Transcript
Speaker: I grew up confused about my culture and identity and felt out of place most of the time until I found comedy which forced me to be honest with myself and I realized mostly I'm just an expat brat.
Speaker: Welcome to my show.
Speaker: I'm Salman Qureshi.
Speaker: Hey, we're back and just back literally from the brink of war.
Speaker: In case you haven't noticed, there was another war about to erupt between India and Pakistan.
Speaker: And it's like season 74 of this shit going on.
Speaker: Oh, the same storyline.
Speaker: I mean, these guys don't even change the storyline.
Speaker: It gets a little boring.
Speaker: We're still fighting over Kashmir.
Speaker: We're still claiming their terrorists on the other side and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: And it's just, you know, what's worse about this time and age is the I get I get politicians trying to do this stuff, man.
Speaker: I'm just so annoyed with this stuff.
Speaker: I even say hi to you guys.
Speaker: I'm just jumping right in.
Speaker: OK, it's just because it bugs me and I need to vent.
Speaker: And this is what this is.
Speaker: It's the people who are pro-war.
Speaker: And it's just amplified now.
Speaker: I know the politicians do it.
Speaker: I know people do propaganda.
Speaker: But it's so in your face now because I can't avoid it.
Speaker: It's right there in WhatsApp groups, online, anywhere I go.
Speaker: And I read comments.
Speaker: And even the so-called balanced people want to make it about the other country.
Speaker: And they're subtle about it a lot more.
Speaker: but they'll still pass comments.
Speaker: And it's just, you know what?
Speaker: It's these uncles.
Speaker: They're my age.
Speaker: We're uncles now, all right?
Speaker: We're uncles.
Speaker: We got Bluetooth headsets.
Speaker: We got belly fat.
Speaker: And we're shouting, nuke them.
Speaker: You know, just nuke the other side.
Speaker: Dude, our diabetes need to be nuked.
Speaker: That's what...
Speaker: Like, bro, you're losing a fight with cholesterol.
Speaker: Like, just sit this out, all right?
Speaker: That's my problem with these people.
Speaker: They sit there, and they go on, and they've got these strategies, and they're egging people on.
Speaker: They're going, look what we did.
Speaker: We did.
Speaker: It's the same people.
Speaker: Like, they think it's some kind of sport.
Speaker: This is...
Speaker: They sit there and they just pretend like they did.
Speaker: They had something to do with it.
Speaker: You know, like they hacked into the other country's stuff.
Speaker: They built one of the bombs.
Speaker: They flew some shit.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: No, they're just sitting in the AC, sipping tea, chai, and retweeting Modi memes and like...
Speaker: Pakistani memes and stuff i gotta say i'm not biased but pakistan memes are a lot more funny much funnier and uh and that's what they do though there's no like sense of self just on like get them off twitter i can't get it i can't get myself to call it the other thing it's twitter for me forever twitter or bust right not that i'm on it anymore and it's just like
Speaker: Some of them are like, have no idea about anything.
Speaker: Till last week, they thought Gaza was like a spicy dip or something.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: And now they're like military strategists or experts and stuff.
Speaker: I had this one person put up.
Speaker: We need to teach them a lesson.
Speaker: And I swear, I swear to God, like a few weeks ago, he's telling me how it was hard for him to teach his son how to pee.
Speaker: This is an ironic.
Speaker: It's...
Speaker: you concentrate on teaching your kid how to pee not on how to teach a lesson to another country and stuff it's just oh god and then the ones who gloat and just go on about how it's like a I don't know it's like a cricket match and every strike is like a six or something it's
Speaker: And you just don't realize people are dying and their countries are getting screwed.
Speaker: And the only people who make money off this are rich people.
Speaker: War does not help the normal citizen.
Speaker: It just doesn't.
Speaker: It never has.
Speaker: It never has.
Speaker: It's...
Speaker: If they read stuff now, there's so much information.
Speaker: But how did they not come and read this kind of stuff?
Speaker: Like they just and then it's like this whole chat banner between Indians and Pakistanis, like with each other, like almost like, you know, telling each other, tell your army to chill.
Speaker: Like anyone has a say in it.
Speaker: I can't sort out my Wi-Fi.
Speaker: You think I'm going to get military clearance for this shit?
Speaker: The worst are obviously the channels, man.
Speaker: God, these anchors.
Speaker: They're the ones who bring this up.
Speaker: They're the ones who are really hiding this stuff.
Speaker: And they're talking about safety and screaming for war while they're...
Speaker: Got guys serving them drinks at the TV channel.
Speaker: They're getting well paid.
Speaker: They're getting more well paid after getting their ratings up because of this stuff.
Speaker: He's not on the front line.
Speaker: He dodged gym class in school.
Speaker: That's what I think these anchors did.
Speaker: They all did.
Speaker: And they want to talk about war.
Speaker: Like I feel like anyone, I think this should be a general law, a rule.
Speaker: You want to promote war.
Speaker: You want to support war.
Speaker: You want to say, let's go to war.
Speaker: You got to be on the front line.
Speaker: No one is allowed to say, let's go to war unless they are put on the front.
Speaker: It's an immediate front line thing.
Speaker: You got to go.
Speaker: You said you're... Oh, God.
Speaker: And then they labeled these things.
Speaker: I can't even remember what the Pakistani side was because this was like overdramatic.
Speaker: And then the Indian side was worse.
Speaker: It's called Operation Sindhu.
Speaker: Like, if you don't know what that means, that's just...
Speaker: thing they put on the bride on the it's like a red dot.
Speaker: I think that no, no, it's like this red thing you put on the front of your head.
Speaker: The women, the bride, the wife does.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And it's a mark of being married or something.
Speaker: But I just, the name, the name, it just sounds so Bollywood.
Speaker: Like India has just become too Bollywood.
Speaker: And now there's a ceasefire.
Speaker: That's my favorite bit.
Speaker: There's a ceasefire.
Speaker: So now all these people going at each other, especially the ones that live abroad next to Pakistani and Indian neighbors.
Speaker: Like if your neighbors from across, all this talk about like, it's time to stop supporting their celebrities and music and stuff.
Speaker: I just want to see that now.
Speaker: Like, what are you going to do now?
Speaker: Are you going to stick to your guns about it?
Speaker: Because the ceasefire happened much way too late.
Speaker: Luckily, it wasn't like the Palestinian issue, the war that's happened, the genocide happening there.
Speaker: But it was more like this whole buildup over two days, three days, and then it's like done.
Speaker: And you're like...
Speaker: Okay, so what do we do now?
Speaker: And people have said stuff, done stuff.
Speaker: Oh, just the craziness of it.
Speaker: You know, my uncle sent me this meme and I thought that was the funniest one I read about it.
Speaker: And he said, look, there's nothing.
Speaker: The meme basically was like talking about, look, there's nothing to worry about until America notifies people in your country to go.
Speaker: You need to leave the country.
Speaker: You need to be extracted.
Speaker: So as long as the U.S. doesn't do it, the U.S. knows it's not going to go to war.
Speaker: If the U.S. sends a notification to its citizen, that's when it's time to worry and run.
Speaker: And it's not so the way it was written was really funny.
Speaker: I didn't really convey it as the proper joke it is.
Speaker: But it was also just like it just was the right thing.
Speaker: It just meant the right thing.
Speaker: Anyway, this is a bizarre episode, isn't it?
Speaker: I just went off on started this thing.
Speaker: It's just been in my head, man.
Speaker: It's just been in my head.
Speaker: So I felt the need to kind of just talk about it.
Speaker: I've watched it for so long.
Speaker: It doesn't affect me anymore.
Speaker: In fact, I stay away from it.
Speaker: It doesn't bother me like it used to.
Speaker: It feels like a bad joke.
Speaker: It's these things.
Speaker: And then just the amount of wars that are erupting around.
Speaker: That's crazy.
Speaker: I know it's nothing like before.
Speaker: I know statistically we're nowhere near 100 years ago or something where everybody was at war or something.
Speaker: But I did not think...
Speaker: That... I'll just... Just one last thing about... Trump takes the credit for it.
Speaker: I mean... As if things weren't bad enough.
Speaker: Ha ha ha.
Speaker: I feel like that was the worst.
Speaker: I know there are innocent people, innocent people that lost lives.
Speaker: That's the worst of it.
Speaker: But after that, after that, you got to admit, Trump taking credit for it.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: I like how it pissed off India more.
Speaker: Pakistan is just like, cool, we'll take it.
Speaker: India, I think because they want to act like a superpower, they kind of go, no, no, no.
Speaker: We mediated ourselves.
Speaker: We handled this.
Speaker: But it wasn't, was it?
Speaker: It was a call from the U.S. going, all right, you two.
Speaker: Like shutting two siblings up and shit.
Speaker: That's what we are.
Speaker: Just siblings, cousins, same shit all over.
Speaker: That's the fun stuff that happened.
Speaker: On a personal level, not much.
Speaker: I've just been doing my stuff, watching too much TV.
Speaker: I finished Monk and now I'm on House.
Speaker: Don't love it as much as Monk, but I think House is... Both these shows, I didn't watch them when they first came out.
Speaker: I'm watching them years later and there's this joy...
Speaker: of getting to watch a show which has several seasons all out there, all done.
Speaker: No waiting, no having to wait for the next year, not having to load up different things and different streaming services.
Speaker: It's all there.
Speaker: It's done.
Speaker: It's ready.
Speaker: There are multiple seasons.
Speaker: It's brilliant.
Speaker: It is the most joyful thing I could.
Speaker: What I'm excited, I've got some shows lined up.
Speaker: I've been doing a lot.
Speaker: I've shifted more back to doing some improv shows lately.
Speaker: And I've had some great performers and friends pass through in Dubai.
Speaker: And it's been great, man.
Speaker: It's Sean McKinley, if you don't know him.
Speaker: He was passing through.
Speaker: Did I say his name wrong?
Speaker: I just called him a friend and went, I don't know how his, what his, sorry, I did.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: His last name is Sean Kinsley.
Speaker: Sean Kinsley.
Speaker: No, even that's wrong.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: I'm just digging a hole now.
Speaker: Wait, I'm going to, while we're on here, you know, his last name has always kind of bothered me.
Speaker: Actually, I'm not just Sean Kinsley.
Speaker: Sean Kinsley.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Why did I say McKin?
Speaker: Sean, if you ever listen to this, I know your name, but I just have Alzheimer's or something.
Speaker: The early onset.
Speaker: Or I just have a special kind of disease.
Speaker: I genuinely think I have a name problem.
Speaker: Like I will know people's names.
Speaker: and then blank out.
Speaker: I think I've spoken about this before.
Speaker: So whatever this is, if I forget your name, tough, man.
Speaker: It's just a disease, all right?
Speaker: Don't take it personal.
Speaker: And Felipe, don't ask me his last name.
Speaker: They're friends.
Speaker: So many of my friends, I don't know their last name, which is a shame.
Speaker: Anyway, they're both great performers.
Speaker: Sean's from Canada.
Speaker: He was here, and I got to learn a lot by performing with him and just refreshing.
Speaker: He is a...
Speaker: He's an enigmatic, charismatic, like he is just an amazing person to be around, both as a performer, as a teacher, as a friend.
Speaker: I just felt so, you know, great after just hanging out with him and I wish I had more time.
Speaker: And tonight and the next few days, I'm performing with Felipe because Sean's left and Felipe's from Colombia.
Speaker: He runs his own circus.
Speaker: He's one of the most funniest and brilliant improvisers I've ever seen.
Speaker: I love being on stage with him, watching him.
Speaker: He's just so great that way.
Speaker: And I consider him a good friend too, you know.
Speaker: Again, someone I learn a lot just by being around, you know,
Speaker: So I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker: So it's been a bit of a blessing at the improv theater to have this stuff.
Speaker: That's what's going on with me.
Speaker: And, you know, I think I think if you haven't if you do live in Dubai, you haven't been out.
Speaker: If you've been listening to my podcast, you haven't been to the Courtyard Playhouse to watch an improv show.
Speaker: What is going on with you?
Speaker: Why are you listening to this then?
Speaker: And he totally should be in there.
Speaker: That's what I'm going to leave you on.
Speaker: I'm keeping this episode short.
Speaker: I'm going to do a few shorter episodes for the next few bits just because other things are really hectic.
Speaker: But yeah, let me know if you've never watched the show and why.
Speaker: And when will you do it then?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So thank God.
Speaker: We're all at peace again.
Speaker: Well, at least my part of the world.
Speaker: And I hope if you're from a place where things are bad, I hope they sort themselves out soon.
Speaker: Chill out and come watch a show.
Speaker: Take care.
Speaker: I'll catch you in the next episode.
Speaker: Thanks for joining us on another adventure with the expat Brad.
Speaker: proudly brought to you by capra productions if you enjoyed the show please help us keep the mic running by clicking the link in the description and dropping as little as three dollars to support us don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on our latest episodes
