Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ginger Comstock: Hope, Perseverance, and an Athlete's Heart
166 Plays2 years ago
Ginger Comstock is one of the most inspiring human beings K and I have the pleasure to know. After being diagnosed with multiple forms of arthritis at the age of 5, Ginger's body may have deteriorated but her heart and mind only grew stronger. Ginger's story is truly remarkable and she is a living embodiment of hope, showing all who interact with her it's power and what it means to have an athlete's heart.
Support the showRecommended
Transcript
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello. Hello. Hello. I feel like we're going to have a lot of laughs and possibly some deers on this podcast. Just could be. Oh, I hope there's not tears, but there could definitely be some laughs. Yeah. Um, Ginger. Bill. Okay.
00:00:23
Speaker
Kariana, Ginger.
Names and Personal Journeys
00:00:28
Speaker
Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me. How do you pronounce your last name? Comstock. Comstock. That's good to know. Yes. There's a famous veteran with the last name Comstock. Really? Yeah. What? I think he was a seal.
00:00:53
Speaker
I'll have to double check. I think so. Someone out there might correct me. You're a good company. A lot. Ginger and I go way back. And we were just talking before the podcast of trying to pare down, or there's a lot we could probably go on for hours and hours on some of our shared experiences. We've been through quite a few periods of our lives, I guess we would say.
00:01:22
Speaker
But
Connections and Influences
00:01:22
Speaker
most importantly, I think thinking about Ginger and your story and where you've been and what you're doing now and kind of where you want to go, you really are someone that we think we try to invite guests on our podcast that can inspire, give people hope, make people feel like there's others that are struggling, all those things. And you certainly are someone that I think can provide a ton of value.
00:01:51
Speaker
real humans, real people love that. So where do we begin? You guys know when did you, you said, okay, you said that you go way back. Let's go. How did you meet?
00:02:04
Speaker
You came into my yoga studio and you were a my yoga student and for whatever reason, I thought you were like a professional soccer player. I made it up in my mind. I knew nothing. Which is bizarre because I am not really allowed to play ball sports. Oh, don't say that. This isn't Gilead. Okay. I made it up. You put your mat down and
00:02:28
Speaker
I was starting the class like because of my body or how I moved or all of it. You looked very, you were in the front row smack dab in the middle, as I recall, always the front row. Very, you were just, you were very strong. You, you had a lot of body awareness. You could match the movements to the instruction perfectly. And you just looked like an athlete. And for whatever reason, I decided it was soccer.
00:02:55
Speaker
Not tennis, not gymnastics. I was like, oh yeah, that soccer player in the front row. She
Entrepreneurial Spirit and Fitness Evolution
00:02:58
Speaker
was great. And then later I got to know you and never played soccer, correct? That is correct. Yes. Um, yeah. So when, that was when you owned a Bikram yoga studio. Yeah. So that was probably 2000 Marcus was two. So, okay. So that was 2006. Yeah. So we, we opened in 2005. So you were kind of in the very early stages. Yeah.
00:03:26
Speaker
Yep. Pre CrossFit. Yeah. You had your boot camp. I had a boot camp. Yep. And you invited me to come to the boot. You had that boot camp for, you kept asking me to come and you asked me to come to the boot camp and I was really shy about going. I was just a little far.
00:03:40
Speaker
And then finally- But I was coming to your studio from that place. Yes. Okay. Yes, that is true. But you were addicted to the yoga at that time. Yeah, I definitely was. And we had the babysitting, so Marcus would be tossed into the babysitting. Oh my God, that's right. Yup. And then finally, I went out to the boot camp, I remember, at the hockey rink. Yeah, at the hockey rink. Carry down on park. Oh yeah. That's how it began. And then we were fast friends since then.
00:04:09
Speaker
So this was before CrossFit. Ginger, how long had you been doing yoga, teaching, instructing yoga? Um, let's see since 2003. So I was teaching for two years when, or three years when Cariana came along. It seems like a long time ago. It was a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. But it also kind of seems like just yesterday.
00:04:39
Speaker
And we're not aging, so that's good. No, I mean, not at all. Yeah. But I think we connected because we were people looking for, like, seeking challenges. And I think we're entrepreneurs at heart. And we connected on that and wanting to try new things. And so we dabbled in quite a few little projects. And you ended up opening a CrossFit gym.
00:05:08
Speaker
But that was really because that was, I didn't even really know that I could do that until you, you were the one that encouraged, you were the one that specifically said, I've taken your yoga class. You, you coach yoga instead of teaching it. I remember that was the first time I heard that, that you were, you had said you coach when you're teaching yoga, you coach it. So I think you could definitely be a CrossFit coach and open up a gym. And I didn't think I could do that, but thanks to you. I did. Yeah.
00:05:39
Speaker
So we've been through it all. I mean, I was a little bit younger, but so, but back in two, were you born? Were you alive? I think I was still drinking from a sippy cup. Oh, wait, you were in the babysitting room in the yoga studio. That's right. I was beating up Marcus. Yeah, that's right. I was the big kid in the baby pen, just pushing everyone down, stealing their fucking Cheerios. Yeah. Um,
00:06:09
Speaker
What did people do to challenge themselves? Like now there's, you know, tough mutters and go rocks and CrossFit and these events. What, when you said, you know, you're, you're two people who wanted to challenge themselves. What was like sort of the market of challenges at that time?
The Philosophy of Suffering in Fitness
00:06:26
Speaker
I think that Bikram yoga was one of the first, the evolution and the beginning of hot yoga. Yoga has been around for thousands of years. Um,
00:06:36
Speaker
And, but hot yoga, which began with Bikram in the late seventies, it wasn't quite worldwide. It wasn't even nationwide. It really, um, it was born in California where, where Bikram self was located.
00:06:52
Speaker
And it started moving cross country kind of the way CrossFit did from West to East. But I think hot yoga was one of the first things or modalities of exercise that was really challenging where people would
00:07:08
Speaker
go to a group fitness class and have their butts kicked and lay there on the ground and think like, what? I have a near-death experience. What the hell just happened to me? And by the way, how much is that package? Because I'm coming back for more, which is strange in and of itself. But I don't know of any other things. And I'm sure there could be something else. But I don't know of any other commercial fitness experience. Well, I think the endurance, I think probably that was the time of Iron Man's and those sort of things. Yes. Yeah, for sure.
00:07:37
Speaker
endurance was kind of the... But not like a class type. Not an everyday thing. Yes, a thing that you would do, you'd sign up for the class and go every day. I think there's always obviously been things that people do personally to challenge themselves. But I think that was probably one of the first. The market of challenging oneself has evolved quite a bit.
00:08:01
Speaker
You know, and it's funny because I was a soccer player and, um, was playing in at that time. And the idea of signing up like for an event or, you know, you'd work out, you train, you'd have hard sessions, but from like a recreation standpoint, you know, my dad did like, um, iron man's, my mom was always a runner.
00:08:27
Speaker
or he did triathlons, but like I never, I don't know what was available out there, but it's amazing now fast forward 20 years to see how almost we have to say, Hey, not every day actually has to be this near death experience challenge. Just how far it's kind of come and swung. Yeah. It's kind of, it's a little odd if you stop to think about it, how all of a sudden people started buying the experience of suffering. Yeah.
00:08:58
Speaker
Yeah. And you wonder, is it because of like where our lives are going and the external stresses and people are trying to distract from them or, but one would think if things are getting more stressful, why would you create other stress that's involved in suffering? So it's sort of a, well, this, well, I would think things like, but with, with CrossFit and particularly the yoga and now be it, um, Bikram yoga now most commonly called hot 26 or power Vinyasa.
Health Challenges and Adaptation to Sports
00:09:29
Speaker
those, you feel so good at the end. And a good CrossFit workout, too. That sense of, yes, they're suffering, but then there's that sweet feeling of where your body just feels so good and your mind feels good and it's refreshing. So I guess if it was just suffering with no
00:09:51
Speaker
pay off in the, for your mind body experience. I don't think anything would have taken off, but, um, yeah, I mean, after, you know how you were addicted to the yoga. So it's that, that feeling after Savasana, like, Oh my gosh, I feel so good.
00:10:05
Speaker
Yeah. And I think there's a healthy balance because I think it gets to be like, then you're just chasing that. And then if you don't do it, then what's that say? And so I think we're kind of coming now to a place where maybe we went too far. And now like, what does that look like to not need that every day?
00:10:22
Speaker
Well, to that point of buying suffering, that's one of the main taglines that I use for this four-day challenge that I run and have people participate in called the Sisyphus Gauntlet. The story of Sisyphus pushing this boulder up the hill in Hades, only for it to roll back to the bottom once he's reached the top and does this as his punishment for essentially escaping death.
00:10:52
Speaker
you know, there's two ways of looking at that as either a eternal damnation in hell or to embrace this cycle and embrace this suffering as life, as a part of life, like kind of Allah, like, you know, noble truth, one type deal, but to make meaning of it and to find reward in it. And how suffering is a construct more than an actual activity.
00:11:20
Speaker
when there's no meaning in what we do or perhaps there's no change to it, like suffering can certainly become this construct that we attach to, but when we find and make meaning more importantly out of what we do, it can serve to alleviate some of that suffering and using the body to connect or using the
00:11:41
Speaker
body and workouts and movement to be the experience of what that is. No different than, yes, a hard workout, a Bikram class, whatever it might be. But it does take a certain type of person to step into something and say, I know this is going to be hard. I know this is going to challenge me, mind, body, spirit, the whole bit. And I'm going to do it.
00:12:10
Speaker
I think, well not I think, I know when I started Bikram, I was suffering so badly with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, one kind that affects all the joints and another kind called ankylosing spondylitis where the soft vertebrae in your
00:12:30
Speaker
spot the, uh, the cushioning in between your vertebrae fuses together and hardens or, or ankylosis together. So I was in such pain from the jeweler rheumatoid and from ankylosing arthritis that the yoga, the suffering and the yoga actually alleviated the suffering of everyday pain. So I was perfectly willing to step into that mat and into that place of like, it is hotter than
00:13:01
Speaker
hell. I was just thinking of all the different things I could say that wouldn't be that appropriate. But I mean, it's hot. It's really hot in a big room class. But I was willing to step into that space on the mat and be that hot because I knew that the outcome
00:13:18
Speaker
I'd rather suffer for 90 minutes than suffer in my body the way it was. And look, I mean, the reality of the two types of arthritis that I have is that they're not going to get better.
00:13:35
Speaker
they are what they are. I was diagnosed when I was five. So I have a lot of joint deterioration and it's not going to improve. So the only thing that helps me is to try to stay one step ahead of it with managing pain through yoga and massage and of course Western things like Embrell, which is an injectable drug. No, I'm not a rep.
00:14:02
Speaker
I'm not a paid spokesman for umbrella, but without it, I would be like, I mean, I'd really be in a bad way, but I have to have the cocktail. I have to have the, the yoga, the massage, the medicine. I can't rely just on one thing or the other. Um, but the, there is no cure that there's, so I don't really, if I want to have quality of life, I have to go to the suffering spot in the yoga or back in the day and CrossFit just to maintain my, my range of motion and
00:14:31
Speaker
um, quality of life. So I was just trading one suffering for the other, which, um, I was, which felt really good to me because not doing it, I would suffer worse. So going back to that, cause that, that is a huge part of who you are, your story. So you were diagnosed when you were five. And before we started recording, you were saying that, I mean, from an outsider, you've, you've got a ton of perseverance, but you were saying,
00:15:01
Speaker
You didn't realize you were persevering all along for so much of your life. So you were diagnosed at five and kind of talk us through because you became an athlete and what was that experience like?
00:15:14
Speaker
I actually don't, um, I was born perfectly healthy. Um, and I was diagnosed first really more like four and a half, but in my eye. So there was, I have blue eyes, but one day my mom noticed that I had a green eye and a blue eye. Um, and so my sister happened to, um, be sick that day. So she was going to the pediatrician. And so I was just dragged along.
00:15:40
Speaker
Um, and when I was in the, we were in the doctor's office waiting for her to get checked out, my mom showed him, you know, look at her eyes today. One is blue, one is green. And that doctor immediately said, this is not good. You need to get her into, um, Columbia Presbyterian hospital, babies hospital in New York. Um, and he had a, he kind of
00:16:03
Speaker
could tell the signs of what this most likely was and he made a call and got us in immediately I think within that week I went into Columbia Presbyterian and they did all the blood work and that's when they found out that I have uveitis you know all the itises is just they're all itises just inflammation of whatever so uveitis is inflammation in the eye or
00:16:28
Speaker
That's really where the arthritis stemmed from. So when I was diagnosed with that at four and a half, the doctor said, by the way, many people with uveitis could get rheumatoid arthritis or ankylosing spondylitis. Maybe, not necessarily. I'm sure there's a lot of people who don't have it. And there's probably a lot of people who have their arthritis and not the uveitis. But I was pretty true to what they said was going to happen.
00:16:56
Speaker
You know, four and a half, five, six, seven, seven is where it started. I could feel it in my joints. So playing soccer, my left knee would swell. But I don't think that my parents, they may not have remembered that four years prior, the doctors had said, oh, by the way, this could show up in the joints because we went to the orthopedist. We thought it was like a soccer injury.
00:17:21
Speaker
No alarms were going off like, oh my gosh, I remember they said this could happen. It was more like, did you twist it? Did you fall? And then when we went to the orthopedist, they were like, oh, this is exactly what should be happening. But I didn't become an athlete. I would say I was born just a natural athlete. My parents are
00:17:46
Speaker
very athletic and my dad played football and lacrosse and he skied and my mom skied and although back in the 60s there weren't organized sports for women she did play tennis and she still plays a lot of sports and she skis a lot currently and then we
00:18:09
Speaker
Just have an itch here. We, as a family, we grew up skiing and playing soccer and my sister and I swam, we played tennis. So no matter what, like I came out and was already just in an athletic family and environment and I loved it. And I loved, I learned to ski when I was two. And I loved every minute of it. And I could tell though, as, as the arthritis was getting worse, like five,
00:18:38
Speaker
or no, seven, eight, nine, it was going from knees to ankles. And then by eighth or ninth grade, my spine was fused, my cervical spine. And so it was a very, it was a year by year progression of like more and more pain. And the tricky part was that I was still playing all the sports that I loved, but I was getting slower and slower and slower. So that was, I suppose if I were someone who didn't like sports, maybe it wouldn't matter as much.
00:19:06
Speaker
Um, if I was into activities that didn't require so much movement, maybe I wouldn't have been, you know, so vexed or troubled by it all. Um, but I wasn't, I was naturally, I came out loving these things. And then this, then I had to learn to adapt what I was doing. Um, I mean, if there's no way I could have learned to ski, um, with a few spine, you know, as a teenager.
00:19:36
Speaker
never. I only, I think the thing, the sports I played because I learned them prior to the arthritis, I just, I just figured out how to do some workarounds, but I wouldn't have tried. No way would I have tried most of the stuff that I did.
00:19:54
Speaker
So how did you find those workarounds? Obviously, physically, maybe mechanics, this and that, different things. But mentally, how did you orient towards that challenge and negotiate it?
00:20:10
Speaker
I don't, I honestly don't know. It's not, I certainly didn't have, um, I remember in swimming, right? So you have to turn your head when you're swimming and I have no range of motion. So I, I remember in swimming, we would, we would do drills, breathe every four strokes. And then sometimes we would learn when we're learning to breathe on other sides. So every three, then every four. And I noticed about age 12. So I was a.
00:20:40
Speaker
I think swimming it goes like eight and under nine, 10. So I was like at 11, 12 and freestyle was one of my, um, events. And I realized, oh my gosh, like I'm losing so much time because I noticed that I was, my coach kept saying, stop rolling so far. Why are you rolling this year? Like you're rolling so much more. And I kind of figured out, well, I can't, I'm losing mobility. I don't think I articulated that. Um, so I would just hold my breath and try to go. Sounds like Bill swimming.
00:21:09
Speaker
I would try to go like, you know, let me see if I can take this to six strokes because it's going to be too hard for me to breathe. And then I switched to backstroke altogether, which I hated backstroke with a passion. Um, so it just, so the workarounds, I don't think I thought hard about it. I think it was just stay in the game, just stay in the game. What do I have to do to make this work? And then, um, I just had this understanding that,
00:21:36
Speaker
I'm going to start losing. Like I could, I had a couple little, little, um, you know, records as an eight and under at the swim team that I swam for. And I was, you know, a decent swimmer. And then it was, um, this is just a swamp, a summer league, even though I did do winter swimming. It was more by, by the time my arthritis is getting bad, it was more for physical therapy. I knew I wasn't going to win anymore or, or even, you know, getting the top three.
00:22:05
Speaker
but I enjoyed it, so I just kept doing it. So all the things I did, I just, I think I enjoyed them so much, even with the pain that I was not gonna quit, because I knew winning, when winning is not an option at all.
00:22:19
Speaker
I think if you're a winner and you can't handle losing, that's when you walk away. You're like, well, I'm not going to come in fourth. So just forget this. But I wasn't, I got diagnosed so young and my sweet spot for being good at things was like two to six. I mean, that's like, you know, like there weren't a lot of two year old skiing when I was skiing. Like it just wasn't a thing. I mean, my, my little ski friends, like, you know, that we literally little,
00:22:48
Speaker
I guess all of us, a little group, literally, yeah. But it's not like now where tons of kids start so young and you have kids playing sports when they're so little. It wasn't quite like that. So I think my parents got us into things really young. And my sisters, while we were different in that way, we did these things. But then by eight or nine, I could tell like, uh-oh, I'm not going to be winning much.
00:23:18
Speaker
I don't think I cared because I was so happy that I could just keep doing it. Yeah. If that makes sense. I mean, there's, I mean, those are two nuggets of gold, I think in that when you remove the.
00:23:30
Speaker
realistic possibility of winning at a certain level, you know, and, and for you, that was something that, that wasn't because you weren't training. It wasn't because you were undisciplined or any of these other, you know, character kind of pejorative character. Oh, you just don't want it enough. Like, no, fuck face. This is like something that is legitimate and not getting better and whatever. And is like real. That is what essentially
00:23:58
Speaker
suggested that, yes, when everybody else is progressing and you're losing range of motion and the joints are deteriorating and experiencing this pain, winning is no longer a realistic option. It's not even part of the equation. It's nowhere on the table, really. It's just like a
00:24:19
Speaker
It becomes, I guess, I mean, if you want to find a silver lining for this, I guess the silver lining would be that, um, I did my sports just for the joy of being on the team. And there's the second one and being part of the team and being part of the group. And, um, although I mean, the price I paid was that I wanted so, I was so competitive and I had no way to get it out of my body. Like I knew I could be, if I didn't have this problem issue,
00:24:49
Speaker
I knew I could be just as good as someone else on my team. I knew I could be just as fast, but I just couldn't. I just couldn't do it. That's the frustrating part. It's different than someone who's like not naturally that athletic and they're on the team and they weren't going to be good anyway. So for me, my kind of lifelong, like I don't want to say curse or, but my, my question is always like, what would I, what would I have been? How could, how good could I have been? Cause I think I would have been,
00:25:20
Speaker
If I can do the stuff that I can do now or I was doing it when I was a teenager, I wonder what I could have done without this. The sky, I think, might have been the limit. Yeah, very much so. That's, I think, an interesting thought experiment for sure. I'll never know. You'll never know. In many ways, from what I know about you and your story and what you've done in your life,
00:25:46
Speaker
the sky, sure, it was the limit, but you've pierced through that and have gone into a different sort of sphere, a different stratosphere and achieved and accomplished and have persevered and done things that
00:26:04
Speaker
I'm not going to say are more impressive than setting a record or having your name on the wall or something like that, but just have a richness and a depth and an impact on not only you, but others that I don't know if competition provides the same depth, but joy being a remedy to suffering, right? Is
00:26:32
Speaker
is it kind of flies in the face of how I think many people orient towards suffering or towards doing something hard. It's like this thing that you have to do something you don't like or you have to do something you hate or you just absolutely don't want to do and that's what's going to get me better. But if you
00:26:54
Speaker
But if you actually do things in which provide you joy, you're going to most likely be able to do some amazing things and some impressive things and perhaps pierce through that sky of our own.
00:27:07
Speaker
And yet, unfortunately, in many circles, when you say do what you enjoy, it's looked at, rolled eyes, scoffed at being, Oh, that's, that's, that's weak. And from a performance standpoint, I just don't, I just, I just don't agree. It's not to say you can't, you have to, you, you, you obviously have to do things you don't like, of course. And that's part of being an athlete in training, but this deeper, this deeper source of energy to fuel us through suffering.
00:27:36
Speaker
is joy. Yeah. And I work with young athletes currently as a sports ecology counselor. And one of the things I'm amazed by is the lack of joy that many of them feel in this sport or sports that they are so dedicated to.
00:28:04
Speaker
I try to impress upon them in our conversations.
00:28:09
Speaker
I guess nobody tells young people, it's not always going to be roses. Life is not easy, people. You learn that as you get older. And just because it's not easy doesn't mean it has to be terrible. It's just that we should all be expecting days that aren't so great and days that are awesome. It's a whole big mixed bag. That's just the way it is. And
Sports Psychology and Joy Beyond Winning
00:28:30
Speaker
young teenagers don't know that. So when they come up against their first obstacle, their minds are blown. It's like, whoa, no one
00:28:37
Speaker
Sent me a text that this was gonna happen today This is gonna be so terrible and it's like you gotta I find myself breaking it to them like yeah, yep Yes, this is you did not get to start today or you didn't make the team this this is birthed into reality Yes, this is yep. Welcome to life. It doesn't always go as planned and I tried to work with them on okay, so let's say let's say you are on this you're gonna not start right or
00:29:07
Speaker
Let's say if you're an athlete in an individual sport, let's say you're not going to place where you want to place. Can you still find joy in what you're doing? Because if you cannot find the joy by riding on the bench some days or starting some games, not starting other games, if that is joyless to you.
00:29:30
Speaker
then you should maybe think about doing something else. That's kind of a waste of time in my opinion. But if you can look at it like, okay, I'm not starting today, but I am so excited to be part of this group of guys or girls. I'm excited to be on this team with this coach to learn from.
00:29:47
Speaker
It's a beautiful fall afternoon. There's the turf looks good or a nice spring afternoon and I'm happy to have my stick in my hand or the ice is freshly cut and I may not play today, but we got all the fans here. This is just the energy is awesome. If you can't find joy in that, then it's going to be hard or much harder. I don't think anybody's, and that's a whole different conversation and you guys are both obviously involved with youth athletes.
00:30:16
Speaker
It's sad that it's starting so young that that needs to be taught, well, there's life in their sport and they're intertwined. But that messaging is very rare from coaches and it is a lot of pressure. So I think it's like, what do you mean I'm supposed to think all those things? I thought I have to just think I'm going to win and
00:30:40
Speaker
Well, and also kids aren't, they're not even sometimes capable. They're just not developed enough, emotionally mature enough. It's almost too much for their, it's an older, it's a more mature way of thinking. That's why as adults, we have that perspective to kind of look at the pros, look at the cons.
00:31:00
Speaker
of situation. But little kids, no, their brains can't even go there. And I don't work with a lot of little kids, but little kids certainly, they cry, they get upset when it's not going well. And they don't want to hear that. Look at the trees and look how beautiful this thing is. Yeah. But you got a medal for 10th place. They don't
00:31:21
Speaker
Yeah, some love that some just want the medal and the cookie and they're very happy with it and some don't but Teenagers, they're starting to get it a little more like they're starting to figure out especially if they want to play college sports Which most of the athletes I work with that's their goal
00:31:38
Speaker
And the reality, what happens when any part of that vision they have for themselves or that their parents have when it's rocked a little bit and they think, oh my God, this could come crashing down at any minute. Yes.
00:31:55
Speaker
For sure it could. Absolutely. But just like anything else, right? Just like anything else could come crashing down. And that's not to say we should all live in fear that around the corner, oh no, this is going to happen or I might get benched just, you know,
00:32:11
Speaker
every game from now on, that's not what I'm saying. It's just, I think that trying to help younger people with their perspective is a healthy thing, which is what I try to do. That like, yes, you didn't get to play a lot this, this game, but what could you do that might help you increase your playing time? Yeah. And adversity, you don't get access to, or you don't legitimately consider that question.
00:32:40
Speaker
and search for that answer or even take that responsibility without the adversity. Because when you're winning, it's easy to be a good teammate, not all the time for all people. I've seen plenty sour faces after we've won because so-and-so didn't score.
00:32:57
Speaker
at the college level too. Or I've seen the other side, somebody be all pumped up because they scored a goal and we lost 5-1. It's like, are you kidding? But either way, adversity providing that opportunity for
00:33:14
Speaker
there's a chance to look at maybe what I can do and it's not to say it's gonna obviously make it better or guarantee or anything, but you give yourself a fighting chance and then it's up to you to actually do the fighting. And that's also what I work with.
00:33:33
Speaker
I work with more boys than girls. I have yet to figure out why. I don't know why, but I work with a lot of hockey players and lacrosse players and some ski racers.
00:33:52
Speaker
the hockey players and lacrosse players. They will do this, but I was practicing so hard and I was, you know, doing all the things coach wanted me to do. And I was, I was doing it all exactly how I was told to do it. I was trying so hard. I was working so hard. I was in the gym, like the checklist of things and that, you know, that need to be done for performance. And that reality for a young person would like, yeah, you can do all these things. And it's still,
00:34:19
Speaker
may not work out, but I'd like to point out to them, wouldn't you rather know?
00:34:26
Speaker
I tried everything. I gave it everything I had and it didn't work. I'd rather have that than have like, well, shit. God, I didn't go to the gym at all. I was late for practice. Maybe I should have tuned my skis a little better. I don't want any questions. I want to know. It didn't work and I gave every fucking ounce of everything I had and that's just the way it turned out today. I'd much rather live like that.
00:34:52
Speaker
transitioning off of that I think that's a really good to go back kind of to your story because that's kind of how you've lived I think from an outsider would you agree I would agree with that yeah so after high school and I mean your adult life you open that pic room studio but that was not and that's kind of where I obviously I didn't know you prior to that
00:35:15
Speaker
But even that, there was quite a bit of adversity. Can you walk us back a little bit to some of those things and where some of the adversity you've faced as an adult with your challenges? First, it was really hard for me to get the certification to be a Bikram teacher.
00:35:37
Speaker
So Bikram, Mr. Bikram Chaudhary, I showed up at the first day of this nine week training and I don't think he'd ever encountered someone like me before who couldn't express the full expression of the postures and do them and I had a lot of modifications.
00:35:58
Speaker
Um, even though I did write about it in my application, I don't think he, I don't think as the head of the program, he's reading everybody's application. I think that's up to his staff. So I guess maybe no one told him like, Oh, by the way, this young woman is coming who cannot bend her spine in any direction. So just be prepared. Like he, he got, he had no heads up.
00:36:21
Speaker
So on the first day, he was telling me to drop my head back and I couldn't and he went ballistic. I mean, he literally went ballistic on me in front of like 200 people. Yeah. I was gonna say, what's the setting like in this? Okay. Because I, well, I'm, I'm in picturing some sort of like new age church, Joel Austin situation. What is, what is this?
Overcoming Training Challenges in Yoga
00:36:48
Speaker
This was like... Was this in Hawaii? No, no, this was in LA. It's nine weeks. But there was about, I think there were maybe 200 of us and we got 20 dropped out. So, yeah, total quitters.
00:37:09
Speaker
And it was hotter than all fuck. Was it a studio? It was a studio. It was just disgusting. So you had 200 people in a class? Yes, in a class.
00:37:21
Speaker
How big is this? Is it a warehouse? I mean, honestly, how big is this? No, it kind of, um, we were like sandwiched. If you're lying on your stomach with your arms out to the side, like an airplane, you could touch the person next to you for sure. It's not a lot of space in between the mats and there's many, many rows and he's kind of up on a podium. Like 10, like five cohorts.
00:37:41
Speaker
40 people a piece, it was one group, 200 people. Yeah, huge. Yeah, so it was a big ass. And it was, yeah, I guess it was kind of like a carpeted warehouse. It was, yeah, and the carpet, like disgusting. And you were there twice a day. You had two classes a day, two classes a day, and they were so incredibly hot. I mean, it was not only heated to 105, but then all the bodies made it hotter.
00:38:08
Speaker
And, um, and there were other instructors that were like placed in the class to sort of, um, spy kind of spot. Yeah. Like, and sort of spy and kind of, if you weren't doing something right, sort of yell at you a little bit, like not yell with like a yelling voice, but just sort of like,
00:38:29
Speaker
scold you. Yes, exactly. And it was very strict. There was no talking. There was no, it was just, it was these two yoga classes a day were really hard and people were dropping like flies. And then in between the, the classes, we had to memorize the dialogue.
00:38:46
Speaker
For how to instruct someone how to how to and it's kind of I mean it's a little bit like when you're teaching someone a basic air squat Like there are certain things you always say like in CrossFit language, right? So it's kind of like that, but you have to memorize it all the postures So the memorizing and then getting up and reciting it in front of your group and then so for that we would break off into smaller groups of like 20 people would cry people would
00:39:12
Speaker
I don't even have any problems public speaking and I broke out in hives for the first three weeks of the nine weeks. I had hives every morning and every night, huge welts all over my face. I thought I was lured to avocados. I had no idea what was happening. Everybody kept saying, you're nervous, you're nervous. And I was like, I'm not nervous at all. It's the avocados.
00:39:37
Speaker
because I was eating so many avocados, it wasn't. It was actually nerves because it started to go away, more comfortable I got. But you would get up there to deliver your dialogue and they would just crucify you if you messed up. And Bikram was already on me because I wasn't doing the postures the way he wanted them. He stopped to tell the story.
00:39:58
Speaker
So this is a class of 200 people. Yeah. So he stopped in the middle of the first class. We first got there and everyone's trying to show off how great they are and how flexible they are. Not me. I mean, I'm certainly not flexible. And so he, in the first minute, the first minute of the 90 minute class, you have to drop your head back to do a breathing exercise when I can't drop my head back. And I was wearing this blue top and he kept saying, Ms. Blue, drop your head back.
00:40:24
Speaker
And I'm like, holy fuck, he's talking right to me. And I just ignored it because I'm not going to talk back to the teacher. And so going along and there's 10 of these breathing exercises and he called me out on the first one. And then he, and then second breathing, second breath, drop your head back. And he said, Ms. Blue, I said, drop your head back.
00:40:48
Speaker
couldn't do it. Then the third one is like, Ms. Blue, why are you not dropping your head back? And finally I started crying and I was like, I can't drop my head back. And he said I had no business being there. And he actually, at the end of the day, he wanted to see me in his office and he said, listen, you're not going to be able to do this training. I'll give you your money back.
00:41:10
Speaker
or you have two choices. I will give you the money back for... I took out two credit cards to pay for this thing. I didn't have any money. And so I kind of just pieced it all together on these credit cards and I wanted to open up a studio. And my sister and I talked about opening up a studio, but the first step is
00:41:28
Speaker
we each had to get certified. So without the certification, it was going to be impossible. And the yoga was so helpful to me and to my body and, and made such a huge difference that I knew like, I wanted to do this desperately and to help other people. And, um, and I knew I was going to be good at it, but he took one look and said, I'll give you your money back. You're not like, you're not going to be able to do this.
00:41:51
Speaker
Or you can stay for the nine weeks. I will keep your money, but I will not give you your certificate. Wow. But I'd already put my life on hold and gone to LA and paid the money. So I was like, I think he gave me 24 hours to think about it. And in my head, I was thinking, well, if I leave now, I'm never coming back to do this.
00:42:19
Speaker
it's cuz cuz he was doing this big song and dance about like go home practice more you'll be able to drop your head back one day and i'm like the fucking head is not gonna go back so if i leave now nothing's gonna be different i'm not gonna come back one day and suddenly you know be like don't be able to do this so i thought if i stay maybe i can show him that i'm
00:42:41
Speaker
you know pretty determined and and maybe he'll say all right well actually she's you know maybe i'll crush the dialogue part and he'll say all right she can't drop her head back she can't turn her head but she's you know she can teach really well no such luck so i stayed the nine weeks and i did crush the dialogue and i did do well and he did not give me my certificate until a year later oh really
00:43:06
Speaker
I think it was ego. I think that he could not have someone with my physique with his brand. So what ended up making him give it to you? Did you have to like email and hound him? I emailed and my sister had gone to the training after me and she
00:43:25
Speaker
she spoke to this really nice woman who worked there and said, you know, Bikram didn't give my sister her certificate, but you know, but she's doing great and it's been a year, like how about it? And he just, maybe in a moment of weakness, he was like, all right, let's just give her the damn thing. Well, I mean, he's got that documentary out and he's not exactly. Oh yeah, no, like I didn't even take it like, that's an example of where I realized quickly, I was like,
00:43:52
Speaker
I don't give a shit what this guy is saying. I can totally do this. I'm going to just plow right through and just make it happen because this is just ego. This has nothing to do with me. Yeah. That's amazing. I love it. He was such a fool. When in the nine weeks did he give you this ultimatum? The first day. Oh my God. The first afternoon.
00:44:16
Speaker
Wow. I wasn't a complete cry. I was like, what? Like we got just got here. Day one. And the mistake I made was I put myself in the front row. Tension gather.
00:44:29
Speaker
Well, no. My teacher from the studio that I started practicing in Paris, and my teacher in Paris said, when do you get there? Be sure to put yourself right in front of him. And I said, why? Because I have a lot of modifications from my postures. I usually put myself in the back row because I don't want anybody else doing what I'm doing. If you're well and able-bodied, you should be doing
00:44:58
Speaker
the real posture. Don't follow my lead. So I usually put myself in the back row and I said, why on earth would I go to the front row? And she said, oh, he's going to be really inspired by you. You need to be in the front row so that he really gets to know you. Well, that could not have worked out worse. That was the worst advice ever. But little did anybody know, maybe even you, but you displayed it that
00:45:26
Speaker
199 other people in that class. You were actually displaying and expressing what 199 other people in that class could have and maybe also were. But that belief in self, that overcoming, that, I don't care, I'm going to do this and I'm going to basically
00:45:51
Speaker
dedicate my life to something that helps me.
00:45:58
Speaker
Yeah. And I think that's where, you know, where I was saying before when I was little and I, I was on teams just because I love the team and I knew I wasn't going to win anything. It was the same thing with Bikram. It's like people thought it was so, it was hard. Don't get me wrong. It was, it was a hard training, but some people were like fucking disastrous. I mean, like crying all the time and, and just like break. I mean, they did break you down methodically, like looking back, there was definitely,
00:46:25
Speaker
a purposeful breaking of spirit and then building back up for sure. But some people like really, I mean, they quit, they couldn't get out of their own way because it was the hardest thing they'd ever done. That was one of the hardest things I've done. But just what is also hard for me sometimes is just like a regular day.
00:46:50
Speaker
So for me, it was like, yeah, this is hard, but sometimes it's hard for me to tie my shoes. That's also very hard. And strangely, because I remember there were a lot of rules. And he was like, you had to follow the rules. It was very rule-oriented. And there were a lot of free-spirited yogis who didn't want to follow rules. And I would just sit there and follow the rules. And some of them I thought were ridiculous, but whatever. What was one of the most ridiculous rules?
00:47:22
Speaker
There was this rule about where we kept our shoes.
00:47:27
Speaker
And if you left your shoes in a certain spot, they would throw them out. And it was just like, and I remember once I didn't either, I didn't hear the rule or whatever. So this one time I went and my flip flops were gone. And I kindly asked the lady at the front desk, like, I lost a pair of flip flops, but she reamed into me like, they're not supposed to go there. And I just said, Oh, okay. She's like, you can check the trash. So I just went to the trash. I got them out and put them on. I never did it again.
00:47:54
Speaker
But there were some people that kept doing it and got on a fight about the shoe rule. And it was like, that's so stupid. I learned once. I didn't do it again. And someone said to me, why don't you have a problem with all these rules? And I said, I went to boarding school.
00:48:11
Speaker
Right. It's like rules galore. You don't cut the quad. Cut corners now. You cut corners of the rest of your life. That was like one of our don't cut the quad rules. You say hello to people on the path. You have to clear your place. You
00:48:25
Speaker
study halls this time. You fill out this form if you want to go on the weekend, like chapels at this time. If you're late, this is what's going to happen. So to me, it was like, just follow the rule and you'll be fine. And so there was the physical part and that through people, there was the rule following. There was the being away from home. I didn't, you know, I'm not married. I don't have kids. So I think that
00:48:50
Speaker
for some people being away from their families, their spouse, their children was really hard. And I think that would add another layer of, if I had a child or a family at home, it would have been much, much, much harder. It kind of poses the question, are you a true believer?
00:49:10
Speaker
And all of those things, I had somebody when I first got to, so after I've graduated from the Q course, got down to Fort Campbell and as a newly minted Green Beret who hadn't done anything other than that training and stuff. And I had some guy who was, you know, two level, two ranks above me.
00:49:32
Speaker
Um, 15 years in already, you know, infantry, blah, blah, blah. And he was also reporting for Campbell and he was, was he a Greenberry? No. And so I am like a nothing. I'm a, I'm a E five Sergeant Greenberry, but like, I have done nothing. This dude had already, you know, I think he was probably in the initial invasion. Like he had been in for a while. John, I said like all these different things.
00:49:57
Speaker
comes up to me and we're outside in formation. We have to be in uniform and stuff like that. And, um, cause everybody in processes the, the base together. And then you go to your separate unit. So he was going to the hundred first airborne and he came up to me and he's like, Hey, uh, it's awesome. And he just, just graduated Q course. It was like, yeah, yeah. You know, it's happy to be here, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, yeah, I, uh,
00:50:26
Speaker
He's like, I always thought, you know, I was going to like, you know, go, go to selection or whatever. And, but you know, I just don't like being away from a family. And it was one of those things of like, I would do that. I could do that, but I don't want to, I don't want to sacrifice. I don't want to be away from my family. Yeah. With that part. And I had said, I kind of smiled a little bit. It was like, well, I don't like being away from my family either, man.
00:50:56
Speaker
But are you going to fucking do it or not? And if not, then that's fine. It was said somewhat with an attitude also. And it could have been my own interpretation of it, which I'm sure there is a component of that.
00:51:10
Speaker
But those challenges, those real significant challenges kind of call into question, are do you believe? Are you a true believer? And yeah, like this practice too of whatever it's espousing and teaching and the ancient origins of it, yes, the things that on the one hand, you're potentially learning about surrendering and acceptance and letting go and yet
00:51:38
Speaker
resisting the fucking where to put your shoes. Oh, and the, and the where to put your shoes was in hindsight, I figured it all out. All these weird little rules they were by design and they were to see if you could not be in control. Like, can you just not be attached? Can you just give up? Yeah.
00:51:59
Speaker
what you think should be happening to just get with the flow. So finally, that day I took the shoes out of the trash. I was like, oh, okay. So I won't put them there again. It's funny that you've been part of several sort of, you will not get onto this podcast, but Ginger and I also went through a workshop, but very similar sort of goals of like not being attached to the outcome.
00:52:28
Speaker
the process sort of rules. It's just funny because I've done that once. You seem to be drawn to these sort of... Yes. And it's sort of like, can you put your ego aside and surrender your control to see what the outcome might be, or are you going to just have to have it your way? Hold on so tight. Hold on so tight because it's got to be done your way that you almost ultimately wreck it for yourself. And I was really able in the Bikram process
00:52:54
Speaker
And I don't, you know, I was able just to just follow the rules and do whatever, you know, and but I am also I think one of I'm really good at like holding something out in my vision like this is what I want to have happen. And if I have to suffer to get there, I will and I'll count down like
00:53:12
Speaker
The days and i remember saying to some people who this girl my in my group she's gonna quit and i was like why we're three weeks in and i'm like we're almost done and she's like almost done we're only only three weeks into a night and i was like yeah but we've done three weeks like you're like at the end of next week it's four weeks you've already done and i kept trying to re-enroll her in the process
00:53:34
Speaker
Because in my mind, it's like if you're almost there, just go and get it done, right? Whereas like, it's just, I don't know, I
00:53:46
Speaker
Then I don't even think it's healthy sometimes the way I can, it's sort of like when you're, when you're in final exams in school, you know, like I just have to make it through this, this one exam, you know, tomorrow and then another one, and then I'll be done. I have that ability to be like, just kind of push through to get to the other side, but it's not always like healthy to operate like that, to not, you know, kind of always trying to strive to survive kind of, yeah, like sometimes maybe it would be healthier to just toss in the towel and say the price you're paying,
00:54:16
Speaker
for what you're trying to do is a little high. But in that one, in that instance, it was really worth it to me to keep on going and to just surrender to what they wanted me to do. Because then I was able, when I got out, you know, when we had the yoga studio to teach all these people who, and that's the reward for the, for the, how hard it is, it's to see all these people doing their yoga and, um, yeah, not the piece of paper.
00:54:44
Speaker
No,
Transition to Sports Psychology Counseling
00:54:44
Speaker
it's just the, when someone comes along and says, Oh my God, I had the worst, I used to have the worst back pain. And then the yoga has helped so much and I love coming to your class and, and, and it doesn't have to be Bikram. It could be any, you know, I also teach Vinyasa. So, and any good yoga teacher who's had that feedback. Um, and you know, you guys coach CrossFit. So when someone says, Oh, that workout was great and I love coming to your class, it's because of what you're giving them. Yeah. So it's like that it's worth it. You know, in my, in my opinion,
00:55:14
Speaker
at service. Yes, you're being in service to others. And yeah, you got to suffer a little bit to get to where you can be in service to someone else. And really, can you actually serve someone else if you haven't suffered first? I don't know. I don't think so. So currently, you talked a little bit about what you're doing.
00:55:45
Speaker
All right, we're back after a quick break. So what are you up to now? What are you doing currently? And you spoke a little bit about the boarding school you work at, working with, I guess, all of the students, right? Yep. So let's see. I have the Pickham Studio, CrossFit, and then
00:56:10
Speaker
got my master's in sports psychology. So I have a master's in clinical social work. Hey, yo. From where? From NYU. Like at U2. Yep. Just like you. So I always wanted to be a sports psychologist. Always.
00:56:30
Speaker
so the day i graduated from undergrad like that's what i want to do but there was i didn't know there weren't really many formal programs i didn't know i was looking for a master's program not a phd program and
00:56:46
Speaker
And I didn't have much guidance. And so I just didn't do it. I just got some other sort of entry-level job in Boston, lived with my friends. But just to piggyback back to the Bikram, when I
00:57:02
Speaker
When I found Bikram and I found CrossFit, I found that piece, it satisfied the sports psychology piece. Even though just the working with athletes, working with everyday people and just
00:57:18
Speaker
inspiring, encouraging, creating hope, creating belief. It just wasn't formalized, right? So, but I was able to sort of do between the yoga and the CrossFit, I was able to sort of be satisfied enough. And then when I got my master's and then I, so I got the master's in social work and someone said, you should get that and then just use it to work with athletes. But I felt like, and I did that. And then, um,
00:57:49
Speaker
And I remember one time someone said to me, Oh, do you regret getting that? It's when I had both the Bikram studio and the CrossFit gym were right on the same street. Um, so I had both businesses parallel and someone said, Oh, do you regret getting that master's degree in social work? Because you don't really use it. And I was like, no, I use it all the time. I don't use it in a, I don't sit with someone like in a therapeutic way, but I use it on these athletes all every single day. They may not know it.
00:58:19
Speaker
But I'm convinced that's why people kept coming back and our culture was we had a really great culture for both the studio and the gym and And I think it's from the way that I would interact with the athletes But I did know that if I wanted to take it further, I really needed to find a master's program. So I did and I knew that the social work and the sports psychology paired together would be perfect for
00:58:46
Speaker
formalizing what I was kind of already doing. And so the headmaster at Holderness School, Phil Peck, who was, I went to Holderness School as a student in high school. And so I had a relationship with him from when I was in high school. He was my dorm parent and my teacher, and then became the head of school many years later. But he, in a very casual, organic conversation, because we stayed in touch all these years,
00:59:15
Speaker
He asked me what I was up to and I said, oh, I'm getting my master's in sports psychology. And his face lit up and said, oh my gosh, I've been wanting to add sports psychology to our curriculum, to our athletic department. And I said, oh my gosh, I'm like three quarters of the way done. And so we had a big long talk about his... This was just out to dinner. He happened to be in New York one night and asked if I wanted to join him for dinner and
00:59:42
Speaker
So we struck up this conversation and he laid out over dinner the vision for what he had for the school and it kind of it matched perfectly what I wanted to do with athletes and so I wrote a proposal and and I do work with
01:00:01
Speaker
kids on issues that are not related to athletics. So I'm the assistant counselor there and sports ecology counselor. And so I went there three years ago and started this sports ecology program. So I work with teams, creating team culture, mindset. I work with coaches on what they want for their teams.
01:00:29
Speaker
That's always working with the coaches is definitely different than working with the athletes. And then I work with athletes one on one. How do you find the difference? How do you find working with coaches different than individual athletes or even the group? Um, not all coaches are most of the athletes that I work with are
01:00:52
Speaker
They're believers. They're motivated. So they want anything to help them get to the next level or to remove the obstacles that are in their way of their own success. So they're hungry. They're hungry for it. And they're so open. The adults are not always as open.
01:01:12
Speaker
right? So some coaches are really into it and want to know what I'm doing each step of the way and are very excited by it and they're curious. Some are really into it, but don't want to be necessarily involved. So they'll just sort of just give me their team and say like, have at it. Like, I trust you. I don't need to be, you know, in this with you, but please go do your thing. So there's that.
01:01:38
Speaker
then there's ones, so there's ones that like to collaborate, ones that want me to do it, but just aren't into the collaboration and some that just aren't into it and may not be into it for their team or for themselves or any type of therapeutic process. And that's just their personality.
01:01:57
Speaker
those, the coaches of those programs, do you see, do you see more of the individual athletes? Do you not see athletes from those programs? Is there, where am I just drawing straws here? Like, is there any correlation between maybe
01:02:12
Speaker
the openness and the curiosity of the coach and how that trickles down to, you know, your, your individual athlete. There's, I see more, uh, I'll start with the hockey team. For example, the hockey team, their coach was, uh, bought in really early and is really into it and has been since day one. Um, and he, his coaching style is more, um, you know,
01:02:42
Speaker
the guys will do their thing. Like the locker room is their space. I'm not involved with that. I'm, I'm, I coached them on the ice, but, um, you know, I don't, he doesn't want to really be involved in the sessions or necessarily even know what's, what's going on in them. He wants that time just for the guys to have each other and to, and to bond with one another. And he has the most cohesive bonded, um, team whose mindset is it's fantastic. So we've worked really hard.
01:03:10
Speaker
together, the boys and myself over the past three years. But those guys will come at the end of a group session. I haven't even made it out of the parking lot and they're already texting me, can I come for... I need to talk to you about something else. Can I come for one-on-one?
01:03:30
Speaker
There you have the example of the coach who wants his team to do it, and then the guys on the team, they come see me all the time. Because now they know me, they trust me, they've seen what it is. Safety. Safety. Guys and girls on other teams where I don't have much to report with the coach,
01:03:51
Speaker
the athletes don't even know what it is really. They haven't been exposed. But with every year, we have made more and more teams are getting into it because the athletes ask for it. There you go. That's awesome. So the guys on the hockey team who are also on the lacrosse team,
01:04:13
Speaker
Yeah. Came early, early in the season and said, can we please do what, um, what we did with hockey team? Absolutely. Talk to your coach, the coach lacrosse coach is like, for sure. Set it up. Let's do it. And, um, similar to the hockey coach, the lacrosse coach is like, just, you know, have at it, do it. And so we did it. And so now you've got 27 guys on the hockey team. You got 30 on the lacrosse team. You know, that's 50 plus guys who now are into it. And then we had the girls basketball team.
01:04:42
Speaker
They got really into it at the end of the season, or when I left in the end of the year, in the summer, that coach said, the girls want to start much earlier with you next year. So it's really now driven by the kids.
01:04:57
Speaker
going to their coaches or coming to me saying, you know, I saw what you did. I saw what you did with that team. Like, can you work with us? And so I love the fact that it's now athlete driven and they need it. Yeah, they really do. They need a place to just sort of like dump all the stuff that rattles around in their brains is it's, it's a lot, you know,
01:05:24
Speaker
Is there anything you were talking about before how you set your eyes on something and then anything to get to it? I mean, you've had many of those, but is there anything personal or professional that you're shooting for currently for the future?
01:05:39
Speaker
Um, yeah, I would like to work. I love working at, um, with the athletes that I work at with my athletes at the school, but I would like to reach beyond, um, even beyond working with just the olderness athletes. I'd love to work with.
01:05:55
Speaker
more young athletes, more collegiate athletes, professionals, you know, I have the summers off. So that's a great time for athletes to do work on themselves. So I'd love to get more, just to balance out what I do at school and to balance that out with working maybe with some professional athletes or
01:06:24
Speaker
just more one-on-one. The school year is more about teams, and I think this summer would be great to work with. Individuals on their goals. I mean, there's a lot of avenues to go. And I'm really just, it's just, I think sports psychology, it's an old profession, but it's just getting going. So now you'll hear, I love to watch professional tennis.
01:06:52
Speaker
And the commentators are always talking about like, Oh, so and so is working with their sports psychologist. And you never really heard that before. Um, and it's, um, well, we can really get in our own way. So it's great to have someone to help you get out of your own ways. And
Current Fitness Routine and Health Management
01:07:10
Speaker
that's, that's really what I think a mindset coach will do is just hold a mirror up and say, look at what you're doing right now and how unhelpful it is to where you, to what you want to accomplish. Right.
01:07:22
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, we recorded a podcast episode, guests on a podcast yesterday, and the host asked us, what is between the ears? And we kind of, you know, I have been slamming my head against the wall that has not moved over the past six years or whatever of this, what is it? What is it? What is it? And we've pretty much given up on answering that question and just knowing it's something.
01:07:50
Speaker
Um, well, giving up the elevator pitch, elevator pitches, you know, there really is no elevator pitch, physical, mental, emotional fitness. What does that mean? We kind of have now been on this thing where it's everything and nothing at the same time. And it's, it's, it's, it is that because when somebody it's a, it's a mirror and a window as well at the same time where it provides a reflection.
01:08:20
Speaker
for someone to see through into themselves. Like they see what they see in the reflection, but they can also see through that into themselves. And that's what it is. And it's not whether you do crazy shit at night or take it easy one day. It's not any of that. It's an invitation for you to look within yourself. And for some that's, you know,
01:08:44
Speaker
Yeah. And it's the point about the mirror as well, or it's everything and nothing. Um, people might say like, it's too easy. It's too hard. That's what you're sort of to the point of some of those challenges. Like, well, it's sort of what you decide. Why are you saying it's too easy? Like, why, why is it too hard? Like what's, it's not either of those things. It's what you're, you're bringing into that experience. Um, so, um, yeah.
01:09:15
Speaker
That's cool. Um, when you exercise now, no more functional fitness, CrossFit, purely yoga. What is your movement practice to currently look like? Well, it's funny. It's, um, currently today, like this summer, um, I am doing yoga six days a week. Um, and,
01:09:43
Speaker
I'm walking four to five miles, six days a week. So I up at school, there is nowhere to do hot yoga. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I mean, when I, I am dying without it, like really.
01:10:07
Speaker
It's I need it so badly for my joints. Um, so I did notice that the first couple of years life there is really busy. Like you don't have a minute to blow your nose. I mean, it's just like constant to in class and dinner and chapel and sports and like everything is go, go, go. Um, and I thought to myself, well, I'm so busy and I'm running around so much. I'm going to be moving so much that I don't, maybe I won't notice that I'm not doing the yoga.
01:10:35
Speaker
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Nope. Like I really needed it. So when I come back home to New Jersey for the summer, the first thing I do is go back to the yoga studio and I just start doing a ton of classes. It's amazing what your muscle memory, you know, what can happen in just a couple of weeks. I can reverse
01:10:56
Speaker
So much, I start to panic. I mean, I really go through a personal panic where I start thinking like, oh my gosh, my lower back hurts so much or my shoulder seems to be like an inch higher than the other one. It's not an inch higher, but this is probably going to be permanent. Uh-oh, I'm never going to be able to reverse this. And my arthritis is getting worse. And I start panicking on the inside and the sky is falling and this is going to be terrible. And this spring, I had a really bad
01:11:26
Speaker
I think it's like a piriformis issue, hip issue. And I thought, well, this is it. I guess I'm going to have to have a hip replacement. I mean, I guess that's not uncommon for someone who has degenerative joint disease. I guess my hip replacement is going to be early.
01:11:41
Speaker
Well, all that panicking, I come back on the mat, I start doing 5 million yoga classes, and suddenly my hip doesn't hurt anymore. And it's like, geez, you were like in a full blown panic. And all you had to do was get back on the mat and start moving the body again. So it's a two part question. I
01:12:00
Speaker
the first three years at school were really hard for me to find something. And I wish that there was a CrossFit gym in town actually that closed up in New Hampshire. So I don't really like to go over to the field house where all the kids are because they really like
01:12:17
Speaker
like monopolize the weight room and it's just like, can be kind of like a big bro fest. So I invested in this thing called the hot yoga dome. Have you heard of this? No, it's like a little teepee.
01:12:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's like an igloo. It's like a big... And it heats up to about 105. Wow. And then so I got it. It actually arrived last week. It blows up in 60 seconds. I'm not a paid spokesperson. This is like one of the... So Embril and the Hot Yoga Dome. Those are my two pictures. You're going to fly back to New Hampshire on your Gulf Stream with that pharma money and this yoga. Exactly. So this thing inflates in 60 seconds and it heats in about 10 minutes. So I have my
01:13:02
Speaker
membership to yoga, my live stream membership. So now I've got the heat. Wow. So I'm like, I cannot wait because now I won't deteriorate so much. And then also I noticed this interesting functional fitness, CrossFit ish type gym in town as I was leaving actually in the spring that I want to check out when I get back to school. So, but if I lived here,
01:13:28
Speaker
I would do my hot yoga and I would probably be here with you guys, actually, is what I would do. Before you leave, you have to come do a session. I will do that. Because back in the day when we were doing boot camp in the park, in the hockey rink, and I was doing my yoga, I felt great.
01:13:47
Speaker
Yeah, you have the strength and then you have the flexibility. But I'm just so happy that I can start doing the yoga again because once I heal the body through that, then I can start doing all the other things. That's the foundation. That's the gateway to be able to do, even skiing, if I notice when I'm not doing
01:14:06
Speaker
my yoga, even little things like putting on my ski boots is harder or just because my ankles are tight or buckling them because my hips are tight and I can't reach. So it really starts with the yoga to be able to do anything else. So thank God for this contraption that
01:14:26
Speaker
You have just sent us a picture. Yeah. I'm curious to see what that's and you do it. What like indoor, like it's like you plug it in, you plug it in. Yeah. So, um, um, my sister just got one and she sent me pictures of her. She used hers the other day. I blew mine up in the living room with my friend just to make sure it didn't have any holes, but haven't used it yet. But she used hers and said it was awesome and she was hot and sweaty and did it right in her garage. So yeah, so it's cool.
01:14:53
Speaker
It's pretty cool to think that you can create or you can get your own little igloo and you can have a streaming service. Yep. You know, that's, it will, it will say, it will literally save me. Like I, I, I don't even know what it's like to do these things like yoga and CrossFit or massage, for example, for just for joy or right. That's funny. Cause we were talking about, I was, I was on my high horse about joy.
Social Connections and Humor
01:15:19
Speaker
Right.
01:15:19
Speaker
And now I'm about to say, I don't even know what it is to do them for joy because it's a necessity. I have to do them to live properly. So it's different when people are like, oh, I need my yoga. And they must be there to need it. I need it if I'm going to tie my fucking shoes. I need it.
01:15:38
Speaker
So I always wonder what it would be like to do some of these things just really for the thrill of it, just for curiosity, just for fun. Wouldn't that be nice? Massage for me is really quite painful, but very necessary. How do you have fun? What do you do to have fun? Fun for me is
01:16:05
Speaker
Really spending time with my friends. I love laughing. And I love to make people laugh. And I enjoy laughing at things and irony and sarcasm. So doing an activity with friends. So if I'm skiing with friends, it's like a double
01:16:29
Speaker
That's like a home run because I have the fun on the chairlift and then I have the fun of the actual sport. So that's fun. So I enjoy skiing. I don't get to ski as much as I used to. I lost vision in one of my eyes a couple of years ago.
01:16:46
Speaker
That was a bummer, to put it mildly. Because skiing is the one thing that I feel like I don't have arthritis. Even though I ski with this big neck brace on called the Philadelphia Collar, which is
01:17:01
Speaker
just this gross, ugly neck brace. But one of those, like I was saying before, if this is what I have to do to do it, if I have to wear this thing to go skiing, then I'm going to wear it. Because I love it that much. But without the vision in one eye, now I can't ski when it's cloudy, because the light is so flat.
01:17:19
Speaker
Or if it's really crowded because I have no peripheral vision and I can't see if there's someone coming. So now my days of this thing that I loved that really fueled me are a lot less because it's not that sunny and awesome in New England in January. I have to move to Colorado.
01:17:44
Speaker
On the flip side, because I can really only ski when it's sunny out, every day is like, every ski day for me is usually a good day because it's automatically sunny. So skiing still brings me a lot of joy. And then really being with my friends and laughing brings me a lot of joy. And I did many, many, many, many years ago, I did a little standup comedy, which was really fun, as nerve wracking as it was. I really enjoyed
01:18:16
Speaker
and bringing people that laughter. That was really funny. When I describe you to people, I always say that you could have been a stand-up comic.
01:18:26
Speaker
And you didn't know that... And I didn't know that you actually did stand up. I mean, I didn't have like a permanent gig or anything, but I did do it like three or four times. Wow. And I want... Did you get hives? I did not get hives, actually. I did not get hives, which is part of why when someone at the Bickham Training was like, oh, it's because you're nervous. I was like, I have done stand up, okay? This does not fucking make me nervous. Right.
01:18:56
Speaker
Go back, way back, fall back, fall back, fall back, and change. And change. It doesn't make me nervous. It's the avocados.
01:19:12
Speaker
hanging out with my friends is really fun. I don't require a lot. Like I'm not one of these people that requires tons of, I mean, I had dinner with you guys the other night and that was so fun, right? I don't need a lot of entertainment. I just need good. I think I'm fueled by really good, good people, good conversations, heartfelt, meaningful, um,
01:19:37
Speaker
conversations of value and the value could either be in the laughter or it could be in tears if there's someone who's, you know, who is either upset or I'm upset and just having the value of that relationship. That's joy to me is like being around good.
01:19:56
Speaker
people as my dad used to say, there's an asshole born every minute. So find the good, find the good people. So, um, yeah, so that's, I love that. I think it's a nice bell to put her on this. Hopefully. And I think that's what this chat was. Hopefully. I mean, we talked about it kind of coming full circle, like, you know, off mic before, like what's our deal with the podcast. It's just sharing this with people and just having an open conversation.
01:20:27
Speaker
Are you on social media people? Like the question is always, how can people find you? I don't know if people actually, do you want people to find you? Yeah. I mean, I'm not that interesting. I, you know, I'm not on social media. Um, that's awesome. I, I'm not on Facebook. However, I do have, um,
01:20:53
Speaker
10 million fans on TikTok. Exactly. I am on HBO. Wait, what? No, I'm just joking. You can find me there. So no, you can email me or call me on the phone. And preferably not texting. OK, we could send a carrier pigeon. You could text me, you could call me, you could email me. But calling is the best. Yeah, calling is the best.
01:21:22
Speaker
You're one of the few people that calls people calls. Yeah, because you know why and why do you think that is after what I just said? Why do you think that is looking at the screen?
01:21:34
Speaker
No. Oh, well the connection action. Yeah. Well, and what can you, what is loss sometimes? Yeah. The, the laughter tone. It's so much easier to make a good joke. Like when you can hear someone's voice when you call them up, it's so much more fun than just reading. You had a mutual friend, um, yesterday text me and I didn't understand it. And then he said, okay, that was just my attempt at a joke, but I didn't get it.
01:22:00
Speaker
Right. Or because he's not funny. I don't think, I think maybe if we're in person, but it was like, Oh, we have to tell someone it's a joke. Yeah. I didn't mean fuck you the way you interpreted it, you know? Yeah. So that's why I like calls because then we could laugh a little and yeah, you know. Yeah.
01:22:19
Speaker
All right. Well, we will, we will see you reach out to us. We're not going to put it out. And I know from every podcast I listened to, everyone wraps up with where can I drive people to find you? Yeah. Where, what is your, like, where, where can people find? And they're like, Oh, my Instagram, my Facebook, my website, blah, blah. And I'm like, you could call me on the phone if you want. Well, I love it. I think it's, or a PO box, 1879, Plymouth, New Hampshire. Oh, three, two, six, four. You can send me a letter. There we go. Nope. There we go.
01:22:49
Speaker
Well, thanks for coming in. Yeah. Thanks for having me. That was a lot of fun. That was good. All right. Thanks. See you.