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S3E20&21 - Colonel Homer & Black Widower
11 Plays6 months ago
Jon, Michael and Matt watch The Simpsons episodes 'Colonel Homer' & 'Black Widower', and discuss what they say about society.
Follow us on Twitter: @Molemanpod
Jon: @Meroka_BM
Matt: @mattperspective
Michael: @BMashHorse
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Transcript
Humorous Introduction & Podcast Return
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, this is mole man in the morning good mole man to you. Oh Welcome to mole man in the morning good mole man to you Elvis Presley Okay, John think what the first fucking episode we're talking about take a wild fucking guess why I went with that impression yeah take i know gar is a connectioner That's fine. Yes. Okay. I'll allow it. Yeah, ah you'll allow it. Thank you so much. I I'm glad that we've been gone for like a month and a half and this is the first thing we've come back to. The first thing you get is me yelling at John. You wouldn't have it any other way. I don't think so. Yeah, I think that is I think that's what people come here for is just unadulterated aggression.
00:00:42
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, like I can see it. I can believe it. And shamelessly on these plugs. I mean, if they wanted anything else, they're not going to find it, so. Absolutely.
Focus on 'The Simpsons' & New Location
00:00:51
Speaker
What the getting? Well, what is the purpose of this podcast? Oh, that's a fine question. I'm glad you asked me that. What a guy! We are Mole Man in the Morning and we are a podcast about how The Simpsons says a lot about society. Whoo! It's not ruthless aggression. Well, it's part of it. I'm your host, John, and I am joined, as ever, by my two charming and very sympathetic co-hosts, Matt. How dare you call me charming? How dare you? And Michael. Adleho, podcasto, you know. I need a catchphrase. Yeah, well, you've had plenty of chance to make one.
00:01:30
Speaker
We apologize for the viewers for the long time between real life got in the way. Yeah, this is the first podcast brought to you from Wales, which is where this is hosted now. So this will be broadcasting Welsh. I hope you guys have been brushing up on your Welsh language skills. Oh fuck, were we supposed to learn Welsh for this? I didn't do my homework. Yeah, we're we're pursuing a new audience. The English-speaking language audience just isn't working out for us. Oh no. We need a niche. oh no This is the world's first and only Welsh Simpsons podcast. Oh no, I learned Gaelic instead.
00:02:03
Speaker
I wonder if there is a podcast out there that is presented entirely in Welsh, because Wales has a lot of money into the preservation of their language. They have a whole news channel that's in Welsh. Yeah, no, that's a channel. Like a podcast is a niche interest. The new the news being presented in Welsh is not that weird, but I think a guy just doing a podcast, like what does the podcast that is presented entirely in Welsh talk about? Whales. Okay, well, you learn Welsh, you find out, and you get back to me on that one. I would love to learn Welsh. I have family in Wales, and a friend in Wales. I have two friends in Wales now! Yeah, and one of those should probably learn Welsh, if the other one doesn't already. Do you know what? I don't think Will has learned Welsh. I will check with him. Cool. I haven't yet, but I've only been here three weeks. ah Give me a chance. but I really feel like I should. You're already behind. I know.
Discussion on 'Colonel Homer' Episode
00:03:19
Speaker
We're here to look at two Sims episodes. We are looking at season three, episode 20, Colonel Homer and episode 21, Black Widower. Those are episode 19 and 20, if you're watching on Disney Plus, because obviously they hate Michael Jackson. Hey. What are we drinking, guys? I am drinking a lemon tea. You hurt your throat, Michael. No, I've hurt my liver. not
00:03:46
Speaker
a heavy bank holiday weekend i think yes well they had the caps of going and watching leads for both leads going to get promoted and not happening and consoling yourself with nine baby guineas is not a good lifestyle choice i listened i listened to it on the radio while i visited my family well they listened to it on the radio and i didn't care uh but yeah my brother's missus is from south amptom so they were actively texting My brother's like parents-in-law because my parents get on really well with them and they were just actively texting about it so that was fun. And in the event of any unlikely Southampton listeners, congratulations, you bastards. You bastards. Right, what are you drinking Matt? I got a Spanish beer that I've never heard of called Cruzcampo Sevilla.
00:04:38
Speaker
and I'm gonna open it right now. There you go. You guys wanna know what it tastes like? Here we go. I do. Tastes like beer, the end! Beer for the beer, best kind of beer. I mean, that's the thing is like, i I'm not the guy that goes for the flavor profile. I'm not the guy that goes for the weird, out there kind of weird thing. I don't have brand loyalty loyalty like Michael does. I just buy beer that has alcohol in it, the end. Speaking of flavour profile, Jon... Speaking making of twats... GO! I'm not drinking a beer this week. Welcome to superiority. No, Jon has taken up to to actually fermenting their own shit. And it will somehow taste better than the other crap they drink. I was recently gifted a bottle ah by a friend visiting from Finland ah all of ah salty licorice liqueur.
00:05:38
Speaker
You know, I've weirdly heard so many positive things about licorice-based alcohol. Finnish salty licorice is a unique beast unto itself. I i was gifted a bag last time said friend came to visit and acquired the taste for it. It tastes it takes some acquiring. It's nothing to be taken lightly, but I do quite like salmiakki. So salt and beer don't sound like, or liqueur don't seem like it makes. Uh, there are people who put some salt in beers. Salty beers are a thing. They're weird. I don't care for them much. Yeah, I know. I know you. I am no longer surprised about what people put in alcohol. That's... That's weird, but good. Yeah, it the sweetness of the liqueur is kind of like...
00:06:27
Speaker
balanced with the saltiness it's kind of like a salty caramel kind of sort of balance to it like the salt is a flavor enhancer but also not hearing much about the licorice it's licorice it tastes like licorice what do you want what the fuck is licorice it's icorice's brother i was thinking that it's like yes it's a weird porno version of greek mythology licorice so what do you call it licorice It's not licorice. It's spelled with a C-E on the end, not an S-H. Michael, how do you pronounce licorice? Licorice. Thank you. Nope. No one in the history of ever- This is the family guy cool whip moment of good blood. No one in the history of ever has pronounced it licorice. I do. No, no you don't. You're doing this to be a break. This is the Welsh pronunciation. I genuinely don't believe you.
00:07:25
Speaker
I'm not accepting this bit. I'm not. I'm not accepting this bit. I genuinely a don't believe you that you pronounce licorice licorice Editing Morocco here. I didn't think I'd need an interjection this early, but here we are Did a little bit of Googling, found an AskUK Reddit thread, and this has been a point of discussion. It does seem to be a regional thing. Bit odd when you come consider that Matt and I are from the same region, but whatever. ah It seems like Licorice is a east coast of Scotland pronunciation, because a bunch of people from that region were like, yeah, we call it Licorice.
00:08:05
Speaker
Don't know how that wound up in my lexicon or my family's lexicon. No one in my family has ever pronounced it differently than I can remember. I'm pretty sure I've gotten licorice from my family, but that's a weird quirk. I'm not about to start calling it licorice. That sounds really weird to me. Anyway, back to the show. This podcast is about untamed aggression, isn't it?
00:08:29
Speaker
I'm a sad hand in here. Let's fucking talk about Simpsons. Fuckin' Colonel Homer aired on March 26, 1992. What happened on this day? Well, what I've got is Mike Tyson sentenced to 10 years in jail for rape of Dezeer, Washington. Jesus Christ! That is. He got out one of us. It's a headline. That's pretty notable. Mm hmm. He was out and he is going to be boxing YouTube influencers. What? Yeah. Did you not hear about the whole Logan Paul? like Not Logan Paul. Is it Logan Paul? It's the other one. I believe it's Jake. Jake Paul is is is boxing Mike Tyson. And I don't really have much skin in the game, but I do hope Jake Paul gets permanent fucking brain damage.
00:09:19
Speaker
Also, Mike Tyson is 60. He might die. No, Mike Tyson will be fine. I think so. I literally have nothing else. The US number one is Save the Best for Last by Vanessa Williams. Never heard of it. No, me neither. And our old favorite stay by Shakespeare's sister is the UK number one. I believe that may have recharted. I looked it up. It spent eight weeks in the charts. So we might see a bit of it. God damn. That's sir your news. sir enjoy that. And then we have the chalkboard gag of I will not conduct my own fire drills. That's just good life advice. Yeah, charcoal. And then the I think reused gag of them jumping. in Yeah, I'm pretty certain we've seen this one. It's a good one was first seen in Saturdays of Thunder. Yeah, it's a good one. It's fine. The soapbox one. Yes. That was just recent as well then. Yeah, this is so that was the third season.
00:10:15
Speaker
I feel like they've done like a set of couch gags for like half the episodes and they're using them like twice, yeah and each of them twice in the season. Using the new ones sparingly. Oh, the episode starts with the family at the Googleplex cinema. Good name, like it. Almost trying to find a parking spot but seems to be thwarted at every single turn until he notices the combat parking spot and... Homer very very awkwardly parks it and he even asks for advice from Lisa on how close he's touching even though sparks are emitting from the car. Homer saying that it was merely a suggested car size had me cackling that's such a good line. In Homer's defence he does park the car they just have to climb out of the windows.
00:10:57
Speaker
I mean, I've had to do that once, like not because they parked literally between two cars that scraped against them, but just because you know parking spaces have not evolved with the needlessly massive size of cars these days. It is a good point. ah yeah it was it was it was an accurate it had it It was mildly amusing. It was very droll, I guess, is how I would... It was fine. We then see the family browsing the board to see what film they're going to see. The particular options of, I will fry my face off, would be my favorite. There's quite a lot of background stuff in this episode and just like details that are like, here's a freeze frame that if you don't pause it, you'll you won't get all the stuff in it. And this is definitely one of those. The smell in Room 19 just sounds like a genuine modern horror film now. As someone who watches a lot of like indie horror films,
00:11:49
Speaker
They name it shit like that now. Oh, yeah. Space Mutant 6, the continuation of the series we've seen a couple times so far. Which is what Bart wanted to see. Lisa wanted to see Ernest has a peach cobbler or whatever the hell it was. She didn't. She wanted the school bus one. Honey, I shrunk the school bus one. No, no, Lisa wanted... This is a weird one because the sign didn't say the same thing. Lisa wanted Ernest cuts the cheese, but it was... No, all the way around. Bart wanted to see Ernest Cuts the cheese. Lisa wanted to see if school was one. Honey, I hit a school, but yeah, okay. Oh, man, what's to see? Look who's honking.
00:12:24
Speaker
I'm looking on, this is annoying actually, because I'm looking on Sims' Archive for the list of it, and they don't list the earnest film, but the bit that struck me, okay, regardless of who who said it, I apologise if I got it wrong, but ah the earnest film on the board was not the same earnest film that was requested, so... Yeah, well that's the thing is called... Maybe he had two films at once. Lisa and Bart suggest two films, and then go see a different film, because they go see Space Mutant 6. yes also true yeah so the whole the whole bit is like it's another one of those as soon as you start thinking about it it all falls apart because here is a list of very confused thing they bark gives a different earnest film and then they don't go see either of the films that either of them wanted to see anyway
00:13:10
Speaker
Yep, essentially what happens is the the family just like to split up. The kids brought Marge blind. Yeah, it took me a second to realise what had happened there. That yeah, Marge took out money to like give to the kids and they just went into the handbag. I don't know why that took me so long. Unfortunately, look who was onking has sold out. So March has just seen something more adult. Homer picks the Stockholm affair. And unfortunately for Homer, he doesn't realize it was that actually a political film. We then cut to the Homer and Marge watching the film and Homer is occupied with his drink, which is sloping quite loudly. He then attempts to take the ice out, but I don't know what the hell happened to you. and but It's just all frozen together, it drops onto his face in a block. But it doesn't look like ice though. Every time I see that scene, I think that looks like fucking styrofoam. That was what I thought, yeah. I thought it was styrofoam. Yeah, it did not animate it well, but ah standard death. Throwaway gag. yeah Fortunately, as Homer was joking, he missed several lines of the film, which he loudly keeps asking Marge about. Yeah, it's just Homer being Homer in the cinema. Yeah. Meanwhile, Lisa is watching the space alien film through her eyes, as Bart says she needs to watch it to desensitise herself through the violence.
00:14:23
Speaker
She's kinda not even watching, it's not even through she's just like hands over her face completely. but tells her that he put scary bits over and she can look and we cut the lisa being absolutely traumatized by whatever is on the screen Such an obvious gag but it was still very funny. yeah uh my missus likes you know sort of like some scary stuff but there's certain moments in films where i just know to like put my hand over her eyes or she'll yeah immediately do it herself and then just say tell me when it's over and i just sit there quietly and i'm always sat there tempted to be like yeah just make her open her eyes at the haunting bit but i'm like yeah but i'm also not a dickhead so
00:15:01
Speaker
Home of Me Miles, still watching the film, and he fails to realise that that guy is a spy, even though he went to spy school on the before, which is a nice little gag. He then gives away the ending, which gets him hurled with various condiments, as Homer's just trying to think out loud, but Marge finally has had enough and tells Homer nobody cares what he thinks to wild applause from all the cinema goers. uh apparently based on a a a real life bit yeah this episode was actually this is the only episode entirely written by Matt Groening he's co-written some other ones but this is the only episode he ever wrote entirely by himself and this was based on a very similar situation where like
00:15:42
Speaker
There were two annoying women in front of him. Grenning's friend asked them to move. They did. And he said, are you happy? And his friend said, I won't be satisfied until I see you burn in hell. That's amazing.
00:15:57
Speaker
We didn't see that over is now silently seething on the drive home as. Marge tries to make amends with him, but Bart doesn't help the situation by pointing at Homer's stress points on the back of his head, which makes Homer slightly more angry. As the family get home, Homer says that Marge has taken away his silent dignity and he's going to go for a drive. Yeah, he normally carries himself with a quiet dignity and tonight you robbed me of that. Homer says he's off for a drive and he doesn't know when he'll be back. He's back immediately as he has to hand over Maggie. Yeah, that got a chuckle. And he goes off again. And we didn't see Homer on his drive and... This coming bit was so fucking obvious and I'm genuinely ashamed I didn't see it coming. Homer sees a sign for Flaming. Is that what the restaurant's called? Flaming Pete's. Flaming Pete's. That's all. And Homer gets so excited as we keep seeing the signs of it getting closer and closer. He drives 75 miles to get to Flaming Pete's. What the hell, Homer? He was he was in a mood.
00:16:56
Speaker
but Ironically, flaming pizza's burnt down. Very literal. And then Homer, unfortunately, drives past the county dump and the sulfur factory, so he's even having to hold his breath. And a skunk. And then he gets to the point where he's at Opus and Suez for the next 40 miles. So Homer's driven about 120 to 130 miles here. Springfield is a hellhole. well he's in the next country next county now like that's true truth he's in spittle cuz i can't recall is spittle county is it or something like that yeah i think the lake spittle county or something like that number of the beer and brawl and uh... it would be much lives up to its name is uh... there's lots of beer and brawling immediately the greatest fight instigation i've ever seen in my life are you let's fight them's fighting words
00:17:42
Speaker
Omar tries to order a duff but they only sell FUD. We only sell FUD here. Alright FUD me. We see that there's some live music going on and Yodeling Pete comes up first and gets hit with a cheer. Man they really hate Yodeling Pete man. Yeah he's introduced as he's all healed up and back from war. Sorry he's Yodeling Zeke let's get his name right apologies. Absolute glutton for punishment. So, we then see that Lelini is next and the audience are appreciative until they realise that as she's performing, service will stop on drink, so it begins a a mini riot. Yeah, but why? I don't get this bit. I was thinking that the whole time. I was like, why? Why? Why would drink service stop? She's the waitress. She's the only waitress. Oh, OK. I finally fucking get the joke. Jesus Christ, that's...
00:18:33
Speaker
So, we tend to see that Homer is still stewing at the bar, and we'll learn him begin her song. No, but they have a bar! Just order at the bar, you fucking psychos! They're lazy. America's surprisingly big on table service, I found. Yeah. A few occasions I've been over there. Fucking idiots. As long as he goes through every line, and we see that Homer starts identifying with the song as she's going through.
Themes of Music & Emotional Connections
00:18:54
Speaker
Except a bit with the pickup truck, even though he initially does. That's exactly right! Except the pickup truck part. Essentially the thing, the song ends with, uh, your wife don't understand you, but I do, and we see how we have that slow realization in this space.
00:19:06
Speaker
As a huge country fan, these songs were the thing getting me through the episode. Goddamn, do I love these songs. They're great. Oh, it's so good as a musical episode. She's a very good singer, yes. Yeah, well, that was the thing. I Googled her, and she's not a singer. That was the thing that proper surprised me. I was like, oh, well, surely they're going to get a country singer for this episode. But no, Beverly DeAngelo is just just ah Just a woman, you know? She's an actress and a producer. she's She's been in a lot of stuff. Yeah, there's a weird connection there, because the episode is roughly based around a 1980 film called Cole Miner's Daughter, about a country singer called Loretta Lynn, who Lelean Lumpkin is based on, and Beverly D'Angelo is in fact one of the actors in that film. She's not the lead, but she is in it as a country singer.
00:20:04
Speaker
Yeah, so that's probably why she was quite good with this. So it's like a connection thing. But also, she wrote two of the songs in this. She wrote Your Wife Don't Understand You and also the the baseball one. That's awesome. Yeah, awesome. Very talented. Again, for for for a guest star that's not like... She's not a guest star that's playing herself. But I'm gonna send you guys an image. They really made made the character just look like her. oh yeah i know they absolutely did yeah yeah like i saw i saw this like when you google bevley d'angelo this is the picture that comes up and i thought man that just is lulene that's just her it's pretty close yeah they did have trouble because they also wanted to make her look attractive and apparently making people look attractive in the simpson style is very difficult i was gonna say that that's that trivia could have gone two different ways and i was like if you don't think this fucking woman's attractive then you're a fucking idiot
00:20:56
Speaker
But let let's phrase it like this, if Homer had straight hair, I wouldn't have wiped him. Yeah, I mean, yeah, no, she definitely she does. ah they They they managed to do it. They managed to do it is all I'll say. Lilian gets ah no reaction to her song, except for Homer, who comes over and tells her that her music has touched him in a way that he's never felt possible while he's also asking for the cameras. I love the way she reacts, though, when he when he comes up to her and says, I got something to say to you. And she's like, go on, you know, because she's just you know, she's she's underpaid. She's just jaded. Yeah, dude, come up and flirt with me all the time. Blah, blah, blah. Which, you know, is a running thing throughout the episode. But yeah, that that got a wry, that got a wry smile from me just the whole
00:21:40
Speaker
You know? Again, it's it's kind of an obvious bit, but it's a good bit. We don't get a nice little interaction between the two as they're asking each other's names, and Homer thinks her name is pretty, but he immediately forgets it. Also, why why were they just asking each other's names after dawn? I wrote that down myself. That was a weird one, because they they show it, oh, Homer's been here all night, it's sunrise, and like, hang on, and only now are they getting around to the going, oh, what's your name? although she was it Well she was the only waitress, she's been busy. Admittedly I have had entire conversations with people, like this was back at uni and stuff, but I've had entire conversations with people and then left and were like I don't know that person's name.
00:22:22
Speaker
Yeah, sure enough. I mean, like I guess... I don't know. It it it feels weird for them to be for Homer to spend the entire night until dawn propping up the bar, drinking and chatting to her, and only now to get to introductions. Yeah, and I agree. Despite his hammering your foot, Homer manages to drive home perfectly fine, singing the song in his head as he comes back home... Yeah, dude's lack of sleep and drunk. and he yeah drove home yeah not not avisable But the thing is we've talked about this before that The stuff Homer drinks in order to drink the amount that he does to To waste the amount of money that he does must be like less than 1% It's like the the beer that they drink instead of water in some countries where water is real shit You know, I mean, it's like basically not beer
00:23:15
Speaker
Homer gets home to see Marge, and Marge is shocked that he drove 110 miles out of town. But Homer stops it by saying it's time to stop fussing and get on some loving. So, presumably, they bang. Yeah, Marge doesn't look as into it as pleased as she usually is. Yeah, I know. She's normally, like, up for it anytime, anywhere. Well, ah one thing I've noticed from like looking at, like again, cause Simpsons over the time will go through every trope of sitcoms. And one of the inevitable tropes is always fucking the husband cheating on the wife or possibly cheating on the wife or whatever. And the indicator of this in almost every sitcom or drama or whatever is that suddenly the husband is way more caring, way more attentive and way more excited to be around.
00:24:05
Speaker
because, you know, they're dating someone young, so they're all reinvigorated. and So so matt it's it's that kind of thing that Marge is curious why Homer has spent all night not being at home and then suddenly come home in a great mood and up for sex. You know what I mean? So, you know. Almost still got the song in his head as he's working out the power plants as he's just pressing random levers which are just killing all the power in town. Causing rolling brownouts across Springfield, yep. Including in the hospital where a doctor inadvertently removes the gold blood that he wasn't supposed to. And someone who sounds a lot like Lenny tells him to put it back.
00:24:41
Speaker
but but We then cut to Homer and Moe's asking for a foot and Moe points out that he thought it was off the market because it made hillbillies go blind. There was also the bowling scene where he's bowling a 280 because he's singing songs to it. Sorry, I forgot about that scene. Homer is bowling a 280 which Lenny's mocking him for singing to the ball until he learns this fact and then Lenny starts singing to his ball as well. any of you guys bowling fans i think we've talked about this before but i'm gonna ask again any of you guys bowling fans i will go bowling if people want to go bowling but i like fans i like playing it i like playing it i don't like watching it yeah well fucking duh no some people do i look well yeah and people like fucking watching paint dry uh yeah i love bowling i'm shit at it but i like bowling
00:25:29
Speaker
No, you know, I'm a gutter merchant. i mean as i'm a chi I'm as sad as moe is when he learns that Homer went to another bar and can't accept Homer's excuse. He was 100 miles. Yeah, I was surprised they didn't push this bit more. Homer says, you know, I was I was in another county or whatever. And then that's the end of it. Yeah, it felt like it was going somewhere, yeah. I wonder if that was just cut for time, maybe. I tell you where Homer is going, he's going to Spittle County, where he just magically knows- Spittle County, that's it. Yeah. Where he magically knows where Lilene lives. Yeah. Well, I'm sure in the four or five hours they spent talking, but not getting to names, she probably informed him where she lives.
00:26:11
Speaker
Homer arrives at the mobile park, which is 14 days without a tornado. Remember that detail? I'm gonna stick a pin in that one, yep. And Homer says he can't get Laleen's song out of his head and asks for a copy of it, but Laleen reveals that she keeps it all in her head, which include great numbers of don't look up my dress unless you mean it. And I'm basting a turkey with my tears. I'm sick of your lying lips and false teeth.
00:26:37
Speaker
that's homo instead realizes they've got a crackling head open and scoop out that song knowledge and takes it to I don't know what this but but you'd call these um sort of record your music store it is well it's just a record store that's got like a booth in it if you ever saw the music video to um tribute by yes tenacious d by tenacious d then you were You'll recognise these things, but if you're under the age of 482, you have no fucking idea what these things are for. Jesus Christ, I've never seen one in real life. No, no. I think my favourite part about this is when Homer drives into Spital County, there's a hillbilly just playing a banjo, and then when they get to this record store to record, he's the person in the queue behind them. Oh my God, I didn't notice that, that was so good.
00:27:28
Speaker
um gets to CD and a local radio DJ just happens to be around and asks if he can play the song. Oh no, it's in Homer's court because it's his 25 cents and Homer takes an odd amount of time to think about this before finally allowing it. Well, he wanted the CD. They went to record it so Homer could have the CD and it it immediately gone, ah can can we give the CD away to someone? There's an art to a good long pause and I think Simpsons nails it every now and then. with Yeah, it's just like, it's your quarter, what do you think? And he's just he's just there and you're like on the edge of your seat for some stupid reason. So invested in whatever Homer's about to say.
00:28:04
Speaker
And he said, no, okay. Yeah, I guess so. So we're at the radio station CUD, because everything needs to... Don't touch that door, you got CUD on it. Oh, because CUD, because they chew CUD and you... Conversations are called chewing the CUD. Oh my god, that's so clever.
00:28:25
Speaker
Sorry, I just got the job. Matt is almost as touched as much as Moe was, as Moe is crying, is ballasting to the lead song. And he says that beer is now free for for the next half hour. Unfortunately, no one's in the bar apart from Bonnie, who comes in too late to hear it as Moe pretends he didn't say it. So i have I have a question for you guys. the fuck does Barney do for a living cuz he makes money you clearly is he gives romantic horse carriages I guess he's I don't know if he's an he's a reference to it
00:28:59
Speaker
but he reminds me a lot of the character by John Candy in Uncle Buck, who is just, he just gambles, does odd jobs,
Lurleen's Popularity & Homer-Marge Dynamics
00:29:10
Speaker
occasionally works, that kind of thing. yeah the I don't, cause they're very similar looking as well, like Michael's clearly seen the film, they they've got a similar look to them, haven't they? Barney and John Candy, that's weird. Yeah, I've been the same sort of a character going, Barney looks slightly more drunk than John Candy ever did. Yeah, I was gonna say, it but Barney is definitely like, if John Candy really went off the deep end, but what else? We also see that Rusty is beating the hell outside your mouth for trying to date his sister but the song soothes his nerves and he gives him 50 bucks to take him out to the club. We also see that a prison riot is taking place at the same time and the song quells all the things as Snake says it really puts that prison riot into perspective.
00:29:53
Speaker
We then come to the Simpson family listening to the song and Bart is upset because it's taking time away from Radio D, shock Radio DJ Jockeys. yeah I got the words out eventually. Throughout this whole episode I feel like they really struggled to give Bart something to be involved with. Yeah, it's not a Bart episode. it's And it's but that's the thing. Yeah, it's like they seem quite comfortable sometimes with just letting Lisa occasionally say something and be present in the scenes. You know, she's doing something. But they're like, no, you have to laugh at something by is doing by is doing something funny. He's saying something by it and it's like, no, you can just not be there. It's fine. He really does. None of the bar bits throughout this entire episode were funny.
00:30:36
Speaker
the end of the day sort of early early days in the of the simpson's success in popularity but we're selling a lot of merch so you kind of yeah i guess it's possible to shoehorn him in didn't you guys remember Bart still exists kind of thing Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm M ah god That was good. Alma then takes a phone call from Laleen and says he can come over straight away. He just needs to check with Marge and Marge is not okay with it but Alma blissfully just goes on with it anyway.
00:31:16
Speaker
Marches are great grimmons. We then see that Alma visits Laleen at the trailer park, and it's now been two days since the blast's still native. Might as well gag there. And Laleen starts going up, all the entire family is called. Mama, Papa, the triplets. Vonda May, Piney Joe. Piney Joe. I wonder who he's pining after. Probably Vonda May. Maybe. It's quite an impressive, uh, stereotype for egg neck. Necking going on there. yeah really They really do push the redneck vibe here. Yeah, but it gets worse later on. Lilian asks Homer to become a manager and Homer starts going through many compelling reasons why he shouldn't be. I'm terrible with numbers. I did bad in school and i I'm prone to making rash decisions or something like that. But Lilian is insistent and takes Homer to buy a new suit. At the Copulent Cowboy!
00:32:11
Speaker
Yep. Good job. What an aim. It's a suit made out of an interesting material where sweat actually cleans the suit. Yeah, made specifically for Elvis. It's a big dream, isn't it? We then see that Homer comes back to his house at way past 12 and Marge is not looking at him in anger and makes it clear that she wants Homer to stop having anything to do with Laleem. Homer, she officially says she probably shouldn't book at him as she sees Homer in his Colonel Homer outfit and asks, who bought it for him? Homer lies and says Lenny bought it. I think it was Lenny. I think it makes it that much funnier. I was like, who bought it for you? I think it was Lenny.
00:32:51
Speaker
Marge and Homer start having an argument that Homer's upset that Marge is trying to take away his dream of being a country singer manager Marge points out his dream was actually to eat the world's largest hoagie and we get photographic evidence which he did last year at the county fair he always did it last year and think is the user so I think this is the first of like a very much recurring gag of Homer's lifelong dream was to do X here's the but you already did that Oh, well, eventually, Archie Benches tells Homer that she doesn't care what he does, and Homer walks out and we see that Marge does actually care and is quite upset under the covers. Yes. This is revenge for Jack, you bitch.
00:33:27
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Like, we we talked about this during the jock episode, but Marge does way worse! Yeah. We then cut to a recording studio and the guy is selling the virtue of this studio by saying, pretty Holly once stepped into it and said he refused. Yeah, they liked that, that was good. And the homo hands over a word of cash to the man, and Marge asks how much that was. Homo just says, no, it's all life-saving. what is the book that has a forward by someone like they they they emailed them and said can we have a forward for your book and they rep replied back saying you want a a forward are you fucking insane so they put that on the book i can't remember who that was but i remember seeing that and just finding it's so fucking funny it sounds familiar but i don't know i don't exactly what you don't ask you don't get yeah absolutely lalina arrives and gives help her a kiss on the cheek and uh
00:34:20
Speaker
And she introduces herself to Marge, and Marge is not happy. Marge then asks her Homer that he said that she was overweight, and Homer then gives a great life lesson of, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen. The carding begins, and we get some interesting moments of this baseball-themed Baguio Homer song, the subtlety. Yeah, absolutely, man. The subtlety in this is non-existent. but completely lost on Homo. Completely lost on him. Homo's happy, Bart is doing stuff in the background so we know he's there. yeah Guys, Bart is present, guys, guys, Bart, Bart!
00:35:02
Speaker
This is another one of those things where they also took a field trip to go and see an actual recording studio so they could make it look right. That's cool! Did that recording studio have a floating cigarette? I don't know about that. What was the floating cigarette? It's in two frames, you know, the entire band is smoking. There's just a little scene where they cut, and the cigarette is nowhere near the guy's mouth. It's just... Oh, interesting. Oh, I didn't catch that. It just made me laugh. Fortunately, they've got to stop the recording on the Bagmere Homer line, as there's a weird grinding. You seem to be the only person that's noticed this, by the way, because I just googled it, and no one's talking about it, so good job, Michael. Interesting. I'll try to get a screenshot of it for later.
00:35:45
Speaker
But the grinding noises are, and we just see it's Marge gnashing her teeth. Yee. That little Marge is not happy. I wonder why. Is it because her mirror has been brought up to her face and she has seen the face of evil? I don't know where that came from. We don't see that Lene is becoming a massive star, including getting her own bench, which almost kicking pensioners off. Yeah, that was funny. Off the bench. The kids have a little racket going on where they're just signing the autographs and kissing the album themselves. I thought this was weird, just very cute. I don't know why. like I know it went just like a ah just a silly bit and a commentary on you know most of the things you get that are signed by so-and-so and never signed by so-and-so. But just a little maggie with the with the record, give a big old smooch. I thought that's just too cute. I hate it. It's too cute, guys.
00:36:38
Speaker
Speaking of signed things, a weird trend I've only noticed in like literally the past few months is how many books these days just get published with literally a page in the front that's got a space for the author to sign it, which means they must be printing specific editions with a signed by the author version of it, which is just weird and I guess Another blank page at the start of a book is a printing thing, if I remember correctly. No, it's not a blank page, it literally says signed by, and then the author writes their name underneath it. It's a signed page, yeah. Ah, weird. Homer reveals to Laleen that he's got a gig on television now, and they need some new material. And Laleen responds by singing Homer a song called Bunk with me tonight.
00:37:24
Speaker
which As Helmer patiently listens to this and afterwards says that that was so hot and no man could resist it and immediately gets up to leave. Lilian practically has to spell it out to him through song and then Homer finally does get the hints that Lilian wants to bang him. But Homer makes a hasty getaway from the trailer. And we cut to our next scene. I've not missed anything there, have I? No. I think you're just surprised at how much we're zooming through this fucking episode. Marge is explaining to Selma that all that money is tied up in Laleen, so she can't bail, but if she does succeed, she's gonna lose her husband. And Selma is not particularly sympathetic. Yeah, she's like, what's the downside here?
00:38:08
Speaker
And then runs upstairs and doesn't stop to talk to Marge as he's putting on his Colonel Homer suit. And Marge brings the kids all in their finest gear to remind Homer that he does have a family and each should remember that. Look, so, okay, I'm gonna have a little rant here about dealing with problems in a relationship. Look, I get that it's for the bit and I get that it's a TV show and stuff like this, but guys, seriously, if you have a problem, if you suspect someone is being... um What's the word? that's fucking cheating on you or just anything you have a problem fucking talk about it don't bring your kids in in their finest sunday best and be like here have some emotional blackmail don't fucking do that fucking grow up okay ran over carry on
00:38:53
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, to add on to that, I mean, I think we've had two-ish infidelity episodes already back in season one. Been a while since we've visited the topic, but this is almost not an infidelity episode as much as it is specifically just a jealousy episode. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, you could really... Because again, remember, this is the fucking Simpsons. But, if if someone was a crazy person, they really could analyze the way that the different, the Jacques episode and this episode are written. compare Comparatively. Because, but again, Marge does a lot fucking worse.
00:39:33
Speaker
And Homer, because i I remember bringing it up when we recorded it all them years ago, Homer actively talks about it. Fucking Homer is the one that actively like brings it up and tries to be a better person and tries to be better. You know? Whereas in all of this, all Marge does is complain to everyone but Homer and emotionally blackmail him. It's fucking wild! I mean, I feel like she has complained to Homer plenty of times and he's sort of dismissed it as ah a little irrational or just something that he's not going to consider because he wants to do this. He wants to be Lurleen's manager. like he's I don't know. the the any Any issues of jealousy? It's just Homer being Homer and charmingly ignorant, just blissfully unaware and just going through life being Homer.
00:40:29
Speaker
I think most of it is that Homer doesn't realise that Lilian liked him that way until it's spelled out to him in the trailer. Homer doesn't see that being a problem. Yeah, like even even when it's like, oh, I just spent the afternoon watching her try on outfits. like He did not think anything of that. It's not like, oh, he was watching her try on outfits. It's like, no, yeah she she she needs to... and we we need to get We need to get her performance sorted. like She's going performing. when it's It's just a job. Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah, is it Again, like I said, it's it's important to keep in mind that this is The Fucking Simpsons. It's not meant to be an analysis of relationship dynamics. As Homer leaves, Bart makes up his one good line of the show, which is, as much as he hates that man, he looks good in that suit. No, this isn't a good line! Why does Bart hate him? Bart has no fucking clue what's going on! This makes no fucking sense!
00:41:22
Speaker
ah hate that line genuinely it is the dumbest fucking line in simpson's history i meanwhile yeah fair i yeah watching in this moment does barrt hit homopho What in that moment does Bart hit home for? Fucking nothing. He's breaking up the family. does seem to that He There is no fucking way he knows that! Why do you think they've been put in the suits? He must know that. The kids have not been heavily involved in the episode, so we don't really get much sense of what they do or don't know about what's going on, but surely they must expect something when Marge has got them dressed up in their, like, church gear.
00:42:03
Speaker
That's the thing, if Lisa said it, I'd have had no problem with it. Yeah. Because it would make sense that Lisa would understand. Yeah, but Lisa's got no fashion appreciation. No, that's also true. Yeah, it would have been weird if Lisa said it because why would Lisa fucking care about a cowboy outfit? And Bart's not his line quota. hes We've got to get it in. But that's the thing is it just feels like we need Bart to say something here. It makes no sense. Again, Simpsons is not deep. Don't fucking make it deep, Matt. So.
00:42:35
Speaker
Let's move on. My rage is over. If we don't make it deep, we don't have a podcast. so This is very true. If Lisa had said it, it would have been fine. But they but it just makes no sense. The bot said it. Yeah, I agree that the line doesn't make much sense. I think the line is mostly there just to go... That suit's fucking great though, isn't it? It is a great suit. I admit, I'd love a white a white cowboy suit. I don't think I'd be able to keep it clean, but... They sell us all that as much. They made a like a Colonel Homer figure at some point. Amazing. yeah Yeah. We then see the TV special begins of Yahoo, which is what Leline is on.
00:43:15
Speaker
It's a parody of an actual thing. It is. It is a parody of Yee Ha, which was a ah country western show back in the 70s, I believe. Yup. Something of a sort. And we see some of the acts, and I'm pretty certain Big Shirtless Ron was probably the best of them. I think my favourite gag of it is that Yodeling Zeke sits on the billy. but My my the bit I quite liked was they said starring in alphabetical order and then started with Zeke And the final one which was the Jughead recovering alcoholics as I could yep, we didn't see that Lelene is singing and a agent tries to buy Lelene's contract, but Homer's not having it with his argument being it just because I'm wearing the suit doesn't mean I'm a big dumb army guy and
00:44:06
Speaker
yeah yeah okay there's a joke there i guess humr then asksal if she needs anything in her dressing room and loen quickly locks the door and finally gets a kiss off oh I like that, like, Lelene's got some fucking stones here because Homer, the night before, or however long ago it was, said, I need to think about this. Lelene's like, no, I won't wait for a fucking answer. Bang me right now in this changing room. Fucking do it. As Lelene asks Homer what's wrong, Homer then reveals that his entire romantic life is flashing in front of his eyes, which he includes being slapped in Kiss the Bottle, being...
Resolution of 'Colonel Homer' Episode
00:44:43
Speaker
stood up on a date in high school, being slapped as he tries to pay for a kiss and doesn't even get his dollar back. And then we see that Homer finally kisses Marge. And then, yeah, Marge. And we transition back to Homer kissing Laleen, and Homer breaks it off and finally reveals that all he really wanted to do was share Laleen's voice of the world. And he's done that. As Homer leaves, he has to go back just to ask if she would have gone all the way with him, and Laleen assures him of the positive. Homer, like me, is disappointed in this ton of events, but leaves anyway. Alright, Michael.
00:45:14
Speaker
I wanted Homer to get some. He does! here up this name It's not the same if it's in a loving marriage! It's not the same! We then see Homer talk to the agent and he talked to before and he starts his negotiations off with he's desperate and he'll accept anything. Yeah, he's not a good businessman. The guy offers Homer 50 bucks and Homer supplies an imp before accepting. Yep, so either the Simpsons life savings was $50 or they're kind of fucked. They literally just lost hit or lost their life savings. yes so yeah Once again, we get another example of why Homer's fucking exorbitant salary. Actually, I won't say exorbitant because I do want people that man nuclear power plants to be paid well. Homer's high salary, we now understand where it fucking goes.
00:46:08
Speaker
yeah on the on terrible decisions yes on on leline that's where i went that's where i fucking went man we didn't cut to uh march watching the special and which includes um a i don't even know what the hell to call this hillbilly thing where the guy gets hit with the uh fence Is this not more of the Geehar or whatever it is? It's more of the Geehar, but I don't know how to describe the comedy of what we were seeing before. it It's puns and slapstick is mostly, it yes. I think it's just a reference to sort of the old school Laurel and Hardy kind of humour, you know? Yeah. Simple jokes and then someone falls over. Nothing wrong with it.
00:46:46
Speaker
As learning begins to sing again, we see that Homer arrives back into the bedroom and asks more- Homer fucking drove! Yeah, he's got a good car. Yeah, he's like, I'm gonna go fuck my wife, fuck the speed limit. As we'll find later, the Simpson-mobile. They said... and So Homer asks if there's any room in the bed for a goddamn fool, and Marge replies that there always has been. Aline starts singing her song Stand By Your Manager, in which basically she reveals that she tried to come on to Homer, which Marge is disapproving of, but then she then reveals that Homer ran away, and Aline basically ends it by saying that she hopes. Marge knows how lucky she is, which Marge confirms in the affirmative, as Homer gets nice and naked.
00:47:29
Speaker
and banging commences as the cowboy hat flies. This was the most awkward scene of anything ever. As the cowboy hat flies towards us, gleaming hustles. But, I know for a fact, there's some people out there fucking loving it. My hand is in an awkward position as we speak. might Michael, you're bringing the sauce tonight. Michael! This is what happens when I don't drink on this podcast, baby. Michael, I can't show my grandparents this podcast now. It needs the alcohol to keep them in check.
00:48:07
Speaker
The views of this podcast host are solely his own. Michael bringing the sauce tonight. um Guys, I'm bringing the next podcast we're doing, which is just me and Michael reviewing porn. It's gonna be great.
00:48:20
Speaker
Michael, heavens to Betsy. The fuck does that phrase mean, guys? I don't know. Seriously, guys, this scene was awkward, right? Yeah. This scene was awkward, right? gary it's um Yeah, well, it feels like we're seeing things that we probably shouldn't see. Like, as soon as you said this is the first episode that Matt Grenning wrote himself, let's hope there's not many of those after this. Jesus fucking Christ, my Grenning. Why were you so obsessed with the detailed viewing of Homer and Marge getting ready to bone down? Well, I like this episode a lot. I would like to see more Matt Grenning episodes, but I guess we never will.
00:49:05
Speaker
This episode was, and I cannot put this any finer, perfectly fine. Interesting, interesting. Okay, I thought this was absolutely great. Yeah. I'm in the middle between the two of you. It's not the greatest episode of the scene, but those you i'm saying i don't think you but i do i do I do appreciate it. I don't think it is a good episode overall. Well, that's the i wrote I wrote for my like final notes that um this episode is like a classic Simpsons episode that stays in your head. But I'm not actually sure why. Because there's not a lot of jokes. It's that Colonel Homer outfit. He looks great in that suit. ah Yeah, I mean, there's some amazing country music. but i And I truly cannot imagine them ever doing an episode like this in Modern Simpsons. Because this was an actual family drama.
00:49:53
Speaker
more than it was an episode of simpson they were a copal job but like till we get to mindy simmons in later season it just oh that one is an infidelity thing though It just was, it it's just a weird episode of Simpsons. Like again, when I saw that it was Colonel Homer, like when I loaded them up today, I was like, oh, brilliant. I love Colonel Homer. I don't remember why. Because this episode is perfectly serviceable. It is a very well regarded, very well liked, as you say, a classic episode. It's one that's, yeah, you think of like all time top Simpsons episode is one that a lot of people are going to reach for. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's fair.
00:50:34
Speaker
I don't feel like I ever, and for whatever reason, in my youth and Simpsons watching, I don't think I ever saw this episode a lot, so like a lot of this was pretty fresh so and to me. The songs were on that one weird Simpsons album, they did that one time, so those scenes are extremely familiar to me, in spite of the fact that I didn't have much context for all the like dialogue over the top of the songs, but I knew the songs inside out. Yeah, songs are great. yeah yeah ah They're fantastic. Love the songs. Michael, final thoughts? Yeah, it's so great great for the music. There's a couple there's a couple of jokes that hit. Overall, it's just a very good episode, I think. Yeah. All right, should we jump into Out of Homers? Let's do some scores. I'll jump straight in with mine, because again, I feel like
00:51:23
Speaker
Apparently I'm the one that viewed this in the the lesser, but I gave it a corpulent cowboy out of Homer No, it's not the right fit and it's unexpected But still endearing in its own way because like I said, I did like this episode I would not say I dislike this episode. It's just weird like it really is that for me checking off the list of things that a sitcom needs to do at some point which is have a really serious episode whether the main character or the dad can actually like take stock of his life and possibly cheats on his wife it just didn't really feel Simpsons I guess interesting okay I'm gonna give it free yodeling Zeke's out of them
00:52:09
Speaker
No, I'm gonna ask for an elaboration here. I'm using my my my very rare Michael, please fucking elaborate card. I liked to see it, I was curious about it, and I admired its determination in never giving up in its delivery. Do you know what? No, he's fucking nailed it, guys. He's fucking nailed it. He's fucking nailed it. Well done. Eleventy has hit my brain. Murica, what are you doing? I thought it was a smash hit record out of Homer. Hey, absolute banger. So still not a Homer? No, no, no, no, Homer. I'm not gonna, I'm not, no, I'm definitely not putting it in my like, again, I've got a, I've got a pretty solid idea of what I think my all time top ones are and it's not up there. This is very highly random. You've given the least, no, you've given the second least, because I think Michael's only given one Homer.
00:52:57
Speaker
I've given who two. I've given two. I've gave one to Michael Jackson and I gave one to the baseball one. I think I've given three. so There are a couple more. I will be a bit more liberal in some of the later ones where I do feel it is that good. That's the thing. I'm trying to do the opposite. I'm trying to be less liberal with them because I feel like I gave them out every other week. but so now like Nah, you got to really earn your Homer. We've got we've got what 30 something seasons of this shit.
00:53:30
Speaker
ah Don't worry, I feel like once we get past season 10, the number of Homer out of Homer's might start dipping. just I genuinely feel like once we get to a certain point in in in Simpsons, we will be doing three episodes a shot. Maybe, maybe. It is a big possibility. But yeah, no, I mean, I i thought, yeah, I thought it has some really good, big laughs. It got some great cackles out of me and the songs were just very, very endearing. I i'd love this episode to run through. But yeah, I just wouldn't quite put it right at the lofty stratospheric echelons of a Homer out of Homer.
00:54:11
Speaker
What was the critic's of view on this one? nate myers gave it five out of five because he fucking did which most again most people did like if you look at the reviews of it like everybody fucking loves this episode frankly i that's i would love to get a lot of the people that do rate this episode really highly and have them watch it now and see if it because i ah i feel very strongly that a lot of simpsons top top episode lists are based purely on nostalgia and that's like yeah but if you watch it now after watching 30 years now at this point of more sitcoms and other comedies would you still find these things as funny maybe that's me being a grumpy grumpy grouch that just wants to ruin everyone's fucking childhoods but
00:54:56
Speaker
this episode's Fine guys come on five out of five bowl. I mean if you're going to simplify it to your basic numbers like that It's gonna be up there But we're obviously more nuanced numbers, you know yeah play and we beyond the need for numbers Did anyone have anything to say to say about what it says about society I can talk well good guys
00:55:23
Speaker
There was an interesting discussion on it that I found on Reddit while searching for it which about the nature of infidelity and that it, that, not even necessarily infidelity, just again, jealousy more than infidelity in that it's not always rational. Like, absolutely maybe as ever, as with all of these infidelity area episodes, like much of it could have been resolved by, you know, talking to each other. But ultimately, like, Marge is getting upset about something that's not happening. Homer is literally just having a successful career and could have made the family rich and famous. Someone rightly pointed out that, uh, Lerline's music recording involved Lisa playing on the saxophone at one point. She could have kick-started Lisa's musical career as well.
00:56:09
Speaker
Yeah, but everything has to reset to zero at the eight at the end of the 30 minutes. Of course, yeah yeah. Yeah, that's the other thing as well. I think the thing I, that you know, I genuinely didn't really even over analyze the the infidelity thing on that level of it. Maybe I should have. But um the thing I noticed was that there's an argument to me that the whole the the point of the episode is that, you know, women won't be taken seriously until a man gets involved. cos Lelene is insanely talented. You know, that that's that's a fact. And all Homer did is take her to a recording booth. Yeah. From from then on, Homer does nothing.
00:56:47
Speaker
You know, so he gives his life savings to that guy. What do you want? Yeah, he gives money. he He puts money into it, I guess. But yeah, it's like. Lirling should have already been famous, I guess, as well as a huge fan of country music. There's the the idea that country music is from the lower class of people that no one wants to associate with until they're big and famous. Come on, you can't say that big shirtless run is in an international store. we No I mean that's the thing is they make a lot of like hillbilly jokes and they make a lot of um you know the people that actually sing country music are fucking idiots and again lower class people but as soon as they start singing all the nice pretty songs it's like yay dance monkey dance and I think there is you know something to be said there. The biggest pop star in the world Taylor Swift started it as a country singer.
00:57:35
Speaker
I fucking wish she still sang with her country twang. I love her older songs where she sings with her twang. It's great. I was literally talking about this earlier today with my missus, who is a huge swifty. I'm not getting into a fight with the swifties. Taylor's great. Taylor's great. Please don't cancel me. Please don't cancel the podcast. Next episode. Black Widow, it's a side show Bob-on.
00:58:02
Speaker
ah April 9th, 1992. What happened on this day? Well, John Major was elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. After a Conservative Party win. That's topical, isn't it? but With the most votes in British electoral history, which I look forward to this episode going out on the day that the Conservatives get the least votes in British electoral history. Yeah. No, it's not gonna, it's not gonna take me six weeks to edit this, don't worry. Nah, people will be voting for that national service.
00:58:35
Speaker
Uh, UK's number one is, say, the best for last. You may have got some deja vu, and even more deja vu over Shakespeare's Sister's Day, which is the UK. Still hurt. I have nothing else for you news-wise. There was the Panamanian dictator was found guilty of drug racketeering. Oh, that's not mine. Oh, okay. So let's do the the chalkboard gag, which is funny noises. I'm not funny. i look I don't want to. I know I already rag on the chalkboard gags. This is genuinely the lowest effort chalkboard gag ever. Yeah, not a great deal of forward to this one.
00:59:13
Speaker
Oh, man. We had a lot of reasonably unfunny ones. I've not exactly been ranking them. Not just about it being unfunny. It's low effort. they came up with this went yep and fucking ran with it that's it they didn't think they didn't check it with whoever wrote this one didn't look to a single other person went do you think this is funny they just went no this is great and plopped it on there i hope they're dead is what i'm saying of both bit i think he might actually be dead so that's a bit hard good the couch gag is the couch is being stolen and the family get knocked off it
00:59:48
Speaker
I liked this one. It was good. I don't think we've heard that one. No, that's new. Just seen in Flaming Moes. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. No, wait. That seemed so... I was so surprised by that one. Bloody hell. All right, then. Weird detail that they particularly appreciate just the absolute nonsensical of. Burglar 1 and Burglar 2 have their own Simpsons Wiki pages. Oh, that sounds fantastic. Sick!
01:00:15
Speaker
Good for you the lads you've made. Guys, got Simpsons fans.
01:00:22
Speaker
It's summertime. There's horses that you can go look at. There's like, go talk to a woman. Seriously, what the fuck you doing? Go ahead and Wikipedia page is for Estonian dwarf. I just... not got... Guys, look, they... Go touch grass! Go touch grass! Speaking of touching grass, this is a terrible segue. No. Dinosaurs! Dinosaurs may have eaten grass back in the day and, uh, this is what the Simpsons are watching as they... No, they didn't. Grass was... cat grass didn't exist back then, but I like the segue. What? I tried. No, when did grass evolve? Uh, I think after... either during or after the Cretaceous period.
01:01:09
Speaker
ah diamond But I actually fucking loved this sitcom as a kid. Did anyone else watch Dinosaurs? What a great fucking show! Everyone dies! What a fucking ending, man! Apparently this entire bit was put in because the writers thought that dinosaurs was kind steal of off of The Simpsons. Oh fuck off. They were not subtle in that, were they? Fuck me. No one puts that much effort into a rip off.
01:01:50
Speaker
guys if you're watching simpsons on disney plus dinosaurs is also all on disney plus go watch all of dinosaurs it is amazing if you then go watch it and go yeah this is a rip off of the simpsons go fuck yourself you uncultured swine mostly we guys just get the rehash of the arrogance the act sorry i'll stop The babies are doing the classic thing of hitting the dad with the frying pan with several points out that, hey, this bad family's got a baby like like you. So I'm guessing it's the rip-off bit. In our house, that that the baby's voice is the voice of our dog. Like, whenever whenever Lucy goes anywhere and Gordie follows her, I'm just there like, Mama! Mama, I love you! Mama! The whole time. That's how we see Gordie as the baby from dinosaurs.
01:02:45
Speaker
We don't get the line. It's like they saw our lives and put it right up on the screen. Yeah, I think it's not just the baby though. I think it's just the whole fact that like the entire family dynamic is you still got like two parents, oldest son, middle daughter, and then youngest baby as well. so kind It is the Simpsons. Hey guys character. That's called a sitcom dynamic. no that None of the characters in Dinosaurs act in any way like the Simpsons characters if you'd fucking watched the show you'd know I'm honest. I don't know they've got the same hairstyles
01:03:23
Speaker
We don't see that Marge and Patty come in to reveal news of what Selma's boyfriend is, and it's disturbing information. This leads us to imagination scenes, as Lisa imagines the new man being some sort of... Like a bag on his head? The elephant man is what that's supposed to be. Is that what it's supposed to be? Jesus! I believe so, yes. or imagines basically the floating heads from future rob one of the things i just realized as well with patty coming in and telling stuff about selma's boyfriend with the way the dialogue is written does anyone else think that they deliberately made patty and selma twins so that in those situations you're like wait i thought that was selma
01:04:01
Speaker
Because they they lampshade the twins and not knowing which ones which later as well anyway cuz cuz Marge comes in and she's like we need to tell you some stuff about Selma's new boyfriend before he arrives and Then patty starts talking and I'm like, okay, so So Selma's telling us about her new boyfriend. No, that's patty telling us about Selma's new boyfriend And it just yeah my brain just did a little discombobulation Bart's fantasy is that Selma is dating Homer, which got a lot of fun. Yeah, it's just... party then finally reveals that a due to Selma's crazy obsession about not dying alone, she joined the prison penpal service. I just want to point out as well, I just thought as well, I'm fairly certain Homer would sooner throw himself down Springfield Gorge again than date either party or Selma. Just want to throw that out there. Yeah, pretty comfortable. And, you know, just want to point out, same.
01:04:56
Speaker
But Bart's excited about this reservation because he thinks the jailbird might be able to teach him to kill someone with a lunch tray. But it's revealed that this is an ex-con and the door finally opens and we see that there's a little bit where Marge is scolding the family saying that he's paid his debt to society and fighting them is why Marge isn't using the good silverware. Just not. Yeah, I like that subtle, just that subtle big, yeah, of like, because there's a lot of political jokes in this episode for warning. But yeah, it's that joke of not necessarily republicans, but you know, liberals or whatever. And I want to point out, listeners, before you all start thinking, oh, yeah, Matt's on our side. No, fuck you. I am a liberal.
01:05:38
Speaker
I'm making a joke about myself that all of us out there will be like, oh, yeah, I'll trust an ex-con. You know, they're great. And, you know, I think, you know, they've they've been in prison. They've they've paid their debt, whatever. It's like, oh, cool. My cousin, the ex-con, wouldn't, you know, needs a he's available to babysit your child. No, I'm good. I like that joke. It's subtle. It's fun. It's dumb. Continue. And so my boyfriend and my boyfriend, it's side job.
01:06:08
Speaker
I dunno why I made that noise. so kids are suitably terrified as bob reveals to someone that bars the reason why he was in jail but sure selmer apparently did not know Why would Selma- Selma doesn't give a fuck about her niece and nephew. it was on the news Yeah, Selma doesn't give a fuck about her niece and nephew. We then cut to the dinner scene and as Homer mentions that if someone had snitched to put him in jail he would have come straight to his house and stabbed him. And Homer demonstrates this using the turkey knife. I love the way they use Homer for those moments. because
01:06:44
Speaker
no dad would ever fucking say that but yeah it's just homo they're like we need someone to say something to make Bart feel uncomfortable. Homer's an idiot so they get homo to do it. Bart is suitably uncomfortable as uh side your pop says that homo's be getting the first two noble troops of the butter and homo's so sponsored I am not. I've got to say like upfront like this episode was not as good as I remembered or hoped it was going to be, but that one definitely got a good laugh out of me. It's so, like, that is just Pete Simpson's. Yeah. Someone says something intelligent. Homer says something dumb. Laughs ensue. You see, it's the delivery as well. Yeah, absolutely. Homer just confidently trying to blush. I'm not. Oh, I am not. It's so good.
01:07:36
Speaker
Bob starts telling his story and we see a little flashback of Bob collecting trash on the road and i being annoyed at seeing Christie's image on it all. Unfortunately, at that moment, Christie's her driving down in his limo drinking a mug shake, which the monkey throws out and hits the Bob in the face. What's the monkey's name? Mr. Teeny. Mr. Teeny! Thank you. We don't see that Bob is at the Emmys and and is about to accept his award. And he beats a vacuum cleaner as a giant Pinto cat. Droopy draws Colonel Coward, Pepito, the biggest cat in the whole wide world and suck up the vacuum or his competition. And I fucking love Pepito, the biggest cat in the whole wide world. I would watch that show. just but butpito Justice for Justice for Pepito.
01:08:21
Speaker
As Bob gets his award and tells Kristy there's more I mean than Kristy or Wynn and Kristy tells him not to drop it in the shower. This leads to increasing escalation where Bob is taken out by the guards and suitably drugged as Kristy. Can I just take a little like I'm not gonna take a full-on soapbox here because I know I know yeah The Simpsons podcast can often become Matt's little place to rant but have you noticed how we're all really comfortable about making anal rape jokes around about men? Like, isn't this something we should kind of stop? Yeah, it's not great. It's a prison thing, really, though, isn't it? As everyone's saying, the attitude is, and I guess we will get into how we talk about prisons and how we approach prisons more in this episode because it is very much a theme of the episode. But, like, societally, it seems to be like, oh, you're in prison, it's a punishment, so it doesn't matter if you get raped. But therefore you deserve to be raped. Yeah, exactly, yeah.
01:09:19
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it's it's a weird because that's the thing is you don't... Honestly, I think if... This is gonna sound weird, so just bear with me. But if you if you went to someone and said, hey, think of an anal rape joke, they wouldn't think the don't drop the soap joke because it is used so innocuously that you you disassociate the actual meaning. of the joke. You know what I mean? And I think we just need to get to that point of being like, hey, let's not make that joke anymore.
01:09:54
Speaker
because, gotta be honest, I don't find it that funny anymore. Yeah, I feel like we have kind of got to a point where people have had that discussion and we don't make that joke anymore, but this is 1992. Yeah, it's been a while since I've heard that joke. Yeah, admittedly, it's been a while. This is an early 90s show. But I'm fairly certain it's been made in what would be considered modern sitcoms. Like, there's definitely similar jokes in Friends, as an example. That's not even modern, though. No, fuck off. Don't make me feel that old. We're almost at the season of Simpsons where I'm alive. When did Friends end? 2004. 20 years ago. <unk> want to feel old Culture died after 9-11, man.
01:10:40
Speaker
It's certainly dead. As Bob asks aloud, do you know what prison is like for a lifelong conservative republic? We don't see that Bob is in his overcrowded prison cell. His lip balm is being used. Oh, I don't know why, but this fucking got me. This fucking. Who used my chapstick? Oh, I did. Here you go. I don't want it. Oh, it's just Kelsey Grammer. It's all Kelsey Grammer. Holy fuck is his delivery just fucking perfect. Yeah. Holy crap, man.
01:11:13
Speaker
We don't also see Bob making your license plates which you all just Does this mean that there's a bunch of cars out there with just death to Bart license plates? Assumedly so, yes. What a haunting visage. It's like, um, has anyone seen the license plate that had something to do with Elijah Wood and then Elijah Wood actually saw it? It's so good hold on Elijah would license plate. There's an it's a great series of Yeah, someone had a license plate that said for Frodo as in the number four and then Frodo and Elijah would actually fucking took a picture a picture of it and was like Yo, what?
01:11:56
Speaker
but I just think it's great. That's a character, it's not Elijah Wood specifically though. Oh my fucking god, I'm so fucking sorry. what Hey Matt, don't share your interesting anecdotes or thoughts and themes, let's just go fuck yourself and shove this up your ass. I thought the way you delivered it, you made it sound like the license plate said Elijah Wood or something. Alright, alright John, what's Elijah Wood most known for? uh being a successful actor in many diverse roles i fucking hate you let's talk about this part is suitably shocked to learn his revelation and uh pop's response to this is if he wanted to kill him he would have choked him like a chicken the moment he'd walked in but what kind of guest would he have been and everyone is up rough again is suitably amused by this that got me that got me again it kelsey grammer's delivery is great i think it's a great line
01:12:50
Speaker
Again, I think it's as much as I want to give all the credit to The Simpsons, I think this is another like popular sitcom-y kind of bit. Maybe it was invented by The Simpsons? I don't know. I'd have to like go back into 70s and 80s sitcoms. like I'd have to go watch The Golden Girls and stuff. But I'm fairly certain older sitcoms have done this bit of, no one understands that this guy is dodgy except for me. kind of thing i think is a pretty common oh yeah like theme right i mean i mean it's been done in fiction before but i feel like more in sitcoms but either way it's a good it's always like the uh charming new boyfriend isn't it absolutely yeah one character realizes there's something off wrong with it meanwhile bob is getting his emmy taken off him because they're not allowed in prison not even a golden glow awards for excellence in entertainment are contraband it's a very specific wo rule for that
01:13:42
Speaker
Admittedly, I don't think I'd want my Emmy in prison with me. know like now I don't think you can really put it up on the show it's worth money man just put it in my put it in my personal effects and he does get it back when he gets out yeah that is true I id like just like the implication that any other award is fine it's only the awards that are for excellence in entertainment this is true having those your golfing trophy absolutely have it keep it that's fine
01:14:13
Speaker
Yeah, because who gives a fuck about golf? Am I right, guys? Wayyyy. Man, I must have drank this really fast. Several members of my family have just disowned you. I haven't eaten to today. I get it now. That'll do it.
Bob's Storyline in 'Black Widower'
01:14:27
Speaker
No, I had a pack of fig rolls. Simpsons. Ok, so Bob receives his first letter from Soma, and Soma's first line is that I've not been able to find a man along the wall riding. She's got a slight chuckle out of me, and she's included a photo of both her and Patty, but she's forgotten which one she is. She forgot which one was, uh, Jesus. Who took that picture?
01:14:47
Speaker
Good question. They were on a bike, man. What the hell? Also, there's a line that I've just spotted on Frinky Act that I don't think I picked up in the episode. And I guess it's probably because I was distracted by the bike. But um I have I have a steady job in a lucrative hobby filing new filing new lawsuits. Yeah, I like that line. It was good. ah There's also a little visual gag ah while he's reading the letter. You see the other convicts in his cell passing the chapstick around. Yeah, that was good. ah brus bo's letter with ah mentioning that she's opened no security gate in the maximum security prison that is his heart writing it like
01:15:21
Speaker
at a proper fancy victorian google writing desk with a well
01:15:30
Speaker
The man had the chapstick. He's a very cultured man.
01:15:39
Speaker
We say that I love his blooming, including Bob asking to kiss some of you with a glass, but he's going to do it to a very enlarged cheek. On the cheek! This pretty much inspires Bob to become the perfect prison inmate. He's cooking turkey dinners for the holidays, he's playing make-out music so people can have sex. It's all wonderful. I'm not surprised that Sideshow Bob can play the violin. Yeah, no, that checks out. If Kelsey Grammer was like, yeah, I learned how to play the violin for The Simpsons. It's like, dude, it's a cartoon. And he's like, yeah, I fucking did it anyway. I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah. So Bob is released and this says goodbye to Ice Pick and our good friend Snake. Cut her Ice Pick. and This is the first time we get Snake's name as well. Like, he's he's never been named up to this point. We've seen him a bunch, but no one's ever called him Snake. Yeah. He's at the wedding talking to Apu. He's shot him about nine times. Yeah, yeah.
01:16:33
Speaker
that's what that's how they know each other so well that's a good that's a good editor joke there or like a good animator joke right there having snake and apu talking the way that's good that's good we don't see that everyone is taken by the uh story and everyone is very happy for selma including uh patty potty out that selma is giggling like a schoolgirl and we get selma's interesting giggles but it is Bart is less understanding and cannot get past the fact that Sarge or Bob fame Krusty. And eventually Bob gives a very, not very sincere thank you to Bart for locking him up, including a slightly sarcastic pat on the hand. Do we have many episodes to come of Bart being sort of uncomfortably obsessed with Krusty? Because I feel like that kind of dies down over the years. Because Bart likes Krusty.
01:17:30
Speaker
But I forgot how in early early Simpsons, he is obsessed with Krusty. And not to not to be like a huge downer, but I feel like that had to do with a lot of reveals about a lot of 90s characters that Krusty was based on, certain things about their lifestyles coming out and not being particularly PG-13, if you know what I'm saying. Well, Krusty himself becomes more the boxers as the series goes on. yeah to Eventually Bob then asks Sam with her permission to do something bold, and Sam tells him not to but slip the tongue in. yeah Bob's response to this is but kissing you would be like kissing some form of divine ashtray. A divine ashtray. Holy balls. Bob asks Sam with the marium, and Bob objects this pointing out that Bob is scum. Sam's response to this is Bob is Mrs. Scum. And it's so very sweet.
01:18:30
Speaker
We then see that Sizio Bob and Zoma are at the Happy Sumo, and singing karaoke as we get a nice little montage of their love. As soon as you said the Happy Sumo, I realised that, yeah, this is a repeat location. I didn't realise during the episode, but yeah, Homer went there. Is it Homer that goes there? Yeah, they go there for sushi, don't they? Yes, yes. My ponfish, doofish, blowfish, bluefish. we We get some nice little moments in this montage of Bob's giant feet leaving big infants yeah and running through the meadows. God, Bob's, Sideshow Bob's feet creep me out, ma'am. There's also them at the hair salon where Bob's using, I guess, Marge's hairdryer. Yeah! ah So it is for more than one customer. It's not custom made. We don't get a nice moment of Mo-Man failing his eye test, but Selma passes away and tells him to go find some love. And Mo-Man looks absolutely delighted when you see him. This is the happiest time I've ever seen that little man. It just made me happy inside that it happened.
01:19:28
Speaker
Michael, you're just a little jelly bean deep down at you. I like more than being happy. Oh, Michael's so sweet. I don't happen enough. Isn't it weird that when Michael doesn't drink, he sounds more drunk. And when I do drink, I sound drunk. It's weird. Anyway, we come back to ah a telephone that's going on and it's for motion sickness as a they make it about 300,000 pounds and Christie's delighted about this as he points to the kids in the front row who look dead. We should have seen the bus they drove here on. When Christie comes out and he's already like all miserable and and cryy and stuff
01:20:05
Speaker
It's like he's been doing it for about nine hours. Well that's the thing I thought that was the bit that Krusty's washed up but it clearly isn't is the bit supposed to be that Krusty is phoning it in because obviously then as soon as Sideshow Bob comes up or like when they when he introduces the producer or whatever that he's all happy and joyful, so is it supposed to just be that very quick bit that celebrities don't actually fucking care? I don't know, I didn't read it that way particularly. Christie, I think we see him doing a bunch of telethons over the course of things. Yeah, because he's a washed up celebrity that no one fucking cares about except for Bart Simpson. He's not that washed up though, he's got a successful TV show and he makes loads of money out of ridiculous amounts of merch. He's really not washed up. Let me have my moment.
01:20:50
Speaker
Well, tell you what, who's getting his moment? It's that man that needs no introduction, the chair of the board. You know who he's talking about. and He just comes on and he's got a surprise for Christie and it's side show Bob. The two embrace and Christie tells Bob that he's worth twice the man that he replaced and we see him side your mill at home looking very sad about this. Yeah, four side show mill, guys. He's just trying his best. I can only be myself. Bob asks Christie to forgive him for framing him from robbery, but Christie reveals that if anyone ever looks into the books of the telephone, he's going straight back into jail. And we see that Bart is still not going to be watching this on television, and we support that if Christie could give Bob, Bart should do, and we just see that Bob is now being kicked up with the arse by Christie. Yeah, that was weird. That escalated.
01:21:39
Speaker
And now we see that plans are being made for the ah wedding, including Marge tactfully trying to tell someone that she probably shouldn't wear white, but don't insist on white. I mean, what else would you wear for a wedding dress though? Like, that's like, I thought it was basically always white. No, white white is white is supposed to be for virginity. I think that's what the joke was supposed to be. That will show my part. My missus' mum didn't wear white. her Grandma didn't wear white. I know a lot of people that didn't wear white. My aunt wore blue. It was very nice blue. I was a page boy. um I'm a more black. yeah was sick we That's fucking metal, Michael. Give your mum a high five for me.
01:22:23
Speaker
I had the whole theme of that wedding was a metal. I dyed my hair black and everything. That's fucking awesome, dude. You got pics? Can I see some? That sounds awesome. Unfortunately, no, because the dye I used was spray on it. It never dawned on me that it would have probably been a good idea to know use a hair dryer on it to dry it. Oh, so it's all just damp the whole time. Yes, and it started to run at a certain point. Amazing. And I think they avoided photos of that because, well, it could be misinterpreted. Let's phrase it like that.
01:22:55
Speaker
Anyway, simpson Simpsons. Simpsons? I'll tell you what that wedding did not have. Cocktail Weenies as Homer gives his culinary experience and suggestions. This is where Selma reveals that she permanently lost her sense of taste and smell. Anyone else Google Trenchman? I absolutely did, yeah. Bob calls Homer a Trenchman and I was like, what is that word? Yeah, it just means someone who has who has a very specific diet, usually, ah that they eat a lot. yeah just i so in in Yeah. In proper sideshow, Bob, in proper Kelsey grammar style, it's just a very smart way of calling you fat. Homer, you eat a lot. What do you want? Homer, you're a gluttonous piece of shit. What do you want at the wedding?
01:23:42
Speaker
I appreciate the next bit where Marge will sell what the hors d'oeuvres are, which are cocktail winnings and meatballs, and Bob immediately panics at the wedding cost, as far as our control of this. Well, when you only have ten dollars. Eight out of ten dollars. This is where Selma reveals that she's got quite a bit of money in reserve of the stocks of the Mace company, I think it was. I bought stock in a Mace company just before society crumbled, which I wrote a note, it was like, What specifically are they alluding to or implying with what society crumbling was?
Selma's Investments & Relationship Tensions
01:24:15
Speaker
I think this joke is not as clever as we want it to be. No, because I had the same vibe. I was like, what is she referring to? I don't think there is a reference here. I think it is just she bought stock in a mace company and they need to fit some kind of joke in it. So that's what they went with.
01:24:33
Speaker
As Bob questions out loud that he hopes people don't think he's marrying Selma for money or less desirable attributes is the wording he uses. less handible qualities less tangible qualities We don't see that Selma and Bob are on a romantic horse-drawn carriage and as they start cuddling up Selma realises that MacGyver is on and gives Barney $50 because he was driving it and Barney's got a British accent and everything. Yes, Mum! We then see that Selma rushes home and is disappointed to learn that she's missed the fact that MacGyver was wearing a particular jumper. Tank top. Tank top, that was the one. I don't know what it says about the two not quite straight people of the show being adamant that he was wearing a tank top.
01:25:18
Speaker
I fucked. It says about me that I'm reading the transcripts on Frinkie, okay? I fucking hell, I was trying to do a bonding moment, whatever, alright? You may bond over your little tank top, then. I mean, I'll watch MacGyver in a tank top, why not? Well, Bob is forced to do so as a... see that however MacGyver solved this week's problem if you involved the gravitational pull of Jupiter was it? The moon. okay And Bob is ah very sarcastic about the quality of the episode which upsets Selma who runs off and we see that Selma is now crying in Marty's shoulder by saying
01:25:53
Speaker
Things he said are just not joking. don't think he's so mean about MacGyver, man. It's crazy. Sam is ready to call off the whole thing until Bob walks a bit into the house, and Sam asks him to just say he likes MacGyver. Bob can't bring himself to do it because he even didn't like the car chase. And Homer gives his great romantic advice that he hates everything Marge is interested in, so he just goes for a walk and goes to Moe's, pounds a few beers, and comes back in the mood full of I don't know if Michael's saying this for a joke. This is legitimate good advice. Because, look, I- Not to go out and get pissed. Well, not specifically to go get drunk, but I don't enjoy everything that my missus watches. And she doesn't enjoy half the crap I watch. And that's fine. Like, you need separate things to enjoy. That is just a fact. As my grandma used to say, if we were all the same, the world would be boring.
01:26:49
Speaker
it ah But she was saying it to make me feel okay with being a complete fucking freak. But the advice is still solid. Well, Bob takes the advice and says that he'll now go for works. No, no, no, no. He says a long constitutional. A vigorous constitutional. So he goes out and has a wank is what he's saying. And Bob doesn't like this. It's bad medicine. Yeah, is this a bit, but no likey bad medicine? That has to be a reference, right? It's probably a reference. This episode is full of them. I would have to dig through the list. John, John, John, hold on. Are you saying that Simpsons makes a reference that very few people would understand? Are you saying that? Do you want to know what Bob's prisoner number was a reference to? Are you fucking joking? You've said him often, huh?
01:27:43
Speaker
The jeanval Jean Valjean from Les Miserables. I've heard he's a fraud. His prisoner number was 24601, the same as Bob's. Why do I feel like Kelsey Grammer suggested that? could be That probably would have been... It feels like some of Kel's... But we all base our image of Kelsey Grammer off Frasier. I don't think Kelsey Grammer's really like that. Well, he was very big on the cocaine at the time. Frasier, the documentary about Kelsey Grammer. Simpsons. We then cut to the wedding and we see Maggie is the flower girl continuously falling down while Lisa is bitter as hell about it. This moment is so... oh shit, we forgot about Lisa. Yeah. And does Summer and Bob were getting married? Bob has a vision of Bob as the Grim Reaper? I do. We then see that the the wedding reception has begun and Mo and Barney see the champagne train. Barney takes the bottle.
01:28:38
Speaker
Homer has tracked down the hors d'oeuvre guy and Homer's just surrounded by every single and every hors d'oeuvre guy. I am way too socially anxious to do that, but that's what I want to do. At every... But you stand there and I will eat this. Yeah, holy shit dude, hors d'oeuvres are so good and I'm just like, no, just hang out. All 12 of them? I'll take them. I would feel bad about taking all of them, um but like I will get them. Yeah, that's what I want. I just want to take them all, Jon. I just want them all. Gimme. As Patti laments the fact she's the only single one left in the family, she turns to see how my reading is all doing. It could be worse. Such an obvious joke, but so good.
01:29:19
Speaker
We then see that Marge is filming the event and goes up to Crusty to ask him for a joke. Crusty struggles for a while and starts telling a joke about the pianist and then realises that's not suitable for kids. i must have heard that joke a million times when i was younger and for some reason that one i mean i guess because i was younger like that was that was a whoosh every time talking about oh a guy goes to the bar and takes out a 12-inch pianist it's like ah i get it it's because it sounds like penis wait there's a dumb bit between me and a friend that play monster hunter that is just yeah but cock joke though whenever we accidentally say something that could be misconstrued as an innuendo
01:29:58
Speaker
And that's that's the first thing that came to mind when i when I heard that joke was just, yeah but cock joke though. So it made me laugh but for the wrong reasons. We'll then see that the wedding speeches are beginning and the so this is the point where Selma announces that she's going to get up smoking apart from Miele and the MacGyver. This was a weird bit. Well this is the setup for the later episode. No it's not because she smokes anyway. Yes, but it's giving Bob a time to put everything into place, isn't it? It's just the murder mystery element or attempted murder mystery element of the episode. Matt Groening watched one episode of Colombo. I don't think he wrote this one because we would know he only wrote one episode. I believe Colombo himself wrote this episode. Just one more thing, Mr. Matt Groening. I don't believe Bea Volker ever wrote anything.
01:30:52
Speaker
Do you ever do a Colombo riff? Yes, Colombo is in The Simpsons. Is he? Okay. Yes. He, I think he drops it once. But then takes the opportunity to ask Chief Wiggum if he thinks anything is suspected and Chief Wiggum's response is, if this was, if that was the case, would he have invited Springfield's number one cop? Chief Wiggum then wonders where his beneath and realizes he's left it next to the cake. Where all the kids are just grabbing children.
01:31:17
Speaker
We then see that a the Happy newlyweds are setting up, and Soma asks Patty to tell her what she wants to hear, and Patty says she's jealous as hell, and that's what Soma wanted. It's all I want my brother to say to me. As they're driving up to the sunset and Soma is asleep, Bob says the sweating was tiring. I know, I gramically went wrong with it. No, I wasn't laughing at that. I was laughing at the joke. I'm just being a child because I love puns. Bob declares the wedding was tiring, but the honeymoon will be murder. As Bob goes into full-on evil laughter just in case you had any lingering delta about where his intentions might be. It is so fucking dumb. I would love to know if there is a, like, one day, one day when we're world famous Simpsons podcasters, if someone goes back and looks at the statistics and see if I'm constantly more favorable about the episode because I've gotten drunk by then.
01:32:15
Speaker
We don't see that the family are watching a video tape of Selma's honeymoon at the Shelbyville Falls. We don't see that- How long was their honeymoon that she had time to fucking mail her? I noted this. I mean, this is this is weird because, I mean, I guess they're on honeymoon. It could be a week or two and presumably they are getting it on fairly regularly. It is a honeymoon after all, but the way it's Portrayed and delivered is it sort of, it implies that the events of the attempted murder take place basically immediately after the filming of the video. But the Simpsons also have time to receive and watch the video and counteract the plan, which like all of this took place in the span of a quite a small timeframe to say it involved mailing things. ah Shall we roll next door to Springfield? We wouldn't have taken that long. I liked Rolling Rock. That made me laugh. Yes, yeah, Rolling Rock's good.
01:33:10
Speaker
So Selma shows off the landmarks after revealing that the video camera was the gift from Cousin Dot, and Homer provided the videotape, which Homer's delighted about. Did the wicked tape, Homer. Homer knew he was gonna get it back, it's great. As Selma introduces Bob, Bob is being the shit out of a member of staff because he doesn't have a room of a fireplace, until he realizes he's being recorded and he and Dennis smile for the camera. I loved the subtle tilt up of the nametag. I was chatting with my good friend. Dennis.
01:33:39
Speaker
We don't see that Bob is lighting the fire, and Bob starts talking about how much he loves the fire, including ending with the line, Eradicator of Deadwood. Oh, this is such a chewing the furniture-ass line from Kelsey Grammer. Fire, scourge, a Prometheus, toaster of Marshmallows, Eradicator of Deadwood. Do you think he just said this? And they were just like, yeah, I think so. He was just riffing at that point. Bob then asks Selma to put the camera down so they can do something else, and Selma says, make love. We then get a nice shot of him from Selma's point of view, and Bob's despondent. I guess i so. And Bob wonders why Bob was so hell-bent to get the fireplace. Marge says he was just trying to get romantic, and Bart's response to this is romantic of Aunt Selma. Marge just assumes Bart's too young, but Bart is in full suspicion. We then see the next scene, and Bob runs into the bathroom to clean himself off after thats doing the
01:34:31
Speaker
and bob is upset that murder has its ugly side yeah someone then asks for rob and we but bobs in favor really This goes on, guys. yeah that yeah but this but it is i do i do i do i do get a chug on this bit but bob it starts rubbing her feet and uh he keeps saying under his mudrig under his voice about how he's playing to better her and then uh keeps giving a foreign translation of what he's saying did anyone translate these things that he's saying does he actually say is that what that does mean in those languages or is he just i'm pretty certain the second one was just in bullshit yeah i'm gonna say is he just saying fucking gibberish the french one i'm pretty sure is right i could not
01:35:13
Speaker
tell you the Sanskrit one. I suspect the Spanish one is also correct where he inadvertently slipped into Spanish. I'm going to murder you. Eventually Bob mentions the term MacGyver is on and someone's off to watch it and we see Bob sneakily in the background planting the cigarettes and turning on the guests as Bob declares he's off for his walk and finishes it off with a line don't forget to die.
Bart's Heroic Act & Episode Conclusion
01:35:36
Speaker
We see that Patti has come over to watch MacGyver with the Simpsons and has but this MacGyver's intro begins, Bart realizes that Summer's only got an hour to live, at which point Homer tells him to get down.
01:35:48
Speaker
We then cut back to Bob toasting Selma as he turns around and the guest explosion happens behind him as Bob feigns concern in horror. Bob arrives back into the destroyed hotel room and starts singing that he did something stupid like explode you. I love that. I don't i don't know why. Just like that is one of those lines. Then I can spoil it all by doing something stupid like explode you. Yeah, that I just get i just gotta get that in my head occasionally and I'm just like, yeah, it's it's it's a great song. and As Bob turns the chair and realises that Barton is, and Bob points out the only victims of the hotel co-operation themselves. Good people at Best Western Hotels. Best Western's an actual place and all, innit? It is! It's weird that they've got a specific brand of hotel for that, but yeah. Bob is horrified and then backs into Selma, who slaps him and says she wants a separation. Why didn't she say Du Bois? Because she thought the marriage had helped. Blech. The Springfield Police Department come in and Bob is...
01:36:47
Speaker
dismayed to learn that his plans have all fallen apart. My best laid plans have gang Agli, which is a reference to Rabi Burns. Fuck's sake, Simpsons writers. We then see that Bob asks his part to explain how he foiled him, and Bart is a bit reluctant because he doesn't want to embarrass Chief Wiggum. Chief Wiggum's response is his theory. No, no, it's the only way I'll learn. Chief Wiggum just always delivering the best lines. We don't see Bard go through it for all of us at home about how he figured it out, including the flashbacks to someone's previous comments about not being able to smell and be giving up smoking. I'll just show you. Here's all the clues that we laid down for you earlier. Did you put it together? Guys, why is there a gas in a wood burning fire?
01:37:37
Speaker
And I don't think too much. Guys, guys, guys. John, John, why is there gas and wood burn? John, John, John, John. Gas, gas just develops from wood. You can't light wood without gas. No, it's insane. That sounds like, um, it sounds like the beginning of one of those life without zinc videos. I mean, also technically I'm correct because you cannot light wood without oxygen, which is a gas. Oh, fuck off. You sound exactly like Homer as Bart tries to explain this to him. Yeah. And we see that he tries to explain this to Homer four times, including with puppets. I think I'd get it with the puppets, but otherwise I don't think I'd get it. Bart then transitions to just the toll march straight away, who immediately got it, then to the Simpsonmobile, which is the family car. And we see that Homer can drive to show people within an hour. Holy fuck, yeah, I didn't even think about that.
01:38:33
Speaker
We then see that Selma begins the slowest dramatic lighting of a cigarette I think I've ever witnessed. Better Bart gets there just in time to stop Selma from striking the match. Mid scream as well, like he's proper got the Bart scream face on when he grabs her hand. As Bob wonders why the room exploded, we then see Batu at home on the Springfield Police Department having cigars and Chief Williams casuals lights up the room. What a silly goose. We then see Bob go into a bit of a rant about how the Democrats are going to get back into power and then he'll be on the streets pretty much immediately. Yeah, he's got a couple weird lines in this about- What a political leanings. Political affiliations. Yeah, yeah. I think this episode may have been written by a Republican.
01:39:15
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Does the family lament that Bob made them look stupid? Marge then points out that the only person that didn't was Bart. Bart says they need to get out of this hallway before they suffocate on the guests, but nobody moves, they just laugh. Yeah, I was really expecting the joke for them to be to collapse. But there's no joke, they just stand there and giggle. It... I don't know, it was weird. What if they collapse, then they'd be dead and there wouldn't be another episode. Oh, what a shame. Take it you liked this one, then. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, it was great. I think he might be being so catch-good. Yeah, it was great. God, guys, so good. So Homer to Homer, guys, great.
01:39:54
Speaker
What did you think of it, Johnson? I've been looking forward to this for a while because I was thinking, oh, it's I show up all the side show. Bob episodes are good. I don't know if I'm just remember it more favorably or if it's one ah one of those episodes that I have watched too many times and I know all the plot beats anyway, and it it just didn't land as well as I remembered it. I think the problem with this particular episode is that the one that follows it sigh your bobconical wise is infinitely better than this one. yes
01:40:26
Speaker
yeah and but i kind of yeah in my head i was like i know which one is the best side joe bob episode but i was also still is it the one with sidehow side job bob episodes are good yeah there's like but outside your up to come well I the one with the Rex. That is the one we're talking about. That is the good one. I think this episode's just... I know that they have to set this all up with Bob and Selma, but it does sort of... Bob is at his best when he is being magically devious and he's trying to murder people. I think he's just a bit too much of him being reserved. I think that might be what the problem is.
01:41:00
Speaker
Yeah, I think this episode's fine. I think it's another, like, Simpsons classic that you- I think it's something. Yeah, you reme- this is another Simpsons classic that you remember for no specific reason. Like, there's good gags, and Sideshow Bob is, like, always great. But it's not an award-winning episode. I think it just gets lumped in with other, better Sideshow Bob episodes. Yes, yeah, but that's probably about the shape of it, yeah. Most of the positive reception it's got is everybody just gushing about how great Sideshow Bob is. Yeah, absolutely. And admittedly, he was the best part of this episode. Yeah, yeah, no doubt, no doubt. Alright, what's your out of Homer? I'mma give it an episode of MacGyver out of Homer. It was kinda trope- You stole my rating! Oh wow. He's kinda tropey and amusing, but not worth getting the DVDs.
01:41:50
Speaker
Interesting. I think that is going to be the first and only time we ever have the same out. That's amazing. um I'm going to have to change mine now. I'm going to have to give it a... Well, you can have the same rating, but you still have to explain it. I've got to go with that. And then I went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like explodes. Fuck you. That's my rating. Yeah.
01:42:13
Speaker
ah The odds of that. That's so good. I sung it too, so it's mine. Well, I'm i'm not quick-witted or creative enough to change it, so I'm not going to... I thought you were just going to say I'm not giving it a rain. Well, I mean, mine was... my I didn't write out the full lyrics to the song, I just went going and spoiling it all out of Homer. no Okay, I'll let you have it. I'll go with Eradigato, Deadwood, then, out of Homer. Because without the Selma bit, it would have been great.
01:42:47
Speaker
You're much so. If Bob had succeeded, it would have been a much happier place. God, it would have been dark.
01:42:57
Speaker
I think Myers gave it three out of five, which seems pretty fair. Yeah. Yeah, I'd agree. Three out of five. That's all I'd be voting for. Yeah, he noted that the love story between Bob and Selma never seems to play as well as it should, which yeah is it interesting that that sounds like he he's reviewing it after watching it multiple times, which is interesting. Yeah, maybe. I mean, this... When he reviewed it much later. yeah Oh yeah, yeah when when Nate Myers went through and did his reviews, I'd have to dig out his review pages. Are you saying that someone would insert themselves into the Simpsons fandom like that? What an asshole. Who would do that? What does this say about society? Anyone? It really wanted to have something to say about society, but I don't think it did.
01:43:44
Speaker
He kept making a lot of remarks about prisons and prison system and yeah how we treat prisoners. ah But yeah, he didn't really like- Political jokes don't equal political commentary is what this- No, no. Is what this told me.
Attempted Societal Commentary & Conclusion
01:44:01
Speaker
Nate Myers reviewed this in 2004 just for point of comparison, so 12 years after it aired. There you go. ah Yeah, I mean, like there are lots of bits about prison overcrowding and specifically lines from Wiggum about having no interest in reforming that. It was like, do you have room for a two-time criminal in your in your prison? I was like, no, but it's not gonna stop us. I'm still gonna cram him in there anyway.
01:44:28
Speaker
Lisa made a remark about the revolving door prison system, which I think there's something to explore in that. argument There's a very much a very real argument she made that the American prison system is kind. Yeah, because that's a natural term that's used to describe the American prison system. Yeah, the world the American prison system is set up overwhelmingly for profit. Like most of them are just private companies. yeah They want people back in because that's how they get paid. They don't want you to go out and reintegrate into society. They want you to come straight back through that door a couple weeks later after committing more crimes. then They don't want to reform anyone. yeah But The Simpsons was not saying that. I'm i'm saying that.
01:45:08
Speaker
Yeah, like I said, I think it the the episode really seemed like it wanted to have, like, clever undertones to it, but it just didn't. Yeah, yeah, agreed. Michael, anything? Nope, I made full agreement of the other points made. I have very little topper. Alright, outro time, guys. Cool. Well, thank you very much for joining us. We'll be back with- Hey John! Hey John! Hey John! Hey John! Yes, John. hi Where is another place that people can go to listen to mine and your opinions about another piece of media that recently got a new episode because I don't tell fucking lies.
01:45:54
Speaker
Where is that that they can go? Actually, I did not know about that. Where can they go? Where can they go, John? Somalia. I don't know, because I hadn't heard about it. You'd better tell people. Guys, there's a podcast out there called All for Arnold, where we recently reviewed Terminator. And you can go and listen to that right now on Spotify, because there's a brand new episode all about Terminator. Because I said I'd do it for this episode, and I did. You absolutely did. Yeah. Holy shit. Well done. Thank you. That's all I wanted. Great. Let's watch Red Sonia. All right. Excellent. It's a date. Ooh. You. I'm only up for that with Michael. Sorry. Oh, OK. Never mind then. If you said you'd watch porn, we would have been wearing that.
01:46:47
Speaker
Michael, Michael, it's gonna happen. Once we have a Patreon, we're doing one episode, which is reviewing porn. No, no, we've got to read the lesbian Bigfoot book first. Priorities. That's gonna happen. Uh, Matt, you got anything else to plug? No, that's it. You can find me on Twitter and BlueSky at mapperspective, M-A-T-T-P-E-R-S-P-E-C-T-I-V-E. I've been tweeting a lot more recently just because a lot of stuff has been bothering me. So if you like my little soapbox moments where I just go on an absolute fucking rant, you can have that. I i recently just went off on one about people being snobby about the price of video games based on the amount of time that the video game actually takes to complete.
01:47:30
Speaker
ah Because I think if you genuinely believe that the amount of time that it takes to play a video game when it costs $70 doesn't matter. You're a prick, a snob, and don't understand what it means to not know if you can have food on the table at the end of month. So fuck you, video game journalists. ah Yeah, so if you want more of that, totally sunshine and rainbows, head on over to my Twitter. Sweet. Michael, anything to plug? Yep, you can follow me on X at... the bottom of my shorts, be my shorts. I do not have friends about the video game industry on my ah page, but who knows, maybe I'll start tweeting a bit more frequency. and Maybe I'll get into reviewing porn with Matt soon. Yep. Yeah. Go look at that ass. Where can I find you John? Absolutely.
01:48:22
Speaker
if i't wear stupid yep yeah you can definitely find me in wales at this address deskop go I'm not posting my assassination coordinates just yet, but yeah ah yet yeah Just yeah patreon goal guys Top-tier assassination coordinates I Would like to be assassinated at the Louvre
01:48:50
Speaker
find me on Twitter at Morocco underscore p m I'm keep thinking about changing that I would love to have Morocco but like that's not an option until they let me have it from that one guy who posted once 15 years ago and never posted again it's really annoying but I don't know, still Morocco underscore BM, still posting about video games and trans stuff and politics and occasionally The Simpsons. Yeah, that thing that we are doing right now. is it that That natural Venn diagram. Never heard of it. All these things are interconnected. Absolutely.
01:49:30
Speaker
uh yeah thank you for joining us we will be back with not quite the end of season three but we are drawing there we've got three episodes of season three to go and then we are moving on to i presume 1993 season four the world will change probably maybe the world will change i will be born that'll be exciting i thought so so stick with us for that for that exciting moment in history on this day something cool will happen but maybe right i think we already established it doesn't happen on that day it's a day out isn't it yeah it's yeah i think it was i think yeah the episode airs on like the 15th and i'm born on the 17th but whatever right i'll make it work we can lie well well we'll figure out a way to to to stroke your ego
01:50:21
Speaker
Alright, let's end this episode. I need to pee so bad. Alright, thanks for watching. Bye! Bye!