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Everything Is Broken Except My Willpower (Barely)
27 Plays24 days ago
You ever try not to lose your mind while on hold with some smug guy who says it'll take two weeks to replace a water heater? I tried. Barely made it. This episode is one long steam release — about service industry BS, ADHD spirals, the line between excuses and self-awareness, and why apologizing shouldn’t feel like giving away a kidney.
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Transcript
Water Heater Troubles
00:00:00
Speaker
Oh, I lost it today. I lost it. I woke up this morning and I see my water heater is broken again. All right. Now it's a water heater. There are a lot bigger problems going on in the world, but this is the second time it has happened in the last six months in this year.
00:00:18
Speaker
And i just go, how could it happen so soon again to me? And I didn't lose it immediately at that. That was just a problem. I was in that fuss this time because the The time it happened before it was February and obviously it was a bit cold and you really need the water heater.
00:00:35
Speaker
And I had my kid around, ah you know, he needs to get ready for school and I'll come back to how I was treated about that time.
Customer Service Challenges
00:00:42
Speaker
But this time, this time I just, ah I was kind of chilled out about it. I was like, OK, my kid is not in town right now.
00:00:49
Speaker
ah It's hot outside. i can manage a few days. So the guy comes in he looks at it He's like, it's, but you know, the technician comes, he goes, it's broken. And then I called them up. after I had to call them like five times to go, hey, I just need to know when you'll fix this.
00:01:07
Speaker
And I have to check on these guys because I know what happened last time. No one bothered calling me the whole day. so okay So I get through and this guy, um ah he's the one I...
00:01:19
Speaker
When I say I lost it, I lost it internally, like so from from the inside. i didn't really do much at my age. I try watching my blood pressure and I try not losing it.
00:01:32
Speaker
I've lived here long enough to kind of go, it's probably just not going to end well for me if I lose it So I've learned to really control any raid. So when I say I went Karen, I went like not Karen, like just ah that much. And so I called this guy up and and he goes, it's going to take two weeks.
00:01:53
Speaker
And I'm sitting there going, why will it take you two weeks to replace a water heater?
Escalating the Issue
00:01:59
Speaker
And he goes, um well, we don't have it in stock. And then I have flashbacks, you know, of the time it happened in February.
00:02:08
Speaker
And they said the exact same script. And I went, how come you guys don't have, this is broke. Since then, I've spoken to some of the neighbors and it keeps happening. So I'm like, why do you not have stock ah stored when this is a common problem?
00:02:21
Speaker
So I tell them, all right, look. Okay, I can't wait two weeks. That's ridiculous. Even because in two weeks, my kid is back, right? And I'm like, all right, how do we speed this up? What can I do to sort this out?
00:02:32
Speaker
i know't I know, know. I said, give me your manager's number. Let me speak to someone higher up to see how I can maybe pay a bit more or something to speed up this process.
00:02:43
Speaker
And he goes, here's a manager's number. I don't have his mobile. It's his landline. I'm like, okay, cool. Where does he sit? Maybe I can go see him. He goes, he's not in the community we live in. He sits in a different office. I'm like, okay, okay.
00:02:57
Speaker
Who's in charge here? And he names the developer. right And I'm like, no, I don't mean the developer. I mean, who's in charge? Like the person who's your, who's the supervisor?
00:03:08
Speaker
and he says there's another name of the second developer this is a the community i live in is like two developers that came together and i went no man i just want to know the person i can speak to and he's like you're speaking to me i'm like no at this point i'm just frustrated And I tell him, listen, ah just want to speak to your so supervisor.
00:03:30
Speaker
All right, just give me your supervisor. And he goes, this is his name. I'm like, all right, I need a way to contact him. He's like, I'm not allowed to give his mobile number. And I know I'm making an assumption, but at least I've lived here long enough. Again, I've i said this twice, but I my clocks ah like my brain's ticking
Managing Frustration and Health
00:03:50
Speaker
going.
00:03:50
Speaker
This is a common way to try to shield the manager. or He doesn't want to meet someone. And I'm like, all right, listen, where does he sit? I'll go see him. He sits in the community, right? He's like he sits. ah It's a place like five minutes from my apartment. I'm like, cool. I'll go see him. He's like, he won't be there.
00:04:08
Speaker
And I'm like, all right, if he's not there, where is he? That was my question. He's like, he's supposed to be there, but he's moving around the community, so you won't be able to catch him. All right. This is why I need the mobile number so I can find out where he is and we can have a chat.
00:04:23
Speaker
And he's like, I'm i'm not going to give you the mobile number. And I'm like, all right. Okay. Listen, this is the guy in charge. I need to find him.
00:04:33
Speaker
Can you get him to call me? Look at me. I'm such a good person. I'm looking for solutions. All right. So I'm like, maybe he can call me. He's like, yeah, he might take three, four hours, but most likely tomorrow.
00:04:46
Speaker
And I'm like, all right, man. Like now you are just like really trying to take me off. I don't know if I mentioned this earlier, but when I first told asked him how long and he said two weeks, and I was like, what am I supposed to do for two weeks?
00:04:59
Speaker
He goes, he says, um You'll just have to wait. And oh my God, like that is the equivalent of telling someone who's angry to just calm down.
00:05:13
Speaker
That's the best thing you can do. It's the worst thing you can do to someone is to say, calm down, my friend. and and i was that's how it started. i didn't lose my issue. At this point, I'm just like, dude, just just just get the guy to call me, please.
00:05:26
Speaker
I just want to speak to someone and really figure out what's going on. Because I also, unfortunately, you know having dealt with him a few times, They're not really honest all the time here.
Living with ADHD
00:05:36
Speaker
And this is a general problem with the service.
00:05:38
Speaker
Like I feel a lot of them try to shield and protect and not really just empathize with the person on the other line. it's It's the way they've been built or something. You know, I get these.
00:05:51
Speaker
ah It was so annoying though. And here I am now unable to get through to someone who can actually do something because they refuse to give out their phone numbers.
00:06:03
Speaker
And I'm just stuck having to deal with these guys in these situations. So that was my ah that was my day.
00:06:13
Speaker
It just, there are times when I haven't taken my ADHD pill and I don't like blaming everything on that, but there are days when I don't take it.
00:06:24
Speaker
There are days when I don't take because I'm thinking, you know what? I'm just at home. I can chill out and I can just do stuff. I can manage myself, my symptoms and stuff. I'm old enough. I'm experienced. I have enough tools and everything going on.
00:06:37
Speaker
And if I don't have like a million things on me, I'm fine. But I do find when I'm not on my ADHD pill, I lose my temper a little bit quicker because my mind's like racing over thoughts and everything. And I'm getting more angry and I'm making myself more angry. Right.
00:06:51
Speaker
So. So I just go, oh, it was one of those days when I needed the pill. ah And I say i don't like blaming everything on ADHD is because I have been worried ever since ever since I got ah diagnosed.
00:07:07
Speaker
I talked about it a lot of because it's such a revelation. Look, um I'm going to say this up front. If you don't have ADHD, just shut up. Right? You're not part of this conversation. If someone tells you they're ADHD, just give them some rope. all right just Just give them a little bit of like um a comfort. or you know they You don't have to be like super sympathetic, but just understand. all right just Just give them a little bit leeway sometimes.
00:07:35
Speaker
For all the rest of us who are actually ADHD or neurodivergent in some ways, my whole thing was always that I got, I i was a late diagnosis. So I got so far, ah should be able to get through my life.
00:07:52
Speaker
um I've got enough like support systems around. And I always worry that will I turn this into a label of excuses? And that is my biggest worry. or that Or the other part of it was that you ah the other part of it is that i i start thinking to myself that oh you know it's it's who i am and so it's an excuse for everything and i am adhd but i'm also a lot of other things and knowing something about myself i just kind of sat there and went well how do i how do i not turn this into like a um a thing about where i'm just talking about this aspect of me only
00:08:36
Speaker
And also, not just that though, to become ah that guy, you know, that guy who blames every situation that went wrong on the ADHD.
Service Accountability
00:08:48
Speaker
um It does have a big impact. I have seen a big difference in my life when I've learned to deal with it better or be conscious of it or or even just have medical support or other tools that I use around much more vigorous,
00:09:03
Speaker
vision which and lee No, that's not the word. we More carefully. I'm just going to go with that. It's one of those days. See, I'm not on my pill. I find myself finding words harder as well. Sometimes that might just be age anyway.
00:09:20
Speaker
um I got a scratchy throat suddenly. And I think it was because I was at the theater yesterday and we're sanding the stage and I had to run a workshop and and the guys they had hired for sanding didn't do it right.
00:09:35
Speaker
Oh my God, today is just about complaining about service. yeah And so it um so we so so I was there for three hours or so just inhaling it and I feel it now and I'm conscious and thinking that's what it was.
00:09:50
Speaker
Anywho, why am I going off on it? It's going off on a tangent. I just I just wish people would just get things done right and not fight about it. Look, mistakes happen.
00:10:01
Speaker
I make mistakes all the time. One of the things that really shocks me most, though, is the lack of people just apologizing. I know I over apologize and I could take away something from them.
00:10:15
Speaker
But I also feel like people don't apologize enough here, especially in the service sector. They just it it just reminds me this was years ago. I think service here maybe has gotten better in certain places.
00:10:29
Speaker
But I remember I was doing a customer service training and we're talking about, look, if a mistake has been made, we got to own it with the client and acknowledge it. And, you know, in case we have to say sorry or something, we should. It's up for debate. I was like I was just bringing up the conversation around ah we are ah the service agents are representative of the company.
00:10:51
Speaker
And I had this one person push back. saying, well, I didn't do it. So why should I apologize? i Oh, that's the um that's the mentality.
00:11:04
Speaker
And that has always made sense to me over the years. And I it stuck with me that memory because I'm like, oh, right. Yes. Why should they apologize? I don't know who's right or wrong. Maybe maybe they're right.
00:11:16
Speaker
Maybe they are. I don't know. But i I do know that is the attitude that exists here quite a bit. And so how do you teach these people to take ownership? Right. It's easy to blame others.
00:11:28
Speaker
And that maybe I've always been so conscious of it because my dad and my mom were particularly they drilled this thing into me about, you know, you got to take ownership of the stuff you've done.
00:11:38
Speaker
um and And I find it very hard ah because of my personality in spite of that. um But I push through it. Like I know no one wants to be the one taking the firing or being the one that is ah is the one having to solve the problem when they didn't do it. Even when you did do it.
00:11:59
Speaker
ah But yeah, like there's there's two ways you can have, two attitudes you can have about life and how you approach it. So God, I didn't mean to become preachy about this stuff, but it's it' so It's such a passionate thing for me. I don't know why.
00:12:15
Speaker
i maybe. ah Why does service bother? What's the I need to go to therapy and I need to find out, dig in. Why does therapy? what Why does service bad service bother me so much?
00:12:30
Speaker
um Why does it make me feel so bad? Why do I feel like um it makes takes away some kind of power for me? Maybe it's people.
00:12:42
Speaker
Maybe it's people playing like status game too often with these things and trying to, I don't know. I don't know what the reason is. All I know is that
Personal Growth and Self-Discipline
00:12:51
Speaker
it's a big, bad peeve of mine.
00:12:55
Speaker
And there are probably some deeper reasons that exist in my childhood. Maybe, I don't know. I don't know. It's, ah but I was i just going off on a tangent again, but service wise, i don't know. Where was I?
00:13:10
Speaker
was talking about, um, What was I talking about? It's a it's it's if I was on about my ADHD and I think there you go. I didn't take my meds.
00:13:21
Speaker
You're seeing this, ah you know, come apart at the seams in real time in front of you. This is what it looks like, like a million ideas and streaming off to other stuff and then going.
00:13:33
Speaker
What were we talking about, man? um It does happen less to me on meds. It's crazy. And it's really funny in some ways for me as well. So so I don't know.
00:13:44
Speaker
I just am always careful about kind of going, do I? Do I just lean into it? Because it's a it's kind of in your head, it's like a little seductive um idea, you know, like to go.
00:13:59
Speaker
um I'm not just Salman. I'm ADHD Salman.
00:14:06
Speaker
I couldn't even say it with a straight face, but that idea is so seductive that it's another person and personality who's separate from everything I've done and um I could develop into something else now. I think that kind of that kind of stuff sits in with me a little bit ah that maybe it's very easy to fall into that trap.
00:14:26
Speaker
And um And I think ah and it's all true. So all of the if you're ADHD, I'm not sitting here going dismiss it. But it's all true.
00:14:38
Speaker
But I think at the end of the day, the dishes need to be done. Right? And you need to get on with stuff. And you got to find out your coping mechanisms or however you want to do it.
00:14:51
Speaker
But it can't just become... an excuse now personally uh deep down inside another thing that i really hate is our system systems you know having to be confined to systems and i get that from a lot of people i don't know if it's just adhd people but a more wider thing i have other reasons why i know at the back of my mind too many rules and stuff bother me But um I've learned that if I'm not watching my systems and that could be budgets or Excel sheets or God, it's just saying that it's just that's the kind of stuff that doesn't make it to TikTok videos, right?
00:15:29
Speaker
No one is no one is making a video viral about your personal growth in how you stayed home and made a sandwich instead of eating out.
00:15:41
Speaker
That's not sexy. So I think that's why that part, the real stuff doesn't make it online. um But but it it's so essential. You got to have systems.
00:15:52
Speaker
You got to work out what makes you function better and not make excuses. I'm going end on that because it makes me sound like I'm super positive, especially when I started this episode being yeah talking about being angry and losing my self-control.
00:16:08
Speaker
All right. See you in the next episode.