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What To Say?
77 Plays5 years ago
What do you say when you don't know what to say? K and I share some perspectives about current events and where BTE fits into it all. We hope this can provide value to be applied in the unique way that is your life.
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Transcript
Podcast Launch Challenges
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello. Hello. This is take five. Take five. We've gotten 47 seconds in each time and have had to stop. Yeah. For different reasons. But wanted to quickly say why we took a pause last week.
Social Climate and Podcasting
00:00:24
Speaker
Obviously the
00:00:26
Speaker
social climate in our area, really in the world, but certainly in the States, I think it was respectful to not add noise to a very, very noisy environment and open your ears and eyes to seek out individuals, voices, perspectives that can help us all.
00:00:54
Speaker
So it was hopefully an opportunity to do that. It was not an act of silence at all.
CrossFit and Society's Issues
00:01:05
Speaker
So that's kind of where we were last week. But then that kind of extended into this week with, you know, related to that there was a huge fallout in the CrossFit community. Yeah, CrossFit community is exploding every minute.
00:01:22
Speaker
So while and we're kind of saying that while we this isn't a CrossFit podcast it is a between the ears podcast to your point on one of our previous takes we obviously talk about things relevant to our life and CrossFit is still part of that and also like really just the human experience and ultimately what is happening now is
00:01:46
Speaker
is a lot about the human element. It's not just about, you know, business and black and white kind of cut and dry issues. It's really complicated.
00:02:04
Speaker
It is, but it also isn't at the same time.
Human Treatment and Root Issues
00:02:08
Speaker
Like when you, there's a lot of madness and a lot of craziness going on, but when you boil it all down, it's fairly simple, and it's how you choose to treat people. And so that, I think, is the root of the issue.
00:02:27
Speaker
That being said, this is not going to be a commentary on the remarks. Right. What's happening. Or what's happening or anything like that. Because it really doesn't add value to anybody listening. Because that's something we try to do on this podcast is add value to people listening. And I don't think that just regurgitating what's happening is going to do that. Yeah. And it's also the same thing.
00:02:57
Speaker
We just as we encouraged last week to seek out different perspectives Different voices different approaches like all of that Same sort of thing in here. Obviously you To a much greater degree than I but the two of us have a unique perspective on the current CrossFit situation both by being involved in CrossFit as well as owning
Self-Awareness in Reactions
00:03:22
Speaker
a CrossFit. So there's a lot of different
00:03:25
Speaker
elements to that and but again boiling it all down it's like okay well the treatment of human beings is really the root of the issue and from there people have to you know kind of make their own judgments and
00:03:42
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And I think one of the things that we've been working on, or one of the things, at least I'll speak for myself, that between the ears in that practice has helped me with is just, you know, obviously self-awareness, but in a way that helps me to not just be reactive. It's really helped that process of between the ears has really helped me in scenarios like this to
00:04:10
Speaker
be able to pause, not be reactive, ask myself about if I'm judging what I'm thinking, how I'm feeling, and not just have it be, you know,
Emotions in Decision-Making
00:04:25
Speaker
Yeah, I guess reactive is the word. It can be emotional. We talked about that, too. Like, of course it's emotional. Just say, like, you know, that's going around a lot now. Don't make an emotional decision. And we talked about that. It can still be emotional. But being able to also acknowledge, like, stop and say what's happening. So just a side note that that process and when we talk about mindset and actually making progress, I don't think I would have been in this
00:04:53
Speaker
frame of mind or how I've presented things I've chosen to say or just where I'm at now if this had happened last year. That's how I've handled it. Right. So that's huge. Yeah, that is. I mean, you've done a lot of work on it. You've done the practices,
Social Upheaval and Exhaustion
00:05:10
Speaker
obviously the seminar and our own interactions. My personal coaching with you. Yeah. You still owe me for that, by the way. You have an outstanding balance.
00:05:20
Speaker
Um, yeah. So, so that's, that's, you know, certainly good to hear. So, so what are we going to talk about today? What's where are we going? I mean, I think so just to be fully transparent, that was something we struggled with. Like, what do we talk about? And even in the last 24 hours, that sort of changed as things progress and things get out of hand. It's like, okay, what, what, what does that look like? And,
00:05:48
Speaker
You know, I think it was more what we decided to talk about is, yeah, is more the, the approach, the human side. Yeah. You had some thoughts and
Honesty in Conversations
00:05:59
Speaker
things that kind of relate to, yeah. How, how you engage in this kind of thing, like what, whatever that is for people, like for us, this happens to be a pretty big,
00:06:15
Speaker
event, you know, questioning identities and business and relationships and friendships. And so how do you navigate that space? And yeah, and I think I don't know if I have any answers for this. But so one of the questions, I guess, that I've been asking myself is, you know, when, when you don't know what to say,
00:06:47
Speaker
Like, what do you say? Or when is, at what point is silence and tolerance of what is going on around you? Where's the threshold with that? And I think that's a really tough one because
00:07:08
Speaker
I mean, you look at anything and when you look at life through a straw, you only see a limited thing. And then it's another straw, it's another straw, it's another straw. But all of those obviously contribute to
Handling Conflicts with Self-Awareness
00:07:20
Speaker
the bigger picture. And so, frankly, that's a challenging one for me.
00:07:28
Speaker
Yeah. I, you know, yesterday what was interesting was unrelated completely to this, but that sentiment like, what do you say when you don't know what to say? And unrelated to this, there was some unresolved things with the relationship that I have in my life. That's really important to me. And it did bother me. I did want to move forward with that, like mending that relationship, but I don't, didn't know really what to say.
00:07:58
Speaker
But like coming to that conversation with that like I'm not really sure what to say just speaking though and I hate this expression but it's true like just being open and honest speaking from the heart and saying like this is upsetting.
00:08:12
Speaker
I would like to make for I'm really not sure what to say and and that set the tone for the conversation that ended up being like okay we're going to make progress on this. But I think that has to be the, when you don't know what to say, honesty and vulnerability have to be in the lead when it becomes like,
00:08:31
Speaker
defensiveness or trying to mask that you don't know what to say that's when people I think get into a tough spot or and there's no pause to consider things or you know that's definitely the I think when it becomes unproductive
00:08:52
Speaker
Yeah, I think, you know, one of the things with mindset that I have continued to speak about is the mode of self-communication. And right from the beginning, instead of looking at what you're saying, because you could say, this upset me. But the energy and how you say those words
00:09:16
Speaker
have a significant influence on how others will ultimately interpret it. Now you can't guarantee that they're going to because it's another person and they're, you know, they have their own thing and they very well could hear what they want to hear and that's the unknown element of it and the lack of control part. But if we approach these topics that are incredibly challenging to discuss and to have dialogue about
00:09:45
Speaker
like examine how we show up to it, where we're coming from. You know, I think that that's really the only thing we can do.
Mental Drain from Current Events
00:09:56
Speaker
It was making, when you were saying that, it was making me think about one of the podcasts you did when you were still doing the podcast by yourself. Okay. Early on. Yeah. And it had to do with like, looking for, like, what are you looking for? Yeah. Like, you're gonna find it. And I remember someone commenting that it really was helpful in their marriage. I mean, that was, that's a huge thing, right? Because
00:10:19
Speaker
when you're kind of already setting the person up to fail and looking for them to mess up, you're going to find that. And I think that can be applied here as well, like both sides of whatever, whatever the conflict is, whatever the you're on this side or this side of it, it becomes this thing where you're just looking for the reason to, you know,
00:10:43
Speaker
Well, in a lot of ways, yeah, not only be right, but attack. Yeah. Attack the other person. And yeah, that's that's rough. But I think, you know, the other thing that I was thinking about, and this isn't I always feel like I have to defend myself if it sounds like a plug for like the work that we do. But one, it's not my work. It's your stuff. So I'm not plugging myself.
00:11:13
Speaker
But the other thing is it is important to be providing resources, I think, and helping people understand how some of this stuff plays out in real life, that it's not just, oh, I journal what the work is. But I will say that one of the things with the past few months, and I think one of the challenges of the CrossFit thing is that it's coming
00:11:38
Speaker
at a time when people are already so beaten down and exhausted. Like you take small business owners after COVID and you take just the unrest in this country and all the injustice and people's, you know, just discussed for that. And now this is like kind of coming at a time where people are truly like fatigued. And while I am right there with them, I do think,
00:12:08
Speaker
you know, I'm aware of it. And being able to separate that and have an understanding like, you know, to take that pause and for people to have that awareness, so they're not digging themselves even further into a hole. And I don't know that I've done a great job, but I think I've been able to stop and say like, okay, wait, I need to pause, like I need to take a couple days off or whatever that is. And so for people who are,
00:12:39
Speaker
anybody at this point, whatever their scenario is that they're struggling with and all the emotional turmoil. I don't know if people are people have been in this weird place where like, it has been like a time off because they've been in their house. But if you haven't really been doing work to like
00:12:58
Speaker
You know what I mean? Like take care of yourself, then it's not really done anything. Just being in your house, not working as much doesn't equate to taking care of yourself. Yeah. And the location doesn't mean anything.
Empathy and Self-Understanding
00:13:09
Speaker
And that's three months ago, probably on this podcast, I had said, I'm not afraid of getting coronavirus or COVID or anything like that. I am petrified at what is going to happen in three months from now when we've been in a
00:13:30
Speaker
situation where control is virtually non-existent, where freedoms are being removed, and where we have to be with our, we're forced to be with ourselves. And I know firsthand, through variety of different intensities, just how unsettling and unnerving that is. Like that is a total pressure cooker. And so, you know,
00:13:57
Speaker
I didn't, of course, think that this would happen, but it honestly, it didn't surprise me. It didn't surprise me. Well, one, because this shit's been going on for a very long time. All of it. Crossfit stuff, the racial inequalities and injustices. It has been building and building and building. It's been building, it's been building. And now you look at, we're in an environment where
00:14:24
Speaker
You know, I think somebody actually said to me like, yeah, just like people don't know what to do. Now they finally have something and it's like, uh, like I don't, you know what I mean? I'm like, I'm not really sure how I, how I feel about that, but that's
Protests and Symbol Interpretations
00:14:36
Speaker
always been sort of my concern. Um.
00:14:39
Speaker
moving from the beginning of this. And that's why, frankly, I tried to provide the practice at a basically giveaway, which was not good for my own business and our own livelihood.
00:14:57
Speaker
But it was a service. But it was something because it's like, well, I need to be part of providing a solution, maybe not the perfect solution. I'm not going to solve. I'm not I'm not a I'm not a civil rights hero by any means. You know, that's not my that's not my expertise. It's not my forte. But
00:15:15
Speaker
When we look at, I think how people treat others, that's nothing compared to how they treat themselves. And through between the ears and through a lot of the work, it's like, you know, one of the biggest challenges people have is being kind to themselves. Right. So how do you.
00:15:31
Speaker
So so how the how are you going to be kind to somebody else if you don't even have the capacity or the willingness or know how or the tools to be kind to yourself and you know that's where when we want to be more aware of other people's realities that's not that that
00:15:50
Speaker
first, you have to be aware of your own. Yeah. And, you know, yeah, so that was, I think also just a side note to that. I think one of the things that was so powerful about the practice during this time was that every week you knew that there was a group of people that were coming together, you know, on a call with the intent of like,
00:16:13
Speaker
I don't say being positive because it's not always positive. I mean, there's stuff that heavy stuff we talk about, but with good, you know, that want to progress and want to be, are there for the right reasons. So I think that a lot of people didn't have that during this time, like connection to that type of thing. So really the hope is that moving forward, like you don't need a complete tragedy or.
00:16:37
Speaker
horrible scenario to warrant like a weekly ability to connect with people that are like minded. Right. So, you know, I think that's, but I guess as we stand now, I think that is an important thing to talk about is the compassion piece and trying to put yourself in that position of like,
00:17:05
Speaker
Yeah, I guess I just keep saying like the non-reaction, you know. What do you mean non-reaction? I just think everybody's so reactive, especially on social media and like just stopping for a second to consider before just reacting. That's I think getting a lot of people and that requires that awareness piece first. Right. Um, yeah, that said,
00:17:35
Speaker
your emotions are going to be faster and more compelling than your cleanly packaged rational thoughts. And so, you know, like the, the bumper sticker advice going around is not to make emotional decisions. Can you talk about like the emotional and rational highway? Like, I think that's something super valuable to Yeah, basically, the
00:18:01
Speaker
The way in which we experience life is largely predicated upon the significance that our senses and environment have on us from a survival standpoint and an emotional driving standpoint. That's not the emotional happy, sad, frustrated, this, that, or the other that we kind of label and gets like a bad rap. It's the signal within our body.
00:18:32
Speaker
that goes to our brain, that then creates a second, you know, second order behavior. It is impossible to remove emotions from experiencing life. If you do, you're basically a vegetable.
Emotion-Rationality Interaction
00:18:51
Speaker
And so when people say, don't make emotional decisions, that is impossible. That is impossible. Yeah, they're part of that process.
00:19:01
Speaker
It's like saying, you know, yeah, it's just, they're part of it. They're ingrained in you. They mean don't only allow the impulses to determine what you do, but you have to have the other side of it, which is from the, like how I talk about it with a highway.
00:19:22
Speaker
you've got the rational highway which is your your your you know cortex and your where we do amazing things as human beings or we think or we analyze abstract thought blah blah blah um then you have the emotional highway and those both form the road and so understanding which part you're on is is incredibly important to
00:19:47
Speaker
to being able to get to the right place, which in this case is consider, consider taking a pause to not have that emotional reaction drive solely what you're doing, but it cannot be fully removed. And you, I mean, generally speaking, like you, we've established like I tend to act from or trend much more to the emotional side.
00:20:17
Speaker
And so some people, like people do tend to overanalyze, like you're an overanalyzer, whereas I will be much more on the emotional side. So obviously you're saying we need both, but the pause you're saying is to kind of identify like, you know, I mean, I guess the arch or the circles or whichever is the best way to like look at it, but to see that there's balance there. Yeah. You have to know.
00:20:44
Speaker
If you think about it, like there's two lanes of traffic and you want to get to the other side of the street.
00:20:54
Speaker
You kind of, you're gonna have to cross both emotional and rational lanes. But you have to know what side of the street you're sort of coming from to know sort of where you're gonna go. And, you know, this is a whole part of the seminar, the online seminar that I get into and really highlight
00:21:16
Speaker
just how this stuff works. Well, the application is very real. Like, I think that's the part where there's a lot of the brain function that I think is important to understand. And then the big part is like, yeah, it's in any kind of scenario, like, then there's a very real application, having that awareness, so then you can
00:21:38
Speaker
come from the right side of the street. Yeah, and coming and getting back to the awareness part. That's how we that's that's where it all starts. Awareness is the root of it all. Without awareness, you're guessing. And if you make the wrong guess at the wrong time,
00:22:00
Speaker
Yeah, you're gonna get smoked by a truck trying to cross the road. And so, you know, that's the other thing. Like, that's, you can't just listen to this and be like, Oh, right, I got it. Check. No, you have to train
Training for Awareness
00:22:12
Speaker
that. So how do you train it? Well,
00:22:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's an everyday thing. It's not just everyday thing. It's an experience thing. It's an involved learning experience. And frankly, for a lot, you need to not be in control of that. People need to experience something that they did not construct themselves, but that they also are contributing to the build up. And so yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, very much it's the same if people want to think that they can control their emotions or control their thoughts or
00:22:44
Speaker
And I think people want to think that they have a lot more control over that stuff than they do. But what you do have control over is cultivating awareness. So sometimes I feel like it's like the opposite. But yeah.
00:22:59
Speaker
One of the things that I actually spent the last week reflecting on, um, during our pause on here was the protests as far as kneeling during the national anthem.
Flags and Freedom of Speech
00:23:16
Speaker
And, you know, Colin Kaepernick, I think was probably the guy who started it all NFL player. And, um, you know, a couple of years ago and
00:23:30
Speaker
History will show you how that went. And for some it went very, for some, you know, that was absolutely enraging. For others it was celebrated and there was everything in between. And so, you know, I'll be, I'll be the first to admit that when that first happened, my initial emotional reaction was like, what the fuck? Because
00:23:58
Speaker
Because of your experience. Because of my experience and because what I see when I see the flag is not what other people, specifically black people in this country see when they see the flag. What that symbol means to all of us and everyone, is different, exactly. As a veteran, that means something different.
00:24:24
Speaker
to a citizen so you can create a lot of these like you know two sides of the coin but it's the same damn coin right and you know and i was kind of like all right but so that was my initial thing and i'll and i'll be totally honest with you as well i was like
00:24:40
Speaker
That's kind of the beauty of this country though, that he can, he's not going to get arrested by the government or the secret police to be able to do that. And it's like the beauty about that is that that is his first amendment right? Freedom of speech and expression. And so
00:24:58
Speaker
And that is what you signed up to protect. That is what I signed up to defend and protect. And unfortunately now, you know, I think there's quite a few big companies, Google, YouTube, Facebook, all of the news that are infringing upon freedoms of speech or suppressing speech and whatnot. And there's a, there's a whole danger in that.
00:25:25
Speaker
But I wanted to revisit that last week, you know? And when I view the flag, I see not the nationalist sort of America, like that shit drives me crazy.
00:25:45
Speaker
When I see people driving around, and I'll be, and this is a, this is a judgment and I'm going to be open about it. When I see people driving around in giant pickup trucks with American flags flying out the back.
00:26:01
Speaker
Mm. I don't particularly like that because I feel like it is a statement and a provocative, more of a provocative statement and this kind of like middle finger, you know, don't shred on me fake bullshit. And you know, I don't know if I've ever seen a veteran do that.
00:26:23
Speaker
The thing I, the thing with a lot of these people who freak out over protests, I have seen the American flag get burned with my own eyes in person and it rocks you to the core. Um, and when I see these people, or when I hear these people like just losing their minds over people that do kneel during the national anthem or do choose to protest or do choose to protest.
00:26:53
Speaker
who have never actually stood up and defended the flag, who have never been willing to come home.
00:27:01
Speaker
in a flag draped box, because they believe so strongly in freedom and the, and the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness, but are going to, but are going to tout it and, and, and accuse and assault. Yeah. But you're not doing anything. Yeah. And it's like, and that drives me nuts.
Patriotism and Diverse Views
00:27:22
Speaker
And so I'm not going to kneel during the national anthem.
00:27:27
Speaker
Because your experience is yours. Yeah, but I'm also not gonna wish harm on someone who does. I'm gonna respect their freedom of expression and speech, even if I don't understand it, if I don't agree with it, if I... Just like I'm not gonna attack somebody who drives around with a flag in the back of their truck. Like, do I like that? No, I don't. I would love to ask them, like, hey, do you bring that in at night?
00:27:58
Speaker
If you don't do you shine a light on it? Do you know any flying etiquette or is it just some bullshit statement you're making and so I guess me just being personal and open like I really revisited that and I
00:28:12
Speaker
But I think that's a part that's exactly that piece of like, being able to not say you, you know, I think there's a lot of like, people say like, Oh, I understand where you're coming from, or bullshit, not being able to, I don't know where I I cannot understand where you are coming from. Likewise, you can't, like, I don't know what that feels like. But knowing enough to know that and knowing enough to know that you have your experience, I think that's that higher level that
00:28:42
Speaker
is just really people are challenged by. And that goes for everything back from like when COVID started. I mean, that, that applies to like, that's applied to every massive issue now in the past three months, just the inability to understand someone else's experience. And, and for the love of God,
00:29:05
Speaker
I don't understand how that even has to be said, but it does. Like what you don't understand is not wrong.
00:29:14
Speaker
Right. Like, I don't understand. It's not synonymous. I don't understand. And that's the thing. And like, there's people that there's, there's people that just like, just attack what they do not understand. And that is dangerous. Right. And it's like, yeah, I'm fully aware what I see through my lens, which is shaped by my experiences. When I see the flag and it's, and it's still a beautiful thing to me. Somebody else.
00:29:42
Speaker
In this case, a lot of the black community sees a symbol that represents in their experience oppression, slavery, and inequality. Who the fuck are you to tell anyone?
00:29:58
Speaker
that they're wrong. Because we all live here. And that's the thing. And I'm sure there might be some veterans who if they heard this would be like, oh, fuck you. And there might be some citizens that say, fuck you. And it's like, well, what have you done for it? I served beneath that and have enough respect for not the material and not even the, yeah, I believe in those ideals of freedom and liberty and the pursuit. But it's the human beings who are
00:30:25
Speaker
I would still say fortunate to be in this country. And you're goddamn right that I'm going to offer the grace and respect to say, damn. Yeah.
Empathy and Dialogue
00:30:35
Speaker
Like that's, that is, that is what you see. And I guess with this whole thing.
00:30:42
Speaker
I don't know. Again, what do you say when you don't know what to say? Or what do you see when you can only see such little? Like maybe it is the awareness of, and again, it sounds ridiculous to say, but like the awareness that you don't have it all figured out. You don't know. And it's like, Oh, I get it. No, you don't. But that is a certain level of arrogance. And I think that's.
00:31:04
Speaker
And to your point too, it has to be trained. It's in the very little things. You don't just turn that switch on when it matters for something big. It is in small things. It is within your family of understanding that even with the kids, I don't understand their experience maybe. You don't understand my experience. If you can't cultivate that and work on it in your own day-to-day life, you're certainly not gonna all of a sudden be able to do it when there's a bigger thing.
00:31:33
Speaker
Right, and you cannot learn about others if you don't learn about yourself. Like if you don't examine your initial reactions, your emotional drivers, your behaviors, your language on things that you see, you do not stand a chance to have any sort of expansion on what someone else has.
00:31:55
Speaker
That's the thing that's the that's the incredible thing about self-awareness too and and with some of the systems and whatnot that you know go into it between the ears, but like You want to get better at empathy get better at self-awareness Yeah
00:32:11
Speaker
And where in the brain like empathy and emotional intelligence are and how you get there and how you access it. Yeah. And that's the whole thing. Sorry. But like, that's what I stand by the assertion that what between the years does and the work that's done and how people do it, it does build better humans. Yeah.
00:32:31
Speaker
But it's like the work. Here's the tools. Here's the raw materials. Here's the inputs. Here's the plans. Build it. Yeah. You build it. You have to do it because this is not something that anybody else can do. Yeah. But I think people get I think the other thing to the point of what we started talking about is when people don't expand, you know, who they're talking to, who they're interacting with, challenging themselves
00:33:00
Speaker
like, like, we'll talk about the, you know, the VT tribe. And you just are with people that support your own. Yeah.
00:33:09
Speaker
myopic view that's where it's dangerous because then everybody's just saying the same thing and you're just all confirming your same set of beliefs and we're right and I'm right and and that and that will not get you anywhere that will not lead to growth that will not allow you to look at the experience and challenge yourself and it you know and that's part of to the to your point about the freedom of speech like the silencing or when organizations
00:33:37
Speaker
remove comments or like, that's a problem or people delete if someone's going to put something up on a personal thing on social media and there can't be a normal conversation. I'm not saying like crazy people, but when there's a disagreement and then those things are just deleted or struck from the right, it's like, okay, but there has to be some place for, um,
00:34:01
Speaker
engaging in like that sharing of experiences. You know, I disagree because this is my experience and being able to honor that. But again, my point was just if you only surround yourself with people that tell you like, you're right all the time or, you know, that's, and that's one of the things I think for us, like, you know, we don't allow, we don't just enable each other. And sometimes that is challenging. There's plenty of times where I just want you to be like,
00:34:29
Speaker
you know, coddle me and say like, it's okay. And like, Oh, you're right. And when that doesn't happen, it's like, well, and then you realize like, well, okay, how would I, how would that be helping me right now? You know, and it's not always that, but yeah, just being able to have that experience with people and not just, yeah, not just yes, people or everybody being in agreement or, you know, I think that stunts the growth.
00:34:59
Speaker
Yeah. And when we boil it down, like if there's one thing we can agree upon, I would hope that it's treating people with dignity, with respect. And it's not, like you said, like it's not enabling people. And yeah, there's plenty of people who need to be, um,
Self-Reflection in Conflicts
00:35:20
Speaker
There's plenty of people who have demonstrated their beliefs, their actions and operate in a way that accountability is going to slap them in the face. So treating people with dignity and respect is not giving everybody a free pass. Sure. Sure. You know, and it's not like, Oh, okay. Well, you know, kumbaya like fuck that. No, but at the root of it,
00:35:46
Speaker
We have to approach these things like that. And it's really, I, sadly it's super challenging. Um, but again, if you're somebody who is constantly the victim and always on the wrong side of things and somebody's always attacking you.
00:36:06
Speaker
Yeah. And that's something I think for, you know, that's there. And I do think that it's not hopeless. Like I do think that's, we've talked about the different energies and things like that. And like, I think it's really important to be like open and honest and vulnerable when we host this podcast. I mean, what the hell else is it for? And for me, like, that's something I do fall into that trap. Like,
00:36:30
Speaker
being the victim or feeling like, yeah, like there is that being wronged and I've had to really take a look at that and you can grow and you can learn, but it does take practice and it takes somebody being able to say like, hey, that's kind of what you're doing right now. So I guess where we are now is like, and this is kind of, I think a testament to some of that work as well because I think what would be really easy
00:36:59
Speaker
would be to get on.
00:37:01
Speaker
and really kind of just let it rip on what's happening in the CrossFit world. Because there are a lot of thoughts and emotions. And I'll speak for myself for 12 years of being involved in a degree. And we've talked about it in other ways on this podcast about my identity. And so there's
CrossFit Community Acceptance
00:37:24
Speaker
a lot. But taking a step back, thinking before we speak,
00:37:29
Speaker
thinking about what would actually be beneficial to people listening, not just using platforms as a way to, you know, complain or just blurt out your own, profess your own perspective in a way that's not productive. So, I mean, but there are things that we're talking about, obviously, that I do think relate to all the people involved, like,
00:38:00
Speaker
Yeah, like looking at other looking at groups that only that don't expand beyond that that just kind of have that myopic view like trying to understand people's experiences looking at each person's experience and how they're making decisions based on that like Well, there's a lot of people involved each person has their own Experience with this company with whatever so with their membership with their business and so not
00:38:28
Speaker
immediately casting judgement on other people's decisions even if you don't quite agree or understand them.
00:38:35
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I put up a little video a couple of days ago when I guess when we really actually learned about the stuff that happened over the previous 48 hours or whatever, we kind of didn't kind of, it was sort of a strange, just kind of like a weird couple of weekends and also, or a couple of days. And then, and you know, I put up a thing and look, I'm a small voice, you know, and very few people pay attention and I get that, but I, but I know. And, um,
00:39:04
Speaker
Like, I didn't, I'm not, I refuse to say make this thing of like, you're, you know, you all have to de-affiliate or you all have to.
00:39:14
Speaker
You know, do this or that. Like you have to look within yourself and make the right decision. And where is that decision coming from? It's the same thing. If you're thinking about leaving an abusive relationship, like that's a, that's not an easy thing. Oh, so-and-so, right. And then there's the kids and there's the financial situation and there's the other family, then there's friends and like, yeah.
00:39:37
Speaker
those are all very, very challenging judgment on the people. No, you can't. And so, you know, within the CrossFit space, I think, you know, that's kind of
00:39:49
Speaker
not being done on both sides. Sure. On both sides. Um, and you know, I think that that doesn't, that doesn't help. It doesn't do anything, but continue to widen the gap between for or against. And, um, you can't, that's, that there's a, that's a no man's land of progress when it's just, um, you know, so clean like that because
00:40:17
Speaker
Again, if you boil it down, where progress is, is how you treat other people. Yeah. And that's it. Like that's what you can simplify it. It's not whether you choose to deal with the affiliate or not this or not that. Um, but anyway.
00:40:32
Speaker
So I'm sure by the time this gets published there will be something that trumps it. I think the point though is whether it's somebody listening that has any idea about CrossFit or I mean obviously everybody's been impacted in the last three months by what's happened in this country.
00:40:57
Speaker
But yeah, we are in a place where there is a lot of polarization and picking sides and a lot of conflict. And I think it is a really important thing that we're talking about. Like this is the key to navigating it.
Mindset Application
00:41:21
Speaker
And this isn't the last time there's going to be conflict and there's going to be inside of that. Everybody has little conflicts in their life. And so it's an everyday thing and trying to come at it from that and working towards it and probably failing at it and trying again. That that's all we can do. Yeah. So yeah. Um, I don't know if any of this made sense. I think, I think it did.
00:41:50
Speaker
I think it did. I think I think it's it's it is the ironically it is the putting to practice all of this stuff. Do you know what I mean? Like, what is the point between the ears and cultivating awareness and talking about the rational, emotional and learning about yourself if you're not going to apply it when the shit hits the fan. Otherwise, it's just some stupid course you took like, right? How was that helpful at all? And that is part of the tenant in between years. And I don't think you
00:42:20
Speaker
I think you make it very clear like you are going to have to do the work. Here are all the resources here all the tools to make progress so that when you're in this kind of situation you can not make a really bad choice or isolate yourself from people or whatever it is. But like you have to do the work. That's not something anybody else can do for you.
00:42:42
Speaker
No. And each person's work is gonna, is going to be 100% unique to them. And I think that's kind of the cool part about it. Yeah. On a positive, I start my women's group on Monday. Nice.
00:43:01
Speaker
So kind of at this point, if somebody's listening and they're like, oh man, I really want to do it, we can figure it out. But we're sort of getting a little bit close to the start date here. When does it start? Well, it starts Monday. Our first call is Monday night. So people have the weekend. People have access to the course starting on Friday. So they can kind of get an understanding when they've signed up.
Women's Group for Development
00:43:28
Speaker
But that is, you know, a lot of it is based on the between the ears, it is a between the ears course, because it is really about like building a better human. Now we do that through there's some physical there's a movement. You know, sure, we talk about issues specific to women.
00:43:47
Speaker
and nutrition, but it is all connected to those feelings and how the mind and the body are connected and how we really need to develop that awareness and cultivate it to kind of tap into that. So I am excited about that. It's four weeks. Yeah, it's cool. And it's kind of like what I think we're doing between the ears of the gym, really trying to help people navigate that space
00:44:17
Speaker
and empower them to like have that agency for themselves and you know practicing tapping into like what do I feel which has been challenging for me as a female. So that's exciting and I think it's a good time I think a lot of people have written back like they're really it's a bright spot to be with a group of women that are looking for
00:44:39
Speaker
you know, bettering themselves and having some leadership and guidance and support. And so that's something that is kind of something to look ahead to. Yeah, that's great. And a variety of people, not people that have never done CrossFit, people that are, you know, on every age spectrum, which is really cool.
00:45:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It's good to have a variety. Um, and that's four weeks online. Nothing in person, nothing in person, people that are local, there is an ability to access, like if there's a piece of equipment they need or something like that. Right. Right. But, uh, yeah, it's all online. Yeah. So if you're in the UK,
00:45:28
Speaker
You can get cash if you're in the UK. OK, it's OK. A lot of UK people in between the years. Yeah. And seminars coming out as well.
Upcoming Seminar on Growth
00:45:39
Speaker
Finally. Finally. I mean, you're just going to sleep. You're going to be like Rip Van Winkle after the seminar. Rip Van Winkle slept for like a thousand years or something. Oh, I don't know. You never know any like what kind of childhood did you have? Do you not know these stories?
00:45:56
Speaker
Rip Van Winkle? No. I don't really remember that. But you've been really working on the seminar. Putting a lot of work into it. I've been putting a lot of work into it because it's obviously online. So I have a bunch of slides that I'll present and go through.
00:46:12
Speaker
And that sounds, don't say it like that, because there is a presentation, but Slides makes it sound really dull. Yeah, there's a presentation. It's a webinar. Yeah. And so because it's also online, it would be really a bad user experience if you just saw my head speaking the entire time. So you need to see things. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody. And so that'll be cool to do.
00:46:39
Speaker
I'm kind of in between how it's going to roll out. I think the best thing, me and you, one on one. Not me and you. Definitely not you. You and a participant.
00:46:53
Speaker
me and a participant one-on-one because it really does provide 100% individual application. And we can do it and it can be, you know, cut up over two nights, what we could do in one sitting, like, how is it going to work best for you? And I think different parts will speak to people differently and doing it one-on-one will allow for that. Like, let's dig into this a little more.
00:47:22
Speaker
In some areas and then they'll have access to it. Yeah forever. So yeah, it is really cool. I think it's um The like kind of linchpin for between the ears in many ways. I think it's the Best foundation because the foundation of between the ears isn't really the practice, right? That's just sort of like the That's one expression. That's one expression. That's one way to do it. But it's but it it doesn't capture or educate
00:47:49
Speaker
to any really extent. It provides experiences, but there's so much more that goes into it. Right. Understanding the seminar first, I think, or in addition will really then, if you do choose to do the practice,
00:48:04
Speaker
Have helped you so much with that knowing that foundation. Yeah, it'll take it to another level. Yeah, it'll like then And it's kind of to the thing like what do you how do you know what you don't know? Yeah, like well you seek out education and so I think for people who Have done the practice or are wanting to do it Yeah, do this this seminar is like
00:48:30
Speaker
Yeah, it's huge Cool, so that will just be even better So that's what we got as always any questions or whatever send them on over Until then until the next craziest we'll talk to you next week