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Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar
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Get out your culottes, ladies, we're going to Florida! Emma & Katie discuss the 2021 friendship-com Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar, which is basically what would happen if they were to go on vacation together.
It's a real tit flapper, do get ready for lengthy digressions about Teen Witch, Tommy Bahama vs Margaritaville, and multiple pleas to prove that you, the listeners, are real.
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Transcript
Podcast Rankings Celebration
00:00:00
Speaker
I don't know if you know this, but we are the number six rom-com podcast. We're the number six rom-com podcast? Yeah, and two of those above us are fiction podcasts. So technically, I think that makes us number four.
00:00:13
Speaker
What? When did that happen? I don't know. I was just like kind of noodling through it when I had some free time. We are also ranked number 173 in like arts podcasts. So top 250 is a big deal no matter what. Like that's really, doesn't sound like a lot, but that's really good. Yeah. That's that's a lot. I mean, i will continue to say, listeners, send us emails. Yeah.
00:00:41
Speaker
Yeah, prove that you're real. Like, maybe you're just being, like... Look at this little jimothy.
00:00:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:56
Speaker
That's Charlie walking in the frame, for those of you who don't have the benefit of video. yeah Which is everyone. No one has the benefit of video except for us. Exactly. And we choose what video. Oh, and now he's holding his ears telling me to be quiet.
00:01:09
Speaker
Like a man.
Live Episode Plans at Mystic Pizza
00:01:10
Speaker
Oh, dear. Oh, God. um Yeah, so from what I understand, like... That's incredible. Zencaster, which we use, is one of the the strictest in terms of, like, funneling out, like, bots and AI, like, learning models that are listening to podcasts to learn language and stuff. So there's always a possibility that it's all fake and there's only, like, five people listening to this podcast. But I don't think that's true.
00:01:40
Speaker
Yeah. But um we would really love to hear from you guys. Tell us your favorite quote. Prove that you're real. Prove that you're real.
00:01:53
Speaker
ah send us Send us letters um with that are constructed out of random letters cut from magazines. Don't that. Don't do that.
00:02:06
Speaker
An email will be fine at gogetyourgirlpod at gmail.com. Or comment on an Instagram video. Yeah. i've been I've been putting up some more. um i i did probably my favorite one the other day, ah which is me describing watching the Tonys while prepping for my colonoscopy.
00:02:24
Speaker
Oh, nice. Yeah. Classic. Classic. ah Relatable. Classic Get Your Girl rom-com podcast content. Yeah.
00:02:36
Speaker
Oh, my days. oh my day oh my i Oh, my days. Oh, my my days. days. Oh, my days.
00:02:46
Speaker
I should say. Charlie has texted me happy hump day. yeah Oh, I was going to say, I'm sure Charlie wanted to say to you a very happy hump day. Yeah. Listeners, tell us how annoying that is.
00:02:59
Speaker
Or tell us how much you love it. um we We want to hear from you. And let us know if you want us to come to your city. um Yeah. Not to record an episode or anything. Just to visit.
00:03:13
Speaker
Just to see the sights. Exactly. Just to take photos of Des Moines, Iowa. Exactly. We do still have to have katie come to Connecticut so that we can go to Mystic Pizza and do our live episode recording of Pretty Woman. Pretty Woman, yes, exactly.
Book Release and Alex Stern Series Discussion
00:03:30
Speaker
Yes.
00:03:30
Speaker
ah It's the only reason why we haven't done Pretty Woman yet is because it's going to be a very special episode um for the people of Mystic. Emma and by Katie are asked to leave Mystic Pizza four minutes in.
00:03:45
Speaker
four minutes in and boy I've been to mystic pizza and that is a hard thing to do to get kicked out yeah I mean like it's a very it's a very great pizza place I enjoy it um but it's like family friendly and it's constantly busy and it's constantly chaos so I imagine you'd have to be very chaotic to be asked to leave well they haven't met us yet yeah they have not met us Word. Oh my God. I'm so excited. i um, i went on a little spree of like,
00:04:20
Speaker
getting tickets to things like, you know, ah like things, things like going to see things and doing things. Yeah. Yeah. Events. Have you, have you read the book ninth house by Leah Bardugo? Oh my gosh. Okay. So, um, her, the conclusion of the trilogy, I was going to call it the triology.
00:04:46
Speaker
Uh-huh, yeah. We would know what you meant. the triology. Language is about communication. It is. The conclusion of the triology Alex Stern novels is coming out in September. And famously, the book series takes place at Yale in New Haven. And famously, Lea Bardugo went to Yale and was inspired by the Secret Societies there. If you haven't read Ninth House, it's it's so great. I'm really rereading it right now. It's so freaking great. I love it. And...
00:05:17
Speaker
and it so she's doing a book release at um one of the like in new haven and you can get a ticket and with that ticket gets a signed copy of the new book and i was like well hell yeah i'm gonna go for 40 bucks yeah i'm gonna go watch her talk about the book and get a signed copy of the third one yeah yeah cost 30 bucks on its own yeah Exactly. That's $10 for the ticket of yeah seeing her talk about one of my favorite book series. um I haven't read the second one. Now that the third one's coming out, I'll i'll read all three of them. Yeah.
00:05:54
Speaker
Yeah.
Charlie's Corner: 'The Decoy Bride' Review
00:05:55
Speaker
The second one's good. um The second one, it was not what I had expected, but it took some fun turns. Nice. Yeah. um ah Charlie is ah is currently ah attacking me via text. Oh, yes. ah I should have warned you. ah Charles has a lot of opinions about this week's film.
00:06:17
Speaker
Well, you know, that's why Charlie's not on the podcast. One of many reasons. One of many reasons. He doesn't have that sparkly personality.
00:06:31
Speaker
What does he say? He is talking about the decoy bride. He says, Charlie's Corner. do that Okay, you ready? Charlie's Corner. Charlie's Corner. Charlie's Corner.
00:06:42
Speaker
White governor? um So Charlie says, Charlie's Corner. You have the goal. The goal to sit in your ivory tower looking down on the decoy bride and then present something like that.
00:06:57
Speaker
And I said, yeah, but you see, this movie is funny. And he says, I don't know. Decoy Bride has national treasures. David Tennant is Sally Phillips. And I said, yes, in career worst roles.
00:07:09
Speaker
And he said, Nicolas Cage attempted to steal them instead as a decoration of independence.
00:07:20
Speaker
Oh, wow. he's He's real spicy today. That was Sir Michael Caine portraying the part of Charlie
Rediscovering Life in Vista Del Mar
00:07:26
Speaker
Blunt. Of Charlie Blunt. Of Charles Blunt. Charles Andrew Alexander Blunt. um Wait, he's cab?
00:07:34
Speaker
He's cab. Yeah, and i got him a I got him a satchel when we were first married, and you could opt to get it engraved with your initials, and so I got his initials in it, and it just looks like a really sad cab.
00:07:51
Speaker
That sounds like like the the logo of some drop-shipped Amazon rip-off company that's like a bunch of random syllables, a bunch of random consonants and vowels thrown together. yeah Right. Cab. Cab. I'm an emp. Anyway, so I am a kek.
00:08:12
Speaker
Kek. Kek. There you go.
00:08:17
Speaker
All very relevant to the, so two middle-aged women jabbering about nonsense. um famously featured on today's podcast. I mean, that's right, guys. You guessed it. um This one actually works perfectly. ah This is Go Get Your Girl. This is the podcast where Emma and Katie ah just, they lose their jobs at their dream job location in Nebraska, and they just, they need to give themselves a soul douche, as one might call it.
00:08:50
Speaker
So they go to Vista Del Mar, Florida, in the hopes of rediscovering their joie de vivre. And they discover a lot of things about themselves as well as meet a very, very handsome Irishman ah who has a very suspicious job. They drink a questionable, questionably legal alcoholic beverage that comes with free pills.
00:09:19
Speaker
And... Half a random three-way with said Irishman.
Exploring 'Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar'
00:09:24
Speaker
And along the way, we discover that he is working with So detailed.
00:09:30
Speaker
a Like a um Dr. Evil type who... Terrorist. Who's a terrorist. terrorists Who just wants to get rid of the city of Vista Del Mar due to childhood trauma. And then we have to save the day. As well as maybe one of us falls in love with said Irishman and the other one falls in love with life.
00:09:51
Speaker
I mean, this is pretty much what would happen if Emma and I went vacation. It's pretty Pretty Except I don't know if we're we're that big into culottes. probably Probably not the threesome.
00:10:02
Speaker
probably Probably not. Probably not. But I cannot confirm because we have not had a buried treasure. That's true. That's true. And it seems like that buried treasure. Today we are talking. Oh, I was going say, it seems like that buried treasure comes with some questionable pills.
00:10:21
Speaker
Yeah, it seems like that's got Molly at the bottom of it. That's what it seems like. um Yeah, so today we are talking about the um masterpiece ah Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar. From 20...
00:10:36
Speaker
from twenty um It's a very silly movie ah from 2021, directed by Josh Greenbaum, um who has directed a lot of TV.
00:10:50
Speaker
He directed the R-rated cursing dogs film, Strays, after this. Which I have not seen. And he has a big movie coming out, I think this week, called The Dink. Oh. Which is the um ah the Jake Johnson pickleball movie, which has got good reviews. I mean, I love Jake Johnson. We will see.
00:11:17
Speaker
We do love Jake Johnson in this house, yes. He was a writer on a New Girl. Or no, who was a director, I'm sorry, on New Girl. um That explains why this was a Wayne's, why it was produced by Damon Wayans. Yeah. And why Coach was in it.
00:11:33
Speaker
Yes, yes. Yes. um ah And written by ah the two stars, actors Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo. Annie Mumolo was in, but did not write, The Idea of You. Yeah! oh yeah, yeah. Which we on the show.
00:11:52
Speaker
And the two of them wrote Bridesmaids together famously. Yes. And this was their... This was their blank yeah check movie. Bridesmaids was such a hit that they got to make this insane movie off the back Which, boy, oh boy, were there some choices that were made in the script. I have some thoughts. This movie's so fun.
00:12:15
Speaker
um ah a completely a completely deranged movie. Like, I can't believe they got the money to make this silly nonsense. Absolutely insane. oh um the movie opens on a black screen with a definition of culottes being put on the screen.
Fashion Flashback: Culottes
00:12:31
Speaker
So like, here's the thing.
00:12:33
Speaker
Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig have been playing these characters since they were like in their 20s. At UCB. And now they're in their 50s, still playing the same character, who are now younger than they actually are. exactly. But they they wanted to give these characters, because they had such a history with them, they wanted to give them a nice story to like,
00:12:54
Speaker
you know, be a Hollywood movie. They wanted to give them a Hollywood movie because they could. um Because what else do you do with two random ass characters from a UCB sketch? You write them a Hollywood blockbuster. ah yeah i will say this is the first of Emma's fun facts, Emma's fun facts. um So it starts off with the definition of culottes because that was added in editing post-handspots.
00:13:21
Speaker
after test screening because they realized that at some test screenings that this generation doesn't really know what culottes are. So they had to explain it. That's true. That's true.
00:13:34
Speaker
Because, again, they were playing these characters in the 90s where they were going off of eighty s tropes. And they are that they are still eighty s tropes. Like, this movie is is in a weird timeline where these characters are straight out of the early ninety s at best um with their hair and the way that they dress and the things that they're interested in.
00:13:54
Speaker
um ah They don't have cell phones. They even say they phones. It's a weird, weird little pocket universe where people break into song randomly. Mm-hmm.
00:14:05
Speaker
That's the best. What a universe it then. But it's not a musical. They just It's not a musical. They have two yeah songs. You know, there's i should make a letterboxd list of movies that are not musicals but have two songs because there are there's multiples. There's definitely, yeah.
00:14:22
Speaker
Because one song is is yeah is fine. like one You can totally have a musical and just randomly have a song in it. Yeah. To have two songs is a very specific kind of thing. Like, youre you you were clearly almost a musical. Teen Witch? think Teen Witch might have three songs. What other songs are in there but beside ah besides Top That?
00:14:43
Speaker
um They have a whole song at the beginning of Teen Witch. Hold on, don't they? just know Top That. going to make sure I'm right about this. I swear. i know Teen Witch has more songs.
00:14:54
Speaker
Yes, there are. there I think there are three songs. There's... Never going to be the same again. There's an the opening sequence. And then there's Popular Girl. yeah, there's the Popular Girl song, the Locker Room song. Oh, I haven't seen Teen Witch in so long. Oh, my God, I should re-watch Teen Witch. Yeah, it's it's very bad. Apparently, in the producer-in-visioned DuBromne musical adaptation, three different versions of the production were worked on. There was a theme park version for Universal Oh, my God.
00:15:22
Speaker
A concert and then one with Broadway aspirations Teen Witch the musical was presented in a workshop in 2006 In 2007 they released a cast recording I feel like they could do it now feel like this the time Yeah apparently Ashley Tisdale was in talks to do a remake And then they have The Groundlings has done versions of the musical a couple of times I love that In 2013 and 2007 I love that so much Um, uh, it's a very strange movie, but yeah, the three, at least three songs in Teen Witch. And then they just stopped doing songs like halfway through. No more songs. We we can only do this many songs.
00:16:04
Speaker
Um, yes. So, um, this movie weirdly has two songs. Um, but before we get there, um, for those of you who don't know, culottes are something that moms wear. And by moms, I mean moms people our age. Yeah, so grandmothers?
00:16:23
Speaker
Great-grandmothers? I don't know where we are society. I don't think we're old enough to have grandkids yet, Emma. They're not great-grandmothers. Well, if you think about it, if you think about it, theoretically, if we had a 16-year-old when we were 16, then that 16-year-old
00:16:43
Speaker
could Like a Gilmore girl situation? We could be Gilmore grandmas? I don't want
00:16:52
Speaker
to be Gilmore. But we didn't have kids when we were 16 or any age. Neither of us have children.
00:17:00
Speaker
Right. So we can't be milks. We can't. um But... Culottes. Culottes are grandma wear. Culottes... cool lotss Culottes are wide cut pants.
00:17:15
Speaker
um ah That the idea I think is that when your legs are together, it could look like a skirt. That they, they are so wide. So it's like feminine pants.
00:17:31
Speaker
Yeah. Feminine pants. Or as Charlie would call them feminine trousers. Yeah.
00:17:39
Speaker
Yeah, they're for they're for older ladies. They're for ladies who don't want things to touch their skin. Yeah, they're like, it's like, you know, you want something nice and flowy because, you know, you're yeah hot, but you don't want to wear a skirt because you don't want anybody going up under there. So you wear culottes.
Nostalgia for Jennifer Convertibles
00:17:58
Speaker
They're also called chinos, right?
00:18:02
Speaker
Or are chinos different? I mean, chinos are like khakis. Chinos are like socks. Why think they were also called chinos? Maybe I'm confusing it with the store Chico's. You might be confusing with the store Chico's. which Chico's, which they get they they shout out. Talbot's, which they shout out, are the kind of stores that these women shop at. My mother works at Talbot's. If anybody wants to... That is...
00:18:26
Speaker
Not surprising. She loves it. It's great. It's a good time. ah And it was my grandmother's favorite store, and it's my mother's favorite store. And now she works at her dream job at Talbot's. Yeah.
00:18:38
Speaker
Just like Barb and Star. Barb and Star work at their dream job at their store, yeah Jennifer Convertibles. Jennifer Convertibles, which is a furniture store. Which is...
00:18:51
Speaker
One of those things, it's just just so specific. Like specificity is the soul of comedy. um It's like, it's so perfect because it's one of those things that like you forget about, but you know, the phrase Jennifer convertibles, but it's like, it's funnier than, you know, um I can't think of furniture store, Steenhoffels or whatever. It's funnier than that. It's more specific than that.
00:19:19
Speaker
um I've never heard of Jennifer Convertibles. I didn't know that it was a real store until just now. oh Well, it's not. um it's It went out of business several years ago, which is the joke. um they have like If you go to a regular furniture store, like they'll have like they still have Jennifer Convertibles, but they don't have Jennifer Convertibles stores anymore. But they definitely used to. um it was you would i mean, again, i've I've never been in a... I've just known from the Convertibles, right? From the ninety s Yeah. Very, very 90s. Gotcha.
00:19:52
Speaker
Jennifer Convertibles. It's just a funny, it's a funny phrase. Jennifer Convertibles. They specialized in like sleep, sleeper couches. I mean, that makes sense. Like stuff like that.
00:20:03
Speaker
Yeah. But we start on a young paper boy lip syncing to Barbra Streisand dueting with Barry Gibb and delivering the paper before going to a secret lab underneath a tree where he finds also Kristen Wiig. Yeah, but different Kristen Wiig.
00:20:27
Speaker
Yes. An albino Kristen Wiig. Made up an albino evil ah terrorist Kristen Wiig. who details a plan along with Jamie Dornan is there, who is some sort of spy. He's in love with her.
00:20:43
Speaker
And one of those guys who's in everything is playing a scientist. um I don't know his name, but one he's one of those UCB guys. And he's convinced himself that his work is is for the greater good. it's for It's for humanity to get rid of all the rabid animals out there and eliminate rabies. That's definitely what he's doing, right?
00:21:05
Speaker
That's definitely what it's for, right? It's not to kill a bunch of people. um He's designed killer mosquitoes that can be controlled with a microchip ah to take out um rabid animals. And I thought that they were going to kill this cow, but they don't. In fact, they turn it on him and he is murdered instead of the cow, which I appreciate it.
00:21:30
Speaker
um I would much rather a human be killed than a cow. Easier to watch.
00:21:37
Speaker
Easier watch. um Yes. So the evil plan is that they have these killer mosquitoes who can kill something in seconds and they control them with a microchip to target them. And this Kristen Dwig's name is um
00:21:59
Speaker
Sharon something fisherman? Sharon Gordon Fisherman. Didn't realize she had a name. Like the Gordon's Fisherman. yeah It's in the closed caption.
00:22:10
Speaker
So her name is Sharon and then her last name is Gordon Fisherman, like the Gordon's Fisherman, the the like fish stick brand, Gordon's Fish. um ah And ah the first she drinks a suicide ah um as a way to just show how evil she is. She has a fountain soda suicide that she makes.
00:22:33
Speaker
um And then we have Jamie Dornan, who wants to be an official couple with her, but she doesn't care about him. She's manipulating him emotionally, and he is going to... She just wants world domination. Well, not knowt world domination. She just wants to um destroy Vista Del Mar. And she she's in love with her aspirations and her quote-unquote career. She's a career girl. um She's not a relationship girly, but she's...
00:23:01
Speaker
Trying yeah to pretend to be a relationship girly to get Jamie Dorman to do her like dirty work.
00:23:10
Speaker
Yes, yes. um We don't quite know that yet. But first we're introduced to and Star. Barb and Star who live in Nebraska. Yeah.
00:23:20
Speaker
In Nebraska, work at Jennifer Convertibles. And most of the comedy in this movie comes from their just very precise characterizations of these two extremely bland ah Midwestern women. Yeah.
00:23:37
Speaker
Who like to talk and talk and yeah talk and talk about the most boring subjects you can imagine. But also they do that thing that I'm sure you and I probably have done and probably, or probably will do, which is they talk about a name that they really like, and then they create this whole persona for this person. And that reminded me.
00:23:56
Speaker
That reminded me lot of us for sure. yeah her Her entire life story up into her death as well. And so like, it's, if that, that bit's relatable for sure.
00:24:08
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Just trash. They lose their job at Jennifer Convertibles because Jennifer Convertibles went out of business yeah a long time ago and no one bothered to tell them Nebraska. where are they going host Thanksgiving? Um... Managers like, you host Thanksgiving in the store? They're like, no, no, no, no.
00:24:27
Speaker
Yeah. um ah yeah they too They weren't even Neither one of them were supposed to be working They were both there because they thought the other one Was was scheduled to work and they were just in there Sitting on their favorite couch talking Convincing customers not to buy it Because it's their talking couch um They get severance Which is nice And then they're like Oh this small town is full of places Looking to hire women their 40s Neither of them Have high school degrees Yep yep yep
00:24:59
Speaker
um So things are going to be fine for them. And then they see Wendy McClendon Covey, um you know, Reno 911, another UCB person who's in Bridesmaids as well, is their friend who just got back from Vista Del looks fabulous. Oh my God. Her hair is luscious. Her clothes, she's glowing because she's got this amazing tan. And boy, she's got so much to say about Vista Del Mar. She just wants to tell them all about Vista Del Mar. um And she's going to drop off a brochure.
00:25:34
Speaker
It is a, it's for older people. ah It's just strategically on the Gulf Coast of Florida.
00:25:43
Speaker
Yes, it is a middle-aged paradise. And she talks it up to them. But then Barb is real stick in the Barb is, you know, concerned. She's like, we can't do that. You know, I don't want to go to the ocean. Yeah, you could die. could die. And kind of talk Star out of it. She's afraid to live.
00:26:09
Speaker
She's afraid to live. So Barb is a widow. Her husband, ah Ron Quicksilver, um was a rodeo star who was trampled to death. ah Not in a rodeo, but at a Black yeah Friday. and she's still got the TV.
00:26:27
Speaker
Yes. um And Star was ah married to, I have his name in my notes, but I... Her ex-husband. We never really meet him, which I thought was actually surprising. I thought at some point we might meet him.
00:26:42
Speaker
Yeah, we don't meet... Ray? Was his name Ray? um he he yeah Something like that. He cheated on her. No, his name was like Sergio or something. um Carmine. car Carmine. carine Because that's fun to say with a Nebraska accent.
00:27:00
Speaker
yeah Carmine cheated on her and broke her heart and now she's convinced that she's um disgusting and unlovable. She's like so extreme. Yeah. Oh, Barb. Yeah. um So they both need a soul douche, which is what Wendy McClendon Covey promises them will happen at Vista Del Mar. soul douche.
00:27:18
Speaker
And then they go to talking club with a bunch of other Midwestern women where they've made hot dog soup again. it looks so gross. Jesus. It looks so gross. We've got Vanessa Bayer, Fortune Feimster, Phyllis Smith, and Rose Abdu, all comedy legends classic comedy ladies um ah in their talking club, which Vanessa Bayer runs with an iron fist. You cannot be late. If it is six o'clock on the dot, she goes, well, it's six o'clock on the dot. Time to lock the door.
00:27:52
Speaker
yes Gail's outside like one second late. She's like, go home, Gail. You missed it. Phyllis Smith wants to talk about horses and so she takes her hot dog soup away from her because that's not the topic of Talking Club this week.
00:28:09
Speaker
um' Very, very well observed. Just extremely boring people talking about the most boring things in the world. Yeah.
00:28:19
Speaker
The um Fortune 500 is like, well, my job at the Christmas store is going so well. I'm like, oh, my God, not Christmas store. You would think that people think ask me all the time, is it busy this time of year? And the thing is, is that we're busy all the time. We're busy all year long.
00:28:37
Speaker
i mean, I've been to a Christmas store in the summer, yeah and they are. People love a Christmas store. Yeah, Pigeon Forge, Tennessee has like a complex of like eight Christmas stores all together. It's insane. It's where we would we would go and get all our decorations the year. you Oh.
00:28:56
Speaker
Goodness. um charlie I will say, at at this point, Charlie is starting to get confused. he' He's like, so... That's not surprising. Are sisters? Are they friends? Are they a couple? Like, what are they to each other? And i was just like, I think they're just friends. And, yeah. They're friends.
00:29:17
Speaker
So you had seen this movie before. I it shortly after it came out. I watched it. And it was one of those movies that you half-watched. And so I never sat down and focused on it. Because it's not really a movie that you are meant to sit and take notes at.
00:29:38
Speaker
No. Not really. i don't know if any of the movies we watch on this podcast are movies that are made for taking notes. True. I... i The first time we watched this when it first came out, we were definitely on edibles first time we watched it, which I must say enhances the experience. Yeah, I didn't. I questioned it. I was like, should I take an edible before watching this? And I was like, nah, I'm going to watch this with a clear head. We're going to see where we go. And then like three quarters the way through, I was just like, well, now it's too late. I should have taken an edible.
00:30:08
Speaker
Yeah. um ah This is is definitely a movie for that. I did not watch it high this time, however. um yes so this is when um ah they get kicked out of love talking club for lying about losing say they got promoted instead of getting fired they're very bad at lying um they're just good honest uh salts of the earth midwestern folk and uh when they try to lie they they go too far so they are yeah they they lose all their friends um ah
00:30:40
Speaker
And they they sleep together in separate beds in the same bedroom. Yep, lucy and lu Lucy and Ricky from I Love Lucy. Uh-huh.
00:30:53
Speaker
Yes, um except they're not a couple. um ah And... This is when Star convinces Barb that they need to go to Vista Del Mar. um They have money from their severance and they need to, they need to live a little. um so she overcomes Barb's fears And they fly to um Tampa, basically, um ah which is where this movie is set. Although I believe it was shot in Mexico. It was shot in Puerto Vallarta and ah Mexico and Albuquerque, New Mexico. new mexico um It was, I think, also partially in Arizona. It was originally supposed to be shot in Florida and in Georgia, but um they something was happening with, like,
00:31:40
Speaker
legislation oh that was it Georgia was being super transphobic homophobic they were doing something and Hollywood is boycotting them for that yeah so they chose not to do in Georgia yeah this movie was shot in 2019 and was supposed to be released in April of 2020 and for some reason I can't remember why um that didn't work out I'm gonna have to like google what happened in 2020 because I don't remember yeah Yeah, it's it's hard to remember. It's so long ago now. um So we got pushed to streaming in 2021. It was supposed to be released theatrically, of course, but like many movies that were supposed to come out in 2020, it got pushed to streaming. And so we'll never know how successful this movie could have been. We will never know. i guess is not very. We never know.
00:32:26
Speaker
I mean- I can't- Just can't imagine this movie being a hit. It has pretty solid Rotten Tomatoes review, Rotten Tomatoes score, and just overall star score. Yeah, because it's good.
00:32:40
Speaker
i mean, it's not the world's best film. is it It's fun. I mean, it's not Bridesmaids, but it's fun. It's fun and dumb. I mean, listen to the thing. It is a mid-budget film.
00:32:51
Speaker
comedy movie of the kind that they just don't make anymore so i will take all the ones that you can give and i'm and in 2021 it is the type of film that we as a society needed yes very much so yes um ah so this is when we find out that jimmy dornan is being sent to vista del mar um ah one of my favorite bits in the movie happens where um she is says something evil and we get the great the dun dun dun sting and then she goes Oh, the strings are a bit off. And we show a tiny little orchestra all played by mice.
00:33:28
Speaker
And she tells the string section that they don't get cheese because they're still a little late. And the mice are like arguing amongst each other like, oh man, I want cheese. the mice were supposed to be more featured in the film. In the original script, there is more of the mice, I will say. um They cut out... really? Yeah, cut out... um a lot of it um because I think it's like the the, not the network, the studio and then like test screenings were like, there's too much mice.
00:33:57
Speaker
I don't know. I wanted more mice. um I did buy this on Apple ah because to rent it was $3.99 and to buy it $4.99. So I do have a complete audio commentary from Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo and deleted scenes. So I may watch those at some we chose to rent it.
00:34:18
Speaker
No kidding. Um...
00:34:22
Speaker
ah This is when they have the whole riff about a woman named Trish um on the plane. She's so carefree. the entire The entire plane ride, they invent this character of a woman named Trish. um She goes, Kristen Wiig goes, remember that hit and run and that lady passed? Her name was Trish. That hit and run I was in Kristen Wiig killed somebody.
00:34:49
Speaker
There's a lot of those of just sort of like throwaway lines that are just sort of like so insane. um That's very much that 2010s brand of comedy of like you're just riffing and then you throw out something insane and you don't react like it's insane and you just keep going.
00:35:08
Speaker
It's almost like you're just trying to get your scene partner to break. Yeah. That's definitely part of it. Yeah.
00:35:17
Speaker
the ah They get off the plane. Oh, it smells like red lobster. At beautiful Vista Del Mar. Yeah. Oh, and it should be said, because it does come up later, um they complete the story of Trish. And it ends with Trish makes the very difficult decision to beat skin cancer. Not let skin cancer beat her. She's going to beat skin cancer by committing suicide by throwing herself off a cliff into the ocean and hitting all the rocks on the way down. So true. So you need to know that yeah fictional person, Trish, is dead.
00:35:55
Speaker
Yes, yes. And she hit she fell off a cliff and hit all the rocks on the way down. when They get to the beautiful Vista Del Mar Hotel um and are greeted by a musical number, which we assume that the staff must do for everyone who comes into the lobby.
00:36:09
Speaker
Which you it just seems exhausting. Yeah, it does. I mean, like, it's it's good work if you can get it. I mean, I'm guessing they're getting, like, equity scale. don't know. I mean, it's Florida. Yeah.
00:36:24
Speaker
It's a middle-aged paradise. That's the gist of the song. everyone's in Tommy Bahama. It's all 40s and ups. Everyone's in Tommy Bahama. Tommy Bahama. Now, if you don't know what you don't know what Tommy Bahama is, I think it's a Coles exclusive now. It didn't used to be. it was. i I don't know. I just made that up. so um It seems like it should be a Coles exclusive. sin i have I have a relationship with Tommy Bahama.
00:36:49
Speaker
Oh, my God. um In Houston, ah when I was in high school and in college, there was, so I lived
Cultural Exploration: Tommy Bahama and Margaritaville
00:36:58
Speaker
in the northern suburbs of Houston and ah the net, like a few suburbs up was a place called the Woodlands, which was very ritzy. And they had the Woodlands Mall, which was the mall that I went to. And um it was this gorgeous like outdoor mall thing with like a cheesecake factory and a P.F. Chang's and you know, all the like luxurious places. They also had it. Like Old Orchard. Like Old Orchard. Exactly. It's exactly like order of Old Orchard. um But giant. And in Texas. And um they had a Tommy Bahama. And I remember ah it was my goal.
00:37:35
Speaker
I wanted to work at Tommy Bahama because I met someone. Because it was a restaurant as well as a clothing store. And there was a restaurant at Tommy Bahama. There was a restaurant at Tommy Bahama. Kind of like how, um, in, in Chicago, there's the Ralph Lauren polo restaurant. Um, Tommy Bahama had their own restaurant. did not no I did not know Ralph Lauren had a restaurant. i Oh yeah. That's crazy. Ralph Lauren has a restaurant and there's one in Chicago and there's one in New York and, um, Tommy Bahama had a restaurant yeah and,
00:38:11
Speaker
the marlin The Marlin Bar yeah is the Tommy Bahama restaurant. Oh my God. I wanted to work there so I'm on their website right now. is it There's a Mai Is it still a around? There's some some food. Yeah, it's still around. You can join the Island Club. Yeah.
00:38:32
Speaker
Yeah, 100,000 Mai Tais poured annually, 30 locations, and 50-plus menu favorites. Wow. But I had that worked there. mean, it doesn't look bad. Yeah. I met someone that worked there and like the outfits, because they had to wear like Tommy Bahama dresses and you, because it was like an upscaled cheesecake factory, you made like bank. And so I wanted to work there so bad.
00:38:56
Speaker
i didn't know they made women's clothes, um but they definitely they do. do. Yeah. I mean, women don't choose to wear them of their own volition. No, no, no. It's was something where your older husband is like bought you something. he went from Yeah, he went to Tommy Bahama for himself and he went, oh, my wife will like that.
00:39:15
Speaker
Yeah. we So we've got Scottsdale, Arizona. yep um Several locations in um in southern Los Angeles. Yeah. Several. Most locations are in Florida. Yep. That makes sense. That makes sense. Looks about 10 locations in Florida, several in Hawaii. There's one in New York. What? There's one in the Woodlands, Texas. Yeah, baby. There's one in Woodlands. The Woodlands is still there. yeah.
00:39:42
Speaker
Let me see. um Tommy Bahama Miramonte Resort. Oh, my God. Which looks like they have their own island in the Bahamas. What? um There's a couple more. There's one in Charlotte. Wait, are you telling me? And there's... The Tommy Bahama. There's one in Chicago. Oh, rude. are you Well, you come to come to Connecticut. We'll make a trip to New York. We'll go to the Tommy Bahama restaurant. ah No, we will not. um Are you telling me that... 45th and 5th. Holy shit. Jesus Christ, that's like prime real estate. Wow.
00:40:15
Speaker
So are you telling me that, um ah oh my God, Cheeseburger in Paradise. Oh my God. oh Jimmy buie Buffett. Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. Uh-huh.
00:40:28
Speaker
Is a franchise, but it didn't get as big as the Tommy Bahama restaurant to get its own Margaritaville Island? Why is there Tommy... don't know if Margaritaville does have its own island. I feel like there should be. If Tommy Bahama has an island, Margaritaville should obviously have an island.
00:40:47
Speaker
Margaritaville definitely has an island. Margaritaville... Oh, no, no Island Resort Riviera Maya. It's in Mexico. um Yeah. It does not look like they have Margaritaville hotels and resorts. they don't have their own island. Which seems very strange because i'd like to have a cheeseburger paradise. Oh my gosh.
00:41:14
Speaker
Boys. Rowdy boys. No children are allowed at Margarita Island Reserve. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. yeah Oh my God. The boys are so rowdy. there's Oh, okay. I thought you were talking about how rowdy the boys wear margaritaville.
00:41:35
Speaker
No, I'm talking about your boys. Yeah, they're they're they're um on the staircase and Thomas likes to lounge on the stair and he doesn't want Roland to go up past his stair that he has claimed is his. And so... Goodness gracious. Roland wants to go upstairs, but he's being bullied by the other cat to not go upstairs. That's what's happening. Mm-hmm.
00:41:57
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Um, ah let's see. There's, hold Margaritaville at sea cruise. There's a cruise. Yeah. that's yeah Yeah. imagine that's great for. They have, they have some, they have several hotels and resorts.
00:42:13
Speaker
Um, Lake Tahoe, Kansas city. What? Well, famously landlocked Kansas city. They have to bring paradise to a place that doesn't have paradise.
00:42:26
Speaker
Nashville, Tennessee. New York City, yeah of course. yeah um Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Wait, wait, wait. Orlando, Texas. Where? Pigeon Forge. Where there's one in New York? There's one in Gatlinburg and in Pigeon Forge.
00:42:41
Speaker
That is a very specific. umma Margaritaville. Well, I mean, they are available to book. It's in Times Square. Oh, sometimes oh yeah, of course. I was going to say, so theoretically, we could do.
00:42:55
Speaker
They have two in Pigeon Forge and one in Gatlinburg. What the fuck? we can What the fuck is happening? we could do, you come visit me. We go to New York. We can do appetizers at the Tommy Bahama restaurant. We can do mains at Margaritaville. And then dessert, i don't know, bubblegum shrimp? What else is there? Or we could go so we could go somewhere nice. I mean, that sounds like the lap of luxury right there.
00:43:20
Speaker
Oh my God. Yeah. So Panama, Honduras, Cancun, and Tampa. So no, Margaritaville does not have their own island, but Tommy Bahama does. And I didn't even know Tommy Bahama had a restaurant. Right, there you go. Tommy Bahama is, it's like, it's old men wear, yeah really, is what it is. It's those big, like, shirts with, you know, with tro tropical trees on them, palm trees. I was like, tropical trees, what do you call those? Hawaiian shirts is what you're looking for there. Yes.
00:43:52
Speaker
Hawaiian shirts and golf shirts, bowling shirts, like any kind that's like breezy and like button up and for older men. you remember your rich friend in high school? Her dad who was really into golf and whiskey. This is sort of stuff he'd wear on a Sunday.
00:44:12
Speaker
Yes. um ah And it is, it's took it's kind of expensive. yeah um It is, it's not like, it's not like designer expensive, but in terms of like name brand that has like a store in the mall, yeah it's, it's kind of upscale. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:27
Speaker
Yeah, it's like one step above, no offense, dad, ah Jimmy Buffett and Margarita Bell. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be, it's a little bit above that, yeah. um it's ah It's at the Good Mall, Tommy Bahama. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's at the Fancy Mall.
00:44:43
Speaker
Yeah, my dad definitely had like a couple Tommy Bahama shirts. There's no way he didn't. Yeah. um But so that's a good 10 minutes on Tommy Bahama. Yeah. As the people need to know. i mean, we have to educate them on both Kulats and Tommy Bahama for them to understand the cultural impact of this film.
00:45:03
Speaker
Yes. Yes. um Yeah. So it turns out they're at the wrong hotel. yeah um They're supposed to be at the Vista Del Mar Motel, which is a shithole.
00:45:14
Speaker
um Which I felt. But they sneak their way. They sneak their way back onto the hotel. But here's my whole thing about this. This whole little blurb about the motel hotel holiday inn. It's that I felt like this section could have gotten cut and they could have filled it with more mice content because it's such a blip. They go back to the hotel and then they get caught by the nature D or concierge or whatever. And he's he's like, hey, a room opened up. A family disappeared. um and
00:45:44
Speaker
It was the husband. It's always always the husband. And so, like, I get it that they did that for that joke, but, like, it was it's such, like, ah a waste of of screen time, I felt. I felt like it was, like, a chunk of... a waste of screen time.
00:45:59
Speaker
Yeah, it's not necessary. It is, um... Yeah, it's, it was probably something funnier that they could have left in the movie if they had cut that out. Exactly. You know, my guess is they went, they they went to the location, they felt like it was stuff that was, you know, burned, they might as well put it in the movie. Yeah.
00:46:15
Speaker
Um, And who knows, maybe there were more scenes there originally. in the There's, you know, like 20 minutes of deleted scenes on this Apple thing that I get to watch. I should have watched them before we did this movie. Yeah. I mean, before we did this ah episode. But I didn't.
00:46:32
Speaker
We're not a research podcast. We're not a research podcast. This hotel is booked solid because of the seafood jam, yeah which is coming up. She says, um this this reminded me of of me a little bit. She's like, men are not attracted to me. It's okay. I'm above it. And her friend goes, oh, you could model for Chico's. Yeah. Or Kirkland's. Yeah.
00:46:53
Speaker
Or Kirkland's. Kirkland brand for Costco. for koco For Costco. For Costco. i don't i I can't do Nebraska. I feel like I am just defaulting to Minnesota every time. It it all sounds the same to me. And until I'm in a play like where I have a dialect coach who corrects me on Nebraska versus Minnesotan dialect, it will always sound the same. And then once I'm in that play, I will be a nerd about it. And I will tell everyone, well, actually... In Nebraska, they say this like this. And in Minnesota, they say this like this. And that's wrong.
00:47:31
Speaker
One of the famous many many famous plays with nebras about Nebraska that you will definitely be in. Exactly. um A friend of the show, Madison Smith, that is it yes from Nebraska. yes yeah So maybe she could give us some pointers. Yeah, yeah. She can give us some pointers. um She is so from Nebraska that she went to um gun camp somewhere.
00:47:53
Speaker
Jesus Christ. I think it was hunting camp. It was hunting camp as a child. She went to hunting camp. um That's insane. And it was, oh my God, she told me who it was run by. It was some, oh, I forget the name. is some rock star who you're just like, oh yeah, that makes sense.
00:48:09
Speaker
Ted Nugent? Ted Nugent, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think she's told me that story, actually, now that I think about it. Yeah. So if we're ever in zombie... Past and future guest, Madison Smith. Exactly. And that is why I maintain that, like, if we're ever in a zombie apocalypse, I want to be where Madison Smith is.
00:48:25
Speaker
Because she knows how to shoot a gun Because she knows how to shoot a gun. And she was taught by Ted Nugent.
00:48:31
Speaker
Himself? I don't know, actually. i think it was just his camp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They, at the restaurant, they have veal stuffed manatee and fried bald eagle babies. Oh my God. she Just classic Florida jokes. Right.
00:48:46
Speaker
Because, like, she's they she starts out saying, oh, I'm going to have, I forget what she originally says that she's going to sit, what she's going to have. And then Barb says something about the animal that's like, oh, they're really smart or they're really intelligent or they, like, they feel it. They feel the death. And so she's like, oh, oh, I guess I won't do that. That's sad. um I'll just do the veal stuffed manatee. Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:11
Speaker
Um, they, uh, they put on their evening culottes to go to the bar, um, where, uh, Richard Cheese, um, the lounge singer who does covers of hip hop songs yeah in the, uh, or not hip hop songs, but like, like violent, um, rock songs yeah in the, um, in the early two thousand s is there. singing a song called I Love Boobies, which he reprises later. Oh, he reprises it many times. And then he has one sad song, but it's a little bit of a downer. It's all my my friends from high school are dying. um
00:49:46
Speaker
And they sit next to Jamie Dornan, who is there ah to to carry out ah Sharon Gordon Fisherman's ah nefarious plan. Yeah, and it should be said the microchip was given to him um and has a special little compartment for storage ah in his belt. So that should be said because that's useful knowledge later. and But continue, he's sad. Yes.
00:50:11
Speaker
He's sad because she doesn't love him. um He's reading a self-help book ah called um something like, ah when people are in love with you, but they act like they're not, but they really love you or something like that. um And he just wants to be an official couple. He's obsessed with being an official couple. And so he's drowning his sorrows in the bar and Barman Star sit next to him.
00:50:36
Speaker
And they decide to to have this giant cocktail called the a three-person cocktail called the Buried Treasure, which is the size of a globe, yeah um ah pretty much. um And there's a buried treasure at the bottom of it. And the bartender's like, no one's ever finished it. yep And then seconds later, they finish it. And he's like, oh, holy shit, you finished it?
00:50:57
Speaker
She's like, they're like, yeah. It's like, you found the buried treasure? Did find the... but like There were three pills at the bottom of it and I took one and he took one and she took one. And he goes, oh, well, have a good time. Yep.
00:51:11
Speaker
And then they start to float away. Yeah. To a dance. It goes straight from Cheeseburger in Paradise to a a club version of My Heart Will Go On. which is such a banger.
00:51:25
Speaker
Uh-huh. And they're dancing in the club and then they wake up and they have had a threesome together. Yep. They have had a threesome together, but they all have their underwear still on. Yeah. Well. Yeah.
00:51:36
Speaker
who knows Who knows? Who knows what happened? This movie is this is a PG-13. But they essentially rode each other like horses. Yes, yes. Rode you up and down the hallway like a horse. yeah um Yes. ah they um And they seem fine with that. My guess is it's not Barb and Star's first threesome. Yeah, I'm going to guess that too.
Navigating Awkward Post-Indulgence Moments
00:52:00
Speaker
I mean, we just we don't really know. Because they they don't seem like there's no like weirdness. No, like after like we were were're best friends and we just had sex sort of situation. It's just sort of, you know...
00:52:13
Speaker
normal back to business. Cool ups. Yeah. This happened. to This happened again. Um, while Jamie Dornan was drunk slash high, he called Sharon and told him, told her that the mission is off. Um, and that he's met some ladies, yeah um, and he doesn't need her anymore.
00:52:33
Speaker
Um, But the next morning, she calls him back and tells him that she loves him and that, you know, don't say anything silly like the mission is off. You know, you have to do this mission, but I love you and we'll be together once the mission is over. Exactly. So he's back on brand. um But he lost the microchip when had sex together.
00:52:56
Speaker
And we never see it again. we never we don't find out what happened to the microchip. We never find out what happens to the microchip. They're just like, oh, we'll just get you a new microchip. But i feel like yeah i feel like that was another sort of like lost opportunity of like him trying to get the microchip back. um Or like yeah show it. It's a plot hole. Yeah, you should show it like being like tossed into the ocean or something.
00:53:18
Speaker
Like all we know is on the floor. surprised Morgan Freeman didn't have it. Yeah. Yeah. ah Um, ah then he has ah his own musical number where he's tortured by his feelings. Like he he wants this woman to love him and he kind of knows that she doesn't, but he... So he sings this power power ballad um and big dance number on the beach. Oh, yeah. he's He's got a good voice. He's got a good voice. It's his I'm just Ken number. um And this is another one of Emma's fun facts. Emma's fun facts. um He rips his shirt at the end. So this is Jamie Dornan actually singing. That's his actual singing voice, which is beautiful. um And he rips the his shirt at the end, which was not scripted. That was not a tearaway shirt. He just... as the actor felt that it was necessary.
00:54:09
Speaker
Hell yeah, man. Great job. Great job. Great job, Jamie Dornan. Extremely hot yeah Jamie Dornan. I love him so much. um they Yeah. He keeps singing to the seagulls. That's who he's talking to in the musical number.
00:54:26
Speaker
um ah So he's tortured. um And then Barb and Star each claim to the other that they want a quiet night in um the star says she's going to practice her calligraphy and write a and uh and do some writing in her journal or whatever and barb claims that she is going to take a bath and but each of them are sneaking off to find edgar yes jamie dorian and they they each have a one-on-one date with him uh a la the bachelor ah identical date identical date where they go, they tell him their life story over ice cream, and then they go on a little paddle boat where they talk to him about how he opened up their lives and sort of like took them out of their shells. And then they go for a long walk on the beach, and while they're doing that, they think of a funny story about Barb or about the star, and then they all of a sudden feel immense guilt that they have lied to the other one and are out on this one-on-one date. Um, the exact same way. And he doesn't like blink an eye at it or like be like, we've done this all before. He's just like, okay. The same extras are in the background doing the same thing, uh, in both versions. Uh, so Barb says she can't do it to star and she leaves him and star is like, I can't do this to Barb. So we'll have to have sex quickly. want you to do me up against those hard wooden stairs. yes Um,
00:55:55
Speaker
Oh, yeah. um ah stars ah Star's cheating husband was named Carmine Testaviglio. Jesus Christ. Who was having an affair with Dina. of So, oh, yeah, when she's writing, she's writing a letter to him and she says, I'm the disgusting woman that she met last night. But I don't feel that disgusting anymore. You've made me feel not disgusting.
00:56:18
Speaker
Or at least not as disgusting. You saw my holes. You saw my holes and folds and you didn't run away. Yeah. Oh, God. um Someone is taking photos of them during these dates. And um this is when she, and after they have sex, she says, you can't make someone love you. when she's talking about her husband. But that connects with him because he knows that Sharon Gordon Fisherman doesn't love him. Yeah.
00:56:45
Speaker
And of course, and she's like, hey, this is great meaningless sex. I'll see you later. Yeah. And then they lie to each other. She comes home and back to their room and they both lie ah to the other about where that what they were doing and they both both their lies involve turtles. Yeah.
00:57:01
Speaker
um I went to a turtle's house. Yep.
00:57:07
Speaker
And then we get Sharon Gordon Fisherman's backstory where she's explaining to Yo-Yo. child that has stolen. Who's the paper boy child. That she has stolen. um About why she wants revenge on Vista Del Mar. She grew up allergic to the sun and her family moved to Vista Del Mar in Florida. Which seems like a terrible choice. Terrible choice.
00:57:30
Speaker
She made one friend, Maria Margolis, who was eaten by an alligator. um And then she went to the seafood jam. And at the seafood jam, some cruel children pulled her up on the stage, like carrying the emc as to as i'll carry confusing the MC as to who the shrimp queen was.
00:57:48
Speaker
The shrimp queen gets loaded into a human cannon, but the cruel children turned the knob of the human canyon from shwimp shrimp queen all the way to instant death. Yep.
00:58:00
Speaker
She was fired, rocketed into the ocean, and because the force of the air, the the rocket was so strong, all of her clothes were ripped off, and she landed naked in a pool on a Disney cruise ship. And then she was humiliated because she was naked on a Disney cruise.
00:58:16
Speaker
Her father died of a heart attack, and her mom abandoned her, and she wants revenge on the town of Vista Del Mar and the Seafood Jam. Yeah, because it's their fault. Yeah. Which is, you know, just classic, everyday, run-of-the-mill story. Happens every day. That's, you know, coming of age. Everyone goes through that.
00:58:35
Speaker
Yeah. um So um Edgar ah finds the other the another spy who's played by Damon Wayans Jr. um whose face is always obscured in the movie. Yep. And it took me a minute and then I heard his voice and I was like, holy shit, that's Coach.
00:58:51
Speaker
Yeah. We love Damon Wayans Jr. in house. Love him. he's playing Darley Bunker, who is a spy who is constantly giving out too much personal information about himself. he's not a good spy. And, uh, they, um, so he's giving, he's going to get him another microchip. Um,
00:59:12
Speaker
Barb is if we're still afraid to go into the ocean. um And now Star is like spending all of her time with Edgar having sex and doing official couple of things and pretending that she's sick. And Barb starts to do things on her own. And this is actually like,
00:59:30
Speaker
that they they the The middle part of this movie, you think that they're going to like start fighting over this man, but that's really not what happens. What happens is that Star, who was abandoned by her husband and doesn't feel loved, finds love. And Barb, who had love and her husband died, like finds to learns to love herself outside of a relationship, which is really sweet. Yeah, yeah.
00:59:53
Speaker
um They are still lying to each other, but Barb is doing all of these activities on her own. She's like, she's surfing. yeah She's parasailing. Scuba diving. And she's like snorkeling.
01:00:06
Speaker
Snorkeling. Yeah. She's good at everything. yeah um And then she meets Andy Garcia. Tommy Bahama. who's top playing the character of Tommy Bahama, um ah who tells her that she's being delivered. She needs to ride the wind like a fierce hippopotamus. Yeah. Your shimmer is on the horizon. And earlier in the film, they both sought thought discovered together that they've lost their shimmer yeah somehow. And they need to go and get it. Much like Stella found her groove yes by having sex with a but extremely young Taye Diggs.
01:00:39
Speaker
um They find their shimmer by having sex with a young Jamie Dornay. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Who's like 10 years younger than them. Yeah, I was going to say. Not as young as Taye Diggs. Yeah.
01:00:50
Speaker
In how Stella got groove back, yeah. um One of my favorite lines in the movie is when she tells him, I think your dong went all the way up and touched my heart. Your dong went so far inside of me that it it touched it touched my heart.
01:01:06
Speaker
It touched my heart. Um... Should we be official? And he's so torn. Yeah. Because he's been lying to her too because he's told her that he's a clam inspector who works for a company called Clamco. Yeah.
01:01:20
Speaker
But he's not. He's there on an evil mission to to kill the people Vistadalmar. He's murder everybody. Yeah, with killer mosquitoes. Yeah. Um, ah this is when she meets Morgan Freeman. Uh, who is a crab, which is not Morgan Freeman. Unfortunately, it is a Morgan Freeman impersonator is doing the voice. Very good. Um, who is an excellent Morgan f Freeman impression. Uh, this crab who's telling her that, you know, you know, you should tell Barb the truth because, you know, she'll probably forgive you or maybe not. I've had a long life and he starts going to this long monologue and where he's talking about all Morgan Freeman movies. Um,
01:01:59
Speaker
Like, I drove this old lady around and taught her me about racism. I escaped from prison. Yeah. um And then he goes off into the sea. Yeah. um Barb is going to go on the banana boat, but she promised, that was something she and Star were going to do together. So she's not going to go on the banana boat without Barb. Although she is warned that the banana boat is a real tit flapper. It's a real tit flapper. Which...
01:02:21
Speaker
I think our podcast is a real tit flapper also. mean, I like to say that. We should start promoting it that way. We're a real tit flapper. I mean, that's how that's what we'll use to, like, you know, describe this episode. It's a real tit flapper. It's a real tit flapper. We should put that on the Instagram. yeah um Yeah.
01:02:40
Speaker
She sees Star and Edgar on the balcony. um Straight fucking. Yeah. um Straight up fucking. And... Yeah, she goes, but then, ah so she goes, she spies, after Star leaves, she spies on him using the classic glass on the door trick. Yeah. And overhears him ah yelling at Sharon on the phone saying that he's not going to to do the murder. yeah But she lies to him and tells him that Barb and Star are spies for the organization HPV. Yeah.
01:03:12
Speaker
And that they are using him as well. And no one loves him. Yep. um And he has to follow through on his mission. Yeah. Oh, and it should be said that Barb and Star earlier um and on their first day... in Vista Del Mar, they did a little shopping and they got themselves some friendship bracelets that are all shells. And they did, they've purchased so much shell paraphernalia a la Florida um and so many like necklaces. And so, um,
01:03:44
Speaker
Barb gets caught eavesdropping on Jamie Dornan because a couple of other tourists are complimenting Barb's necklace and asking where she got it And so she's trying to whisper speak to them. They're like, I don't understand what you're saying. And so then she yells at them and Jamie Dornan discovers her.
01:04:02
Speaker
Yes. He follows her back to their room where she confronts Star and tells her she knows what's going on and that he's going to murder everyone. And then Jamie Dornan shows up and ties them up. Yeah.
01:04:14
Speaker
Um, uh, and he says, I know all about HPV and, uh, stars like, well, you know, you probably already have it. yeah Um, which is, which is true. Yeah.
01:04:27
Speaker
Um, because it doesn't affect men. Men can have it and it doesn't do anything them. And in women, it kills you. yeah so So way to go. Another thing to blame men for.
01:04:39
Speaker
um He ties them up, but they have their extremely sharp friendship bracelets and you are easily able to escape yeah while he monologues about how he met Sharon. And basically she's just manipulated him for years, um telling him that they could be an official couple. Um, they escape, but they immediately get knocked out by Sharon, yeah who has come to Vista Del Mar on her own. She takes them to a cliff where she has alligators attack them. So they're forced to jump off the cliff, hitting all the rocks on the way down, much like Trish. Much like Trish.
01:05:14
Speaker
but However, because they are wearing culottes. Their culottes save their lives. Their culottes act as a natural parachute, and they just sort of float down to the bottom in this very bizarre shot of them just floating down with their culottes catching air, which, you know, that's a science trick you should do in in science class. See if that actually works. Yeah.
01:05:36
Speaker
See if culottes will save you from jumping off a cliff. Um, they apologize to each other and Barb tells her all the, like, the stuff that she's been doing on her own and how much she's enjoyed, like, finding herself. She tells her she got her labia pierced, which, yikes. Yikes. And she's like, I immediately took it out, though.
01:05:54
Speaker
Yeah. um ah This, and then Sharon tells um Edgar that she lied about them being spies and he stops her from setting off the um the mosquito um device. Microchip thing. The the yeah the thing that's going to draw the mosquitoes to Vista Del Mar. Meanwhile, Yo-Yo is driving a submarine full of mosquitoes to Vista Del Mar to release the mosquitoes. Yeah.
01:06:21
Speaker
um she uh god damn it um barb and star are trying to get rid of the um the receiver gonna throw it in the ocean um ah but she comes to uh to stop them uh jimmy dornan is like no get out and drive inland and i'll take it out into the ocean i have an antidote because she gave him an antidote to the mosquito stuff early on He drinks it and realizes it's just yeah suicide the soda. Yeah, it's just the soda mixture that she is obsessed with. And he goes, she was going to kill me all along.
01:06:54
Speaker
And so... She was going to kill him the whole time? Yeah. So Barb and Star, they they run up and they grab, they ask a man if they can use his jet ski. And he goes, oh yeah, absolutely. And there's absolutely no fight back. He's like, yeah, here you go. He's like... and No questions. No questions. Darlie Bunkle arrives to fight Jamie Dornan yeah ah to stop them.
01:07:16
Speaker
um ah They're getting on a jet ski. Sharon sees the shrimp queen competition starts to happen. Yo-Yo releases the mosquitoes. It's just, it's an action packed finale, y'all. There's a lot of things happening.
01:07:29
Speaker
sh Sharon gets in the the human cannon, shoots herself into the ocean, smashes into them on the jet ski yeah perfect accuracy. Because she's done it before. um She's done it before. and then they fight in the ocean over the receiver. yep um The mosquitoes are coming. um And Barb and Star are like, well, we're going to die. So they go underwater to avoid the mosquitoes. The mosquitoes all attack Sharon.
01:07:57
Speaker
Their lives flash before their eyes. Yeah, which is just shots from previously in the movie as well as just random shots of things that they have mentioned like Kermit the Frog on a bike. um the two that's what Frog legs is what they don't want get at the restaurant because every time I think about frog legs, I think about the Muppet movie and Kermit and he needed his legs to ride his bicycle. yeah I'll get the veal stuffed manatee instead.
01:08:23
Speaker
Which is so true. Like, i mean, I'm a vegetarian, but even then, like anytime I would see frog legs on the menu, I would immediately think of the Muppet movie because that's the plot. The guy wants to make the frog leg restaurant. oh Oh. But then they are saved by Reba McIntyre, who is a water spirit named named Trish. It's Trish. Who saves them.
Whimsical Rescue by Reba McIntyre
01:08:46
Speaker
by bringing them to shore. um Star and Jamie Dornan decide to be an official couple. yep But Sharon's still alive because she took the real antidote and she's covered in mosquito bites. And she tells her, Star tells her that she's hurting inside, yeah but she's not alone and that she could be her friend. And all the middle-aged people on the beach tell her that they'll be her friend. I'll be her friend. a wonderful place, Vista Del Mar. Yeah. um and We can giggle about bo about butts and boobs. Yeah. um They notice that their shimmer has come back. Yeah, but really it's just someone with a light reflector. um Yeah, yeah. Yeah. ah Jimmy Dornan suggests that they have another buried treasure, which means they're going to have another threesome. Essentially, yeah. ah
01:09:33
Speaker
And then they decide to, they have to go in the banana boat, which is what they were going to do. And it was a real tit flapper. Yeah, it was a real tit flapper. And then this is the last of Emma's fun facts, Emma's fun facts. So for them to so film the scene of them on the banana boat, they had to go at like half speed for safety reasons. um And so, but going on a banana boat at half speed is like,
01:09:58
Speaker
not easy and fun. So they had to pretend that it was bouncy because it wasn't bouncy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it was like the hardest shot to do. That makes sense. I've never been on a banana boat. Neither I. But it's a big inflatable raft that you hang on to that a speedboat tows you on is what a banana boat And then you fall in the water. They use them a lot on luxury yachts, like below deck.
01:10:28
Speaker
Sure. Whatever. yeah um ah Anyway, so that is Barb. There's a post-credit scene with, well, there's during-credit scenes with everybody dancing. yeah And then there's a post-credit scene with the middle-aged man in the Speedo talking about friendship. Yeah. There you go.
01:10:46
Speaker
And that's Barb and Star go to del Vista Del Mar. Yeah, what comedy classic. What a silly movie. Honestly, should have taken an edible to watch it. I'm disappointed in myself. Big time. ah And I will know for future viewings of this film.
01:11:06
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes, yes. um ah It's very sweet. Middle-aged female friendship movie. Yes, there you go. It's what society needed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very 2021. Yeah. um What are we doing next week, Emma? Next week, we are doing another Netflix original. I have been um asked to do this by many, many people, um including Charlie's wonderful, fabulous um boss, Jen. she asked me if She told me that this is a really good movie and that I should watch it. And so we're going to do it. We're going to do voicemails for Isabel.
01:11:44
Speaker
Oh, another new one. Yeah. i am I almost watched this the other day. I'm glad I did it. Yeah. I'm glad you didn't either. I almost did it a few weeks ago, but then I had the thought to do something else.
01:11:54
Speaker
And so now here we are. Listen. Listen, Jen, if you're listening. Yeah. We're doing you a favor. Yeah. We're going to watch this movie and talk about it just for you, Jen. So I feel like the least you could do is write us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podcast Addict.
01:12:10
Speaker
There you go There you go. And then you can talk to Charlie about it and it'll be great because you'll know that he'll have had to have watched this film because it is pretty much a prerequisite that he has to watch every single film that I watch for this podcast. So when he doesn't like it as much as the ah shitty movie, The Decoy Bride, you also can mock him.
01:12:34
Speaker
There you go. But apparently it's really great. So I'm excited. Sure. Yeah. yeah well i ah Shall we outro? Let's outro.
01:12:45
Speaker
Thank you for listening to Go Get Your Girl. If you like us, tell your friends and please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Jen, or wherever you get your podcasts. It helps out a lot and we would really appreciate it.
01:12:56
Speaker
Thanks to Andrew Milliken and Nick Svoboda for our theme music and Elena Henderson for our artwork.
01:13:03
Speaker
You can follow us on Instagram at gogetyourgirlpod or email us at gogetyourgirlpod at gmail. You can follow me and only me on social media at emilympizza. Until next time, we're just two girls.
01:13:18
Speaker
Standing in front of the internet. Asking it yet to love us. Good night. Good night.