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Breaking Free From People Pleasing
21 Plays2 years ago
Remember, it's okay to bring joy and happiness to others' lives, as long as it doesn't come at the expense of your own well-being or compromise your authentic self. By practicing self-awareness, setting boundaries, and maintaining authenticity, you can engage in positive acts of pleasing others while staying true to yourself.
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Transcript
Introduction to Mixing It Up Podcast
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What's up fam?
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Through self-development and spiritual growth, take the next step in life, love, and your leadership through the Mixing It Up podcast with your host, Sylvester Mixon.
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Hey, let's get ready to get empowered.
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What's up?
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What's up, great people?
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Welcome to another empowering episode of Mixing It Up.
The Impact of People Pleasing on Growth
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Man, we're going to deep dive today into this idea of people pleasing and how it can hinder our true potential and connection with God.
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I don't know if you've ever found yourself before becoming obsessed with what others think of you.
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I think too often so many of us struggle in life and struggle to be our best self and contribute to the highest level of human flourishing that we could because we're trying to make everybody happy with us.
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We're trying to make everybody like us.
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We want everybody to like us.
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We want everybody to be happy with us.
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And the truth is we've all been there.
Finding Identity in Spirituality
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Where we've sought, you know, affirmation from those around us instead of focusing on the opinion that truly matters.
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And that's who you view yourself as and truly who God says that you are.
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You know, as a people of faith, as a people of purpose, we know that our identity is found in Jesus.
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We know that our identity is found in almighty God and that we have a higher purpose and a reason for being here.
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But it's so easy to lose sight of that, especially when you're trying to please a lot of
Distractions from True Calling
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people.
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You find yourself doing everything instead of the main things that add the best value to your life and contribute the most to human flourishing.
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So today I thought it not robbery to take a moment to reflect yourself.
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on this need or this disease to please as it were.
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Let's take a moment to reflect on the word become or the Greek word, which is translated to be become.
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It is a transitional word, which means to take place or change, to be in motion, to bring to manifestation.
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Sometimes we become so fixated on being understood by others that we forget God's purpose for us.
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You know, Jesus himself experienced this same thing when he was misunderstood and rejected by his own people.
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The Bible says that he came unto his own and his own received him not.
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But it was through these challenges that he ultimately fulfilled God's purpose for his life.
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He had to be willing to be misunderstood for a season, right, to ultimately be his best self and contribute to human flourishing.
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You see, whenever God is shifting us, changing us, growing us, he may allow you in some seasons or spaces or places to face rejection in one place so that you can get direction for your greater purpose.
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I always tell the church this.
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You guys know I'm a pastor and a man of faith is that rejection is often selection.
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is that the Lord will get you out of the wrong hands and get you into the right hands.
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You've got to remember that is that everybody is not your people and not your tribe.
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Amen.
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And so you've got to lock in.
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All right.
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And so it's important to remember that God will deal with your desire to be understood.
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The good book reminds us in Jeremiah 29 11.
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I know the thoughts that I think towards you.
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Now, this is God.
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Thoughts of good, not of evil, but to give you hope and an expected end.
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You see, he sees our struggle and knows exactly how to guide us.
Warning Signs of People Pleasing
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So let's explore four warning signs that indicate we may be striving for the approval of others.
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Number one, when you obsess about what others think.
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I mean, when you become consumed in your head about what others think about you, when we constantly worry about others' opinions, we lose sight of our true worth and value.
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Number two, being overly sensitive to criticism.
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Criticism can be...
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Powerful on our emotions, but it's crucial to remember that our worth isn't determined by what others say.
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Like the world is not over because someone doesn't like you or because they have a critical opinion of you.
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Right.
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You've got to know who you are.
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Number three, avoiding conflict.
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People pleasers are often those who avoid conflict to maintain approval.
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But true growth, y'all, true growth comes from healthy confrontation and resolution.
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Right.
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Like you got to have that hard talk.
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Number four, having a hard time saying no.
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This is a big one.
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When we struggle with this no, man, we suspect our lives to so many boundary violations.
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When we put others needs before our own, sometimes it may seem selfless and sometimes it may be.
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But it can also lead to burnout when it's not done right or self neglect.
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This can lead you to a dangerous place mentally and emotionally.
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So learning to set boundaries is essential.
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Hear me.
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Boundaries are your friend.
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Boundaries are your friend.
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So you may be saying, OK, OK.
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All right.
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So then how do I break free from the grip of toxic people pleasing from this disease to please, as it were, Sylvester?
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Here are some empowering steps to consider.
Steps to Overcome People Pleasing
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All right.
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Here are four things I want to give you that will help you to conquer this disease to please.
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Number one, learn your identity and your worth like you are valuable.
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You are somebody special.
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You rock.
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Come on now.
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You the bomb dot com.
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You are five five.
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All of that.
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You got to know that.
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Right.
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Understanding your value will diminish the need for external validation.
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Right.
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And so you're not just sitting around waiting on everyone to pour into you identity or value.
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No, you have that value from within.
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Right.
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There's a passage in the scriptures in third John two, verse one says God wishes that we prosper even as our soul prospers.
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And I like to say blessed on the inside equals blessed on the outside.
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You have to recognize that your desires and your needs matter.
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That you matter.
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Say this with me.
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I am necessary.
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Come on.
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Come on.
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Let me hear you.
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I am necessary.
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Right.
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Number two, focus on your values and goals.
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So establish a clear sense of what truly matters to you.
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And then you want to make decisions that align with your values and your aspirations.
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Values help to give vision for your victory.
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Values help to give vision for your victory.
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You're going to live a victorious life.
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There has to be some values that you build and govern your life around.
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These set of guiding principles and morals as as a as a Bible believing people.
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The Bible is a clear.
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A guide to setting values.
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Right.
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You want to establish what truly matters to you.
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And it is from this place that you will make decisions.
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Right.
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You're going to be an honorable person.
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You're going to be a person that walks in integrity.
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That's your value.
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A person that has healthy conflict.
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That's a value.
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Then you want to make your decisions out of those values.
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Number three, set healthy boundaries.
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Listen, the way that you protect your well-being and fight against burnout.
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And self neglect is by setting limits on what you're willing to do.
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for others yeah you've got to set some limits and some boundaries you got to know what you will say yes to and what you will say no to you got to know what you will do and what you won't do this is very very important what violates your values your goals what is what violates your boundaries you have to know this and you want to get clear on this before you get into situations that could potentially compromise this so say no when necessary
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And prioritize self-care because you can't be best for others if you're not best for you.
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You can't be good for others if you're not good to you.
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Prioritize self-care.
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And then fourth and finally, practice self-compassion.
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Treat yourself with kindness, acknowledging that mistakes are a part of your journey.
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And you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love and acceptance.
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Acknowledge that sometimes I'm going to miss it, but I'm going to doggone get back up and I'm going to keep at it until I be the best person that I that till I become the best person that I could possibly be.
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And so you
Embracing Authenticity and Purpose
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don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love and acceptance.
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You are love.
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You matter.
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You are necessary.
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Lock in.
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Come on.
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Remember this, breaking free from people pleasing, it's going to be an ongoing process.
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So you need to spend time developing health and balance of listening and sharing in your relationships.
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You want to have a healthy balance of listening and sharing your relationships.
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Embrace your authentic self.
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Pursue God's purpose for your life and live a healthy, fulfilling and empowered existence.
Conclusion and Call to Action
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Well, thank you for joining us on this transformative episode.
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Don't forget to subscribe and share this empowering message with others who may need to break free from the chains of people pleasing this disease to please.
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Hey, y'all stay tuned for more inspiring content on the mixing it up podcast.
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I'm Sylvester Mixon and this is mixing it up.
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Hey, I'm Sylvester Mixon.
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You've been listening to mixing it up.
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Win big today.