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116 - Recruiting, Reps, & Resilience w/ Nick Tintle
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Most athletes think showing up is enough. Go to the tournaments, hit the showcases, get seen, and the offers will come. Nick Tintle has spent nearly two decades watching that belief cost athletes the opportunity they worked their whole career to earn.
Nick is a 2x All-American, MLL Champion, and founder of The Lacrosse Barn, the first lacrosse-exclusive training facility in Texas. In this episode, Nick breaks down what recruiting actually demands before a player ever steps on a showcase field, why his 8-person small group training model is developing smarter, more situationally aware athletes, and what it really means to grind in the dark when everyone else is chasing the spotlight.
We also get into the book he spent four years writing, a story born out of grief, finished through relentless consistency, and what that process revealed about resilience, gratitude, and the people who show up when you're running on empty.
If you coach athletes with college dreams, train players who think presence equals preparation, or you're an athlete trying to find your edge, this one is for you.
In this episode:
- Why tournaments are a needle in a haystack for recruiting
- The 8-person training model and why it beats privates
- Skill vs. situational awareness — and why the gap matters
- How to communicate hard work without dismantling effort
- Burnout — how to spot it, how to address it, and when to step back
- The book, the grief, and four years of showing up anyway
Education - Captains & Coaches course, "Why They're Not Listening - Coaching Today's Athlete": http://listen.captainsandcoaches.com
Training: 15 Min Dynamic Warm Up Flow - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/warmupflowOld Bull Program - 7 Day Free Trial - https://bit.ly/old-bull-train
C&C Merch - shop.captainsandcoaches.com
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Transcript
Introduction to Nick Tintel and Leadership Insights
00:00:00
Speaker
Everyone's going to club tournaments. Everyone's going to these select tournaments and prospect camps and stuff. What are you doing in the like in the background? What are you doing that no one's watching?
00:00:11
Speaker
I think everyone wants to be in the spotlight all the time. like To shine in the spotlight, you've got to grind in the dark. like And I just think... don't think I don't think a lot of kids do that. I think i think the 3%, the 1%, whatever that is, that percentage, those guys, you could see it. I have you know i have those kids that that do that, and they're leaps in and bounds ahead of everyone. But everyone's chasing the same thing.
00:00:35
Speaker
So I don't know, just finding that edge. Most athletes think showing up to tournaments is the work. Get seen enough times, be in enough places, and the college offers find you.
00:00:48
Speaker
Now,
Importance of Preparation and Resilience in Recruiting
00:00:49
Speaker
welcome to the Captains and Coaches podcast we explore the art and science of leadership through the lens of athletics and beyond. I'm your host, Texan Quilkin, and today I travel to Dallas, Texas to sit down with Coach Nick Tintel.
00:01:01
Speaker
Nick has watched misaligned beliefs derail more recruiting journeys than a lack of talent ever did. Because here's the truth, recruiting doesn't reward presence. It rewards preparation. It rewards reps. And when everything falls apart, it rewards the ones who have built enough resilience to keep going anyway.
00:01:23
Speaker
Nick is a two-time All-American at University of North Carolina, MLL champion, and the founder of the Crosse Barn in Dallas, Texas, the first facility in Texas built exclusively for lacrosse, where he's developed thousands of athletes through a small group model he's been refining for nearly two decades.
00:01:42
Speaker
In this conversation, we get into what recruiting actually demands before a play player even steps on the showcase field, why intentional reps and small groups are developing smarter athletes faster, and what it means to grind in the dark when everyone else is chasing the spotlight.
The Book Writing Journey: Life Lessons over Emotional Storytelling
00:02:00
Speaker
We also get into Nick's book and what that process taught him about the same things that he's teaching his athletes every single day. With this, let's hand it off to Nick to help us raise the game. Ready, ready, and be break. Yeah, so I finished it.
00:02:16
Speaker
You know, it's been a process, and I just, when I read it last, I was like, it's not right. There's something, it's just not, you know, like, it almost felt like a sob story for me, and i was like, I don't want this to, I don't want people to feel sorry for me. i don't want them just to be emotionally moved by it. I want them to have takeaways. So I went piece by piece in every chapter, and, uh,
00:02:38
Speaker
and put like one life lesson and one takeaway from every chapter. And then once I started doing that, I went back in the chapters to like kind of make them a little bit more cleaner. And then I read it from hundredth time and read through the whole thing. And I was like, when I finished editing it, I was like, it's done.
00:02:56
Speaker
That's it. That's what I wanted in the first place. But I'm a perfectionist,
Personal Struggles and the Power of Perseverance
00:03:00
Speaker
right? So like I had to do it. I've i've edited that book a hundred times. Yeah. So that last time when I was like,
00:03:07
Speaker
Like, I think I sent it and then I did one more edit and then send it. I was like, all right, now I'm really done. so yeah I think there was a lot of people in my life that I didn't realize. So when you start writing, right, it comes to fruition. error it's like It's like, all right, what do I, like what am I missing out of this? And I didn't give the people...
00:03:24
Speaker
that helped me along the way enough credit it was like just like little blurbs about them but i wanted to elaborate on them because a lot of them are not here with us anymore and they were really vital into me making it because there's a couple times i hit a dead end And people like like in California, my buddy who was in the Marines, he took me and took me in because I was homeless pretty much. So like I slept in his spare bedroom for four months. They even gave me their car because I had a Dodge Ram and it was guzzling gas. i had to travel all the way from Oceanside Orange County.
00:03:58
Speaker
So
Unexpected Support and Morale Boost
00:03:59
Speaker
they gave me their car so I could save some money on that. They didn't charge big rent. like I would have had to go home. So if i had to go home at that point, I wouldn't be here now. Yeah. there's just a lot of like cool that i that I forgot about that started coming back to me. Another one was like I was at a...
00:04:12
Speaker
playoff game we lost and I go to my car and my my tank is literally empty and I had like literally maybe ten dollars to my name it's like food or gas how do I get home like I like broke down I was pissed because we lost but then I was also like i don't have anything like like what is this all worth it like because was coaching for like ten dollars an hour at that time right I had nothing um and a parent comes up to me And like, I'm like bawling in the car by myself, like thinking it's over.
00:04:39
Speaker
And a parent knocks on the window and hands me an envelope and goes, hey, this is from the parents. We just want to say how much you're changing our kids' lives and we love you. And like, we hope
Overcoming Hardships vs. Luck in Success
00:04:49
Speaker
to see you next year and good season, blah, blah. And I open that open the it's $1,000 cash.
00:04:54
Speaker
Like those stories are crazy. So I had to like, I had to put those in there. Yeah, those are really those are stored. Those are things like that's like, those are like, that's when you think it's like, this is it. I can't do it. I literally went to my last dollar and I got nothing. I don't have an answer for it. Yeah.
00:05:12
Speaker
And then something happens. And it's happened. It's happened many times through other people that you poured in big, big pour back. Yeah, it's it's it's giving everything. Like, you know how, like you say, you gotta, like, know Cass is like, you gotta fill your cup before you can pour into others.
00:05:30
Speaker
I was, empty like, i was just pouring into others and I, like, was pouring from an empty glass. Yeah. Somehow. And I just kept doing it. And, you know, a lot of people, I think, go back to saying that's luck.
00:05:41
Speaker
If it was luck, maybe once. It's happened four or five times where I was at crossroads or dead ends, and then it it has has just filled my glass up, like poured over. So it's kind of interesting to even just look at that point of view of it. I don't think it's luck anymore. i think it's like, hey, I worked until I was depleted, like literally done, and then it just comes back somehow. Yeah.
00:06:06
Speaker
Well, it was through people that you you poured, you gave, gave, gave. Yeah. it was And then at
Challenges in Student-Athlete Recruitment
00:06:11
Speaker
no point did you like let the darkness win with the people. You felt it internally, but...
00:06:18
Speaker
I mean, they had to have seen that. Yeah, I think when when so he interviewed all these people, too. And when they say like, like the guy Jim Roberson was like, yeah, I just felt like Nick was struggling. So I just wanted to help him because he was doing the right thing.
00:06:33
Speaker
Same thing with Marie and Kevin Hickman, who gave me the first gym with Athletes Choice. They prayed about it. And they're in their prayers, i came up in their prayers. Weird. I mean, how weird is crazy.
00:06:45
Speaker
It's crazy how things happen like that. And then, like, when my first shim, after I owned it for three years, um...
00:06:53
Speaker
The, uh, they, I sat down, was going to do a 10 year lease. The place was like, it was crushing. And, uh, I sat down with the, the, the landlord and she's like, no, before you go any further, like, cause I was like, yeah, we're going to 10 year deal, blah, blah, blah. She's like, before you go any further, she goes, we need the business. We need the building back for our own business. So i was like out.
00:07:11
Speaker
So I didn't have another building ready. Um, and then I'm like a week later, I'm training, kids and I have the the bay door open and the parents are there watching and this guy Brett Berry comes up and goes hey you had a crush and did you ever think about like expanding or going bigger and I'm like funny you mentioned that and he goes I got a building right down the block and that's when I moved to my 21,000 square foot gym yeah so it's it's just weird things like that it's crazy crazy how how these things work yeah would but it's not it's not keeping it quiet
00:07:44
Speaker
It's saying something and then allowing that to just become jumping point. Yeah, you put it out in the world and something comes back. Yeah. yeah Well, I mean, this is this is all valuable. i'm I'm excited for the book.
00:07:58
Speaker
And this is going to lead us into good topic we've we've discussed personally, but I want to get out into the world, which is recruiting. So similar, I mean, kids are aiming to put themselves out there, whether it's going to camps, going to tournaments all over the country.
00:08:17
Speaker
They're trying to find those sticky moments that then lead to an opportunity of finding the right home in college.
Prioritizing Skill Development in Recruitment
00:08:23
Speaker
And the game has changed since you were in high school and seeking that next level.
00:08:29
Speaker
So I'd love to cover what was life like when you were a high school athlete. And we talked about this a little bit in podcast number 13. So check that out.
00:08:41
Speaker
ah But I want to catch up there. What was recruiting like back in your day? what allowed you to have success that led to finding the right coach in unc if that was the case and then i mean we're just guidance now we have all these colleges out in the wall here and where where does guidance come now that you've got no affiliation with any program school no club affiliation and you're still aiming to do right by the kids just like you always have I think the word that comes to my mind right away is preparation. I think the um the thing that I struggle with to try to get to parents and these kids is like, you're chasing a dream.
00:09:26
Speaker
But you're going to all these tournaments unprepared. i think that, and maybe I'm biased because I'm in this sector, but like, i don't think kids are working on their skill development and just developing themselves as a lacrosse player as much as I think I used to do or we did back in the day. Now, I also have to say it's way harder now.
00:09:49
Speaker
There's more kids playing, there's more talent out there, the game's exploding and you still have a small amount of schools, Division 1, 2 and 3. So the the you have to be in the one percent and the three percent of guys And my question to everyone that i that I train and coach and come across is, are you working harder than 97% of the people out there?
00:10:16
Speaker
And honestly, like for me, from my standpoint, it's like, yeah, you're traveling every weekend and going to prospect camps, doing all the stuff. But like, are you as good of a player as you need to be?
00:10:27
Speaker
Are you spending the time with the stick in your hand and and developing your skills so that when you do go to these showcases, you're you're showing out? Like you're doing well. Just because you're there doesn't mean you're going to get recruited. Like you got to be good.
00:10:39
Speaker
Right. so So going back to my story and my recruiting, and like I give, I'm like so you're you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Like it's like it's you're trying to get to these kids, but like there's so much pressure on them now.
00:10:56
Speaker
And it's like keeping up with the Joneses and they they think they have to do all this stuff. Like, I just want them to go back to like fulfilling potential. Like, get as good as you possibly can get.
00:11:06
Speaker
And then at the end of the day, like after
Balancing Strength and Skill Training
00:11:09
Speaker
it's all said and done, like whether you land at D1, D2, D3, you play MCLA, it doesn't matter. You put everything you did can into the sport. And you got like...
00:11:20
Speaker
you know you learn a lot through that process in itself, but like then there's no regrets. like You did everything you possibly could. When I was getting recruited, my parents knew nothing about the recruiting process. I knew nothing about the recruiting process. All I was obsessed with is how good can I possibly get?
00:11:36
Speaker
So, and then and then it came to the point where it was like, i was 119 pounds as a freshman high school. I'm not getting recruited by by a college team as a 119 pound kid. I don't care how good I was.
00:11:47
Speaker
Right? So like, and and it wasn't, lacrosse wasn't the driving force. Football was the driving force. I was too small to play high school football. yeah and high school And football was my sport. Like that's what I wanted to play. So the answer, like I came home, like I should be starting, blah, blah. My mom's like, you can cry and complain about it all you want.
00:12:03
Speaker
or you can do something about it. And the answer was the the Breakfast Club, which we, you know, i didn't miss a day. After that, after I broke my collarbone my freshman year, I healed from that. And then I went in the weight room and started eating more and starting lifting because I was a good athlete, but I wasn't elite.
00:12:22
Speaker
So I had to do something about So like the weight room for me was the savior for me. But like back then I wasn't like chasing a college scholarship for lacrosse. I was just trying to play football in high school.
00:12:33
Speaker
And that was the answer. I got to get bigger. I got to get stronger. Did that help with my lacrosse journey? 100%. And that's why we say, like, you should play a bunch of different sports. Because if I was just focused on lacrosse, I probably could have got away with not working out. yeah um Would I have been the player I was? Absolutely not. So the me chasing the football pipeline dream actually helped me more in lacrosse.
00:12:58
Speaker
Because now I'm 185 pounds as a senior. And that's a good size for a lacrosse player. that's That's what I played pro at later in my career. So because I got up to 205 in college and it was too slow. So there's a balance with that, right? So but I just think I think what kids have to look at is you have to be so brutally honest with where you're at.
00:13:19
Speaker
And the problem I see is. middle school kids, middle school boys, they have these dreams, youth kids, they, I'm gonna play at Virginia, gonna play at UNC, I'm gonna play at Duke, gonna play wherever, these ACC schools, whatever, and I'm like, that's great.
00:13:32
Speaker
The work starts now though, because if you're in ninth grade and then you make that choice to start working hard, it's almost too late. I was lucky. that I hit it really, really hard in ninth grade. But like now with the competition, like I probably wouldn't have gotten away with that now.
00:13:46
Speaker
Like it starts in seventh grade. And i know some people will say like, oh, that's way too serious for kids. I don't want it to be serious. They have to learn To love the work that it takes to get there.
00:13:59
Speaker
So for coaches, it's making it challenging, but also still fun. Because we can get into that point. It's like, I loved lacrosse coming out of high school. Loved it.
00:14:11
Speaker
College, I started to hate it. yeah So if you don't, if I see kids burnt out, you know, when they they're in high school, if you hate lacrosse in high school and you're going to play division one, two or three,
00:14:24
Speaker
Don't. No. Don't do it. It's going to be miserable. Yeah. Yeah. You may not make four years. No. The. So. Take us to self-awareness.
00:14:36
Speaker
So one thing I struggle with is communicating. What is hard work?
Coaching Self-Awareness and Social-Emotional Leadership
00:14:41
Speaker
Because you get these high schoolers, you get these middle schoolers, they are pushing themselves and they they think it's enough.
00:14:48
Speaker
So how how do you communicate that there is more to give to them? That, yes, I see your effort here. But according to your goals, we're going to have to double down a lot of that looseness or avoidance of the weight room or certain works like the weight room, whatever it is that they're avoiding.
00:15:09
Speaker
We can't avoid it anymore. How do you communicate what hard work really is to these guys without the dismantling of the the effort that they do have right now?
00:15:21
Speaker
I think as a coach, you have to guide them in a certain way. So for me, i'm I used to do the strength, speed, and skill. Now it's skill work, and I add my speed like speed background into it, right?
00:15:33
Speaker
If I have a kid that's amazing at lacrosse, and he's like ahead of the game in lacrosse, but he's undersized, we're going to start talking about nutrition and the weight room.
00:15:44
Speaker
That's going to be, even if that doesn't involve, it doesn't involve me. It's not like, that's not to to to charge you more money to come with, I don't do it anymore. um But I'm going to be really honest with them because they have a goal.
00:15:57
Speaker
So however we can collapse time and get them there faster, that's what it is. now Like Texas, you know, Texas football, a lot of these kids play football and they're like, they're meatheads. They want to be in the weight room all the time.
00:16:09
Speaker
Okay, that's great. But if you suck at lacrosse, you ain't going to play lacrosse anywhere. Right? So like there's like you got to find, and I hate the word balance because you, listen, if you want to play at that level, there's no balance.
00:16:21
Speaker
In the beginning, at least. You can find it as you go. um But you have to be balancing your efforts in some way of, the work you're putting in right? like strength And another thing is instant gratification. These kids think like, oh, I go to the weight room for a month, I'm gonna be strong. Like, no, no, this is ah this is like ah ah a journey.
00:16:41
Speaker
It's gonna see two or three years and then you're gonna see real progress, but that's consistent for two or three years, right? yeah Now you can get a lot done in a year, in six months to a year, whatever. But it takes six months to a year to see something that you're like, oh this is working.
00:16:56
Speaker
And then you then if you continue, then you you you hit, you know, you you hit your full potential, you hit your bucket. um But it's being honest with the kids of what they need right then and there. Right. Like, right, you're super strong and super fast.
00:17:11
Speaker
Keep doing what you're doing on that side. But like you need to add some skill stuff in there. Yeah. You know, if your nutrition sucks, like, we need to work on that. Like, it's just, it's going to be very different for each kid.
00:17:25
Speaker
But I think the big thing that parents need to know is they need to fill the buckets their kids need most. he If they're really good lacrosse players, you know, you still got to continue to get better with your skill.
00:17:40
Speaker
But, like, if they're 110 pounds, 119 pounds like myself, like... you gotta to hit the weight room, right? There's just, you it's different. player by player. Time out.
00:17:50
Speaker
Coach needs a coach. I want you to take a second to reflect on this past season and what did not click. Were there moments where you lost your temper, lost your cool, felt your team was mentally soft, weak, not prepared to face competition? Were there moments where they put their heads down and were not ready or accepted?
00:18:11
Speaker
Did they quit on you? Did they quit on their their teammates during a game? What was that experience like? How did you manage it? How did you handle it? I have
Evolving Physicality in Lacrosse
00:18:22
Speaker
a course out here. It's called Why They're Not Listening, Coaching Today's Athlete, where I dive into a concept I've been working on that's called social-emotional leadership. How do we use practices? How do we use strength and conditioning sessions to develop our leaders, to have self-awareness, social awareness, and then have a toolkit
00:18:42
Speaker
to then lead not only their teammates but themselves. But it starts with you, Coach. i encourage you to check out this. My first lesson in the course is free. To find that, head to listen.captainsandcoaches.com.
00:18:56
Speaker
Start preparing now for next season, and everything that you're investing will start to pay off. Now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and break. Do you feel that the physicality of the game has changed? Has it become more physical because more athletes are entering into it?
00:19:16
Speaker
More people, more athletes? When I was in school, we had some big boys out there. i mean, Willie Aitman was out there for Notre Dame, and we had some six-foot-five guys on our defense. I don't think the physicality has changed. I think i think you're seeing...
00:19:31
Speaker
I think you're seeing bigger players. I think rosters are getting bigger size guys. um I think the physicality is the same. ah It's a physical sport. But you're seeing bigger guys play the defensive side a little bit more. But you there's still there's still those little runs.
00:19:49
Speaker
that I shouldn't say runs. They're 180 pounds. i was a run, right? like Like when I played pro, there's pictures of me playing against guys that are towering over me. I was strong enough to withhold it. like So, like, lacrosse, that's why it's lacrosse is so special, though, because you still, there's that 180-pound can still play like there's 160 pound guys playing it that are you know you just gotta double down on your strengths if you're 160 pounds you better be quick as hell ah you better be super fast to avoid full contact right I mean most running backs are or wide receivers in the NFL that are smaller guys let's say wide receivers like a smaller slot guy they go over the middle they know how to protect themselves or they know how to make a little quick move that a a defender can't get the full you know full hit yeah they're protecting themselves that way so I think lacrosse still has that
00:20:35
Speaker
in it yeah yeah coaching in Georgetown there's these Canadians that they were claiming to be allergic
Standing Out in Recruitment: Strategies and Consistency
00:20:42
Speaker
from weight to weights I know that or yeah so then they I mean if I took lacrosse out of the equation and we just watch them athletically moving and in the weight room you'd be like what is going on here And then you put them in their element. and It's like they surprised me every single time. My buddy Zach Currier used to say, hey, Tino, when's the last time a dumbbell scored a goal? um And he's you know he's right.
00:21:09
Speaker
um But what I look at from that perspective is like, man, these guys can play. They can flat out play. And they're really good. And they're physical because they're used to leverage and learning how to play physical in the box game. Yeah.
00:21:27
Speaker
But I always think about like, what if they just spent a little bit of time in the weight room? Like not like, like they don't have to spend, you know, some, some, some American guys, like they're just too bulky and they just want to hit the weights and like, it's like hurting their game in some way.
00:21:39
Speaker
um But if these, some of these guys just hit hit it a little bit, Would it accelerate their their their game? And the answer is, for me, is yes, all day long. And it prolongs. long The season, not just the career, the season is very long. And beats you up in the amount of playing time that they got.
00:21:58
Speaker
So those were always fun conversations and nuts to crack for me because that means they had the skill equation. But how can we just get you 1% better longer than on the field? And that's longevity, right? Because a lot of the Canadians are playing outdoor and indoor. They're playing them a lot of lacrosse.
00:22:16
Speaker
yeah It's tough to stay healthy for that much lacrosse. Yeah. the the Those were fun times. Yeah, I love where you say show out. And it's... it's I feel a lot of the youth, they're waiting for the the games, the tournaments, the cameras, the moments, and they think that's what happens.
00:22:35
Speaker
So how would you communicate showing out every single day? When you're showing up at practice, you're showing up to train, you're showing up on your own time to then have those moments be easy.
00:22:47
Speaker
I don't know if you just, I have a board in there that we write quotes on or just sayings or phrases whatever. I just put it up today. Just be consistent. Like consistency over time, it's the most important thing in everything you do. Show up, be consistent, do the little things day in day out. um I mean, I'll go back to a story.
00:23:11
Speaker
So I was hitting the weight room. i was Lacrosse was tough for me growing up. Like I was never the best lacrosse player on the field. I was always second string midfield, youth through middle school. um Seventh and eighth grade, my mom used to go walk the track.
00:23:25
Speaker
And when she walked the track, like I was, I picked lacrosse over baseball. But i didn't have this I didn't master the stick yet. So I went up there, half hour on wall on the wall, half hour shooting.
00:23:37
Speaker
And I was just consistent with it Monday through Friday. seven That's when I saw the most growth. That's when I became a really good lacrosse player. i think kids I think kids are consistent in playing. They're going to their practices. They're going to their tournaments. But everyone's doing that.
00:23:52
Speaker
I think you have to find your edge, whether the edge is the weight room, the mornings that i that I woke up or the afternoons that I spent with my mom when she was walking the track. like Those are the things I the weight room for me to in high school was not even more about it was yeah, I wanted to play football on varsity level and play in high school. But the you know what it taught me it was like it was a mental edge.
00:24:13
Speaker
Every time I walked in that weight room, it was like in the middle of New York winters. It was freezing cold, rusty weights. We turned on the heater with the first ones at the high school. I just like remind myself like everyone's sleeping. Everyone you're playing is sleeping right now. And you're doing this.
00:24:28
Speaker
And you just keep doing that. And there's like that mentality, like that got me, my that got my mind so strong that I knew like, no matter what, like when I was out there, it was just fun now because I knew like, you guys didn't put in the work.
00:24:41
Speaker
You didn't do what I did. and So like finding that edge for each individual, I think is such a big thing. And like, if you you you might be working hard because everyone's doing it. Everyone's going to practice. Everyone's going to club tournaments. Everyone's going to these select tournaments and prospect camps and stuff.
00:25:00
Speaker
What are you doing in the like in the background? What are you doing that no one's watching? I think everyone wants to be in the spotlight all the time. like To shine in the spotlight, you've got to grind in the dark. like And I just think...
00:25:13
Speaker
don't think I don't think a lot of kids do that. I think i think the 3%, the 1%, whatever that is, that percentage, those guys, you could see it. i have you know I have those kids that that do that, and they're leaps in and bounds ahead of everyone. But everyone's chasing the same thing.
00:25:29
Speaker
So I don't know, just finding that edge. Yeah, I love it. So, I mean, we're talking about communicating hard work. Now, how do you help student-athletes understand and communicating to and i mean college levels, like starting that conversation. It's not assuming that if I go to those tournaments, I'm going to get eyes on me.
00:25:54
Speaker
How do I now get eyes on me so when I am there and I show up, somebody's watching?
00:26:02
Speaker
This a tough question. In my opinion, tournaments, you're a needle in the haystack. If they don't already know your name, they're probably not watching you. And even if they know your name, they're coming to your game for 15 minutes.
00:26:14
Speaker
you might not even have the ball on your side. Like it's, it's, yeah. Yeah. It's, it's a wild thing right now. So like, in my opinion, when you, when you put in all the work, you're at you're at the upper echelon of your grade and your class, um, and you have dreams of playing to division one, two, three club, I don't care. um the preparation to get there. And then i think narrowing down,
00:26:42
Speaker
to, I don't know, five to eight schools that you really wanna go to, that you've done your homework on, you fit in that program, you fit in that system, you like the coaches, you like the campus, is going to their prospect camps.
00:26:56
Speaker
The only reason I say this, and and I know this is for like college coaches to make extra money on the side, but they also want to bring in and recruit at their home court kind of thing. These prospect camps are usually 250 kids or less for the most part, give or take, but it's over three days.
00:27:14
Speaker
So they're you're going to be there. in they're they If you show out, if you do they're going to notice you. I just think of these tournaments. Sandstorm has like 72 fields. like it could take It could take an hour to walk from one field to the other field. like it like It's just a needle in the haystack type of thing. it's like one i will I'd rather be in front of coaches for three days with 250 kids than maybe they see me 15 minutes and I have to...
00:27:41
Speaker
i have everything work out perfectly for them to see I can play and the camp is more of the Environment they're going to live in for college.
Choosing the Right College Program
00:27:51
Speaker
Are you coachable? Are you teachable? You got a great attitude? You're a great teammate because the majority of how do you bounce back from mistakes? Yeah, how do you accept feedback?
00:28:00
Speaker
Do you make those adjustments? They ask because I mean that's that's being a college athlete. Yeah The games, that's 1% of your time as a college athlete, maybe not even. like So the camps are a great representation of what you will be like as a student athlete on their team. Yeah.
00:28:19
Speaker
It's a little bit um more immersive, I think. And you just get in front of that coach a little bit longer. A little more personable. Yeah, more personable. You start to build a rapport and relationship.
00:28:32
Speaker
And you, you know, talking to the student athlete, you can tell if it's not going to work. Just because it's a ah logo that you fell in love with, now you're in the environment, and we've got to start asking real questions there of this, this, where I want to be.
00:28:47
Speaker
And I think that's a very, very important question to ask yourself when you're getting recruited by any teams. ah You got to go and you got to do your homework just because the logo and the championships they've won in the past, you got to look at their culture. You got to look at their the way they play, the style of their play. is that Does that fit your style or are they just trying to get the best recruit?
00:29:12
Speaker
you you got to really weigh those options out because you'd rather go to a system that you're going to fit in really well with than having to adapt your whole game which is what i feel like i had to do at carolina a little bit is adapt my game a little bit um and it probably wasn't the right culture for me or the system for me um and it's nothing against carolina i love carolina i'm a tar hill guy for the rest of my life like i love it and i probably wouldn't change it just because the school was amazing But I had options to look at Maryland and Virginia, and I didn't take those i didn't take those visits because I was a diehard Michael Jordan fan.
00:29:47
Speaker
And that's literally why I went to Carolina. When I was younger, I had all the Carolina gear, and that's just like if I got a yes from Carolina, this was going. I made that choice very early in my life. And when I got that yes, there was no other – I had the blinders on.
00:30:01
Speaker
But I didn't do my due diligence on seeing like – what's this culture look like? What does the next four years look like? Who's in front of me? Who, you know, I can't really tell who they're gonna recruit the next couple years, but like, what does that look like?
00:30:15
Speaker
And I wish I did that a little bit better. Yeah, blind blinders are important. We talked about social awareness. There's also situational awareness, and I know that's a big cav word too.
00:30:27
Speaker
So how would you guide a kid to make sure that they're not blinded by the logo, blinded by the dream, and stepping into a toxic environment when there's other great opportunities that actually want them there that'll help them reach their full potential?
00:30:46
Speaker
There's... I can only do so much, right? you could You could say like, hey, I think you're a good fit for this program, whatever. But if that kid really wants to go there, like you can't really take that away from him.
00:30:59
Speaker
like At the end of the day, he's got to make the decision. Not mom, not dad, not me, not coach. It doesn't really matter. You can guide them and you can give them the pros and cons. You can you can you can tell them until you're blue in the face that this is going to be the program that's going to best fit you.
00:31:16
Speaker
They're going to have to make that choice at the end of the day. um And who am I to tell? Like if someone, if a coach told me like, Hey, Caroline is not a good fit for you. Probably not listened to him at that point in my life anyway.
00:31:28
Speaker
Or maybe I am and maybe I'm in a different, maybe they've put me in a different direction. So like you could put it out on the table and say like, let's look at these options and see what's best fit for you. But at the end of day, like they want to go play for that team, they're going go play for that team. And
Developing All-Around Players
00:31:42
Speaker
then they just have to be ready to change the culture or fit into a different system or completely change their game.
00:31:49
Speaker
um I come back to this all the time is like and I think Maryland does it Maryland Especially on the defenseman. They have a prototypical defender that they recruit If you're like a over-the-head takeaway guy like Maryland, you don't go to Maryland They want you to play sound defense very good angles They want you to play as a team and there sounds boring Right? For the guy that wants to do all that stuff, yeah, it's probably really boring. Whereas Syracuse, like back in the day, Syracuse was like, hey, we recruited you for your skill. Go do whatever you want.
00:32:21
Speaker
It's kind of like a free, like, and they played that way. Like, you know, you see Rick Beardsley on these old, like these these films, and he's throwing behind the back passes all the way down the field.
00:32:32
Speaker
If I did that Carolina, would have been benched right away. um so that goes in the recruiting process though it's like you got to see your fit like if you're a takeaway defender you probably don't want to go to maryland even if they're recruiting you which they probably wouldn't recruit you in in the first because they recruit that certain guy um then carolina on the other end just recruits like who are the best guys out there like we want five stars five stars five stars and then they try to fit you into like they try to put it all together once you get there and gel it as you get there which is not a bad way to do it but if you have a lot of top top talent that's used to being the guy with the ball on their stick it's going to be hard to get guys to be role players now yeah so it's an interesting concept um
00:33:19
Speaker
Maryland like has a has a puzzle they have a puzzle and they they they find the pieces that complete that puzzle Carolina starts with a new puzzle every year and they just try to put it together and that's my opinion right um but you kind of see that all over different things so some coaches they recruit a certain type player and then other coaches we recruit whoever's the best Time out, let's take a second to talk training. I'm giving more of my training tools that I'm doing for myself to you. i have a new dynamic movement and kettlebell flow program. Takes less than 15 minutes a day. I use this in the morning right when I wake up. Yoga mat, red light, kettlebell, hit my flow.
00:34:03
Speaker
This also can double down as a warmup for any program that you're following. There is no one in the strength conditioning game that cares more about the warmup than I do. Bull Bull has it, my Strength Speed Swagger program has it. A lot of the programs out there that you're following, they don't have it.
00:34:21
Speaker
What I want to do is maximize any program that you're following using this warmup or get your day started right. It's up to you how you use It takes less than 15 minutes a day to flow, hit a kettlebell, and feel great.
00:34:37
Speaker
Check out a seven-day free trial of this program. Hit the link in the show notes, or if you're watching on YouTube, here's the link right here. Now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and break. So role player, there there's so much off-ball movement, right? The camera's following the ball.
00:34:53
Speaker
But then if we look at end zone footage, we can see a different side of the game rather than just the what the the camera's following with the ball. So how are you communicating the other roles here? There's a lot of the the awesome videos you're putting out.
00:35:10
Speaker
It's individual or two man. So how do you now communicating all the other values of role to your guys so they make sure it's not always about them? Yeah, we want to make sure that we have all-around players. Like early in my um training career, I was just coaching kids to be the guy.
00:35:31
Speaker
You need the ball on your stick, dodge this person, beat the slide score. um It's changed because lacrosse is not it's not an individual sport, it's a team sport. So you have to know the system and you have to know how to work off ball. And now what I tell kids is like, you see the kids that score five, six goals a game at a high level, two of those goals are off ball or cutting or moving. um a lot of the things that they the kids don't see is like a lot of times you see a guy score and he scored because a guy did like a shallow cut that looked like a pick and then his defender peeled off him so the guy with the ball didn't even beat him it was the off ball movement that opened it up or clear through and open space for people um so seeing that and then kind of that's why we do group sessions and that's why i'm trying to change it's more of the parents mindset of like
00:36:23
Speaker
Look, privates have their role, right? Because you got to get better at shooting and dodging all this stuff. But I look at privates now as like like finer details. If you don't know the game, if you're not at a certain level, then privates really are wasted time.
00:36:40
Speaker
I think the small group, so like what we've created here is it's an eight-person group, right? So if you think about it, i've and I've done this for, don't know,
00:36:51
Speaker
17 years now and i I think I've figured it out. The privates, I had people doing privates in California and they their skill level was insane. And then I go to Long Island and I'd see that and I'd be like, these kids aren't that like skill-wise, like my kids in California are better.
00:37:07
Speaker
but why are these kids playing and these kids not playing when they get to college it's because they're decision making they're making better decisions in different times so we went to an eight person model and i went away from the private model pretty much all together unless i see something that we just need to clean up but the eight person model you get the both best of both worlds we could do two men you could do build-ups you can go 2v1s 2v2s 3v2s 3v3s 4v3s 4v4s and in that you're seeing them actually make decisions
Enhancing Decision-Making with Small Group Sessions
00:37:36
Speaker
Right. So we've been I've been doing that for the last eight years, nine years, 10 years plus whatever. And the skill level might not be as clean or crisp, but they're making better decisions. And I'll take that over the perfectly polished skill person that doesn't know the game.
00:37:52
Speaker
So um the eight person. model, you get the high volume reps that you would get in a private and you pretty much get the same reps because it's rep to rest ratio anyway. So while you're resting, that's the amount of time you need before the next rep. So they're still getting high volume reps that they need for skill development.
00:38:11
Speaker
But they're also getting high volume reps of two men. Because if you go to a practice and they're explaining two men, there's four guys in, 21 guys, 20 guys, 18 guys, whatever, are watching.
00:38:22
Speaker
Yeah. Unless you have multiple cages and you're doing it and you have multiple coaches doing it. The eight-person group is like, it's four in, four out, four in, four out, four in, four out. Like, it's just... It's go, go, go. So you're not only you're doing two men, but you're doing it so much that it's going to stick. And that's like that's been a game changer for the last eight years or these kids are not they're going to school fully prepared as lacrosse player instead of just being a stud.
00:38:45
Speaker
Yeah, that's both. Yeah, they're they're situationally aware more so now. And then a big thing I always communicate to the high school coaches, if we're moving, we're learning.
00:38:57
Speaker
If we're losing our voice in practice, we're talking too much talking and they're not learning enough. yeah And the situational awareness going back to Vinnie Malt's podcast, i don't know if you've had a chance to interact with him through the Mastermind.
00:39:10
Speaker
He's the Edmonton Oilers player development coach, mindset coach. Awesome guy, but he's communicated to me that hockey is going through a lot of different challenges. There's a big drop off at U12.
00:39:25
Speaker
And so people are going the route of individual training, but then they're showing up to practice unprepared. Their skills are high, but situational awareness, their ability to us communicate and just kind of know of signal and all that lost. So you get these studs that are... That can't do anything. They can't put it together. Can't, yeah, can't put it together, can't join that team. So he's expressed that well. Which then their skill development means nothing. Yeah, you're a highly skilled person that can't...
00:39:55
Speaker
like you can't access it yeah because you don't know where to be or like you look at think it was teddy brewski like not a physically like big linebacker he was just always in the right spot at the right time he knew how to read things he was so prepared and where to be and if you're if you're where you need to be at the right time you're going to make plays right but if you're like kind of lost then you're out of And it's small windows that that you have to learn. And that the only way to learn that is to be in get high volume reps at it in a game so scenario, game situation. And like you said, it's situational awareness. And what I've noticed, and this is
00:40:36
Speaker
This has come to fruition because I'm in California or Texas and not to say that they're any less than the Northeast. The Northeast plays high level ball and they're just situated awareness is better because there's more volume.
00:40:49
Speaker
So what I've noticed in these small groups is that when we spend more time on that, they get better a lot faster because they understand the game better because the the talent, the talent or just the natural genes in California and Texas, you've got some athletes.
00:41:06
Speaker
but their understanding of the game is still a little bit behind. um And that's the big reason why I see, and that's what I tell kids all the time, and it has nothing to do with skill or talent or genes. It's the gap between high school and college For me, this was the gap, right?
00:41:25
Speaker
For a kid from Dallas or California, it's a little bit bigger because they have to learn how to make decisions faster. And if they haven't learned to make decisions at a high school level, now they have to make they have to learn the decisions and then make them really fast. And that doesn't that's ah that's a big gap to reach to get on the field at the D1, D2, or D3 level.
00:41:43
Speaker
Big time. And then that small group session, that's a hell of lot more fun than one-on-one being critiqued. You're competing. You're competing like all the time. Like, and, and another thing is like,
00:41:57
Speaker
If I did it perfectly, yeah, there'd probably 125 plus levels of like groups. like We put them in youth, middle school, high school, college, right? And then we move up kids where we see they should move up. Parents think their kids can move up all the time, but they don't see the sit situational awareness. They're not ready for that. They're not at that level yet. um And then they they just wait to get to that level. So like an eighth grade will wait till ninth grade to come train with me just because he can get in the high school class.
00:42:26
Speaker
you just wasted six months to a year where i could have caught them up so when they're in the high school class they're not just in that class they're actually excelling in that class um and that that comes back to consistency it and i'm trying to get these parents to understand like it doesn't matter who's next to you in this class like We're still working on skill development. And a lot of the drills that I do, I do youth all the way through.
00:42:48
Speaker
Like I'm introducing the drill to youth. We're doing it at a high level in high school, college, but I'm introducing to them early. So when they get there, they know that drill or that, what that, what their takeaway is that much better.
00:43:00
Speaker
So like they have to, They have to get out of the notion of like, oh, because I have this kid next to me that's not as good as me, it's going to affect my training. Why?
00:43:10
Speaker
Be intentional with your reps and you're going to get better. And what we do, since it's eight people, I might be coaching you something different than a little bit more of a beginner. But like take that. And I tell kids all the time, like my drills are simple.
00:43:24
Speaker
The intention is tough, right? So the drill is, i can i can explain a drill in five seconds, let's get going. I watch you a couple reps and then we get into the intention of the drill, right? Like, hey, you're doing this, this is what we wanna do. This is the small detail that's gonna separate you in a game, whatever it may be. But I always try to get the kids to be intentional with everything they're doing. And what I'm trying to teach them is like, when you go out on your own, don't just do anything.
00:43:52
Speaker
Like write it down, be intentional. Like what do you have to get better at? What's going to make you better in that skill development side or that drill that's going to translate to the field? Because
Addressing Burnout in Athletes
00:44:03
Speaker
there's not enough intention behind a lot of drills that I say.
00:44:07
Speaker
And I feel that that approach, that mindset to having intention and then tracking and writing it down, you're going to see more progress in the growth of your game. You're still doing the same drills from youth to high school, even all the way to pros, but now it dives deeper and deeper, which could potentially be a solution for burnout, which I do want spend a little time with burnout.
00:44:34
Speaker
is I mean, that that is the one of the biggest fears for everybody. And you've expressed to me that you had college coaches that if they see the same name at multiple tournaments at a certain age, they mark that name off because they've they've recruited that kid multiple times.
00:44:54
Speaker
And that kid as a sophomore, junior quits because they're burnt out. Or they're injured because they just put too much wear and tear on their body. They either are they they're always our injured reserve or they hate the game.
00:45:07
Speaker
I think it's... Again, i think that's a very individual thing. I think that's why it's so hard to track because some kids... can play play, play, play, and never get sick of it. And some kids can play, play, play and hate and hate it.
00:45:21
Speaker
um I always ask my kid, especially the kids that are really, really working and doing all the right things. Hey, do you still enjoy the game? You still have fun. It's very simple question.
00:45:32
Speaker
It gets a lot of answers. I ask coaches that. Yeah, you can see, you can see it. Now look at the end of the day, like we, if you want to play at a high level, there is going to be burnout along the way.
00:45:46
Speaker
That doesn't mean you hate the game. So burnout to me is like, I've been burnt out where I need to take a week or two off. Right? But I did.
00:45:57
Speaker
or i Or I played football and I didn't touch a stick for a couple months. um I think if you're going to chase that dream to play at a high level, you're going to experience some burnout at one point.
00:46:08
Speaker
It's just be honest with yourself and like, take a break, relax. And I, at that simple question will get it. I could see body language right away. They might say like, i yeah, I love it, but there's something, you know, and then like you talk to their parents, you're like, Hey, like,
00:46:22
Speaker
did they play any other sports? No, they're just full across. Their whole schedule is full. with i'm like, go play basketball. Go play a different sport. Go go hit the weight room for a couple months. like And just like focus on that for a little bit. Just to get them away from it and get that love back. Because, yeah, there I've seen it both. I've seen burnout to where it's like, I don't think there's recovery like they're to recover. They're just they're done.
00:46:43
Speaker
they just they They packed it up and they're done. And a lot of times they've packed it up and done and then they miss it. which is which is probably the best thing for them because they miss it and they come back and then they fall in love with it again.
00:46:55
Speaker
um But it's a really thin it's like a very narrow line that you have to kind of teeter because you have to work that hard. Burnout's going to happen, but you've got to be honest with yourself when that happens. Like,
Maintaining Passion through Play and Creativity
00:47:06
Speaker
what's the answer to that?
00:47:07
Speaker
And it's a case-by-case basis. Yeah, a lot of the kids, they don't have the the social emotional intelligence to realize like I had a bad day or that was a rough game. Like this isn't burnout. I just need a break. Yeah, this is yeah, this is it. Yeah, they just get in their heads a little too much about like one performance, which is, you know, like everything's the worst thing in the world when you're a kid. It's like it's not a big deal.
00:47:32
Speaker
It's okay. Yeah. um Yeah, I think that's i think that kind i mean covers it pretty well. i think it's just ah I always look at things as an individual case study. It depends on each athlete. But but the question stays the same. like Do you still love the sport? Because if you don't love it or you fell out of love with it, how do we find that love for it again? And usually the case is is like take a break or go go play another sport or go play go play in a fun tournament where it's not serious or you know like get back to like
00:48:05
Speaker
We play three-by all the time and like tennis ball. like stuff like just didn Just the roots of the game, just throwing the rock around like behind the bat, like just trying new things.
00:48:15
Speaker
yeah Just have fun with it. Don't worry about the outcome. I was a coaching college. we had a ah He played at Hobart. He was from Iracoin Nation. coach Now the head coach of the Puerto Rican national team. But he he read the room, and he just had a day where we just went shoes off, no gloves, no helmets, no nothing, medicine game, and he brought just an authentic a ball from his tribe.
00:48:44
Speaker
And then, I mean, the whole team played, so we had 50 dudes out there just just playing the
Individualized Coaching Approaches
00:48:50
Speaker
game, and it was amazing. It was the best. A lot more energy. Dudes that I saw were, you know, dog in sprints and all that. All of a sudden, the the life came back to It was a fun day.
00:49:00
Speaker
We try to get into some sort of play, free play, at the end of every class, every session. Last 10, 15, 20 minutes, we're three by, we have the four corner goal where we just you know mess around with that.
00:49:15
Speaker
But there's some sort of just live play and it's, I'm not coaching. I mean, I am. i shouldn't say I'm not coaching. Like I'll coach some some things on the side, but I'm trying to take myself out and let them, hey, guys, you can do flip pass, you can go behind the back, if it's the right spot, um you can go through the legs to score like have fun with it, just play freely. Because I don think a lot of these kids when they're in organized lacrosse, it's like, everything throw overhand, be considered like, it's like, it's like robotic, where like, if kids are going to get, you know, there's a there's definitely a fundamental box that we have to
00:49:53
Speaker
Check. But like if they want to explore as a player and that's the thing I love about lacrosse. and I've said this many times. It's a it's an a you have to express yourself and you express yourself through the game with free play. So we allow these kids to have that free moment of play after all this instruction and all these reps and all that stuff.
00:50:12
Speaker
Go play. Yeah, we'll figure out maybe and maybe our maybe our our thing is like, hey, we just worked on this throw one of these things and into the game. Mm hmm. In the situation that it that it requires if it if it does require that. So I think giving them the space to find their game because everybody, in my opinion, plays a little bit different. Yeah. To the to the to the person that doesn't play lacrosse, everything maybe look pretty similar.
00:50:36
Speaker
But someone who's played at a very high level, like I'm watching and everyone plays a different game. It's like golf. Yeah. to somebody who's not indoctrinated, looks the same.
00:50:48
Speaker
Well, you know what? I don't even hit my driver. The last two rounds I went out, I just played irons and it was the best rounds of golf I ever played. Oh yeah. Just by not hitting my driver. I'm three and I don't keep score, but I only play bachelor party. So I don't want to lose my temper. Time out.
00:51:03
Speaker
Tex here at trainheroic headquarters meeting with the team to talk about the coaching experience that I'm able to provide for my athletes. So if you're a coach and want to put your program out there on an app that athletes actually enjoy using, trainheroics for you. I've been using it since 2014. delivering literally over tens of thousands of workouts to athletes.
00:51:25
Speaker
And Train Heroic allows me to provide the unique coaching experience that I want to. Uploading video, providing coaching feedback, directions, and building a community. That's why I love Train Heroic. And if you want to take your athletes where they can't take themselves, that they want to go, head to trainheroic.com slash captains and check out how you can deliver programming to them.
00:51:47
Speaker
And now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and per
00:51:52
Speaker
Which leads me to to my my next question here, where i love I love the play. I love that aspect of it. And know my experience with kids and just that's that's where our intention lies is is play and we get to freedom to express ourselves.
00:52:09
Speaker
But within a box, um a lot of coaches, they they they feel they're coaching with intention, but then it's often leading with with a a lot of shame.
00:52:20
Speaker
So how do you help insulate kids to have the confidence to help them understand the difference between making a mistake and being a mistake?
00:52:35
Speaker
Um, who, uh, I think, and this is again, case by case, player by player. Some kids are going to need 10 reps.
00:52:46
Speaker
Some kids are going get two reps and get it. Um, giving them the space to fail. When I get frustrated as a coach, it's not it's never frustration to towards the kid. It's frustration towards myself that I can't communicate this quicker.
00:53:01
Speaker
And I don't think the kids understand that. They think sometimes I'm frustrated with them. And i I explain that to them and I tell them, I'm like, look, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad myself because I've taught this a million times and I've found different ways to reach each different individual. You're new. So for me, I go home and I lose sleep over it. Like, how did I, like, how do i reach that kid quicker?
00:53:22
Speaker
Um, and that's why I think I became a pretty good coach because now I can coach a million different individuals differently and they all get the same end result. Um, I think it's giving them the space to fail, but also,
00:53:37
Speaker
I think it's in it it's an attention thing. So like they're there, but they're not focused. So I worry more about being focused. If you're focused and making mistakes and you're just not getting it, it's not clicking, that's on me.
00:53:51
Speaker
If you are unfocused and you're just going through the motions and you don't want to be there and your body language shows me that, we're going to come down a little bit harder on you because hey you're here to get better be intentional but intentional about it be focused for the hour and like let's get some work done because you're just wasting right because like my whole thing is I want to lay a rep so like when we we do like program planning it's like we're here we want to be here in two weeks this should be a solid skill now that we can build off so I think I look at more of the individual whether they're focused
00:54:22
Speaker
um attentive. If they are, i give them as much space as they want. They could fail as much many times as they want because they're, they're trying hard. I can't be mad at that kid. But if you're like going through the motions or you have like a block where like you just think you can't do it, that's the time. Like, and that's a different situation too. Like if there's a kid that just doesn't want to do it and doesn't like, doesn't want to try like that kid, me and you are going to butt heads a little bit.
00:54:47
Speaker
If I see you really, really trying and hard not getting it, we'll figure it out. Um,
00:54:54
Speaker
Yeah, and I think that's, I think it's just individual based. Like for me, like when I was in school, like it took, if I read a chapter, i would read a chapter and then my mind would be somewhere else, the whole entire chapter.
The Book Writing Journey: Finding Purpose and Motivation
00:55:05
Speaker
I'd end that chapter i have no idea what I just read.
00:55:07
Speaker
I'd have to read it 10 times over. And that's how I had to go through school. I had to do everything ten x But that's what you have to do. so like, again, that goes back to that each individual.
00:55:18
Speaker
i tell kids all the time, I go, hey, that kid right there and you are different. Do not compare yourself with him. You're in competition with yourself. So if we're on the wall we're doing a competition and you get 50 reps in 60 seconds, your goal is to get 51. You don't care that he got 62. It doesn't matter. That kid might work an hour and get really good. You might have to work two hours to get as good as that.
00:55:41
Speaker
That's just being honest with yourself. I was that kid. I had to work twice, three times as hard as maybe the kid was just gifted with it that could pick things up fast. I wasn't that kid. So I just try to tell them or explain to them like, hey, if you were if you're wanting to reach ah your full potential and stuff, it might take you like, yeah, the 10,000 hour rule to master something or 10,000 rep or whatever it may be.
00:56:05
Speaker
It might take you 20,000. Are you going to do it or not? Like, that's what it comes down to. So I think that covers what you asked. Yeah. And then help.
00:56:17
Speaker
In following up, so now when an external force comes in to tell them that they can't do it, how would you help them build an internal voice to realize, yes I'm going to have to work three times as hard, and I can't?
00:56:34
Speaker
I don't ever tell a kid he can't do something. there's a I understand you you don't, but there's a lot of coaches out there that do. And so I struggle with this one because i I was told i can't do a lot of things.
00:56:49
Speaker
So I became the person that was always prove them wrong. That was my mindset. All right. Like it became like fuel. It was like, all right, I wanted more coaches. Tell me I can't do something because I'm going to do it even better than you imagined.
00:57:02
Speaker
Some kids don't have that built into their system. um I think at that point as a coach, you're just patient with them. Like you like you'd you can't allow anyone to tell you something.
00:57:15
Speaker
I'll be honest with kids. I'm not going to sugarcoat a kid that you know maybe not have the ability to play at a Division I level that wants to play at a Division I level. I'll give them a plan of action and say, like hey, if you really do, this is probably what it's going to take, and it's not guaranteed. right there's a I'll put a percentage on it. there's You do everything perfectly, you have 40% of chance making it arbitrarily. um Are they willing to put that work in and then we see what happens.
00:57:45
Speaker
But along that way, I'm honest with them, but along that way, they if they do it, they buy in, they might not get that D1 scholarship, but guess what? They grew as a human being through that journey.
00:57:56
Speaker
And then they realize, okay, I can do things. you know I can take what I learned from this journey. i didn't make it to that, but I put everything I had into it. I grew as a person. If I take this mentality to anything I do in life,
00:58:10
Speaker
I'm going to be successful. And that's the way I look at it. But I don't let anybody say I can't do anything. That's just crazy. I think I don't know how to build that into kids, but anytime a kid says, I can't do it, I'm like, oh, we're gonna do it. And I'm gonna show you that you can do it. And honestly, those are the best sessions.
00:58:30
Speaker
I almost, I don't want a kid to ever say I can't do it, but when they do say I can't, well, we're gonna prove to you right now that you can do it. And then we just push through that little uncomfortable phase I'm going to say 99% of the time we show them that they can do it in that session.
00:58:48
Speaker
And then all of a sudden you see that kid change. Yeah. Because it's just that one little, oh, yeah, I just had to put a little bit more focus into it or a little bit more, or where you gave me a cue that makes sense or whatever it may be.
00:59:02
Speaker
But you prove to them that they think they can't do something and then they can do it and they did it in 20 minutes, 10 minutes. They're like, okay. Well, that's how you do it. Yeah. So now you're providing that opportunity and then, I mean, reinforce that, remind them, hey, at the end of the session, you said that every time somebody tells you something, every time you tell yourself, this is what I want you to remember a little onto.
00:59:28
Speaker
So you are doing it, which is the... I do a lot of cool things, but I don't know what I'm doing with. half the time yeah which and winding down here i feel like if i just talk enough something comes out from my experience well that's why you wrote a book yeah exactly so we'll bookend the the podcast with with the book here and what just highlight the reflection because this went through many different edits it was an idea then it was on paper and now it's it's getting towards print.
01:00:01
Speaker
But that just is life. You took many different lessons from the experiences and the stories So just to to to wrap it all up and speak to us on just the the editing process of life that it is so valuable to you now that you've had time to actually put it down and edit it over and over again. Well, I guess we'll go back to like when I first started writing this book, I stared at the computer for about an hour straight.
01:00:26
Speaker
I wrote maybe a sentence, deleted it, wrote a sentence, deleted it, and had nothing to show for it after an hour. So then I promised myself 10 minutes a day write something. 10 minutes turned into 30 minutes, 30 minutes turned into an hour, hour turned into sometimes three hours on the computer writing.
01:00:41
Speaker
For me, this book process started as a grieving process. it was time for me to go through the steps of grievance to just get it off my shoulders, to talk about it, get it out in the world.
01:00:52
Speaker
During that time a lot of things came through. I wasn't a big gratitude guy. i went through my story again. i am grateful for everything that's happened to me. I'm grateful for the people that I've got to come across that have helped me along the journey. I'm grateful for the game. I'm grateful for the parents and players that I've gotten to coach and help through their journeys.
01:01:17
Speaker
My mom
01:01:20
Speaker
I told my mom I finished the book the other day and she her first thing was like, man, I wouldn't have thought of anybody in our family for you to write a book. And it's true. I told you. It took me 10 times to read a chapter to get one thing out of it. Like I just couldn't. what That wasn't me. I like i struggled to write two-page papers in high school.
01:01:41
Speaker
I struggled to write papers in height in college. Like I just wasn't a writer. I never thought I was. And that was probably my self-belief of me. can I couldn't do this. This isn't me. I can't do it. But it proves to yourself that if you be consistent with stuff and you just show up and you do 10 minutes or five minutes and then you just work that way, all of a sudden you become a writer in the process.
01:02:03
Speaker
And i started this like maybe four years ago, this book now, I started writing it and from where it was then to where it is now, I consider myself a writer or some better at it, we'll say. um And I'm a perfectionist and the process Like we'll go back to instant gratification. This wasn't instant gratification. There's four years of a grieving process. Like it was a tough process to write. It was a tough process to read what I went through over and over and over again.
01:02:35
Speaker
um I spent many days crying in front of my computer. um So for that, it was good on that part. i became a good writer over time.
01:02:46
Speaker
it didn't, I didn't become a writer because I wrote one day. i spent four years on this. um
Reflecting on Writing a Book for Helping Others
01:02:54
Speaker
And I think that's what anybody can take away is like good things don't happen overnight.
01:03:01
Speaker
It compounds with consistent effort and showing up and just doing. It's almost tricking yourself to being like, all right, I can't do this today. I'm a little bit better tomorrow.
01:03:13
Speaker
And then of sudden a year pass. You're like, all right, i'm i'm i I've gained momentum. and then two years, and then it's like, okay, it's done, but it's not where I want it to be. and then diving back into it getting stuck,
01:03:26
Speaker
Hating it, putting it away for a second, coming back to it, re-editing it. You're like, it's almost there. It needs a little bit more. And then like, it's just, then it's like, when you get to the point where I was like last week, it was like, all right, cherry on top now.
01:03:38
Speaker
I'm there. And then you just do it. I don't think about four years of my time. i just thought of like, that's how long it took. It takes what it takes. It it is what it is. Like, I would have loved to write the book in six months.
01:03:51
Speaker
Would have loved to. Because it would have been off my shoulders and done. It just... Things don't happen that way. And I think the product, because I took my time with it um and and put everything I have into it, I've gotten a really good product.
01:04:09
Speaker
I think it's like i I put it down there then. i'd like i was like, this is really good. And it's funny because when Cab brought it up to me and said like like all this stuff when I started telling my story like one mastermind, like I didn't think I had a story.
01:04:23
Speaker
And I remember one time i was driving home from the gym and Cab was like, let me tell you your story. And he told it to me. And Cab's a storyteller and he's just a good speaker. I'm like, that's a fucking amazing story. He goes, that's you. Like you did this. And I'm like, yeah, but I don't tell it like that or I don't think of it like that. I just was going through this journey.
01:04:43
Speaker
um But now that I put in my own words and have learned how to be a little bit better of a storyteller, like, I mean, it's a really good book. And that's on my own.
01:04:55
Speaker
I believe it's a good book. But now the other piece is it's going to help a lot of people. It's a book that the world needs. It's a book that these kids need. of age, it's a little dark, so it might be high school level above when they're more mature for it or ready for it. It's super dark, but it's a comeback story. And I think I want to sell copies because I want to help people.
01:05:20
Speaker
I don't care about New York's bestseller. I'd like, would that be cool? It'd be awesome. But if it is a New York bestseller, it's because it's helped a lot of people. Right. That's the more important part. I wrote it because I wanted people to get through tough times faster than I did.
01:05:38
Speaker
I think I accomplished that. Yeah. I mean, that's being a ah coach. Let's get these kids where we were and beyond faster. So it's it's a great parallel, great metaphor for, i mean, what you've built in the lacrosse bar.
01:05:54
Speaker
It's beautiful. Thank you. Well, let's let's let's call it there. I know you got a session here coming up, so I appreciate you taking time this morning. I'm in Dallas for a lacrosse game. That time change killed us both. Yeah, you are not wrong. It was a 4.30 morning, so 5.30 morning. and Yeah, but we we made it happen, man. So I appreciate you. Appreciate your time. and Yeah, man, love love the follow and everything you're building, and I look forward to these as as often as we can. can I mean, if it's a hundred every 100 podcasts, I'm not mad at that.
01:06:25
Speaker
So that's where we're sitting right it. appreciate it. Thanks for having All right. Well, I'd also look forward to the La Crosse Barn podcast. What are you going to call it? The La Crosse Barn podcast. Okay. So it's not just a clever name. Cool. All right. Well, we'll we'll let you go. Get back to it.
01:06:40
Speaker
Give this man a follow and and appreciation and pick up the book when it's ready. Cool? Thanks, man. All right. All right.