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Hitting the Gym, Parking Prices and a whole lot more - Episode 12
13 Plays5 years ago
This one's a spiel on working out and how it might not be working out. Also - Parking charges around downtown Dubai. Ouch! Enjoy the episode.BECOME A PATRONHey guys, if you enjoy my work then you can support it with as little as $2 (one time or monthly). It goes towards paying for equipment, time, all my comedy work including the podcasts, youtube videos and live events I do and MOST IMPORTANTLY towards my family. Help me feed my baby here:www.patreon.com/join/salmanzq?
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Transcript
Early Morning Routine
00:00:14
Speaker
Hey guys, welcome to the Expat Brad podcast.
00:00:17
Speaker
It's Salman Qureshi.
00:00:18
Speaker
How are you all doing?
00:00:21
Speaker
I had a great start to the day.
00:00:23
Speaker
I got up super early.
00:00:25
Speaker
I mean, it was dark outside, people.
00:00:28
Speaker
People should not be allowed to wake up at that time, is what I'm saying.
00:00:32
Speaker
That early.
00:00:33
Speaker
6 a.m.
00:00:35
Speaker
That's right.
00:00:35
Speaker
6 a.m.
00:00:38
Speaker
That's crazy.
00:00:38
Speaker
The only people who get up at that time are people who didn't do well in their careers or they're making so much money like CEOs.
00:00:45
Speaker
They're the only two extremes that should be getting up that early.
00:00:48
Speaker
But
Health Kick Challenges
00:00:49
Speaker
I did.
00:00:49
Speaker
I did because I'm on this health thing now.
00:00:52
Speaker
I'm trying to get fit and I'm working out.
00:00:55
Speaker
So I've been heading to the gym and I realized the only time I can get it done is that early.
00:01:01
Speaker
Because after that, my kid wakes up, my family wakes up, I got to get work done.
00:01:07
Speaker
And if I leave it for later as I was doing it, you know, I kept telling myself I'm going to go and do it later in the day when I have like an hour free.
00:01:16
Speaker
And it never happens, does it?
00:01:18
Speaker
So it was great to just get it out of the way.
00:01:21
Speaker
Went in, worked hard, had no stress of like I got to run off real quick and get some stuff done.
00:01:28
Speaker
No, I took my time at the gym.
00:01:30
Speaker
And so I don't know if it was productive because because I had more time, I took more breaks in between my sets, which meant like my Apple Watch, like timed clocked.
00:01:40
Speaker
clocked more exercise minutes.
00:01:43
Speaker
I don't know if I'm doing it right.
00:01:44
Speaker
I use this.
00:01:46
Speaker
So when I'm running, I do the indoor run option.
00:01:49
Speaker
But when I'm working out, there's one there's one called strength training.
00:01:52
Speaker
But I remember it saying something about how it doesn't record your actual exercise.
00:01:58
Speaker
What it does is the equivalent of walking briskly or something like that.
00:02:02
Speaker
I can't remember what it was now.
00:02:04
Speaker
But that's what it is.
00:02:06
Speaker
And it probably recorded more time, which meant, according to my watch, I worked out and burned more calories, which might not be true.
00:02:15
Speaker
But it did give me a false sense of accomplishment.
Balancing Health and Indulgence
00:02:18
Speaker
And I carried it forward by going to Denny's on shakes I wrote and having a big breakfast, which included eggs, sausages, bacon and pancakes.
00:02:29
Speaker
And then I washed it all down with a strawberry milkshake.
00:02:32
Speaker
That's right.
00:02:33
Speaker
I must have not only just undone all the good I did, I damaged, I went one step further.
00:02:40
Speaker
How dare you muscles show up?
00:02:42
Speaker
Let's cover you guys up with some fat.
00:02:46
Speaker
There we go.
00:02:47
Speaker
A little bit of bacon, beef bacon on top of those muscles.
00:02:51
Speaker
Now we're looking like ourselves again.
00:02:53
Speaker
All right.
00:02:54
Speaker
Self-destructive cell.
00:02:56
Speaker
That's what they call me.
00:02:57
Speaker
That's my first name.
00:02:58
Speaker
That's my real first name.
00:03:00
Speaker
Self-destructive Sal.
00:03:01
Speaker
Holy crap.
00:03:02
Speaker
That should be my PS4 name as well.
00:03:04
Speaker
I play Call of Duty and I suck at it.
00:03:06
Speaker
And I play online with my friends and I keep like having like four kills or five kills and they're shooting down like 30, 40 people a game.
00:03:13
Speaker
And so it should just be self-destructive.
00:03:15
Speaker
A couple of times I bond myself by mistake, you know.
00:03:18
Speaker
I shouldn't have used that word.
00:03:19
Speaker
Now this podcast is going to be under FBI surveillance.
00:03:22
Speaker
I shouldn't have used that word.
00:03:23
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:03:24
Speaker
This is going downhill, guys.
00:03:26
Speaker
Just like my day, everything is going downhill.
00:03:29
Speaker
Because right after that high at 6 a.m.
00:03:32
Speaker
of waking up and going to the gym, it all just went downhill after that.
00:03:36
Speaker
Because after the breakfast, I had another meeting and then...
00:03:39
Speaker
I followed up with a meeting in downtown Dubai, my God, in Mars
Parking Woes and Financial Guilt
00:03:43
Speaker
Square.
00:03:43
Speaker
And I accidentally drove up the ramp to the paid parking area, the expensive paid parking area, which charges 25 dirhams an hour now.
00:03:50
Speaker
25 dirhams an hour!
00:03:55
Speaker
25 dirms an hour.
00:03:57
Speaker
That's crazy.
00:03:58
Speaker
That is, that's crazy, man.
00:04:00
Speaker
You know, that hurts.
00:04:02
Speaker
I know it's, like, when you look at it in a different context, it's like 25 dirms.
00:04:05
Speaker
Do you spend that much money on, like, a meal?
00:04:09
Speaker
Now you know why I eat cheap and...
00:04:12
Speaker
But to spend it on parking for an hour.
00:04:15
Speaker
I know.
00:04:16
Speaker
I know what you're thinking.
00:04:17
Speaker
I know everybody's going.
00:04:18
Speaker
You're all like, well, you know, if you go to anywhere in the world, downtown parking is expensive.
00:04:24
Speaker
I know it is.
00:04:25
Speaker
But 25 terms an hour, man.
00:04:27
Speaker
And I think when you're a parent, it hurts more.
00:04:29
Speaker
It's like 25.
00:04:30
Speaker
That could have gone to my baby's food.
00:04:34
Speaker
or his school fee.
00:04:35
Speaker
Like it adds up people.
00:04:37
Speaker
It adds up.
00:04:38
Speaker
All right.
00:04:38
Speaker
You don't know.
00:04:39
Speaker
It adds up.
00:04:39
Speaker
Every Durham adds up.
00:04:41
Speaker
I just, I threw it away for parking conveniently for an hour.
00:04:46
Speaker
What kind of father am I?
00:04:47
Speaker
That's the kind of parental guilt I live with.
00:04:50
Speaker
You know, I spend money and I go, oh, this could have gone to my kid's future.
00:04:55
Speaker
All right.
00:04:56
Speaker
If he ends up wanting to go to like a Ivy League university and he gets a scholarship but doesn't cover everything and I pay up some of the amount to help him out and I realize I'm 25 dollars short, I'm gonna look back at this day and curse myself, you know?
00:05:14
Speaker
That's what it's gonna be.
00:05:15
Speaker
I know when I say it out loud it sounds stupid but man, when you're spending 25 dollars an hour in parking space.
00:05:23
Speaker
For an hour, for an hour.
00:05:25
Speaker
And it was 20 therms every additional hour.
00:05:27
Speaker
That's great.
00:05:27
Speaker
Who the hell is parking there?
00:05:28
Speaker
Who are, oh, it's bankers, right?
00:05:30
Speaker
Marsquare is full of what?
00:05:31
Speaker
Like who, how many employees, it can't be true, right?
00:05:35
Speaker
How many employees are able to pay that amount?
Economics of Downtown Parking
00:05:38
Speaker
I want to know.
00:05:38
Speaker
Like seriously, who's paying 25 plus 20 plus 20?
00:05:42
Speaker
That's like, I don't know, a gazillion therms for the whole day for like an eight hour shift.
00:05:46
Speaker
And you don't come in for eight hours.
00:05:47
Speaker
You come in for nine, 10 hours.
00:05:49
Speaker
That's the reality of it.
00:05:50
Speaker
If you're earning enough money to afford that parking space, I guarantee you're not leaving in eight hours.
00:05:56
Speaker
If you are, you need to start a podcast about how to successfully lead this kind of life, you know, where you're so successful that you don't need to clock that many hours and afford parking like that.
00:06:09
Speaker
The only thing is, I guess some of it is for visitors and encourage us to get the hell in and out.
00:06:15
Speaker
I get it.
00:06:16
Speaker
But, dude, it was 25 therms an hour.
00:06:20
Speaker
In case you missed it early on in the podcast, 25 therms an hour.
00:06:23
Speaker
That's why I paid for an hour of parking.
00:06:26
Speaker
It hurts.
00:06:27
Speaker
It hurts.
00:06:27
Speaker
It's going to hurt me all day.
00:06:28
Speaker
I'm going to end up going out and spending.
00:06:30
Speaker
I spent more money on my breakfast.
00:06:33
Speaker
Quite a lot of money, actually.
00:06:34
Speaker
And but this this is just this feels bad.
00:06:37
Speaker
I don't know why.
00:06:38
Speaker
I just I don't I don't value it.
00:06:40
Speaker
Maybe what is this hurts more?
00:06:42
Speaker
It's just like this is robbery.
00:06:44
Speaker
This is like you taking away money just because I need to park somewhere.
00:06:48
Speaker
Because there is no other option, is there?
00:06:50
Speaker
If you go to downtown Dubai, what's your other option to park?
00:06:53
Speaker
Park in Dubai Mall and walk across?
00:06:55
Speaker
No way.
00:06:55
Speaker
Not in this heat.
00:06:57
Speaker
Not me.
00:06:58
Speaker
I'm too cool to sweat.
00:07:00
Speaker
I mean, I guess as an oxymoron, if I'm too cool to sweat, I should be able to walk across the street.
00:07:04
Speaker
But...
00:07:06
Speaker
You get my point, guys.
00:07:07
Speaker
You get my point.
00:07:08
Speaker
This is bullshit.
00:07:09
Speaker
This is absolute bullshit.
00:07:11
Speaker
Anyway, that's what's been going on with me, man.
00:07:14
Speaker
And then I walk in and you think, okay, I'm paying $25 an hour.
00:07:18
Speaker
You know what?
00:07:19
Speaker
Everything should be fancy.
00:07:20
Speaker
I think if you walk into a place, a space, which charges you that much just for parking...
00:07:26
Speaker
Everything else should be like super slick, super awesome.
00:07:30
Speaker
Like I should have the Starbucks should have had my cup should have been like set with diamond pieces on it or some shit like that.
00:07:39
Speaker
I should have been walking on like gold, not regular marble tie.
00:07:42
Speaker
That's bullshit.
00:07:43
Speaker
That's for the five there in parking areas.
00:07:46
Speaker
I want 25 there in an hour.
00:07:47
Speaker
I want that kind of stuff.
00:07:49
Speaker
I want I want girls and guys to dance while I walk in, you know, like
00:07:54
Speaker
Instead, what did I get?
00:07:55
Speaker
I walk in.
00:07:55
Speaker
I use the public toilet, right?
00:07:57
Speaker
I walk in and this guy follows me in and he goes to the urinal and the first thing he goes is like, oh.
00:08:07
Speaker
frozen there for a second.
00:08:08
Speaker
I'm like, dude, what are you doing in the urinal?
00:08:10
Speaker
You're here to pee, right?
00:08:11
Speaker
I hope you're peeing.
00:08:13
Speaker
I don't want to be in the same toilet.
00:08:14
Speaker
And these are fancy looking toys, but this guy just brought the fancy down a few notches, my friends.
00:08:20
Speaker
He just, he went, oh, and I'm like, oh, what?
00:08:23
Speaker
What are you doing?
00:08:24
Speaker
And I didn't want to look.
00:08:25
Speaker
And then he just, I guess he did his business.
00:08:27
Speaker
And then he walks over to the tap and starts going, oh, oh,
00:08:32
Speaker
and then starts blowing his nose and gargling.
00:08:34
Speaker
And I'm like, are you deliberately trying to like destroy the bathroom experience for everybody in this world?
00:08:42
Speaker
What's going on with you, man?
00:08:43
Speaker
He was so crass.
00:08:45
Speaker
I was like, I bet you didn't park in this space.
00:08:47
Speaker
I bet you parked across in Dubai mall and walked over.
00:08:51
Speaker
You're that kind of guy.
00:08:53
Speaker
You couldn't have, if you're affording 25 nums an hour, then life is just, this is bullshit.
00:08:58
Speaker
That's what I thought.
00:08:59
Speaker
This is bullshit.
00:09:01
Speaker
That was my experience, guys.
00:09:03
Speaker
Downtown Dubai.
00:09:04
Speaker
That's what happened to me today with the parking space and whatnot.
00:09:08
Speaker
I'm off.
00:09:10
Speaker
I can't.
00:09:11
Speaker
I think I've talked long enough.
00:09:12
Speaker
You know, my episodes are short, so it helps you guys.
00:09:15
Speaker
on the way to wherever you're going because everything is 10, 15 minutes apart anyway.
00:09:20
Speaker
Unless you're getting stuck in traffic, then you should listen to other people's podcasts, which are much longer, and go on and on and on.
00:09:26
Speaker
But this was my bit
Call for Support and Sponsorship
00:09:27
Speaker
for today.
00:09:27
Speaker
Now, remember, if this is the first time you're listening or you're a regular listener, thank you.
00:09:31
Speaker
Do share this.
00:09:32
Speaker
I'm on iTunes.
00:09:33
Speaker
I'm on a lot of...
00:09:35
Speaker
on every podcast outlet possible.
00:09:39
Speaker
So share the shit out of this, people.
00:09:41
Speaker
Spread the word.
00:09:42
Speaker
Tell people about this shit.
00:09:43
Speaker
Let them know what's going on.
00:09:45
Speaker
And at the same time, you'll find a link.
00:09:50
Speaker
It links up to this place where you can sponsor my podcast.
00:09:52
Speaker
It's as little as $2 a month.
00:09:55
Speaker
That's it.
00:09:56
Speaker
And you can cut off
00:09:57
Speaker
Anytime you want.
00:09:58
Speaker
But if you do subscribe, I'll be very thankful because it goes towards paying for the time I put into podcasts, do my comedy, do my other works.
00:10:07
Speaker
If you're supportive of arts, if you're a fan, please do hook me up with the $2 a month thing.
00:10:13
Speaker
It means you'll have three Pepsis less this month, but it might go towards covering my $25,000.
00:10:20
Speaker
parking.
00:10:21
Speaker
I got expensive taste, people.
00:10:23
Speaker
I got expensive taste.
00:10:24
Speaker
So help me cover that shit.
00:10:26
Speaker
Alright?
00:10:27
Speaker
Peace out.
00:10:28
Speaker
Thank you for listening.
00:10:29
Speaker
I'll catch you guys.