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Dictator for Hire
12 Plays3 years ago
Salman soliloquizes on protests around the world, young people, and how to run a successful dictatorship.
Catch Salman at live shows by following him on instagram to see all upcoming dates - @salmanzq
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Transcript
Introduction to Expat Rap Podcast
00:00:10
Speaker
Hey everyone, it's Amon Tureishi.
00:00:11
Speaker
You're listening to the Expat Rap Podcast.
00:00:13
Speaker
Welcome.
00:00:14
Speaker
Welcome back if you've been listening to the podcast and following it and showing it so much love.
00:00:20
Speaker
And welcome if it's your first time here.
00:00:24
Speaker
Welcome to my world.
00:00:26
Speaker
This is a crazy world.
00:00:27
Speaker
This is where things are happening.
00:00:29
Speaker
It's so happening that I hardly get time to get back in.
00:00:33
Speaker
It's happening like the metaverse on...
Metaverse vs. Google Plus - A Comparison
00:00:38
Speaker
By Facebook.
00:00:40
Speaker
I don't think a lot of people are following it.
00:00:42
Speaker
It's the is there equivalent of what was it?
00:00:46
Speaker
What was that Google started that social app like they basically just copied Facebook at that time?
00:00:53
Speaker
Was it Google Plus?
00:00:56
Speaker
I can't even remember the name.
00:00:57
Speaker
That's how quickly it died.
00:01:00
Speaker
It was in competition with Facebook and the whole idea.
00:01:05
Speaker
But there was nothing new about it, right?
00:01:07
Speaker
So they basically copied the whole thing.
00:01:09
Speaker
I don't even know whether any of the young generation remembers it.
00:01:12
Speaker
And they...
00:01:14
Speaker
They invited people over, you made a profile, and then no one really wrote anything on it.
00:01:20
Speaker
I tried a couple of times reposting everything I was putting on Facebook on there,
Wealth and Isolation: Zuckerberg's Financial Resilience
00:01:25
Speaker
but everyone just left it.
00:01:26
Speaker
And then it was like an abandoned town.
00:01:30
Speaker
And apparently that's what's happened to the meta world that Facebook was trying to push or rather Mark Zuckerberg.
00:01:41
Speaker
This is why you shouldn't have millionaires.
00:01:45
Speaker
No, sorry, billion people with billions.
00:01:48
Speaker
Yeah, I can't believe anyone can stay sane with so much money and so much power.
00:01:56
Speaker
All right.
00:01:58
Speaker
You're going to just think you're God at that point.
00:02:02
Speaker
And that's not good.
00:02:03
Speaker
Right.
00:02:03
Speaker
That's not going to be good for anybody, especially for yourself, because you think I can do anything right now.
00:02:09
Speaker
And that whole thing is crazy as an idea that human beings can do whatever they want and so on, so forth.
00:02:16
Speaker
So this guy, because what happens, right, is you're that big.
00:02:21
Speaker
The bigger you get, the more you're surrounded by yes men because all they want to do is keep you happy and they'll say yes to everything you do.
00:02:30
Speaker
They won't challenge you because they don't want to be thrown out of the gravy train.
00:02:35
Speaker
And so, you know, they'll go along with anything you want as long as they can kind of get their cut.
00:02:41
Speaker
Right.
00:02:42
Speaker
And that's great.
00:02:43
Speaker
So I am looking forward to being like that one day.
00:02:46
Speaker
Like I'd like to experience that power before I die and have people surround me with yes.
00:02:51
Speaker
I don't have a problem living through it, but obviously it'll probably be to the detriment of my eventual career and legacy as is happening to a number of rich people right now.
00:03:05
Speaker
Right.
00:03:05
Speaker
There was a meme I saw that kind of probably caught it correctly.
Public Perception of Elon Musk: From Innovator to Villain?
00:03:09
Speaker
And it was on Elon Musk.
00:03:11
Speaker
And it said 2016 how I saw Elon versus now.
00:03:16
Speaker
And it was from the pictures from the Iron Man movie where in 2016 I saw him as Iron Man.
00:03:24
Speaker
And now it's actually the villain from the movie.
00:03:27
Speaker
It's this geeky character.
00:03:28
Speaker
I can't remember the name, but the villain basically.
00:03:31
Speaker
And I'm like, yeah, that's exactly what's happened.
00:03:34
Speaker
And oh, please do not quote that Batman phrase.
00:03:37
Speaker
I just, I want to kill the next person who does it.
00:03:40
Speaker
You know the one I'm talking about, the you live long enough, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:03:44
Speaker
Anywho, that's what's going on.
00:03:46
Speaker
Rich people making loads of mistakes, but they can afford to.
Financial Impact: Billionaire Losses vs. Everyday Concerns
00:03:49
Speaker
While, because can you imagine this Facebook thing?
00:03:53
Speaker
He dropped, what was it, like $15 billion?
00:03:57
Speaker
Like they wiped out from his stock and everything because of Facebook's performance and this whole Metta World thing.
00:04:04
Speaker
And he's good.
00:04:05
Speaker
He's still got more billions stacked up.
00:04:09
Speaker
That's insane.
00:04:11
Speaker
I lose $15 dirhams from my wallet.
00:04:17
Speaker
I will be looking for it all day.
00:04:19
Speaker
I'll be like, where the hell did that shit go?
00:04:22
Speaker
Because I need to buy myself a meal.
00:04:24
Speaker
All right.
00:04:25
Speaker
So that's it.
00:04:28
Speaker
Okay.
00:04:28
Speaker
So, you know, thankfully, I'm not desperate.
00:04:30
Speaker
But you would think you'd feel it.
00:04:34
Speaker
All right.
00:04:35
Speaker
And he probably feels it.
00:04:36
Speaker
But I think at his level, it's more of an ego thing.
00:04:39
Speaker
You know, it's like I didn't succeed and I lost this.
00:04:42
Speaker
I don't think it's a worry entirely about the money thing.
00:04:45
Speaker
You know, at that point, this money just probably is beyond comprehension.
00:04:51
Speaker
And that's a weird place to live, guys.
00:04:54
Speaker
But like I said, I'd love to.
00:04:56
Speaker
Having said all of that personally, I'm
00:04:59
Speaker
Personally, I think I'm the only human being in the world.
00:05:01
Speaker
That's how everybody thinks.
00:05:02
Speaker
But I really am probably the only person in the world who, if you give all the power and money to, I will use it for good.
00:05:10
Speaker
Okay?
00:05:10
Speaker
It's just good is subjective.
00:05:13
Speaker
All right?
00:05:15
Speaker
Maybe buying myself a jet is a good thing.
00:05:18
Speaker
Right?
00:05:19
Speaker
Because then I won't bug people on public planes and shit.
00:05:25
Speaker
Is that what it's called?
00:05:25
Speaker
Public transport?
00:05:26
Speaker
Public transport.
00:05:29
Speaker
Yeah, I still hate having to get on a plane and walk through the business aisle.
00:05:34
Speaker
Like that is just the shittiest thing, you know, airlines do to you.
00:05:38
Speaker
That's just like a slap on your face.
00:05:42
Speaker
Like, hey, listen, if you had just made something out of yourself, you would not have had to walk through this and embarrass yourself and have to go back to the plebs.
00:05:53
Speaker
Sometimes I just want to snatch the seat and go, I'm not moving.
00:05:56
Speaker
I deserve to be here.
00:05:59
Speaker
So what's going on with you guys?
00:06:02
Speaker
This is this has been hectic for me, man.
00:06:05
Speaker
I've been I've been I've been kind of irregular with the podcast as well, mainly because just things have just gotten wild in the last
Hectic Travel Schedule and Upcoming Break
00:06:14
Speaker
month.
00:06:14
Speaker
I've traveled more out of Dubai.
00:06:17
Speaker
in the last three weeks possibly than I had traveled in the last three years maybe two years at least and so that whole thing is jarring it's like events are happening there are show inquiries coming in and I'm like deliberately like sabotaging the potential gig because I'm just like oh my god I know they'll pay me but it's one more thing I'll have to do
00:06:46
Speaker
So I'm looking forward to getting to mid-December and just having two weeks.
00:06:54
Speaker
I think this will be the first stretch of two weeks where I won't have to worry too much about work.
00:07:02
Speaker
And I'm really going to enjoy it because at the end of December,
00:07:07
Speaker
Our nanny goes away for her annual holiday.
00:07:12
Speaker
Good for her.
00:07:13
Speaker
But man, between you and me, I am so dependent on what she does for us that I am panicking.
00:07:24
Speaker
My wife and I are literally going, oh my God, how are we going to cope with this?
00:07:28
Speaker
Who's going to do this?
00:07:28
Speaker
Who's going to do that?
00:07:30
Speaker
How the hell do you take care of a kid?
00:07:34
Speaker
Look, it's not that bad.
00:07:35
Speaker
We're pretty hands on.
00:07:37
Speaker
I love spending time with my kid and I love doing everything for him on the weekend.
00:07:43
Speaker
We take care of the kiddo.
00:07:45
Speaker
My only worry is, and this is strange,
Nanny's Bond with Amon's Son
00:07:47
Speaker
right?
00:07:47
Speaker
Zayan, right?
00:07:49
Speaker
He doesn't.
00:07:50
Speaker
Ever eat with us.
00:07:53
Speaker
It's like he knows he loves eating.
00:07:55
Speaker
It's not a thing like he hates eating and he's forced to eat and the nanny forces him.
00:07:59
Speaker
But Gerald, that's her name.
00:08:01
Speaker
Gerald is really good with him.
00:08:03
Speaker
Like he bonds with her in a different way.
00:08:06
Speaker
And so she'll ask him.
00:08:08
Speaker
That little prick, yeah?
00:08:10
Speaker
She asks him to come sit down, and he will.
00:08:13
Speaker
And he'll sit down and just let her feed him.
00:08:20
Speaker
If she says in the night, let's go sleep, he'll follow her.
00:08:23
Speaker
No protest, nothing.
00:08:24
Speaker
Even if he doesn't want to, he'll have a little like, but then he'll just take her hand and go in real life.
00:08:30
Speaker
He knows everything.
00:08:33
Speaker
It's not and she's not like strict or mean.
00:08:35
Speaker
She's so gentle that I'm like what she got on him.
00:08:39
Speaker
The only thing I can think of she's made some video of him like snacking on Oreos when he wasn't supposed to Oreo cookies.
00:08:47
Speaker
And so she's like, I'm going to show your parents this if you don't do what I say.
00:08:51
Speaker
See, she's got something on him.
00:08:53
Speaker
Maybe it's a Slav for all I know.
00:08:55
Speaker
And he does it with her when it comes to us.
00:08:58
Speaker
Dude's just like, no.
00:09:00
Speaker
Yeah, it doesn't matter how hungry he is.
00:09:04
Speaker
It doesn't matter that I've got him everything he loves to eat.
00:09:08
Speaker
And he'll just be like, nope, I'm busy playing.
00:09:10
Speaker
I don't want to eat.
00:09:11
Speaker
I'm going to run around.
00:09:13
Speaker
And he barely has a meal with us, maybe a snack at most.
00:09:19
Speaker
And that just like I'm like, man, when she's gone, she's going to come back.
00:09:24
Speaker
And she's going to be like, what'd you do to my kid?
00:09:26
Speaker
Because I swear to God, their bond is so strong.
00:09:28
Speaker
Like she, she, she didn't want to go on the annual holiday.
00:09:33
Speaker
And we're very lucky.
00:09:34
Speaker
He's got someone who loves him so much.
00:09:38
Speaker
She, she was basically like, Hey, listen, um,
00:09:42
Speaker
I don't really want to go for too long.
00:09:43
Speaker
I'm worried about Zayn.
00:09:45
Speaker
And it's so sweet.
00:09:46
Speaker
At the same time, Sarah and I are like, hey, you know, what kind of perception does she have about us?
00:09:55
Speaker
She's also kind of saying, right?
00:09:57
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:09:58
Speaker
Zayn's going to be left home with you two.
00:10:02
Speaker
And I was a bit like, hey, listen, you know, I'm not looking forward to you going, but I'm also I think I can manage a few weeks.
00:10:12
Speaker
Honestly, I don't think I can.
00:10:13
Speaker
But but it was just that kind of vibe that I was like, listen, just enjoy your holidays.
00:10:18
Speaker
Have fun.
00:10:19
Speaker
You'll be here when you come back.
00:10:21
Speaker
He'll probably be really looking forward to seeing you again after your break.
00:10:26
Speaker
And we'll survive this, man.
00:10:30
Speaker
We will make it through.
00:10:31
Speaker
We will survive.
00:10:33
Speaker
That's what's going on on the personal front and parenting.
00:10:40
Speaker
Wow, guys.
00:10:43
Speaker
When I think about Zion growing up, it makes me...
00:10:48
Speaker
One of the things I joke a lot about, like, well, I kind of talk about, like, getting older and older.
00:10:53
Speaker
Because I think it's not a negative thing, if that's what you guys think.
00:10:57
Speaker
I just want to be aware of what stage I am in my life.
00:11:02
Speaker
And you got to be realistic about a couple of things, yeah?
00:11:06
Speaker
I hurt my knee because I went back into football thinking my body's like a 20-year-old.
00:11:11
Speaker
And I immediately hurt it so bad that it's taken me almost two years to recover with that, yeah?
00:11:16
Speaker
And it's completely...
00:11:18
Speaker
not the same ever again.
00:11:19
Speaker
And that made me go, okay, part of that was my general fitness levels as well.
00:11:24
Speaker
But part of that made me go, listen, I got to be careful and just know where I am.
00:11:28
Speaker
It's
Global Protests: Youth vs. Older Generations
00:11:29
Speaker
important.
00:11:29
Speaker
You know why?
00:11:29
Speaker
Because I'm looking around at the whole world and there's things that are just popping around and it's the same story everywhere.
00:11:37
Speaker
It's young people who are sick of the older people just trying to run things the way they want it.
00:11:44
Speaker
They've always run and they
00:11:45
Speaker
And the more the young people want a little bit of freedom, the more these older people try to like, you know, clench their fists and try to beat them down.
00:11:53
Speaker
And it always turns into this big mistake.
00:11:56
Speaker
Yeah, it's always like you just look at it from an outside perspective.
00:12:00
Speaker
And it reminds me of horror movies where someone's walking down the dark.
00:12:05
Speaker
basement and you're like, no, don't do that.
00:12:09
Speaker
Just run out of the house, man.
00:12:11
Speaker
There's the door.
00:12:12
Speaker
Run out of the house, okay?
00:12:14
Speaker
And you're looking at them going, just, who does that?
00:12:17
Speaker
Who walks towards danger?
00:12:19
Speaker
Just turn around, run as hard as you can, run like the wind, okay?
00:12:23
Speaker
And maybe once you're outside, you can call someone and get some help.
00:12:27
Speaker
Nope.
00:12:28
Speaker
How can we have a horror film without someone walking through?
00:12:30
Speaker
And that's exactly what plays out with these guys.
00:12:33
Speaker
They keep doing the same thing
00:12:35
Speaker
which is instead of engaging these guys going, hey, man, maybe things have changed.
00:12:40
Speaker
Maybe these guys are sick of the way.
00:12:41
Speaker
You know what?
00:12:42
Speaker
The economy, everything is not working.
00:12:44
Speaker
Maybe we should change something about how we're operating things, right?
00:12:47
Speaker
No, no, no, no, no.
00:12:49
Speaker
They want power.
00:12:50
Speaker
They want to hold on to it.
00:12:51
Speaker
They want to stick to their ideas.
00:12:53
Speaker
They think they're right.
00:12:54
Speaker
And so it just gets to a point where you just have bloodshed.
00:12:57
Speaker
All right.
00:12:59
Speaker
And I'm talking about there's protests starting in China.
00:13:01
Speaker
And obviously, you know what China is doing?
00:13:03
Speaker
It always has had heavy censorship.
00:13:05
Speaker
But now they're apparently, if you try to find stuff on Twitter about the Chinese rising and the rebellion that's happening, because people are sick of these rules around, particularly around this, the COVID thing.
00:13:23
Speaker
Yeah, it's still a thing there.
00:13:25
Speaker
It's bizarre.
00:13:26
Speaker
In Dubai, I'm like, I completely, at times, I've forgotten COVID's a thing.
00:13:31
Speaker
Not judging stuff like that, but...
00:13:33
Speaker
But, you know, I think that's also like the final straw and young people are just sick of it.
00:13:39
Speaker
And so they're protesting.
00:13:40
Speaker
And so China apparently is like they're flooding Twitter with all kinds of spam and other stuff so that when you search about the protests, you don't get enough of the real ground realities, you know, because it's just distraction.
00:13:59
Speaker
Same thing is happening in Iran.
00:14:02
Speaker
It's young people who are sick of this stuff and what are they doing?
00:14:06
Speaker
They're trying to beat them down and it's horrific and you're just looking at them and you're going, you know, just why?
00:14:13
Speaker
Why do you feel like you need to control people like that?
00:14:16
Speaker
It's the same thing with Russia.
00:14:19
Speaker
The young people, the young Russians, they're finally going, hey man, I don't want to join a war.
00:14:23
Speaker
I don't even know what we're doing.
00:14:25
Speaker
And I've heard stories from my friends when they get there.
00:14:27
Speaker
It's not exactly Disneyland like you guys promised me.
00:14:30
Speaker
Same story.
00:14:31
Speaker
Young people just going, you know what?
00:14:34
Speaker
I'd rather have a nice life.
00:14:36
Speaker
I want to live with the people.
00:14:38
Speaker
I don't need this crap.
00:14:40
Speaker
Even the ones who do.
00:14:41
Speaker
I say every single person.
00:14:43
Speaker
who is pro-war and pro all this kind of stuff, send them to it.
00:14:50
Speaker
Let them be the ones that have to fight the battle, all right?
00:14:53
Speaker
You gotta go, all right, are you pro-war or are you anti-war?
00:14:57
Speaker
You anti-war, you get to stay back, you
Pro-War vs. Anti-War: A Humorous Take
00:14:59
Speaker
guys have your McDonald's and shit and have fun.
00:15:01
Speaker
Pro-war people, off to the border with you guys, here's your gun.
00:15:05
Speaker
Here's some training.
00:15:07
Speaker
Good luck.
00:15:07
Speaker
Let us know how it goes.
00:15:08
Speaker
If you conquer some more land, we'll follow you behind.
00:15:13
Speaker
We'll open some more fast food restaurants as we go along the way, just fattening people up as we go along and conquer more land.
00:15:20
Speaker
All right.
00:15:20
Speaker
I think that would balance life out.
00:15:22
Speaker
Maybe that is how it operates.
00:15:23
Speaker
Who knows?
00:15:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:25
Speaker
I'm just I just really wish it would just end.
00:15:30
Speaker
And it's happening everywhere.
00:15:31
Speaker
And, you know,
00:15:32
Speaker
It's really funny.
00:15:32
Speaker
There's this volcano apparently.
00:15:34
Speaker
It's not the volcano erupting.
00:15:35
Speaker
It's not funny.
00:15:36
Speaker
But I just caught the headline.
00:15:38
Speaker
I didn't get a chance to see where and what.
00:15:40
Speaker
But apparently it's been dormant for 40 years.
00:15:42
Speaker
But now it's showing signs that might erupt.
00:15:44
Speaker
All right.
00:15:46
Speaker
Pompeii, anyone?
00:15:47
Speaker
And...
00:15:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:49
Speaker
And and it's funny because, you know, this is the other thing.
00:15:53
Speaker
You just accidentally every so often I log into a news site just to see what's going on around the world.
00:16:00
Speaker
And the first news was this China thing.
00:16:02
Speaker
The second was this Iranian thing.
00:16:04
Speaker
The third was this Russian thing.
00:16:06
Speaker
And then this volcano.
00:16:07
Speaker
And I'm like, man, the world is a shit way.
00:16:09
Speaker
look at the news, like, why do I do this to myself?
00:16:12
Speaker
But the whole sequence was quite funny for me as well, because the first three things, especially in Iran, it's been 40 years since the current guys have been ruling.
00:16:22
Speaker
And that's bizarre because the volcano is like for and I'm just looking at all this news and I'm like, you know, that's the timeline.
00:16:30
Speaker
But 30, 40 years in,
00:16:33
Speaker
And that's maybe maybe people need to do some data analysis and statistics on this.
Dictator's Strategy: Gradual Changes to Maintain Power?
00:16:38
Speaker
So if I were to take over a country, become a dictator, I think the life cycle on average is about 30, 40 years in this modern age.
00:16:44
Speaker
Maybe it might reduce to 10, 20.
00:16:46
Speaker
And so you've got a few choices around.
00:16:50
Speaker
Yes.
00:16:50
Speaker
You can be a bit brutal, not too brutal, because then it might just be two to five years.
00:16:55
Speaker
So you've got to find that balance of being brutal and taking over and controlling people around.
00:17:00
Speaker
In this day and age, I'd cut it.
00:17:01
Speaker
Yeah, I think this old stuff was lasting 40 years, the Iranian thing and all that.
00:17:05
Speaker
But around 20 years, I would start making changes and pretend that I'm becoming more democratic and allowing my people more freedom one by one.
00:17:14
Speaker
So they think, oh, my God, we're progressing.
00:17:16
Speaker
And so you've got them for a nut.
00:17:17
Speaker
That will extend forever.
00:17:20
Speaker
your dictatorship by another 10, 20 years.
00:17:22
Speaker
All right.
00:17:23
Speaker
And let you let you stay in power that some countries have done that.
00:17:28
Speaker
I think that would extend you into power for another good 30 to 50 years.
00:17:33
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
00:17:35
Speaker
That's how you rule a country.
00:17:37
Speaker
I'm telling you guys, I have given this a lot of thought.
00:17:40
Speaker
And I think if you've been listening to this podcast, you will agree with me that I am the right person to bring into your country to lead as a dictator.
00:17:48
Speaker
I'm quite charismatic.
00:17:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:50
Speaker
I've been doing comedy and stage performances for a good 15 years now.
00:17:56
Speaker
I can do a speech.
00:17:57
Speaker
I can do an engaging speech.
00:17:58
Speaker
I can rile people up.
00:18:00
Speaker
I can engage them.
00:18:02
Speaker
I'm a total package.
00:18:04
Speaker
And if you look at me, I'm not intimidating at all.
00:18:08
Speaker
I'm like a sweet looking guy.
00:18:09
Speaker
So I'd
00:18:10
Speaker
I don't have that one of those weird mustaches or scars or heavy on anything.
00:18:15
Speaker
You'd look at me and you'd be like, hey, you know, he's friendly.
00:18:18
Speaker
I believe this guy.
00:18:19
Speaker
And so I would be the ultimate front man for your dictatorship.
00:18:25
Speaker
Okay, I'm pitching myself for that stuff because again, you know, I'm getting old.
00:18:29
Speaker
I don't know how long How long I can do comedy and stuff.
00:18:33
Speaker
I've noticed gray hair coming on.
00:18:35
Speaker
I've noticed my body slowing.
00:18:37
Speaker
I've noticed my voice Like when I do longer shows like it takes it's it's stressful man and you know, you're projecting and stuff so all of this put together I'm looking at alternate alternative careers and going back into the corporate world and
00:18:53
Speaker
I don't know, man.
00:18:54
Speaker
I do enough corporate training with companies.
00:18:57
Speaker
And I honestly got with a lot of great companies, a lot of great people.
00:19:00
Speaker
But there's always this corporate vibe.
00:19:03
Speaker
I would gel more in a dictatorship, I think, where I can make key decisions myself and live a more luxurious lifestyle and be hands-on with my pay scale and everything.
00:19:18
Speaker
Setting up a dynasty and all that kind of stuff.
00:19:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:21
Speaker
So that's my pitch.
00:19:24
Speaker
If you have a country that you think I could lord over, then please let me know.
00:19:31
Speaker
There are a few rebellions happening.
00:19:33
Speaker
If you're part of the younger people protesting and you need a front man to lead your younger protests as well, I could do that, too, because I could come around from the other side
00:19:43
Speaker
And although I'm older, I think the younger people will be kind of like, hey, you know, he's hip enough for us to kind of give him a chance.
00:19:51
Speaker
And I could slip in there and I could start off as the young people's face and be the rebellion and, you know, the guiding voice for them where they need someone mature and wise.
00:20:04
Speaker
And then eventually,
00:20:05
Speaker
my inner circle will start becoming evil.
00:20:08
Speaker
But initially we could start off as good and well-meaning.
00:20:12
Speaker
That would really, that would also be a real good way to do it.
00:20:17
Speaker
I think I would, even that's a good option because I listen to pop, I'm involved in the pop culture.
00:20:26
Speaker
I have a wife, a beautiful wife who's an artist.
00:20:29
Speaker
Yeah, she could gel both ways.
00:20:31
Speaker
Think about it.
00:20:31
Speaker
Just picture this.
00:20:32
Speaker
I'm a dictator.
00:20:33
Speaker
My wife's this beautiful woman who does who's into art.
00:20:37
Speaker
We'd make this great face.
00:20:39
Speaker
You know, it would be the kind of face the family that people in the UK and the US would engage with and go, hey, you know, I don't mind taking a picture with this with these guys because they don't look like they're going to take someone back into underground and torture them.
00:20:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:53
Speaker
We might, but we just seemingly won't be that type.
00:20:57
Speaker
And that matters.
00:20:59
Speaker
Perception matters.
00:21:00
Speaker
On the flip side, my wife's so hip.
00:21:03
Speaker
She's in with the brands.
00:21:04
Speaker
She knows her stuff.
00:21:05
Speaker
She's so cool.
00:21:06
Speaker
I have a kid.
00:21:07
Speaker
He's adorable.
00:21:08
Speaker
You know, I'm 40 plus, but I don't think I look like 50.
00:21:13
Speaker
So with a little bit of work, I can make myself look maybe, you know, 35, 38.
00:21:17
Speaker
Being short helps.
00:21:18
Speaker
And so we can kind of,
00:21:23
Speaker
Oh my God, the young people will be like, oh, he's a comic.
00:21:26
Speaker
He's an artist.
00:21:26
Speaker
His wife's an artist.
00:21:27
Speaker
What a great, you know, I'll write some jokes about anti-regime and my wife will do some artwork, like illustrations to kind of send out the message.
00:21:39
Speaker
And our kid will be like the center of attention.
00:21:42
Speaker
We are the perfect family for either side.
00:21:46
Speaker
All right, reach out, tell me your rates.
00:21:51
Speaker
Tell me what works for you.
00:21:53
Speaker
I'll have a look at both sides.
00:21:55
Speaker
And I've lived around.
00:21:57
Speaker
My dad's been in international organizations, government ones.
00:22:04
Speaker
So we have that kind of background and vibe going on too.
00:22:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:08
Speaker
We're different kind of very multicultural.
00:22:12
Speaker
We really would fit in anywhere.
00:22:15
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:16
Speaker
That's my pitch to you guys.
00:22:17
Speaker
So if you, like I said, if you've got a country you think needs us, reach out to us.
00:22:22
Speaker
And if you're anti my idea, please stop listening to this podcast and don't report me anywhere.
00:22:28
Speaker
This is about securing the future of my family and my finances as well.
00:22:33
Speaker
So really, you know, I'm just looking out for my kid and there's nothing wrong with that.
00:22:39
Speaker
Okay, don't judge me.
00:22:40
Speaker
All right.
00:22:41
Speaker
I've got a few shows going on.
00:22:44
Speaker
I've also realized that because of the FIFA World Cup, it was a bad time to do gigs.
00:22:51
Speaker
The public ones because most people are out watching matches.
00:22:53
Speaker
Funny,
Upcoming Comedy Shows and Instagram Updates
00:22:54
Speaker
huh?
00:22:54
Speaker
You would think maybe don't put up a...
00:22:58
Speaker
a comedy event when Brazil is playing in Dubai where everyone's a Brazilian fan.
00:23:04
Speaker
Anyway, I've got a show tonight with Saad Haroon and Rushdie Rafiq, two of my comic legends and friends, superstars of comedy.
00:23:14
Speaker
And it's going to be fun.
00:23:15
Speaker
So come down to courtyard if you're listening to the podcast on the day.
00:23:19
Speaker
Otherwise, check out my Instagram at SalmanZQ for all the gigs that are happening.
00:23:23
Speaker
There's a lot of stuff.
00:23:24
Speaker
I'm touring new stuff.
00:23:25
Speaker
I'm going to announce 2023, my tour cities and gigs where Rishi and I are going to be traveling around quite a few cities that we've been speaking to.
00:23:34
Speaker
So do follow on Instagram to keep up with the dates, man.
00:23:39
Speaker
I'm really excited about the coming year.
00:23:42
Speaker
On that note, take care of yourself, guys.
00:23:44
Speaker
I got to run, get my beauty sleep, get some chores done before I prepare for the gig tonight.
00:23:52
Speaker
And you guys take care.
00:23:54
Speaker
Send some feedback.
00:23:54
Speaker
Show me some love.
00:23:55
Speaker
Spread the word.
00:23:56
Speaker
Spread the podcast around.
00:23:58
Speaker
It all helps.
00:23:59
Speaker
Take care of yourself.
00:24:00
Speaker
Goodbye.
00:24:01
Speaker
Or as a dog would say, woof.
00:24:11
Speaker
you