Sliver (1993)

Transcript

Speaker: Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, a panic room with Ed Harris' whole-ass Truman show set up and gather on the radio.

Speaker: It's time for this week's meeting of The Erotic Thriller Club.

Speaker: antithesis, mysterious and dangerous, and oh yes they've got all the sexiest movies out of the edges so if you're fatally attracted to the racier stuff erotic film club basically instinctively craves the silencious erotic film club if you want raci movie and you're too classy for smart

Speaker: Sharon Stone, a pretty book editor in a beret, moves into a new high-rise apartment. Everywhere she goes, she turns heads. Unfortunately for her, she catches the eye of Tom Berenger and Billy Baldwin, who are both psychotic in their own special ways.

Speaker: What's Sharon Stone to do with her Sophie's choice of questionable men? This week on the Erotic Thriller Club, Sliver. Hey everybody, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan here.

Speaker: And this is where we answer the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would i ruin my life for this person? Either of these two people.

Speaker: Pick one. I am more curious immediately to find out where Billy now ranks against Stephen. Yeah. o yeah. Pick a Baldwin. Any Baldwin. Any Baldwin at all. um Honestly, I gotta say, I think he's, I think I like, I think I liked him more than Stevie.

Speaker: i would rank him higher than Steve. I'm sorry. That's insane. You're insane. That's insane. You want Steve more? i think so.

Speaker: i think so. And I don't know if I'm just basing that off of his character and this versus a zebra lounge guy. Wait, no, wait. Zebra lounge was bad. it was real bad. Zebra lounge was the the couple. Uh-huh. Why do you... What was the threesome one?

Speaker: ah what har Farmer's harvest or something yeah like that? so It's like a cruel harvester... Bad wheat.

Speaker: Bad wheat mess you up. Bad wheat mess you up. No, um I don't care if he's a farmer or a sleazy guy in a in ah a zebra lounge. I don't want no Stevie Baldwin.

Speaker: I don't now to be clear, I don't want this Baldwin either. um But if I have to pick if you're so making me Sophie's choice between two Baldwins, a place I would never want to be between two. both I guess I have to pick Billy.

Speaker: It's funny. I, the whole movie, I was kind of picturing, you know how Tom Hanks brother does all of the voices for Woody in anything. That's not the toy story movie. I did not know that because I've never, I do not have um a child. I have not watched a bunch of a toy story spinoff like things. Yeah.

Speaker: So video games, toys, TV shit, like anything that isn't the movie. Tom Hanks, his brother is basically a perfect voice match for him. So he has a sick amount of work doing just Woody shit.

Speaker: I was wondering if Billy like does the same for boss baby. Cause he very much sounds like Alec. It's true. it's The look is pretty uncanny. ah you can you could You could squint and pretend you're watching a more famous Baldwin, for sure.

Speaker: I think he has closer to the face of Steven, but a more breathy Alec in the voice. Yeah, sure. Yeah, this movie... um So Joe Esterhaus wrote it and it was based off of a novel from the the writer of Rosemary's Baby.

Speaker: i Joe Esterhaus, the writer of the film, he did Basic Instinct, Showgirls. a Jade. he did. We're lucky to have him.

Speaker: Flash dance. So, you know, with Sharon Stone, we're coming off of basic instinct, big hit. This one, her pay was up to like two and a half million dollars. She got final cut on the sex scenes because of what happened on basic instinct where surprise your vagina is on screen. Yeah. She wasn't real happy about that one.

Speaker: So, I mean, I assume people would have been excited about this movie at the time. um Nominated for a hell of a lot of Razzies. I was surprised to see it didn't win any.

Speaker: But who was it up against that year? oh shit. That's a good question. The 93 Razzies. yeah Yeah, let's look that up. That's just for you. Here we go.

Speaker: So the 1993 Razzies. oh shit Oh, man. Yes, yes. This is kind of... this is a banger year of movies that I, like, pretty much enjoy.

Speaker: Okay, okay, let's do it. The like winner was Indecent Proposal, which we haven't done on here. Oh. But the other nominees... God, this is a murderer's row.

Speaker: Body of Evidence. God, yes. Cliffhanger. Rules. Rules. Absolutely rules. Last Action Hero, which I think is better in retrospect than people thought at the time. People thought it was bad at the time, but in retrospect, Last Action Hero does not deserve Razzies. That deserves absolutely, I would say, Teen Choice Awards. Yeah. ah yeah That should have definitely at least gotten a golden popcorn bucket at the MTV Awards. Abso-fucking-lutely. And then this. And then as far as actors, Billy was up against Willem.

Speaker: And Body of Evidence, Willem Dafoe. He was up against Schwarzenegger, Last Action Hero, Robert Redford, An Indecent Proposal, and he lost to Burt Reynolds in Cop and a Half. You know what? That seems fair. I will give it to Cop and a Half on that one.

Speaker: um Let's see. Sharon Stone did lose to Madonna in Body of Evidence. I don't think that either of them deserved that.

Speaker: I think they were both excellent. Barringer lost to Woody Harrelson, an indecent proposal. I like that even Colleen Camp, her work friend that we you know we talked about, Knock Knock, she was nominated up against... She was nominated up against Sandra Bullock in Demolition Man. That movie fucking rules too. 93 Razzies were dog shit.

Speaker: 93, y'all didn't know what you had You didn't know. you had You had money in the bank. You were so lucky. Demolition Man was excellent.

Speaker: And I believed every word she said about those three she seashells in the bathroom.

Speaker: And the worst song of the year was awarded to the Addams Family Values theme. young and Wrong. Wrong. 93. Okay, I know we're not doing the 93 Razzies on this podcast, but but I am mad at them. Sliver and Indecent Proposal did have the most nominations with seven each, but what a dog shit year of people just not looking for Not getting it. Yeah, they just hate fun, i guess.

Speaker: That's sad. That's very half was shitty, but I like it. Top and a half, I'll let you go. I'll give it to you. I'll give you that one, Razzies. um so let's talk about this movie well i love that from the beginning our sex score goes throughout the whole thing and it's a real like what are the lyrics okay like not the twilight like oh but it's a lot of like as there's like the sound of water dropping and african drums Yeah, yeah, there was a lot of that. Yeah, you just, you can hear that score in your head right now. That was Howard Shore.

Speaker: out of here. We were, did you not see his name come up in big letters while you were listening to the African drums and the ahs? Because I did. I was too busy thinking about, I wonder if we're going to get to see Martin Landau's penis from seeing his name in the opening credits. No, no such luck.

Speaker: um Although, I don't know. I did see a penis in this movie. Did you see it? Did you see the the penis? Was it in the TV screens in the background at some point? It was in the surveillance footage. i It was a blink and you'll miss it dick.

Speaker: I was probably still stuck on old lady boobs from one of the other cameras that were, yeah we were focused on different things, Kit. Understandable. Uh, yeah. So the opening credits start with security cam footage, of a bunch of stuff that looks like normal security camera type footage. Cause it's in elevators and hallways and things like that.

Speaker: Nothing too weird yet. Um, But you you know that that this was originally supposed to have opening credits in a volcano? Yeah, which would have tied into the original ending. yeah And also some dialogue from the middle of the film that was odd enough that I wrote down the volcano dialogue. Yes, there's a Chekhov's volcano ah sculpture.

Speaker: And at one point I did notice randomly, I was like, why does he have like real media clips of ah volcanic eruptions just playing on his computer in the background just for no reason? And the answer is it was in reference to something that did not did not make the final cut.

Speaker: And coming. Yeah. Oh, and it's, yes, I forgot. It's also a metaphor. He says so many stupid line reads in this movie, though, that the volcano one stuck out early. But then I was like, oh, he just says dumb things.

Speaker: And also when he said the volcano one, it was before they were going to have sex. And it was like he was really bad at making sexy small talk. yeah and and it was like he was just saying things without realizing what was coming out of his mouth i would believe that actually that's that seems in line with his character uh in that um apparently his go-to line with women he is currently having sex with is i love you you smell so good they love to hear they smell good i bet

Speaker: so shakes love. Chicks dig it. no I love that when we're introduced to Billy Baldwin, we are introduced to him as a video game designer, which his apartment kind of like he's got civilization posters. I saw that.

Speaker: X-Force Danzig, Nine Inch Nails. He's i just look He has so much furniture, but bro still can't be bothered to buy an actual bed frame. His mattress is on the floor. And I'm like, Sharon Stone, you are you said you were 35 years old. At what age do you just draw a fucking line in the sand and say, I will not fuck a man who has his mattress on the floor anymore. I'm done.

Speaker: well he he obviously lives in a nice place and uh yeah no bed frames no picture frames just no posters just slap to the wall and that's with that old timey sticky tack that you know was gonna leave a residue and it'll be stuck on your poster forever coming out of the deposit too well he owns the place so it doesn't matter we know that now yeah What is his age? Because he does say to her, are you worried about me being younger than you? Did he say? i don't think he ever said exactly how old he was. So I guess we're just supposed to believe he's like late 20s, I guess.

Speaker: Also, did they ever discuss... The title. Did the word sliver... it Because I learned what that means, but I didn't prior to looking it up. The only time I saw it in the movie was when she's looking through microfiche to learn about the building, and it says, like, three accidental deaths at the sliver building. And I was like, oh, I guess there's your title. But, i like, I know that... I'm pretty sure...

Speaker: British people call a splinter a sliver. So, you know, well, from what I read, it seemed like it was the New York, like in Nashville, we have a lot of tall skinnies, they're tall houses and they're really thin so they can build a shit ton of them next to each other. I guess it's like the, the high rise equivalent of a tall skinny. It's they're called slivers. I love that there is a more Southern name for it that sounds cute.

Speaker: Like I was introducing ah John the other day to, cause he had a crossword answer that was no see him. And I was like, Oh, that's a very Southern name for a bug. I'm sure it has some, ah you know, ah Latin name, some official name, ah but you can't see they're small. So it's a no see them.

Speaker: see him no see him so a tall skinny uh which actually sounds like a latte order to me right uh is apparently what what y'all call a sliver a sliver yeah uh we do get thrills right from the top though it's a i mean you know we open with the sexy music and then just immediately a blonde woman being yeeted unceremoniously from a high rise. It's very giallo in that we see like the insert shot of the gloves, ah you know, as we open the door and then the POV shot of him walking towards her and her being like, hi. And that's it. She says, hi. And then he's thrown off a building.

Speaker: I mean, it did get me to be like, oh, Jesus Christ. Because as we're, you know, I'm watching this movie and I'm not in a great mood because Dolly Parton had died hours prior yes and I didn't want to deal with this bullshit. when the world is so grim, but, that did break me for a second to like, Jesus Christ. All right. All right. We're here to party, I guess. Let's, uh, we're throwing ladies is now there's an opening, ah for someone else to move into the building. Uh, good for you, Sharon stone, sexy book editor.

Speaker: With Sharon Stone showing up to this apartment, and we don't know why everyone is turning and looking at her so much, which makes it extra funny because she comes bundled up in a winter coat with a beret on So all that's visible is her face. Yes, and honestly, like, everybody keeps talking about how much they look alike, and I'm like, because they have blonde hair? Like, New York's full of blondes with the exact same haircut in the 90s. It's not that special.

Speaker: I guess there's like, what statistically, what were the odds that a pretty blonde moved into the pretty blonde? play and Decent. Probably decent. Pretty good. Yeah.

Speaker: I mean, this is not an an apartment complex where I would want to ah to to raise children. There's no in-unit laundry. Yeah. um And that's a big no-no when you got kids. So, like, it's obviously going to be a young sort of single person moving in ah Yeah, young single person. But the first person she passes is this this old man who his reaction to seeing her was like either her tits were out or she was brandishing a gun.

Speaker: yeah like I couldn't tell, like, he... I couldn't tell what was happening. Immediately, like, i is he the bad guy? Did this old man in his old bones throw this woman? old bones still have ah the power of murder inside them. Don't don't write him off.

Speaker: She looks light. Hey, man. You saw um that, you know, Jason Voorhees was originally his own mom, right? It was his mom that was doing all the murdering. So old people can still do ah horrible murder crimes.

Speaker: We're probably the age of Jason Voorhees' mom in that movie, Kit. Oh, my God. No. i was a child. No. She was she was she was probably... in my memory in my memory, she is 88 years old. but She did not come out of the retirement home. she was She was still spry. Like, she could...

Speaker: Oh my god. um so So she can move in and that's nice. But yes, everyone stares at her. And honestly, I i i feel like every time we see her apartment, it is furnished differently. And I don't know if it's just like ah an illusion based on the fact that this is like the blandest apartment.

Speaker: looking apartment and her furniture does not match the aesthetic of the apartment at all she has a lot of like antique furniture and this is a very like plain white wall super modernist open floor plan type place and um i i don't know it just i was like why would she go for this building it doesn't suit her style at all and i loved by the way how shitty the like realtor lady or whoever is like showing her around is because you know when you're like having a realtor show you ah a place they'll try to like figure out things about you like

Speaker: Are you planning on having kids? Well, this room would be great as a nursery. All she knows about this woman is that she's a book editor. And so when she shows her a room, she's like, this room would be great for reading.

Speaker: And Sharon Stone's like... sexless, kidless, loveless hag. Yes. I'd normally say it's good for fucking in, but you just don't look like a lady who fucks. LAUGHTER That was a bizarre a bizarre situation, but it's like, eh, she looks clean. Give her the apartment.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. ah Meanwhile, we see her at work where her friend, which I guess is the friend who got nominated for a Razzie, undeserved. She's delightful.

Speaker: She's like your classic New York best friend. She's bubbly. She's bouncy. She wants to take you out to go meet men at a Pavarotti opera party.

Speaker: Colleen Camp, yes, who we'd mentioned produced Knock Knock and played the masseuse in it. I always think of her as Noah Vanderhoff's wife in Wayne's World. Yes. she is This character's insane. Like, this movie is poorly written in a weird way.

Speaker: where when Colleen Camp is walking through the office at one point, she is just shouting about sex and yeast infections. Yes. And nobody is turning to be like, what the fuck? are you It is nine in the morning on a Monday. You do not need to shout about how you're using your vibrator so much. You now have a plastic yeast infection.

Speaker: and you's just unnecessary. And like, also the fact that you, you want your, your, your gal pal to be your wingman at a Pavarotti concert. Like i I get that you want to, I guess what she's angling for is like a rich cultured man. Niles Crane. They're trying to fuck Crane. Trying to fuck Niles Crane.

Speaker: um But Sharon Stone is like, why can't we go to a Pearl Jam concert instead? And I'm like, that actually does seem like a much better place to meet somebody than an opera.

Speaker: Maybe that's just me. But um her friend says, i wrote this down. Isn't Pearl Jam some sort of oriental sex thing?

Speaker: That's the kind of thing that friend says. She's walking around the office just like, what's his cock look like? How big is it? Like, she doesn't have the vibe of of Samantha on Sex and the City, but that's what's got coming out of her mouth that that's the whole movie. Yes, she has the vocabulary and the...

Speaker: So they're throwing around the word putz like they're they're like just two old men. Like that they're just Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau and grumpy old men. Yes, you're a putz because you won't take me out to meet men who will put their cocks in me. Ha ha ha!

Speaker: i wish that was the dialogue between jack lemon and walter matthew same if what if those are just two gay men that want to go to the ice fishing place to get some ass hell yes it's like why won't you take me to the pavarotti concert where we will find yeah rich gay men to fuck us And you know what? I do feel like a guy in a flannel at a Pearl Jam concert is going to jackhammer a little bit better. a little bit. not This guy's Niles Crane. Yes, i agree. um

Speaker: but but also, ah one of the random guys in the office calls Sharon Stone a genius. because she says she can get an author bio written by the end of the week. Do you mean the little blurbs that are on the book jacket? Because those things are like two paragraphs max. You're going to take to the end of the week to write that?

Speaker: Oh, man. When all the data centers explode, people are going to saying that again to the few of us that remember how to write. And ah yeah meanwhile, her friend's like, well, since she's not fucking, she could get anything done on her schedule.

Speaker: right You mean right? it no So she goes home and masturbates in the bathtub. Isn't that like literally what happens after this meeting? Yes, is that while helpful Baldwin helps carry her ah stuff up ah the elevator for her, we learn the doormen in this building are fucking useless, but still expect tips.

Speaker: um And... ah and the thing that drove me nuts about this is she's like, the movers are going to be here soon to the doorman. And then she leaves the apartment to go grocery shopping. And when she gets home, all her shit is just in the middle of the entryway of her, of her room. I'm like, if you had been here when the movers were here, they could have helped you move that heavy ass wardrobe into the actual bedroom. So it wouldn't just be sitting there.

Speaker: like Well, they walked into that room and they thought, clearly this is a room for books. i say This isn't where this goes. this is This room is for reading. This room is for reading and poof let's just leave everything right here.

Speaker: but um yeah While she's at the grocery store, she gets followed around by the weird old man who promises her. He says, I don't usually follow women around. I'm not a dirty old man.

Speaker: He says, I wish I were, though. They seem like they have more fun than me. Yeah. Which yeah what I do think is a pretty decent line to drill home that you're not a dirty old man.

Speaker: i guess she seems to to be believing him. she She's willing to talk to him. I do think he talked himself out of that hole a little bit. The more he talked, he was a nerdy professor. he was the Niles Crane that would have been at the goddamn Pavarotti show. 100%. That's now trying to get his flaccid penis to work.

Speaker: Yep, yep. And ah he tells her that she looks just like the lady that lived there before a lady named Naomi, ah who jumped off her balcony, which is what everyone wants to hear when they've just moved into a a new apartment building. It's like, you know, you look just like the lady that lived in that same apartment ah who did jump off your balcony.

Speaker: that's like my I have a new neighbor and i wonder, does he know that someone died in his house prior to him living in it? Probably not, right? Probably not. But then again, i assume most houses that are older than like 20 years, right? That someone must have died in it at some point, just statistically, right? Don't most people die at home? Yeah.

Speaker: Well, or I mean, depend maybe you get sick, you get moved to a hospital. I don't know. um I'm going to keep that to myself, though, because I'm a nice person.

Speaker: You're not going to stalk him through the grocery store so that you can tell him? I could just tell him next time he's mowing. Hey, by the way, um this happened in your bedroom. Yeah, I don't know. How haunted is Nashville? does Is it a place where... There's ghouls. Yeah, we got ghouls.

Speaker: There's ghost tours. Yeah, any chance that the place got haunted? Did the person who died seem like they had a lot of unfinished business or... No, i think I think he'll be fine. I can't imagine there was... That's like, i you know, my house... i I would say my house is pretty not haunted, though I have had a few experiences in a specific room if the room was very messy.

Speaker: the The ghost is just a neat freak. Which, if you want to hear me talk more about that, listen to the episode of Keep It Weird I did with our friend Ashley, and you'll hear me talk about my ghost experiences. So that's for a different podcast. There you go. Okay, so um there's a thing that's never explained. ah The volcano references we now know were in reference to an ending that got changed. Is there a cut of this movie where they explain why she hates mirrors?

Speaker: Oh, man. You're right. i i mean, no cause she acts really weird in front of her own mirror in her bathroom. Like the first night she's in her new place before she goes and masturbates in the tub. She's like staring at herself in the mirror and like caressing her tummy in a way that in movies either signifies that someone has an eating disorder or is pregnant. And she's neither as far as we know.

Speaker: And then later she says she doesn't like going to gyms because there's mirrors everywhere. And I'm like, what? We know she got out of a seven year relationship. Uh,

Speaker: did Actually, you're right. Like the rubbing the tummy thing and the mirror thing. Like to me now, I'm like, okay, was there some sort of body dysmorphia subplot that they're just like, yeah, cut that. That's too feel bad.

Speaker: Right. I don't know. Maybe. um Or, or hear me out. Maybe she went to Chuck Berry's restaurant, went to the bathroom and found out there was cameras behind the mirror.

Speaker: Oh, yeah. Yeah, that could be it. Well, jokes on her. Chuck Berry wished he had this apartment set up. Jokes on her. There is a camera behind the mirror and someone watches her via security footage um at which these security cameras, you know, this guy got them Japan because unlike most security cameras, these can do like movie style shot framing camera. super good close-up so that you can get that nip right in frame.

Speaker: I swear to God, that's I wasn't joking. he was He was like Ed Harris in Truman Show. Cut to camera one, cut to camera two. Titties, feet, close-up. It really was like for a little bit just a ah menagerie of of feet and nipples. It was...

Speaker: I was confused, though, how she was masturbating at one point because i I swear to God, at one point I could see both of her hands. i was just like, this woman was magic to me. Are there jets in the tub? Because it was like a big round tub. Maybe it's got like Whirlpool jet type stuff.

Speaker: That would actually explain why she kept rolling to her side. Yeah. See, that's a thinker. We're not used to to having thinker jerk off scenes in these movies. Now we are.

Speaker: A lot gyrating and splashing. Like, it made me think that her sex later was going to be wild because of her alone time. I mean, her sex later did involve a weird amount of squirming and thrashing and like side to side movement that you wouldn't necessarily expect. So maybe.

Speaker: so It sounds like talking, we're not 100% sure which version you watch. I know I watched the unrated. And from what I was reading, the director had to make like 150 different cuts to get this out of NC-17.

Speaker: And the main cut is it sounded like for the sex scenes, for the theatrical, it just kind of kept getting pushed in where it was a lot more shoulders. Like you were still getting hits and stuff. Which the one I have, there was a lot, like I saw a lot of Billy Baldwin ass thrusting. and I saw a lot of Billy Baldwin ass, but I wouldn't say I saw it thrusting. So we may have seen different different movies. There were cuts.

Speaker: Where like i was so close to seeing his butthole. There were two different times almost saw buttholes in this movie. One his, one the old man's. That's true. The angle on that old man was pretty good.

Speaker: That not, it not good. That's not a flattering angle for an old man to be on film and naked. That's taint. If you're filming me from that angle. I would like I'd have to go to therapy immediately and be like, I don't know what the movie is going to look like. They might have shown my butthole. Garrett, when you're an old man and you die in the shower, that's how the paramedics are going to see you when they come in. And I'm sorry to have to inform you of this, but you're just going to have to get used to that idea.

Speaker: Kit, speaking of buttholes. Yeah, always. So I threw my back out last week because I'm an old man. hu And when I go to the chiropractor, I'm always too tight for them to be able to adjust me. And the last time I had to go, they suggested I go to a massage first. I got this hour-long massage at an Asian massage place, and this lady beat the shit out of me.

Speaker: She was walking on me, digging in with her heels. It was awesome. I hurt so bad. But where my where I hurt was like right above my ass. And so normally like they do the sheet over the top of you.

Speaker: Yeah. Kind of like got a sheet of it. But she pulled the sheet down and she just pulled... my underwear down and to get in there she had to get in there and i was just like because i told her where it hurt the most and i mean she was digging in with elbows like she was like i was close to tears but i could also tell it the way i was being contorted like i just needed to know where her eyes were looking because my butthole was certainly visible if it if she wanted to see and there's no way you don't just take a peek anyone's butthole's that close you're gonna be like

Speaker: she's a She's a professional, but no one's that professional. That's right. Now that I'm thinking about my therapy session on Monday, going like, this lady saw my butthole last week.

Speaker: Yeah. She saw more of my butthole than my wife. um That's the price you got to pay for feeling loose and fancy free. Yeah, I just, I didn't feel...

Speaker: I mean, I didn't feel like anything bad happened to me, but I just didn't like it being that visible to be gawked at.

Speaker: Is that reasonable? I don't know. I don't know. i feel It almost felt medicinal at that point. like you know It was like doctor seeing it. If the doctor's looking at your butthole when you're getting a colonoscopy, you don't feel weird about it, do you?

Speaker: it Depends who the doctor is, I guess. Like if I go there and it's Dr. Sharon Stone, like she is now, she is now ah a doctor. She's going to put a camera in there.

Speaker: i I don't know. i You've already seen her vagina. So it seems only fair that she then see your butthole. At least you'll have signed paperwork consenting to it.

Speaker: She didn't. Were we doing the podcast when I thought I had a hernia and had to go to the doctor I went to like an urgent care on a weekend. This was a couple years ago and it was a lady doctor, but they're like, because of where I have to look, like we have to have another party in here.

Speaker: but So more people get to look at it. So that's what I lady came in. Now two ladies are looking at your naughty parts. And I'm just feeling shame. And then they needed another opinion. So they brought in the third lady. And I was just like, God damn, we're going to bring the parking a lot attendant in here in a minute. There's just too many people. He's got a good eye for these things.

Speaker: They just bring in Billy Baldwin Martin. Billy Baldwin knows what to look for. Okay, so um her boss takes her out for dinner and introduces her to an author.

Speaker: And I had no idea if this was meant to be a work thing or a blind date thing. what what What do you think the boss's intention was here?

Speaker: It did seem like blind date. And I think it eventually was said in dialogue that it was like a setup. But the, I don't know, but also Tom Berenger's character is so full of himself and his ability to write really, really well, apparently that,

Speaker: That's all he has to talk about anyway is how good he is. It's how good he is at writing. Yeah. He, he has a ranch in Montana. ah We hear, and he like writes like true crime type books and like detective novel things, I guess. He shows up to a housewarming party, smoking indoors. In an uninvited. i may add literally not invited. And on the only person smoking indoors. He's a real fucking monster.

Speaker: yeah. Really hated it. ah Everything about him. what And then him fucking scaring her in the park in a little bit. Yeah. What the fuck? Dressed like the goddamn Unabomber.

Speaker: He is dressed exactly like the Unabomber. And He he may have pulled a fake wig off when any he revealed that it was him. She was not mean enough to him after he did that. He like runs up to her and is like... but And while she's running through Central Park...

Speaker: uh, like, ive and she's like, that's not funny. And he's like, yeah, you're right. And it's like, stop talking to him. Never speak to him again. do not let him into your apartment. This guy is an asshole.

Speaker: Like he just as well have been like, I'm going to rape you as he pops out. Just kidding. Just kidding. It's a funny joke. I'm a great writer. i don't know if you can tell. I'm ah i'm ah a grown ass She has her choice of these two lovers. And only these two. and Only these two for some reason.

Speaker: Because she can only fuck people in her building, I guess. um So she's got her choice of Billy Baldwin um or as I wrote, because I did not know his name, I just called him Bookman because he sends her his books and is like, you're going to love them.

Speaker: To me, Tom Berenger is from Major League. Okay, sure, sure. um Let's see. she She also meets her her neighbor ah that has a posh accent named Vida, who says ah that moving in is worse than anal intercourse, and who we later see just sucking cocaine off a mirror like a hoover.

Speaker: And obviously Sharon's afraid of mirrors. So that, uh, that would never work. That was never, never going to work as a friendship. Um, but yeah, so her neighbor is like, oh, someone left a package for you. Why'd they leave it with you? You're the, I don't understand. The, the package is from the book man with just copies of his book and basically note being like, gonna love my books. Meanwhile, there's also a telescope in her apartment when she comes home. and She doesn't notice.

Speaker: And then when she does, she seems to think it's like a charm because he's got a little note that says from your seeker admirer. And I'm like, that got into your apartment? but Somebody has your keys. Like, I know that your doorman is a worthless asshole, but is he also just letting strangers into your apartment?

Speaker: That's why moving into a new place is worse than anal intercourse. A hundred percent. Why is she not freaked out? i would be so freaked out, dude.

Speaker: it's It's horrifying. would have my locks changed immediately. yeah you're you're not allowed to just give me a telescope. It was crazy how long it took her to notice because the whole time I'm so looking at this telescope, like where did the telescope come from, she's doing everything but seeing it.

Speaker: Well, she just got moved in which is worse than anal intercourse. So her stuff's everywhere and she's, you know, she's not used to what the room is supposed to look like. So... Is it shortly after this that we have the the party, like the housewarming party where every he's smoking inside, he's being awful, shows up uninvited?

Speaker: He shows up uninvited and ah is like, but I brought Dom Perignon. um He pretends not to know Vida, the cocaine slurping neighbor, even though she saw them sort of canoodling by, you know, out through the telescope.

Speaker: And um everyone's talking about, like, first of all, the lighting in this apartment they is so bad. It's like fluorescent overhead lighting. It is so bright in here. It sucks so much. And then she has a couple candles for ambiance, and it does nothing. um Would you say that the lighting was better in Billy Baldwin's apartment? Which I did not know until the credits that his name was Zeke.

Speaker: And I feel like i would have... I definitely shake that the whole movie. if no i want't much attention I had noticed that they said his name was Zeke. And I also could not shake that hilarious thought the whole time that yes, the, the, the video game programmer is named fucking Zeke.

Speaker: And yes, the lighting in Zeke's apartment was better because clearly he spent all his money on like cool lighting and none of it on a bed frame. He's got to shoot his pornos.

Speaker: m That's true. Uh... So, yeah, ah we oh we did skip over the fact, though, that when she gets back from being harassed in the park by by the creepy bookman, there is a throng of reporters and cops and looky-loos outside her apartment because an old man died in the shower, which is crazy. i assume in midtown Manhattan, that is a thing that happens hourly.

Speaker: yeah And it wasn't even like suspicious. Yeah, it is just a naked old man butthole out like. Well, that's the thing. it is a little suspicious because he broke his neck in the shower. How do you break your neck in the shower?

Speaker: Old bones, frail, slippy. So old. Just too slippy, too frail. Too slippy. Well, and we we do simultaneously, we're watching an old man butthole, but also just watching Sharon Stone soap her boobs. Because we're watching from the security camera's point of view. And he's yes he's got the angles.

Speaker: He's got the best angles on old man butthole and Sharon Stone soapy boobs. That's right. Because I saw that his butthole. That was because Zeke wanted me to see his butthole.

Speaker: Yeah, he can clearly like move the camera and zoom in and ah place it, as you said, Truman Show-esque levels of control over the cameras in this building. So yeah, he wanted you to see that. He wanted to see the butthole, so you got to see the butthole.

Speaker: And that's what you get. I do appreciate that the party that everybody took the time to watch people have sex through a telescope. Yes. Someone, I think it is ah her, her work friend is looking through the telescope and is like, Oh my God, the people across the street are fucking. And everyone wants to have a look and fucking book, man is over here being like, you people are shameless. your peepers this is terrible while he pulls out a set of fucking opera glasses like binoculars to look himself he just apparently carries those around with him um ah oh you never know when you're gonna end up at Pavarotti yes so true that's what she would have ripped a cig at Pavarotti that guy's an asshole

Speaker: But yeah, so they they get to watch the neighbors fuck through the telescope. And she gets invited on two dates from this party. ah Bookman invites her out to dinner.

Speaker: um Billy Baldwin invites her to go weightlifting. I cannot imagine a worse first date. Garrett? Two sexy fit people grunting, getting sweaty.

Speaker: You spot them while they're doing it. I don't know. i don't want I don't want to do it, but I'm saying like I could see two fit, sexy people being like, that seems fine. It's a daytime date. It's coffee date. You know, it's a... And she's like, i don't want to go to a gym because there's mirrors everywhere. And he's like, this place has no mirrors. I super promise. And I'm like, don't places with weights need to have mirrors so that you can check your form and make sure you're not going to hurt yourself or whatever. Doesn't matter. He's a liar. There are absolutely mirrors there. And he's like, what? When did they put these in? ha ha.

Speaker: Shock, guys. He's not a good person. Yeah, seriously. um i don't i don't get it. Yeah, I don't get it.

Speaker: i don't get it. It's fine. She said she got out of a bad seven-year marriage or relationship, so maybe she genuinely has, like, she is red flag colorblind. She does not know that all these men are terrible.

Speaker: Literally, there's so there's so many men. You could have any man. You don't have to have these two men. You look like Sharon fucking Stone. Go to that Pearl Jam concert with or without your work, buddy. Honestly, you're going to do better without Colleen Camp there anyway. Yeah, she's going to scare him away when she starts talking about how ah Pearl Jam she thinks is some sort of oriental sex thing.

Speaker: don't bring her. She's going to bring her yeast infection into the wing, woman. name You don't want that. But now that we're, did they shower before they went back to Billy Baldwin's house? between I don't know because they're definitely in the same clothes, which means that if they did shower, they put the sweaty gym clothes back on.

Speaker: Nightmare. Nightmarish. Well, this is where we get the the first bit of volcano talk. ah she's like what's this and he's like it's a volcano i've always loved them i'd love to fly into some someday sounds like fun and this is where he's just like trying to fuck her and i i genuinely think he is just saying words doesn't know what he's saying sounds like a crazy person but he's just trying to come He should have just like been like, hey, did you notice my power glove over there? Did he have one? Yes, he absolutely completely had a power glove. What fucking loser. I know. What game is he making in 93? Is he over there like programming Oregon Trail? Maybe.

Speaker: i mean, Civilization. Yeah. yeah i mean The first one, I guess.

Speaker: Yeah. He might be working on Doom at that point. So obviously they they hook up and during the whole time with all this writhing around that Sharon's doing, she looks like she is on the verge of tears the whole time. oh yeah. And- She does cry. Yeah. And then finally she does cry and Baldwin's like, it's okay, I'm here. Whereas like, I feel like if I'm fucking Sharon Stone and she's on the verge of tears, I'm gonna stop.

Speaker: Lady, are you okay? these are bad men. Yeah. These are bad men and this does not also. yeah This is, that this would not affect them, but yeah, there needed to be more questions out of him. Red flag that he didn't be like, Hey, what's going on? Are you okay? Let's stop and talk this out. Clearly this isn't joyous.

Speaker: she does cry and she seems like the cry, like, uh, I don't know, is a cathartic one. Cause she continues to fuck him after that. So this is lot of Billy Baldwin on top thrust. And he is, he is thrust in and HD was not kind to him.

Speaker: At least in mine, there's, he needed to wax in the crack. Wow. You got that good of a view, huh? shit Well, he has good security cameras, Kit.

Speaker: That's a good point. Listen, he had this setup made in Osaka. Okay, so you know it's it's high def. Whatever high def in 1993 terms was.

Speaker: Put it this way, even with my massage, hopefully not being filmed by a security camera. Maybe it was. Oh, fuck. yeah If I had known that, I would have i would have been waxed. I would have been i would have been I mean, I showered before I went, but I would have been pristine. Pristine.

Speaker: And especially if I'm in a Sharon Stone movie and like my butt's going to be super visible. yeah you Yeah, well, you know, they were going for realism and he realistically that's not a man who waxes his ass crack.

Speaker: just there needed to be i think there just It does sound painful, but I think it needed to be done. But we who could have anticipated in 1993 the high def version I was going to be watching in 2026? I don't know. But then again, think about it, Garrett. Even back in the day, if you were watching this on film, blown up, right? On a big screen.

Speaker: People back then saw. They absolutely saw. They knew. I mean, this movie did not shy away. It sounded like they filmed his penis at one point for the movie, too, and that that got cut out after the fact.

Speaker: And it sounded like he may have asked them to because I believe he also got final cut on some sex scenes. So what do you think he didn't like about his dong? What was he not proud of?

Speaker: I mean, there are a lot of options, right? Could be a size, obviously. Every man is has there their insecurities about that. Could be it's just weird shaped, you know?

Speaker: could be Could be that it's ah it's a weird one. We just have to This is the Baldwin penis speculation corner moment of the... is his wife?

Speaker: Oh, yeah, his wife is... a since He's been married since 1995 to Phillips from Wilson Phillips. Well, isn't that nice? Good for him. Yeah. So he also admits during this that he is the one who owns the building. Because at the party, everyone's speculating about, like, hey, does anyone know who actually owns this building? It's really weird.

Speaker: Which... I don't know, in a a big building like that, I would assume it's some sort of like hedge fund property management company.

Speaker: thing like I wouldn't assume it's just some guy certainly not not Zeke clearly not ze certainly not Zeke the guy who can't afford a fucking bed frame but I guess that's just an aesthetic choice because he's actually super fucking rich which makes it really funny that he brought the cheap wine to her party um I guess he just has bad taste I don't know He's, well, he's, you know, he's playing a character. He needs her to like him for him.

Speaker: o Not because he bought brought a bottle of Dom Perignon to the the the party. Right, that's true. he i He wants to make sure that she's a real one who would like him even if he were just a broke boy with no mattress, ah you know, bed frame, and who brings cheap wine to the party. ah That makes a lot of sense.

Speaker: It's funny, though, that it's this far in that you know, after their sex scenes and stuff, that we see the control room and it zooms out and it's like, oh this is Zeke's Truman showroom. Yes. He's bad guy. Very quickly after this revealed that, like, he is ah he is the creeper who has been spying on ah the dead old man's butthole, etc.

Speaker: um That has been like, and this thing's rigged with microphones, too. He can hear in every fucking apartment. Sometimes he'll just listen to all of them simultaneously, which is nuts.

Speaker: Um... Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. He says out loud to the TV he's watching. And it it turns out that he's the one since he owns the building who like approved her application to live there so fast because he was like hot blondes taking up residence in the apartment of the dead hot blondes.

Speaker: Sign me up. i mean, you're a single guy living in the city. You own a building. Why wouldn't you fill it with the prettiest people you can? That is a bad person. Good point. And honestly, you do have to wonder at at what point does the the government notice that you are only approving the applications of hot blondes? And so you have to put in at least a couple people that are not hot blondes.

Speaker: they there is an old man's butthole apartment where you must replace that with another old butthole. So yeah you just, people are going to be on you. And also do they even care? Didn't like back in the nineties, like Trump be terrible about racism and stuff with his like rent it, not renting to to people of color. and Yes. does that even But he did get in trouble and Alec or Billy Baldwin doesn't want to get in trouble for, uh,

Speaker: for any impropriety. So he has at least one black couple in there that we see in the cameras talking about how the old man has a tumor and that's real sad. Oh, that was sad. That was sad. It was.

Speaker: ah we have the apartment with the the girl little girl from Camp Nowhere and like her stepdad or something's abusing her. Yeah, we see like a a domestic violence thing where some guy's beating up his girlfriend or wife or whatever. It's not all fun games and old man buttholes in this. There's some...

Speaker: There is like one couple where like one of them's covering the other one in whipped cream. So you got that. Like at least some of it's fun. That was just nine and a half weeks playing on the TV.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, so um then ah she goes back to work. she' She hasn't decided yet that it's a red flag that this man also secretly has been the owner of the building the whole time.

Speaker: um She goes to work and ah her her buddy at work is like, I went on a date with that author and we went up to this cabin in the woods and then he didn't fuck me, just asked questions about you the whole time.

Speaker: is not as concerning as it should be to either of them just shouting about her pussy at the office this isn't like in a secluded room this is a walk and talk in very much the style of the west wing yes

Speaker: And then we see that our our boy Zeke is a bit of a computer hacker well because he shuts off, I guess, the power to the whole building, reboots her computer and like, hey, of your body parts hurt?

Speaker: Yeah, he takes over her work computer and like deletes the presumably that author bio she's been working on for a week now. Oh my god, no!

Speaker: And instead it says what every woman wants to hear, Garrett. This is a tip for all you guys out there. This is what every woman wants to see pop up on her computer that you hacked into while she's at work so it's her work computer is i can still smell you um we need to have a conversation here uh uh what was her name in the movie carly carly carly yeah she's carla but but people who love her call her carly is a pootsie little nickname

Speaker: Carla, please come to our office. She's so super prepared that her friend Judy is about to, she's going to get asked like, hey, she was talking about this. No, we've been surveilling your computer and ah why did a man, why did somebody send you an MS paint picture of a flower asking how your holes are doing?

Speaker: And saying they can smell you. ah

Speaker: I feel like this is a conversation for Yeah.

Speaker: We just had to let you know. Yeah. and This is maybe not workplace appropriate. And we, we put up with a lot clearly in this building because we're letting Judy wander around, say all kinds of crazy shit.

Speaker: When you work with creatives, you know, things have to fly sometime. You can't put a filter on a creative. You can't stifle that. Did we get home? Oh, it's bad. It's bad. It's bad. the The place is packed. Every surface, every horizontal surface has flowers stacked on it.

Speaker: And she's like, oh, how charming. The man who owns this building let himself into my apartment so he could leave me flowers that he says smell like my pussy. ha ha ha.

Speaker: charming and then everybody's apparently allowed into her apartment anybody can just walk into any apartment in this little fucking building because the book man is sitting in her chair in the dark smoking in her apartment and calling her a whore it's it is true it is true he's like you are fucking this man who is fucking this lady who is dead and now you're gonna be dead because you both look the same kind of blonde and who knows maybe he used the same spermicidal lube on both of you and that's why you smell like flowers or something

Speaker: He says about Baldwin, he's fucked up. He's so very, very sick. Okay, says the guy who broke into my apartment waited for me for God knows how long just to call me a whore.

Speaker: Who is the sick man here?

Speaker: her reaction to all this... Is not nearly freaked out enough. Is not nearly... Ma'am, you have no survival skills. None whatsoever. And she's like, he he says that she left the door open. She's like, I've lived here for, I've lived in New York for 10 years and I've never left my door open. And why is she not changing her fucking locks?

Speaker: The first time something appears in my apartment that I did not put there, I'm changing my locks. um The second time that this happens, I'm moving.

Speaker: This is not okay.

Speaker: And then her reaction to him is, you can't be in my apartment anymore. I'm going to have you thrown out of the building. it? She's going to call the front desk. That guy's outside on a smoke break. Probably he's not throwing them out.

Speaker: No, the doorman is not going to help. The doorman probably let him in I'd like to, um, to sit in Carla's apartment and, and just sit there and smoke and wait for her to get home from work. can you, uh, can you unlock her apartment for me? I'll slip you a, I'll slip you 20 bucks. I probably did it. Berenger sound like Napoleon dynamite, but in this scene, like he got crazy. His face is crazy.

Speaker: And, I don't know. Like, I think what's very confusing, because at no point really do you expect anyone besides Billy Baldwin, because now that we know he has sur valillance cameras the bathroom, that's just the bad, that's the baddest guy in the room. You are clearly the bad guy. But after this, you're like, are they both folks doing it? Like, is it...

Speaker: Are they the same guy? Are they working together? Clearly not, because they don't like each other. Is one of them just a surveillance freak and the other one just a murderer? Like...

Speaker: i like Neither of them are okay. And at that point I was like, if she ends up with either of these men, just because the other one's a murderer, I will riot.

Speaker: love. I'm throwing a brick through a window. I loved that it cuts to Billy Baldwin. Cause know, he's there for every conversation. yeah He watched this whole thing happen via his Truman show set up.

Speaker: As he's listening to a reggae version of Fool's Russian. I know. he's like, hey, you want to go out for truffles? And she's like, yeah, sure. And he's like, wear the lingerie i gave you. Only he doesn't say lingerie, Garrett. He says bra and panties. And the way in which this man kept saying panties made me physically ill. And I could not tell you why. I can't, I don't know what it was about the way he his mouth formed the word panties, but I hated it.

Speaker: I think there is something yuckier about a man saying it than a lady and especially ball. Garrett, say it.

Speaker: Panties. See, it doesn't make me want to. Okay, stop it. Actually, Panties. What color your panties? Even that's less bad. I think it's because he said it in a very like, like Midwestern dad, like way of saying It was very like flat, very rounded. ah Like you became 13 years old and your dad is like, yes, I just lost your panties. I've got them for you.

Speaker: that is That is maybe what it was wrong with it, is it sounded like he was a man in a department store trying to sell me panties. oh I hated it.

Speaker: I do love their dinner scene. it's um It's got the charm of the orgasm at the restaurant of When Harry Met Sally mixed with...

Speaker: Nine and a half weeks, little bit. Crime. Yeah, and crime. Yeah, ah he's like, are you wearing what I what i gave you? you know and she's like, maybe.

Speaker: And he's like, you should show me. And so she manages to like unhook the top of her dress to show him the bra. And he's like, now the panties. And I'm like, please stop saying it. peace Please stop saying it. And she manages to take them off and pass them to him.

Speaker: And then the waiter comes over right as he's like holding them really obviously the And also the elderly couple next to them is aware of what they're doing the whole time. And I guess it could have been... discreet conversations this movie. No, no, no. They're for everyone around. He said panties... The busboy saw her vagina. Loud enough that everybody in that restaurant heard him ask for those panties.

Speaker: And ah in a different movie with a different guy... this would have been extremely sexy. Apparently they almost had Brad Pitt. Sharon Stone wanted Brad Pitt for this role, but Brad Pitt wasn't that big. He'd like just done a river runs through it.

Speaker: And the director was like, no, I think Baldwin's a bigger name. And Sharon Stone was like, I will have such good chemistry with, with Brad Pitt. Please cast him instead.

Speaker: I wonder how much that would have changed things. Cause from what I was reading, i mean, you saw the same thing I did where the producer was trying to get her to fuck Billy Baldwin so that they would have like onscreen sex chemistry. to Save the movie.

Speaker: Billy is acting for shit. I need you to fuck him. So it looks like you guys want to fuck each other. But what I was reading said they didn't even get along and they shot as many scenes as possible.

Speaker: With them not facing each other. Not in the same room so they could just not be there at the same time. Well, apparently that's why they have the later sex scene where they're up against a post is so that like they don't have to kiss.

Speaker: Oh my God. That's the craziest sex scene. And that's what I'm curious what you saw versus what I saw because that was a big butthole scene. Ha ha ha! Because she doesn't have underwear on from being, having taken them off at the restaurant. So her whole sex scene, she's clothed. She's in a dress. He is butt ass naked. Yeah.

Speaker: In a runner's lunge.

Speaker: Like fucking from a runner's lunge position. and that is a hell of an angle of a man. Wow. Yeah, no. ah our It was mostly like waist up from what I saw.

Speaker: God, mine was whole frame. Whole frame? Whole? Like it was... Switch to camera B.

Speaker: what um No, it was. God damn. Yeah. So apparently that was a big one of the scenes that I got to see more than you. There was no waist up in that. It was just like this wide shot of a guy having sex in a position that would have really been a workout on your legs. Yeah.

Speaker: Also. Just. Well, he works out, so it's fine. You saw him doing those leg. exercises. He doesn't skip leg day. i wonder if that position would be a red flag for a lady, but she also couldn't see what he looked like from what where I was looking. Yeah, she's just having the experience of being fucked up against the pole. So like she's she's just having a good time.

Speaker: ah like the the entrance the butt first entrance of him that she's like walked into his apartment um because she said no not tonight and then changed her mind and came anyway and she's like wandering around the apartment looking for him and then he enters the frame and we see his butt before we see any other part of him and know that he is stark ass naked And he like pins her up against this very large load bearing pillar in the middle of the room and just like fucks her from behind there. And it looks, I mean, like it's as far as sex scenes go, it's pretty hot because I didn't see the runner's lunge. I don't know if the runner's lunge ruined this. The runner's lunge was distracting. yeah

Speaker: But you're right. I didn't even consider is that runner's lunge. Like our score is going to be different because I saw the lunge you didn't.

Speaker: But is it weirdly that mine's going to be better because I didn't have. That's what I'm saying. I think it's going to be higher because. Which doesn't make sense. If you saw the unrated version, your score should be higher. God.

Speaker: oh my god So after they have sex, she's like, um, so did you ever fuck that dead girl? And he's like, nah, I think book guy did, though.

Speaker: Uh, you know, but I definitely didn't. Uh, you know, you can ask Vida, the the coke slurping girl, ah that you like. She should know all about it.

Speaker: Uh, so ask her. um... That means, of course, that it's time for for a new another person to die, because now another person could confirm which of these two men is a murderer. Yeah. ah So she's got to get stabbity, stabbity, stabbed in the stairwell.

Speaker: It's kind of gruesome. Like, it's shot in a pretty fucked up way. Not overly gory, but... No, but it's definitely going for the, like, giallo vibe of the, like, the man dressed in all black and, like, the insert shots of the hand stabbing and the bright red blood everywhere.

Speaker: um and ah the he's the bro is just standing over her body, like... very obviously being uh the the murderer and honestly i could not tell when he because both of these men have such generic white boy faces i could not tell when he looked up and there was a dramatic reveal of who's standing over the body a witch of the two men was standing over the body and i had the same exact thing happen at the end of the movie

Speaker: when they show the surveillance footage of who pushed the girl off the the balcony, could not tell which of them it was. He's got that Brad Pitt face blindness to white guys. i did I can always pick Brad Pitt out of a lineup. These men are not handsome enough.

Speaker: the running so yeah she goes down in the stairwell and sees Berenger bookman to kit uh hunched over her and it's just like hey no no no it's not what it seems yeah it really seems like you fucking stabbed her a lot of times and I don't think he even lives on this floor so I don't know why you'd be in the stairwell all the way up here anyway like this is this exercise I don't know extremely tall building is he's chasing her to the elevator. he sticks his arm through it and she bashes the shit out of it.

Speaker: With a fire extinguisher. It's so good. And he just as well have screamed like, no, my writing hand. Learn to type assholes. The nineties get a word processor.

Speaker: Whatever. He hasn't written a word in like five or six years. He's washed up. And him going to the jail. a The cops were so fucking mad at him. Yeah, because they know him because he used to be like a true crime writer. And so like he knows all their names. They know him. And they're like, buddy, did you murder the lady? And he's like, no, you know me. I wouldn't do that. And they're like, we found...

Speaker: these with We found these photos of you in the dead girl's apartment. He's like, these are my publicity photos I keep in my desk. I've obviously been set up by Baldwin.

Speaker: And this was the only time I ever believed him. I'm like, yeah, I like that is the most obviously fake planted evidence I have ever heard of. Your publicity writer photos are in her desk. why I brought them over to her. I'm very vain. That's true. He probably was like, I'll sign these for you after we fuck.

Speaker: And I just like that there, him and that cop are across the table from each other. He's like, fuck you, McCracken. Fuck you, Jack. Just going back, just exchanging fuck yous.

Speaker: It's so funny. And so now that like this man has been arrested for this crime, it's like, okay, we're all safe now. We're all good. We all know who the real murder is.

Speaker: Let me show you my surveillance room. I mean, i guess if you're in a relationship, he's already lied to her once. You don't want to have another big lie this soon, but this also does show that he wants it to be long-term. Yes. Yes. i let me So normal.

Speaker: But bold move showing your panic room surveillance cameras where you're just like, I've been looking at everybody's buttholes. Including yours. i'll leave a mean I've been listening to every conversation you have. I filmed us having sex without your knowledge or consent. Isn't all of this so... Look, it's exactly the same as what you do with your telescope.

Speaker: You watch those people having sex. It's like they left their windows open. You've been listening to my private phone calls and watching me masturbate.

Speaker: And how is that camera in the toilet not getting wet?

Speaker: I love though that his upset, like what sets up his TV, watching people in the building obsession He was a little kid whose mom was in soap operas. She was never home and always acting. yeah the only time he got to watch her or see her, he'd come home from school and watch the soap operas. Yep. And so he got rich and set up his own soap operas in his building.

Speaker: That's it. he's That's why he's weird. That's why he's weird. Also, his mom also has blonde hair. So, um you know, it's a little creepy there.

Speaker: Yeah, that's questionable that all of his girlfriends look the same, look like his mom. But, you know, that's probably being into blondes is not that fucking unique. Right now.

Speaker: No, that was. ah Yeah, it's pretty, pretty regular. Right. It's like the most regular thing about him, because my mom had a third nipple on her forehead. That's the only type of woman I date. It's like, OK. Yeah.

Speaker: That's weird. But blondes? Eh. And nobody could have predicted how quickly Sharon Stone loved it. Yeah! She got into it so fast!

Speaker: Sucker for technology, really. Right. Well, okay. So here's the thing. It's like she is locked in a soundproof secret room with the man who is watching everyone.

Speaker: And she's like, let me out. I want to leave. And he does. And so I guess that's the moment when she's like, I guess he's not dangerous. Maybe I do want to watch what everybody in this building is secretly doing in their apartments. And so he lets her just like play around with it. Like camera one camera three, zoom in.

Speaker: And there was not really a good sense of time in this scene. no It felt like a man who had just gotten a new copy of Madden on a Friday. yes And by the we're seeing um ah a time lapse where now it's Sunday. He has a five o'clock shadow. His hair is disheveled and stink lines are coming off of him. And he hasn't eaten the entire time. yeah Let's just say her hair's messed up and he isn't complimenting her smell at this point. Right. But like...

Speaker: they see so much crazy shit. So much. Everybody in this whole building is fucked up, right? mean. It was the first reality TV show. Yeah, I guess so.

Speaker: And she's totally entranced. And this is where we do, I did get to see a little bit of Donger. ah You did not. So sorry you missed it.

Speaker: And then she's like, do you tape these? Yes. yeah did you tape us oh yeah would you like to see and uh she gets hot watching the playback oh yeah he's rubbing okay um so she goes home and once fucking the book man is in her fucking apartment And he's like, you know who else died in the shower just like that old man

Speaker: Baldwin's mom, who looks just like you. He's the murderer. He set me up. And ah he gets her to like lure Baldwin down here. He's got a gun.

Speaker: They're confronting each other. Baldwin's like, you were obsessed with the the the girl who lived in this apartment. You murdered her because you couldn't get it up and you were pissed off about it. That's why you have a key to this apartment. And it's like, well, that actually does explain a few things. um Yeah. Except for the fact that you're a terrible landlord, Mr. Baldwin, because why don't you change the locks in between tenants?

Speaker: Right? Yeah. Be great to do. But, you know, some landlords are just lazy. So true. and And this guy can't even be bothered to buy a bed frame. So yeah, I'm not going to Home Depot. I'm in the city.

Speaker: So they're trying to keep it ambiguous through this whole bit. Like which of them is telling the truth, right? There's the struggle. um and then she ends up ah shooting in the struggle over the gun, ah the book man.

Speaker: And, um, well, aren't we all feeling good about ourselves now?

Speaker: I guess. I guess. She's like, so they're back, and you know, the cops have come and they're like, well, you know, sorry about all that, I guess. Um, well, I guess now we know who did all the murders. Um,

Speaker: Did you like when she goes back to Baldwin's house and finds his secret box with tapes and gun and a bondage magazine?

Speaker: Yes, I did. and in fact I liked it um because he has ah rigged up his own house with cameras so that he can watch himself having sex with people. And that is how she learns where his secret tape stash is is because when he goes to get the tape...

Speaker: Because she's like, I want privacy and real experiences. And he's like, yeah, Now that I have you, i don't need to watch you on surveillance camera anymore. so here you go. We'll erase this tape. But that means she gets to see where he keeps all his favorite tapes. And this guy has so much footage, Garrett. This secret tape stash should be his whole fucking apartment. Oh, yeah.

Speaker: he should have a storage unit. Like six or seven storage units. This is people. This is not digital. He does not have infinite fucking cloud storage. There's couple terabytes.

Speaker: I guess this is just his favorites that he keeps in the special drawer along with... ah Bullets in a bondage magazine. Bullets in a bondage magazine. The weirdest thing about him is that he, Bondage is pretty sexy. I just don't want anyone to know I'm weird.

Speaker: And so she sends him out for food so that she can raid his tape stash. And she sees that in the tape stash is footage of him fucking like every girl in this fucking apartment. He's fucking the dead lady.

Speaker: He's fucking the other dead lady. he fucked all these ladies. um And he says the same shit to all of them, which is, I love you.

Speaker: You smell so good. I bet they did. They looked clean. they Yeah, so both Vida and Naomi, ah he fucked them both, and ah he comes back and she locks herself in you know his secret room,

Speaker: and he's as Peekaboo. You see me. i hate him. This is the kind of shit he's saying the whole movie. Like it's supposed to be a killer one-liner. Yes. And he also ah goes full Marky Mark and starts screaming, open the fucking door.

Speaker: um Although he follows it up with open this cock sucking door, which I thought was a nice variation, you know? I'm going to throw it into mine my my rotation of things. exactly too yeah Open this cock sucking door, for sure. um and if She finally lets him back in um but she's got the gun and she's like shooting some of his monitors and he's like, hey, that's not okay.

Speaker: And then we see that the monitors are playing the murder. He had footage of the murder, of course, this whole time, but you know it's not like he could give it to the cops. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: where we do see that it was actually Berenger. And had to, cause the movie ends like a minute after we say this. um So I did have to go back and be like, okay, so wait, it was, which one of them was the murderer. Oh my God. this is the one time the footage isn't crystal fucking clear.

Speaker: what What's funny about that though, i mean, yeah, and she shoots out all his TVs as if the TV, he's going replace the monitors. All the cameras are still there. What the fuck? Well, he does shoot the, um she shoots the console too. like, that probably fucks some stuff up. It's going to be an expensive fix, but he's going to be fine.

Speaker: and her last line before credit is just, get a life. Yes. And so, yes, that does mean that Baldwin didn't do any of the murderers.

Speaker: And presumably, the old man really did just happen to break his neck in the shower. And that one genuinely was a coincidence. Happens all the time. Happens all the time.

Speaker: not old Not unusual. Well, okay. It was crazy, though, reading, because we mentioned the volcano shit. So... there was a whole different ending to this movie yeah with Billy Baldwin as the villain, like as the killer. Yeah.

Speaker: That they they supposedly, like, get married, and then, like, on their honeymoon, they go on a helicopter. he's like, flying it. Yeah, like, through a a volcano.

Speaker: And she's like, I know that you're the murderer, but I'm okay with it, because you've shown me how to to enjoy living life on the edge, I guess. Yeah.

Speaker: And apparently was a little ambiguous on whether or not they've just flew into the volcano and died That seems like i don't know how to end this fucking movie. So let's just kill them. 100%. But I guess the test audiences just didn't like her being bad at the end. So they reshot an ending. The Berenger ending is like just the new ending so that she could be a hero.

Speaker: I guess that she's with neither of the men, I guess. that I don't know. So I was looking up this helicopter crash. Apparently one of those men that in the crash was down in that volcano for like 48 hours before they could get him out.

Speaker: Yeah, because they actually accidentally crashed a for real helicopter. Did we mention that at the beginning? i don't think we did Is that while they were trying to get, you know, helicopter volcano footage, they crashed the fucking helicopter and thankfully nobody died.

Speaker: So that's good. But it said there were three men in it. They all survived. I think it was the pilot got out. A rescue team came and got the second guy, but then there was like so much smoke or something they couldn't find the third guy. and it was like two days of him being somewhere near a fucking active volcano before he got out. Can you imagine what was going through that man's head when he was down there being like, I'm going to die here.

Speaker: Also that people could see more of Sharon Stone's tits than they already saw in basic instinct. So, I'm going to die for this. And I think this was for B-roll footage.

Speaker: Yeah. It was going to be the opening credits that got replaced.

Speaker: Yeah. Insane. I'm happy everybody lived. Same. But, but goddamn, you lived in a volcano for two days so that this movie could get seven Razzies?

Speaker: Yes. That can't feel good, right? wonder what he worked on next. He might have retired. That might be it. Or he's somewhere with a fucking room of monitors now looking at people's peepees. Maybe.

Speaker: I mean, if so, I think he earned it. I didn't have a bad time watching this movie. I also did not have a bad time. I mean, it genuinely, because both men are so terrible, it was genuinely up for grabs which of them did it. Apparently, we didn't have to decide ah because they didn't decide who was the murderer until the very last second either.

Speaker: yeah And when we saw the footage Behringer doing it, I was like surprised. Yeah. Because I mean, through halfway through the movie, you're so decided that the man who's clearly bad and not just weird.

Speaker: Yes. I don't They're just, is there, I guess the old man was likable. I was trying to think, is there a likable male character? ah It is, if anything, it is the old man. And even he stalked her through the grocery store. So like, he's not perfect.

Speaker: I

Speaker: don't know. Don't date guys in your building, I guess. Certainly don't date the guy who has keys to your apartment. Either of them. Bad news. Bad news. Bad fucking news.

Speaker: Well, we finally saw a Sliver. This has been on the to watch list since we started this. and we still don't have a basic instinct episode. Someday. Someday. um Okay. let's let's let's Let's get to the meat and potatoes here. Let's let's get to the important question.

Speaker: Garrett, since you saw the unrated cut, were you aroused? Scale one to five. So yes. Yeah. The sex scenes were pretty good. They were like it's the the shower scene, the bathtub scene, but that runner's lunch, man, that did something to me that like, that's one of those, you can't unsee something. And I can't unsee Billy Baldwin in a runner's lunch. His hairy crack ah right there.

Speaker: Too much, too fucking much. And I have to dock it something, but what would it have been Without? Without. I got to hear yours. got to hear what you think it is. without so that I can figure out what it is with.

Speaker: Okay. So yes, watching her when she's masturbating, it's good. ah The pole sex scene, I enjoyed. ah The sex scene where she looks like she's going to cry the whole time was not that hot because i felt bad. i felt bad watching this, right? Like, I don't want to watch a woman...

Speaker: on the verge of tears the whole time she's having sex that sounds sad it was sad um so i have to dock it a little bit for that um again like the the panties exchange at the table would have been hotter if it weren't for that gross way he said panties.

Speaker: um if Honestly, if this movie had been made with Brad Pitt, it'd be five out of fucking five. Good God. Even throwing Mickey Rourke. Young Mickey Rourke at the time. Yes.

Speaker: um As it stands, I guess I'm gonna give it a

Speaker: Two and a half or three?

Speaker: Three feels right. her But that feels right for me. So that makes me feel like I have to actually go lower. Well, I mean, I get it. If you're not turned off by Sharon Stone sniffling and holding back tears while she's riding your dick, I mean, that's fine. You're into what you're into. Okay, fine, too. You've sold me.

Speaker: too much almost butthole as old man butthole don't know I mean it was ah it was like on paper a pretty hot movie I guess lots of things are hot on paper and not you know just didn't work for me yeah it's like um the difference between ah fantasizing about something and then actually doing it sometimes it just doesn't make it in translation were you thrilled though scale one to five stabbing in the hallway was scary off with a bang to with her getting yeeted over the balcony.

Speaker: Um, him chasing her and her like hitting him with the fire extinguisher. The honestly, just the reveal that it really was him. Yeah. That did it. And that the other guy's just fucking weird. That's crazy. That was that's easy crazy.

Speaker: Yeah. And I'm okay with it. Honestly, I think it's more interesting that they're both terrible men. I think I'm going to go three and a half. I'm feeling that.

Speaker: Maybe even like, maybe like a three and a half light for maybe. Yeah. I'm right there with you actually, because I genuinely was curious which of them was going to turn out to be the murderer.

Speaker: ah because they were both so terrible and she has such bad survival instincts. Um, um, that I didn't know how dumb she was going to be. i had no idea. And the fact that the bad guy has a soundproof secret room um it makes it very easy for you to be murdered there. That's super creepy. Yeah. People keep letting themselves into her apartment. That's scary.

Speaker: i mean, this movie earned all seven Razzie nominations. Yeah. ah Well, way more than cliffhanger or last action hero. It's the dumbest thing about cliffhanger is that he doesn't have a coat. i think that's kind of fun. LAUGHTER

Speaker: The dumbest thing about cliffhanger is those carabiners are way too powerful. They would never break.

Speaker: I just love that cliffhanger had to have the little ah ah explainer at the end being like, we had to to fuck up this carabiner so that it would break. These things are actually quite strong. Okay.

Speaker: Would you ruin your life? Furrah Baldwin. Who invited you on a sexy weightlifting date? These are, I mean, we're no stranger to bad men in these movies, but these, these two are, I mean, if we're throwing around the word putz so much at the beginning.

Speaker: found the putzes. We found them. They're right here. These are the putzes. No, neither of these men have a redeeming quality that would be worth getting fucked in a runner's lunch. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Speaker: Neither of these men are hot enough to overlook the fact that they have broken into my apartment. Just like smoking in the apartment was an immediate no, even in the nineties. Fuck you. You ask.

Speaker: Come on. i mean, maybe she, he did off camera and she is such a fucking pushover that she would have definitely let him. But I don't believe that he asked. True. And here's the thing. Neither of us have our Sharon Stone in this scenario where we've been in like a seven year long bad relationship and we're scared of mirrors for some unknown reason. And our best friend is trying to get us to go to Pavarotti operas in order to meet men. We're not the level of of sad and pathetic and desperate that she is.

Speaker: But we're also not as hot as she is. She's Sharon Stone in the 90s. She's Sharon Stone in the 90s. Girl, you can do better. I mean, you were turning heads in a goddamn winter coat and a beret. Mm-hmm. Nobody could see anything. There was four inches of face. You were carrying like eight boxes. No one could see your body.

Speaker: Everybody could just tell from the aura. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh... No, i'm not I'm not ruining my life for for either of these putzes. You're right. That's the's the proper word to use. um They make me deeply uncomfortable ah the whole time.

Speaker: I wish she had a night to at least think about the guy's TV room. But it's funny that he really opened up to her on that because there's no way he showed those other women. No, no, no, no. This was love.

Speaker: He meant it this time. As soon as he's like, okay, she knows I'm not a murderer now because someone else has been arrested for murder. Now I can show her my secret surveillance room.

Speaker: he I wish we had seen the runner's lunge video and she's like, that's what you were doing back there? Uh-uh. No, Terrible angle. Terrible angle. tear at it Re-edit. Re-edit. Honestly, you have so much control over these cameras and this is what you wanted?

Speaker: You're really full of yourself, aren't you? Honestly, though, I can't help but think about what this movie would have been like if they had gotten Brad goddamn Pitt instead. ninety s Brad Pitt? 90s Brad Pitt? My God. he was a handsome specimen. I would have ruined my life, even if he had broken into my apartment multiple times.

Speaker: I don't have a problem with it. Do it. 100%. Totally different movie. ah percent totally different movie There's a handful of people that if I come home and they're just sitting in my house, ripping a cig, telling me they want to fuck me.

Speaker: Calling me a whore and and talking about spermicide. It's Christmas present. I'm overlooking all that. And Brad Pitt is one of them. ah Neither of these two men is at all. I like Major League.

Speaker: I'm a fan of the major major league one and two. Yeah. Watched two a lot more as a kid. You going to fuck the guy from major league? I'm not going to fuck the guy from major league. I just, I don't know. he didn't show anything, but he didn't get it. He didn't get a crack at anything either. He was, that's that's how fucking bad he is. Mm.

Speaker: the Yeah, that she never even gave him a chance. Her work buddy was willing to go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with him. She almost got murdered, apparently.

Speaker: Welcome to hell, everybody. Let's get the hell out of here. This is... yep We have given too much time to sliver. I'm glad we watched it, though. It was it was fun. um I think it's like a worthwhile bad movie night kind of movie. It's not a good movie by any means, but I had fun and it surprised me. Yeah, I saw some movies.

Speaker: Good. Certainly not on the level of cop and a half. Come on now.

Speaker: Cop and a half might be better, to be honest. but I have more fond memories, but I saw that in theaters as a kid. So that was the only one on that list I actually saw on the big screen.

Speaker: Yeah, because the others involved way too much sex for you in 1993. Because my dad didn't take me when I was six or whatever. to Body of evidence with Madonna. Yeah, no fun. Daddy, why is Willem Dafoe dead?

Speaker: Well, son. Well, son. Oh, my God. All right, everybody. Rate, review, subscribe. EroticThrillerClub at gmail.com. Questions, comments, concerns, suggestions. I guess, or leave the things on Spotify. Apparently you can leave messages there too. That's where we heard ah the suggestion for this one. So we're always happy to hear.

Speaker: That's true. And that's where I found out that whatever we said Anna to Armis was a million years ago was wrong and that she's Cuban. And you know what? Thank you. We love to to learn.

Speaker: Yeah, please correct me. But youre yeah you have to be specific because we say a lot of things on here. And I'll be honest, once I've said it, it probably disappears from my head forever. Left my brain for all time.

Speaker: erotic thriller club on instagram and um tell a friend tell a friend tell your your creepy neighbors at your apartment um you know complex uh that's all i got yeah thanks for listening we love you wet your snails fidelio pigman we want to shake naked meet you alive open that cocksucking door

Speaker: Oh no, no, no, no!