Transcript
Speaker: The joke is that you're having butt sex, but you're not actually doing it because you're not gay. you That's the joke. It's only funny because you're not. gay Yeah, it's only funny because you're not gay. Right. And the truth is, you look back at it now and you're like, I'd rather be gay than do this. Well, because the other another one, people would play like gay chicken. Oh, you want to play? oh gay chicken. like Yeah. That's just called gay. That's just it's just gay, dude.
Speaker: You want to play gay chicken? What's that? It's where I take my pants off and you suck my dick. you win i'll play all right man i'll play how do you win you'll know um are you when you got enough points yeah you'll know when you hit the high score believe me
Speaker: Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Sam. I'm Casey. And today we are joined by our friend, friend of the show, Mike Valdez.
Speaker: Hello. Welcome back, homie. I know. It's been too long, man. It's been too long. Too long, man. You really are a friend of it you're a joll you're a friend of the show, but you're a friend of us outside of as well. we Exactly. We've stayed in touch. We tell our jokes. We comment on each other's things. You live in Florida.
Speaker: i live in Massachusetts. It's almost like the yin and yang, really. It's like... A little bit, sure. Yeah. I mean, I live in i live in South Florida, which is North Cuba, so not really. But but Florida is where everyone Massachusetts goes when they retire, and they and that's where they go for the winter. Oh, is that what it is? yeah yeah. It might be like one military operation away from Cuba being South, South Florida.
Speaker: yeah That is very true. Yeah. very yeah It's a very disconcerting. um that Maybe let's not start there. I have something I want to share with you guys. Sure.
Speaker: Okay, so I've been traveling. ah we did ah We didn't do this trip last year, but I do like this annual trip to North Carolina. My wife has family there, and it's just easy to go and hang out for like a week, super relaxing. Yeah.
Speaker: We're all just one night hanging out late by the dinner table. My wife's aunt's there with us. This is the aunt that always gets, we always it's tradition for us to get into an argument that lasts until two in the morning about why I think what she believes is wrong.
Speaker: um remember this lady. And it was funny. like that we were up We were literally up until 2 a.m. one night. Everyone was like, what the what is wrong with you guys? I don't know. I can't walk away when people are saying things that I think are really dumb.
Speaker: So I have to say, I got respond and then she responds. She's cool overall all though. And yeah, no, I love her. She's absolutely wonderful. um She's really the only person that I can rate. Like I can, I'll talk to what I'll just talk the way I do here. I talked to her the way I talked to anybody like that. I actually feel like I have a rapport and relationship with like, there's no hiding, there's no masking. There's no like, well,
Speaker: beating around the bush. It's just honest and authentic. And I love people who allow me to be like that without playing like the... I'm like your elder card or some shit like that. So it's awesome. Nice thing to say. Now we'll put her on blast. Yeah, no, no. um ah And I actually am not putting her on blast. I'm not even going to get into the details of the discussion, but it was just funny. Cause she's like, I feel like we stayed, we stayed up till 2am and I feel like I didn't learn anything about like what you think. I go, that wasn't the goal. I didn't know that was even the goal of the night. I,
Speaker: you kept making assertions about what you, believe I don't have assertions about what I believe. I'm just here. Like, I don't, I have no fucking clue. I just know what I think that you're saying is wrong. And then, so I'll tell you why.
Speaker: So like, I think it's just funny that like, I thought the goal was for you to learn something about yourself. i don't i thought we I didn't know it was for you to learn about what I believe, because the answer is probably nothing, I guess. I don't know. So like you can't really build that. thought were fixing you. Yeah, can't build off that super good. But anyway, we're all hanging out one night and they start talking about like this old family like that this that lived next door to them. They used to live in Nebraska and they started getting into how these people were weird.
Speaker: And so we started asking follow-ups. They made some comments about the dogs. um Like these little, like, they made up in little shit zoos, these little small things. And what stuck out to me more than anything for the entire week, and it's going to stick with me for the rest of my life, is that that woman would sprinkle garlic powder on her dog's shit so she didn't have to clean up the shit. The dogs would just eat their own shit.
Speaker: Oh, Isn't that crazy? i mean, like I'm, so um' that's like living rent. That's been living rent free in my mind for the past week. It's one thing when the dog is eating their own shit, but to season it for the dog. Yeah. is
Speaker: Is insane. to just mix up a little salt water, put a garlic clove in there, just give it a nice brine, you know? Yeah. You put a little, like one of those little flowers on it, get a nice little garnish.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. a radish blossom. Isn't that insane behavior? Like, you're not... If you do that, you're there's ah like you don't need to know anything else. You can just assume that like there's other things that are fucked up about this person. I mean, yeah, but to a dog, she's like the Rachel Ray of dogs. You eaten at this restaurant before? This shit's amazing. She should have an end cap at Target.
Speaker: yeah ah Are the dogs still alive? and she like i don't know. They might have. I think one of them died. i was like, was it from E. coli? That's insane. Like that can't be healthy. I mean, look, a dog is going to eat whatever because dogs just unfortunately don't have the brain with to be like, I shouldn't eat this. Like they're just like, I just want to eat, you know? And, but that's the thing. It's like, that's, that's just,
Speaker: I don't I don't know, man, because it's sort what happens because if you're like, we all know that, like if you're in the desert and you're dying of starvation, you as a person and you just you're excited to see where this one goes. Yeah, I'll pee. You go, I'm going to pee in this cup and I'm going to drink it to stay hydrated. That only lasts so long. Each time it comes out a little thicker and a little more yellow, eventually it's just glugging out like it's just like motor oil coming out of the tip of your dick. I feel like I've never heard anybody say, you can eat your own turds for survival purposes. That's not where I'm going with this. That's very different drinking pee. That's not where I'm going with this. Also, drinking your own pee, the more it turns into a concentrate, doesn't it taste better?
Speaker: i yeah if you like it you like all it's when you would get those like juice canisters from the freezer and like put water in it to make juice for the week those yeah are great from concentrate but imagine that but it's your piss Eventually you're just like actually pissing out like gummy worms. It's just like, yeah, like you have to force it out after a while. It's like, honestly, you have the end of your P stream and just pull it out. Like it's like, fly I haven't heard one thing that's a bad thing so far. but before we get Before we get lost, before we totally lose the plot, I'm not suggesting it's cool to get your shit for survival. Of course not, but it's not. That's what Casey... Casey, stop. All right. i Because we're going to lose it, and i'm gonna we're going to leave this, and I'm going to think about this at 3 a.m. that I never finished my train of thought on this.
Speaker: It...
Speaker: ah Just out of sheer curiosity, if a dog keeps eating their dumps, like ah eventually i would think their dumps would get like firmer and more compact like right over time.
Speaker: Just like you know your pe reduces. it's a You're making a piss reduction when you're surviving the desert. Eventually, does this star have the most efficient shit of all time? That's what I'm wondering.
Speaker: I mean, I'm not a scientist, but I would assume that whatever like toxic gases that you're that are inside of your manure or whatever it is that you're pooping. Right.
Speaker: And you eat that and then it becomes more toxic and then you eat that. It just becomes more toxic. So that's why it kills you. Yeah, that's, you know, for. Yeah. And that could be then that maybe that.
Speaker: Maybe the dogs are dead from this. I don't know. Maybe it feels cruel. That feels like a psychopathic thing to do. Of course. How how can you be? You're too lazy to pick up dog shit. So instead you bring out a can of garlic powder. It's an Adam Sandler movie character. Yeah, that is.
Speaker: That's the search to be in a TV show. That's hilarious. I just keep thinking about this as a survival scenario. You know, it's like you die of you die of thirst in like six days or whatever, right? It takes a month to die of starvation. So, and the more, the but the hungrier you are, the less you're going to poop. So they're applied. That kind of implies that you got to have some sort of storage method.
Speaker: Like you're, you're dumping them in a specific spot. Cause you're like, might need that someday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're digging little holes and like, you're like packing them with salt.
Speaker: Like it's a ham and the you know t bun throw in Yeah. yeah You'd take it up and all the dogs ate it already. You're like, oh man.
Speaker: They beat me to it. Now you have to eat the dog. That's the food chain. There you go. That's true. And you're not even eating the dog because you want the dog. You're just eating the dog because it ate your shit. And you're trying to eat the shit. You know? You're just trying to get in the get at the candy center. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: it's literally It's like an organic Tootsie Roll. It's just like, yeah let me just chomp. to how many How many chomps does it take to get to the center of this dog?
Speaker: Ask Owl. So I, you know, you did say that you were on vacation and I always love to ask this for anyone who's ever been on vacation, which is while you were on vacation, how many lives did you save?
Speaker: um What was the conversion rate? If you will, if you count me just following my one year old around so he didn't, you know, fall down a flight of stairs or something, I would say at least one. ah yeah I would say daily I save a life.
Speaker: Just by being an active parent, you know, so that's nice. It makes me feel pretty good about myself. um Outside of that, i I, I think I only lost a couple, you know, right?
Speaker: There you go. A few didn't make it. But, you know, that was mostly due to negligence, vehicular negligence. It happens. it's so interesting how when we grew up, like every situation that we had that was social was like, this is just a reason for us to talk about taking somebody to church or like, you know, this or that or the other thing. And amount of guilt for just like going to a Dunkin Donuts and like just asking for your order and going back to your car, like, just like it's just insane you know but all the missed opportunities yeah it's funny because like I was um was I I something I've been doing since maybe March I I've been kind of on this like health journey like weight loss journey and and I walk every day I walk five miles a day and one my one of the things that I do I I have a path that I walk and As I was walking, I saw these cute girls walking towards me. Are you like an ant where if like something goes on your path, like from a bug's life, you just like stop.
Speaker: You just can't, you you can't keep walking. You just stop and cry. No, no, no. That's good. That's good. youre No, like great I kind of just, it's, it's really funny. Something I noticed, and this is a visual bit. I can't necessarily do much for the listening audience, but I'll explain it to you guys as buddies. But like the thing that I've noticed, cause like, majority of of the people that I that i know and have walked by by in my life since I was a kid is like mostly like Latins and black people like that's that's it like very few white people and the thing that I've noticed and because like I do this every day and as a comedian you start to notice the things that you do and the things that other people do and you know whatever because you're trying to make fun of everything And one of the things that I noticed was like majority of the time, whenever I see like a Latino person or like a black person, I'm just like, I i do the the head nod, like the what's up head nod, or I do this.
Speaker: And like, and they're always like, I acknowledge you, you know, whatever. And the moment I see a white person, i go yeah Which is like oh yeah which is like the the half smile of like, I acknowledge your presence. Please leave me alone. Which is insane that I do that. it leaves that too There's something super disarming about that one, too. Like, it feels like it feels not. I don't know if it's really disarming. I know that one because I do that one. Yeah.
Speaker: To where you're like, just like um a smile. It's like the smile and the lowering of your head a little bit. And then the quick drift away with the eye, like you quickly drift the eye contact away because you can't overdo it. Like, yeah, it's non it's nonverbal code switching is what I've noticed that I've been doing. Yeah, it is like by not talking. I'm also like also like saying hello three different ways, which is so weird. It's so weird. But anyway, these these two girls are walking towards me and, you know, and and I'm walking and i'm and I'm like, whatever, you know, if they.
Speaker: and by you know, you don't you don't talk to anybody if unless they they look like they're going to talk to you. And they came up to me and like, you know, I have my headphones in which, you know, for the most part, headphones are just like it's the universal it's the universal social like, please leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you, you know, whatever. But they came up to me and they talked to me and I'm like, well, you know, I've always always been like, look, you don't want to be rude to a lady, you know, whatever. So I took off. my headphones and they were like hi we wanted to invite you to the church of latter-day saints and i was like oh they pretty ones now ah cool should have given them the closed mouth grin and the nod i was like oh no and what was crazy too is one of these girls they had and i And I say this with so much love, but they this girl had what I call tractor beam eyes, which are just like these like eyes that are so beautiful that like you look into them and and you almost feel like like when doctor when the girl from Doctor Strange punches you and like you go outside of your body for a second. like Whoa, like is that a person? yeah um
Speaker: And the only other person I've ever met that has that in real life is Amber Heard. um And that's insane, right? like Like, when I was out in LA, I had who used to work for UPS and I met and she was the person that had a mailbox at the place.
Speaker: And every time I looked into her eyes, I'm like, man, she has these eyes where if you fall into her trap, you can pretty much do anything she tells you. I wasn't wrong. And You let one of those girls poop in your bed. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I don't want any of these girls to poop in my bed. And my dog has to eat I don't have enough garlic for that. Yeah, you don't have enough garlic powder in the world. I have plans for my garlic. Yeah. I have no idea how much garlic powder a human shit needs.
Speaker: Well, ask your aunt or whoever it was. It depends. It did it. She's the one that calls the... She's the re-croy of the dog industry or whatever.
Speaker: ah Mike, what have you been up to, man? Dude, it's so funny because I, you know, if I'm being completely honest with you, I'm i'm probably having the best year of my life. You've been hooking up with Christina P. after the divorce. no No. Moving in. First of all, everyone knows I've been hooking up with Tom. and It's you, Tom, and Bert.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Just dead-eyed thrusting. Yeah, two bears, one. One, Mike. But so, no, no. You're just the cave in that scenario. Yeah, I am the cave. no I No. get that two whole days in my cave.
Speaker: No, I have been I've had a really good year. Like I've just been booking a lot, which is really great just as an actor. And like something that is something that's really interesting is like, you know, for honestly, if I'm being completely vulnerable, it had probably been four years before I had like booked anything of significance that made me any money. And yeah this is like, you know, the first time where like I'm booking consecutively and I'm getting good things. And, you know, there's a couple of things that that ah that have come out that are great. Like I did. I did a few things for the World Cup that was really fun. i got to work with Walmart.
Speaker: And and a couple of soccer players and, you know, things like that. And that was really cool. um And um and doing comedy, which was really great, you know, like um and and so that was really fun. And there's some other stuff coming up that I can't really talk about on air, but um it's with Adidas. I could say that. um And it's really it's it's a really big thing. And then um and I'm also choose is that I can see where this is coming.
Speaker: Is it the what now? Their new walk-in shoes? no That's your thing? um No. i will i will say this. It does have to do with shoes, um but ah which which i'm pretty sure you could you could guess if it's ah if it's an Adidas thing.
Speaker: But um yeah, so I'm doing that and then um showcasing for CBS this week, which is really cool as well. What's that? What is showcasing? What does that mean?
Speaker: So essentially what it is is they just um so I go in and I do um like I have ah you you pick like different scripts for their for it's like a pilot season essentially. So they're just like here's a script for a procedural drama for a comedy pilot program for this or that or the other thing and then they take you through and then you go out to l la and then you work with a bunch of casting at cbs and if they see you fit for something that's on their network or gonna be on their network then they cast you for it and that kind of thing like which is great too um they also know that i'm a stand-up comedian um that's not really going to help because cbs took off all of their late night shows so it doesn't really matter um i can't really do stand up on on a colbert or anything you know but uh but yeah like oh yeah they're they get none left huh Yeah, yeah. they There's Fallon, which is great, you know, but like- Sure, we can say that. i mean i mean, ultimately to to me, i I love The Tonight Show. And like, the funny thing is, is as a comedian, I want to do The Tonight Show because I'm a comedian, not because I want people to see my stuff or because it's going to get me any kind of notoriety. It's literally just because I want to be able to put on my resume that I've done The Tonight Show. It's it's a me thing. Like, it's like it has nothing to do with anything. Because like, ah who does the Tonight Show? I never remember the difference. Like, remember. So the Tonight Show is the Tonight Show is Jimmy Fallon. And then and then Jimmy Kimmel is ah is Jimmy Kimmel Live. It's just it honestly, it's just the Jimmy's, I think. Yeah.
Speaker: Conan's still around, though, isn't he? Conan has this podcast, which I love Conan and I love his podcast, but um he's not really having like up and comers on this podcast usually. so yeah, I feel like he's kind of a universally loved guy. Yeah, he's yeah amazing. Yeah, everybody loves Conan. And if you didn't love Conan and you watched his hot ones, now you do. You know what I mean? So like, like just, yeah, he's honestly one of the funniest people ever. Like and and like, i love I love pretty much anybody that is like, that comes from The Simpsons, you know? So like, so like I love Conan, I love Dana Gould, and and you know Greg Daniels, like who who ended up creating The Office, and Parks and Rec, and like all these great shows. But like all these people came from The Simpsons, so like it's just, you know...
Speaker: Funny enough, like that, that show, it was really funny. A friend of mine sent me this article that they were like, they're Disney's thinking of ending it at 40 seasons. And I was like, honestly, if you're going to end it, 40 is a great year to end it at. Because like, and, and he was like, my daughter did not feel the same way that you did. Like, just like, and I was like, look, man, like ultimately I want them to end it while all of the actors are still alive and don't hate their job. Um, and i want it. And I also just like and and there's already been some people that have phased out of it because they're they were old and they passed away. So like now there's people there's there's voices that don't exist anymore. There's characters that don't exist anymore. Like Millhouse doesn't exist anymore. You know, so like it's just really.
Speaker: Yeah, dude. It's yeah, it's it's wild. It's wild. But that's that's the thing, too, is like i I have said this and I'll never stop saying this. I think The Simpsons is like SNL. Like, I think I think everybody has a specific year that they like more than others. And people like the fact that it's still on, even though they don't watch it.
Speaker: yeah You know what I mean? yeah like because Because the thing is, the constant in my life is that SNL is on TV and the Simpsons are on TV. If they're not on TV, then life isn't life anymore. you know and so and And that's really what it is as opposed to I'm watching it every week or whatever. You know, yeah.
Speaker: I mean, imagine people are still tuning in when one hundred percent when everything like breaks down to the almighty dollar. Right. Yeah. You got to get those views. Yeah. 100 percent. Like, I mean, my um so my my friend, his his daughter is 13 and she's been watching The Simpsons since she was a kid and she's been watching the newer version. But like, that's her Simpsons. That's so crazy. Yeah. and To me. But to me, that's insane. Because like to me, The Simpsons is not is like the first 10 years. You know what i mean? Like the first 10 years or the first 15 years are really the Simpsons. And then like then the other ones are just like, oh, like it's a comedy show that has Bart Simpson in it. You know what I mean? like It's not really the Simpsons anymore. But to be fair, man, like, you know, it's yeah, like everybody has their era, you know, of of that. Just like how when you watch SNL. There's people that are like, I'm a Belushi person or I'm a Will Ferrell person or I'm a Marcelo Hernandez person or like whatever, you know, hor ratio sans. Yeah. Horatio sans. Like everybody's got their person, Tina Fey, you know, whatever. So had to throw a woman in there. So, yeah, Tina Fey does rule.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't want to i don't want anybody on in your podcast listenership to be like, he only named men. You know, i I know female comedians as well, you know, so that are very funny. It's nice that like the men still let women do comedy. I appreciate that.
Speaker: ah That is true. When you when you think about it, the the arbiter of all things comedy is Lorne Michaels. And so technically a man is letting a woman do comedy. I think it's Tony Hinchcliffe now.
Speaker: yeah Is it really? It's the mothership. Don't get me into this. Everything is in a state of decay. I don't like, look, man, I don't like talking about, don't like talking about this stuff on podcast, but, but you said, you said the right words. Okay. You said the right words. And here's the thing. I, I personally am like, I just, and I don't know how you guys feel about it. And I don't know how your audience feels about it. but I think Tony Hinchcliffe has turned comedy into a circus. Um, and think that that guy, is his ego is way too big for him to think that he's as funny as his brand. Um, I think that his brand is much bigger than he is. And he gets confused as to being him that anybody cares about as opposed to the show. Um, yeah. And, uh, the truth is
Speaker: like yeah like kill tony's just american idol but if it was just the people that everyone like if it was just the first week of american idol the whole time yeah you're making fun of people in banana suits you know what i mean and you're like and you watch it and you're like oh so like nobody good is gonna be on this yeah yeah that's notly it the funniest comedy comedy related thing lately was um Oh, that I forget the lady's name, but the the lady who wrote douche on ah Jeff Dye's Cybertruck.
Speaker: That's funny. and He treated it like it was a hate crime. Of course. Last cowboy in L.A. yeah that's that's that's a bummer man i i don't know i don't know jeff die personally i do know that a lot of people do not like him there's a few magic words you can say and he'll just show up and start giving you shit though Really? Is that true?
Speaker: That's funny. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know anything about him. But like, yeah, I mean, he seems. Yeah, he seems like a guy that that's got a lot going on.
Speaker: I'll just say that. I just I don't know. I I'm very I'm very weird about how I talk about people on podcasts just because. Yeah, it's understandable. Because the truth is they're your coworkers, you know, like and those and the truth is like you would want them to respect you just like you're respecting them, you know, and like and and especially the last thing I want, even especially as an actor, much because people take themselves even more seriously in the acting business. is the, the moment I start talking crap about an actress or an actor that I don't, that I don't like two years later, I'm going to get he'd cast in a movie with them and they're going to be like, I heard you on this podcast like writing on the daily wires, new animated series. Yeah.
Speaker: why it's the bear but you're working in a christian bookstore um that is hilarious is that a joke are you telling the lamb actual is that the real thing No, I don't think the Daily Wire is going to be making anything. That's a great joke, man. That's dude that's that's so funny. Call it the lamb. That's so good, dude.
Speaker: and Oh, my gosh. That's really funny. So it that we live like in vicinity. Right. Like these those are the kind of things that like a sketch is born from conversations like this. Yeah. little Instagram reel. That's funny.
Speaker: Dude, I had a great sketch idea. And if you if you can figure out how to do it, listener, by all means, do it. Just give me a little bit of credit for having written it for you. But um the idea, have you ever seen those videos of like people at the grocery store? And there's a guy that just comes up to them and goes, hey, just let me check something real quick. And then he pays for their groceries.
Speaker: You ever seen those? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like those like Hope Core videos or whatever. Hope Core. i wanted I wanted to make a video like that. I wanted to make a video like that. But it's me going up and being like, wait, let me check this real quick. And then I do it and my card declines.
Speaker: I like that. And then they're like, and they're like, sir, it was, sir, it was declined. And you're like, oh, just let me try another one. And then you try it. It was declined. And then I start fighting with the person like I can pay for my groceries. No, no, no. I want to do this for you. I want to do this you. And then it just becomes like a Tim Robinson sketch where like you don't want to you don't want to admit that you don't have the money to help people. yeah that would be great.
Speaker: I love it yeah it. So, dude, you've had... ah let' had a great year. You've been busy. You've been working. um good ah That's awesome, man. I'd love to hear that. what's um Is there... Because you said you've been doing more... so like You've been like booking stand-up pretty pretty regularly. How often are you able to get up and perform? I'm doing stand-up um pretty often. um I'm mostly... like Majority of what I'm doing, because I don't really do like a lot of open mics. I mostly just do... like
Speaker: showcases like at the at the improv and like things like that and you know when part of part of the journey of this year as well is is like which is a great thing that i'm booking a lot as an actor and things like that is that I really feel like there needs to be a change in location for me. Just because I kind of feel, i kind of feel like I'm, I'm a little bit over doing standup here in, in Miami. And, and, you know,
Speaker: there's a possibility of New York. There's a bigger possibility of LA, but it really just depends on work and and the amount of money that I can accumulate. And, and also like if I'm able to have a consistent job, you know, over there.
Speaker: Yeah. way The rent's frozen New York, man. So now's a good time. Is that, is that true? I didn't know that. Yeah. Mom Donnie got the, he got like a two year freeze on the rent. Wow. That's cool.
Speaker: That's also only three hours for me, man. So we might go to meet IRL if you hit ah if you hit New York. Yeah, for sure. I mean, i there's there's a possibility that I'll be there for work. ah I don't know that for sure.
Speaker: But, um you know, like I said, these are things I can't talk about on air, but i would be happy to talk about them at off air. Um, but yeah, I mean, there's, there's a lot of cool stuff shooting out in New York. Um, and then, you know, there's some, obviously there's a lot of great places to do standup in New York and a lot of great places to do standup in Los Angeles as well. So yeah, man, lot of places uh, to spread the word of God, you know?
Speaker: so which like in a way I am kind of doing, you know, if, if, if the word of God is just like treat people with kindness and like try not to, you know, be a douchebag all the time.
Speaker: you know Kind of depends on who you ask. Yeah. Sometimes it's marry your dead brother's wife and don't come outside of her on the sheets. Yeah. Sometimes it's that.
Speaker: And at no point should you ask that question to Christians, by the way. um But. Now, ah okay. I do have a question for you because I i i read this really fun article about this wonderful couple. And I'm just kind of wanting you to like enter into like, like what would I do in this scenario? Kind of sure.
Speaker: So you're hitting New York or l LA, you're making the big move and you are, you you're, you're, you're, you got the window seat, you know, that you know, there's two, there's two, you know, two seats next to regular size plane, right? Window seat, two more to the right of you. And, and you see this beautiful couple, mid thirties, both fairly attractive, um,
Speaker: And the woman lifts up her shirt and starts breastfeeding her husband. What would your reaction be? I think what would you do? What would Jesus do? Actually?
Speaker: Well, who would who I mean, Jesus would turn that milk into wine, but um but ah but ah I don't have those powers. um i more than likely would do one of two things, which one is nothing like just like just like looking straight looking out the window. You got the window seat, man. You could just stare out that window. Yeah, like I would just i would just ignore it. Or i would look at it and pretend like I'm like i'm not seeing it. It's it's so it's so weird. like It's like, i don't know how to explain it, but it's it's like... it's Like you look through it almost.
Speaker: yeah like it's like it's like seeing something because because let's be completely honest here it's gonna feel like you're looking at something you shouldn't be looking at so like when you look at it you're gonna be i wonder why it's gonna feel because you shouldn't be nobody should be that should not be happening in on a plane it should never be it's like it's like when you see a dude catching print on at the mall or something you know what i mean you know what i mean by catching print I don't.
Speaker: So when you see a dude, like you can see the outline of his hog and his pants. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? His gray sweatpants. I love that. Gray sweatpants show. you like You see this dude catching print you know on ah at the mall and you're looking at it and you're like, I know I shouldn't be looking at it, but this is impressive. You know what I mean? so like I can't stop looking at looking at this because like what he has isn't what I have.
Speaker: You know what I mean? so like so at ah at a point ah You look at it and you're scared because you're like, I shouldn't look at it. But then like the scientist in you it's like is like, wait a second. The scientist that pulls out a magnifying glass. Yes. Yeah. Well, i you feel so depending on, on who it is that you're looking at, you would need a magnifying glass, yeah but, but yeah, you would, but yeah, that's probably what it would be is I would look, I'd get a little shocked and I'd be like, okay, here's where the rubber meets the road. Do i want to look at this again? And like, really see what's going on, you know? And then you look again and then, and then you, you, maybe you get scared because
Speaker: Because you're like, because this is also my thought. This is also my thought. You look and you see breastfeeding and you're like, oh, shouldn't be looking at that. And then you look then you like, wait a second. Is that a man? And then you go. oh and And then you go, well, I got to check a third time to make sure that that's an adult man and not a child that just like like this is some sort of Robin Williams and Jack situation, you know. And so like you look again and you're like, that is a grown man. Like, you know, and then he took his teeth. out first yeah he took his took his teeth out and then you look and then and then if you and then if you're a certain kind of person you can either ignore it or figure out what's a way that i can sneakily take my phone out and record this because this is very strange and no one's gonna believe me um i found this story on instagram i did google it this is a real thing
Speaker: To make sure it was real. You guys can you guys can do a quick go. I Googled it and I saw other like not just Instagram, like other websites sharing this story. okay So give it a quick search while I read through what I, just the, the original post that I saw. I'm taking face value. This, it says, uh, there's the, they're from, uh, Tampa, Florida. So that's course sister ah your people.
Speaker: another mary the marriage is a different That's a different animal. that's Those are, those are the people that I, that I do the smile at, you know, It says a married couple from Tampa, ah Florida was removed from a Delta flight and later banned by the airline after flight attendants said the wife appeared to be breastfeeding her husband during the flight.
Speaker: The incident happened Monday evening on a flight from Atlanta to Las Vegas, according to a report. From airport police, 34-year-old Lauren Mitchell and her husband, 37-year-old Eric Mitchell, were seated in row 16 when a crew member noticed several passengers looking uncomfortable in trying to move seats.
Speaker: A flight attendant told the officers she approached the couple after seeing Lauren with her shirt pulled over Eric's head. The crew member said there appeared to be milk visible on Eric's mouth when he sat back. He had a mustache? Wow. A little dribble.
Speaker: Reporters say Mitchell said we never get this treatment on Southwest Airlines. Yeah, they used to do this on Spirit. Yeah, right. He's not an option anymore. Police said the couple initially laughed, but the situation escalated when Eric allegedly argued with the crew, saying he was just hungry and did nothing wrong.
Speaker: What? The captain requested law enforcement meet the plane when it landed in Las Vegas. Both were detained at the gate for disorderly conduct and interfering with crew instructions, but were released several hours after questioning. Yeah.
Speaker: Delta confirmed the couple was placed on its internal no-fly list pending review. I could be... I was just hungry. was just hungry. I could be completely wrong here, but, like...
Speaker: Isn't i I have, I don't know if I heard this or if I'm making it up, so I'll be completely honest with you, but isn't, isn't the nutrients that are in breast milk, like wouldn't those nutrients, if you had them as an adult, like they would like eventually give you like type two diabetes, right? Because like you're getting like too much nutrition.
Speaker: Like you're getting too much sugar. that could be That could be true. I don't know. But I think it sounds believable. Neither do I. I'm pretty sure I'm making that up. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm making that up. It would be perfect if you were saving your poop for survival.
Speaker: Yeah. yeah so You just wash your shit down with breast milk and it balances everything out. Your problem with your deserted island scenario is that you didn't bring Lauren Mitchell. That's what your problem is. Do you guys think the boys got them into this? Do you think he watched the boys and was like, hey...
Speaker: I have an idea. highly doubt that somebody that drinks breast milk from their wife's teeth as an adult is getting it from watching a television show.
Speaker: No, like, like if you're that crazy, you're that crazy. You know what mean? She would have ran a pump and then handed him the bottle. Yeah, and that's a great point. I've seen that done before. That's a great point, Casey. I was going to bring that up because if you're really hungry, you could just pump on a plane. No one can stop you from doing it. She could pump and give him a bottle or a sippy cup, or he could put it in a thermos. Drink it straight from the pail.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like if you were hungry, there are other options like you're not like the air. First of we we're all, like we're acting like airports don't sell food. This is insane. This is insane. Wait for the pretzel. Like, dude, that yearre here you are acting like there is not a stewardess who is bringing you a Diet Coke and a snack in five minutes. Like, I mean, that's ridiculous.
Speaker: Like, you can get a Nature Valley bar at the freaking kiosk. Like, what are we doing? give those crunchy, crusty-ass things out on the plane. I've never been on a plane and not offered, like, a nature, one of those dry-ass, sawdusty Nature Valley. Yeah, yeah, the bird food snacks, as I call them. Yeah. It's bird food.
Speaker: Always go cookies. Yeah, dude. mean Yeah, but then the cookies, you get the, what is it? Mr. Miss something. What's the, what's the brand? It's in red letters. Mrs. Fields.
Speaker: I don't think it's that. It's the Biscoff cookies. Biscoff is great. Those taste great. i mean yeah go great with some fresh some breast milk yeah whenever whenever i have a biscoff i'm like man some nice titty juice would be really good yeah if she pumped handed him the bottle and then he dunked his biscoffs in it and yeah i mean there's just nothing to i bet he just i bet he just flicks against the nipple until it gets the right amount of wet yeah
Speaker: He's over there just pinching and squirting. Yeah. That boob is a little layer. That's America's favorite cookies. America's favorite titty or whatever, right? Oreos are like America's favorite titty. What if he offered somebody else a sip? What if he was like, you want some? Like, yeah, that was his face out from the shirt. Just a little milk dribble. Do you want some? I mean, I'm not selfish and she's got a big supply.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I think the thing that I'm thinking of as well is like which, you know, i'm I'm not a woman, so I don't know what's going on or what's going on with the female anatomy in this regard. But like if you're if you're making milk, don't you have a kid?
Speaker: And now that kid is going to starve because your husband had to eat. You know what i mean? ah It's possible that the kid's older and that they just kept... It's possible that the kid is 32 and her... My guess... but here's is If I had to guess, it's that... um his is his infatuation with this happened after having a kid, right? Sure.
Speaker: So you have the kid, mom's breastfeeding. he's They're fooling around, ah gets a little bit a little bit of titty milk in his mouth, and he's like, I really like this. It gets me gets me real hard. And then... the babies, you the, they wean the baby, but yeah as they're weaning the baby, dad's just ramping up. And so once you just, you could just keep, you could just keep her do as long as, as long as you don't like, like slow down, i think you could just keep that shit going.
Speaker: Okay. Well, I mean, I guess you're right because there are, as far as I know, there's also moms that like freeze their breast milk and give it to other mothers. And like, they make money off of that sometimes. Yeah.
Speaker: I didn't know there was a black market for it, but I got a bunch of it in my freezer. So going to look it up because I can make like 10 bucks a bag right now. Yeah, i'm pretty I'm pretty sure that's a thing. bet you can make way more like a kink club though.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. I was going to say 10 bucks is pretty cheap. um Yeah. What sort of, ah if you had breast milk, what sort of cheese do you think you would make with yours?
Speaker: I feel like mine might don't know different cheeses. Titty cheese, dude. Titty cheese. What's the one that's that's like chunks floating in juice? Cottage cheese. Cottage cheese? No. that ricotta? Ricotta's like chunks in juice? Ricotta's so good. It's sweet, too. Mine would be like a Dr. Pepper that's been outside for a long, long time, and it separates into layers.
Speaker: I didn't know that happened to Dr. Pepper. That's your breast milk? There's a layer for all 23 ingredients. Mine's going to be sweet. Mine will give you diabetes for sure. yeah for sure One thing's for sure. will say when i I was on a mission trip to Jamaica when I was like maybe...
Speaker: 18 19 years old and were there at the same time were were we really guaranteed uh i was a little younger um i was probably 16 when really make up but yeah that's awesome yeah we just took to jamaica We went, dude, it was was awesome. We were missionaries and like everywhere we went, they would always offer us weed. They were like, we know they were like, oh, the missionaries are here. What you want to buy some weed? Like we can't do that. Got any breast milk? Got any breast milk? Yeah.
Speaker: We always did ask for breast milk. No. um The, um but the reason why I bring this up is because there was, there was um a chaperone who was there, who was pregnant and. she road was there no there was a just chaperone that was there. and um she was, she had, she had a given birth to a child and she was breastfeeding. And,
Speaker: She was she was a little rascal, you know, so she would like she one of the things that she liked to do was like squirt her titty milk on people. um And she, wanted to be fair, to be fair, she didn't do that to the boys because obviously it would have been the best day of my life. had she done that But dude, at 17 and having never taught having never held a girl's hand, I would have loved that. That would have been some weird sexual imprinting. that way yeah know Now that I look back at it, thank God that that didn't happen. You would have been getting, you would have been that Tampa man on the plane, dude. Yeah, dude. That would have been nuts. But I still remember, I still remember this and I won't forget it because, because you guys know i'm much I love cereal.
Speaker: and And these, she had little kids. And one of the things that she would do is she would like squirt her titty milk in, in in the kids mouths. it has This is a crime. What is happening? What?
Speaker: I mean, they're her own, they were her own kids, but she would just squirt in there in front of other people. Like, they're like you know like a cat kit yeah, they would catch it. They would catch it. And then, and then, but, but, and we didn't see any of this, but at least I didn't. And then was talking about it.
Speaker: They were, How old are these kids? if you' older They're like three three or four years old. If you're old enough to ask for it, then you're just too old. If you're old enough to be like, mama, can I suck on your boobies? You're like, no.
Speaker: Mama, I'm hungry. Get a snack. I'm not lifting my shirt up for you to suck my tits. You can't order off the kids' menu anymore. One of the kids was like, it tastes like cereal milk.
Speaker: and I was like, oh man, that sounds great. yeah like Even to this to this day, I'm like, honestly? it'd be pretty awesome to have some teddy milk for sure you just the next day they just find you dressed up and like exactly like one of her kids you got like your knees on my knees yeah yeah yeah and you're like mama i'm hungry dwarf on breastfeeding dude we were it's so it's just so funny how like because now i now i look at it you know you you look back at some of the things that you did in like missionary trips and you're just like this is like like the fact that this was considered a christian trip is insane you know what i mean like like it's like there was a thing that we used to do the boys would would do all the time it's like
Speaker: we would do this thing called jackhammering you guys remember did you guys oh my god yeah forgot about that dude you know what's so funny is how many people jackhammered their friends and are like gay people are bad and it's like i'd rather be gay than jackhammer somebody is that the one where you like grab your legs from behind your back and like bounce up and down on somebody and if they're If they're laying down, yes, but you yeah you could, you you basically just go up to a person and and a man, usually. You can't necessarily do it to a woman. You you can, but there's a felony. It's a felony.
Speaker: and like And you would just go yeah like, you know, like like you're having... Like dyra. The joke is that you're having butt sex, but you're not actually doing it because you're not gay.
Speaker: you That's the joke. It's only funny because you're not. Yeah, it's only funny because you're not gay. Right. And the truth is, you look good back at it now and you're like, I'd rather be gay than do that. Well, because the other another one, people would play like gay chicken. Oh, you want to play? Oh, gay chicken. Like, yeah, that's just called gay. That's just, that's just gay. dudes You want to play gay chicken? What's that? It's where I take my pants off and you suck my dick. All right, man, I'll play. All right, man, I'll play. How do you win? You'll know.
Speaker: I'll tell you when you got enough points. You'll know when you the high score. Believe me. um dude So So dumb, dude. But it's wild. like It's just like, you know, I i i was like, ah one of the things that I was telling a couple of my friends was um You know, it's just because now we're seeing it a lot with like, unfortunately, with like senators and people in the in the office where it's just like you would rather you'd rather tell somebody that you murdered people than like admit that you're gay. You know what I mean? do Because like the worst thing you could be is gay. You know what I mean? So it's like like, like, oh, I killed all these people and did all this horrible stuff. And it's like, dude, like, just like, just tell me that you're gay. Like, like, it's not that big of a deal, you know, but that's ah apparently a thing. Like, you know, you can't Graham took it to the grave.
Speaker: Yeah, I guess. i don't was that Was that Mitch McConnell who did all that? I don't know. I don't know any of these people. but like Well, Lindsey Graham is the one who is like so obviously gay. Lindsey Graham is confirmed dead. Mitch McConnell is presumed dead.
Speaker: Yeah, he's just been like absent for eight months straight. or I mean, eight weeks straight now. ten weeks Ten weeks now? Are we up to ten weeks of just... Radio silence from Mitch McConnell. Did you know people are voting on his behalf? Did you know that's a thing?
Speaker: No. Yeah, they did that with ah um ah the lady that died last year when a couple years ago. Oh, we we know he would vote for this, so we're just going to press yes. Like, this is it. Yeah, that's awful. This is all. This is just pretend. Nothing's real. Dianne Feinstein, like the last like few years of her life, it was clearly just like her aides just acting on her behalf. Like, she doesn't even know what room she's in, and they're like voting on her behalf.
Speaker: Like what is what a fucking scam, dude. I mean, that shit makes me so mad. The thing the thing that sucks is like, you know, i was explaining this to a couple of people as well. and And I'll tell you where it's like it feels like especially especially like the Republican side of the nation is very like, oh, like we like this side of the of the nation because they tell it like it is. And like they say they say what everyone's thinking. And that's all well and good if you're watching American Idol.
Speaker: You know what I mean? Like, the thing is, we're not American Idol. We're a country. You know what I mean? The thing is, we're not all thinking the N-word. I mean, right it's just we're not all thinking it. Right. We're not all thinking it. Exactly. It takes on you, I guess. Yeah. right ah Dude, it's it's insane.
Speaker: Like, there's... Patton Oswalt had a bit about this. um When I saw him live last year, he was talking about how he knows somebody who works with AI robots and her entire job is just to make sure that that the robot isn't racist. That's her entire job.
Speaker: That's crazy. That's probably not very good at it. No, no, no. Which is which is insane because that means that the, the, the prime thing that that robot wants to do is be racist. Yeah. Like when I look at the world around me, I should be racist because it's because you look at it and you're like, I mean, look at how racist AI is already.
Speaker: And there's a person making sure that none of this happens. You know what I mean? So like, yeah, like it's, it's bad. it's Yeah, i mean, when it's being trained on the like on how people are interacting online, you're like, dude, i saw this post today, and it was actually made me physically like ill.
Speaker: Yeah. And I don't know. It was from a hard-right, alt-right, major to the 10th degree. so I've never even heard of like the page that it was, but it was like supposedly this... like Black teen killed this like this like 17 year old black kid killed this like 43 year old dad over some argument about a soda at work. I don't even i forget what the word was, but it was like it was like cat line.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, it really is. It is like there are no no other rat no other. age Like news channels are reporting that it was a this this black on white violence. It was like really racist in the way that was written. And then, dude, I went to the comments expecting people to be like, wow, try wording the headline different. Like a lot of times you see people going to bat for the right thing in the comments. on stuff like that i mean the comments don't get me wrong and that's instagram right where you would see more people calling that out or you'd see a mix right dude i didn't see a single person call it out all i said all i saw was just like some of the most egregious and disgusting racist things i've i've read in the last 15 years of my life yeah it was absolutely deplorable what people were saying dude we we live in the final it like bring back lynching why don't we lynch anymore like yeah it's all this crazy shit that people are just writing and you just like yeah you're you're an actually i started clicking on profiles because i'm like is are these like is this fake shit like is this just like fake shit trying to do a thing so then you click on it and you're like no these are real people with real posts and bible verses in their fucking instagram page of course shit like that like It's crazy. my my new thing iling My new thing that I've been doing lately is when somebody says something really racist, I comment on their comment and I put can't wait to read what Bible verses in your bio.
Speaker: Yeah. That's probably there. That's my new favorite thing. Yeah. Like, it's just, dude, it's really funny. I mean, it's not funny, but like, did you, did you guys see the whole thing that, that happened with ah the white house posting the, the Spider-Man thing?
Speaker: Was it Trump upside down and like all just like, no, I wish, I wish it was up upside down with spider webs all over him. No, um no, it was, it was like, like the whole, it was like one of those like moving the picture thing. And it was Spider-Man's, you know, little symbol, you know, his little like thing. web shooting and then the web is shooting and then it's a bunch of immigrants that are in that are in the web and then ice agents like high-fiving each other oh my god and it's just so dumb it's on top of it just being wrong and stupid and missing the entire point of like who spider and it's on it's it's wrong about everything but it's just like it's really it's like sad to see someone post stuff that's just so like
Speaker: yeah cringe well and this is the thing too this is the thing too it wasn't on donald trump's instagram it was on the white house's official instagram yeah which is you know what i mean yeah they post insane things yeah like that's that's awful like and my i i posted a comment on there i posted uh now do one with the punisher prove that you've never read a book that has pictures in it like you know what i mean like it's just like are you like like have you never read a comic book dude like spider-man would not be for this at all like just it's ridiculous you know but whatever you know it's just it's unfortunately where we are and like you know, this, this election is very, Rory Scoville said this in his new special, which I love to watch his new special, man. It's, it's so freaking good, man. And he's top tier comic. I agree. i agree. And he, he said, he said, uh, I'm definitely voting this time. Cause this is the time where it matters because if we don't vote, we might never get to vote again.
Speaker: You know, which is so like, dude, it's it's so funny because he he has a bit that's so good. um and And he um in in the bit, he he's he's like, you know, my my daughter came up to me and says that that ah I don't I don't want to be around you anymore. I want to live with mommy. And the thing that really hurt was that me and her and her mom are and aren't divorced. and And so and it's like and the truth is, like, I was like, yeah, me too.
Speaker: Like if me and your mom divorced, I'd want to live with her. You know, like you like. And what's so funny is like, it's obviously such a satirical joke. You know what I mean? Like, it's obviously not true. You know, like obviously everything that he's doing is just like,
Speaker: it has It's very satirical. And and the amount of comments that are... Because he posted the clip onto his Instagram. And and the amount of people... Because he it's it's also it's also collaborated with Netflix. So it's Netflix's algorithm and Rory's people. so like over the no so yeah So Rory's fans are like, what a great joke. This is great. You're an S-tier comedian. Can't wait to watch the special. All this stuff. And then people are like...
Speaker: this is a really bad father. Like, just like, like these freaking Nate Bergazzi fans are just like, this guy, like, you know, nothing wrong with Nate, by the way. I love him. But like, but still like, they're just like, like, just like the bottom of the barrel, dumbest people that like, don't understand what satire is. And like, but, but unfortunately,
Speaker: I almost don't blame them because we have gotten to a point where nothing is satire anymore. Everything has to be taken at face value because when, when, when we thought things were satirical, people were being honest, you know what I mean? and and so, which is like the most grim thing I've ever said ever, but like, it's, it's very true. Like, it's like, like you would hear somebody say something that is of and and they have importance in the world and you're like oh what they're saying must be a joke and it's not you know what i mean like it's and that's what that's where we're getting at where it's like even if we're joking people are like no he probably believes that to be honest like you know yeah and and that's where we are and in now it's just like yeah sometimes it's like people masking stuff as a joke but now we're at a point where it's like if you read a headline and you're like that's so stupid and it makes you laugh you're like Fuck, is that real? You have you don't even know what's like everything that is real sounds fake because it's really dumb. Like, yes, are dumb. Everything's the world we live in is really dumb. The people who are in charge of things are really dumb.
Speaker: And that's what's like. It's what's wild right now. But like the political moment of like, you know, like newer, younger people without political experience coming up and they're like, well, you want to vote for this guy without experience? And it's like, yeah, I want someone who doesn't have experience taking money from billionaires and being a fucking piece of shit.
Speaker: and yeah like I would love someone without that experience. I'm sorry if you've just like, oh there are very few people left in politics who have been there for over, you know, eat over five years, over 10 years, whatever that ah aren't compromised. like shut. It's like, fuck off. Yeah.
Speaker: Give me someone new. Give me someone new. That's refusing corporate money. That's refusing pack money. That's taking small dollar donations. That's speaking truth to power.
Speaker: Yeah. The good news is, at least I hope, is that we've we've finally started to realize that the bad people are the billionaires. You know what I mean? Yeah, people, the left and right is coming around on that.
Speaker: Like, at least there's that, you know, because the truth is, and Dan Telfer, phenomenal comedian, please go follow him if you if ah if you don't know who he is a Phenomenal comedian. He has... One of the greatest bits about dinosaurs. It's 10 minute bit about dinosaurs. So good. But he has a very good joke where he says, um i don't think that and this and funny enough, he said this joke when Obama was in office and he says, I don't think that Obama should tax the wealthy. I think Obama should make people kill the wealthy. So that way, one of them inevitably become Batman.
Speaker: You know, like it's just like at least we have that. So it's just like just kill all the billionaires and maybe one of them will be Batman. You know what I mean? Like I've always said that once you like just want to make the ah i just want to make the like priority list.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I've always said you should be allowed to become a billionaire, but that once you're a billionaire, there should be absolutely zero rules against me like getting murdered. Like you, if you murder a billionaire, then you're, you didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker: Dude. It's just justice. You know, i I just funny, funny enough. I just, I just want to play this social experiment with you guys. Yeah. um How much money would you need to actually be happy?
Speaker: uh more yeah well i just mean i just mean in the i just mean in the sense of like well now i have the thing that i've always wanted i can live for the rest of my life my kids are happy i'm happy whatever i know i i know no matter how much money it is it's definitely half of what elon musk has It's all I need is all I need is between five hundred thousand and one million dollars. That's it. I've workshopped this. I've been working shopping this with my friends.
Speaker: what's And this is the fun part. What is the stupid thing that you want to have? That's insane. No, I don't. million dollars would be three years. It'd be gone. No. I mean, maybe for you, because you like to buy stuff. I don't. I don't.
Speaker: ah And you like things that you could spend money on. I don't. i don't have ho like I don't have an expensive hobby. i don't I don't want cars. I don't really care about cars. i don't like if i do One thing is for sure. five ah My game plan. If I walked into $500,000, my mortgage gets paid off. I buy two brand new cars.
Speaker: I bank the rest of it. ah what There's some work I would do to my house that I would hire you know people to do. Probably spend like between $50,000 and $100,000 on that. Done.
Speaker: I mean, i'm I'm done. I'm just sitting on that money and now I'm just like – What would you do? I could just – I mean I would still work. I'm just saying I i would want more than five – I would – I like my job. i i mean I'm saying I would – want to live the life that you're living now but just a bit more comfortable. Yeah, I don't want to worry about my money and that would help me not worry about it. It would eliminate my mortgage. I wouldn't have – That's an extremely sane argument. That's an – I would – Yeah.
Speaker: And don't get me wrong. I would like more if you gave me two million or five million, I would sell my house and build something that's just the right thing. Like there's other things I could do, but my honestly, my happiness isn't tied up in any of that.
Speaker: yeah Yeah, it's really not, um you know, because at the end of the day, I've become well aware of who I am enough to know that wherever I live after 30 minutes alone and I do and something happens that I don't like, I'm going to hate everything for yeah a good hour. Like I, I like at my old house, I was like, I, I've owned three houses in my life. The first one I really liked, I didn't really want to move, but there were some problems with it. It was a, you know, the house was built in like 1900 or whatever. It was, it was like a, yeah, it was like a hundred year old house or whatever. Yeah. 1910 or something like that. So there was like some issues, obviously. And then like,
Speaker: overall i like the house i was like oh it would be nice to just like do things to the house to make it work better for us but we didn't take that route we we moved and bought a new house and then the new house was smaller and i didn't like that so like after a little while i'm like you know anything could happen i could just like have to move around something because the space was too tight i'm like fucking goddamn fucking tiny ass motherfucking house fuck this fucking house like i'll do that like mad dad shit and then yeah and then i move into this house it' you are a classic dad dude it's so great it is like fast moments and it's and this house is like all around wait like perfect for my family there's stuff i would like to do to you know, improve it, whatever. But overall, perfect for my family. I got the in-ground pool. I got a big ass yard. I got, I got the things that people like. And I'm like, doesn't matter. Like, know,
Speaker: yeah I'll just like, look if I'm trying to remember the last thing that made me, oh, my pool filter like had an issue. Fucking goddamn fucking pool filter. that You can't even fucking turn the fucking pool filter on. can't fucking do anything around here. Like I do that shit.
Speaker: And then ah it's like, I know if you gave me $10 million dollars and I moved into a badass house, it would take me less than two weeks for me to do that again. This fucking big ass fucking house. Who fucking needs all this shit? Fucking dumb shit. This is stuff here, stuff there. Fuck this stuff. I hate this stuff. That's the thing. Fucking three car garage. Who needs fucking three cars? but Yeah. Okay. That's the And so Casey, what about you? Well,
Speaker: well I could spend any amount that you gave me. Yeah. I mean, same, to be honest. um I can spend money very, I mean, spending money is like one of the things I'm very good at. Yeah, I can make it disappear. Yeah, it's the only trick I learned as a magician is how to make money disappear.
Speaker: I don't know. You know, to me, i mean, is there something like incredibly stupid that you that you want that once you had it, you'd be like, well, I've have the stupid thing that I want. I have the yacht. I have the car or whatever. Now I can buy land. Like if. Yeah, fair enough. I had tons of money. I would just buy like the most Casey answer of all time. Yeah, I would just buy land.
Speaker: I mean, that is where the money is, though. That is where the money us know is, though, is in the land. Yeah. if i ah like I don't really have a desire to not work, so I wouldn't probably do that. I might work on different terms, I guess. but like yeah My ultimate, like oh, I win the lottery and you know whatever would be, i would probably buy a big section of land and maybe add to it over time and stuff like that, and then like eventually turn it into like a state park.
Speaker: That would be like my, ah that's like my vision board. So that the Trump administration could drill oil on it later. Yeah. yeah that So that they could requisition it. I drink your milkshake.
Speaker: I drink your milkshake. How about Thanks for making this a state park. Now it's ours. Free land. Everybody says I have the greatest milkshake. Trump probably watches There Will Be Blood and likes the the milkshake part because he thinks he's actually talking about a real milkshake.
Speaker: he's like what kind of milkshake we talking chocolate like what are we talking it's hard to say if he would love daniel plainview or if he would hate him because he was jealous of him yeah he'd probably hate him because he was jealous of him yeah probably the only the only person which like and i'm not really talking crap because this person is like very obvious about who they are but like the only person i've ever met not met, but like that I've ever seen where like their whole thing is like, if they don't like me, i don't like them is Trump and Bert Kreischer.
Speaker: You know what I mean? Like they're very like, Oh, like, like the only thing you, you need for me to like you is to like me. That's You know, you know, and it's just like, which is insane.
Speaker: Like, like you don't, you don't know how crazy somebody is, you know, but butt if that's the case, Bert must be liking fewer and fewer people these days. I don't know, man. You guys want to hear about the most unlikable person in the world?
Speaker: Sure. and a man then Before you get into it, can you can you put a quick pause? Yes. Okay. So... This story, I think this has been going on for a little while here, but I just was kind of made aware of it like maybe a few weeks ago.
Speaker: um But it's about this guy, Pastor Steven Anderson, and he is he's quickly become one of my least favorite people on the planet. Yeah.
Speaker: Mike, I hate his guts. I don't know what's reasonable to say on here, but I hope he dies. It's your podcast. You can whatever you want.
Speaker: That's what I would say. you imagine you get canceled by your own podcast? Yeah, I just don't want the FBI to come to my house. They're probably not coming on his behalf.
Speaker: Yeah, not on his. They only do that if you point out that yeah Charlie Kirk died from an exploding mic. Then you're not safe.
Speaker: So this guy, Steven Anderson, he is, I'll give you his little bio here, is the pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona, and is widely known for his outspoken confrontational preaching style, his adherence to the King James Version of the Bible as the only valid translation, and his controversial teachings on a variety of issues.
Speaker: Anderstrom's ministry garnered significant attention due to his inflammatory rhetoric, extreme theological positions, and the prominent or the promotion of doctrines that are inconsistent with historic Christian orthodoxy.
Speaker: So this guy— hate already. I don't know a lot about him. i just any As soon as you're a guy who's like King James only, it's like, oh, I know all I need to know about you to know that you are a dumb motherfucker.
Speaker: Right. Like you're just dumb because the King James Bible is just like, it was just intentionally translated to sound like flowery and cool. And it's not even an original translation.
Speaker: It is a, like an update of a previous translation. It's just to sound like, to just sound cool for the time because people didn't even talk like that when the King James Bible was written. All the vows, the DOS, this, that. It's like, yeah, it's well goofy.
Speaker: Explain iOS 10.2. Yeah. Right. two yeah right So he's also the founder of the new independent fundamental Baptist movement because oh yeah fundamental baptist they're not.
Speaker: Apparently there's a fundamental Baptist movement and he's part of the new fundamental Baptist movement because that wasn't nuts enough. Yeah, well, the the other guys aren't independent.
Speaker: That's the thing. Right. So I don't have a clear view of his like career trajectory, but I know that like he first kind of came to prominence through a video that went viral where...
Speaker: um he's like dealing with border patrol guys and they want to search his car without a warrant. And he's like, no, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not getting out of my car, this, that, and the other. I'm kind of the sovereign citizen routine, you know, and they tased him.
Speaker: And ni he got his he squeals like a pig you didn in the video. audio clip yeah I need the audio of him doing it. three Yeah, then he did a bunch of clips. here He did a bunch of things on Info Wars. It looked like maybe in the late 2000s or something like that. Like he had like some sort of a video about the apocalypse or some, you know, in times nonsense, that kind of thing. They're making Christianity illegal is what it is. Is this the guy that they is this the guy that like everything, everything had a phallic symbol?
Speaker: You know what i'm talking about? It always play like it was like putting that on him. he'd always like play the keyboards and like he'd have these songs about like how like obama's like like know like that's third eagle oh yeah that guy he would like he would show you like like obama's like like propaganda and then he'd be like see if you look at that there's a phallic symbol and it's like pretty sure only you're seeing that like oh yeah he's oh he's still at it sir I follow him on YouTube and it's every day. He's like, pray Mary's rosary for the sacred monk, uh, monarch Donald Trump.
Speaker: You know, what's insane is people like that have a Patreon. You know what I mean? Like people like that have a Patreon and there's people that pay for it. And like, that's, that's nuts.
Speaker: You know i know, we don't even have one. Yeah. Like reasonable for the most part. Yeah. Like, You know, that's not where the money's at. Mm-hmm. No one wants to just like kind of like stay in like this like straight and narrow lane. they want people want to People want to pay money for like unhinged nonsense now.
Speaker: yeah Well, that's Steven's specialty. It seems like it. if you take okay the The way that I knew this guy when I first like started looking at this story is that he's popped up on like any like crazy preacher compilation I've ever seen.
Speaker: Steven's there. He's not like a really well-known figure, but he's around. He's present in all those videos. There's one quick clip in particular where ah he is like screaming slurs, you know, and he goes, if I had a button, he's in the pulpit. He's preaching when he says this. He goes, if I had a button that if I could push it and every homo in the world would just die, drop, drop dead right now, I'd push it until it broke.
Speaker: and he's just like yeah i'm only i'm only laughing because how funny it would be that he presses the button and so many people in this congregation die like they think it was the rapture yeah and adam him and he done good like just he pushes it and just their clothes are left in the queue i just love just i'm i' only i only wanted to say that that that that was why i was laughing i wasn't laughing because i thought that was funny because that's not funny I think it's reasonable to laugh at how absurd like the the hateful rhetoric is. How absurd that that thought is, but I wasn't laughing that he was doing that is what I was trying to say. I was laughing at how ridiculous that is. This is a guy that's like...
Speaker: It's all Old Testament for him. It's, you know, we were to April and we were talking about it today. It was just inconvenient. Yeah, like April and i were talking about it today about how like the Old Testament is funny because you can disregard it for the most part, but it's there when you need it. If you got something really nuts, you want to justify, you know, that's such a great thing to say.
Speaker: That's so great. Any parts you don't like, you can be like, well, it's Old Covenant and stuff. But then you can be like, well, you know, back in the day, they would have just stoned them. Yeah. And then when someone gives you any pushback, like, well, the reason that one still matters today is because I hate gay people.
Speaker: Yeah. So it counts. To give you an example here, I'm just going to don't have like a prepared clip, but let's just jump into the middle of a compilation here and just see what he's talking about.
Speaker: that tells you what
Speaker: Sit down. What are you coming up here to do? You want to come take over the service? What do you want? What? I just want a prayer. Get out of here. I just want a prayer. feel Oh, my God.
Speaker: drag He's like actually worried about people trying to take his spot. And you know what? Anybody wants to come up here and take over the service?
Speaker: We'll throw you out of here, buddy. This church is not a free for all. This isn't an open mic. This isn't a karaoke bar. okay I'm the man of God here. I meet the qualifications. I run this church. And if you don't like it, then get out.
Speaker: This is not some church where every first time visitor and brand new believer and people who've never even read the Bible are going to come up and take over the service. This guy speaks in that tone. he is always screaming.
Speaker: Like who would yeah go to that? Who wants to just go and be yelled at like that? Yeah, dude, that's a crazy episode of Kill Tony. ah I feel like it's all it's all gas Gary or whoever. Yeah. Oh, my God. No breaks, Tony or whatever the guys. The guy's wife punched Timmy Timmy. No breaks or whatever.
Speaker: Yeah, there we go. Oh, my God. I got to look him up. i know i think I know I know who Timmy No Breaks is. it's It's a guy who is who is is playing a character that when you watch him play it, he's like, I can't believe I'm still doing this. I just want to be John or whatever I am. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that mustache. He's so desperately just wants to be himself. But the only thing that people care about is that dumb character that was famous 30 years ago is Andrew Dice Clay.
Speaker: He put on the black Spider-Man suit and now he can't get it off. Yeah, that's the perfect analogy. Perfect analogy. So the reason that Stephen Abraham is in the news right now, and it's an ongoing story and stuff, is because four of his adult children, his four oldest children, have come out publicly and accused him of just like absolutely disgusting domestic abuse.
Speaker: Wow. thats And, uh, It's awful, man. It is. yeah It is yeah really terrible. And there's like several interviews, you know, with his kids. I today I was watching a documentary in between stops and I was just like just fuming angry at how insane this all is.
Speaker: It's wild that like there'll be people in his sphere, like his church, his congregation, like that'll sit through him berating people and acting like a psychopath every Sunday.
Speaker: And then someone comes out and accuses him of some sort of physical abuse. And if you're, if for anyone to just be like, Oh, I don't, I don't think he would have done something like that. It's like, You everyone should have just been assuming that was happening the whole time like you don't meet that guy and think he doesn't beat the shit out of his family. That's of course he does.
Speaker: Yeah. yeah His wife and his kids because buys into the idea of spousal discipline. o But before we get too teary eyed for her, she's a monster.
Speaker: So it's sad that she's not beat, but she is this this lady is equally a monster as as Steve. They are terrible, terrible people.
Speaker: So they're basically accused of running like a ah child concentration camp in their house. And the ways that they would discipline kids are it's not even discipline.
Speaker: It's not discipline at all. It's just like ah abuse and torture. Yeah. I mean, really it really reminds you of like Stanford. Most kids hate showering in general. But at this house, it's a little different.
Speaker: Because they put you in the shower tied to a chair with a cloth over your face? Yeah. All the discipline? They did a form of like waterboarding. What the fuck? That's absolutely insane.
Speaker: They called them cold showers. But yeah, they did like a... like a a It's like a waterboarding almost technique as punishment. And so punishment for the most benign things, but a lot of it revolved around, it seems like, extracting a confession for something that's crazy oh my god they use like see hey black site tactics to get them to confess to like eating a extra piece of pez candy dude it's it's like guantanamo bay stuff if guantanamo bay wasn't concerned about like the media showing up and there being visible marks on the prisoners that so ah and And then that also that also scares me in thinking that, like, are these kids then making up things that they didn't do just so they can be left alone?
Speaker: Oh, i I think so. You know what I mean? False confessions. Yeah. Like just like, like, you know, because this this type of person is probably like the spirit is leading me and he's leading me to think that you did something wrong. Get in the shower. but like he gets And then he's just like, what did you do? and And then they're just like, I didn't do my homework or whatever, even though they did it Yeah. And then he continues to do it as a punishment for not doing their own. There's no way out with a guy like that. Yeah. yeah Even if you confess it, now you're going to be punished for thing you confessed for. Like, it's just this it's revolving door of for abuse. Because it's got nothing to do with punishment. It's about like, it's a fear tactic of domination. You know, it really revolves around. And it's pretty clear listening to the kids describe like what, how this all went, that like any offense could trigger a savage beating.
Speaker: Like, you know, somebody like one of the kids, I mean, he was like, he said he was like eight years old and his mom was like making tacos and he ate some crumbs that had fallen on the counter and she just like brutally beat him for it.
Speaker: That's insane. They withheld food. The big one that's like the most prominent thing that's kind of like grabbed the headlines and stuff is that they would beat the kids with an electrical cable.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. You first you think that like, oh, it's ah like an extension cord. They just like whipped them with it or something like that. But what they would do is they had like a 12 gauge extension, cord like a heavy duty outdoor extension cord, and they would loop it twice. So you had two big loops that form like kind of a flange scourge type thing.
Speaker: And they would beat these kids until like their back split open. I mean, they insane and they'd hit them with it, you know, and it's like it's flexible. So like they're not just hitting like their butt or anything like they're hitting their thighs, their back, the backs of their neck. And it wraps around. So it's like clapping your stomach and stuff. I mean, it is it is just the most like barbaric, savage stuff. It's it's terrible.
Speaker: God, that's so fucked. well so that's not a good person um at all official verdict that's the official verdict on my end is this is not a good person um the thing that sucks man is that why are people like this in positions of power like why are people like dude i'll never i'll never forget this where it's just like When I was a little kid, I'll never forget asking my dad this. I was just like, like, I'll never forget, like, why if if we're not if we're not great people, because I, you know, and and I still believe in Jesus and all these different things. But like but I was just like, if we're if we suck so much, why did he go through all of that?
Speaker: You know what i mean? Like, why did he do that? You know what I mean? Because like, I would never do that, you know? And then you start to think like, and now like, it just brought me back to like thinking like a child of like, you hear a dad doing that to an innocent child and you're just like, why does a person like that exist?
Speaker: Yeah. like I mean, it really is. We've talked about it several times here recently, but it's like the the caliber of people that are in the spotlight right now. It's like you.
Speaker: Yeah. You hope that there's a hell so that there's some sort of consequences for being this way, you know? Yeah. so that it's do that's so accurate the problem too man with our the world we live in and is that and i don't say i don't mean that in the sense is like this is like some new new age phenomenon it's like this is just how shit goes is like because you said like how are people like this in positions of authority that's why like people you kind of just like
Speaker: you kind of have to be kind of a bad person to have, or like the arrogance that it takes to want to be like, I should make the rules for people. It's like, there's a 90% chance that you're going to be a bad person. Also, that there's going to be some shit in your background. Like,
Speaker: I'm not saying it has to be that way and you can hold people accountable. And like we haven't done that in our political sphere in a long time in our in our churches. You can do it. I think we're on the right track. I think things are moving in the right direction, I hope.
Speaker: But like you got to keep the. the It's this idea of like, I'm in charge, therefore everyone listens to me. No, we're giving you the ability to lead this group. And that only goes as far as we're willing to let it go.
Speaker: It needs to be like the new norm. Like, oh no, you stepped out of line. Now now you're fucked. Now you don't... elite Leadership, authority, power, it's all like...
Speaker: It's like that this make these make-believe concepts. And I think about this like at work sometimes where it's like, I'll get frustrated at work sometimes because I don't feel like the environment is as collaborative as it should be. I went from you know working at a corporate retail environment with a family-owned company where all the siblings were in charge and they would scream at each other and bark orders, right?
Speaker: Terrible place. I hated It was miserable. It forced me to make a career change and it was a great choice. But then you go to like, you know, public education is, you know, supposed to be a little bit, it functions differently than like corporate retail, but it's like, ideally it's like you have this person who's managing the the building, the school, and they go, I'm going to default to people who are experts in their field to make choices based on just my belief that they know what they're doing. And,
Speaker: that can be challenging. And in most places, the principal just goes, I don't agree with that. We're not going to do that. And you go, okay, so this isn't collaborative. But it's like these, I get so frustrated with these ideas of like power and leadership and authority and who's the boss. And it's like, because it's like, why can't we just like,
Speaker: just all recognize that like some people might be better suited for that but as soon as they start making anything like unilateral and thinking that they're like better at making decisions for people based on things that they're maybe more well versed in as opposed to like I'm good at like delegating these responsibilities in creating a collaborative environment for experts to share their opinions. and Like, it's so annoying. Like the the whole like the the whole like concept of like top down leadership. I want to fucking turn on and say, I just fuck you. I don't care. i hate you. i don't know. You're a pastor. Cool. Get fucked. You started a church and people gave you money to do that. You're not special. You're not cool. You're not powerful. You don't know more.
Speaker: You're just, you're just, a you could just be another fucking asshole. Yeah, you're definitely you're definitely on to something, man, because like I, you know, well as you were saying that one of the things that I was thinking about, because I I constantly think about how and I always try to remind people like when I'm on stage and and when I'm on a podcast like.
Speaker: how how much closer we are to who we were as children than we are as adults. You know what I mean? Like, we're all just wearing these giant adult costumes. You know what I mean? Like, we're all still little kids. You know, we're all still the same little kid. And so much so that...
Speaker: We look at leadership as if we're playing tag because ultimately we want to be with who we think is the most powerful kid at school so they can pick us to play tag with them. Right. And then when we find out when we're playing, oh, this is actually not a great guy and and we're not feeling all that great. Then we get scared and we keep playing that same game because we're scared having not, you know, and and then we we never realize like we can just make our own game.
Speaker: We can just leave do it different and do a different thing. Like you don't have to do that. You know, it's the pick me shit. And that part of that's on the people, right? Like a bunch of people being like, Oh, I want the pastor. let's what Stop. i its Why are we giving responsibility to? mean, that's a big part of it. It's like I want to defer my freedom of choice and my freedom of decision to somebody else. So I don't have to be responsible for these things. I'm just trusting that this person knows what's best.
Speaker: I think you're right about that. I think they do that like on a theological level. But the weird part about it is is after they outsource that authority to somebody out of convenience,
Speaker: has anyone ever been to a church where people didn't feel like special because the pastor invited them over for dinner? You know, like you, you, you give them that authority and then you feel special or you, you want to cozy up to it because it makes you feel important.
Speaker: That's weird. I'm giving you authority so I can feel good about myself for being close to the authority that I've granted you. Like you're actually, the people are the ones with the power. That's the whole idea of unions giving but but like, like,
Speaker: i'm you do those say of democracy essentially it's not it's a ruse it's not working but like yeah a people people are supposed to be the ones with the power it's like whatever we're fucked anyway it but back to our friend here uh back to our friend sorry casey your friend not mine he's so this guy and and i know our friends he's all our friends now sorry It's like ah it's the easiest, you know, every bad thing comes back to comparing someone to Trump at this point. But like sure this guy tickles a lot of the same like ah that same spot in certain people's ears as as Trump does, where it's like he's going to say the really mean thing that I feel like i he's he's valid validating this awful thing that I think.
Speaker: And I'm on the fence about whether or not it's OK to think that like this guy's saying it He's confirming that I am right for being awful. Yeah, the quiet piggy moment. Yeah.
Speaker: And he's just, yeah. So anyways, basically, like his his eldest daughter was the first to kind of escape. So she got a she got a job after much like protesting by them. They allowed her to get a job, I think probably because...
Speaker: They're just going to take whatever money she makes. Right. Probably. yeah She convinced them to let her go stay with her aunt and uncle for a summer so that she could work. And while they're like she, you know, was away from them and she really enjoyed it and stuff like that. And it really like made her think like, I cannot go back there.
Speaker: she convinced her uncle, like she told him about what was going on in the house and stuff like that. And, you know, hey, kudos to her uncle and his wife, you know, who are probably in a similar sort of ilk. They wouldn't send her back there. Yeah.
Speaker: yeah And Steven and his wife freaked out and they showed up at their house and they showed up at her job and he stalked her for like a long period of time. She had to like escape from hospital. She had to basically fake a medical emergency and then sneak out of a hospital to get away from her dad because, since you know, local cops have been pretty supportive of him. Imagine that.
Speaker: Oh, wow. That's crazy. but she comes forward and like gives her story. He of course denies all of it. Never did those things, never abused his children and, and this and that and the other. And like, this is all a farce. Her, his evil children are like rebelling against him, but then her three eldest brothers came out and backed up her story. So now it's the four of them plus the guy's brother and his wife that are all like attesting to what she's saying.
Speaker: And I think the thing that caught my attention and the thing that I think is eventually going to ruin him and, and he's, he's already lost a lot of congregants somehow, but like,
Speaker: I like that they weren't gone earlier, yeah. It's like, what finally made you people think, oh, I think this is a hateful guy, you know? yeah he just started bringing the electrical cord to church.
Speaker: He's just beating congregants if they ask for prayer. Yeah, yeah. This person has a nice little compilation of his spank me, pastor. They're not even going up for prayers. just people going up to get like whacked by the cord. They're like, of course, hit me next. It is very funny to think though, which things crack the facade for people sitting in those pews for years on end. And he had a recent survey that I think might have done that for some people.
Speaker: And this is like some, here's some clips from that sermon. I want to be vindicated publicly. I want my reputation to be fixed. I want my children come out publicly and recant the evil things that they said about me and my wife.
Speaker: And by the way, I just want you to know, I will never commit suicide. And if somebody claims that I committed suicide, I was murdered. I just want to go on the record and saying that once again. Somebody should.
Speaker: i don't care what i want god to fix my situation want to be vindicated publicly they need to read i am not going to continue pastoring i'm just telling you that right now is it crazy that i don't know boohoo in history as this evil child abusing lunatic this evil wife beating monster and maybe god's up in heaven thinking that it is too much for me to ask Well, you know what? Sorry, God, because you know what? I have my limits as a human being.
Speaker: And if you don't fix my situation, then I'm going to retire. What's going on? Oh, God's delivering. God's delivering, finally. The fact that this man thinks that anybody would even care about him enough to kill him is the most narcissistic thing I've ever heard.
Speaker: Like I think what's wild is like, like I don't think anybody cares to even kill you. No, somebody should. Other than your children. Like, but a guy like this who, who's been mercilessly beating his family for decades, he, gets called to the carpet on it. Like he did it. And I bet when he told his kids, he was doing it. Like what was like, I have to do this. This is the Lord's will. You guys are bad. I'm rebuking you. Well, he had all these justifications. I'm sure he explained in detail why it was important for him to do this and why God's granted him that authority. And then he gets called to the carpet on it and he fucking pussies out. No bitch.
Speaker: Don't be a pussy. Fucking own that shit. You believe in it. You believe in this so fucking hard own that shit. Oh, no, you're a little scared little cuck bitch boy. You don't want to to prison. No, suffer. Suffer for your fucking ideals. Be a martyr for your fate, dude. All your favorite characters in your book went to prison. Now you get to go to prison. If you're lucky, they'll hang you upside down.
Speaker: Maybe they'll put you in a fiery furnace and we'll really see that. Yeah, man, maybe they'll put in a fiery furnace. Maybe they'll put in a prison with a lion. You can make a brand new friend.
Speaker: Death by Lion Pit. That sounds cool. yeah so He is the kind of person that thinks that if he was thrown into a lion's den that he'd make friends with a lion. like He is that kind of person. Yeah, he would recognize me as an alpha. Yeah, he'd recognize me as an alpha. And you know what? We'd probably become friends. We'd start a podcast. Like... ah ah This is like the stupidest guy. Like... So he categorically denies ever doing any of that stuff. He spanked his children. There's video footage that you just played of him saying He doesn't even he won't even say he spanked his children. He says that he spanked them biblically.
Speaker: Oh, okay. Biblical punishment. Which is with a wrong God. What are you doing, dude? Like, if you did it biblically, you should be in prison. If you do anything, let's just be clear. If you do, if you, if your justification is that you've done anything biblically, you should probably be in prison. That's the only thing that you can do biblically that isn't a problem.
Speaker: Yeah, that's the only that's the only time he likes the New Testament when it comes to waving people. He's like, actually, that's a pretty good idea. Ninetales is pretty good. lot Ideas from the Roman centurions. Yeah, just actually, the Romans had it right. the yeah So, after like throughout this, categorically denying that he ever did any of that stuff, he has since gone to great lengths to explain what biblical discipline actually is, and in detail justify...
Speaker: beating his children with a scourge and with a, you know, what stripes mean stripes. You know, if you have striped pajamas, that means that there's one color and then there's another color underneath it. And then there's that color again. And then there's another color. There's a difference in color. And he's just screams whenever he's talking about this kind of stuff. And he's like, biblical punishment should leave a mark. You might bleed.
Speaker: Is that such a crazy concept? And he's literally talking about just like beating the skin off of his like seven year old, you know, and that's insane. But category, but also categorically denying that he did those things like then. is it oh, not that bad. Oh, yeah. it Leaves a mark. Yeah. It might bleed a little bit. but Is that a big deal? Also, I didn't do it. It's obviously crazy. I wouldn't do it.
Speaker: like Also, what is what does that have to do with pajama pants? I think just illustrating the The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is his favorite movie because he thinks the people who are maintaining the fires are the good guys. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, okay. It all comes back to that. Silly me. yeah yeah He thinks The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is a comedy. He also goes through a big ah a big like grandstanding thing where he's like, show me in the Bible where it outlines child abuse.
Speaker: I didn't do any of these things, but even if I did, I'm not being accused of anything non-biblical. He's just screaming about it. And he basically like, so he makes the case that there's no such thing as abuse, except unless it's like sexual abuse.
Speaker: He, he doesn't believe there's any such thing as abuse when it comes to like physically beating his wife or his kids. me It's, I mean, it's, I haven't finished the documentary. du I just, I don't know if I can. It's just yeah so awful to listen to.
Speaker: And, ah you know, course, like he just is like using the dumbest arguments to shoot holes in like his kids story. So like they they did interviews with a ah transgender YouTuber.
Speaker: And so he's like, he's like, they went to a Satan worshiping tranny. You see, you've got little word of transvestite to tell lies, not to tell the truth.
Speaker: And then he he proceeds to tell his congregation that it's wickedness to listen to his children's interviews. i mean, it's just like... Right, yeah, that would make sense. And he has, like, he is, like, the the head of this, like, weird little organization of churches. So he has these bunch of other douchebag pastors that probably do the same stuff to their kids and wife that are all, like, standing behind him.
Speaker: You know, and I mean, it's it is the most vile group of people. And I don't know. I don't know if he gets punishment for this. Like, I don't know what Arizona law looks like in terms of like statute of limitations and stuff. But I mean, it seems to me like if CPS showed up, they could probably find some evidence of just years and years of physical abuse.
Speaker: Yeah. And he still has six kids at home, by the way. Oh, my God. has ten kids. Only four of them have escaped. they that I can't believe – what state is he? Arizona.
Speaker: Arizona. Yeah, pfft. I'm sure the bar is little bit lower there, dude, like like for for removing kids from a home. But holy shit, I feel like when you when you have the four oldest being like this happened, you need to take the other six out of that place immediately.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy that they're not. And who knows? I mean, he's made such a like pest of himself in the past over, you know, like the ah Border Patrol thing and stuff like that. Like, it's hard to say what happens from there or who whose ear he's got, you know, within the local government there. But I have to imagine that.
Speaker: There's a CPS investigation coming, or maybe they've already showed up and it just hasn't been made public yet or something. But yeah, they got to get those other kids out of there. He needs to go to jail and somebody should beat him to death in jail.
Speaker: Whoops. Sorry. mean, that'd be pretty funny. Oh, my God. he should yeah i don't die in a pool of his but bodily fluids on a prison floor. He should die eating. i mean, he could eat his own shit covered in garlic powder. a drink That's what I was going to say. i would I would visit him in prison and give him garlic powder. like You know what?
Speaker: Garlic powder is a luxury. it It's interesting that you... it's interesting that you bring this guy up because i i was just uh i just saw this uh reddit post in in christian marriage oh no the other day that was uh it's the it says my husband hits me with a belt and says it's biblical and she posts like the text messages between them Yes, I saw this one.
Speaker: It's like it's him. Let me see. It's let me see. Hold up, hold up, hold up. He types like he has webbed fingers, by the way. Yeah. Well, this is a ah single held organism.
Speaker: it's Apparently, there's an apparently it's so common. There's an acronym for it. cdd what is christian domestic discipline it sounds like a porn category yeah it's super weird see ah yeah cdd christian domestic discipline gotquestions.org it says maybe you should read this it's okay if you may have been deceived about things you're you've heard and i don't hold it against you but i think you should really know the truth
Speaker: But I do know from here on out, it will never be allowed to happen again. Oh, I think that was her response to him. Yeah. And then he says, I'm not blaming, I'm not blaming anything. I'm just telling you the reality of the whole reason that we got to that point is because you purposely disrespected and dishonored me and treated me not like a husband, but just any old Tom Vicar Harry, which isn't the, which is not the expression. No.
Speaker: Tom, Dick or Harry. I'm not blaming. what What is the expression? Because I don't i don't know. it Any old Tom, Dick or Harry? Yeah. Tom, Dick or Harry. he's He's including the vicar in this one. and I don't think that's appropriate.
Speaker: Oh, it's like ah it's like when you when when you think it's a ah Dear John letter and not a or a John Deere letter. and so i forget. There's like a Tim and Eric sketch where like, I forget if it's David Liebhardt or somebody. He's like, my wife was having a ah Thanksgiving dinner of sex with every man in town. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
Speaker: I've never heard that before. i know it's It's an interesting string of names, Tom, Dick, or Harry. That's from deep white country. Yeah, I've never heard of it. Yeah. um that Tom Harry Dick.
Speaker: who ah She says, oh, yeah, before he starts saying all this, she's like, I'm just letting you know that's never going happen again. so we go, there's You treat me like any old Tom Vicar.
Speaker: Harry, I'm not blaming. I'm just stating out the truth. I shouldn't have to be worried about how I should deal with discipline when it comes to you. If you were my wife, that's what a wife is.
Speaker: I wouldn't have to worry about it to start with. I'm not blaming. He said that so many times. I'm just saying, if you're talking about the past, the past is the past. But I want to tell you that the future is not going to be like the past. And that's what I'm saying. Because once again, if things, whatever, dude.
Speaker: the
Speaker: She's married to like a bicycle helmet with a racquetball bouncing around her. sounds like a basketball player talking to an interviewer after he lost a game. The past is the past, but the past is the past. The future is the future. So we're going focus on the future. Listen, man, it is what it is. And and it ain't what it isn't. You can't look at the you can't look at the future. You can't look at the past because then you're forgetting about today. You know, so it's just like you're just saying a bunch of nonsense. Living in the moment, being present. I always always tell people future is just today in disguise.
Speaker: I don't like it's like what? we
Speaker: Dude, there's nothing better than ah than like ah just a really dumb person trying to be profound. Oh, yeah. like Because they say stuff like that. They say start these see stuff like, tomorrow's just today in disguise. Like, what? this this kid named There's this kid on TikTok that goes by like Big Red. He's a younger dude, but he just that's his whole shtick is he like gives an inspirational quote every day. like Somebody bought him a calendar for his birthday one year with...
Speaker: you peel off a thing every day or whatever it he just sounds like this every time he says what like oh my god dude nobody's watching remember when you remember it because we we've all been in bands before remember like the when you would come up with like a hardcore band name and it would be like praying for tomorrow's today you know like that was the name of it you know what i mean like so many bad band names yeah just like you know freaking the the sun is actually a planet is is like your your band name or whatever i don't know it was the whole era of like the verb the noun in like metalcore it's just yep the verb the noun today hey today yeah you destroy the runner
Speaker: Yeah. Dig the hole.
Speaker: Coil the cord. Yeah. Coil the cord. Spank the kid. Discipline your wife. I love, I love the breakdown from ah that one breakdown from discipline your wife. Yeah. It's really good.
Speaker: zero zero ones He goes, uh, she goes on to say, well, the title pretty much explains my dilemma. I was researching and found an article to help convince him that it's not okay to hit me with a belt.
Speaker: Well, that didn't work out very well because he hit me with a belt. No, that's not what she says. Uh, He took it as an instructional manual. yeah I even stated that maybe he was deceived and I don't hold it against him, which you should. And I want him to know the truth.
Speaker: He still stands firm, believing it's okay to physically discipline me. Can someone please help me? He said, ah can someone please help me be able to prove to him? It's not okay. He says, I disrespect him and dishonor him and,
Speaker: I am really trying to be a good wife, which you can't be. The the bar is too high for this psychopath. You'll never be good enough. You're going to get beat for being around people like this. These are just people who beat people.
Speaker: Yeah. Captain Caveman is just doing what he's doing. Yeah, it feels like no matter what I do, I'm always screwing up. You're not. That does feel that way, though, because he's a prick. Yeah. ah I mean, it's not OK. It hits me right. OK.
Speaker: Forgot to mention he is a preacher and runs a ministry. Edit number two. Thank you all for an outpouring of love and support when my husband got home from work. I asked him to point to scripture that says he's allowed to belt me.
Speaker: And of course he couldn't, he wouldn't even touch my Bible. And I, because his hand will burn if he does, cause he's a fucking demon in disguise. He looked at me and said, if I want to discipline you, if I want to discipline you and belt you, I will.
Speaker: I got up and walked away. He realized everything he said while at work is on text and I have proven that whatever. Basically, I think she's going to be like, yeah, go fuck yourself.
Speaker: I hope she moves on. Yeah, I mean, a weird route. she yeah You know what sucks, man, is like what I wish is that I could comment on this and say what I really feel, which is like, you're so much better than this person. You need to leave this person.
Speaker: You're being treated like you're property. You are not property. you are a human being. And you're not this person's you're not you're not this person's like cattle. You know what I mean? um You are your own person with your own free will. And if he doesn't like that, then he can find somebody else because you're better than him.
Speaker: this guy gun all If I said that, no, no, no. I was going to say the truth is, if I said that she wouldn't listen to me. Because she's she's so weaved into whatever this belief is that that that it's okay. like ah There's just so much brainwashing going on. and and I'm not saying that like it's because of like you know the the church system or whatever. It's just whatever weird thing that he believes has gotten into her water supply. And now she's demented.
Speaker: He's got that ah that handmaid's tale theology. Yeah. I don't know where that comes from, dude, because I mean, every every message I ever got.
Speaker: Yeah, well, every message I ever got as a kid was that like you know ah a man should never lay his hand on a woman. like That was say always what we were taught. i was There was no exceptions. There was no instance where that was considered okay. I don't know if this is like a weird, deep, you know ah bizarre, you know conservative church thing, or if this is more of like a online extreme right Christian thing that sprung up, you know, on the internet or what, but like, I just don't know where people are hearing this doctrine that like, it's okay to hit your wife. And it does seem more like the sort of thing, like,
Speaker: you're finding after you lose your temper and do something bad, like you're yeah shooting an arrow and painting a bullseye around it, you know? Yeah, dude. I was going to say, I bet these people aren't like getting, ah some of them might be, there probably are some churches that say that it's okay or whatever, but like, it's probably a lot of people, like, I bet, I bet before they got married, they didn't have a single conversation about how it's okay for a husband to discipline his wife.
Speaker: Never came up. He just, he masked long enough. They got married. The pressure got to him. He's an impotent fucking pussy ass bitch who doesn't like, oh, he feels small.
Speaker: Oh, she makes a joke at his expense and he wants to murder her. Now he sees red like, and so he just justifies like, just being a little, he just justifies his actions because he's just a little bitch boy that can't hack it as like yeah a regular person. And if he was wearing gray sweatpants, you need a magnifying glass to see his dick.
Speaker: To see his imprint. What is it called? Catching print. Catching print, baby. I love that. Dude, you're a teacher. How do you not know that? Well, I work with kindergartners and first graders, so if they start throwing catching prints at me, dude. Don't you ask them about the penis? Yeah.
Speaker: I would... They say funny shit, but they haven't said catch and print yet. That'd be crazy, dude. i yeah do dare say There's situations like where like it kindergarten, first grade, everyone's curious about bodies every single year. it's like like like New teachers will be like, oh, I don't know what do. It's like, this is normal. Chill out. it's like you know Kid comes out of the bathroom and they're like this kid came over like, this kid tried to look at my penis when I was going pee. youre like Yeah, of course he did. like Yeah.
Speaker: That's what kids do. This kid looked under the urinal. I was like, looked under the stall. while I was taking a dump. youre like Yeah, of course do. They're like Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Kids are funny, dude. It's funny. dude Like we had one year. It was like, uh, these two kids went and hit under playground equipment. And, uh, one of them was like, one of them dared the other kid to lick his penis.
Speaker: That one, little more serious. You're like, oh, shit. We're going to deal with some shit now. Okay, okay. You can't ask. It's not funny. you get Dude, I dare you to lick my penis. I was like, and it was funny because right after that, I had, like, a teacher, like,
Speaker: kind of melt down and freak out over something really small. And, uh, I didn't say it to the teacher, but I got back to my office and complained with my colleagues. I'm like, I'm fucking tired of listening to people just be Oh, help. Oh no. It's like, yeah. Cause the kid told another kid to shut up. We got kids looking at each other's dicks on the playground out here. Like i don't have time for this shit. That's true. Dude, I i think the worst the worst i ever... Well, it's it's funny. i I have a bit that I do um about not losing your sense of childlike wonder and like...
Speaker: Doing life. so like takes of the Playground is what you're saying. No, no, no Do do like and doing life bits like just like there's certain things in life that are really funny that you can do. Like, for example, you know, like ah like a like a thing that my friend does and I and I find it really funny is like whenever there's a restaurant and the lights aren't all on or whatever, like some of the lights are are broken. He will go, I'd like to solve the puzzle. Waffle house. Like just like, like just like a life bit, like just like to make people laugh. Like it's a stupid little thing that you do. And dude, one of my favorite things is like,
Speaker: when like When kids come up to you, or to me in particular, because i I've noticed this recently, is like, i i have really big I have really big glasses. i have cool hair. like I look like a giant kid. So like a lot of kids are usually... like Kids and dogs are really like me. like they like They feel really like... like they they just like me and they i don't know it's weird but they but usually ah like there's a kid that i went to i went to a museum a couple of couple of days ago to see the odyssey and this kid was there with his mom and he was bored and he saw me through like the little window and he just went like this to me and i just went six six seven like and i went back to him and then he started laughing and then that was our little bit like we would go through everywhere and we'd do six seven to each other And like, it was just this and he thought it was the funniest little thing ever. And and it's like, you know, whatever. mean, he's five. He doesn't get it. You know, whatever. So like, so anyway, i i did. It was my birthday. And I went to Disney World with my sister. We have this tradition where we go to Disney World on my birthday for Christmas. Um, cause my birthday's on December 7th. And, uh, and so we go and at Disney, when it's your birthday, they give you a little pin that says, you know, we're celebrating Mike's birthday, you know, whatever. And it like kind of tells everybody, you know, that works there to say happy birthday to you, you know, whatever. And my sister likes, likes giving me that pin and embarrass me. He gets banked by donald duck get to get s spanked by Donald Duck. He gets the, he gets the extension cord. It's crazy. And so, yeah,
Speaker: he He takes off his little bow tie. it turns into an extension cord. And like, yeah, he. So anyway, we're in the Star Wars ride, which Sam, you've been on this on this ride. Oh, yeah. And that's a good one. And in this ride, there's there's three elements to this ride. Which one? Yeah. yeah which Rise of the Resistance. And in this ride for people that have not people that have not written, written this ride. ah Casey, have you ridden this ride before?
Speaker: No, I haven't been back since they changed it all up. Oh man. So I won't spoil too much. This is in the very close to the very beginning that all of this happens, but essentially there's three elements of the ride and there's three different ride vehicles. And at a certain point, the, the Republic finds you and they hold you hostage. And there's a lot of actors like failed Broadway actors that come in and are very much in character in the star Wars land. And they're like really, really into it. And they're like weirdly British for some reason.
Speaker: And they're like, everybody get in line, you know, whatever. And you live in deep doo doo this time. yeah yeah And you don't have any garlic powder. it was a little was a little garlic powder so so we're waiting. We're waiting in line. We're waiting in line.
Speaker: and part gungan i just don't have any garlic powder and i dude i judge this so wrong because like because like usually again i'm very good at like you know messing messing with kids like just enough you know and i just judged it so wrong this girl kid off the ride this girl this girl this little girl she's like five or whatever and she's like she's like kind of scared and she's like what's gonna happen to us and i just went we're gonna die
Speaker: and she started crying right she started crying and as she cried as she cried she looked at my button and goes happy birthday
Speaker: I felt so bad, dude. just like I was like, we're not going to die. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. you know what sure
Speaker: scared I misjudged it like nobody's business. I should not have said that. Oh no. Oh man. But yeah, that was, so yeah, don't mess with kids too much, but like, you know, but yeah, like, like do the, do the thing like ah Pete Holmes is Pete, Pete Holmes. He says this and, and I like it too. Like ah whenever you talk to a kid, like a great kid bit, if you ever go up to a kid, ask them what their name is and they're like, my name Daniel. And you go chicken bucket head.
Speaker: And then they go, no, Daniel. And you go, oh, so it's chicken bucket head. Is that what it is? I heard chicken bucket head. They always think it's the funniest thing they've ever heard in their life. For some reason. can imagine. They always think it's the funniest thing. They're like, no, it's Daniel. and they're like, chicken bucket head, right? And then another kid will be like, do me, do me. I'm Greg. No, chicken bucket head. And they're like, chicken bucket head. You know, they just think it's it's awesome, you know. So, yeah, it's fun. It's fun to make fun of kids or to make to do jokes with kids. Don't spank them.
Speaker: Just do jokes. Don't hit them. Don't hurt them. However, i will say, if you do a Star Wars ride, don't tell them that they're going to die. because that's traumatizing but i i mean i don't know she she got over it pretty quickly because i also was like i'm kidding i'm kidding and her family i mean her family was very mad at me but but but but they were like he was kidding he was kidding and i was like i promise i was kidding i promise i promise you know whatever and like and then we were it was fine for the rest of the time but but yeah don't definitely don't tell a stranger on a ride that you're gonna die unless it's true unless it's true yeah you which like within the confines of the ride i wasn't lying to her you know like technically we were supposed to die but we get saved so well i i like i like i like closing out on some good advice thanks for that mike i
Speaker: I, we can close out on some plugs. I have a plug. I'm plugging something. Can I jump in and plug something? Please. I'm going to be sharing it on our Instagram page for all the listeners. We, we thought this is not important for you guys. It's not going to help anybody but me. And that's fine. But going back to this conversation about how much money could make you happy for me, it could be about exactly $25,000. That could help me out a lot. And here's how I might get it. My wife thought it would be cool to enter in my baby Finley ah for this, ah the the cutest baby award or whatever. Some national like fucking cute ass baby competition. Cause this kid's cute. He's cute. Most people see and they go, Oh my God, that's a cute baby.
Speaker: He, Just never stops laughing. Thinks everything's hilarious. Huge smiles all day long. We submitted it. We're like, all right. I mean, you do that shit. Like, a lot of people do it. You never hear back. It's fine. It's been a while. Didn't hear back. She got an email back tonight that we've moved on to this other round, to the voting round where the public votes. So, like, they ask you some questions. You get to type them in. You answer them. And then then you get this...
Speaker: Once everything moves on, you share this link, people go to the link, they vote for the cutest fucking baby. So I need $25,000. I am going to be asking people to vote for my son.
Speaker: What sort of sick individuals are judging, are doing the prejudging? Is this for, it's actually part of, it's part of Trump's like child, uh, department of his beauty pageant. Uh,
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. It's like the loser gets a kiss from Donald Trump. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you know, honest, honest baby. This is the only time your kid doesn't laugh. this what isism
Speaker: there's ah There's this company called Honest Baby. It's a pretty decent company, actually. They're the ones that like sponsor to the thing or whatever. Are they the are they the food company Honest? uh i don't do they do i know they do a lot of um they'll do like like uh like bath jessica yeah they do knowledgeable for your baby yeah they do food as well yeah yeah um yeah they've so i i only know about this because like i was in but like my day job for a long long time was i worked in like the toy industry and i worked in in like food and beverage and all that stuff. And, and one of my biggest clients was target.
Speaker: And so, yeah. So you know a lot about, you learn a lot about these companies. I'll be sharing a link on the Instagram stories. And if you guys feel so inclined to, to cast your vote, you could ah help your boy make $25,000 and that will help me fix the next thing. That's definitely going to break in my house in the next six months. There you go. I'll take a look, but I have to remain impartial as a judge.
Speaker: I respect that. Take a look. You got to look at the competition. Casey's like, all these kind of suck. I fucking hate babies. I have unique taste in babies, you know, a subscribe. oh to two hours So ugly. It's cute. Yeah. i not thinking It is weird to, ah it's weird to like pimp your kid out like that, but yeah times are tough, man. if maybe we had Maybe if we had a better economy, I wouldn't be having this conversation.
Speaker: I'm going vote for the one that looks the most like an unroasted chestnut. Just nice unwrinkly, ball-skin scalp. it's ah yeah You see that that the, I think you should leave sketch for like the cutest baby award.
Speaker: fuck you Harley Jarvis pretty much yeah little little Reggie Dinkins or something stupid no Reggie Dinkins is the show with ah Tracy Morgan yeah great show great show But anyway, I plugged my thing. i'm trying to help be I'm trying to help you help me get money. And that's fine. Do what you want. It's fine. ah Mike.
Speaker: Well, Casey, do you have anything that you need to plug? No, just me, the best baby win. Yeah. Yeah. that's Baby win. um before i plug anything i just want to share the fun the funniest news that i've heard in a couple of days which is that spirit halloween now owns hot topic yeah dude i saw that that's so funny one of the funniest things i've heard in a very long time product will suffer It's like normally I don't like capitalism and billionaires winning, but in this in this particular ch time, it's very funny. um i hope they open their I hope they acquire a couple more. like I hope they acquire Spencer's Gifts and um you know maybe um what's the one that's ah like a blend of Spencer's Gifts and Hot Topic. Boxed Lunch?
Speaker: i'm not familiar they already own they own box lunch they so they own so they own all the hot topic brands so it's hot topic box lunch and her universe um so basically like all the like pop culture stores that sell funko pops at the mall they own yeah yeah that's kind of what that that's a good way to boil it down it's like do you sell funko pops you're kind of all the same yeah spencer's is just a place that sells funko pops and dildos um yeah so but like comedic dildo like it's not they're not serious yeah sure it's like they're like gag gifts but not gag gifts they're hilarious until you have an orgasm with them and then they're not funny um yeah post not clarity goes uh yeah who bought them is it the ellison's
Speaker: yeah um but yeah man i um so i i have a couple of things that i can talk about which uh i have some some really cool stuff that i did with walmart you can check them out uh on walmart's youtube channel um you uh should be seeing me if you haven't uh for the past like three months i've been doing commercials if you have regular television i've been on those commercials if you haven't that's cool too i'm still getting paid for them so i i'm glad that you're either seeing it or not doesn't matter that's sick i'm about to start youtube and walmart commercials there you go yeah so um there's there's some commercials that i there's one that i did with walton goggins that's really fun um Oh, sick. Yeah, that was a really good, that was a really fun one. And and then there's some that I did with Luis Suarez, the soccer player, um and did those for the World Cup. Those are all on Walmart social media as well. I have some Adidas stuff that's coming out. It's so...
Speaker: this i This I can probably say it's going to be for the Anthony Edwards threes that are coming out. um It's a collection that I cannot talk about. i can I'll tell you guys off air. um But um if i if I were to say this in a public space, um there are certain people that would have me killed. um And so so I cannot talk about that. But... um What's really cool is that all of the commercials are um it's it's a giant sketch show. So essentially we have all I'm a cast member in a sketch show ah called Minilana Soda. And it's a bunch of comedians that are all doing sketches about pop culture and they have to do with shoes and sneaker culture. I played Drake in one of the sketches. It's very funny. I'm super proud of it.
Speaker: um It's, it's really, it's really, really fun. Those are going to start coming out in about October. And that's about the only thing I can talk about right now. But yeah, man, just keep your thoughts keep me in your prayers, you know, you know, just trying to trying to do bigger and better things. And hopefully the next time I'm on here, it'll be to promote a huge thing, you know, that you guys can see on so on streaming networks and things like that but but right now put the pieces together here so it's adidas if talk about it people will kill you and they're kind of off the rebound after the kanye meltdown and where's the leave button
Speaker: You're launching the Netanyahu loafer. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, it is not a Kanye thing. I can definitely say that.
Speaker: The Tyler Robinson acted alone to high top.
Speaker: Yeah. that's ned it's It's the Charlie Kirk did nothing wrong high tops.
Speaker: Well, that's exciting, man. I'm glad to hear you got a lot of irons in the fire. Yeah, man. Good for you, dude. I'm going to go watch some. I'm going to go find your skits on Walmart stuff.
Speaker: Yeah, it's really fun. yeah those are Those are really fun. That was like ah that was a fun little mockumentary that we did. It was like a fake 30 for 30, and and i I was one of the main characters in it, so that's a really fun one.
Speaker: Did you get to do any chilling with Walton? I honestly, he was so incredibly cool. um However, he was very much like, like he was in his trailer majority of the time. Sure. um And basically only showed up on set when it was like time to roll, you know, like we even did all of our rehearsals with a stand in, you know, and, and then he, when he came in, he would see the commercial with the stand in, he would see what everybody was doing.
Speaker: And then he would just mimic everything and like, and then he would put his Walton Goggin flair in it. And it was, it was pretty cool. You know, that's actually really sick. It was really, know it's like what the fuck he's doing. Well, not only that, like he's also, since he's the face of these like Walmart delivery ads, like he's, yeah and I've seen him in those. Yeah. yeah. Yeah. He's he's very much like kind of like the executive producer of it. So like, dude, it was it was awesome. And I don't think I'm talking out of school by saying any of this, but like he was reading the script.
Speaker: He came in and and we had done the first rehearsal and he read the script and he's just like. this just feels really weak man like like this just doesn't feel like good you know and then he just rewrote things and he's like i don't need to say that and then he would there would be like a character that would say a certain thing and he's like that's not funny it makes literally no sense that they're even saying this so like so this that and ah he would he would cut things add things you know whatever and then Basically, we and then it was a whole new commercial with like his like flair to it.
Speaker: And it was just like once we once we actually did it, it was like, oh, like it makes sense why like he's who he is. you know in like the coolest way possible like like and he and to be completely and and like just to to explain this to people that don't understand this like he's there are ways to do the things that he did and be such a douchebag about it and he was so incredibly kind but like but also was like hey man like i'm the face of these commercials and i don't want to look dumb
Speaker: So like, yeah let me, let me help you by helping me, you know? And like, and that's more what it felt like, as opposed to it being like, this is stupid. Like, you know, we need to do this. We need to do that. Like, it was very much like, Hey, what about, what about this? Like, nah, that doesn't, it doesn't really need that. Like, it feels like we're saying this too many times or we already said this or, or that doesn't need to be said, or that joke isn't that good. Let me try something else or, you know, like whatever. um yeah there was there was also it was really funny there was a there was they wanted the the director or somebody like ad like they were throwing like ad libs for him to say when he caught a soccer ball and threw it and one of them was like something from like a western that he did like years ago and he was like no like and it was like one of the funniest things ever because he's like i'm not I'm not going back to like true grit or whatever I did. You know, I don't know what movie, like the thing that's great about Walt, the thing that's great about Walton Goggins is if you were to imagine a cowboy, that's exactly what he looks like. Like just like imagine cowboy.
Speaker: That is him. Like, it's just like the only thing that surprised me about Walton Goggins. And I say this with mad respect. I love him. He's a great guy. Was incredibly nice to me when he didn't have to be. is he is a lot shorter than I realized.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. You look at that guy and you're like, this guy's probably like six, three, right? Five, nine. It's average. Kind of nice right shorter than me. He's the epitome of average.
Speaker: He was my size. i was like, how are you five? How are you five nine? Like at best, he's five ten wearing those cowboy boots, you know, but I guess the way they shoot him, like he just looks really tall.
Speaker: I don't know. That's good to know. I don't like anyone over six foot. fair That's super sick, man. That's cool. i love that you ah you got to have that experience. That's sick, man. I can't wait to see what you got. I can't wait to see what's coming down the pipeline for you. Hell yeah, dude. You've been working hard. You've been grinding for a long time. Yeah, man. I believe for you, big things are in your future, man. can't wait to watch you on. Netflix or Hulu or Disney plus, whatever, Peacock, whatever. yeah feel like, I feel like, I feel like something's coming your way, man. And I can't wait to, to see what you got coming up next. I appreciate you, man. It means, it means a lot. And it's, and it's really cool. Like, you know, know that, cause I know that you guys are really, are really close with Spencer Bland. And because of this podcast, I became really close with him and, and like something that's so cool about being friends with Spencer, especially because we're like associated in the same, like growing up Christian universe. yeah it's like whenever he gets a win it feels like a win for me like that's one of those things where like i kind of hope you know because because whenever whenever i i like i've been posting these commercials or whatever it and he's just like dude hell yeah like it's so great and like he's doing largo and like you know all these things so like we're and both of us are now we're we're you know talking to
Speaker: doing the whole don't tell comedy thing. We're trying to get a don't tell comedy special. And so like, we're trying to do that together, which was not, not together, but you know what I mean? Like we both sent our stuff, you know, to try to get on don't tell comedies, um, yeah radar and all that stuff. So it's,
Speaker: it's it's crazy man but it's it's cool like when you have friends that like when you succeed it feels like a success for the group as opposed to it being like oh man you succeeded now i don't now i can't succeed and it's like no that's not how this works you know like there's enough success to go around you know yeah no yeah definitely man but yeah right Let's ah let's let's let let's ah end in prayer. that what we're going to Oh, man.
Speaker: All right, everybody. Well, thanks for listening. And we will see you next time.
