Transcript
Speaker: What's up, fam?
Speaker: Through self-development and spiritual growth, take the next step in life, love, and your leadership through the Mixing It Up podcast with your host, Sylvester Mixon.
Speaker: Hey, let's get ready to get empowered.
Speaker: It's time to believe in you.
Speaker: Imagine you're on the edge of a diving board, high above the water, and you see others diving gracefully, creating minimal splashes and emerging with a triumphant smile.
Speaker: Yet there you stand with your toes gripping on the edge, heart pumping and pounding, questioning if you should take that same leap.
Speaker: It's no secret, my children love to swim, and man, this is totally them.
Speaker: I mean...
Speaker: just bouncing off that diving board, jumping off the side of the pool, backflipping in there, having a time.
Speaker: Me, on the other hand, I'm kind of either sitting on the edge, got my toes in, or on the shallow end of the pool, just kind of hanging out.
Speaker: And much of that, I believe, is contributed to my lack of confidence in...
Speaker: my ability to swim.
Speaker: I can't swim.
Speaker: I remember years ago as a young boy, my cousin pushed me over into the deep end.
Speaker: And I mean, I sank like an anchor, y'all.
Speaker: Like I hit bottom, right?
Speaker: And some kid came in and got me just in time.
Speaker: And I made it away, of course, with my life.
Speaker: And I think that from that experience and one or two others, I've never had confidence fully in instructors or just me being in that water itself.
Speaker: This moment is literally a metaphor for the daily battles many of us face with confidence.
Speaker: Like the only way to know if you can do it is to dive in.
Speaker: Now y'all pray for me because I got to get to the place to where I just
Speaker: dive in or I got to get some lessons first and then dive in.
Speaker: You know, confidence is like Wi-Fi.
Speaker: My mentor said confidence is the byproduct of inside information.
Speaker: Like it's the result of information that you have built up, experienced, tried out and learned over time.
Speaker: And so you're confident.
Speaker: right?
Speaker: We often lack confidence in things that we don't know much about, things that we fear.
Speaker: We fear those things that we don't understand.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Uh, but confidence is that inside knowing that inner knowing about a thing, um, that causes you to move with a different swagger, causes you to have a different, uh, type of resilience, a different type of go-getter, um, a more of a risk taking ability.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: That confidence gives you more faith, more hope to do a thing.
Speaker: But confidence is like Wi-Fi.
Speaker: Some people seem to have a strong signal while others are constantly searching for a connection.
Speaker: And let's be real, y'all.
Speaker: We've all had those days where our confidence signal is weaker than the Wi-Fi in a backwood coffee shop.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Well, welcome to Mixing Up.
Speaker: I'm your host, Bishop Mixon.
Speaker: And today we're going to deep dive into the world of confidence.
Speaker: Confidence isn't just about public speaking or strutting your stuff on the runway.
Speaker: It's the quiet belief in your own abilities, the courage to pursue your dreams, the resilience to bounce back from setbacks, and
Speaker: And in this episode, we're really going to explore the greatest struggles that many people face with confidence and then some practical ways to overcome it.
Speaker: And why do we do this?
Speaker: We often feel like sameness is going to get us accepted when oftentimes sameness gets us neglected.
Speaker: So be yourself.
Speaker: Nobody can beat you at being you.
Speaker: According to a study by the University of Melbourne,
Speaker: People who are confident actually earn higher wages and are promoted more quickly.
Speaker: You know, confidence isn't just a feel good emotion.
Speaker: It's the key ingredient for success.
Speaker: Yet a lot of people struggle to grab hold of it or to really manifest that confidence.
Speaker: And you may be asking why, because confidence is much like a muscle.
Speaker: Like it needs regular exercise and nurturing in order for that confidence to grow.
Speaker: A lot of times some of the greatest struggles that we face are like imposter syndrome.
Speaker: You know, a lot of people feel like they are just one step away from being exposed as a fraud, that no matter how successful they are, they feel like they are just one situational way of being
Speaker: being exposed or being this failure.
Speaker: You know, even the great Mangelo said, I've written 11 books, but each time I think, uh-oh, they're going to find out now.
Speaker: I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: We're always worried that we're not good enough, you know, or that people are going to find out our weaknesses in some kind of way.
Speaker: We're just going to come tumbling down.
Speaker: There's that that that imposter syndrome.
Speaker: But then there's that cultural comparison.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: In our social media driven world, it's so easy to fall into that trap of comparing our behind the scenes with somebody else's highlight reel.
Speaker: Theodore Roosevelt said comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker: Like if you want to really lose your joy and fall into a depression, then spend your time, your days comparing yourself to other people.
Speaker: You know, there's a passage in Scripture in 1 Corinthians 3 where the Apostle Paul says it is unwise to compare ourselves to others because that comparison will literally drain your energy, your creativity, your drive and keep you from being the best you that you can be.
Speaker: But but not only is there imposter syndrome comparison culture, but there's a fear of failure.
Speaker: A lot of folks I talk to so many people who fear making mistakes, you know, especially new believers who are getting just just gotten saved.
Speaker: They fear this idea of, oh, I'm.
Speaker: I'm going to fail and God's not going to love me anymore.
Speaker: God can't use me.
Speaker: And nothing can be further from the truth.
Speaker: The whole process of salvation is a process of sanctification.
Speaker: So it's step by step, day by day, becoming more and more like Christ.
Speaker: But fear of making mistakes and failing can paralyze you.
Speaker: Like Thomas Edison said, he said, I've not failed.
Speaker: I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Speaker: I love that kind of reminds me of John Maxwell when he talks about when you fail, fail forward.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like failing forward is an ingredient for success.
Speaker: It's like you've got to you've got to fall into growth.
Speaker: You've got to keep going.
Speaker: We have to remember that every failure is a stepping stone to success.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And so then you may be saying, well, how in the world am I going to overcome my confidence struggles?
Speaker: Like maybe you found yourself in one of those three right there that you're either in the comparison culture, you're fear and failure, or you feel like in many ways, deep down inside, you're this imposter that's going to be found out and no one's going to like you.
Speaker: So how do we do that?
Speaker: here's the first thing you've got to do.
Speaker: You've got to do this.
Speaker: And I've had to learn to do this over the years, especially, get this y'all, with every new level of success, with every new open door and opportunity.
Speaker: I mentored a couple of people here recently
Speaker: And some of their concerns are, you know, fears of failure, fear of not being good enough after entering into a new room.
Speaker: And one of the things that I was sharing with them is that with every new room, it is an opportunity to grow.
Speaker: But you've got to understand with new rooms, you don't go into every new room as a 10 in that room.
Speaker: I think it was T.D.
Speaker: Jakes that said levels are just like one to 10 and then 10 to 11 to 20 and 20 to 30.
Speaker: And so in order for you to be on the next level.
Speaker: You may have been a 10 on this last level, but in order for you to be on the next level, you gotta be 11, which means you gotta be one again.
Speaker: And you have to be okay with moving into this new season as a student, moving into this new season as a learner, moving into this new season, you know, not knowing everything.
Speaker: Not being the highest in your class, not being the biggest gift, not being the most talented, but you are okay that, hey, yeah, I mastered level one and I was a 10 there.
Speaker: I was the top of the game.
Speaker: But now, hey, I'm in learning mode again.
Speaker: And that's okay.
Speaker: Find a mentor, get in some books, take some classes, listen to some podcasts, get connected into godly community, you know, grow.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Craig Rochelle said you can have comfort.
Speaker: You can have growth, but you can't have both.
Speaker: And so the first thing I want to tell you is embrace your uniqueness.
Speaker: Embrace your uniqueness.
Speaker: There is so much power in your difference.
Speaker: Like so many people lack confidence.
Speaker: And so we spend so much time trying to be the same that there's no differentiation.
Speaker: And so people don't know what do you bring to the table?
Speaker: You know, what is your unique gift things, your abilities, what separates you from everybody else?
Speaker: So the first thing that you got to do, if you're going to overcome a lack of confidence, if you're going to really be able to believe in yourself,
Speaker: then you've got to embrace your uniqueness.
Speaker: Confidence comes from embracing who you are.
Speaker: Listen, flaws and all.
Speaker: Oscar Wilde put it like this.
Speaker: He said, be yourself.
Speaker: Everybody else is taken.
Speaker: So your unique combination of experiences, your skills, even your perspectives is what makes you valuable.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And so what you want to do is invest time in self-awareness.
Speaker: Learn you.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You can do that through gifts test, personality test, skills assessment.
Speaker: Take the time to do that.
Speaker: Journal.
Speaker: Discover your hobbies, the things that you enjoy.
Speaker: It's so important that you become acquainted with you.
Speaker: I am afraid that in this busy day that we live in, everybody's schedules and routines are just, you know, flying 90 to nothing.
Speaker: We don't make time to really slow down, enjoy life, enjoy the moments, find out what we really like, who we really are, you know, meditate, get to know you, reflect.
Speaker: I think those things are very, very important.
Speaker: The second thing I would tell you is set small but achievable goals.
Speaker: Like confidence builds with each small victory.
Speaker: I remember one of my mentors invited me to this business club in
Speaker: In this club were millionaires everywhere.
Speaker: And after a while, I got a little bit intimidated about this room I was in, especially when they went to talking about their monthly and yearly earnings.
Speaker: I was thinking, man, why am I in this room?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And right.
Speaker: The room had gotten so big, but I remembered something that a mentor once told me.
Speaker: If you are in the room, if they've given you a seat at the table, it's because you're supposed to be there.
Speaker: You may not be the 10 in that room.
Speaker: This may be the room that you've got to be on one again, learn, have a notebook, a pad out, some questions locked and loaded already.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Some things that you've you've thought through that you want to get them to sift through and critique.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And and grow and grow.
Speaker: Because watch this.
Speaker: This is your chance to to to level up a thousand times better in a room like that.
Speaker: And so I quickly began to get out of that mode and remind myself, no, I'm supposed to be here.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So confidence builds with every small victory that for me, that was a small victory that brought a big reward.
Speaker: And it really added mass value to my life to push me into big rooms that I would normally shy away from, be intimidated, go in, not talk to nobody.
Speaker: Whereas now.
Speaker: I'm going in every room trying to find somebody to talk to and build relationship.
Speaker: And hear me, I'm not perfect at this.
Speaker: I'm still growing.
Speaker: But if you're going to grow, the first thing is you got to embrace that you are special.
Speaker: You are unique, right?
Speaker: You are somebody.
Speaker: You're gifted.
Speaker: You're talented.
Speaker: You're called.
Speaker: Embrace that.
Speaker: But number two, set small and achievable goals.
Speaker: Start with achievable goals.
Speaker: And as you conquer them, your confidence is going to grow.
Speaker: Think of it like stacking blocks.
Speaker: Each small success is a block that builds a tower of confidence.
Speaker: Number three, positive self-talk.
Speaker: I can't think of the guy's name, but he's on social media.
Speaker: Talk that talk.
Speaker: Talk that talk.
Speaker: Talk that talk.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: You see, the way that you talk to yourself matters.
Speaker: The Bible tells us in Proverbs 18, 19, death and life are in the power of your tongue.
Speaker: And those who love it will eat the fruit thereof.
Speaker: What are you saying?
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: What kind of talk you talking?
Speaker: Because negative self-talk will ensure that you stay bound, behind, and broken.
Speaker: But positive self-talk will propel you into new heights of success.
Speaker: You've got to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
Speaker: You start off your day by saying, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Speaker: Greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world.
Speaker: I am more than a conqueror.
Speaker: Let the weak say, I am strong.
Speaker: Let the poor say I am rich.
Speaker: You got to tell yourself, I can do this.
Speaker: I am capable.
Speaker: I am prepared for this.
Speaker: I'm anointed for this.
Speaker: I'm called for this.
Speaker: Positive self-talk.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Start every day with that.
Speaker: Some positive affirmations that encourage your spirit.
Speaker: Number four, surround yourself with positive people.
Speaker: Jim Rohn famously said, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Speaker: And so if your five people are all broken and broke down and beat down, you're the average of that group.
Speaker: You gotta surround yourself with those folks who uplift and encourage you.
Speaker: It's their positive energy that's gonna help boost your confidence.
Speaker: You wanna surround yourself with shakers and movers and people who are hungry and tenacious and relentless that I'm going to reach my destiny.
Speaker: And watch this, if you get around folks like that,
Speaker: That hunger on them gets contagious on you.
Speaker: You want to build the kind of community and be in the kind of community that's hungry, that that's excellent, that wants better.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And then number five, practice meditation.
Speaker: Practice the times of prayer.
Speaker: Meditation will help you stay present.
Speaker: It's going to reduce the anxiety that undermines your confidence.
Speaker: And it's going to give you a deeper connection with the God that created you, right?
Speaker: One of the things that gives us confidence is a connection with the Creator.
Speaker: Not just connection with the creation, but connection with the creator, your most highest self.
Speaker: See, this allows you now to love God, love yourself, love others in a healthy way.
Speaker: You treat yourself with kindness.
Speaker: You treat others with kindness, especially during tough times.
Speaker: You're not so hard on yourself.
Speaker: because you are practicing mindfulness and prayer and self-compassion.
Speaker: You got to do this, right?
Speaker: You got to remember that you are a work in progress.
Speaker: And hear me, you're going to get there.
Speaker: You're going to get there step by step because you're going to embrace your uniqueness, that you're special.
Speaker: You're going to set small goals.
Speaker: You're going to have positive self-talk.
Speaker: You're going to surround yourself with supportive people.
Speaker: And you're going to practice mindfulness, compassion, and prayer.
Speaker: You're going to remember that you are a work in progress.
Speaker: And that's okay.
Speaker: Keep growing, my friend.
Speaker: You got this.
Speaker: You got this, man.
Speaker: Come on, girl.
Speaker: You got this.
Speaker: Hey, and I'm proud of you.
Speaker: And I want you to be proud of you too.
Speaker: You've come a long way.
Speaker: Keep going.
Speaker: Keep going.
Speaker: Think of it, of confidence as a garden.
Speaker: It needs planning, setting intentions,
Speaker: Watering, positive action.
Speaker: Sunlight, support from others.
Speaker: Pruning, removing negativity.
Speaker: With time and care, it blossoms into something beautiful.
Speaker: Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right.
Speaker: Confidence starts with belief.
Speaker: Believe in yourself and watch your world transform.
Speaker: I'm Sylvester Mixon and this is Mixing It Up.
Speaker: Hey, I'm Sylvester Mixon.
Speaker: You've been listening to Mixing It Up.
Speaker: Win big today.
