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Episode 15: How to Get Through the Hard Stuff
75 Plays5 years ago
Today’s Key Idea: Suffering in and of itself doesn't change us; it is who we turn to in the midst of suffering that has the power to change us.
Mentioned in this episode:
Three Simple Steps to Help You Get Through This
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Transcript
Introduction to Root Like Faith Podcast
00:00:08
Speaker
Hi, we are Patrick and Ruth Schwank and we are so thrilled you are listening in with us at Root Like Faith. It is our deepest desire to encourage and equip men and women to be rooted in God's word, transformed by the love of Jesus, and moved by his mission in the power of the Holy Spirit. Nothing is more important.
Exploring Suffering and Choices
00:00:26
Speaker
Well, today we are continuing our conversation on suffering and more specifically how we can get through the hard stuff. This is going to be good. So we're excited to share today's episode with you. Let's get started.
00:00:42
Speaker
On today's episode of Root Like Faith, we are talking about how we can get through the hard stuff of life. Like we've said, we all face trials, hardships, suffering, but there's so many times that we're just so overwhelmed by our circumstances that we cannot see the path forward. So today we are sharing three simple steps to help you get through this, whatever this is for you.
00:01:09
Speaker
As we've mentioned over the last few weeks, our brand new book, In a Boat in the Middle of a Lake, Trusting the God Who Meets Us in our Storm, releases September 8th. And one of the things we talk about in the book is that suffering always comes with choices.
00:01:26
Speaker
so i feel like that's a really good place to start and just kind of talk about what that means when we're going through a trial or some sort of suffering we we have choices that we can make in that and what i mean by that is that some of those choices might be something like
Turning Towards God in Hard Times
00:01:43
Speaker
We have the choice to run towards God or run away from God. We have a choice to do what we can to try to numb the pain. We can try to entertain the pain away by keeping our minds occupied with other things.
00:02:02
Speaker
Or we can run to find solace and comfort somewhere other than God. So there's really all different ways that we really can try to comfort ourselves rather than finding our comfort in God.
00:02:15
Speaker
when I think that that's what makes suffering just sort of extra dangerous. I mean, suffering in and of itself is painful and challenging, and yet in the midst of our suffering, like you're saying, it does come with all sorts of challenges or choices. And that can be,
00:02:34
Speaker
really, really dangerous for us, depending on how we choose to respond. I know other writers have said this, so this is not unique to us, but we don't choose suffering. In many ways, suffering chooses us. And so the choice for us then is not what kind of suffering I get to walk through or don't get to walk through.
00:02:56
Speaker
the choice for us is, what am I going to do with the suffering that I found myself in? And I think that's the challenge for us as followers of Jesus, as we find ourself. The psalmist says in Psalm 69, I have come into the deep waters, the flood waters engulf me. And so now that I've come into deep waters, now that the flood waters
00:03:15
Speaker
have surrounded me. What am I going to do? What choice am I going to make in the midst of my suffering? Am I going to turn towards God or away from God? Or am I going to begin to turn to a variety of other things to try to minimize, numb, distract, or in some way try to escape or help me escape the storm that I found myself in?
00:03:38
Speaker
Right, and we're not saying that we don't all really fight with that, you know, with that tendency to run away from it all because that is our natural response to something like that. But when we try to run away from the pain, we can really miss out on what God wants to do in and through us. So that's why we want to help you get through it.
First Steps in Dealing with Suffering
00:04:03
Speaker
And as we talk about these three steps to help you get through the hard stuff,
00:04:06
Speaker
Honey, I really want to speak specifically to you so you can speak out of your experience over the last couple of years through, just as a human who has really suffered on what you feel like has helped you, and then also as a pastor and what you would suggest to others. So I'm gonna really be speaking to you on this and really encouraging you to share with our listeners some of the things, some of the advice that you would give.
00:04:36
Speaker
For someone who's going through a trial, maybe they're in the middle of a trial right now, what's the first step that you would say is like the most important thing? So they're in the middle of the storm. They don't know what to do. What would you tell them as that first step? What would you say is so important?
00:04:58
Speaker
Yeah, I think we should probably just step back and like we said in a previous episode, like we're not experts on suffering. No, no. In fact, I stink at suffering. I don't like it. And I think those that know us and walked through that kind of up close and personal over the last couple of years would tell you, yeah, there were times where we doubted and wrestled and cried and we needed other people around us to quote scripture to us and to worship for us or worship over us.
00:05:28
Speaker
and believe for us, and so I'm a wimp when it comes to suffering. I think that was one of the first things I learned was like, oh, there's just a lot of things I have said I believed and have preached, but when the storm hit, I didn't really cling to them. I didn't really believe them like I said I did, and so I think suffering has a way of exposing what we really believe and what we don't believe, and I know we talk about that in the book, we'll talk about that.
00:05:55
Speaker
as time goes on and in other episodes, but I just want to state that up front. We're not experts and I can be really bad at suffering, but I think one of the first things that I would tell somebody that was walking through suffering, and again, this isn't profound, but whatever your suffering is, is to run to Jesus.
Running to Jesus for Strength
00:06:13
Speaker
Nobody will love you like Jesus can and like Jesus will in the midst of your suffering. Your spouse, your closest friends cannot satisfy you. They cannot strengthen you. They cannot sustain you like Jesus can in the midst of your storm. And so I know that sounds super simple and that seems kind of obvious, but I would say that that is the most important choice we can make in the midst of our suffering is will we run to Jesus? Will we cling to him?
00:06:41
Speaker
And I think clinging to Him in the midst of our suffering looks like going to Him often in prayer. It looks like talking to Him when you're sitting in the doctor's room. It looks like opening up the scriptures on a daily basis and saturating yourself in God's Word, allowing the truth of God's Word, the promises of God's Word to fill you and to define what is true and not how you feel. I would, without a question, say run to Jesus, go to Him. I think of
00:07:09
Speaker
You know, there's so many different examples in the scriptures that I would probably point somebody to, but one of the ones we were just talking about recently is John chapter six. And even though it's not specifically about suffering, you know, John chapter six, you know, take some time at some point and go read that whole passage or the whole chapter.
00:07:26
Speaker
But later on in John 6, you know, verses 66 and 67, you know, it's the part where Jesus is talking about how He's the bread of life. And in response to that, some of the disciples are like, this is a really hard teaching. Like He's saying, hey, you have to, you know, feed on my body.
00:07:45
Speaker
and drink my blood. And some of the disciples are like, what are you talking about? We don't get what you're saying. This is a difficult teaching, it says in verse 66. And then really Jesus turns to them and says in verse 67, do you wanna leave me too? In other words, what happens is that as Jesus is teaching some things that they're having a hard time getting their mind around, some of the disciples are turning away from him. And so Jesus looks at them and says, well, do you wanna go as well? Do you too wanna turn away from me? And then Peter,
00:08:15
Speaker
in verse 68, answers Jesus and says, who else would we go to? Who else would we turn to? I love that. In the midst of us and all that's going on, who else could we possibly turn to? And Peter says, you have the words of eternal life.
00:08:31
Speaker
And I love that passage and I love that attitude because again, in the midst of our suffering, like what else could we possibly turn to? There's no show on Netflix that has the answer like Jesus does. There's no drug on the planet that possibly has the solution or the satisfaction that Jesus can bring. There's no friend that will stick closer or will support you like Jesus can. Who else can we turn to
00:08:56
Speaker
but Jesus. And so I just love that one example of Jesus saying, come to me and Peter saying, there's nobody else that we can turn to. You alone have the words of eternal life. And so I want to come to you, I want to keep abiding you, I want to root my life in you. And so that's where I would begin encouraging somebody to come to Jesus and to stay close to Him.
00:09:15
Speaker
Yeah, I love that. And you mentioned that it seems so obvious to run to Jesus, but the truth is it takes intentional work running to him. And I love that you were stating some of those practical ways that what does that look like then? Because of course,
00:09:32
Speaker
Yeah, that sounds great. Let's run to Jesus. But the reason it isn't obvious is because most of us aren't practically just doing that. And so I think one of the things that I know that you do is writing those, you know, those scriptures down, like you mentioned, and you you keep coming back to them in your little notebook and reading them over and over again. And that's just a simple way to practically live that out of actually running to him.
00:09:58
Speaker
Yeah, it's funny you mentioned that because that journal that I bought, and I think we've talked about it before, but that journal I bought the first week of my doctoral studies out of Biola, that is the same journal that I was writing memory verses in throughout the two years of cancer treatment. So it's kind of fun for me. Fun's maybe not the right word.
00:10:19
Speaker
But it is kind of fun for me now to go back, because that's something I do every week. I'm writing a new verse in there, maybe a couple new verses. And I found that memorizing Scripture has actually gotten harder this side of chemotherapy. My memory is not as sharp as it used to, so I have to go back more often and read it. But I go back, and it's so interesting to me to go back, and I can see
00:10:41
Speaker
by the memory verses that I have in my journal, what season we were in or sort of what part of the journey we were on as we were going through that, especially that first year of treatment. And so that's, yeah, one really practical thing. Yeah, I love that. I love that. That I did or that I think many people do as they come to Jesus in the midst of their suffering.
00:11:02
Speaker
Yeah, and like I said, it's it's being intentional about running to him. And it's something you have to keep doing every single day, especially in the middle of the storm. So let's talk about then the people that we surround ourselves with, because obviously, first and foremost,
00:11:21
Speaker
the first thing we do is run to Jesus. And you even said, you know, no friend will give us what Jesus
Community Support During Hardship
00:11:27
Speaker
does. You know, there's nobody that we can run to other than Him to satisfy our needs. But there is such support that can come from surrounding ourselves with the right people when we're going through something that's really hard. So why I stay, you know, talk about your experience with that because we had a, you know, a really good experience
00:11:50
Speaker
with the people in our lives as we went through the last couple of years. So I'd love for you to kind of talk a little bit more about that. Yeah, I know we've talked about before that friends are a great gift, but they're a terrible God. And so, you know, Jesus, our relationship with him is number one. Nobody will satisfy like he can.
00:12:08
Speaker
And yet, friends are a great gift. And obviously, the idea of God giving us community, I mean, that's His idea. And God wants us to live in community and desires for us to have close, meaningful relationships.
00:12:23
Speaker
And when it comes to suffering, that's just one of the reasons why friends are so important because they really do support us and sustain us in profound ways. And we experienced that. I mean, we were just a couple of years into a church plant here in Ann Arbor, Michigan when I was diagnosed. And so we had moved up here from Ohio and there were several other families that had sold their homes and had quit jobs and found new jobs up here and moved their families up here. And so we had a really rich,
00:12:53
Speaker
set of relationships and community when we moved up here.
00:12:57
Speaker
And little did we know how important that was going to be as we walked through my cancer diagnosis. And so surrounding yourself with people is so important. And the gift of those friendships were just incredible. And so they did stuff for us that we couldn't do for ourselves. And so we're just so grateful for the way many of our friends within our church supported us. And then I can think of different friends. I know we've talked about Michael. We talk about him in the book.
00:13:25
Speaker
who was my youth pastor when I was a young lad when I had hair so many years ago and so Michael was my youth pastor and you know he and his wife Barb have just been dear friends and mentors to us and Michael is a stage four cancer survivor, throat cancer survivor and I think initially when he was diagnosed they
00:13:48
Speaker
I think they gave him like a 25% chance to live. That was 17 years ago. And so praise God, just for the Lord's kindness to him. But Michael was one of those friends that stayed really close to me. And there was oftentimes, especially early on, not a day that went by, certainly not a week that went by where he didn't call me. And so that kind of friendship was just so important for me.
00:14:18
Speaker
Especially, I remember one day, you know, I think like in all suffering, you have your good moments. Sometimes how you feel changes by the minute, sometimes by the hour, sometimes by the day. But I was having a really bad day. And this was after, I think, my first stem cell transplant. And I remember you looking at me and saying, you need to call Michael. Yes, thank the Lord for Michael.
00:14:39
Speaker
And so you commanded me is how it felt to call Michael. And like a good husband, I listened. And so I called Michael and I remember just talking to him on the phone and he said to me, hey, pick a day. You tell me when you're free and I'm going to come up. And he lives several hours away.
00:14:57
Speaker
And he drove up from Ohio and we spent the afternoon together and we talked and we drove around Ann Arbor and we ate at a Panera Bread here in Ann Arbor. But friends are so important and so I would say the first thing is you run to Jesus and you root yourself in Him and you stay with Him.
00:15:18
Speaker
But the second thing that we ought to do is we're walking through any kind of suffering as we surround ourselves with the right kind of people. And I say the right kind of people because there's all sorts of wrong people that we ought to be careful of. And I know that sounds bad, but I think oftentimes people can mean well and they can have good intentions. But the right kind of friend is somebody who's just going to come into your life and
00:15:41
Speaker
and they're gonna love you, and they're gonna serve you and bless you, and they're gonna encourage you, and those are the kinds of people you wanna surround yourself with as you're walking through suffering. Yeah, and talking about surrounding ourselves with the right people, I just think, oh my word, it really takes an army of people. You just need that support, and you need it from your friends. I mean, we have incredible family.
00:16:06
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I just remember, I mean, my sisters, you know, who are 10 and 11 years older than I am, you know, Sarah and Sandy and how good they were to us, you know, in terms of calling and texting. They came to visit when I was in the hospital. You know, they came up shortly after I was diagnosed and, you know, had lunch together. And so, and your parents were incredible. I mean, we were, you know, living several hours away from them before we moved up here to plant the church and just
00:16:32
Speaker
in God's goodness and in His wisdom, we would be here and they would be so close. They lived 15 minutes away. And your mom making me my favorite soup when I was in the hospital, just things like that that were such a gift to us. And so I think running to Jesus, staying close to Him, abiding in Him, rooting ourselves in Him, but also surrounding ourselves with the right people, those friends and family.
00:16:53
Speaker
Love doesn't let somebody be alone for too long, and that's what surrounding yourself with the right people will do. You'll have friends or family that will keep coming to you and loving you and supporting you, not just in the crisis, but when the crisis is seemingly over. They stay with you in the midst of your suffering. I love that.
00:17:13
Speaker
so i know you know there's probably many times that it just felt like well i know i felt like oh my word i cannot do this you know when things are just we've the white flag right lord i can't do this i don't have i mean i probably said that multiple times and and i know that there were probably times and and maybe still today that you feel like um giving up or just quitting and
00:17:37
Speaker
And I don't think that's abnormal. I think we all, it's like you can only take so much and it's like, oh my word, Lord, I don't know if I can do this. So what advice would you give to someone who feels like just giving up, throwing in
Perseverance and Endurance in Faith
00:17:53
Speaker
the towel? They just, they really just want to quit. They can't follow God in the middle of their suffering.
00:17:59
Speaker
I'm laughing because I think I literally said that this morning. I think I said I can't do this, Lord. Right now, as I'm talking, my right rib feels like I went nine rounds with Mike Tyson. He was punching me in the rib because I was doing some landscaping last week. Intense landscaping.
00:18:19
Speaker
I know we've talked about our plants. It's not just indoor plants, it's outdoor plants too. And you went on a planting mission. I got started and I couldn't stop. It was like 90 degrees out. And the neighbors were out. I felt like they deserved to see a strong showing. And the neighbor actually asked him if he was having a water gun fight. I have to share that. And he was serious because he was dripping. And Pat's like, no, I'm just planting some plants.
00:18:44
Speaker
That's what happens when you're over 40. Anyways. Anyways. He heard himself. So all that to say, there's lots of different times and different ways where we just feel like, oh, Lord, I don't know if I can take anymore. And I know we certainly felt that way, and I'm joking a little bit this morning, kind of feeling that way, where you just get tired. You get tired of being tired.
00:19:03
Speaker
And so I think one of the great temptations in suffering is just to throw in the towel, to quit, to give up on God, to give up on persevering, to give up on just pressing on. And yet I just am reminded or have been reminded over the last couple of years, like how important that theme of perseverance is in the New Testament. I mean, you read the New Testament, whether it's in the gospels or, you know, we have some verses here listed in the book of James.
00:19:33
Speaker
like perseverance and endurance are just key themes in the New Testament. And I want to just read James chapter one. I know this is probably a really familiar verse for a lot of our friends listening, but James writes to a group of Christians that were suffering, they were enduring trials, and their trials were going to get even more severe as time went on. And so he writes to them,
00:19:54
Speaker
And he says, consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds. In other words, there's not just one kind of trial, there's all sorts of different kinds of trials. And so he says, consider it pure joy whenever you face those trials or whenever you face trials of many kinds. Because you know that the testing of your faith produces something, it produces perseverance. And let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
00:20:24
Speaker
And I love that. Again, I know it's such a familiar verse probably to many of us, but I think the reminder is that God wants to finish something that He started in us. And trials and suffering are part of what God uses, and He brings to completion our maturity, and He grows us and draws us closer to Him.
00:20:46
Speaker
so that we're not lacking anything. And I don't know, but historically, I've been a quitter. And so I can think back to different times in my life where I quit things. I quit, you know, football when I was in fifth grade because, you know, one of the fullbacks came running up the middle and I stuck out my arm trying to stop him instead of. Bad idea. Bad idea. It was about a week later I quit.
00:21:06
Speaker
And I historically have quit when things got difficult. And God has grown me in that a lot over the years and especially over the last two years. And so when you think about patience, I mean, I think the word patience literally means to remain under. It's resisting the year. It's staying put for the purposes of God.
00:21:27
Speaker
it's resisting turning away from God or quitting something when it would be easier to run. And so you see that principle in James chapter 1, and then later on in James, James chapter 5 verses 7 through 11.
00:21:40
Speaker
James writes, Be patient then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming. Not until your trial ends, not until there's money in your bank account, not until the cancer is in remission, but be patient, endure, keep going until Jesus returns. That's when you can give up. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.
00:22:04
Speaker
You too, be patient and stand firm because the Lord's coming is near. Don't grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The judge is standing at the door. So I just love that picture again of a people being committed to walking with God, loving Him, serving Him, trusting Him, enduring, staying put, remembering that God is still God, whether you're on the shore in the midst of the storm,
00:22:29
Speaker
And no matter the outcome. No matter the outcome. Our hope is not how the trial ends. Our hope is in who the trial leads us to. And we know that our trials have led us to the heart of Jesus. They've led us closer to Him. And we have this great promise that one day He is going to return and He's going to restore and renew all things. And so the resurrection of Jesus has changed all of history. Yes. And we get a picture of the end of history in the life and death and resurrection of Jesus.
00:22:59
Speaker
And that enables us and empowers us as we look to Jesus. He's the one who did not quit on us, that he endured the cross and he was raised in victory. He was raised in power. He suffered before he experienced glory and we will too.
00:23:15
Speaker
Hmm. I love that. That's so, so good. And so we have to be careful that, you know, when you're talking about persevering, I think about, you know, endurance and enduring these hardships. And I think when we want to quit, we miss out. And I think that's what you're saying. We miss out on what God has for us.
00:23:34
Speaker
Absolutely. I know we're using an example in James where he's talking about the Lord's return, but there's so many ways too that we experience just the goodness of God here and now where had we quit, we would have missed the fruit that God was growing in us, that we miss
00:23:52
Speaker
a future harvest because we're unwilling to endure a current trial. And so I think that there are so many times where we give up, we stop reading our Bible, we stop praying, we stop going to church, we quit serving, and we miss out on all that God wants to do, that the harvest that He wants to bring
00:24:14
Speaker
because we really quit too soon and we could probably think of all sorts of examples of you know whether it was you know young and you're growing up and you're learning an instrument and you know it gets hard and you quit and you throw it away and yet you never if you quit you never get to experience the joy of sitting down at the piano and just being able to play because you spent years and years of practicing and training yourself and I think there's
00:24:37
Speaker
a similar sort of analogy in the spiritual life that as we walk through trials and suffering, it is painful. Things don't always turn out like we want them to. They don't always turn out like we're praying for them to. And yet God always produces a harvest of righteousness. He always brings good out of it. And sometimes we miss what God wants to give us or do in us because we quit too soon.
00:25:01
Speaker
Yeah, that is so good. So those three steps, those three things to remember, if you are in the middle of a hard season or you've faced the hard stuff, we all will. First of all, run to Jesus. Second of all, surround yourself with the right people. And third, persevere no matter what. Follow him. This has been such a good conversation. And we know what it's like to wonder
00:25:28
Speaker
how you can even take the next step. I know I keep saying that, but I have wondered that over the last couple of years through suffering, how you can even take the next step when you are in the middle of the storm. So we want to equip you even further. And we've actually put together a simple resource with these three steps that we've been talking about in
Resources and Book Information
00:25:50
Speaker
mind. It's called Three Simple Steps to Help You Get Through This. And you can download it or print it off to keep coming back to, and we will be sure
00:25:58
Speaker
to put a link to that resource for you so you can keep referencing it. We'll put that in the show notes. Also in a boat in the middle of a lake isn't here until September 8th. It's coming soon, but you can pre-order the book today and get the first three chapters right away. You can get a scripture memorization guide that we've put together with you in mind.
00:26:20
Speaker
and an exclusive access code to a private Facebook group that we would love for you to join. Pat and I are in there in that private Facebook group and we are giving you a peek into our lives and sharing more resources with you over the next couple of months as you walk through your own storm. You can head to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or really anywhere books are sold to pre-order your copy and we'll be sure to leave the link to the pre-order goodies in the show notes.
00:26:50
Speaker
Well, what a great conversation today talking about getting through the hard stuff. And as you know, if you've been joining us every week, each week we walk away with a key idea.
Enduring Hardships for Future Blessings
00:27:01
Speaker
It's that main takeaway summing up what we've talked about. So today's key idea is we need to be careful not to miss a future harvest because we are unwilling to endure a current hardship.
00:27:16
Speaker
We'll also be sure to put that key idea in the show notes as well as anything else we referenced at rootlegfaith.com forward slash podcast. You can also follow us on Instagram at Patrick W. Schwank and at Ruth Schwank or on Facebook. And as if I haven't said it enough already, we are thrilled you are joining us and we welcome you into our family here at Root Like Faith.
00:27:38
Speaker
If you enjoyed the show today, would you be so kind to leave us a review or a rating? That really helps us. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don't miss an episode.