Transcript
Speaker: That was my friend's one piece of advice to me before starting a podcast was don't forget to hit record.
Speaker: Welcome back to Something's Brewing, the podcast where we stir up real conversations about mental health, well-being, and and what it means to truly thrive both in life and in work. I'm your host, Laura Joseph, and I'm excited for today's episode.
Speaker: We have Liz Collins on the podcast, one of my girlfriend's longtime friends and somebody who reached out to me when she saw that I was launching a podcast. Today, we're going to be talking about Liz's journey from employee of a large retail organization to somebody who found herself without a job and at a loss as to what to do next.
Speaker: She turned this into a huge opportunity to start her own company and today we talk about the ups and downs that she's navigated throughout that journey and where she is today. Grab your favorite drink, take a sip, and listen up while we dive right in. So they do an annual survey for all of their store managers and they ask for feedback in it. And I'm usually always pretty happy with where I'm going, how I'm doing it and not having issues with like the company. But this year they changed the model and made it almost impossible for any the store managers to make their annual budgets for the year. And that's a big chunk of money. can be anywhere from 25 to $45,000 of our salary that impacts the dollar figure. So
Speaker: the dollar figure so Because of COVID, we were blowing our budgets out of the water every single day, every single month, where if we had a $100,000 monthly average of sales, we were making $250,000. mean, it was just crazy amounts of money we were making.
Speaker: And so when we came out of COVID, this was 2022, and it was January. They took my January budget from the previous year, which would have been fine if they increased it by 10 12%.
Speaker: They increased it by 200%. And so everybody in the company had that same heart-sinking feeling. Where are we going to make up 200% over the course of the next 11 months? Like, it's just, it was so unattainable.
Speaker: And frustrating because we had worked so hard through COVID. And so I put that in there. They also had done away with celebrating Gay Pride Month. They didn't really celebrate Black History Month that year. Like they really went completely different direction.
Speaker: And this is before all of like the DEI initiatives were removed from companies. This was happening before that was happening. Right. So I was very frustrated by that, too, because I had a bunch of employees that were both fit in those categories, including myself, obviously.
Speaker: And I didn't really care for me. But the demographic of our customer being so farm based really didn't help. that culture for my staff that did fall into both of those settings.
Speaker: And it was just frustrating. So I put all of that in there. And then hindsight, I realized that, you know, it's not an anonymous survey because you have to use your employee ID number. So they know that you can't take the survey. Is it really ever anonymous? No, it's not. But I thought that they were helpful comments and not necessarily hurtful, but I'm sure my tone was very um shaded in the protecting my staff. So I get to be like kind of that mama bear with my team and wanting to make sure they felt included it.
Speaker: So when the write-up started happening, so this happened, the survey happened in May and I started getting write-ups for job performance. Now, mind you, I was one of 15 stores in our district and I was number three in the district for percent to sales, not overall sales, because I wasn't a high volume store, but percent to sales, customer service index, and loyalty.
Speaker: So those are the three things that we always focused on, bringing our customers back in making them part of our families, feeling like they have a voice. And I felt really at the top of that level. And there were times that I was first and there was times that I was second and third, but I really kind of rounded out that year or that half a year at third place.
Speaker: So knowing that I'm doing all the things that they're asking us to do and and controlling all of those uncontrollables, really, right? I was like, huh, why am I getting these write-ups? Why is this happening? So um I remember my district manager, who I was very close with, and I could, as i you know, kind of unwind from all of this and recognize that, you know, what was happening then and kind of figured out all the pieces that went together.
Speaker: He actually looked at me at one point in this conversation and said, Liz, do you still want to be here? And I went, huh? I didn't expect that question. And of course the waterworks, right? Cause I don't fail. Like everything I do in life, I don't fail.
Speaker: Whether it's, you know, my first marriage. I mean, I stayed in that way too long cause I didn't want to fail, right? Nobody wants to fail. So I looked at him and I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know if I'm the leader that can lead this team anymore.
Speaker: i don't know if this is the headspace I want to be in anymore. Like, I just don't know. So I kind of recognize. So this is fast forward to August of that same year. Pause. What did it mean to you to say? I don't know.
Speaker: It was hugely eye-opening because here I thought I'm with a Fortune 500 company. I can transfer anywhere in the world. We can move anywhere in the United States and I'll have a job, right? Like I won't have to worry about that financial security and being able to to move anywhere. So it was so important for me to have that job, to make that six-figure salary, to be able to afford the things that I want for my kids and my wife and my house.
Speaker: like For me to say, I don't know, I went... wait a minute, what path am I on? Where am i Like, what's next? So like a huge moment.
Speaker: It was a huge moment. It was a very huge moment. And I just kind of looked at him and I was appreciative of all of the things that he was trying to do. He actually wanted me to take another position within the company so that I didn't lose my job.
Speaker: And when he asked me that question, I was like, well, if I'm not going to be at the top, like I didn't ever want to be a district manager. i always just wanted to be a store manager because the district manager position I didn't feel like I would have a lot to add to my peers.
Speaker: Like I was great at leading a team this way, but I didn't feel like I had a lot to add to my peers and I never wanted to be a district manager. So where- Another question for you. Hold on, another question for you.
Speaker: Did you feel that you were failing yourself or other people or both? Both. Both. like In that moment, it was absolutely both. Because I can hear you in your statements where a lot of your personality and a lot of your focus...
Speaker: is impacting others, which is great, right? That's a customer service side that we have. And oftentimes that clashes sometimes with performance metrics of company versus taking care of the people, right? So when you have that question, is it, did I fail or am I now failing the other people that I've been taking care of?
Speaker: Yeah. So that, that actually, that question and answer comes way later after I was fired because all of my staff, not all of them, but the ones that I had built really good relationships with, like begged me to come back, begged me to be part of their life, begged me to, to provide references for them and so that they can move on to different things that they needed to. So, yeah, I mean, my people really did mean a big, it was a big part of that relationship. I always loved training and that you know, kind of reflects into what I'm doing now, but yeah it's always been training people, right? Because even training a dog is about training people. So I've always loved that. I've loved to watch my staff flourish.
Speaker: move on to things that they wanted to do in life. I mean, listen, retail always a first kind of step in ah in a ladder of where you're going to go, whether you're going through college or you're a high school graduate and you want to get your first job, things like that. I don't ever think that they're going to be with me forever. That's never been a thing. But if I can help them realize their potential and they can unlock that and move on to whatever it is that they want to do, that was huge.
Speaker: So yeah, in that moment, I was absolutely- Sounds like someone else helped you realize your potential in that moment. That was a huge turning point of someone asking you, hold on, do you even want to be here?
Speaker: Right. Actually, you know what? I never really thought about that, but I never felt any animosity towards... him. No, saying that he unlocked something within you with that one question, right?
Speaker: I guess he never really thought about that. Yeah, that's pretty that's pretty poignant. and I never really thought about the dynamic of that. So anyhow, so he was putting together, this is now August, putting together things, met not even metrics, just like these like ideas of things that I needed to to accomplish, which really had no measurable um metrics or anything to go along with it. so it was like,
Speaker: well, listen, i see the writing on the wall here. You're just going to have to fire me. Like that's all it's coming down to. i am going to collect unemployment. I do not want another position in the company. Even though if I did take another position, they only remove like 10% of your salary.
Speaker: So I could have still made a lot of money doing some other meaningless job, like ringing a register like that. I could have done that. Like, it's crazy, crazy to think about. But I knew that wasn't enough for my soul. You know, I couldn't just... was going say, how did you make that decision? Because that's a money versus...
Speaker: me kind of decision. Right. And luckily Jeannie, you know, my, my wife has been absolutely key in all of this and supporting my mental health as well as where we're going. So andka in August I was like, Oh, here's my writeup. This is going to happen. We consolidated all of our bills and I got a couple of credit cards with no interest so we can pay down everything and get rid of everything. And then we looked at our budget and said, well,
Speaker: I'm going to make $600 a week with unemployment. Can we afford that? Do I need to get out and get something right this second? Or can I take this time to kind of develop my headspace and figure out what I want to do next?
Speaker: And she's like, no, I think we'll be fine, actually. We we can make that work. So then... What did that mean to you in that moment? Oh, my God. It was incredible because I no longer had to work for money. I got to work for me and what I wanted to do and what I love to do. So it was just...
Speaker: I've never had that before. I've always been that person that supports everything, that kind of takes care of everything. Not in this relationship. Financially, Jeannie does support all of us. But we had a kid in private school.
Speaker: We had a kid going to college. We like extravagant vacations. We have big car payments, like all of these things where I'm like, well, I guess I could sell my car. I could just get something or anything. And it was so empowering at that moment to be like, I don't have to chase that dollar from from a corporate setting. and And I was successful, right? I made it to the top of the ladder. I made it to where needed to be.
Speaker: And I really thought that success in that moment was about making that much money. And it was always about, I can provide, I can do, and we can have a great life if I continue doing what I'm doing, being miserable the entire time.
Speaker: So and what did it become for you? Because it sounds like that one question really set you on a different trajectory of one reflection, but two realizing values for yourself, values for your family, what truly spoke to your soul. And you're almost forced to kind of take that pause and reflect, but that's not easy for a lot of people.
Speaker: They will often kind of go on that treadmill and they're just going to go to the next thing because they need to. And that's what they're used to doing. But changing that condition behavior is really challenging.
Speaker: Well, going back to my original statement of I don't fail. I don't like to fail. Nobody wants to fail. That's a terrible feeling. So I've never gone into my own business wholeheartedly, both feet on the floor, figuring it out.
Speaker: because I didn't know what that would look like financially. What if I couldn't make that happen? What if I couldn't make that same dollar figure? And I had to look at that differently too, right, Laura? Like I had to look at, this is my monthly income.
Speaker: So if I have a board and train that makes me $6 million dollars in the first two weeks, but no money, and then the second two weeks, how do I make that work in the budget? um And that was different, right? I was so used to, this is what I need to pay the bills every single week. So Had to look at that, had to be able to strip it back and say, and I had to let go of everything.
Speaker: Like I no longer paid any bills. I have my own credit cards. I had my own car payment. I had to let all of that go, all of that control go and let Jeannie do it all, which was, oh my God.
Speaker: and not only am I dependent on her now, she takes care of everything like that. Like, I don't. How did you navigate that? Like coming into adulthood age, let alone I've been through all of this success and this is kind of quote unquote who I am.
Speaker: and now I have to relinquish that identity. yeah what did that What did that look like for you? it was lots of conversations um for sure. i was at the beginning, I wouldn't spend any money on anything, nothing.
Speaker: Like I needed to buy treats for my training business. I'd be like, okay, this is going to be this amount of money per month in order to sustain and be able to do that? Can we afford that? And I really kind of stepped back from all of it and didn't didn't pay attention. Like I just let it happen.
Speaker: And like, wait a minute, I do have a credit card. Like I could still have that thing, whatever that thing is. But in my mind, I had to pay that off immediately. So it just changed your entire look at what and how you spend, which was also something that I think I really needed that push to grow through.
Speaker: Because, ah you know, ah so what, you have a credit card bill, like everybody does, right? But no, you don't necessarily have to. And you don't have to be beholden to that credit card bill, because you need that big job, because you need to be able to pay all that stuff. So It was definitely different. Okay. So take me back to but writing was kind of on the wall with like, you know, this is what's happening next. And these are the conversations that we need to have. Right. There was obviously a mental shift and I'm sure some mental anguish that you kind of went through during that period.
Speaker: It was actually pretty, i like I looked at Scott and I said, you know, I don't know the answer to that question. I can't actually answer it. And he was visibly upset by it because I was one of his leaders that really brought the whole team together and was able to have like great dialogues with everybody and listen to all of my peers.
Speaker: And we would have many conversations off the off the conference calls, right? Like it wasn't always just that forward conference call with him present, But we'd have a lot of conversations about where we're going, what the direction is, and and all of that stuff. So it was I was a loss for him, a big loss for him. And I could see that in the way that he was speaking with me. But I also knew that the write-up didn't have anything measurable in it. So how could I turn it around? So I knew that this was you know sort of the end in sight.
Speaker: And that changed my thought process. I no longer... cared at that moment about metrics. I didn't care whether or not we made, mean, I cared if we made the sales budgets because my team got rewarded for that, but I didn't care if I got a reward for it. Like I, it just didn't matter. And I actually had fun leading the team for the first time in a very long time.
Speaker: COVID changed the space of retail. So crazy, so crazy, changed the space. And what was different that you had fun? I didn't care anymore. Like I didn't care whether I was meeting the company goals or didn't care whether or not, you know, it was just about that connection with customers and, you know, doing the basics, but.
Speaker: wasn't doing any of the extras that they always required us to do. And it was like, got in the way of that customer interaction. I had had real conversations with my assistant manager to let her know the writing on the wall. So she knew what was coming because I didn't feel it was fair for her to have to take over for me and not know anything. So I started training her on everything I did every day so that the team was still, again, it was always about the team, right? The team was still supported by having her in my role. So she knew how to do the order. She knew how to do the scheduling. She knew how to do all the different things um so that she wasn't feeling super overwhelmed herself when she had to take my role.
Speaker: Cause that's the other thing with retail. Like they don't ever give you a promotion. They make you do the job and then if you're successful at it, maybe you'll get an opportunity. Of course, she did not get an opportunity. She actually got demoted, ah but that's a whole nother story.
Speaker: um But I did train her. So i spent a lot more time with that. And so she understood what was going on. um None of the staff knew. I didn't let any of the staff know because I didn't want them to give up.
Speaker: Right. I wanted them to still shine and still do the best. And I certainly didn't want a mass exit. Like didn't want everybody. Oh, well, Liz is leaving. I'm done. I'm out. like We still had customers to take care of. We still had, you know, a community there that needed support. So that was never my goal either.
Speaker: ah So that changed my mindset in that. And then I was over the next three months, they didn't fire me until um yeah this is the worst part. Six weeks before Christmas. Oh, my goodness.
Speaker: Yeah. And I just looked at him. I'm like, classic. Like, really? Yeah. You couldn't have done this. Yeah. Whatever, Scott, whatever. I'll sign my write up. There you go. Enjoy your day.
Speaker: um Everybody was telling me that I should have gone after him and I could have gotten my job back. And I'm like, for what? Like, why would I want to be in an environment that isn't supporting us? And then, you you know, everything subsequently that's happened with them dissolving the DEI environment and programs within the company and you know, they just jumped right on that bandwagon. They're like, oh, yeah, we're not doing it anymore.
Speaker: They stopped reporting everything to the human rights campaign. And they jumped right on that. They were like, yep, we're getting rid of all this. And I was like, that's not an environment for me. Like, I can't be there.
Speaker: So I have two questions before we kind of move on to the second chapter of like post this. One is, do you think that you would have left eventually on your own? And two is this sounds like a theme for a lot of people who might be listening that they don't align with the values of a company, but they have a good salary and they need to provide.
Speaker: So what's your message in that? This definitely goes into that work-life balance for sure. Would I have gone on my own? Probably not. And the reason I say that is because I was very successful doing it and I could talk myself out of the stresses and reasons to leave very easily.
Speaker: There were more good days than there were bad. Okay. I think, I mean, I might've left eventually, but I certainly wouldn't have left to start my own company. Definitely not. Work-life balance in a retail setting is absolutely non-existent.
Speaker: None. You cannot... I couldn't make softball games that I was going to. And for me, a commitment is a commitment. If I tell you I'm doing it, I'm doing Right. rap um So you become very wishy-washy in in your ability to say, yes, I'll be at that party. Or yes, I will be at that softball game. Or yes, I will play cornhole with you in a league. Like just no work-life balance whatsoever because there's a call out, because there's somebody that it can't close, because somebody got injured, because, because, because.
Speaker: And you'd end up back at the store. And I was already working 14 hour days to begin with. So I was almost there open to close anyway. And that was just to support the staff in a retail setting in a big business like that.
Speaker: Unfortunately, this isn't all retail, like small retail does it way better than big box retail. right Big box retail expected this $100,000 a month store to work three people to open and three people to close.
Speaker: And that was dealing with 2,000 to 3,000 customers a day And it's just exhausting. i can only imagine. So I don't know. I might have found something else that I would be good at doing, but I don't think I would have left. and and definitely not in this time frame.
Speaker: Um, the second part of that question was, what would you tell? So the alignment of, I know I'm in a position that I don't align with the values of the company to your point, I have zero work-life balance and I don't even know what that means for myself.
Speaker: And on the flip side, I have this salary and these people to provide for, and the stressors of life are just too much. I wish in that moment that I was able to see the younger generation for what they were. Like, I feel very old sometimes when I talk about the two different generational um categories that I find my staff in now.
Speaker: When they were closer to my age, my staff was closer to my age. We all felt sort of that if you worked hard, you got noticed, you got promoted, you moved on to bigger and better things.
Speaker: And that's not the culture of the younger generation. And finding that ability to lead that younger generation was difficult for me because I was like, no, you want my job, like work hard, you can have it like it's out there for you.
Speaker: And that's not what they were looking for. They were looking for more of a experience in the work environment. So they, they had, if I had listened better, they were teaching me about work-life balance before I even understood what that looked like. okay So that would have been, um it would have been a great lesson to have been able to learn if I had stayed longer. I think I would have gotten that a little bit better.
Speaker: um But yeah, no, i feel like work-life balance being on the outside of that now and the outside of that what everybody calls a rat race and you're just a hamster on a wheel and going and going and going. I feel like if I had known that I could have made ends meet the way that I am now, ah i would have done this way sooner. That's key. Cause I think there are a lot of people that are sitting in the position of either. I hate what I do, but i i need the money. Right.
Speaker: I am in a position where I can survive and continue what I'm doing because it's okay. but there's a larger calling or something they don't even know about, but something is, there's friction within what they're doing. And the unknown is the biggest challenge of all of us.
Speaker: It is so, so scary at times. So, so scary. And I think in the beginning of starting my company, I had to think more monthly instead of just weekly. So if I did do that board and train for $6 million. dollars I was able to carry my, my money out for six weeks.
Speaker: You know, that was six weeks of money that I was making in two and how to stretch that and how to make that work. And, Yeah, I wish I had done it so much sooner. i'd look back now and my dad regularly, he's 71, excuse me, 72.
Speaker: And he had a stroke last year and I was there for that. And I was at the hospital and I was able to bring him to doctor's appointments and procedures and things and... so, so important to me.
Speaker: But even just the random, hey, I got somebody in my foursome dropped out on Wednesday. Do you want to golf with me? Well, yeah, I want to golf with you. Let me rearrange my schedule and make that work. Never would I have ever done that in a retail setting. I would have been like, no, I'm expected to be there. I need to be there. That's what my company expects of me. And I can't switch shifts to go golfing with you. That's irresponsible.
Speaker: And now I realize that no, that's, that's balance. Like that's important. Now you're setting your own boundaries instead of you just, you literally just said, no, my company expects me there versus what do I expect of myself or need? Right. And now you're able to have that question for yourself, which I think is critical and often hard to do when you owe someone else your time.
Speaker: Right. Right. Yeah. That's also very poignant. I hadn't even really thought about that, but yeah. They're paying me to be there, so I have to be there. Now I'm paying myself to to be there. And I am there 100% for all of my clients and past clients.
Speaker: Well, there's also the stigma of what happens if I don't go and what do they look at me like, right? I'm now looked upon as the one who can't commit to, yeah I'm not doing my work as they expect or whatever it is.
Speaker: so people often feel... that choosing themselves is hard in those settings, right? where someone's either going to come on the ride with me choosing myself or i have to disappoint somebody else.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. That's critical. How did you go from, and no longer have a job to I want to create my own business? So I've always kind of, I've been a dog trainer for 25 years or 28 years. i've been a dog trainer since I years old And through that journey of dog training, obviously, right, you learn all different types of methodologies of training.
Speaker: And i kind of created my own culture in dog training that it's really just helping dogs make good choices versus just mandating them to do this thing every single time. Like what decided that I was going to do it full time?
Speaker: Well, that I owe all that credit to my wife because she said, do it. And I said, but what if, but what if, and she said, but what if it rains caterpillars tomorrow? Like, what if?
Speaker: ah If it gets to the point you need to get a job flipping burgers for and three days a week, then that's what we do. Like, it's not, you've got to do it. You've got to do it. And so then I, I kind of went.
Speaker: Did you just say i I'm thinking of creating my own business? Like how did you come to? Okay. Yeah. I mean, I've always done some sort of dog training on the side. I've also been professionally trained by different people.
Speaker: So yeah, I mean, i I always kind of did it, but I never actually solicited business, if that makes sense. Somebody was like, oh, you're a dog trainer. Great. I've got this, you know, and okay, cool. Like it just kind of came to me. So you sound like me. It's kind of like helping everybody else, but never actually taking the leap of like my face is behind this and my name is on this. Yes.
Speaker: Yes. Well, and in that same sort of comment, I made Jeannie be the financial officer of the company. so Like, wait, I'm not doing this by myself. You're in it too. Like, come on, let's go.
Speaker: So she loves that. And she actually writes, believe it or not, because she works with persons with special needs. She writes all the behavior consults. all of the documentation of what I've done and how I've done it, and then be able to so put it in a nice package.
Speaker: She writes all that because she's used to doing that for teaching strategies for her staff to help the clients understand what it is that they need to do. Individuals, excuse me, not clients. So she she does a fantastic job with that. I'll write notes on every session that I have, and then she builds a whole program and plan around that. And it's just absolutely amazing. So she absolutely is a big part of this company and a big part of this business. But That even set aside just the ability for her to give me the space and time that I needed, you know, losing of the job. Right. I know we kind of got off of that a little bit, but that failure and that depression that comes after that, like, who am I?
Speaker: And I've always described myself as a dog trainer. I've always said, the what do you do? Well, I'm a dog trainer. And I also work at whatever. like Interesting. Okay. I've always identified myself as a dog trainer or a behaviorist.
Speaker: So with that, I was like, well, no, I'm no longer that store manager. I'm a dog trainer. like That's what I love. That's what I to So that so that was October, November, December, I met with a bunch of people that I knew were going to be able to support me both mentally as well as in the business. Not that they've had a business, but they've had some sort of environment that they can lend something to me. um One of my best friends is a retired canine officer for the state police.
Speaker: So she went through the whole program of training a canine partner, which is more operant style training methodologies. But Super helpful because she also has to read those behaviors.
Speaker: She couldn't just expect the dog to do whatever and not, you know, not act up. Right. Cause dogs are dogs. No, I want to bite that sleeve. I'm going to do it anyway, even though you told me not to.
Speaker: So lots of different stuff with that. She gave me her state police book so I could read through the curriculum that they utilized. um And, and just ah really great conversations around that. And so Able to build what it is that I was going to do and how I was going to do it differently. Like why, what sets me apart from every other dog trainer in the world? Everybody knows a dog trainer. I feel like everyone's, oh yeah, go do you have whatever.
Speaker: Everybody knows somebody. Um, what makes me different and what, you know, what kind of sets that apart. ah so I had to build that culture for myself during those first few months. And I was successful at at at asking for business and getting business and friends were like, wow, you're doing this full time. All right, cool. Yeah. I got this dog. You need to do this one. You need to, you need to help me with that one or.
Speaker: or what have you. And they referred me to everybody. Like they were just so amazing. Fell into place for you. Yes. Yes, they did. i love that. They did. And work-life balance, like ah dog training can be one of those things that is 24 seven as well.
Speaker: So people want you to work on Saturdays and Sundays, and they want you to work on nights and weekends. And I'm just not willing to give up that time anymore. And I've set that structure for myself and said, no, I'm sorry. My nights are important to me. That's my family time. That's That's the time that I cook dinner for my family and put the love on the plate and talk about our days. And I'm just not willing to give it up.
Speaker: Occasionally I will, but again, it's my choice and it's not something that, That's always, but it's, you know, it's sometimes. So. And isn't it interesting how people like just fall in line and they hopefully respect that. And you're able to still run a successful business, even having parameters and boundaries around it. yeah And there's often misconceptions of not being able to do that.
Speaker: So you kind of starting with what's important to you and the values that you have and building it around that allows you to run A successful business that you're also passionate about.
Speaker: Oh, so now it's yours. It's yours. Yeah. My clients. And it's so bad too, Laura, because half the time we'll spend talking about personal things.
Speaker: You know, we're working with the dog. We're working. i do a lot of my training, like out in the world, real life training. So we were on the trail here in Cheshire and I had a client on Friday. Her schedule doesn't allow her to work.
Speaker: My hours. So I did do ah an exception for her and she's a five o'clock client. So we're walking on the trail and it ended up being a two hour session instead of one. And she, you know, kind of unpacked a lot of her traumas and things that were going on in her life. And she's like, you know, I don't feel like I just gained a dog trainer for my dog, but a friend.
Speaker: Wow. Full circle, right? Wanting to make meaningful conversations and relationships. And like customers, you know, they're congratulating me and high-fiving me because my daughter's going off to college in a month. Right.
Speaker: yeah You know what i love about that? i was just talking to somebody about this the other day is the theme is there. It's the vehicle of which you're delivering it. Yours happens to be your passion of of training dogs, but inevitably you're still working with their owner, which is a person that you can impact at the end of the day.
Speaker: And that's the value you've carried through the entire time. I love that. I think everybody should be able to bring their dogs everywhere with them. Yesterday, I went for ice cream with a good friend of ours and we ended up out in Avon and I'm like, oh, let's try the Goodwill. I just want to see what they've got. And we have got the dog with us. And I'm like, well, you're going to be now therapy dog. So get in line. She came in the store with me and it was absolutely amazing. She truly is a certified therapy dog. I'm not saying she's just therapy dog. She truly is.
Speaker: She walked into the store. She's on a perfect heel right next to me doing what she's supposed to be doing. And a couple of the employees walked up to me and were like, can we pet her? And I said, absolutely. And I told Freya free and she got to like, just be a dog.
Speaker: yeah She wouldn't leave their side. I dropped her leash and she was attached to them. So i knew they don't know this, but I knew she was helping them. Right. She was their therapy dog in that moment. And it's just so amazing.
Speaker: enriching to me. Does everybody have a therapy dog? No. Does everybody have a capability of having a therapy dog? No, not all dogs personalities are that. Right. But I want everybody to be able to bring their dog on vacation with them. I want everybody to be able to have these great relationships with them because they love us unconditionally. Right. We don't need anything else in our lives, but our dogs to like fill that, whatever it is that we're looking for. We don't need to be needed by anybody else. Right. We could just be needed by our dog and be a whole person and not have to worry. Everyone's always told me I should get a dog. And it's funny because Carrie's dog gypsy is like,
Speaker: The one, I will tell you, I'm not an animal person. The first day that Carrie had gypsy at her house and I went over, this dog from day one must have known that I have needed some sort of love and support because that dog just did not leave my side. And Carrie was like, she never does this with anybody. I have never seen her attached to somebody. To this day, last night, same thing.
Speaker: I walk in the house, she realizes who I am. And it's like, crazy Everyone just stopped and was like, what just happened? And she will just find her way to me. And I was like, gyps, you know, you just know I need, we both have anxiety. Look at that. We just attached to each other. we need each other's love. and It is so, so true.
Speaker: i can't wait for you to meet Freya. Cause I'm going to see if she does the same thing too. I would love that. I would love that because it is like, and Carrie's like, and you say you're not a dog person. I'm like, I'm a gypsy person. Like now I just love gypsy, but.
Speaker: I can see it. It's a comfort for sure. So I'm so happy that you're you know in the space that you're in now and where you're thriving, but still having that impact and that delivery of impact on other people's lives.
Speaker: I think the one question as we look to wrap up is, has the definition of mental health and mental wellbeing shifted for you? Like, did you have a perspective on what that life was doing to you overall, mentally, physically, whatever, to now being able to set your own path and boundaries.
Speaker: And what does mental health look like for you now? Yeah, that's a very um that's a very loaded question. I know. That's why I wrapped up with it. How much time do we have left? Exactly.
Speaker: So being that I grew up with lots of traumas in my early childhood, i think I always looked for some sort of job that would keep me moving very quickly. So I always liked those fast paced environments where it was constantly putting out fires left and right. And so it all helps with our anxiety. Right. That also fires on all those cylinders.
Speaker: um I today my mental health is so important. i I do this one service called the pack hike.
Speaker: I go and pick up people's dogs from their home. I take them out into the wilderness and I do an hour long hike with them. And then I bring them home. And it's such a great service, but I constantly, doesn't matter rain, snow, wind, 90 degree weather, it doesn't matter. I constantly take a moment while I'm in that nature, ground myself and say, I'm so grateful that that I get to do this all day long. And I'll take a picture and I often send it to my wife.
Speaker: I'll take pictures of flowers and send it to another one of my friends that's like super like, like wildflower fanatic. She loves those. So I send them to her. So I'm not only recognizing and stopping and smelling the roses myself, but I'm spreading that to everybody else. Like, thank you so much. The gratitude that I have for being able to do what I do every day and make money at it.
Speaker: Somebody just said to me on the golf course the other the other day, it's actually my father's lawyer. He goes, does it sometimes feel like you're getting paid to eat ice cream? Yes. Yes, I do. That's awesome. Yes, I do.
Speaker: But mental health is so, so important throughout all of that. i I always have been the one in my family to just take care of everybody else and not really look at what I needed to do for me.
Speaker: I wasn't nearly as important as keeping the peace. I'm the funny one. I'm the peacemaker. I'm the one that everybody kind of looks to, to, to get something done or, or just shoot the shit, you know, that kind of thing. Like, so my mental health has never been forefront.
Speaker: And now I, I kind of have shifted that dynamic. No, I'm not doing that thing. No, I'm not going that place. I'm not, Like saying no is so, so powerful and knowing that I'm doing it for myself. Like that's just mind blowing.
Speaker: yeah You make it sound easy. I'm imagining that there was a giant shift that needed to be made or did it just kind of happen for you? It's not an easy decision. It's a conscious decision. But the guilt that's around that decision, I no longer accept.
Speaker: It's not mine. And I think that came from laying on the couch and After losing that job and just saying, you know, she didn't say, how'd your day go? What'd you do? And I was like, babe, today i did nothing. I took a shower.
Speaker: Like I was able to do that. Did I make dinner? No, we have a plan for it, but I'm not, I can't, I just can't do it. And being able to have a partner that absolutely said, that's okay.
Speaker: Like today, that's okay. It's okay. you don't have to. i was like, what does that mean? I don't have to. I always have to. There's always, been what do you mean? I don't have to. um i think that's just created that space to, to really put us ourselves first. And we spend a lot more time together now than we ever did.
Speaker: And oh my God, did I miss out on so much, like so much, so much of a kid. I always tried to make her games important, but in the practices, I didn't drive her I couldn't, I was somewhere obligated to something else. And Now she goes off to college in 20 days and I don't know what i'm going to do.
Speaker: Oh my goodness. A whole nother chapter coming up for you. yeah Wow. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of this. I honestly feel like we need a part two because there's so much to still unpack. and I really, really, really appreciate you coming on the show. And here we are talking about this, but I want to wrap up and just say congratulations on the path that you have laid out the growth that you've had, and just the self awareness it took to make ah such a drastic shift in your life and say it's okay to do this.
Speaker: Yes, you had support, but you ultimately were the one making that conscious decision. So it's not easy for a lot of people to do myself included. So I'm truly grateful for you sharing your experience, wisdom and insight with everybody here.
Speaker: Oh, well, thank you. I look forward to a part two. That would be fun. Maybe we'll do in person next time. Oh, that would be fun. Yeah, let's do that. um Yeah, for sure. Thank you so much.
Speaker: You're welcome. Take care, Laura.
