Over The Line (1992)

Transcript

Speaker: Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, your conjugal visit bus pass and gather around the radio. It's time for this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club.

Speaker: Hypothesis, mysterious and dangerous And oh yes, they've got all the sexiest movies out of the ages So if you're fatally attracted to the racier stuff Arotic Film Club Basically instinctively craps the salacious Arotic Film Club If you want a racier movie and you're too classic for smart

Speaker: Elaine is a fancy intellectual who's on the brink of a promotion to a prestigious job. To get said job, she has to teach Charles Dickens to a group of dangerous inmates.

Speaker: What starts as some harmless Dickens turns to some more salacious Dickens. What starts as a one-way ticket to conjugal visit heaven quickly turns to a real nasty situation.

Speaker: This week on the Erotic Thriller Club, Over the Line. Or out of control. Whatever it's called. Hey everybody, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan here. And this is where we discuss the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused?

Speaker: Was I thrilled? And would I ruin my life for this person? Oh, Garrett, this one starts off so strong. It is the hottest open... Ha ha ha ha ha!

Speaker: I almost told you how the movie starts so that you would know you didn't click on the wrong movie. I did think that. I did think that. ah Like when I started the movie, i was like, this can't be.

Speaker: this is This is a white lady rapping. The opening is so confusing. This is a music video. It's literally a music video. yeah Is it?

Speaker: Is it? It is for sure a music video? I mean, it looked like one to me. There's people dancing and... Costume changes. Costume changes and... Right?

Speaker: It's even shot like a music video. But then like partway through the music video, you see... you know, a very sexy man walking towards the stage and you're like, okay, okay. And then there's cuts between the music video and them fucking.

Speaker: And then in the music video, like he gets arrested and she's um like, or something. And she's like pounding on the police car as it pulls him away. So like there's exposition in this white lady rap music video.

Speaker: Folks, this the character's name is Candy. And as the movie starts, there are actually moments where I didn't know if our protagonist was actually also playing white lady with dreads.

Speaker: um But the rapper lady rapper's name is Lady B. Pearl. I can find no information on this. I couldn't find a single thing. She doesn't have a Wikipedia page. This is the only thing on her IMDb.

Speaker: This movie does have a soundtrack that was released on compact disc because she wrote... One, two. she wrote four songs for this film. And her songs narrate. There are five. i wrote five from the end credits.

Speaker: so Crazy, Joe Set Me Free, Nasty Situation, Sweet Thing, and I'll Be Waiting. Because every time a is That's said nasty situation in the open. a oh and Every time there's a radio playing, it is her music.

Speaker: Corpus Christi is is is eating this shit up. It's not the worst music I've ever heard.

Speaker: But it is a white lady rapping. And if you need an idea in your head of what it sounds like, this movie yeah is 1992 or 93. I've seen differing dates for this film, but it sounds very much late 80s, early 90s rap.

Speaker: Think if a white Czechoslovakian lady was doing songs from House Party. Like these are kid and play songs from a white lady with dreads. They are what songs?

Speaker: ah In the song, she says she's Czechoslovakian multiple times. What? She's like, I'm a Czechoslovakian time bomb or something like that. I missed that entirely. Oh, that is adding layers upon layers to this character. What?

Speaker: What? At one point late in the movie, ah one of the cops threatens to throw her in jail. And she says, for what? And he says, for impersonating an N-word and doing a bad job of it.

Speaker: And I was like, I don't approve of your language, sir. um Nor do I approve of the sentiment behind it. But I do think maybe we should put her in jail. It did feel like she was committing some sort of crime. Some sort of crime.

Speaker: Yeah. it Yes. And I got to say that every time the music started up, I was like, is this like a preset? Like, does this not sound like something that on like a, you get a keyboard, right? And then when you push one of the buttons and it comes out with generic rap beat number two, and that's this one.

Speaker: That's how Damien Auburn made the Gorillaz song Clint Eastwood. It's a preset on a a keyboard he had. You know what? I have to say, um if I had to choose, ooh, I think I'd rather listen to Feel Good Ink.

Speaker: I think that the inaccessibility of these songs make them more desirable. And how am I going to find this CD? I would love to listen to Feel Good Ink. Great.

Speaker: But I want these and i I didn't even look, but I assume they're not on Apple Music. I assume they're not like, I think the only way I can watch these is this song, this movie. Yeah, you're just gonna have to rewatch the movie if you want to jam out to um nasty situation again. Which I feel like we do this early on need to let our audience know this is streaming nowhere that we could find. It's on YouTube.

Speaker: it is Okay, i was going say, I did find out while I was trying to do some research. It's on the Internet Archive. so if you go to Internet Archive, it's just free to watch online. And ah please do. Yes, do yourself a favor.

Speaker: Please watch this fancy lady have to go to prison and fuck white Roman Reigns.

Speaker: Yeah, because this is not our protagonist, the the the crazy lady we've been describing for the past like five minutes. she she She is an ancillary character that the movie forgets about for a good, I would say, 30 minutes after this.

Speaker: How long did you spend, though, during her music video? As it gets pretty deep into the video, you realize her stage set, the one piece, that there's two pieces of set dressing. The background is kind of like a garden trellis.

Speaker: But then on stage with her are two items. One is a trash can. The other is a toilet. That is art, Garrett. That's art.

Speaker: So the artistic set. This is all very 90s like coded for like that street. it did It was supposed to seem hard that she was wrapping in front of the shitter. It wasn't like so the set decorator being like, I'm going to put two things out that describe this music, toilet and garbage can.

Speaker: I mean, it may have been a coded, you know, referendum on her rap ability. But um no, I think that was intended to show just how gritty and real she is.

Speaker: mean I mean, I know that in like, it was like Oz Fest 99, 2000 when Limp Bizkit was main stage. Their main set piece was an enormous toilet that they all walked out of because they, people, the critics thought their music was shit. Didn't Katy Perry come out of a toilet in her, um when she had, when she did her residency in Vegas, she climbs out of a giant toilet. So see,

Speaker: Maybe they were inspired. They were inspired by this film that they probably saw in USA at two in the morning when they were nine. Yeah.

Speaker: So why is our our main gal when we we meet up with her? Yeah, Dr. Fancy Hat is what I wrote her down as before we get her name because she's wearing a very fancy hat. she Always dressed for the Kentucky Derby. Absolutely. She is British. Is She was doing like a British accent.

Speaker: Huh. Did That would explain. No, I will. Sorry, you watched this whole movie and didn't notice she was doing a British accent? So I think what confused it sometimes is like, she seemed British the same way Frasier Crane seems British.

Speaker: You're just pretentious, right? It's just a pretentious voice. 100%, yeah. Plus, her neighbor, in quotes, is so British. That's true, that she seems less British by comparison. Yeah, like, if you close his eyes and you're just like, what's this person wearing? You're like, pith helmet.

Speaker: Like, there's no...

Speaker: Yeah. ah No, I'm pretty sure she's trying to do a British accent. It's not a transatlantic accent like they used to do in the old days. she I'm pretty sure she's putting on a British accent.

Speaker: Well, our two main leads in this are both soap opera actors. So that would give you like she did like 800 episodes of like Bold and the Beautiful or the other one. I don't know.

Speaker: Either she was on Bold and the Beautiful and the man was on Young and the Restless. One to flip flop. Who gives a shit? Both very pretty people, though. Very pretty people. And so this professor lady is doing a, you know, Q&A about her recent book called Eve's Daughter, which out the description of it and then the questions that were asked in her snarky response to it were all fucking incomprehensible to me. Yeah.

Speaker: I tried to write it down and I didn't. I knew the words were all in English. That's all could get. Yes. All these words are words I know. And listen, I have bullshitted my way through many an essay in ah an English lit class.

Speaker: And ah what they were saying made no fucking sense. Like, I i couldn't even pretend to tell. i didn't know if it was saying that women are immune to sex. Women are um the ones who are, have power from sex.

Speaker: Or if women have like control of their sexuality. Like I could not figure out what the relationship was between women and sexuality. Right.

Speaker: in her book, which is clearly all about women and sexuality. I mean, I watched them. The man asked the question, delivered the dialogue like a nervous actor who is given way too many lines right before they called action. Yes, yes.

Speaker: And I watched it three times. I rewound it because was like, what are they talking about? And i my conclusion at the end of three watches was, going to let Kit handle this one. You fool, I didn't get it either.

Speaker: Like, women are moths to a flame. And she's like, yes. Sort of. Yeah, he's like, are you saying women are like moths to a flame, but like they're not going to the flame anymore? And she was like, maybe.

Speaker: and i was like, is she going to say something dumb like the moths the flame? And I was like, no, it was even dumber than that. It was... I think she was... I think. i think that she was trying to say that women...

Speaker: Women's weakness is that that they want sex, but that the modern woman is strong enough to resist temptation, which seems insane to me.

Speaker: Because, like, i don't think that jives with, like, history or literature at all. Well, she's a different kind of intellectual. Yeah, she's the kind that is absolutely stunned when someone tells her that costuming can have symbolism.

Speaker: Wild. Wild. we'll We'll get to that. I will say, before we even get to a British neighbor, I waited desperately to watch him be murdered the whole movie. The whole time. the The moment we met him, I was like, let's 86 this neighbor. God, they made me wait.

Speaker: They really did. They really did. So yeah, she's got this this British professor guy who, yes, Garrett is correct. Sounds like if you closed your eyes that he should be wearing a pith helmet. um He shows up constantly trying to to wo to woo her, to get her to come to his place for coffee, to be invited into her place for coffee. Listen, the man loves coffee. He would love to have coffee with you. Please can we have coffee? And she's always like, nah, brah.

Speaker: Sir, just try and fuck an American lady in Corpus Christi. She'll be charmed by your pith helmet ass voice. Yes, she will. can't be the only other British person who is immune to your bullshit. Exactly. She's the only one who's immune. The only one. You you fool.

Speaker: get Clearly not that much of an intellectual. Go analyze clown outfits somewhere else, fucko. Also, he does have the dog with him, which he like he shows up at her house in a boat because she's on the water and he's brought his dog with. And I'm like, that dog's gonna die.

Speaker: I know how these movies go. The dog lives, bro. The dog it shows up right at the moment of peril and then disappears and is not murdered.

Speaker: A dog that looks like it could save the day. yes Nowhere to be found. That thing's like a German shepherd, 100%. That thing should have sprung into action. Bite a wrist that drops the blade, you know? like Right?

Speaker: Okay, so the the conversation, though, that results in this woman working in a prison yes is such a three-line nothing throwaway with no explanation. nope I don't really understand her job. I know she's an author, but now she's going to be the dean of a school, but to be the dean, she has to go to rapist's Charles Dickens. Yes. she So she is a literature professor who is also an author. That's a thing that happens.

Speaker: And because her book is so successful or whatever, they want to make her dean of the the literature department. Okay. But in order to do that, she has to teach a six-week course to prisoners about literature.

Speaker: I love our little... Yeah, yeah. And the movie doesn't want you to ask too many questions about No. It blazes past this. It's like, blah, blah, blah. She's here. She's here. She's a hat. And then, like...

Speaker: she's here she's he she's got a hat and then like You see the prison. I love our little prison montage. It is my favorite shot in it is a man who is, he's not like super overweight. He's not super fit, but he laying like a teen girl at a slumber or like yes in her bedroom, like thumbing through a teen beat, but butt ass nude in his cell. Yes. And,

Speaker: It didn't make prison not seem fun. No, didn't. This is a weird prison, too. This is a weird prison. Like, almost exclusively a white prison. It is a highly white prison, which is why when we are in the yard and we see a bunch of people gathering around a black guy so an old man can beat up this also kind of old black guy. i was like, oh, this this is like a this is a racial thing, obviously. Like this is the skinheads beating up this black guy. And then there's a black guy, one black inmate in prison.

Speaker: the group of people crowded around like cheering him on and then we find out no it's nothing to do with him being black it's because he's gay yeah we're beating up the gay guy and i was like that okay but it is overall i would say 98 percent white prison I mean, it's been a long time since I've been to Corpus Christi. So like, I don't, feel I have been there. Don't remember. um For any of my old podcast listeners, for any old predetermined listeners, the man who is very homophobic throughout this film, which I, am I mistaken that his name is Harper Collins? Like the publisher? I think, I mean, his name is Collins. They call him Collins. He says his first name when he's introducing himself in in book club. And his name is Harper Collins. It'd be really funny because clearly whoever wrote this is not like ah an actual literature like literature major.

Speaker: And so it'd be really funny if they were just like coming up with names and they'd been looking through a couple books to like pull out some quotes for the movie. And they just saw the name Harper Collins on on ah you know the spine of a book. And they're like, eh, that's a good name.

Speaker: Oh, but to finish my thought about this man, this old man, this old homophobic man, he looks like the pro wrestler Necro Butcher um currently.

Speaker: i don't know i don't get that reference. i To me, he looked like if um Colonel Sanders shaved everything but the mustache and then was balding.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And he is really the most confusing character that deserves a spinoff film. 100%. Because he's gay. He's gay. He's gayest man that's ever existed. He's so gay. He only wants to beat up the gay black guy whose name is Rayette. Who's his roommate? Who's his roommate? He's his roommate. He's his roommate. You're telling me you followed this guy that you say you want to beat up for being gay to his literature class to look for quote unquote more opportunities to beat him up But you live with him. You could have killed him in his sleep weeks ago. You just want to fuck him.

Speaker: And you feel like whenever you're in public, you have to say and do homophobic shit so that but you don't lose your reputation. As just a racist... look I assume racist. I don't want to... probably I assume he's racist. I assume that is just a given. i don't want to judge a book by its cover. But I've opened a couple pages of the book and he's... I don't like what I see.

Speaker: yeah he's... The the the book would be would do well in certain circles. um yeah na it She teach gets to this class and they go through and introduce...

Speaker: the folks that are taking the class. Let me see. Some of whom don't even give their names, by the way. um Like, terrible class introduction. I'm so sorry. I'm looking at my notes, and I... i I left out a line when she finds out she teaches at prison now oh and has no choice that it we have to mention. It would be fucked up to not. She said, she congrats on the new job. And then she said, there's just one thing you should know.

Speaker: And she goes, okay. And she goes, prison. and she says, prison? And that's 95% of the conversation of her trial. teaching of why she has to do this which does make me wonder if every department at this school has to do this like if you're dean of the physics department do you have to go teach physics to prisoners like is is that how this works if so fascinating

Speaker: I mean, I'm not saying we shouldn't teach literature to inmates. It's a nice thing to do. It's a very nice thing to do. I don't think anyone should be, like, forced into it in order to have a job. It's an odd job to have sprung on you to do a more prestigious job. yeah It seems beneath her. Well, she certainly thinks so. Yeah.

Speaker: But she gets in there and she's just like basically doing her first day in the yard. Like, what are you in for? They go down the line. I'm Hector Ramirez. I steal cars and hearts. Then like a dork ass guy. She's like, I am bezel.

Speaker: yeah There's only like six people in this class, by the way, it is a pathetically attended, attended literature class, considering how smoking hot the teacher is. You'd think that place would be jam packed.

Speaker: Well, that's why guy number three is in there. admits, like, I looked at the book flap and Saw you were hot. You're hot. I'm in here because you're babe. That's why Joe's here. That's why Joey Hot Prisoner is here. He also looked at the photo and was like, apparently, i wanted to see you.

Speaker: i wanted to touch you, is literally what he tells her after he saw her picture. The funniest two responses, though, of why are you here...

Speaker: You would think she would have loved the gay man. The gay man was excited to take the class and is once again, like, I don't know what he was saying. It just felt like somebody wrote some Shakespearean nonsense. Yeah. He's like getting all poetic. He's getting very poetic to her and like clearly like excited to be in this class. Like I'm gay. I read. This is fun for me. I like this. She is just rolling her eyes to the back of her fucking skull. Cause he's not hot. Yeah.

Speaker: She wants a hot guy to say poetry to her. And Harper Collins is in this class because he hates gay people and wants to beat them up. Yeah.

Speaker: Which is the funniest. It's Mark Wahlberg and the other guy is like learning ballet to make fun of the gay kids. Yes. Absolutely.

Speaker: Yeah, they all have insane motivations. um i Some of them don't even say their names. And um she then ah tells them that their assignment is to find a book...

Speaker: either dickens or mark twain read the entire thing by next week and submit a book report and they should also pick out something in there that speaks to them personally something you are ashamed of something you fear something you feared yeah we start off with the easy stuff um and like

Speaker: And then the class is over. It was 10 minutes. I'm like, what is this lady complaining about? Apparently she only has to do this for like 10 minutes. It's the drive up there. This is before podcasting. This is before potentially CD players and cards. They had books on tape.

Speaker: I know they did. She could have been listening to something. Just, I'm sorry, but like, no one and not even in a college class, would you assign someone, hey, you've got a week to read all of a Dickens novel. Those things are wordy as fuck.

Speaker: She assumes they got nothing but time. I guess so. I mean, kinda. Kinda. Yeah. kind of But it is also a very vague essay. Like there's not, this seems to be like, because she's not teaching them all the same book.

Speaker: Directing to write into as well. like Yes. There's absolutely no useful ah um pedagogy going on here.

Speaker: None whatsoever. Pretty, like nice hats, not necessarily a good teacher. No, and she is a professor, so like she's not just a random author who like I've never taught a class before. Presumably, she's taught freshmen...

Speaker: like English Lit 101 classes, this shouldn't be that hard. And you know what else wouldn't be hard? To get everyone a copy of the same fucking book so that you can teach one book at a time to everybody.

Speaker: I did appreciate in certain English classes when the teacher let you choose your own book to write the book report on. Did they do that the very first class? It was freshman year high school English. So kind of.

Speaker: Kind of. A little bit. um you know it made it it made it nice you get to read what you want rather than some some book that is going to make you resent reading a little further down the line well they got two choices dickens or twain and um so she goes home and rubs ice on her nipples This

Speaker: is a normal response. I loved the shot of her lounging in her robe with a glass of champagne at like ah laying out by the water and just feeling sorry for herself. It was genuinely incredible. It looked luxurious. It looked delightful.

Speaker: It did. Like until she gets bothered by a British guy on a speedboat, she was really living her best fancy life. Yes. Yes. And just, just wallowing in that pity party of, I had to spend 10 minutes with annoying prisoners.

Speaker: I love that when we go back to the prison, And she basically, this is where things pick up for me in a way that's starting to make me wish there was more character development. Cause she's like, you all did great. You all pass except for one. Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And it's our hot boy because he wrote a fuck letter instead of saying. Instead of ah turning in his assignment, he hands her a love letter that um basically is like, I'm going to fuck you.

Speaker: You're going I don't know what to say. I'm bad at communication. But like you're just going to lay there and naked on a bed with and you won't say anything. You're just going to,

Speaker: part your legs for me a little bit and and then i'll come and i'll enter you and we'll both uh you know climax together and that'll be fucking amazing and she ah gives him a ah letter in return by pretending it's his essay that she's ripping up and and and giving back to him as a failure and it's like Basically saying, bitch, unless you talk fancy to me, I ain't, this ain't happening.

Speaker: Finish Huck Finn and maybe. Finish Huck Finn and maybe. And yeah, he's talking about how what he read was Huck Finn and he really related Huck Finn.

Speaker: And she was like, because Huck Finn also stood up for a black guy? and he's like, no, just just being on the river. I like boats. I like boats. I like being on the river. And she's like, so you feel adrift. And he's like, I didn't say that. She's like, is it because of your daddy issues? And he's like, i don't know what she's talking about.

Speaker: Wait. Oh, I guess we kind of fully left out how he gives her the letter. Oh, yeah. Which is he angrily leaves the classroom. He did not like being um interrogated about why he relates to the character of Huck Finn.

Speaker: Then he pulls her into a... It seems like the prisoners really have a lot of freedom in this prison. Absolutely. Under the the wheelchair warden. Yeah, i forgot to mention we have our fancy-hatted, you know, with big Stetson hat wheelchair warden. um He comes back later.

Speaker: But he pulls her into this closet that is just houses sloppily discarded chairs. Yes. it is the extra chair closet. It's the, it's for extra chairs and they have a little bit of a dialogue and she says something about like, we're all in pain, but women handle pain better.

Speaker: And that really upsets him. He removes a pin from her blouse and, And starts stabbing himself in the arm and is like, take it back. This doesn't hurt me. Look, take it back. We're not the same. Yeah. And I was like, she was like, give it back. And I was like, girl, don't touch that. You're going to hepatitis. Stop it. You can keep it.

Speaker: You can keep it. Maybe let the guard know. Yeah. Yeah. Because you were just thrown out of your class because he he fucking trapped you in a closet and then did creepy shit. But he did he kiss her at this part?

Speaker: ah Here's the thing. She doesn't want any part of this until he's like, what do you want from me? You want me to tell you about how my dad hit my mom until my mom drank rat poison? And she's like, yeah, that's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Speaker: Tell me about your daddy issues. And then she rewards him for opening up about his daddy issues with a makeout session. and it's like, She does come to regret asking him to open up about his trauma.

Speaker: It turns out she is not a therapist. She is a literary professor. And um real people's trauma is not a fucking metaphor. this is not an allegory.

Speaker: She forgets that that doctor in front of her name means something different. Yeah. Yeah. I love, he's just like, he leaves her in there after making out, pulls the letter out of his dick and is like, read this. When we see her go home and read this letter, it was better than any TV cliffhanger I've ever had. Because we don't get to see the letter. We just see her reading as she goes, son of a bitch.

Speaker: Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Then she goes out to play racquetball with her BFF and actually reads the letter to her friend while they're in the sauna together. This was hot as fuck, Kit.

Speaker: Yeah. She's reading the letter as tit sweat is dropp just dripping all over the letter. It literally shows sweat dropping off of her tits on as she reads like a penthouse forum letter. Yes. Yeah, that's exactly what what is happening.

Speaker: um And so ah then she has herself a little tummy down masturbation on the floor. um What is it with these movies and tummy down masturbating? They fucking love it It also looks good if you're on your back.

Speaker: Then your tits are up. Yeah, but shell you get a little butt on this one. And also this movie has... Very minimal nudity. Very minimal. But for some reason, i feel like it was edging me like he did to her in the part of the chair closet. where The whole movie just edged me enough that I'm like, five star hot, hot people doing hot things, but not really.

Speaker: And then we have a ah horrible cut to some mimes dancing to saxophone music. Garrett, how'd you feel about this? within minutes of this, moments of this scene, is when I was like, just kill the neighbor, please, Joe.

Speaker: I didn't know how he was gonna get out. I didn't know how he was gonna kill the neighbor, but I was like, we must kill this man. We're watching two mimes frolic. We're putting too much thought into the mimes. We're talking about the mimes too much. I hate this so much. He's interrupting her mime watching to talk to her about mime symbolism, and she's like, what do you mean? do mean?

Speaker: costumes can't be calculated they don't symbolize anything and I was like you're really bad at literature it's like they're goofballs he can't get out of that box yeah don't you see uh and he's she like he's trying to be like so what do you think it symbolizes and she lays out like i don't know good and evil i'm like you are so lazy in your interpretations that is a freshman answer you are a dean

Speaker: I mean, it really is up to the writers who put minimal effort into all of this, but i'm they need to put minimal effort because when they try hard in the literary portions of it, it's just word vomit.

Speaker: Yes, because the British professor starts word vomiting at her about like the the black and white representing masculine and feminine and also like light and dark, but not necessarily like, you know, as literal as good and evil, but like the temptation, sin and goodness. And I was like, shut the fuck up.

Speaker: it's No, it's it's insufferable and it makes you feel dumb trying to solve a puzzle that can't be solved. Yes. Or that doesn't need to doesn't need to be solved. because you you're the You're the ones who put mimes in a movie, okay?

Speaker: You should be apologizing to me.

Speaker: But after our closet touching and masturbating masturbated in all this, we get our lady rapper back in a way that's wildly confusing. But I also don't care because the movie takes such a weird twist. She pulls up blasting her music so loud.

Speaker: And she yells things at our protagonist's house that we can't hear very well because the music's too loud. Too loud. then throws a duffel bag at a door and drives off. Yeah. It's, it's a dry cleaning bag. It's even, it's even weirder. And she's like, you only get one. And it's like, what and she's like, I'm gonna want all that shit back. Yeah.

Speaker: and And again, she drove up, I'm pretty sure, listening to her own music. Oh, yeah. Which is a wild choice. ah Love that for her. This woman is clearly batshit crazy. Yeah. And I love it.

Speaker: She may have had some sort of Gary Busey brain trauma down the road that like made her think she's someone other than who she is. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Like, she can still drive. She's functional.

Speaker: But maybe she shouldn't have her license. like Maybe not. But ah inside the dry cleaning bag is a sexy outfit, a wig, and a conjugal visit pass, baby.

Speaker: So Joe has presumably called his girlfriend. on a monitored prison line, by the way, and told her, go find this lady's address and give her clothes and a wig and your conjugal visit pass.

Speaker: And she has agreed to do it because she is the most supportive girlfriend. Very supportive, but also our doctor, our professor, our our smartest lady in the movie okay hops the bus to Conchicle Visit Town, no questions asked. None whatsoever.

Speaker: i need... okay a Richard Lanklater style hangout movie of a bus full of women on the way to a conjugal visit, just talking amongst themselves. I did not think that this was what conjugal visits were like. Admittedly, i I know nothing, but I didn't think they came by the bus load. Like I assumed you could just show up at a prison in your own car, like any other visitor.

Speaker: um Not that you're required to be on a bus and then marched in a big line through security and a cavity search and then like down this hallway. Let's paddle prisoners.

Speaker: Like, it's fucking crazy that they, you're right. Like, they do just, like, march them in off a bus to all get railed. Yes, yes. And, um, so she gets up to to the security thing where she's, like, checking in.

Speaker: And the guy asks for her ID. Just the conjugal visit pass. we're We're not checking your driver's license against what's on the conjugal visit pass. He's he's not that, um...

Speaker: Not that diligent. But also, he noticed that one of these women was had put on some weight. He was like, hey, you put on some weight since I saw you last. And she's like, I'm pregnant.

Speaker: So this guy pays attention, this guard. And yet he does not notice that Joe's girlfriend has gained a British accent.

Speaker: That's true. He really knows these ladies. And... It actually is a mistake. Yes, if you had established that this guy's barely paying attention, that'd be one thing. But you established that he knows these women, recognizes them, and notices when something's different about them.

Speaker: And then for some reason he just skips this one over. Yeah, she really should have left a note in the duffel bag that was like, hey, go rent house party one through three, watch them all tonight, and then talk like that tomorrow at check-in.

Speaker: um Also, Rayette, our black gay guy poet, um totally clocks what's happening. It does not come back. it does It is not relevant. He's ride or die. He's happy that his ah English teacher is getting laid.

Speaker: Yeah, he doesn't want to ruin getting to go to English class, even though she's less than pleasant to him. Yeah, even though she is not nice to him. Okay.

Speaker: As we sit here, I Googled, because I had an image in my head of what an actual room for a conjugal visit might look like. Sure. I was picturing maybe a couch and a lot of fluorescent lights.

Speaker: know. Like a very bright white room. assumed there was a bed. i'm And then I thought, oh, this is like nicer than I would have expected. Conjugal visit rooms are nice.

Speaker: Well, in his. Oh, his one. Yes. they They have like a gauzy curtain and a little shower there. The actual conjugal visit rooms I'm looking at online as we speak are nicer.

Speaker: That's nice. They're a little more colorful. Like, um, ah at least some of them. Oh, there's some that are like a mini fridge and a bed and no bells and whistles, but like still a mini fridge.

Speaker: That's pretty good. Yeah. You put yeah put your sodas in there if you're allowed to bring those. Um, but I don't know what to say about a conjugal visit. It, um,

Speaker: I mean, it seems fun. It does. um i will note that she like takes off the wig and somehow her hair was done under the wig in like a floofy sort of side updo thing.

Speaker: And I was like, how'd you manage that, bitch? um And when she comes in, he's in the shower. And so he gets to come out. He is hunky. He is a hunky boy. He's broad. He's ah toned. he's he's he looks good wet and somebody knew it because they get him wet as often as possible.

Speaker: Please don't think I was kidding when I said this guy looks like white Roman Reigns. Like he is the size of a pro wrestler and that is very important to remember for later.

Speaker: Yes. um He wipes all the lipstick off of her mouth with his towel. Yeah. And then in the next shot, it is all back. Yeah. That lipstick was a high quality stuff. She, she knew she was about to go do some, some kissing. So she got that, you know, the stay on kind.

Speaker: was Was the sex scene good to you? I mean like the sexy jazz music was nice. It was a, That's the thing. This sex scene didn't look fun to me.

Speaker: We've seen a lot, and I mean a lot of sex scenes. And this one, I don't know, something about their little grunts and ah the breathing and the angles on it where it's just like watching her face um as she's like getting railed. And I was like, oh, is she not having fun? This doesn't look fun.

Speaker: I think the bus ride probably put a damper on her day. I bet it was a lot sadder than she was expected to be. yeah She had also just been cavity searched. That would put a damper on on my day for sure ah The room isn't cute. It's very gray. and He goes down on her for two seconds before he's back up and thrusting inside her. So I don't think he's all that generous of a lover. and um They're both hot, though. They're both really hot. And I wanted to find it like, ooh, sexy, but no.

Speaker: Was her shower at the end of the sex scene, was that at home? I couldn't tell. She's just like tits against the wall. Yeah, that's the other thing. like she She looks miserable. looks like she was crying. She looks like, yeah, she's she's she's flat up against the shower wall um facing it as the, the you know, it it looks like she's sad And then everything that happened was consensual. Absolutely. Like nothing looked...

Speaker: Like it got too out of line. Technically, if anyone was not consenting here, it's him. Prisoners can't consent. She has power over him.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, I mean, he put in the bat call for her. like He threw up the bat. I'm just saying, legally speaking, what she did inappropriate. Over the line? yeah I think some might say she went over the line for sure.

Speaker: This movie was shot as Inside Out. Then it was titled Out of Control and then somehow we ended up at Over the Line. But they say things throughout the movie like this is to the edge or to the limit. It felt like they were just really throwing out words trying to figure out the title. Somehow and one of these is going to stick and be a good title.

Speaker: we have Which is weird because over the line feels like the closest one to to making sense because she has gone over the line professionally.

Speaker: um But they never really talk about that. And I don't think she ever experiences any real consequences. Like, it's not like she loses her Dean position even after they find out she fucked a prisoner.

Speaker: Yeah, even Michael Parks, he's the only actual famous person in this film. He's our new warden at the end when he's like, I'm a little disappointed that you didn't tell me that you fucked this man. I get it. I understand carnal pleasures. I'm not here to judge. You should have told me.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So, yeah, and then, like, after her shower, you see her laying naked on the bed in like, a heap. And, again, it looked like a position you might get into while crying. oh yeah. After a shower.

Speaker: It was a real like moment of shame for her, which is reasonable. It did feel like a shameful thing she just did. Like there was no love. She's at a job and just banged a prisoner that that sort of assaulted her earlier that she has no real connection with other than just like he's a real fucking hunk.

Speaker: He is a real fucking hunk. And more so than that, he admitted to her that he has daddy issues. And that's apparently the problem with the British professor is that he never told her about his daddy issues, which I'm sure he has. You just didn't ask him a bunch of veiled literary references that weren't all that veiled to try to dig at him.

Speaker: That's his big problem. Oh, and he's not a hunk. Sorry. He was not a hunk. He's not a hunk. That's main problem. I can't overstate enough. This guy's a hunk. Yes.

Speaker: Will I ruin my life for this hunky inmate? I think I am going to say yes by the end. i think i would is cover of a romance novel hunk. He is... Any of his acting... like i I don't know. like I was too enamored. I was in his eyes. I was looking at his muscles, is his beefy butt. like This guy...

Speaker: You know, he's probably one of the hunkiest dudes we've had in any of these movies. Yes. And so... um and What happens next is that the girlfriend shows back up.

Speaker: And she's like, because she's gotten a call that says that, um, Hunkmeister has gotten himself an extra conjugal visit for next week. And he would very much like it if she would come.

Speaker: And the girlfriend's like, you get one fuck for free. And I love that she lures her out by putting a fucking like boom box playing her music in the professor's living room to like draw her out so that then she can threaten her with a knife.

Speaker: It's so funny that she does come out that hot with, little like, I told you one. But if, from our protagonist's point of view, when she dropped off the duffel bag, if you heard what it sounded like from inside her house, it was probably just like, boom, boom, boom, boom Definitely did not hear you say one for free.

Speaker: She definitely did not hear you say put all the stuff back in the bag and leave it on the doorstep for me. She didn't hear any of that. she heard was thumping bass. She wasn't a note that she said son of bitch to a million times as she read.

Speaker: So ah what I love is that our girl ah Candy pulls out her little switchblade and then knifes the fuck out of a pillow. Ruins it.

Speaker: Absolutely ruins it and says that like, you think you love him, but you don't. Joe likes to hurt girls. Do you like to be hurt? Are you going to be willing to put up with that?

Speaker: And um our genius professor says, you're crazy. Don't call the crazy lady crazy.

Speaker: She's in your house with a knife, stabbing the fuck out of one of your decorative pillows. Don't call her crazy. Well, she'd miss she only took psychology 101 and they didn't get there in her gen eds.

Speaker: This is survival 101, bitch. Oh, that is very, that is terrible survival instincts. It's awful. We've seen so many protagonists know when to play along and when to, to, to, to say whatever they want to hear. Not this girl. She never does that.

Speaker: And she's standing there holding a knife and our protagonist, like, instead of being like, I swear, I won't call the cops. She's like, you better get out of here. I'm going to call the police. Yes. At which point she says, yeah, call him.

Speaker: Tell him you want to fuck a convict, but his girlfriend won't let you. His girlfriend won't let you. And i'm like, yeah, she's got. Yeah. You can say that, though. It's OK to say that like you.

Speaker: I mean, you probably committed a crime by pretending to be her to get into the prison, but like not as big of a crime as breaking into someone's house and knifing their pillows. Yeah. Oh, that's absolutely vandalism. But maybe under a certain extent. Like, the knife out does make it more threatening, so I think it will increase, like, maybe bodily harm was on the table. 100%. It's threatening. And she presumably broke into the house. So that's burglary right there. burglary. The destruction of a Pier 1 Imports pillow, though...

Speaker: I would say is under the limit of something that is going to be felony level. No, it's not going to be felony level, but I mean, this is misdemeanor harassment probably.

Speaker: What will the judge say about all the hissing she did? and know. God, she spouts out all this crazy, philosophical, semi-philosophical, semi-poetic, slam poetry style shit about like the cold of the streets and ends it with, ah!

Speaker: Class dismissed. Water just came out of it. I apparently timed that just right. I fucking got you. Got you, bitch. oh ah

Speaker: Class dismissed. What is the relationship between Wheelchair Warden and Joe Dial? So wheelchair warden, yeah. I don't think we've mentioned yet that Joe's last name is Dial. Like D-I-A-L. And that's weird as a name choice. Because people call him by his last name so often.

Speaker: You are making me think with the HarperCollins thing and this, is literally a guy looking around his room. And saw a phone and was like... Dial. Well, he's a guy. He's just your average Joe in prison. Done, Joe. ah Dial.

Speaker: Yeah. um ah So the relationship between them, I believe, is... so our our warden needs stuff fixed. And I guess Joe is a handy, electrician-y type of And Joe also is famous for not saying anything.

Speaker: Like, he's a very the strong, silent type. um Is that due to acting abilities or character choice? Por que no los dos? Ha ha!

Speaker: And so I think our warden finds it very therapeutic to have someone in his office that he could just talk to about whatever. i think God, at one point he's like, you guys don't know how lucky you are because you don't got a woman nagging your ass.

Speaker: No women here at all. And I was like, interesting. A lot of armchair therapy sessions in this movie. Absolutely. Everybody's looking for therapy in all the wrong places.

Speaker: I guess this when a wheelchair therapy session.

Speaker: So, yeah, the day of the conjugal visit comes and the girlfriend shows up instead of the hot professor and our man does not take it well.

Speaker: No, he's pissed because he... Okay, did he earn the conjugal visit? How does one acquire them? ah ah You get special privileges, apparently, if you do little favors for people. So he said he rewired the warden's office.

Speaker: Rewired it how? For what? Well, he was sitting in there doing electrical work. Yes, and that is apparently what earned him a conjugal visit. you kidding me? Like the barter system in prison between warden and prisoner is like, Hey, if you fix that lamp, I'll let somebody come suck you off. yeah And he's like, awesome. Yeah. Great. well yeah Yeah.

Speaker: That's exactly what happens. That's, that's a pretty good day. So yeah, his, his girlfriend shows up with like a box of cookies she made and he slaps it right the fuck out of her hands.

Speaker: He's very disrespectful to her. And all she wants to do is love him. Yes. he's And then he slaps her after she refers to the professor as the bitch with the educated cunt, which I love. i i just do in terms of an insult.

Speaker: It's just, it's not poetic. You need to take it back and become like a radio talk show therapist. And that is your like branding. Yes, I am the bitch with the educated cunt.

Speaker: And I'm here to help you with your emotional problems by making you think about Huck Finn. You have just as much of a qualification as anyone in this film to give advice.

Speaker: Abso-fucking-lutely. Maybe more, because I had a psych minor, and I don't think lady has shit. Except even a bad understanding of what allegory is.

Speaker: but but When she explains it, she's just so all over the place and so wrong. She's like, it's like symbols. You use symbols to talk about real things. It's like,

Speaker: ah You're not given a great explanation, Prof. Do you think that the ah the the screenwriter was supposed to include what an allegory was, but just put in quote-unquote parentheses, actress explains allegory? then she just had to fucking riff? You you you know improv, right?

Speaker: Yeah. yeah Yes, and. Go ahead and yes, and on what an allegory is. She's like, I don't know. Is that like... animal farm? And he's like, a yeah, yeah, yeah. One take. That was it, everybody. And we're on lunch. Nailed it ah Yes.

Speaker: um So back to the the girlfriend gets the shit slapped out of her so hard she's bleeding. And she's she's like laying there on the floor as he's walking out on her.

Speaker: And she says, I know I'm a dreamer, but my dreams are so beautiful. I would do anything for you. I can see why he doesn't want to be around you anymore.

Speaker: Everything you say fucking nonsense. It's embarrassing. It was, it would be somebody who's embarrassing to bring around your friends. Yes. Cause she speaks entirely in slam poetry. Yeah.

Speaker: And it's a white lady from Czechoslovakia. Yeah. With braids and um weird backwards hats. Yeah. I wish we had the lyrics to like, after she stabs the pillow and it cuts to a song about her rapping about Joe having problems. I wish we had all those lyrics because the cut I watched, I couldn't even have subtitles. Garrett, could we clip out some of the music from this movie and put it it is in our outro?

Speaker: Because I don't think anyone's coming to copyright claim this shit.

Speaker: If the episode's late this week, it's because I did try and take some time to do that. But yes, then we get our musical break as she raps about how like Joe, I'm leaving you. going to get me a new man.

Speaker: Break the chains and set me free. And cannot express to you how much I love an unexpected musical interlude in a movie.

Speaker: oh And you get them so often in this one. And the fact that it's all by the same artist. And I use artist as strongly as I can because she is.

Speaker: What do you think the deal was with her? Like, I can't look up any information. She doesn't have Wikipedia. Was she fucking somebody who made this movie? i know. I don't know. and They were trying to launch her career as a rapper based on this movie. Maybe.

Speaker: This did get a theatrical release. Brief. Brief. But it was in some theaters. But she never did anything else as far as we can find. So I i don't know.

Speaker: yeah I have no idea. and She put out a valiant effort. She did. She did. My question is, so at the end of her little rap session, which is sort of another music video, um we get ah a reply verse from a man. Mm-hmm.

Speaker: m It's talking about how like you can't leave me, baby, you know, whatever. Is that supposed to be Joe? Is Joe rapping in our musical interlude also?

Speaker: Like a fantasy version of like her him wanting her back. yeah Yeah, probably. i mean, she's unhinged. She's not a sane person.

Speaker: ah She also does like before the knife thing seem pretty harmless to Joe. I don't know. I don't know what to think of this woman. She, once again, there are like five characters in this movie that could have their own side movie. Absolutely. I need more information on. And this woman, like if I found out right now, I could drive across town and buy the soundtrack to this and add more of her music.

Speaker: I'd be in the car. We wouldn't be recording. I need to hear more tunes that aren't specifically about this film. Yeah. I'm pretty sure they're all specifically about this film.

Speaker: For the rest of her career, whatever career happened. Where is she? Like, we got to figure out. I don't Because that's not her real name. don't But apparently this whole incident has scared off the professor and she is not interested in this shit anymore.

Speaker: She's over it. Once a crazy ex-girlfriend shows up at your house and knifes your throw pillows, you're done. No It's a lot less fun.

Speaker: So, uh... Yeah, he got ratted out, apparently. She's been replaced by a different professor, a man this time, so maybe Rayette can get fucked instead. You know, that'd be nice for him.

Speaker: um So now Joe doesn't get any more conjugal visits. um The warden is real mad, real disappointed. um My question is, ah why why she did not finish her six weeks of required visits prison teaching time.

Speaker: what what Why does she not lose her deanship? Because it was a nonsense job all along.

Speaker: I mean, we don't know that she isn't going to lose it. I don't know that the school has found out yet that she lost this job. She's only talked to a few cops about it. Yeah, I i think she used she was like, see, he sent me this weird note.

Speaker: I can't go here anymore because it's scary. And that's how she got out of having to do it anymore. They were like, Oh, you poor thing. i understand.

Speaker: Funny that they're just like, this piece doesn't matter in this film. No, it does not. The important thing, though, is right after our warden tells Joe he gets nothing. He will have no privileges anymore. no conjugal visits.

Speaker: No classes. No, i don't know, Akko Tuesday, whatever it is. um He then still wants this dude to fix shit for him. So he hands an inmate...

Speaker: a drill then turns his back on that man to get on the phone.

Speaker: I don't know that the drill hurt his spine. That was my question. I was like, depending on why this man's in a wheelchair, this might not have even, he might not have even felt it. He's dead, but it I don't know that it hurt him.

Speaker: So if you're looking for a silver lining to the warden's death, He went peacefully. don't think it didn't look peaceful.

Speaker: He was screaming. So that would imply a little bit of pain. But yeah. Yeah. And then our guy. This preposterous. Yes, it is so wild. Puts on the warden's clothes, including his big hat, which he just sort of pulls low over his head. gets into the warden's wheelchair and no one questions this. No one even looks at him. They're like, that's a guy in a wheelchair with a cowboy hat. Must be the warden.

Speaker: There's no way they even use the same actor. because we we also don't see his face throughout this, the lead actor in this film is beefy as hell. Yes. The guy in the wheelchair was a pretty skinny guy who's been in a wheelchair a long time. Like a guy who's been in a wheelchair a long time. Yeah, no one notices that this brick shithouse is here instead.

Speaker: Like the guy who pushes his wheelchair every day, the guy who pushes the wheelchair every day didn't notice there's another like 60 pounds of muscle here. We needed a three minute scene of him trying to fit his dump truck ass into those little atrophied leg pants, man. like Which presumably also is covered in blood you drilled into his spine.

Speaker: i don't know how that specifically works. Like, did he have the jacket on when he did it? Did he put the jacket to cover the whole... Yeah, that's what did it.

Speaker: Yeah, multiple people talked to him. Do people in wheelchairs even bleed? So glad that someone's asking the hard questions here. um Yeah. And so this this very bad prison um lets him escape.

Speaker: The driver, ah you know, is looking in the rearview mirror like, hey, what do you think? The Astros got a chance this year. crazy this is insane kid why did he do what he's about to do this is fucking crazy they're driving like 40 miles an hour yes yes yep but you don't and then he takes because they handed the warden warden back his gun he just shoots the driver in the back of the head while they are yes he didn't wait until they were at a stoplight absolutely not

Speaker: He's not even strapped down. He's literally sitting in the back of this van in a loose wheelchair. this i dangerous Brakes are probably on. I don't think, but like, he's not seat belted in. he is going to be catapulted through the windshield when this wrecks into a tree or whatever happens off camera.

Speaker: Yes. ah So we see that our our a professor is at home dreamily writing about how she stepped back from the edge, never to go near it again. And she's so proud of herself in her own sick way for the fact that, like, I went out and had a real experience. I flirted with danger, and now I get to write a book about it.

Speaker: Which, God, i I hate her for this. hate her i hate her i hate everybody at this point i'll ruin my life for them all but i don't like i don't like you and so the the fucking police warden folk not the warden but the the the prison guards is what i meant the prison guards finally come into the office and see that like there's a prison jumpsuit on the ground and blood coming out of a cabinet

Speaker: And they open it up to see the dead warden and we are one written in blood on the inside of the cabinet.

Speaker: And theyve they lock the prison down ah and the prisoners- Prison gets so much worse. It was loosey goosey before this. It honestly maybe needed it a little bit. They definitely needed to tighten down things. They yeah were letting things go way too easily, but they would go way too far in the other direction. When you hear them list off the number of things they're not allowed to do, like no one's getting a conjuable conjugal visit, no one's getting classes, you know everything's canceled. breathing off limits right we're bringing uh food to you you can't go to the cafeteria reading privileges have been revoked I was like bros can't even keep their copy of of Harry Potter or whatever like you're gonna go confiscate all their books that Harry Potter is definitely what Harper Collins was reading in there like he would love a transphobic author

Speaker: Yes, and so, yeah, they can't do anything, but they can fight their cellmates, and that's when we find out that the homophobe and the black gay guy are cellmates, and for some reason, despite the fact that he tried to beat up this guy in the yard and followed him to class, he's been living with him the whole time and never attacked.

Speaker: He didn't murder him in his sleep. And the the gay guy beats the shit out of him with relative ease. Yeah, you know, maybe that's why he never beat him up in prison, like in the cell is because he knew he'd lose. He needed to be surrounded by a whole gang of guys in the yard in order to actually win the fight.

Speaker: um You know he loved him. yeah He loved him so much. They were going to be a couple. He didn't want to be a couple. Bashed his face in off the jail cell.

Speaker: yeah so Oh my god, speaking of jail cell. Yes. Earlier in the movie when his girlfriend, when when rapper lady shows up and is like, I'm here for the conjugal visit. And he's like, no, I'm not doing this. He leaves and we see him just walk through the jail, go to his jail cell and pull it closed. Yeah, apparently that's how you can do that.

Speaker: You can just do that. He closed the door of his room. He's like, you will not get me in here. He has special privileges. And those privileges include extra conjugal visits and wanderer pass. Yeah, wanderer. gets a wander pass.

Speaker: And yes, access to the chair storage so that he can pull ladies in there. 30 minutes of free wander. Yes. So our homophobe dies, just to clarify which one kills who. ah Which just goes to show that this lockdown is an absolute failure.

Speaker: And this prison, even when it's trying to get its shit together, absolutely sucks. um And so ah now we get to see how how ah our man is faring now that he's on the outside.

Speaker: He's smuggled in the back of his ex-girlfriend's car. ah She doesn't know he's back there for a while. Yeah. We're in Texas. That was probably hot as hell back there. No kidding, actually. They keep saying like that it's like 98% humidity.

Speaker: they They make that very clear. um She's haranguing him about like, what did you mean when you wrote... We are one.

Speaker: du Was it it me Who are you one with? And he's like, it's definitely you, baby. It's definitely, definitely you. And the cops have already showed up at the professor lady's house house to ask if there's any literary significance to we are one.

Speaker: and she's like, nah, I don't think so. i don't know what he could mean by that. But she really didn't like all of the cops having to investigate this. Like it was putting a damper on my good time of having let them do anything. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like everyone could have sorted this out on their own without the help of the police.

Speaker: It makes sense, though, that when she she ends up going running to the British professor, that the first thing he does is call the cops that he seems like the fucking type. Oh, and what a fucking joy for him that when he calls the cops, theyre like, we think it's best if you just stay here with this pith helmet guy. Right? Not go get a hotel room.

Speaker: No, we're going to keep you here with this weak British man to keep you safe. He's got a German shepherd. You'd think that would help. You'd think they would have noticed that the German shepherd's name was MIA.

Speaker: Yes. So... so Uh, they, they managed to, ah Oh God, this is the best fucking part where our girl has like dropped him off.

Speaker: Right. that, uh, you know, he can lay low for the night and she comes to, to pick up her car the next day and she drives around town talking to him the whole time about how, uh, you know, we're going to be together. going to start our lives together. She tells him, ah ham are you ready for this bit of poetry?

Speaker: Oh my god. Young sweet thing, give me your ear. Feel the rhythm, yeah, the rhythm of the love I got in here. Stick my head in your hand, trap me, I don't care. In quicksand, eat me, my big brown bear.

Speaker: Ow!

Speaker: Goddamn. And then he wasn't in the fucking car. Okay. She never checked that he was in the trunk when she left the next day.

Speaker: I think while all that was happening, i kind of assumed that she was doing that to get the cops off her trail by pretending she was talking to somebody in the trunk and he wasn't there. So she really thought he was back there. Yes, because she's like, Joe, you did it again. like she's The look on her face when she opens the trunk is that she expected him to be in there and he was not. And that's why she's heartbroken and pissed the rest of the movie. Yes. Yes.

Speaker: It's because she she he had promised that he would see her the next day, and she brought him clothes and was planning on getting him out of town, and then, nope.

Speaker: He left. He just ditched her. Where does he go? Well, he goes to the professor's house. There's a line from this scene that might end up in our are closing lines. Oh, really?

Speaker: There was a line that really tickled me that he shouts at her, but we'll get to it. We'll get to it. So, yeah, she she's ah she sees that ah Elaine and Joe has been written out in rose petals on her bed. Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And she's very upset about it. ah she She pulls out her gun and she's like pointing it around wildly and screaming it like, Joe, get out of my house. I know you're here. It's a lot of, what I know what you did last summer, like what are you waiting What you waiting for?

Speaker: And then ah he talks her down so easily. So easily. He's like, you're not going to shoot me. And she's like, no, I'm not going to shoot. No, I don't know how to shoot somebody.

Speaker: You broke my heart. I'm in your brain, Elaine. I've been in your body.

Speaker: We've been in your brain. We've been in your body. That's going to be with wet your snails. We've been. Yeah, because i he does. He's he's so upset.

Speaker: She forced him to talk about his trauma. Oh, and because that's what gets her off. And then she left. And Real Hellraiser puzzle cube of opening that box that we did not need to keep that shit buried. You fucked up, gal.

Speaker: Oh, God. the The fact that um and that that he then leaves and we get this little weird montage of like he's driving a car and she's driving her speedboat and there's music. Ladies rapping. Yeah.

Speaker: And ah you shots of...

Speaker: There's rapping about how I'm crazy. She's crazy. We're all crazy. Crazy women. um We see him like piss and litter. He pisses on his truck. what On his truck. Yeah. He gets out to piss outside and just just pisses on the truck and then tosses his whiskey bottle or whatever. That explodes. It makes like an explosion sound. Why did he get out and piss on? I get like pissing facing your truck.

Speaker: So that like people don't see you peeing. Yeah. But he, the angle he was at, there was nothing. i mean, I guess it's probably not his truck. I almost certainly stole that truck, but that you don't have to piss on their truck after you stole it. That's just disrespect. It is It is insult to injury. it's My truck smells like piss. Why? So baby.

Speaker: Turns out where she's on her boat to is the British professor's house. um And they've called the cops ah and they're like, look, it's OK. We're going to put a cop lady in your house and surround her with police so that if he shows up, we're going to catch him.

Speaker: You stay here with this absolute wimp of a man. um yeah and we'll leave no cops to actually watch you because we just have faith that we're going figure it out. This will work. Can you picture a break in where that guy has to like weekly throw a copy of Pride and Prejudice at the beefiest man I've ever seen?

Speaker: Uh, and you know what? The Brit professor is very supportive. He's like, I'm not going to judge. I'm not going to ask you too many questions. You know, like I'm just going to give you some fancy espresso all the way from Rome.

Speaker: And maybe we fuck later if it makes you feel better. No, he's not getting any. He's going to get killed for and get nothing out of it. um Joe is kind of smart with how he figures out how she's there. yes this is a little bit clever. Yes. Describe for the audience.

Speaker: he makes his ex-girlfriend make a phone call to Elaine's secretary to figure out where she is. And they try and patch her through, which I would love. Did we hear the accent she made the phone call in?

Speaker: ah She's just, I did not, it didn't sound like she was covering up her fake ah black accent very much. But they call and she's like, okay, it's going through. And then they get the British guy's voicemail who says his full name. Yes. In the voicemail. So now we know he's at the British house.

Speaker: Yes. She's at the British guy's house. Yeah. And he also figures out that the, ah that her house is trapped because he's like Rambo. Yeah. He sends like a flower delivery guy to deliver flowers and then watches as the police instead of putting a lady cop in there to pretend to be her, like they said they would, it is just a man in a wig, like mustache and everything that opens the door and they assault the, the flower delivery guy. Meanwhile, Joe is in the water wet and glistening. Watch appears back underneath to where he lives as a man. Like an aquamarine with the hunkiest dude.

Speaker: It's really good. um but yeah, Joe's back with his girlfriend. He's like, it's for revenge, though. where i'm i'm I'm over her. I love you. Not her.

Speaker: Be with me, rap lady, so we can get our revenge. The beach scene of our gal walking the beach is a really bizarre one because it does appear to be a pretty private beach. Not a lot going on.

Speaker: Then she's suddenly almost run over by a hundred Jeeps. Yes. Driving through the beach. And then the other direction. The other direction comes horses. Horses. And as soon as they go by, they're all gone. She's still just on. It was like she was playing a game of Frogger on the beach where just more shit keeps coming that could almost hit her and her dog.

Speaker: And then she writes, i will prevail into the sand with a stick. Yep. We watch it get swept away. She definitely seems like the kind of lady who gives herself affirmations, you know? And this this was one of them.

Speaker: I love that we when we go back to the British guy's house, we basically walk onto the set of Knock Knock. Yes! Yes! Yeah. This guy's been doing fucking art in the apartment. He trashed the fuck out of this place.

Speaker: ah though that There's graffiti of we are one, number one, always bitch, a whore, love kills, a sad face with like a tongue sticking out was my favorite.

Speaker: um love that and then she's you know looking around like horrified by this trashed place with graffiti all over the floor and then fucking Joe's dead body comes flying down from the the second floor hung from the noose and she screams and runs out and then runs into the British guy and the dog has disappeared because yeah I thought the dog would be useful the dog's gone the This scene is so bizarre because they hit us with the swerve of a twist. Yes. That didn't, wasn't going to make any sense. None.

Speaker: But made me be like, okay, I guess. I mean, I'm ready for you to explain to me. Because when she goes in the garage, the garage door raises to the British man looking crazy.

Speaker: horribly menacing yes yes i i absolutely thought it was gonna turn out that he had killed joe and he was like also obsessed with her and uh had like done somehow orchestrated this in order to drive her into his arms i didn't know how they were gonna do it but that's exactly what i thought was going to happen too It didn't make sense because they purposefully shot it for him to look evil. Yes. But then the next shot, he looks like such a pussy again. because he's an absolute pussy as he walks back through his ruined house and sees that the noose is now empty. And you're like, oh never mind. Never mind.

Speaker: Cause I was more angry that I wasn't going to get to see him die. And they gave it to us. He, you Joe stabs the shit out of Mr. Pith helmet.

Speaker: Yes. Uh, just, just absolutely wails on him with that knife. Quack, quack, quack. Lots of blood. Like, lots bloody, bright red blood coming on that night. Like, giallo blood. And then he's screaming about how I'm suffocating. I'm suffocating. i can't communicate myself to anyone. No one understands me You don't get to see beefy boys like this cry about mommy very often. So it really felt fresh and new. Mm-hmm.

Speaker: it was but It's like now he's screaming at um the dead body on the floor, pretending it's his dad, pretending it's his mom. And I'm like, oh, not so sexy now to make people open up about their parental trauma.

Speaker: Is it? um I died and you didn't give fuck. Fuck. Yes. That's the best part is like, he's mad that she didn't like, just, I guess, cry when she saw his dead body hanging there. well he was in the process of dying up there and she didn't try and cut him down, which he really did that. So is he like Brendan Fraser in the first mummy where he's just got like a beefy enough neck that he survives a hanging? i mean, if anyone could, it's this beefy boy.

Speaker: this This is a hard neck to snap. that You couldn't fit with both hands. I couldn't get around this guy's throat. Uh-uh. And, um, yeah. So she learns a lesson about don't, um, try to trick hot prisoners into talking about their parental trauma, um, through literary, uh, illusions.

Speaker: Um, maybe they should do that kind of work in therapy instead. And we don't do that in prison. So just shut up and teach Twain. Just shut up and teach him about Mark Twain.

Speaker: um Yeah. ah He makes her take off her bra and panties and all I could think was like, wow, lucky she's wearing a strapless bra today. Otherwise she'd have to do that really complicated, like getting it through the armhole thing. Cause he wants her to take them off without removing her clothes first. It's for show and tell. Cause there he's, ah he's reverted to being a child. Yes.

Speaker: Or something. Or something. It don't look too hard into it. he He's lost all of his marbles. um And the shirt did not require a strapless bra. So it's justs sheer luck that that's what she was wearing that day. It was the day of the week. it was It was laundry day and that was the one that was free. That was the one. And so then he makes her say, come to mama, Joey.

Speaker: And she will say that. But when he says to say that she loves him, she won't say that. And she just doesn't want to say it and not mean it. And that is it's dishonest.

Speaker: Yes, and it it just goes to show that her survival instincts really are quite terrible. They're quite shit, yeah. I mean, she tells the crazy lady, you're crazy. She tells the guy who just stabbed a man in front of her, i don't love you.

Speaker: um And I was like, did you expect what happened next? Because I thought the dog was going to come in. I thought the dog was going to come in and he would kill the dog, but it would give her a chance to like get a knife or a gun or something.

Speaker: And then she would kill him. Well, however, her not saying I love you back really helped the crazy woman see that that she's not part of this problem for her. Yes. This this is all Joey's own problem.

Speaker: Yes. And so ah the the the ex-girlfriend saves the fucking day. She she pumps him full of lead. And then we get one more music video before it's over for some reason. Here's the thing. I feel like if this woman saved your life, you owe her because you are an established author. You probably got connections to like the university press as well. You have to publish her book of slam poetry. You are required.

Speaker: Yeah. At least let her talk to your agent and try and get some representation. Absolutely. Maybe you hook her up in the music side of things or something. You have to. Am I crazy? Yes.

Speaker: ah And so what a song it's, yeah, they she starts spitting out some, some more slam poetry about, um you know, we just got to live to see another day and ah you know, move on with our lives. And then the weirdest cut into the generic rap beat preset number three.

Speaker: um And then that's it. That's the, we end with the end credit rap. Do you think, to obviously this isn't a good movie. No. oh But I saw a lot of things and I heard a lot of things that I'm not mad that I saw and heard.

Speaker: I feel blessed, honestly, to have been introduced to lady Lady B. Pearl. is that what it is? Lady B. Pearl. Yeah. I feel honestly, truly blessed.

Speaker: How do you feel about my instincts of being able to read a plot description for a movie and be like, that's the one for this week? You were correct.

Speaker: yeah We had not seen a conjugal visit movie before. no And that really captured my imagination. And I'll be damned if it didn't go way weirder than I've ever even pictured.

Speaker: No, I saw in it mentioned in the the the description that like he has a rapper girlfriend. And that turned out to be so much more insane than any of us could have predicted.

Speaker: I'm just sad that we don't have more movies featuring her or any information about this woman. Was she a figment of my imagination? Was I the killer the whole time? Maybe. And she's not real.

Speaker: Maybe. Maybe.

Speaker: But her sick rhymes were real. And what else is real is your arousal level. Garrett, were you aroused? Scale one five. Pretty high. Pretty high. Despite the relative lack of of nudity.

Speaker: And the sex scene. Garrett, the one um the the only one and only real sex scene. We both agreed.

Speaker: Yeah, and then even, I guess, goddammit, I'm about to talk myself out of this movie being sexy because the times that I saw her naked and she had a nice, nice duchus, she might have been crying. Yes!

Speaker: Fuck! Yeah. But then again, there's that sauna scene where her boob sweat is dripping down onto the sexy letter she's reading. That was a lot of heavy lifting for my numbers.

Speaker: I'm going to go three and a half based on that sweat hitting the letter and the butt and the, I don't know why I'm going so high, but I was like, you know what? Sign me up for prison. Like the cops, I'm not here to judge ah your your your your love of flirting with danger.

Speaker: ah That's your personal life, and that's none of my business. I've had some cute English teachers over the years that like maybe this entered into like part of a fantasy I've already had I can't have a fantasy about an English teacher who's this terrible at her job, Garrett.

Speaker: Hmm. Once again, though, i'm I am American, and she has an accent. If I was also British, I would also be like, oh, this is a British dumb person.

Speaker: But instead, everything she says sounds smart, so I'm fine with that. I'm to put it at a... I'll give you the boob sweat and the...

Speaker: That they are both really attractive people. They're really pretty people. He is a hunk of hunk of man meat. He could pick me up over his head. He could. And he's got them smoldering eyes. oh my God. And the longish hair. Five o'clock shadow. And they're like, this guy, yeah.

Speaker: I'll give it a two. I can't go more than that. Because the the fact that she looked so miserable after the sex is a real downer. It bums me out. And that's the only reason it's not a five. yeah

Speaker: and Honey, you it would raise score if you just smiled a little more. The sex itself didn't do much for me. a correctly yeah It it confirmed my suspicion that conjugal visit sex would be a little bit depressing.

Speaker: It's bummer. Yeah. all right. Were you thrilled, though? One five. when the British guy menacingly opened the garage door and and they hit me with a twist for no reason, but it was really a twist on a twist. Yeah, because it's exactly what you thought the whole time. There was no reason to ever believe there was going to be a twist. And then my brain is just spinning, trying to figure out why the British man is somehow a criminal also, but isn't, that's that's not nothing.

Speaker: we even know why Joe was in prison in the first place? No, we see the music video and then in his sex scene with, I assume the rapper lady, the most, the weirdest thing we see in the scene before he gets arrested during that is that she like squeezes a ah lemon on his chest or something and they lick it. Yeah. what Would have loved to see the sour face. I don't think that is what got him arrested, though. ah Like, she makes some reference to, like, maybe he killed an ex-girlfriend who cheated on him or something. I don't know. It's not clear.

Speaker: We didn't mention that HarperCollins is in there because his wife got syphilis and he choked her. Yeah. Maybe, I assume, killed. Yeah. I actually think he's the one who got syphilis from all of the um gay sex he didn't want to admit. Unprotected. Unprotected in various gas station bathrooms that he was having.

Speaker: um But it was easier to just blame it on her and kill her for it. Yeah. But his story is for another time. Yeah. But you see, I mentioned this because I feel like watching Joe ah fall the fuck apart over the course of the movie, he starts off as kind of a hero. He's the one who stops the gay guy from getting the shit kicked out of him. He interrupts the fight.

Speaker: Right. So you're like, oh, maybe he's a good guy prisoner. And then it escalates a lot. She asks too, too many questions and it unlocks the crazy part of his brain. yeah And now a British guy's dead as well as the but the warden. warden and the driver. Like he he does start to sort of indiscriminately kill at that point. And she's not into that.

Speaker: So I would say watching his escalation was a bit thrilling. I'll give it three. don't know. What are you going to give it? Oh, um, I'll go two and a half.

Speaker: Okay. That's fair. It was fine. It was fine. No, I mean, it's kind of funny that like, uh, there was a dog I expected to, to get into a fight that didn't, there was a gun I expected to go off hers that didn't like, they were fine with fucking with our expectations, I guess.

Speaker: Yeah, and you know what? My expectations were low on the amount of truck pissing and rapping I was going to see in this movie. Would have been wrong on both. Exceeded in every possible way. And Garrett, here comes. Yes? Are you ruining your life for sexy prison man, Joey?

Speaker: Yes. yeah Smolder. Smolder. Like, you it's... He's a beefcake. He's a hunk. he's he's He's everything I've ever wanted in a man. Honestly. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah. um And here's the thing. I don't think it would ruin my life. Because, yes, I would ruin my life for him. um But I don't think I would be poking around in his his parent trauma.

Speaker: i wouldn't wouldn't have gotten that far we would be too busy conjugal visiting yes i'd be too distracted by his beefcake body to even think about like oh but if he told me about how his dad was abusive i'd be so much more turned on right now that's not how that would work this is not what we're wasting our conjugal visit time on ah Absolutely not.

Speaker: No. Yeah. We're both going to ruin our lives for him. Are you going to ruin your life for the for the the professor lady? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Yeah, I am.

Speaker: I don't know if I need to even go into any explanation. she says she's i mean She's a pretty lady. She's a pretty lady. She's not a very good professor. She's not a she's a terrible therapist. have to listen to.

Speaker: it's like the same reason I wouldn't want to be with the rapper is like I can't stand to hear you talk oh I would but I would ruin my life for her too this is like this one hit a hat trick of I would ruin my life for the three leads and I don't know that's ever happened in any of these movies no you are going to the way you ruin your life with the rapper girlfriend is that you bring her around to all of your friends and family and she won't fucking shut up speaking in slam poetry the whole time and it's very embarrassing and then you can't bring her anywhere and she gets mad like why don't you bring me around your friends more are you ashamed of me only she says it in a more slam poetry way and ah then she ends up going crazy and killing you please don't question my decisions here

Speaker: I'm not worried about her ruining Thanksgiving. I've got other relatives that are going to be doing other shit that's like equally as annoying that people are barely going to notice the dreads lady at the end whose music is kind of okay.

Speaker: Oh, God. And she's going to insist that every room she walks into has to be playing her music. Every day with Lady B. Pearl is a conjugal visit. And...

Speaker: Live your life like you're having a conjugal visit every day. And that is that is what I took away from this film. Actually, no, fuck. No, because they're not fun. Some of them might have had fun. Ours didn't. I get the feeling that some of the other ladies were having fun.

Speaker: i think you got to know what to expect. I think your first one, the cavity surge throws you. Yeah. It puts a damper on the rest of it. But when you go back for seconds. You know what to expect. Yeah. It's coming. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: And then Patrick, I'm I will conjugal visit this whole cast. Wow. I would not. i would not. i don't think I could handle like the thing about Mr. Beefcake is his natural inclination is to be silent.

Speaker: And not blah, blah, blah, blah about dumb shit. The two women are going to fucking talk to you about dumb shit constantly. And they both are so fucking pretentious about it and think everything that they say deserves to be written down and and on ah on a memorial or a park bench or a... I hate it. I hate it I'm going to give them both a chance. And it sounds like you need to be more respectful of women and give ladies a chance. And because all I know about them is what I was given in this movie. And there's enough of both that I'm willing to go on that first date.

Speaker: I'm willing to make it to conjugal visit number one. Well, I'm very happy for you and I hope it works out with your, um polyamorous sort of like four person of I don't know what you like it's not a thruple anymore it's a well you'll know what it's defined as when I send you my girl's song oh nice she's written about our living arrangement absolutely she's rapping about the living arrangement god bless her all right hey everybody thanks for listening thanks for coming on this conjugal visit with us yeah

Speaker: at eroticthrillerclub on Instagram, eroticthrillerclub at gmail.com. If you have questions, comments, concerns, suggestions. Yeah. ah Rate, review, subscribe. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell your conjugal visit partners. ah Let us know what you think.

Speaker: um Let us know if you got any cool suggestions. And ah I don't know.

Speaker: That's it. We love you. Fidelio Pigman. Wet your snails. We've been in your brain. We've been inside you. We want to shake you naked and eat you alive.

Speaker: Am I crazy?

Speaker: You're about to be robbed by the fucking sexy lady coming to your strong in the UK singing my brothers.

Speaker: Baby, don't you say I'm crazy? Baby, that's the way I want you.

Speaker: That's the way I want to be. I'm a lover, a liar, a dreamer, and a queen. I want it all licking my lips and whipping my cream. Waiting, anticipating a man who loves a child in me.

Speaker: Yo, it's wrong being a sexy. Living on the edge is what excites me. Yeah, I'm a crazy bitch, Jack of Slovakian kamikaze. The thrill is playing with fire. I love it. So come on, get rid of that vision and all that crazy.

Speaker: Nobody has the right to judge a little me crazy, cause was born to run from the rules of society. Speaking the truth, I know it gets me in trouble, but I just gotta bust a body busting. So what if my mouth is foul? I say it hot seat.

Speaker: I'm not a calculator manipulator like a hypocrite. You're looking at a real crazy woman, and nothing's gonna stop me from getting what I want. Don't you say it?

Speaker: you never ever change me that's the way you want to be why can't you love me for who i am g i'm not changing so try and understand me and stop yapping in my e how i'm supposed to because nobody i mean nobody has the right to judge me so go ahead and hold a mirror to your face yeah tie your arms in the truth before you're tripping flip you better straighten up and quit tell me what to wear when you're all closed