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Episode 28 - The Good, The Bad And The Ugly #1
61 Plays2 years ago
Paul and Martin (co-Mayors of ADHDville) chat about their lives in a new feature where the boys chew the breeze, shoot the cud, and discuss Marmite. Strap in.
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Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember:
This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Exploring Hyperphantasia's Impact
00:00:00
Speaker
Back in the room. Back in the room. So, so yeah, do you remember in the last podcast from last week with Jonathan, we talked about being brain curious, right? Right. So I was on the flight going back from the UK, reading, flicking through my new magazine that I picked up. Mm hmm. New scientist got a thing on the human mind. And there's a great article about this lady, right?
00:00:30
Speaker
did some research on this lady who has a hyper-fantasia, okay? And basically the whole point of it is that some of us, not all of us, have the same level of visual imagination.
00:00:45
Speaker
Well, actually, to be more specific, imagination, imagination, it's always visual, right? Imagination is always visual imagination. But there are some people who have hyper-fantasia, like this woman that they talk about, she could faint. She read a passage in a book and it was particularly gory. She would literally faint and she would pass out.
00:01:11
Speaker
That's how vivid her imagination was. Amazing. And by contrast, some people have no visual, like zero, zero visual imagination. I thought it was amazing. Amazing. And the reason they talk about it is because actually it's often very closely linked to depression. Generally, people
00:01:37
Speaker
will potentially more likely suffer from depression if they have vivid imagination on the basis of seeing and believing.
00:01:47
Speaker
so you can see it, picture it, they're much more likely to get a depression from that thought that they have in their mind, they're holding their mind. So it's interesting. It seems more real. It seems real. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. So segwaying to the homework that I set you a few weeks ago about blinking your eyes at something. Oh, yeah.
00:02:16
Speaker
so that you can remember it. So if you put your, if you haven't heard the podcast, that particular podcast, there's a hack you could do. If you, if you're always losing stuff, right? Your car keys. Okay. Wherever you put it down last, blink at it a lot and your brain will register it turns out that that's not always true. If you're a kind of person that has no visual imagination, that won't work for you.
00:02:41
Speaker
Oh, OK. It's interesting. All right. It's interesting. But anyway, great, really interesting article. All right. Cool. And with that interesting article from my learned friend, Mr. Tomp, welcome. Welcome to ADHD Phil.
00:03:27
Speaker
Do you know, it's a while now since I've got a half a song written in my head on our intro. Yeah, an ADHD song. All right. Well, it's like half written in me in my head. All right. So anyway, hello. I'm Paul Thompson.
Introducing the Hosts and Podcast Focus
00:03:43
Speaker
I was diagnosed with a new with the new with the neurological naming disaster that is ADHD three months ago.
00:03:51
Speaker
neurological being a naming disaster because it's it's the ADHD part is all right. Yeah. And I'm Martyn West and I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2013, which is the year that the following artists were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. So in 2013, we had Cat Stevens, Hall of Notes, Kiss,
00:04:22
Speaker
Zinda Ronstadt and a personal favourite of mine, Nirvana. Nice, nice, even if. Smells like Teen Spirit. Your girl Patti Smith does an outstanding cover with the banjo.
00:04:43
Speaker
smells like teen spirit it is stonking it's so good all right yeah anyway did you did you know that the teen spirit is the name of a fragrance
00:04:56
Speaker
no yeah that's why it's called tea smells like teen tea okay it's a fragrance oh oh yes i did hear that somewhere yeah yeah in my memories from from from yonder
00:05:13
Speaker
Anyway, so we should introduce ourselves, I suppose. So we're just two mates who, by coincidence or not, after 39 years of friendship, discovered that we're code ADHDers. Hoorah. That's really important to say. This is an entertainment podcast about adult ADHD and does not substitute, no, no, no, for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
00:05:39
Speaker
Oh no, I'm not supposed to read that bit. So don't take any advice from us, which is here is a kind of all-inclusive ADHD park bench with room for your doppelgangers, your alter egos, your body doubles, your chaperones, and your best buddies.
00:06:00
Speaker
um still here great so grab your jet packs or any other transport transportation methods that you might have to hand and let's take you to ADHDville yes an imaginary town that we've created in our minds in our minds no minds we would like to explore different parts of a d h and another d please
00:06:26
Speaker
Lovely Paul, and we start off as always here in the Town Hall in the Mayor's Office where we, the joint mayors of ADHDville, take care of the business. The business. And on today's meeting agenda, we have a big one.
00:06:45
Speaker
We'll do a big one, potentially three big ones. Right, so we stuck up a notice as you have to on the council planning board to kind of get input from
00:07:00
Speaker
people. So we listened to that. We also got a town planner in to kind of like look at how we were structuring everything. And we... It's a bit like with Boris Johnson, he commissioned the bridge, a new bridge on the Thames. It's called the Garden Bridge. Yeah, it's about 80 million pounds, just some consultation. It's pretty much that kind of thing. All right. Then it got cancelled, got cancelled.
00:07:29
Speaker
Well, hopefully this, our changes are going to be a little bit more worthwhile.
Revamping Podcast Formats
00:07:36
Speaker
So we're going to split our podcast up into three types. So the first type is going to be the regular topic specific.
00:07:45
Speaker
podcast so that's about you know about some aspect of ADHD and then and then we can kind of like just just be more focused on that. The second one is the guest episodes so we're kind of getting people lined up and they're gonna cover the whole
00:08:07
Speaker
bored so because we need different different voices um on this podcast and the third not just ours too old you know boomers as my son always likes to refer me as oh good dad such a boomer so yeah we're we're gonna we're gonna get some more wait you aren't you want a boomer
00:08:32
Speaker
No, no, you're, you're, you're, you're an X. Well, well, the, the, the saying is like, okay. Boomer meaning like old person, but right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Gen X.
00:08:48
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Gen X. All right. And the third type is we're going to take our good, bad and ugly segment, and we're going to have that as a separate podcast episode. So because that can take up quite a lot of time. Oodles of time. Right. Oodles of time. So we're going to cut those out into three. So hopefully we can get tighter and more focused podies. Yeah.
00:09:17
Speaker
And also because of the good, the bad, and the downright ugly part of the episode. They kind of have that bit of a life of their own by now.
00:09:26
Speaker
So this is and welcome to the first of the good, bad and downright ugly episodes. So let's jump into the mayor's car and we'll head to our favorite watering hole, the ADHDville coffee place and go and hang out on a special couch reserved for the joint mayors. Imagine a scene from Friends. You'd have to guess which one of us is Phoebe.
00:09:58
Speaker
I'm not saying a thing. All right. Yeah. So we're going to go and shoot the breeze and spill the tea on what is going on in our neurodivergent lives. Lives.
00:10:16
Speaker
I did a bit of research because apparently those are the whole pages of special guests that they had on Friends over the years. In one episode on the couch on Central Perk together with Robin Williams and Billy Crystal, wow!
00:10:32
Speaker
What a duo. It was the same episode. Wow. I think I'll have to look that up actually. Then Gary Oldman was actually a special guest on there. It was a bit of a wild, bit of a left field, bit of a curve ball, as you'd say in America. I love a Gary Oldman.
00:10:54
Speaker
Yeah. Couldn't eat a whole one. Yeah. And then Susan Sarandon, I've already put that in there because I love Susan Sarandon. No other reason. She's problematic. Is she? Oh, God, yes. Is she from your neck of the woods? New Jersey. New Jersey. I don't know where she's from, but... problematic. Yeah. Yeah. Google.
00:11:24
Speaker
I'm just the kind of woman I like. I like problematic women. All right. All right. Yeah. Well, yeah. Okay. I'm sure you're just the type of guy that she's into as well. Maybe. Yeah. Me and Tom, Tom, Tom Robbins, Tim Robbins. Oh, Tim Robbins from time married. Tim Robbins. No, the tall guy from, um, Hudsucker proxy and, uh, all right.
00:11:50
Speaker
The one with Morgan Freeman. Time team? The show. What the fuck was I thinking? Time team? Yeah, you know. You mentioned Tim Robby's on time team. Tim Robby's on time team. Can you imagine that? I'm just thinking that way. I'm thinking about Roman coins.
00:12:12
Speaker
No, look up. It was hot sucker proxy was great film. He was in that. It's like two meters tall and a rising. Oh, Tony, Tony, Robin Robinson, Tony Robinson, yeah. Robinson, Tony Robinson and Tim Robbins. There's a
00:12:38
Speaker
all right there's a coupling right there let's uh let's jump spooning each other oh blimey i don't need that in my head let's uh jump into the maze car neither does susan sourdood apparently oh god just just just get in the bloody car paul all right okay gospel keys
00:13:09
Speaker
I have my forgiveness. Right. The Guinness has ever given to the like the point of the episode really nice and smoothly and efficiently. Mm hmm. Trying to. So yeah, we've got this like good bad and the down down right. Is it down right? Yeah. Down right. Ugly thing. It's not good. It's not good. All right. Good. All right. What's been good in your ADHD world? Yeah. First note I've got on this is like this was it in a last
00:13:40
Speaker
episode, or penultimate episode, we're talking about catastrophizing. It's really funny, because you know, famous, ADHD is famous for catastrophizing. I had to really concentrate and think, Paul, Paul, come on, focus, something good. Come on, you can do it. You're frozen, mate.
00:14:03
Speaker
Move a bit, move a bit. I think I'm fine. He's frozen. All right, frozen. I'm good. You can just carry on. You're fine. So yeah, the good bits. Yeah, it's weird. For me anyway, it's harder to think of good stuff. But anyway, I did. There's a good stuff. I drove back to the UK last week.
00:14:33
Speaker
Mmhmm, cool.
00:14:35
Speaker
grabbed my rental car at the airport, got onto the road, hadn't driven on the left for like 15 years or something, and just like got back into it. Like it was, you know, never been to Italy at all. So it's all fine. And it was just really, really cool. It was really nice, really peaceful on the motorway, driving along. Great tunes on the radio. It was actually De La Soul Buddies. I love De La Soul.
00:15:05
Speaker
And it was just amazing. It was really nice the whole time, really nostalgic. It was really, really cool. And yeah, it was great. And then just to meet up with a lot of old peeps, you know, and just connecting with them. It was really nice, really nice. How about you, Martin? How was your good stuff? All right.
ADHD and Maintaining Habits
00:15:27
Speaker
My ADHD, good stuff.
00:15:35
Speaker
I'm starting to get the hang of, you know, like, so the house would get untidy, which is quite a common ADHD thing. Right. Yeah. And then I would go, right. I've got to sort this out. And then I'd go into a, a, a mega focus blitz. Right. So I would just kind of spend like a all day.
00:15:59
Speaker
feverishly just running around like going like a mad person. Wow. Cleaning up everything in this kind of hyper focus way. And then, of course, it looks great, but then you're like dead for like two days or something. Yeah. And then it's and then it starts to build up again and then you then you repeat the whole process. Right. OK. So what I'm what I'm so the good thing is
00:16:27
Speaker
I've been just picking one small little area of the house and just doing that. So it might just be a corner of one room or it might just be the bathroom or something. Right. And then doing that every day. So it's more like a, it's less, I'm not tapping into the hyper-fixation part of my ADHD.
00:16:55
Speaker
I'm just trying to build it as a habit of every day. There is a part of the house that I just pay some attention to in the same way that I take out the trash or I walk the dog. It's just like a thing that I do every day. So basically you're saying you're trying not to hyper-focus then. You're trying to like level it out a bit. Spread it out over the days.
00:17:25
Speaker
Right, because even though the hyperfocus gets things done, there's a price to pay on the back end, which is you get burnt out for like a day or two where you don't really feel like doing anything. So you end up with this kind of
00:17:43
Speaker
you know, this peaks and troughs way of going through the world rather than a little bit more steady state way, which is better for me. And then losing the shame as well, because we talked about this, didn't we? Because I kind of proclaim myself as being lazy if you podcast back. And you pulled me up on that and said, well, what's all that about, Paul?
00:18:10
Speaker
But yeah, it's like you burn out, you're crashing, you know, you're like, oh, even though, you know, the good thing for me was I just said, you know, the socializing, I was exhausted. I was being social for three days with people I hadn't seen for 20 years. It was it was it was great fun. It was fabulous. But it was it was I was really tired. Yeah, all of that interaction is very mentally
00:18:40
Speaker
Yeah, in fact I arrived back at Gatwick Airport like five or six hours earlier than I should have done and I'd rented a hotel room literally within the hotel or within the airport in North Terminal
00:18:59
Speaker
which was, it was amazing, but I got there only cause I couldn't do it anymore. It's like, okay, just eat some stuff from the mini fridge and watch trashy TV. Right. That is like,
00:19:15
Speaker
That is like taking care of your brain, right? Is because you're like, you're, you're kind of burnt out from all that interaction. You, you, you, you kind of need to go back into your little, into your womb and just kind of sit there and watch. Do you know what I did? I binged, guess what? I binged on, um, my, my coated cashew nuts.
00:19:44
Speaker
Oh, wow. Yeah. That sounds horrific. No, it was amazing. Sounds horrific. Yeah. Marmite. Yeah. Okay. All right. And then I think shortly after it's about four hours later, I tried to smuggle Marmite through the customs through security. Naughty boy. They were really nice about it. He said, Oh, so he said, Oh, can you come over here, sir?
00:20:12
Speaker
Can I open up your bag? Yeah, please do. So yeah, we think there's something in there. It's like, it looks like it's a couple of jars. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, dear. Because you never know with those kind of places. Cocaine. In the end, two jars of Marmite. Oh, two jars of Marmite. Bang to rights. So you can't have these. I'm afraid. So I said, what if I consumed them right now?
00:20:43
Speaker
And he went, yes, please. And there was a little part of me was enjoying that visual for a bit, you know. Right. I can imagine you're there, like looking dead in the eye as you like open up the left and just start speaking to your mouth. Never blinking. Never blinking. Turns out he was really cool. We ended up swapping Marmite recipes. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah.
00:21:13
Speaker
So he said, um, so, yeah, cause I live in Italy. So what are you doing with Marmite in Italy? I said, you've no idea if you a bit of, um, do the spaghetti, right? Normal way, boil it, you know, 10 to 12 minutes, however, however you like it. Then a little bit of olive oil, a spoonful of Marmite. Okay. Done deals. Lovely.
00:21:36
Speaker
Lovely. Is this, is this turning into a cooking podcast? Yeah. No, my, my. It's much more specific. Anyhow. Um, so very nice. Yeah.
00:21:53
Speaker
God, what were we talking about? All right. So that's, that's the good. Well, we were talking about the, the good. Yeah. And I think, uh, you know what, I think we might need a little sting, a little sound for the good and the bad. Yeah. Because my ADHD brain brain, my ADHD, ADHD brain needs that kind of like ding. I've got a bell. Yeah. Like old school.
00:22:22
Speaker
Got a bell. It's the one that's half a bell and half a beer bottle opener. Okay. All right. Okay. Cool. All right. Next on onto the bad, the ADHD bad part of the week.
00:22:39
Speaker
uh yeah my if this could have got in the good it's funny funny funny but it's actually not in the end i put it in the in the bad in the bad um i met up with some uh old friends as i said before and they said um
00:22:58
Speaker
I said, well, you're up to these days. I said, well, they're doing this and doing that and I'm doing this podcast on ADHD. So, well, that's funny because we were saying like 15 years ago. So, oh yeah, of course, Paul's ADHD.
00:23:13
Speaker
Oh, look to him. I was like, like a rabbit in the headlights. Um, Oh, God, no. I was like, Oh God, if only you'd said something, you know, Oh, the first thing that came to mind is he, it could have saved me a fortune. Just, you know, economically a fortune. Right. Wow. Right.
00:23:39
Speaker
But OK, so let's take Paul back 15 years and she said, OK, Paul, I think you have ADHD. What would your 15 years younger version of you done with that information? What have I done with it?
00:24:00
Speaker
Well, number one, number one on the list was I would have headed myself off at the past before I compulsively moved from relationship to relationship and from house to house and from country to country and from house to house and all over the place. I was like, okay, Paul, what are you doing? What's this?
00:24:28
Speaker
Yeah, just a heads up on, just on that one detail, one thing, just a heads up, like, okay, what's this, what's going on now? Yeah. So you would have taken that and gone and accepted it, like, okay, yeah, I have ADHD. Take it on. Or I guess you would have looked into it and kind of gone, what is this? Yeah, I would have started to look into it, yeah.
00:24:57
Speaker
Even if you know that such 15 years ago, I was really skeptical skeptical skeptical about that because 15 years ago, I think the only thing we'd heard about in UK with this kind of malarkey was in in the States, you know, and it was really badly reported. Right.
00:25:17
Speaker
You know what I mean? It was like stuff that American clinics were giving out to troublesome teenage boys and that was it. End of story, you know. Yeah. I was having a short conversation obviously on TikTok with someone and they were saying about
00:25:37
Speaker
early diagnosis, like the what if. And my thing was, if I was born in the 60s, if I was diagnosed when I was in the 70s, that would have done nothing for me. Like, because there's no support system. My parents would have done nothing about it.
00:26:03
Speaker
I would have done nothing about it. And in fact, if all my school friends found out that I had ADHD, they would have thought of me as a weird, they would have, I don't know. I kind of feel like there was no support in the playground for that kind of crap. Quite the opposite. Yeah. Right. And even if I'd known in the 80s,
00:26:27
Speaker
When I was kind of going through adolescence and early, the same thing, there would still be no support and I would have just gone, no, I'm going to reject that. It's not until the 90s.
00:26:43
Speaker
when I became more of an adult that I would have entertained that whole thing and it would have been helpful. Yeah, being ready for it. Yeah, it's a good point. Yeah, being ready for it in some weird ways, you know, I'm glad that I'm dealing with it as a 56 year old man in a lot of ways.
00:27:05
Speaker
right you know because like thick right because if you've got narcissistic parents strict parent yes and like me i will say you um you if i had something special like ADHD it would have taken it would have taken the focus
00:27:29
Speaker
Right. Yeah. And made me something different and special and that would not have gone down well. Yeah. That would have just been ignored like no, just a kid. Bustle up. Yeah. Don't look at that shiny thing. It's all about me.
00:27:51
Speaker
Yeah. Right. I don't. Yeah. The, the, my parent would not have wanted to make any special accommodations for me. Yeah. At all. Yeah. Uh, well, as you know, I, I totally get that. I completely understand that. Yeah. I talking about, um, you know, eighties, very early eighties, I was taken to, um, a special hospital for an eating disorder.
00:28:22
Speaker
And they diagnosed me, their diagnosis was eat a whole bottle of full cream milk every day and a Yorkie bar.
00:28:33
Speaker
Uh, okay. Off, off you go. There you go. Off you go. Back to your house. This is after a whole night of this is a great almond street whole night of, um, of, um, all kinds of examinations that were highly embarrassing and, uh, um, shocking. You know, it was terrible. No one sat down with me and said, okay, so where's this? Where's this? Where's this eating disorder coming from?
00:29:00
Speaker
It was almost like there was something wrong with it. In fact, that's what they did. They thought it was something wrong with my stomach. And they put tubes down me with little cameras to see if there's a blockage or some description. No. What were you doing? What was the thing? If you don't mind me asking? Well, eating time was traumatic. So was it? I associated food with trauma.
00:29:31
Speaker
Yeah. Right. And no one, no one likes to said, Oh, what's what's up with him? Is it, could it be something mental? This is like, it's not like in the 1800s or something. This is like in the early eighties.
00:29:45
Speaker
Right. Because obviously I can't help think, OK, right. Well, we were talking about having sensitivities to taste and texture. Yeah. And food is obviously one of those, you know, like certainly, you know, ADHD or even like even autistic ADHD hybrids and autistic is like
00:30:11
Speaker
There's this kind of, there's this weird, you can get very picky eaters. Yeah. I was extremely picky. Extremely. In fact, sometimes I was not welcome to stay with my mates family because it was just, I was a nightmare to cook for.
00:30:31
Speaker
Right. Yeah. I can remember when we were at art college. So this goes back to the 80s, right? Yeah, mid 80s. I can remember we had a conversation. So we're like, I mean, you know, like early, like 20 or something, 22, 20. And I found out that you'd never eaten pizza.
00:30:56
Speaker
before. And I was shocked obviously because you know I think I just lived on pizza at the time. Now you know it's like once a week it's like if you are you just like I say if you are what you eat that makes me a pizza then.
00:31:15
Speaker
I love the damn things. It's like we say with mushrooms, I hated them. And then I realized I got over the consistency problem that I had with mushrooms. I found out they're really fucking tasty. Like, okay, we'll get over that one then. That mental obstacle I created for myself unnecessarily. But yeah, but also I had loads of stuff going on. I was both addicted to sugar.
00:31:41
Speaker
as i was and i still am addicted to less sugar now i'm really addicted to like um acidic stuff like you know sort of really crisps i have twiglets marmite you know it's that end of the spectrum sour yeah yeah harry bows
00:32:01
Speaker
Harry Bow's balsamic vinegar. Ah, man. So yeah, but we've got ADHD and food coming up on a theme Pacific podcast. I know. I'm looking forward to that. It's going to be tasty. Yeah. So that was bad. And we talked about how did food come up in bad?
00:32:25
Speaker
Oh, who knows? Who knows? Who cares? The ADHD brain is a crazy mad place. More tangents than him, 25. Than Isosceles? I don't know. Isosceles? Wasn't he a green god? Oh, that was Apocrates.
00:32:47
Speaker
All right. Yeah. Let's back out of a subject that we don't know much about. And geometry.
ADHD Medication Challenges
00:33:06
Speaker
I've got, that's another book that I bought that I haven't read, of which I've got hundreds. There's another episode. Books I haven't read. All right. So, okay. Then the other bad thing is, this is much more fresh. Yesterday renewed my meds in the hospital. Another shit show. I saw your TikTok. Yeah, yeah, TikTok-ing.
00:33:28
Speaker
another shit show, another time trying to like blood out of a stone trying to get information out of the guy. Because his thing, right, I've got a feeling that my meds are working, I'm on Ritalin, got a feeling they're not bloody working, even if I think the is working with my I'm much better at impossivity, as in doing it less, not more.
00:33:55
Speaker
Um, but my, my thoughts are still very, very busy and racy and all over the shop. So we up my dosage, right? Right. So 30 milligrams twice a day. So 60 milligrams a day of Ritalin. I'm not taking that kidding me. It's way too much for me.
00:34:17
Speaker
Um, and then I just started saying, well, you know, that could be good, but things, things at the moment, I'm not working anything. So I've got no structure. And, you know, said, this is more of a question to you really. Um, you know, if I had more structure and have a job and, you know,
00:34:33
Speaker
next week, for example, I've got a job and I've got to take it written. It may be in that context, it's going to make more sense having that kind of dosage. And he just went, yeah, yeah. And that was it. And then I was about to go, he'd written out my prescription and he said, Oh, by the way,
00:34:53
Speaker
By the way, if you're not doing it already, always look on the bright side of life. No, they didn't say that. He said, always take a photocopy. Every time you get a prescription of it, get a photocopy of it and keep it with you all the time. Because if you get stopped in the car and they get a trace of your amphetamines, you're screwed. Oh, okay.
00:35:20
Speaker
It's like, so hang on a minute, you know that these are amphetamines, but you're not giving me any goddamn advice about it. You know, it's like linking the two things like, hang on, there's something that doesn't add up here. I mean, well, firstly, how would they know there's amphetamines in your system unless they did a blood test? They would have to arrest you
00:35:47
Speaker
then you'd have to go down to the station and then they'll take a blood sample, then they'll send it off to the lab and then they'll come back. He's a specialist psychiatric doctor, specialist in ADHD. So I guess it's come up in the past with other patients. I guess so. I don't know how it works in Italy. You've never heard that over your end of the planet?
00:36:15
Speaker
No. Okay. But if you have and you're listening to this, get on the comments. I was seriously interested. Tell us. Yeah. Seriously interested. I did take a copy of my official ADHD diagnosis, rubber stamped and signed when I traveled to the UK.
00:36:42
Speaker
Right. Like if she was stopped in luggage, looking for Marmite and they come across amphetamines and they're going to want to see the documentation. Right. Because ours, the documentation's on the label. Right. Right. Because it has my, has all the, you know, all the info on there. Yeah.
00:37:10
Speaker
who my doctor is, what my prescription number is. So all the info is there. Anyway, yeah, we really could find out from our community who's, you know, if this has come up for anyone, any Italians out there. Jeff, tell us. Any Italians want to call us from their prison cells.
00:37:36
Speaker
Yeah. I'll have, I have one call and it's to these guys on the podcast. Yeah, exactly. Well worth it. Live on air. You can hear the keys jangling.
00:37:49
Speaker
Yeah. I've got 15 minutes. Come on. So how's the soul for you? You've got something bad, Martin, to share with us? I'm just taking some vitamin D, which is perfect for ADHD and for seasonal affective disorder. When it's this time of year, it's all kind of dark.
00:38:15
Speaker
Um, uh, but the, but the bad stuff is I haven't been going swimming. I haven't been doing enough physical exercise apart from walking, walking the dog. Um, I I've not. So after, after this, um, I'm going to make lunch and then I'm going to go swimming. So I'm going to try and break that. Please, please do photos. Please. If anything's going to go viral on a Tik TOK, that's the one.
00:38:45
Speaker
Well, you know, in the, in the ill fitting species, the TikTok in Beijing, someone's going to go, it's just going to be kind of like, it's going to implode on itself with the, with the, with the traffic. Yeah. I think if I pulled out a phone in the, in the changing room, it won't go well.
00:39:05
Speaker
It won't go well. Right. Okay. All right. Um, all right. So, uh, I think it's time for you to ring your, your bell and then we can move into the, there we go. All right. The ugly bill. So, um, yeah. So.
00:39:23
Speaker
What has been ugly for you? I haven't really got anything. I've only got really ADHD stuff. To me it's ugly and it's a completely exaggerated form of ugliness. I've got hyphenation, capitalisation and exclamation marks.
00:39:41
Speaker
that's my kind of downright ugly oh man you've been you've been fixating on i always have someone writes me an email and it's already capital capitals with exclamation marks
00:40:00
Speaker
But that's because I work with Italians and they're really overdramatic. It could be like, oh, should we send you a message like, oh, don't forget to check the color proofs. And there's nothing urgent about it. And I've done nothing wrong. But they'll write it all in caps with like six exclamation marks on it for no reason. It's ridiculous. And it would really wind me up.
00:40:27
Speaker
Like, what? That's so ridiculous. And I got to the point where I did tell people that it's like a bit shouty. I used to go to a little bit shouty. Oh, it's very shouty. It's really shouty.
00:40:42
Speaker
And then for an English boy, because the way I am, I said, well, did you know that the exclamation mark used to be originally, it was a symbol of admiration. That's what it was actually created for. It's a sign of admiration. So when you're shouting at me and then admiring me, you know, you know, where are you going with that? All right. All right. And then your hyphenation.
00:41:12
Speaker
like, um, yeah, big on, but, and in commas, you know, the whole thing to me, that's ugliness. I'm obsessive about it. Yeah. Okay. Well, well, what's that, you know, on the, on the ugly scale, um, I would say that's that, that, that barely has a blip. It's a, it's a,
00:41:35
Speaker
It's a good ugly to have rather than having a screaming screaming fitting, kicking doors and and where, you know, where
00:41:45
Speaker
where things get really ugly. There was just one other thing in there, because I was with a psychologist a few years ago. I was in a really bad place at the time. She said, OK, Paul, what I want you to do now, between now and next week, instead of resisting this depression, this black hole that you're in at the moment, I said, I want you to embrace it for a week. Take it on.
00:42:15
Speaker
go as deep as you like, go as deep as you want with it. Go with it. Jesus. A whole week. Yeah. A week. That's a long time. Yeah. In a black hole. Yeah. So that was, that was fun. Didn't do it. Because by, by the irony of that is he suddenly realized, what's the point? That was her provocation, I think.
00:42:41
Speaker
It's like when you, when you actually people like say, tell you to do it, you know, just go with it. Then, you know, fucking idiot, you know, that's where you want to go. Go with it. Go down that hole. And then when someone says that, it's like, Oh God, why, why would I want to do that? Does it make any logical sense at all? Cause it doesn't say actually really worked in the end. She sorted me out nicely.
00:43:11
Speaker
Well, that's why she gets paid the, the. Make a bucks. Medium bucks. Yeah. Medium bucks. Yeah, exactly. Medium bucks. Anyhow, how, how was, have you got anything of ugliness? On the, I think the, uh, the very ugly side this week is because also have like a side dish of, of RSD, which is the rejection sensitivity disorder. It, it makes it.
00:43:41
Speaker
So that, I mean, I had an, I had an argument with my wife the other day, and then you kind of get about halfway through it. And then you kind of go, oh, hang on. This is like an RSD thing coming in. And then your wife's going, yeah, this is your RSD coming in. And I'm having an argument that I needn't have had. Head it off at the pass. Head it off the pass. Yeah.
00:44:12
Speaker
Right, RSD, and we will come on to some point, is a very interesting and nasty little part that most people with ADHD have.
Coping with Relationship Struggles
00:44:25
Speaker
And then it will flash up in an instance. So it isn't necessarily something you can head off at the pass, but there's a gap in between you feeling it and then it coming out of your mouth.
00:44:39
Speaker
Yeah. There was a gap. Yeah. There was a gap there of which you could actually jump on your horse and head it off at the pass and start laying out the sandbags. Right. And I'm, yeah, so I didn't do a good job of that this week. Okay.
00:44:59
Speaker
Yeah, but you know, we all we all survived. It's just, you know, it's funny, though, because now we've it's it's only like in the last couple of days that we decided to good the bad and the ugly.
00:45:10
Speaker
But I think it would be, there'd be a bit of muscle memory coming into it, you know, as we go forward with this new format, you know, it's like, cause I know I've got some ugly stuff in there that I could have juicy stuff, you know, but nothing popped into my mind. I know this stuff, you know, I probably did have RSD, you know, in my, in my kind of, uh, in the last few days, but, um, yeah.
00:45:38
Speaker
Um, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. I think, uh, we've done that. So if it like ends it. That's the, uh, the, uh, the bell so we can now jump, we'll jump, uh, we'll head over to the post office, uh, in the car. So, uh, let's, uh, Oh, you know what? I was going to say.
00:46:09
Speaker
now that I've weirdly uh god it's taking so long for that thought to come into my head which was I was going to say that our mares car yeah right I was going to get it painted in the star skiing hutch style oh man
00:46:27
Speaker
I thought, oh, wouldn't it be good if we had our best car in red with the white smoosh on it? That'd be great, because it'd be like honoring Starsky and Hutch. We could drive around ADHD villain there, and that would be like everyone would start cheering us and bring back loads of cardigan memories.
00:46:46
Speaker
yeah um yeah i brought up a memory for me i forgot there was this thing i think it was it was a tick tock thing yesterday that brought up something there's a lady talking about when she was a kid and she used to line up really precisely all of her dolls and it's like oh my god i used to like ride up my dolls too that didn't i used to like wait what no still light up all my matchbox cars
00:47:13
Speaker
I used to literally out on the floor, all my matchbox cards would be like, you know, 30 of them. And I would look down the line of all the cards, like get down, down on the floor and make sure they're perfectly in line. Right. Yeah. Right. Then get the hammer out, bash the hell out of them. Wait, what? Yeah.
00:47:40
Speaker
Well, that was a surprising turn. Yeah. That's what made me thought of it, the Starskin Hutch car. Because I think I had one, a plastic one, not a metal one. I think I had a Starskin Hutch car and I had a Cojack car.
00:47:58
Speaker
All right. Love those. But yeah, what was going on there, Martin? Pick the what's it out of that? I'm going to spend the rest of the week just ruminating on that one. Right. There's some weird shit going on there, right? It's the care and attention, right? Making sure that they're all perfect. And then the
00:48:27
Speaker
than the destructive chaos of the hammer.
00:48:32
Speaker
It's hammer time. All right. That's cool. I like that. If anyone has any theories on that. Pick the freakiness out of that little story. Yeah. Get your theories in the comments.
00:49:00
Speaker
Um, all right, so let's get into the mayor's car, which I would have had painted specially, but I, but I didn't anyway. Uh, so if you could, if you could just put your hammer away, Paul and we'll get in the, in the car. The post office. Yeah. Yeah. It's miserable.
00:49:24
Speaker
It's such a miserable place in here. We really ought to spend some money and tarp this place up a bit. Yeah. I don't think we've touched up the payments since the 70s. No. I still got like... It's not even a particularly nice... I think we've still got some like lickable stamps. Oh, they're the best kind, no? Yeah, exactly.
00:49:51
Speaker
Reminds me of a dad joke. All right. Anyway, let's move on to you saying... Me saying, oh yeah. So this is my bit. We put it, we highlight it in blue so that it would prompt me into some kind of level of professionalism.
Engaging with the Community
00:50:10
Speaker
So anyway, it says here, your feedback is really vital to us. We read all of the comments and we might read yours out on a future podcast like
00:50:21
Speaker
These two, we've got a couple of comments, haven't we, Martin? Yeah, the first one's real. So we had a comment on TikTok saying that from a guy who's, sorry, I can't remember who is your, what your handle was. You guys are cool. Hang on, I've got it, let's be. Come on, mate.
00:50:46
Speaker
All right. It's like the 13th hour podcast. It's TTHP. Yes, something like that. He knows who he is. The 13th hour podcast. That's who it is, Paul.
00:51:10
Speaker
you can you can come back to the mic. Yeah, we know who it is. Okay. So he said, so he said, you guys are cool. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. All for that. I said thanks. Yeah, yes. And we've got another one here, Martin.
00:51:28
Speaker
from Leonardo underscore da underscore Vinci which I presume we pronounce Leonardo da Vinci for Florence weirdly says wow wish I'd found your podcast before I could have avoided so much stress in my life especially personal grooming
00:51:46
Speaker
have you seen my bead recently full of pizza crumbs martin's advice with the post-it notes especially valuable already got 35 post-it notes attached to my wooden wooden wooden wooden hylicopter there you go someone in Florence there's already um you know picking up on our on your um hacks one of your hacks martin yeah as i do some hacks on the tiktoks uh yeah yeah you're fake
00:52:16
Speaker
Yeah, really? Yeah, that was a fake review, Paul, and you know it. Yeah, I love that kind of shit. What can I say? All right. I'll probably repeat it as I do most of my really bad jokes. I repeat them at least five, six times before I give up on them.
00:52:44
Speaker
All right. So, uh, I think we can just, um, walk back. We go to the end segment, end segment of the, uh, the backend of the episode. I think, uh, I think that was, that was our good, bad and, uh, decidedly ugly episode. Uh, so that was this inaugural and as ever unslic.
00:53:13
Speaker
and slick just how you like it exactly somehow you know yeah somehow um what's the word god i can't we're hanging on your every word yeah that's a shame isn't it because i can't remember them yeah
00:53:30
Speaker
The world is gone. It's gone. It's gone. All right. Yeah. In that case, it just leads it to me to remind you that ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all purveyors of fine podcasts. Yeah. Please subscribe and rate us. Most marvelous. And feel free to correspond with us in the comments section. But wait, there is more.
00:54:00
Speaker
if you want to see our beautiful beautiful faces you can hop onto the youtubes you can also see us on on the tick tockies and the facebook is cupboard of friends and instagram is right instagrams yeah and you can also
00:54:23
Speaker
Yeah. So, um, say hi and we'll say hi back. Yeah. And if you feel, uh, you can also pick up a quill and email us at ADHDville at gmail.com. Yeah. And then that just leaves us to, to, um, dance away. Yeah. Out of the episode, just where my neck loosens up, set up.
00:54:52
Speaker
yeah yeah yeah because as we know dancing is is very good for ADHD oh yeah one of Paul's top tips the best the best the best the best yeah all right well until next tuesday be fucking kind to yourself and uh from my part know thyself sons of the hounds come hither and get flesh there says the mayor that's that