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Doing Hard Things
434 Plays3 years ago
The common wisdom is that restaurants are where money goes to die. But Toney and Sarah Chem have no room for common wisdom, they’re too busy killin’ it as the owners and operators of 5 Borough Bagels, a Clive by-the-way-of New York bagel shop serving bagels and bagel sandwiches that are unlike anything else coming out of the Midwest. But uncommon paths are full of uncommon challenges and restaurant money isn’t easy nor guaranteed.
This week on the show, the Chem’s talk about their perseverance in the face of hard things, including dealing with staff theft, stress, initial funding, eliminating alcohol, and readjusting to life after a pregnancy that changed them forever. Also, the importance of knowing your numbers, focusing on your customer, and getting the right help.
You can learn more by going to 5boroughbagels.com
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Transcript
What is an Uncommon Life?
00:00:03
Speaker
Everyone dreams about living an uncommon life, but how we define that dream is very different for each of us. And for most, it's a lifelong pursuit.
Introduction to the Uncommon Life Project
00:00:12
Speaker
Welcome to the Uncommon Life Project podcast. We're going to introduce you to people who are living that life or enjoying the journey to get there. We're going to also give you some tools, tricks, and tips for starting or accelerating your own efforts to live an uncommon life.
00:00:28
Speaker
A life worth celebrating and savoring. Please welcome your hosts, Brian Dewhurst and Philip Ramsey.
Meet Tony and Sarah of Five Burroughs Bagels
00:00:36
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another episode of Everyone's Favorite Show, The Uncommon Life Project. I'm your host, Phillip Ramsey, and we have the one and only Aaron Cramer. Yes, we do. We cannot wait to jump into this show. We have two amazing guests. And if you know anything about the show, you know that my favorite thing to interview is couples, husband and wife, people that are dominating at life. And we got those two.
00:01:00
Speaker
But before we jump in, I want to just reiterate that we are financial advisors that think very differently. In other words, we're like your advisors to the unadvisable. What does that mean? It means that if you have an amazing idea, we want to edify that by showing you how your cash flow can help you with your amazing idea so you can go impact the world and love your life. So that was my elevator speech, which I hate elevator speeches.
00:01:25
Speaker
So, all right, let's get the bio and then let's get on the show because they are way more exciting than I am. Come on, let's go, Aaron. Yes, I wanna introduce Tony and Sarah. They are the owners of Five Burgle Bagels. Yes. And it is amazing. So if you don't know me, I love food. I eat a lot of it. And when I go there, like the bagels, the breakfast food, all of it is amazing. When you walk in there, it's fun. It's like,
00:01:52
Speaker
You know, like a unique outlook in there. And I don't know, it's addicting pretty much. It is. And when Aaron said this is who we're going to interview, he's like, they've got this sandwich called the Empire. That is the best thing. So welcome to the show. Tony and Sarah. We can't wait to have an almond.
Financial Challenges in the Restaurant Business
00:02:09
Speaker
Well, first off, I love that you guys are one doing what you're passionate about and impacting others. They do have a restaurant, five Burroughs Bagels. That is in West Des Moines.
00:02:21
Speaker
Or is it Clive? That West Des Moines Clive area, kind of sketchy. It's Clive. It feels West Des Moines, but it's Clive. It's off university. If you haven't been there, a lot of our listeners are local. You need to stop listening to this podcast and just go there. They're probably going to be there anyway, so they'll probably be generous enough to say hi. You guys have a second location too, right?
00:02:41
Speaker
Yeah, that second location is in Urbandale. So that's in the works and it will reopen sometime in August. Ah, so good. Okay, so this is my first question because it's always like, what is he going to ask? Basically, that's what all of our listeners are thinking. This is what I've heard and you guys debunk it because you guys are actually thriving.
00:03:02
Speaker
Money, to go to die, go to restaurants. Restaurant money goes to die. That's what good money goes to do. Is that true or not? Obviously, it's not for you guys, but why is that saying out there? I feel that because it's so true in so many places.
Scaling a Business and Knowing Your Numbers
00:03:20
Speaker
But you really got to fight tooth and nail every day. Yeah, you got to learn your numbers too. Right. You got to set a formula into making sure you're making a profit. On every single item. I mean, I'm dyslexic and I'm a numbers person, so you can imagine the struggle I have. But numbers are my thing, so we work really well off of each other because Tony doesn't really like
00:03:49
Speaker
I feel you Sarah there.
00:03:52
Speaker
I mean, a lot of people who tend to fail in restaurants is because they don't know how to handle their money. You know, a lot of people want to open restaurants because they have a passion for it. Once you go into it, I mean, you have to deal with payroll, you have to deal with HR, you have to deal with taxes, you know, bookkeeping. So there's a whole team there. And if you really think about it, if you don't know any of those, you're going to set yourself up to fail.
00:04:21
Speaker
Unfortunately. Right. Have you ever read this book called the E-Myth? I don't know if you either one of them. Oh, guys. What you are describing is the crux of the book. They take a baker that's amazing at making pies. And at the end of it, she opens up a business that is what? Making pies. And what she finds is she almost imprisons herself because she doesn't have people to replicate
00:04:46
Speaker
her business. She just has to go and then go make pies. And so she hates it at the end. And the only time it's successful is when she makes the pies. She doesn't make it scalable. She doesn't know her numbers. And so it's what you guys are saying is like, you got to know your numbers. Basically, you guys wrote
Pricing Strategies and COVID Impact
00:05:04
Speaker
that book.
00:05:04
Speaker
And you guys are killing it. You know, some people may call it petty and we were very transparent, you know, since day one with a lot of things, pretty much everything. But I mean, down to like the parchment paper and foil we use. Yes. You know, when our staff drops like four or five of them, I'm already doing math in my head, like,
00:05:26
Speaker
Oh, it just cost me 15 cents. But I mean, it adds up, you know, so. How do you go about understanding those numbers at first? Sorry, this is Erin. Erin knows you better than I do. And I feel like I'm totally taking it. You're good. So how do you know the numbers? Like, how does one go about understanding the numbers? We do everything ourselves when it comes to menu design, creating a menu,
00:05:52
Speaker
ordering products. It's all us. We're all involved all in. So that's how we know price increases per week. And when you're doing a formula, when you're trying to find the percent of profit you're looking for when you sell an item, we always want to shoot for
A Love Story: From New York to Iowa
00:06:10
Speaker
under 30%. And that's what's helping us out a lot too. Granted, some things have been changing, obviously, because of COVID. Oh, yeah.
00:06:20
Speaker
There's prices that have jumped doubled, tripled, and then obviously the payroll with our staff, we're having to increase all of their pay too. So it's still in the works. Have we mastered anything yet? No, because I'm a big believer is if you need to, if you're wanting to grow more, you got to be willing to be open and listen to others. And there's always room to change and grow.
00:06:48
Speaker
Yeah. Collect good feedback. Okay. I'm going to, poor Aaron's going to ask a question. It's going to go on the same thought track, but I want to go backwards. Have you always been a restaurant owner? The answer is no. So tell me like a little bit of your history and how you got to where you're at. And I'd like to know, cause it's Phillip. I want to know how you guys met cause you're obviously married. I don't know if we ever said that. They're married. Tada. Tada. We actually met in union square in New York city.
00:07:14
Speaker
Wow. This is like a movie. Keep going, Sarah. Keep going. I was 19 and... I knew her sister, actually, for about a couple of years before I even met Sarah. And I met her and she had a Newport sticking out of her mouth. Oh, yes. Well, let's just get a show as a Newport 100. Oh, yeah. I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool. Some people will.
00:07:38
Speaker
Okay. I was a smoker back then too, but we automatically clicked, became friends. I just got out of a bad relationship of seven years and I was not ready for anything. Yeah, I was secretly in love with him the whole time. Yes, you were. I've met Tony. I get it. Get in line, like I said. So good.
00:08:03
Speaker
No, but yeah, we were best friends for years and I, I wait, I told him I waited, I will wait. And I did.
00:08:12
Speaker
And so awesome. Something about her, like about willing to wait just kind of melt in my heart. And eventually, you know, after knowing each other for about four or five years, being friends, we were at my karaoke bar because I love karaoke. Wait, your karaoke book, not the one you owned, but the one that you would own on the stage. That one. Yeah, I get it. OK. No, but I asked her to marry me at our going away party. Shut up. Yeah.
00:08:42
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We were just at the karaoke and then you realize that you actually liked her like different. No, we were actually dating at that time for what? Maybe a year. And he, he took the mic and karaoke proposed. What was your song? Wait, wait, wait. Oh, my. What's your go to song? He has a song.
00:09:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's L.B. by Edwin McCain. Yes! Okay, paint the picture and then you get down on your knee. Did you sing first or did you just like go straight to it? Oh, I sang first. I was aiming to ask her to marry me at that time because we were about to move to Iowa and I wanted to be romantic, but it made sense because everyone that she knew there and loved were all there and we just wanted to be there and celebrate. So I was kind of forced.
00:09:32
Speaker
Excuse me? No. Get in the best way. Back it up. No, it was, it was, I wouldn't change anything. It was fun, right?
00:09:44
Speaker
That's amazing. So you get down on your knee, you're proposed. First off, just so we're all on the same page, I had like this whole thing I wanted to say to my wife before I proposed. And what came out looked like more like the dumb and dumber thing, you know? You know what I'm saying. Okay. So if you would have put a microphone in front of me right then, people would be like, Oh, I think he had a stroke.
00:10:03
Speaker
So, did you say what you wanted to do in the microphone or like, I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with your uncommon path, but it kind of does. So, let's go there. For the most part, but yeah, I cried like a baby. So, yes, Tony. And then like the end of the night, like she was wearing this bright red lipstick and it was like all over me. It was pretty funny. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. So, why were you moving to Iowa and what were you doing in New York? Great question.
00:10:27
Speaker
Oh, we wanted a fresh start. Sarah just had graduated as a graphic designer. She couldn't find a job anywhere because, you know, most places wanted 10 plus years of experience, which is crazy. I'm supposed to experience if you can't get a job. Exactly. Yeah. Dude, I know.
00:10:47
Speaker
So I was working in like nonstop, just in New York, you had the hustle just to pay rent. And I was living in the living room too. So we were like, you know what, we are in our mid 20s. Half of a living room. Right. Well, we're living in our 20s there and we decided to up and leave, come to Iowa, check it out, see what's here. I started working at the Marriott and became
00:11:13
Speaker
a manager for their bar and restaurant. Sarah became a art director for a small magazine company.
00:11:20
Speaker
Yeah, we kind of just, well, first off, we never had the same work schedule ever, like as a couple. In New York or ever? Ever. I worked overnight for the register as a designer, and that was horrible schedule-wise for us as a couple. And then, yeah, we morphed into the idea
00:11:47
Speaker
And you want to tell him how we got started with the bagels? Wait, I don't want that yet. I'm sorry. Where's Iowa? Like you're from New York.
Starting a Bagel Shop: Challenges and Risks
00:11:55
Speaker
Oh, Tony's from Pella. I'm from. Oh, there it is. OK. That's why he's so karaoke. We did drive a new haul, you know, from Queens. Yeah. Straight to Pella. OK. I cried a lot. Yeah. Were you like just like, wow, that just got really flat. But newly engaged, everyone. Newly engaged. Newly engaged. Lots of flatness.
00:12:16
Speaker
Yeah. All my friends from New York are like when I was up in college, like I was so flat. I'm like, it's not that flat. What are you talking about? Then I got to go to New York and I was like, okay, I get it. Yeah. You don't know until you know.
00:12:33
Speaker
Yeah, well, I was born raised here. I don't really get out much. See, go back to Pella, Tony. Tony, that was bold. Bold move. Oh, yeah. I needed, I mean, I enjoyed Pella. And, but it was, I just turned 18 dealing with a lot of personal things in my life and I just needed to go. And I upped and left and
00:12:54
Speaker
I started a new life in New York. It was crazy, but I stuck around to make sure my family was okay too. And I lived there for 10 years in New York, but at that time, in our mid 20s, when me and Sarah decided to move to Iowa, it was just the perfect timing, I think, because especially for Des Moines too, we decided to come when everything was just growing. Right.
00:13:21
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. So now bagels. Now we're there. Sorry. A little detail. That's actually a really cool story. So we
Overcoming Personal and Financial Struggles
00:13:29
Speaker
were in our townhome and I believe it was either a Tuesday. I remember the day started with a T, Tuesday or Thursday. I don't know why. Narrow it down.
00:13:38
Speaker
So it was raining that night. And I remember going to Tony. I'm like, hey, I really want a New York style bagel. And out here, there's no such thing in my opinion. So we went to Target and bought all the ingredients. And however many hours later, we pulled them out of the oven, tasted it and we were like, holy shit. Yes. Let's go.
00:14:06
Speaker
And so I jokingly, I looked at him and I'm like, oh my God, Tony, let's hop in a bagel shop. And then he was like, OK. And then I was like, OK. Oh, man, we risked everything. But literally that night we were looking at spaces. That's so awesome. The next bumps.
00:14:24
Speaker
I felt like we should like slow clap you into that story. That was how awesome that was. It was just so like I remember calling my dad that next morning, you know, because all my family's in New York and and Israel and Israel. And I remember he was like.
00:14:40
Speaker
What? Are you crazy? Come again? Where are you living? Everyone still thinks we're crazy. I think we're crazy, but you kind of have to be in this industry. You do. Yeah, you do. You have to be open to failure even.
00:14:57
Speaker
So you nailed your first thing out of the oven. So kudos to you for sure there. But you really didn't have a background in cooking, right? Or baking? What do you say? Baking? Well, being in the restaurant industry since I was 16 helped me out a lot. And I also had the experience with the hospitality. You know, I shadowed Martha Stewart in New York.
00:15:21
Speaker
I didn't really do much. I just took care of her dogs. You got her on her cell phone. You probably did because we're the dogs. Okay. That's cool. That's important too. But yeah, I definitely learned how to take care of people. And I think if you ever go to her shop, I mean, we'll get to it in more detail, but we do teach our staff to be very prompt and making sure that customers are always being taken care of and acknowledged. That's the most important thing too. You want people to
00:15:51
Speaker
Come back as regulars we're on first name basis with a lot of people yes love that like i have my background is north strum in new york so tony's is maria so i mean we came from very strict pretty strong pedigree pretty strong i'm all marketing as well so tony had a restaurant i had marketing and we both just meshed really well when it came to that it's going back to the basics i know it's very um it's very played out and um
00:16:21
Speaker
But if you really think about it like i don't know what year or what decade have been but there used to be a time when people. Put passion to what they were doing you don't see that a lot anymore it's always about money driven kind of places. Yeah people forget that you know.
00:16:42
Speaker
there's others who want to be heard who wants a relationship not just with the owners or the employees but with the restaurant itself and I think we provide that for a lot of people hence why we have lots of customers who support us when we need them. That's great. That is like so everything you just said is like awesome it's so uncomfortable but like I want our listeners to know this too because you guys had this amazing idea got goosebumper to tell them a story. Now
00:17:10
Speaker
The biggest thing is like, how much did it cost you guys to get up and running? Like, great question. Yeah, that's. Well, we definitely had to take some shortcuts because right being in our mid 20s, you know, without a secure job, we just moved across the. Just moved. Just moved. Just got married. Oh, there's you guys got married now. OK. Oh, yeah, we're married by that time.
00:17:35
Speaker
We took our life savings and put that money into investing into this restaurant. Granted, we took some shortcuts, so we definitely wanted to find a spot where everything was going to be less stress on us, meaning some of the equipment was still there. The layout was there.
00:17:58
Speaker
There are hidden secrets like we are next to a bank, we are next to a grocery store. There's times, even currently, you run out of things. Right, the location, location, location. Absolutely. And all the businesses with our regulars, it's really convenient for them and us. Right.
00:18:19
Speaker
Quick, before we go on further, and you don't have to answer this, but I feel like a lot of times people think that they need to amass all this wealth before they can start an investment, which I love this. So like, what are we talking about? Just give us like dollar amounts that like you had.
00:18:38
Speaker
It's a little hard to say. We don't really like to share it into too depth. I can't talk into deep with that, but let's just say it was a little more than expected and there were a lot of panic attacks.
00:18:54
Speaker
Sure. Okay. Cause it was all you had. You don't have like a backstop. Literally no, no franchise background. Like literally, um, nothing, nothing. And it's hard to even get it alone without any history, no collateral.
00:19:10
Speaker
Because at the townhome we were in, that wasn't a balloon rate for our interest. It wasn't even a mortgage because we weren't even in Iowa long enough to get a mortgage. That makes sense. Yeah, totally. Because we were all high risk everywhere.
00:19:29
Speaker
Yeah, basically in the nutshell, you guys risked everything as a young couple. Literally everything. We did spend maybe less than $100,000 just to open something like this. Granted, that sounds like a lot of money still, but you're also at the risk into spending money to make money. I mean, everyone's heard that saying. Absolutely. Definitely true.
00:19:52
Speaker
Which were, you know, where you talk about risk taking, somebody that has no, you know, back, you know, no help or backup plan, which obviously we learned later, you always need to plan B CED. But that's not true. People ask me that, like, they're like, what's your contingent plan? I'm like, what's a contingent
00:20:19
Speaker
I have my plan. I will do everything I can to make this plan work. You know, the stars don't align sometimes, right? We've been there many times. Like our daughter was born three months early in the middle of a new restaurant. You're being open and you know, we didn't, we didn't profit for the first or two years. It was scary. And then our stuff, I think during that time,
00:20:45
Speaker
It was very vital because a lot of them just up and left and we were left with a two pound baby in the NICU and then going to work and then going back to the hospital and then I really fell into a deep, deep, deep depression. That was very dark. It was a very dark time.
00:21:07
Speaker
Wow. I know we're supposed to inspire people. No, this is real. This is real. So like new baby restaurant slash five boroughs bagels. You've got to get it off the route. So what we kind of say in the analogy is like you're on a plane, you're going on the runway. It might not have, it hasn't taken off the runway yet. Does that make sense? And you, at some point, let's just say the cashflow that you did save, you know that that runway is going to run out eventually, right? That's the risk. And so are you going to get this hanger off the runway?
00:21:35
Speaker
faster than the runway ends on. And then you put a baby that's three months early in the mix. I mean, I could really see, let's say everything is running great. Having a baby and after that is real. Like there are real emotions. So like the depression sounds like that's almost to be expected, but then you add the whole business component on it and it's a whole different
00:22:00
Speaker
world. Well, the key word that stuck out was different.
Tony's Journey to Sobriety
00:22:05
Speaker
So I, you know, of course it takes two to get that baby, but I really, I was a different person after that experience. And I, it took me, I'm, what are we four years and I'm not, I don't think I'll ever recover mentally, but fully.
00:22:21
Speaker
Yeah, she deals with it every day. And we both do, but we have to keep moving. And there's there's a lot of things that can hit you. I mean, we just recently had a miscarriage, too. Wow. And it's is it hard? Yes. So sorry. But we keep we keep moving on and we look forward to doing something that we know how to do, which is having this business run very well.
00:22:44
Speaker
Right, because the passion is still there. And, you know, our communication, like Tony mentioned earlier with being sober, it is a huge help as far as communication, like even now, going through dark times.
00:23:00
Speaker
So to let our listeners a little bit in, so we, uh, Aaron and I went to the five burrows bagels, uh, actually yesterday and saw Tony and Aaron said, Hey, Tony, you look great. Have you lost weight? And Tony said, yes, I have 40 pounds. And Aaron next question is like, how did you do that? And I was really keen to hear this because I was excited about it. Uh, and then he said, well, I've stopped drinking. It's one of those things I've started exercising. So
00:23:23
Speaker
So that's what when you say that you've stopped drinking. So talk to us about that kind of continuum, Tony, and how you came to that realization, and then also what it's given not only your business, but your marriage, it sounds like. Yeah, I mean, to anyone who drinks.
00:23:41
Speaker
You have to decide yourself whether or not you want in your life. I'm not against drinking at all, but I had to find out on my own that it was not helping me. Maybe it was temporarily fixed, but in the long run, when I was doing it every day, it didn't only affect my mind state, but it affected my marriage.
00:24:03
Speaker
There's times when Sarah needed me mentally and I was just not there or I wouldn't remember and I just wanted to relax.
00:24:11
Speaker
And this is during a time, you know, especially when I'm going through the postpartum issues and, you know, I, my brain just took a U-turn. I was getting like suicidal thoughts and I was in a very, very dark place and I couldn't even rely 100% on my husband because of it. It just makes me really sad, like disappointed in myself.
00:24:38
Speaker
But this is why we're talking about it because it's real and it really happened and we are continuing every day to be better and it's worked. Yeah, I'm just... Praise the Lord thinking of you Tony of like stepping up and seeing that and making the change. It is not easy. Yeah, like talk about the like the definition of masculinity
00:25:00
Speaker
It is that right there. Like you did it. Like you're like, you owned
Business Growth and Future Vision
00:25:05
Speaker
like you dug inside, you looked inside yourself, you realized it and you stepped up. Like, yeah.
00:25:14
Speaker
I can't even put into words how proud. I mean, he's had, you know, a really rough go at life in his early years. And now I feel like, you know, this was just an obstacle that he overcame. And I am so proud of you. It's just crazy to like them.
00:25:35
Speaker
This whole time i was drinking for years and years and it kind of opened up something in my brain where where it was slowly healing and i'm like wow it's like i can actually think straight without having some kind of anxiety so it's
00:25:51
Speaker
It's definitely opened up a piece of my brain where I can be a little more confident. And I'm also a big believer on words. You tell yourself that you're something than you are. What kind of helped me throughout this process of stopping drinking is
00:26:09
Speaker
It did not work for me, but I understand it works for other people. I did try the AA meetings, but I just did not agree with someone standing up saying, I'm an alcoholic. Because right then and there, you're giving alcohol the power, the power to control you. You're scared of alcoholic labeling.
00:26:28
Speaker
And you go to bars like, oh, no, I can't be there. Or people act weird like, oh, you're not drinking. I don't want to be around you. Then I don't want to I don't want to make you drink. So I'm like, I say I'm not a formal alcoholic. I just I just say drinking is not for me and I don't like it. But I'm not going to judge anyone for doing that.
00:26:45
Speaker
Right. Just like last night, we had a gathering and it was fun. I got to hang out with people. Yeah, they were drinking, but it doesn't, I don't mind it and I can actually remember it. So, yeah. So good. And it seems like when you look at the past, you saw how foggy you were actually living your life.
Living with OCD and Depression
00:27:02
Speaker
There was like a haze over it. Yeah. Now you can look back, but it's when you're in the fog, you're just like, this is my life. So, like, what could be different? I really can't do it.
00:27:10
Speaker
As we're approaching our six-year anniversary at FIBRO, and we're reflecting on month-to-month, our March, so that just ended yesterday, that was our highest ever month, and we're hitting about a 13-20% increase in net sales every month, continuing. If you really think about it,
00:27:39
Speaker
like we never really did get to talk about numbers when when you were because we were just in survival mode but now we're both clear headed and we're even more unified for sure yeah we also have to thank like staff that we have right now too because oh man yeah
00:27:56
Speaker
And you know, opening this new restaurant while dealing with a growing restaurant can be very consuming. And without the proper staff not taking care of the current shop we have, we wouldn't be able to kind of plan or even do this podcast even. Right, because we glued to the floor.
00:28:13
Speaker
So good. It really speaks to your guys' leadership. I mean, don't get me wrong. It did not always feel like this. Another thing we didn't really disclose with a lot of people is we had a former
00:28:31
Speaker
employees steal from us during our miscarriage. Oh, wow. That was also during the time we renovated the restaurant. So it was really dark. All the charges were pressed on her accordingly, which we're thankful for the Clive Police Department for handling that. But now we're new year, new restaurant, new team, our management team right now.
00:29:00
Speaker
Scott and Orianna. I mean, they're a gift. Yeah, and they're a power couple just like us. Right. Oh, they're married? Nice. They're better from girlfriends. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Not yet, Phillip. I don't know.
00:29:18
Speaker
That's good. Let me ask you this, Sarah, because you mentioned it a couple of times. And you seem like you're in a healthier place now. Yes. How did you get out of that dark place? And maybe this is going to be the most life giving thing for maybe a listener out there. So I'd love to give you some time.
The Power of Transparency
00:29:32
Speaker
I'm not out of it, to be honest. I live with it. There are really good days where I just put a smile. You would have no idea. I'm very high functioning. But I found the right diagnosis and
00:29:47
Speaker
The right medication, the sertraline that I was prescribed really helped. Later in life, I was diagnosed with OCD, a severe form, which makes so much sense. Wow. And if you throw the numbers in there, like, oh man. And the dyslexia, you know what I'm saying? Oh, it's a fun concoction. But I'm not out of it. I just learned to live with it, which still sucks.
00:30:14
Speaker
All I can do is talk about it and keep going. That's the most important thing. A lot of people keep things to themselves or like subjects are supposed to be taboo. Or they're ashamed. I don't know. That's one thing that I really, I sometimes I'm too much for people, which A, I don't care, but B, like you have to. I totally agree. It's either, it's okay. I got it friends. Thank you. You tell me if you like me or good. Let's just be real. Like, come on, like,
00:30:43
Speaker
I am struggling, and I will be vocal about it because I am. And I need help sometimes. So if it's literally just asking my staff like, Hey, tell me three things you love about working here, or something to make me feel good in that moment that can be a band aid.
00:31:02
Speaker
Yeah. See, I, this is great. Cause like, I don't know. I love the fact that you're strong enough to be like, if you don't like it, leave, you know, you don't like it. Like that's the people don't want to realize in this, I guess, get me on my bandwagon of like people's thoughts today, like how weak society is about not accepting the fact that we all have problems. Like every single person has problems.
00:31:25
Speaker
Yeah, one like the data shows one out of four people have a mental health issue. So like 25%. Okay, so... And that's diagnosed. Yeah. Good point. Well, I mean, like, that's just one. I mean, I have like, I'm dyslexic and everything. Like, I have like, I got my IQ test. I went in for dyslexia, came out with three. And I was like, oh, thanks, man. You know?
00:31:50
Speaker
Yeah. So I totally get it. And like, that's what I love about this. And this whole story you guys are telling is the fact that like, there's a struggle and everybody always sees like the success, right? You always see this, everyone's like, Oh, come to the success reality versus like Instagram
Strong Partnership in Life and Business
00:32:05
Speaker
versus reality.
00:32:07
Speaker
Or the, I love the analogy of seeing the newly mother holding her pristine baby while they sleep on the bench. You're like while the baby sleeps and you hold them, but you don't see the 80 other percent that's like not that. Yeah. A hundred percent. And I, you know, I'm still healing from, you know, former, um, people, whether it's relation or friendship or work related,
00:32:32
Speaker
I, you know, we've been burned and we've opened up and unfortunately some people just can't handle
00:32:43
Speaker
how we do things or how blunt or vocal we are, but we just we don't have time to skate around and pretend everything's all because it's not. No, it may seem like it, but we work our ass off. And if you're going to disrespect us, then you're out. Like, I don't have time for that.
00:33:03
Speaker
Yeah. Right. Right. I think that's like, I think we're going to see, I want to make a prediction here in the future. The new big appreciation is going to be like, I know we call it blunt, but just being real, like just saying what you think. Cause right now, yeah. Like I appreciate it so much. If someone came up to me and told me like, Hey, Aaron, I don't like you. We don't mesh.
00:33:25
Speaker
Wow. Thanks man. Like now we don't have to waste our time of faking this, you know, like let's move on. So, but everyone's so worried about hurting everybody's feelings. I mean, I was, I was very close with some people out here and I mean, I love to meet people and you know, learn and make friends and all that good stuff. But you know, when people just up and ghost you and decide that you are, um,
00:33:52
Speaker
Nobody when you were extremely close to that person. Um Hello, like be real. What what's the issue? Let's work on it. Let's talk through this or not. That's fine. Yeah But like I want to like this like who so I love all this stuff and I get me off on a bandwagon here But like tie it back to the business I think this really shows why you guys are being so successful in your career path and the fact that like
00:34:18
Speaker
you are willing to take everything that's thrown at you, work with it, like overcome it and use it as an ability to like, you know, like here, Oh, I had a problem or not, not a problem. It's like I was given a problem to find a solution to, to make me stronger. Yeah. So like, and to bring up, um,
Cultural Inspirations and Work Ethic
00:34:39
Speaker
you know, being a parent or, you know, not even having a kid, we don't have,
00:34:43
Speaker
Like, we raise our child literally like 100% us in the daycare. Like, there's no fallback, you know, family members, unfortunately, that we can trust or fall back on. There's none of that. So Ari is either at home daycare or at the bagel shop.
00:35:05
Speaker
I love that. And she's, you know, she can hang. She, I mean, she will eat bagels all day long until she eats. Oh, there's been time when she's under the counter when it's really busy. People have no idea. Oh, that's awesome. You gotta do what you gotta do. I don't know. I really appreciate you guys just being honest and transparent because something that I will always say to everybody is that like this whole uncommon path, it might not be glorious, but
00:35:34
Speaker
you're gonna be you're gonna be glad you did it no matter what so this is my question to you and i've kind of prompted it so sorry about that led the witness as they say uh if you could flash back to the time where you're driving to pela from new york would you do it all again in a heartbeat absolutely and why is that why is that it's almost because it's like a child it's like your own child that you get to see grow and mature
00:36:01
Speaker
It just fits. It fits so well. And I have goose pumps even just saying that because we like, don't get me wrong, like migraine or, you know, not feeling well, exhausted, no matter what we're feeling, like going into work, it's fun and we make it fun. And I mean, there's days where we want to just stay in bed, but we can't. There's no option. So it's just, it's medicine for us.
00:36:28
Speaker
Yeah, I'm just so good. I'm so proud of us and that we're showing something that my family who is, you know, they actually traveled from Cambodia to escape the Khmeru. Wow. And my whole other podcast.
00:36:45
Speaker
My mom and dad came here in 1979. I was born in 86. And the only thing they knew how to do was work to get paid to provide. And that was their mentality. They couldn't teach me these other things. So I did have to learn the hard way, but I wanted them to be proud of me, not just my parents, but my whole family in general, because I would see them growing up
00:37:14
Speaker
Why is everyone working a nine to five job? And they're like, oh, this is what we know. This is what we're comfortable with. And I get it. There's some people who are like that. But I just knew that I didn't want to be like that. And I wanted to inspire my family or other people. So we both took the step to do what we love to do in hopes of having other families do the same. Well, I mean, to chime in, my father in New York
00:37:44
Speaker
He owned a jewelry store for 30 plus years. And I grew up in that environment. So seeing his struggles and now, you know, I'm in the same situation as far as running a business. He's probably our biggest cheerleader. Yeah, we've talked to him every day. Yeah, he's awesome. And he's taught us so much.
00:38:10
Speaker
Let's like, so there's another thing that I think is interesting and that's why I love to interview couples, but normally we get just one person and they're running a business and I always will ask this like, tell me how supportive or what your wife has had to sacrifice to get you to where you're at or your husband had to sacrifice to get you in your business where you're at. So tell me what it's meant just to do this unified shoulder to shoulder fighting off every bad guy together.
00:38:37
Speaker
I don't even know how to answer that because it's just so fluid and it's so easy for us because we work so well. Like decision making is a yes or no in black and white. Perfect. So then answer this the opposite way. If you didn't have Tony next to you, Tony, if you didn't have Sarah, where would you be now?
00:38:57
Speaker
I'd be like in a corner rocking back and forth. I'd be traveling. I'm just kidding.
00:39:08
Speaker
No, I mean, I say this all the time when I meet people who think that, how do you do it all, Tony? And I'm like, I have a wife who supports me and levels me out. And she does amazing things as far as behind the scenes go. She's a graphic designer by heart. She knows what looks good. And she knows what sells. She knows when to post social media.
00:39:36
Speaker
It's very important than what she does. I'm more hands-on, but we just work well together and I'm just thankful that we have something like this. So good. There's things that she does that I don't do and vice versa.
Continual Growth and Future Goals
00:39:50
Speaker
Exactly.
00:39:51
Speaker
Oh, so good. You guys compliment each other well and I can just hear your voices. But like I said, it's easy. No, I mean, we see a couple, uh, counselor make sure we communicate with each other. There's times when, you know, we're very high, strong, but we just have to learn how to deal and learn how to talk it. I know you guys are saying it's easy, but it's, it's one of those things like no relationship is like,
00:40:17
Speaker
It's a relationship. It has to be worked on. It has to be strengthened. I meant as far as like decision making, but yes, I agree. Yeah. I understand. Like I just want our listeners to understand and make it clear. Like, I mean, like, okay. So I know everybody here on the show, like, knows like I'm a meathead, but like, it's one of those things where like, I mean, a relationship is like a muscle. It has to be worked to get stronger. And like, you guys, like,
00:40:41
Speaker
your story and your vulnerability that you've shared, like you guys are like Arnold Soaks and the others must be so good. So we could go ahead, Sarah. Well, I mean, Tony's just I don't know how to explain. He's just so amazing. And I, I described Tony as being built on this planet. Like he is my person. And I'm just so thankful. Like we get to work together every day, all day, like saying,
00:41:11
Speaker
So good. So good. So, uh, we've been listening, we've been talking for 40 minutes. It doesn't, it feels like 10 minutes. Yeah. One story I got to share real quick. Yeah, please do. Cause we're talking about this and I got to tell people that like,
00:41:28
Speaker
If you're going to go, you got to get the empire. Oh, that's good. Hold it a monster at first. So I'm a big eater. I'm a big guy. I love you a lot. And I remember first scene and I read it and I was like, I want to. Yeah. And I remember getting handed the bag and I'm like, I was like, I got it. Like no big deal. And like the bag just like went down a little bit. I was like,
00:41:53
Speaker
Why is it like 12 pounds? Yeah, it was heavy. But like, little do you know, like, so much love came in that, like, my hand is dropping to grab that bag. And I was like, these are my people. Yeah. And the fact that I couldn't finish it, like, I could only one and a half of it. I was like, Oh, my gosh, that's impressive. Because some people can barely finish one. It's so good. So let last, like, closing thoughts for our listeners. You guys have been amazing.
00:42:20
Speaker
I love your story. I love your vulnerability. And I love your restaurant. So tell us closing thoughts just from you guys. What would you like to like to encourage our listeners with?
00:42:33
Speaker
I would say definitely, obviously, do what you love to do. But once you've accomplished that, there's always something better. And if it drives you to make yourself better, I would say go for it. Just for an example, we're opening this new restaurant. Does that mean we want to open multiple restaurants? No.
00:42:56
Speaker
We're going to a different route and our long-term goal is to actually franchise our restaurant and finally have control of our product. So we're making our own Bagels a factory out back in this new restaurant in Urbandale as well. That's awesome.
00:43:12
Speaker
Yeah, I would love to say I'm a big believer in just being happy. So if it's a hobby or something you picked up and you can do it because that's how I knew I was a graphic designer. I spent 18 hours straight on a project and I said, yep, this is my job.
00:43:32
Speaker
Oh, and also don't be scared to ask for help. There's so many people there who's so stubborn and thinking they can do it all and like, oh, graphic designer, I can do that on my own. But there's people out there who are experts at what they do and your product or whatever you do is only going to be better with the help of people who know what they're doing.
00:43:51
Speaker
That's good. This is so awesome, guys. I got to thank you so much for sharing everything. This is like once I mean, let's face it before I loved you guys, loved you guys in the restaurant. Now it's like there's just a whole new level of this, but like I hope the listeners really take away the fact that like here's two people that are being extremely successful, making an impact on the community and that life is real and there's struggles and you have to keep pushing through it. Only good things happen. So thank you for sharing this. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys.
00:44:21
Speaker
Yeah. So keep going. So this is what I think I would want my listeners or this is what I took away that at the end of the day, there will be challenges. There will be hard things. But the combination of all of it is a beautiful picture that you get to work in every day. And like you said, like you've never arrived. There's always things like I can do this better or I can do that better.
00:44:41
Speaker
And you guys are doing such a good job being unified in the whole thing. And I just wanted to say, just keep going. You are an inspiration. Tony and Sarah, thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you so much for being on the show. Yeah, it was so fun. It was fun. It was awesome. Thank you. Well, you've been listening to the Uncommon Life Project. I've been your host, Phillip Ramsey. And Aaron Kramer. Thanks for tuning in. Until next time, go be uncommon. Thanks for listening. Goodbye.
00:45:08
Speaker
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