, because this is ah such an important conversation, not just the one we're going to have, but
00:06:05
Speaker
you know just the real and the raw, like we're saying, sharing life together and the joys, the wins and the losses, you know, along the way. So um i'm I'm here for it.
Sarah Beth's Journey and Motherhood Insights
00:06:20
Speaker
Well, why don't we start out for those that don't know you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background and you know how you got into what it is that you do. Sure. Well, I'm a pediatrician and a breastfeeding medicine doctor, which a lot of people ah may not have even known that that was a thing, but I've been in practice for about 10 years and it's been really fun and and so sweet to see how things have kind of changed over that 10 years for me personally and my work as a general pediatrician. I um
00:06:58
Speaker
I've always just loved the newborn period and getting to spend time with families and be a part of that, you know, joy, that excitement in the very early days of new life. And that was even before my husband and I started our own family. It was just fun work to do in the hospital and that side of things. And as we did start our own family, that was just like a deer in the headlights kind of experience for me. you know i I remember thinking, i I'm just you know so well prepared to be a mom. If anyone's prepared, you know I literally have have the letter on my name, the training. I'm going to know what to do. And and then lo and behold, you know nothing much about my the plans or expectations that I had around my delivery.
00:07:53
Speaker
went according to plan and I had a lot of challenges adjusting to being a new mom and a new city. um Our first was born just a few weeks after we had moved. And so we had little social support, little connections, um a few friends. and And so there was all of that stress all at the same time. And even as a provider, as a medical provider, it was really tough to navigate, you know, who do I ask for help? where do I go? What's normal? What's not in terms of my own health and experience? And um so I think, you know, certainly God uses our stories, right? And kind of takes us on a path that now looking back, it's so clear that was really when my eyes were so open to, you know, the challenges that are faced in that really vulnerable postpartum period. But it also was very eye opening to my own
00:08:53
Speaker
you know, lack of expertise, some of the gaps in my knowledge, even having come through great training programs. I still have gaps in my own knowledge base, especially around lactation and complications of ah lactation. So as a result of my own challenges and and heartache, to some extent, it really gave me a heart to want to change that narrative for the families that I serve. And I wanted to be able to be you know someone that people knew that they could call um if they had a challenge or who wouldn't know what to do in those moments of of hard conversations about you know sleepless nights and tears feeling inadequate or you know ah lots of different things people experience.
00:09:42
Speaker
So that was, and that was about nine years ago. So since then I did do some extra training to learn more about lactation and just very, very recently ah breastfeeding medicine has become a new medical subspecialty, which is amazing to kind of have gotten to be a part of that, you know, not really be in the mainstream medical world and kind of crafting the niche as, you know, nationally it's becoming a an actual board certified practice. So um now that's all I do for my work is take care of babies and breastfeeding moms. And I love it. is It is joy. I mean, it is. I hope everybody feels like they have the best job in the world. but
00:10:32
Speaker
I do personally feel like I have the best job. Like it's me, it's me. i have I have the best one actually, it's me. That is amazing and I can just tell a personal story to attest to that that just shows your heart for people and caring for people in that time. I will never forget this and I literally tell everybody about this but I remember day one home from the hospital with my firstborn, COVID, you had given some of us ladies a little intro to breastfeeding course I was texting you at 2 a.m. trying to feed Jude we're struggling I'm crying and like you had already set that space ahead of time to know I knew I could come to you and I'm like if I didn't have her I'm like is this normal and you're like I come over tomorrow morning and I came over to your house and you watched me feed and you helped me figure that out and that like impacted us like I'm gonna try not to cry but it's had a huge impact on us and just like how selfless and serving you and your family is and just wanting to be there for moms like I truly can't imagine not having you in that moment like I wouldn't have known what to do and that really affected our
00:11:46
Speaker
you know, long-term breastfeeding journey and just in other ways too. So I'm a personal testament to that, that you are living out, living that out. And I love to see that, that you're just flourishing and in that role. Gosh, I remember you talking about COVID, you know, little classes like during that time. And that was around the time we'd had our third is just a little older than Jude. And there weren't really no breastfeeding classes or, you know, a post what to expect delivering in a hospital because nobody knew what was going to happen. Like even, I didn't know if my husband was going to get to be there when the baby was born. No one got to come. And so there was a long period of, you know, a lot of just even the normal resources, not being there. And that was fun. If my couch could tell stories of the people who got there,
00:12:44
Speaker
Caltrans can't commit HIPAA violations, so that is my heart, you know, open door. and And I think that is a huge need, I guess, that I saw in my own experience, which just the knowing like who's in your corner, who's in your village, because it I think it's so important to just normalize that it's so common to face challenges, not necessarily just with breastfeeding, but just unexpected things in those days after delivery or, you know, ah even just your spouse or partner wondering if everything's normal or saying it's not normal and having people
00:13:24
Speaker
around you that can speak to that is even just so much sweeter um to walk with
Building Supportive Parenting Communities
00:13:31
Speaker
you through that. And and yeah now and and a friendship comes out of it. What would you say are some of the most rewarding aspects of working you know as a pediatrician and so closely with new moms? oh i One of the reasons I chose pediatrics was my grandfather was a family practice doctor in a rural community. and I remember even as a child, like my daughter's age, seven years old,
00:14:02
Speaker
like just being very aware that he had a special relationship with people and in our community, which is a lot smaller than and our community in Knoxville. But, um you know, like going to the grocery store, going to Walmart, he would see people he had delivered their babies or he had been there during some critical moment of their lives. And I remember thinking, you know, i I want to be that for other people. I'm You know, that's really special and it seems like he had such a neat ministry um of just presence and help. but And so as I went through medical school and training, being in a children's hospital kind of even took that to a whole different level because they families tend to rally around their children. So as a care provider, you're not just taking care of the patient, the child.
00:15:00
Speaker
but you're really kind of coming alongside a whole family in a way that's pretty unique across the lifespan. Like not a lot of other points of care have multiple family members involved. And so I loved that. I felt like it was really, really special. And so, and I love that kids wanted to get better. And this was talking about even big kids, you know, the atmosphere of pediatric care was colors and smiles and wanting to get better. And even that I think is so powerful, you know, it still encourages me when kids want to get better. They don't like to be sick. They're very resilient. um And so that that has been rewarding since the very beginning for me, you know, 15 years ago or however long it's been that I started down this road.
00:15:52
Speaker
And now what's rewarding the most, I mean, is still the smiles and those personal interactions with the families. Like, I see you, you know, i I hear you, I trust you, you trust me, like we have a special relationship. And there's nothing like that in the world. I am so thankful for it. I feel like it's a it's a holy thing to get to have someone one entrust their child to you. Even, you know, it's not and totally to me. I don't think that by any means that their lives are completely in my hands, but I'm hoping that God's using me, you know, as a tool to be a blessing to them and to share what I know and to walk beside them like a partner.
00:16:40
Speaker
Um, and so still like when those babies smile at me or I get to hold them for a second, like I would rate it for the world. And, and I have had brief periods of, you know, not, not having that direct patient care. And I, I miss it. I know it's like, it's certainly a calling for me in this season of life to be. to be in that space and I'm so grateful for it. That's awesome. It's just cool to see just your passion for it and like you are where you need to be like 100% and I think that's awesome. That's exactly what I was going to say like this is my first encounter with you over a camera or a computer and like and I look like I'm in the cave.
00:17:24
Speaker
yes
00:17:27
Speaker
I am not a cave woman. for all of those in the podcast world. can Can't see what I looked like on the Zoom. But you can see it just like radiating off of you. Like the way you smile, the way your eyes light up. Like you are like just radiating it. Like you can, you can see the true joy coming from what you do, which is really cool. Yeah. Thank you. I mean, it and you know, I'm really fortunate. Like God's provided jobs for me over the years that have allowed me to
00:17:59
Speaker
be present with my family and and also be um you know present with my patients and forming relationships with them. So I think that's that's a huge part of staying resilient and joyful in this work is figuring out that balance. And it looks different for sure for different people and different seasons of life, I'm sure. But um I think like to your point about the best job, you know, it's true. And I get to have some time and space with my family because I'm part time right now. And so ah when I go to work, I go to work joyfully going to work. And when I come home, I'm ready to be fully home. And yeah, I feel very called to both places. It's sweet.
00:18:46
Speaker
Going back to just, you know, those early first first few months or really, you know, becoming a new mom, what what do you feel like resources or something you would recommend, you know, books or support groups? You know, I had you, which was super nice, but maybe everybody doesn't have their own Sarah Beth hanging around on speed dial. So what would you recommend? recommend for new moms who are looking for that support? I think that's a great question and I think a lot of people are asking that question. I could ask that question ah a fair amount but I think we're all asking that subconsciously about things all the time. You know, where's the best place to look for this piece of information that I need or this question that I have about my child and
00:19:31
Speaker
I have been just meditating a lot on this idea and I'm curious to hear what you guys say. I will certainly share with y'all some resources that I use kind of on the daily in my work just that I feel like are solid and have good evidence-based to them. Y'all can maybe stick those in the show notes or something but it's this idea of resource versus relationship and the priority that we are putting on resources um over the people that we have around us and and it's true like most people don't maybe have my personal cell phone number to call at two o'clock in the morning but you have people you might not even know that you have and there's so much value to the village you know and that collective experience that collective knowledge base that comes from just having other
00:20:28
Speaker
friends or other women around you to share you know what their experience was or maybe so what happened with them or what what you know they would have done different or what went well. And and so I think in terms of encouraging people, that may especially for first-time families, that there's a lot of usually kind of angst around like making sure we're reading the right stuff or taking the right class. I tend to just be more of the mindset you know to take a big deep breath and just think about who is in your corner and I mean I have been at that place where I really had not many people in my corner because we had just moved and we didn't have family in town and hadn't really met any friends and I was about to
00:21:17
Speaker
you know, have a baby any hour. So there wasn't a lot of opportunity for that. And I think even still, you can be thoughtful about, you know, who, who might I need to call if I have a problem and kind of think about that ahead of time. Think about who could be in your corner or who would come um to your aid even if it's a hospital or you know ah your own provider or somebody down the street that's had kids before that that just understands. I think there's not enough thought that we're putting towards like thinking about those relationships that we have and and so much. if I'm sure some of that is just you you know social media driven and just the access we have to so many resources, like more knowledge.
00:22:06
Speaker
than we've ever had before at our fingertips. And so we undervalue just the lived experience, you know the value of the lived experience and the people right around us. um What do you think about that? I loved how you worded that the relationship versus the resource because in my opinion, the relationship feels way more tangible and more meaningful than anything you could read. You know, it feels more personal, obviously, hence it being a relationship, but I feel like that's what like feeds your soul is like the relationship versus
00:22:44
Speaker
The other information just gets in your head and I feel like we're talking about social media and how there's so much out there. It's hard to discern, okay, there's too much. It's just too it's information overload. and so I think having that personal connection is huge and just just to relate to and be like, is this did you ever feel this way? you know or in my and i normal or you know all these things. like yeah i mean What you were saying was like after Jude was born, yeah just all those feelings of my body is doing all these crazy things, things I didn't expect. Is this okay?
00:23:23
Speaker
And there, you certainly could ask chat GPT that and it would tell you, you know, the fact that it's a medical delivery and um when you should be worried or call your healthcare care provider, but it's not going to like look you in the eyes and say like, I see you and I have felt those same feelings. Or I remember when my body felt that way and. Yeah. I can give it a couple of weeks. This is going to be a lot better hanging in there. You know, I think we need that human connection and we need that.
00:24:00
Speaker
from other women that have walked before us. And I mean, I do. I absolutely do. And I still do. It's really, it's a sweet thing. Not, I mean, a week or two ago, I sent a text to, ah I'll call her like a ah mentor friend, a mom who's about 10 years older than me and just said, hey, like dealing with this with one of my kids. Can you like, don't respond immediately, but let me know what your thoughts are. What should I do? How should I pray? and And she takes me back within a day and was like, oh, I remember feeling that way. You know? And so it's just like having those people just a little bit ahead of you that can hold your hand and say, you know, I remember, and those people behind you too, like to say, come on, it's going to be okay. Like, you know, everybody needs somebody a little bit ahead of them them and everybody needs somebody a little bit behind them. And everybody needs somebody right beside them too.
00:24:57
Speaker
That's so true. Hey, there we go. Yeah, that was for free. Let me get my pen and paper out of it.
Child Development and Maternal Well-being
00:25:10
Speaker
But I mean, and that's certainly not to discredit resources. And it is helpful to have, I think, a little bit of knowledge of what, ah you know, common complications are. And so I'll get y'all some some good stuff that people can look through but you know most most of it is easy easy reading and the real energy needs to go into I think before you ever meet the baby on the outside thinking through like who is my village who who are the people that I know I can call for maybe one is you know when I'm tired and
00:25:50
Speaker
I don't think I can stand up straight anymore. I'm going to call this person to just come hold my baby. And here's the person that I'll call when, you know, we're out of food. There's no more sofas lasagna and I cannot eat another bowl of cereal. Call this person and they'll bring me takeout or, you know, then here's a person I'll call when there's a rash and I'm not sure if it's like the end or no big deal. Um, life or death. I'll call. call this person. and And if people completely aren't sure and don't have those ah people, then I think that's when the church needs to be there. You know, there's resources that are peer support groups through places like WIC and the health department and even our library and our community has mom's groups that you can join you know prior to delivery. So I think if you're not sure
00:26:49
Speaker
just start showing up where some moms are and find your people. You know you don't have them, go find them. There's moms everywhere. Yes. It brings me back to our pastor here at church. like He'll always say, and it just kind of goes along with this, like we are not meant to do life alone. So that just goes along with your community and having people in your corner. you know Yeah, you have to. That's so true. And I feel like there's some kind of like, when you're just with another mom, you have this sense of like unspoken connection without even having to yeah even get into it. Like it almost crosses the barrier of like, okay, it's easier to make a relationship because you have that in common, you know? And I feel like
00:27:34
Speaker
i you know When we were talking about having moms ahead of us, like I look forward to, you know I think about women in my life who are ahead of me that I've relied on. I'm like, I can't wait to be that to somebody one day when I'm you know a little bit further in my journey and I can look back and help in ways that people have helped me. and I just think that's really cool. and A lot of that right is even just the heart of what you're doing with You know, that's a whim is is sharing your life, sharing the process and the journey. And it will be really fun to listen back on some of these really early episodes, you know, and think like, gosh, you know, look, look how far we've come, but also for young people to be able to listen and to you in different seasons too. It's almost like a ah living journal.
00:28:25
Speaker
Yes. That's so true. That's a really cool. And cause again, like, yeah, we're probably not going to remember all the small little things, but like if we talked about it on here, it's like, Oh wait, remember when XYZ happened or look at this, we felt this way and look, we got through that and look where we are now. you know. Yeah and the things that cause you to not sleep today aren't the things that are going to cause you not to sleep in 10 years and 20 years. That's right. At least that's what I'm told, you know. Little people, little problems. Big people, big problems.
00:29:03
Speaker
I'm not ready for those big problems yet. I'm not ready for those. Me either. I'm still kind of in the stage of like, are you going to grow up to rob a liquor store? to rob let's do Who are you going to be? Absolutely no, you know, judgment to people who have. I can use it all, you know? and And ultimately, I mean that, right? That is our hope. Like it's not when I'm losing sleep, I shouldn't be because he's got it.
00:29:38
Speaker
little people have a problem or big people, big problem. Yep. So true. And thinking about a child's like first year you know and and talking about parents and discerning, is this a little problem? Is this a big problem? you know like How can we come alongside our kids and help support their development, and but also know when it's like, okay, this is a little problem or is this a big problem? Should we seek attention? I think you know different personalities obviously have different tolerances of
00:30:10
Speaker
Like you were saying the rash, I'm pretty sure I sent you, dude, it's like a little eye goop that he had in his eye and you're like, Oh, it's just the block tear duct or whatever it is, you know, like first time mom not knowing anything. Like, yeah how do, how do we navigate that? I guess. Yeah, that's a great question. And it's kind of, it's not intended to be a loaded question, but it is a lot, there's a lot of layers, right? To that question, because there's, you know, there is that reality of different parenting personalities and tolerance ah you know some people are just a lot more anxious at baseline about everything. So of course, this little human who's completely helpless ah apart from them is going to be a huge stressor. I think it's different for every child. Like you are, and I tell people this about breastfeeding, but it's true about all of parenting, especially for your first is, you know, This is a rare experience in life where you are having to teach someone to do something even though you've never done it before. um And so you've got to give a lot of grace to yourself because you're learning something and teaching something at the same time. And there's not, I mean, I can't think of any other time in life where we're expected to do that. You know, usually it's like,
00:31:35
Speaker
In medicine, we'll say, see one, do one, teach one. like You see somebody do it, you do it yourself, and then you go you know teach somebody else. And the teaching is kind of the final mastering of learning the skill. But in parenting, we're teaching somebody and kind of like actively learning about it all in one time. And so and I think we do we value so much expertise. and you know, that sense of like, I know what to do, that it's really hard in our minds to figure out, you know, when do I call and ask for help? But I think it's normal and it's healthy, the first baby for, especially when everything is so new and and unknown to ask lots of questions and don't be afraid to ask lots of questions, which, like you know, a lot of that, I think if there is fear of asking questions, sometimes that's pride.
00:32:35
Speaker
you know and not wanting to look like you don't know what to do or you don't want to be perceived as a certain way as a mom and kind of put in a box. um But I think it's humility to say, you know i I don't know and I need help and and and to ask for it. And and then ah you're going to learn so much that you don't even realize that you're learning. So when you have that next baby, and you see that black tear duct again, you go, oh, like I remember this. I don't have to ask this question again, um because I know. And so it's kind of like this little, you know, knowledge that pays forward. um Every child you learn and grow and you can apply that learning to
00:33:23
Speaker
your next experience. Although, you know, God's sense of humor is that the next child tends to have you unique struggles and unique story that will provide a lot more opportunity for new experiences and learning. But I mean, I still I feel very young and the parenting journey myself, like our oldest is nine. And I've kind of learned to start telling him when he's frustrated or I'm frustrated is, you know, we're walking with him through development is, hey, you know, I just want you to know, I've never had a nine year old before. that I am having to learn how to be a mom of a nine year old and
00:34:05
Speaker
I apologize. ah I don't always handle that well. or you know I'm still learning. Please be gracious to me because i'm learn you're the learner. you know you're You're the teacher. I'm the learner. um This is my first time. And so I learned, I think, every baby we had to try and just give myself more grace for the process and enjoy the moment, enjoy the things about it that were hard or uncertain and and to just not have to feel so on top of it. You know, um you know, I think in terms of supporting development, I mean, there's some very easy, you know, pediatrician answers to how we can support our kids development. But I think statistically, practically, you guys like ah maternal mental health is so important for development of a child. And so
00:35:03
Speaker
The answer, out the like professional answer I would give is one of the most important things you can do to support the development of your child to be happy and healthy emotionally and physically is for you to be happy and healthy emotionally, physically, spiritually. So you can't give to them what you don't have. um and And so you have to take care of yourself. You have to, you know, still have those friendships, connections that give you life. And, and I think it is a challenge and any honest mom will tell you it is hard to figure out what that looks like practically. Like I'm not bringing an easy answer for that. Y'all need to get, um you know, your next guest tell them that's what you want to talk about. Like, how do we figure out how to actually be happy and healthy emotionally, physically and spiritually from
00:35:59
Speaker
You know, a professional standpoint, that's one of the things I'm probably most concerned about is maternal mental health. And it's definitely one of the top causes of maternal morbidity, which is like, you know, things that impact your quality of life, but also mortality because part of depression and anxiety and mood disorders. So I think if people would prioritize that in the same ways that we do, all the resources for our kids and giving them lots of opportunities and learning. And um certainly we want to engage with them and read with them, but we've got to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves and our spouses, our our vital relationships. And the children will benefit from that, not just in the immediate, but you know for the rest of their lives.
00:36:50
Speaker
That's what I love. I feel like the theme kind of of things that we've been talking about is, you know, in the first few weeks or in the first year, but really it's applicable all throughout, you know, and you're growing with your child, you're learning with your child. Each new stage, as you said, I've never had a nine year old before, you know, this is my first time having a four year old, you know, you're constantly learning. You never have it. You never are like, okay, I got this. And if you think you got it, then absolutely don't. Yeah, then we want to have you on the show next.
00:37:22
Speaker
Just reveal yourself, volunteer, distribute, please. But I don't know. I just like that theme because I feel like a lot of like the initial questions are like, Oh, what about, you know, in this small little period, but it really transcends all throughout. Yeah. And it's, it's so true. And it would be probably my main encouragement for people even, you know, prior to having a baby, but certainly if you know, you have a baby coming and you're starting your family is think about, the end before the beginning. Like, where do you want to be? What's your hope, your dream for what your family's becoming? And you know, that scriptural, the Bible says without a vision, people perish. And so we have to have a vision for
00:38:06
Speaker
our families for who who we are discipling and praying for, you know that they're becoming. And I think that if we do, it really helps to put a lot of the daily struggles, which are things like you know refusing to take naps or you know not falling asleep until 11 o'clock at night or you know I don't know, temper tantrums or right now we're doing a lot of negotiating. I've got some really very talented negotiators at my house that could be like excellent in a court of law. and A lot of promise if anyone's got scholarships, I've got lots of potential. ah But you know, and and so it's so easy to get lost in that and to not to have the ability to just step back and think, you know, what is the big picture here?
Parenting Challenges and Flexibility
00:38:57
Speaker
What is the
00:38:58
Speaker
goal like what are Brian and I's goals for who you know we were hoping that these children become and then the the daily challenges can kind of find their place in that you know. um and And it helps us figure out how to parent to the daily challenges. Like if we're trying to teach you to be self-disciplined, self-controlled to have like the fruits of the Holy Spirit, then we might respond in a certain way, even though maybe that wouldn't necessarily be our first instinct. Does that make sense? Totally, yeah.
00:39:40
Speaker
It does because you have the end goal on mine in that point. You're not just so harping on the small little moments there. Yeah and I think especially I mean when when years are little like they say the days are long and the years are short you know like if you're going through a sleep regression and you haven't slept in three days three days feels like three years and it feels like it is never gonna end. It really does so I mean and sometimes I don't even think we have the strength in ourselves to like think about that big picture and that's when the village comes back like we got other people kind of reminding us like they're not gonna you know refuse to sleep forever. They go to college when once they finally leave your house they're gonna sleep all the time.
00:40:29
Speaker
And then we're going to be like, no, can you come back? Can you come back? Let's go back to the days where you're here and not taking a nap, please. but I love that so much. This has been great. i've I've been really encouraged personally, just from talking with you guys. um We have a little segment called Win of the Week, and I thought we would wrap up. We just kind of highlight, OK, what's something that was a small victory or a big victory this week in our motherhood journey? And I thought we would wrap up with you sharing
00:40:59
Speaker
that with us, what your win of the week is. No, I love that. Okay. um Well, my, I've had some sweet little, you know, wins. I'm trying to train myself to look for them, you know, because I think i if you're looking for them, you're going to see more. But ah a more obvious one that happened to me just a couple of days ago was kind of this just reality, you know, of of the messiness of parenting, where I was talking a minute ago about the kids and being in their negotiator phase. And we were just having a morning. I was home with them for the day. And it was ah a tough morning of just a lot of you know frustration on my part with them and not listening, not being responsive to things I was asking them to do with things like screen time. And um I think they were frustrated because they just wanted to relax and they really didn't
00:41:53
Speaker
want to have to be told to make their beds and brush their teeth. And anyway, it was just kind of escalating tension. you know It's like, it's building and building. And finally, I mean, I've just kind of reached a breaking point it where I was like, you guys, we have got to stop and start over. Like we have got to retread. this day. This is not what we're going for in our family. And it was kind of an intense moment. like I think they were sort of like, during the headlights, like, is mom okay? um You know, she's she's saying like, enough. And yet, like, God really provided because I literally got all of us out of the house as quickly as possible. You know, when you just need like a real
00:42:39
Speaker
change of scenery. and then And so we all just put our bathing suits on and went downtown, which is not something that we get to do a whole lot. like We all went to the splash pad at World's Fair Park. And as we were there, it was a blast. First of all, it was crazy hot. But then they wanted to go to the park that's really close by to there that they love. So we went to the park and then they wanted to go to the art museum, which you can see, which is right across the street. So we went to the art museum and it kind of became just this really fun and adventure and like unexpected. We were supposed to be home doing the laundry and chores and making our beds and brushing our teeth all day. And instead we just kind of had to push, push pause and start over. And it was a lot of fun.
00:43:33
Speaker
you know, just having a ah little adventure together. So I would say that was my win, even though I'm not sure the way I handled all the frustration was a win. Like it it was redeemed, you know, in the end and just getting to have a do over for all parties involved and a restart. So struggle is real, but so I think yeah it's important to share. I'm still trying to learn too and God provides those sweet wins unexpectedly and it is so sweet when they happen. Like I don't get to go do that every day with my babies. It was a one-time fun thing for the summer. Well it seems like also like that was what you all needed in that moment too. Like you know you had in your head that this is how the day's gonna go but
00:44:29
Speaker
Yes, it was good for them, but it was also a good restart for you also, you know so all around. Everyone, I mean, we call them do-overs at our house. like Everyone needed a do-over, and it was the best do-over, and it just kind of happened spontaneously, which made it really fun. That's the best. Yeah, it was the best time.
Conclusion and Appreciation
00:44:49
Speaker
It was, and we all came home whooped. We were exhausted at the end of that. There you go. That's awesome. Thanks for sharing that with us. And thank you so much for being our guest and for joining us, sharing all your wisdom and your knowledge and just taking the time. We really, really appreciate it. And I've loved having you. Well, I'm tickled to death to be your first. So I'm really grateful. Thanks you guys for trusting me with the with the time.
00:45:21
Speaker
Absolutely. Thank you. And thanks to our listeners for joining our conversation. We hope you guys have enjoyed it as much as we have, and we will catch you next week. Bye. Bye. Thanks so much for listening to another episode. Remember, everyone is worth celebrating. Talk soon.