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S2.Ep14 - Felicia's Story Pt.2- Complications and Aftermath of Pregnancy Loss
139 Plays10 days ago
This week starts with hilarious toddler updates and ends with one of the most vulnerable conversations we've ever had.
Natalie shares stories about Gene's latest adventures—including his obsession with chatting up strangers, demanding answers from store managers, and making sure everyone compliments his curls. Felicia gives an update on Sepp's newest passion: Strider biking, a possible trip to the Strider World Championships, and the realization that she may have accidentally become a sports mom.
Then we shift into a deeply personal conversation as Felicia shares the reality of discovering a nonviable pregnancy and the emotional limbo that followed. We talk about the difficult decisions surrounding miscarriage management, the uncertainty of waiting for a natural miscarriage, and what it was like continuing daily life while carrying a pregnancy that was no longer progressing.
As always, this episode is simply one woman's story and experience—not medical advice—but we hope that sharing it helps anyone who may be walking a similar road feel a little less alone.
Follow along with us on Instagram: Natalie Felicia
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Transcript
Intro
Casual Greetings and Cabin Adventures
00:00:51
Felicia Devine
Hello and welcome back to episode 14. Hi, Natalie.
00:00:54
Natalie Richards
Hello, Felicia. Here we are. don't
00:00:57
Felicia Devine
Here we are, and Natalie sitting next to a bunk bed.
00:01:01
Natalie Richards
know if the screen will be able to see it.
00:01:02
Felicia Devine
just realized that right now.
00:01:04
Natalie Richards
I know.
00:01:05
Felicia Devine
What part of the cabin are you in?
00:01:06
Natalie Richards
I am in, this is like the bunkhouse part of the cabin. So this is like the, there's like the main house.
00:01:10
Felicia Devine
Oh.
00:01:12
Natalie Richards
And then this is bedroom, bathroom, bunk beds, queen sleeper sofa in here.
00:01:18
Felicia Devine
Cool.
00:01:19
Natalie Richards
So it's kind of like a extra. This is actually like where I like to be.
00:01:24
Felicia Devine
Oh, is it?
00:01:24
Natalie Richards
So we we're staying in here this this time.
00:01:26
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:01:27
Natalie Richards
And Gene now, he's at the point that he likes to sleep in the bunk bed by himself. So he'll sleep on this bottom bunk and life is good. Life is good.
00:01:33
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:01:34
Natalie Richards
But it hasn't been like that for the last three and a half years.
00:01:34
Felicia Devine
Oh,
00:01:37
Natalie Richards
So this is our first trip.
00:01:38
Felicia Devine
good.
00:01:40
Natalie Richards
Okay. This is like the last time we were here and this time.
00:01:40
Felicia Devine
Yes, tell us.
00:01:43
Natalie Richards
This is our first trip where I don't have diapers to change.
00:01:47
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:01:48
Natalie Richards
I don't have bottles. I don't have pacifiers. I don't have anything that is like holding me back.
00:01:52
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:01:54
Felicia Devine
Like toddler. Mm-hmm.
00:01:55
Natalie Richards
We now have a normal child that
Toddler Milestones and Social Growth
00:01:58
Natalie Richards
is sleeping and it's wonderful.
00:02:02
Felicia Devine
Just in time for you to get that puppy.
00:02:06
Natalie Richards
I know. And Jean, if anybody's paying attention, Jean will be four in three weeks.
00:02:06
Felicia Devine
And start body training all over again.
00:02:12
Natalie Richards
Okay. This is how long this takes to like be, be into having a normal child.
00:02:13
Felicia Devine
That's insane.
00:02:19
Natalie Richards
Oh my gosh.
00:02:19
Felicia Devine
Wow. Yeah, I'm at two years.
00:02:21
Natalie Richards
oh
00:02:23
Felicia Devine
Wow.
00:02:24
Natalie Richards
And he, yeah.
00:02:25
Felicia Devine
Halfway there.
00:02:25
Natalie Richards
I mean, he still has his like comfort blanket. That's, that's a whole other thing, but he may have that forever.
00:02:29
Felicia Devine
Oh, that thing is hysterical. We were in Disney in November and it was like 85 degrees and Gene is wrapped up in a queen size fluffy blanket in Disney World.
00:02:32
Natalie Richards
He might have that forever.
00:02:35
Natalie Richards
Oh, Jeannie, of course, literally like a full size bed blanket. And that's what he takes with him everywhere.
00:02:43
Felicia Devine
Like bigger than his stroller. But if that's what he needs to nap, then like pop off Gene.
00:02:50
Natalie Richards
He's good and he's good to go.
00:02:51
Felicia Devine
Have at Yeah.
00:02:52
Natalie Richards
He's good to go.
00:02:53
Felicia Devine
Oh, that's so good.
00:02:54
Natalie Richards
I just heard him. He came out of the other house. He goes, where's mommy?
00:02:58
Felicia Devine
Mommy's hiding.
00:03:00
Natalie Richards
Gene is doing he's watching creature videos with my brother. So my brother was showing him showing him lizards and and things.
00:03:03
Felicia Devine
Oh, fine. Yeah.
00:03:07
Natalie Richards
So we'll see how long that lasts. But
00:03:09
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:03:10
Natalie Richards
we'll we'll do our best. It's
00:03:11
Felicia Devine
We'll do our best to keep hiding.
00:03:14
Natalie Richards
like, where's mommy?
00:03:14
Felicia Devine
OK. What are some updated stories from the last week?
00:03:18
Natalie Richards
Okay. Gene has been so funny this trip. Honestly, because he is way more independent right now. Like he's, he's branching out a little bit. He's so funny.
00:03:26
Felicia Devine
OK.
00:03:28
Natalie Richards
This kid is hilarious. He is obsessed with like, what's the age range? Probably from like seven years old to like 16 year old girls.
00:03:40
Natalie Richards
Okay. Maybe like 18, depending on how young they look.
00:03:46
Felicia Devine
Oh my goodness.
00:03:46
Natalie Richards
So he is like, he's got like laser beams for eyes. Like he sees someone in that age range and locks in and he, he wants to, he just goes, he beelines, he beelines over to them, stands in front of them and goes, Hi, how was your yesterday?
00:03:52
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:03:55
Felicia Devine
Licky, wants to go play with them?
00:04:05
Natalie Richards
How was your, how's everything going?
00:04:06
Felicia Devine
I was here yesterday.
00:04:07
Natalie Richards
Are you enjoying, are you enjoying being up here? Are you, what kind of ice cream are you getting?
00:04:11
Felicia Devine
Aww.
00:04:12
Natalie Richards
He says, I get vanilla ice cream. He just says, my mommy's a chiropractor. She does adjustments. And then she he says, have doggies.
00:04:19
Felicia Devine
My dad, he's a police officer. He arrests people.
00:04:21
Natalie Richards
I have doggies. They are Duke and River. And he like trails on and on and on and on and on.
00:04:26
Felicia Devine
Oh
00:04:27
Natalie Richards
I'm just standing there like, this is my worst nightmare. Yeah.
00:04:30
Felicia Devine
my gosh, he's so social.
00:04:32
Natalie Richards
He's so social. He is my mother.
00:04:33
Felicia Devine
Wow.
00:04:34
Natalie Richards
I've told you this before.
00:04:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:04:35
Natalie Richards
He is my mom reincarnated in a little boy's body.
00:04:37
Felicia Devine
He's Anita reincarnated.
00:04:41
Felicia Devine
Wait, Jinx, we just both said that.
00:04:42
Natalie Richards
And she thinks it's hilarious.
00:04:46
Felicia Devine
Yeah,
Parenting Challenges and Decisions
00:04:46
Felicia Devine
because she's right behind him doing the exact same thing.
00:04:47
Natalie Richards
Because she's doing the same thing. She's trying to go talk to everyone as well.
00:04:50
Felicia Devine
Yes. nice Yes.
00:04:53
Natalie Richards
But he just like latches on to these girls and it's hilarious. So everywhere we go, we've been to this ice cream place that's like down the street from us now three times.
00:04:58
Felicia Devine
Oh.
00:05:02
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:05:03
Natalie Richards
And every time, conveniently, there's a lovely girl to talk to or groups because all the camp counselors are up here right now getting ready for the summer.
00:05:03
Felicia Devine
Oh, my God.
00:05:09
Felicia Devine
Oh. Mm-hmm.
00:05:13
Natalie Richards
And they'll come in like in groups of people and they're all just like I don't know, 16, 17, 18. So funny.
00:05:18
Felicia Devine
He loves it
00:05:19
Natalie Richards
He loves it. And so he's been a social little butterfly and it's so cute.
00:05:24
Felicia Devine
I love that.
00:05:25
Natalie Richards
What was the other funny thing that he's been doing? Oh, he, when we go to stores and they might not have like what he was expecting that we would get at that store. He will seek out a manager and he will go find them and say, mommy, I have to ask them.
00:05:47
Natalie Richards
I have to talk to them about where this thing is. Like, oh my God.
00:05:50
Felicia Devine
He is so Anita.
00:05:53
Natalie Richards
I'm like, Jean, no, no, no. We don't have to do that. It's okay.
00:05:55
Felicia Devine
Why don't you carry organic grapes?
00:05:55
Natalie Richards
We're... I'm not even kidding. he Costco, our Costco, they used to have like this, this bottled water machine in the food court.
00:06:06
Felicia Devine
Oh.
00:06:07
Natalie Richards
I don't know if all Costco's have them, but ours did. And you can get a bottle of water for 25 cents. So you put a quarter in, it does, it's the whole like fun funky thing where it grabs the water and it brings it down to the
00:06:17
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:06:18
Natalie Richards
to the opening and he thinks it's like the coolest thing ever. They took it away from the food court and he could not let it go. Like with the whole time that we were walking out, goes, mom, I have to ask them where they took the water machine.
00:06:32
Natalie Richards
So then the guy who checks out your receipt at the end, he goes, where did the water machine go?
00:06:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:06:39
Felicia Devine
Where is it
00:06:40
Natalie Richards
Where is it? Like, why did you take it away?
00:06:43
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And the guy probably didn't have any clue.
00:06:46
Natalie Richards
And they were like, well I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about.
00:06:51
Felicia Devine
He's like, oh, come again.
00:06:51
Natalie Richards
So anyway, he is like literally the definition of, can I ask your manager?
00:06:53
Felicia Devine
Oh
00:06:56
Natalie Richards
Like he he's a king he's a Karen.
00:06:57
Felicia Devine
gosh. That's so good He is a Karen.
00:07:02
Natalie Richards
o
00:07:03
Felicia Devine
oh my God, he's your mother though.
00:07:04
Felicia Devine
That is wild.
00:07:04
Natalie Richards
It's funny.
00:07:05
Natalie Richards
He's my mother. So that's what he's been doing lately. And he's turning into a very interesting personality that I don't know what to do with because I would never in my entire life go ask somebody those questions.
00:07:18
Felicia Devine
No. No, and I don't think Kyle would either.
00:07:22
Natalie Richards
No. So this is purely my mom.
00:07:25
Felicia Devine
This is a form of torture.
00:07:26
Natalie Richards
coming down through the generations said I'm parenting my mother
00:07:27
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:07:31
Felicia Devine
Oh my gosh.
00:07:34
Felicia Devine
I love it.
00:07:35
Natalie Richards
so that's what he's been doing it's so funny anybody who who knows Gene is and has been around Gene kind of knows that that's how he is he's just so funny oh the other thing he has beautiful blonde curls right
00:07:37
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:07:43
Felicia Devine
That's so cute. I love it.
00:07:48
Felicia Devine
Oh, they're gorgeous. Mm-hmm.
00:07:50
Natalie Richards
He's gotten really used to people looking at him saying, wow, you have amazing hair.
00:07:56
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:07:57
Natalie Richards
he now, if somebody doesn't mention his hair upon first glance, he says, do you like my curls?
00:08:04
Felicia Devine
You didn't say anything, Seamus. Hate them.
00:08:09
Natalie Richards
He has to make sure that people mention his curls.
00:08:10
Felicia Devine
Really?
00:08:12
Natalie Richards
It's funny. He's done it three times on this trip alone.
00:08:15
Felicia Devine
my gosh.
00:08:16
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:08:17
Felicia Devine
Do you like my girls?
00:08:20
Felicia Devine
s Sep also gets lots of compliments on his blonde girls.
00:08:23
Natalie Richards
as he will continue to.
00:08:24
Felicia Devine
Yeah, and he just like pats them. People are like, oh my God, your hair is so cute. I love it. And he goes, like, he's like, I know.
00:08:31
Natalie Richards
Oh, that's so cute. He's like, I know. Enough people have told me.
00:08:34
Felicia Devine
I know.
00:08:36
Felicia Devine
o
00:08:37
Natalie Richards
It's really funny.
00:08:38
Felicia Devine
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:38
Natalie Richards
So Sefi is going to be, you're going to be in the same boat where people are just going to constantly, it just blows up their little ego, which is great as a child.
00:08:41
Felicia Devine
I know.
00:08:46
Felicia Devine
Yes, yes, yeah.
00:08:47
Natalie Richards
It's fine. But I don't know what that, I don't know what that becomes.
00:08:50
Felicia Devine
He's recently stopped being called a girl, which is so nice.
00:08:54
Natalie Richards
Oh, that's good.
00:08:55
Felicia Devine
He was called a callda girl his entire babyhood, child toddlerhood, up until pretty recently.
00:09:00
Natalie Richards
Jean was called the girl. Yeah, Jean was called the girl just the other day.
00:09:03
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And just yesterday.
00:09:07
Natalie Richards
In full boy attire.
00:09:09
Felicia Devine
I know. like, he's wearing blue and dinosaurs.
00:09:14
Felicia Devine
And yeah, I'm like all the things, a baggy short, a loose fitting boxy tee, like not a frill about it. And, oh, she's so cute.
00:09:14
Natalie Richards
orange
00:09:24
Natalie Richards
Mm-mm.
00:09:25
Felicia Devine
And I'm like, that's so odd.
00:09:27
Natalie Richards
It's so funny. Mm-hmm.
00:09:28
Felicia Devine
I'm
Felicia's Miscarriage Journey Begins
00:09:28
Felicia Devine
like, whatever. But yeah, it doesn't matter.
00:09:30
Natalie Richards
Whatever. It doesn't matter. What other cute things is he doing?
00:09:34
Felicia Devine
So i I am a hypocrite through and through.
00:09:41
Natalie Richards
Oh, no. Oh, no.
00:09:45
Felicia Devine
I have been preaching from the mountaintops that I will not sign my kids up for sports.
00:09:51
Natalie Richards
Oh, no. Not yet. but
00:09:54
Felicia Devine
I will not sign my kids up for sports. Organized sports are a like disaster for little people. i was like, I didn't start organized sports until I was eight and I turned out just fine.
00:09:59
Natalie Richards
They are.
00:10:03
Felicia Devine
i have two state champions on my fingers.
00:10:03
Natalie Richards
That makes me feel better.
00:10:05
Felicia Devine
Yeah, yeah.
00:10:05
Natalie Richards
Okay, good. Okay, cool.
00:10:07
Felicia Devine
I'm like, you don't need to be an organized sport when you're three years old.
00:10:09
Natalie Richards
Uh-huh.
00:10:12
Felicia Devine
Well, here we are. We're two. We just crested the two-year-old birthday. I mean, he's literally 25 months old. And I think we're taking him to... The Strider World Championship in Sarasota, Florida.
00:10:26
Natalie Richards
Okay, he's really good at it though.
00:10:29
Felicia Devine
He's really good at it.
00:10:29
Natalie Richards
The strider bike, he's so good at it.
00:10:31
Felicia Devine
Yes.
00:10:32
Natalie Richards
I told you, Gene's genes proportions could have never allowed him to do that.
00:10:32
Felicia Devine
And the World Championship.
00:10:37
Natalie Richards
He he cannot ride a strider bike.
00:10:39
Felicia Devine
He wouldn't have fit.
00:10:40
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:10:41
Natalie Richards
No, his legs are too long and that no matter what adjustments you do, he doesn't fit on the bike.
00:10:46
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:10:47
Natalie Richards
Seppi is like the perfect, proportionally perfect for a strider bike and he's really good at it.
00:10:49
Felicia Devine
Proportionately perfect. Yeah.
00:10:53
Felicia Devine
Yes. He's so good at it. And he's so brave. And the, so Strider is the brand of bike and it's the type of bike that doesn't have pedals and they come in a size 12 inch and a so size 14 inch.
00:10:58
Natalie Richards
oh
00:11:07
Felicia Devine
Now in Florida for I think I want to say, don't quote me.
00:11:08
Natalie Richards
Oh my God.
00:11:13
Felicia Devine
I want to say 15 years now they've held the world championship and
00:11:18
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:11:18
Felicia Devine
for these Strider bikes. And they do 12 inch category and a 14 inch category.
00:11:23
Natalie Richards
Do they really...
00:11:24
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And they do two year olds, three year olds and four year olds. Like each category is its own age and and size.
00:11:29
Natalie Richards
Wow. Age and size of bike. Okay.
00:11:32
Felicia Devine
And but Dan's sister lives in Sarasota.
00:11:34
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:11:37
Felicia Devine
So I'm like, it makes sense to go down and do a family trip, but also sign my kid up for the world championship race of the Strider divisions.
00:11:47
Natalie Richards
How do you think he would actually do with all those people and with like everybody going at the same time?
00:11:52
Felicia Devine
The positive is that he's around a lot of people all the time.
00:11:56
Natalie Richards
That's true.
00:11:56
Felicia Devine
He's not shy.
00:11:57
Felicia Devine
He's very outgoing. So I don't fear that when we get there, he would be like stage fright. Kind of like, I don't think he would clam up.
00:11:58
Natalie Richards
That's true.
00:12:05
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:12:09
Felicia Devine
And he just like lives and breathes and like eats his bike.
00:12:14
Natalie Richards
so cute. Obviously he does.
00:12:15
Felicia Devine
Like everything about him centers around his helmet, his bike, putting on shoes to go bike ride. like we bike ride every day, all day long.
00:12:25
Natalie Richards
Every day.
00:12:26
Felicia Devine
So yeah.
00:12:26
Natalie Richards
And he sees his dad also doing that. So why would it be any different?
00:12:28
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And so he just like is really good at it and really passionate. And I'm like, honestly, it's almost like funny. I like want to do it for the, like the comic of like my kid raced in the world championship at two years old.
00:12:36
Natalie Richards
You just, yes. It's more funny. Yeah.
00:12:44
Natalie Richards
think you have to.
00:12:44
Felicia Devine
My kids, my kids a world champion at two years old.
00:12:45
Natalie Richards
Wait, what part of Florida is it
00:12:49
Felicia Devine
Sarasota.
00:12:50
Natalie Richards
Oh, it's in Sarasota. Okay.
00:12:50
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:12:51
Felicia Devine
So I'm like, we could kill two birds with one stone, make it a family trip.
00:12:51
Natalie Richards
Okay.
00:12:52
Natalie Richards
Oh my gosh, how fun.
00:12:55
Felicia Devine
But also I think it would be so fun to just like see, see if he has passion for it, which he does.
00:12:59
Natalie Richards
Do it. And you know what?
00:13:00
Felicia Devine
But
00:13:01
Natalie Richards
I don't feel like that's organized sports at all.
00:13:04
Felicia Devine
you don't.
00:13:04
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:13:04
Natalie Richards
I've no, no, don't think you, I don't think you're a hypocrite.
00:13:07
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:13:08
Natalie Richards
No, that's like a life skill.
00:13:09
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:13:11
Felicia Devine
okay
00:13:11
Natalie Richards
That's not like you put him in soccer and watch him run across a field chasing butterflies.
00:13:15
Natalie Richards
Like that's very different.
00:13:16
Felicia Devine
Okay. All right. So I was like, oh my God, I'm such a silly girl. Cause I just keep like hating on people in organized sport.
00:13:21
Natalie Richards
No,
00:13:24
Felicia Devine
So yeah, I think we're going to do that.
00:13:25
Natalie Richards
no, I think that's cute.
00:13:26
Felicia Devine
And so this past week we took him to his first pump track.
00:13:31
Natalie Richards
I saw that, that was so cute.
00:13:32
Felicia Devine
And you would have, like, we were joking about the Sarasota thing beforehand. And then we show up to the track. We're all by ourselves. It's a dirt track. So it's like not that scary, to be honest with you.
00:13:44
Felicia Devine
And there's so many different options. So it's not like he has to go down these like huge trick, like obstacles or like any of these features that are like overtly giant.
00:13:51
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:13:54
Felicia Devine
So we get there.
00:13:54
Natalie Richards
right
00:13:56
Felicia Devine
He is so scared, Natalie.
00:13:59
Felicia Devine
He wouldn't even get on the bike. he was standing at the top of like this little dirt mound. And he's like, no, no.
00:13:59
Natalie Richards
Oh no.
00:14:06
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:14:08
Felicia Devine
And we're like, oh no.
00:14:08
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:14:09
Felicia Devine
So we were like, okay, so Sarasota out of the picture.
00:14:12
Felicia Devine
We were like, no, Sarasota. And then i was like, well, how about we think we walk the little trail? Like we walk on the little features and we just like walk around and we take some of the pressure off.
00:14:12
Natalie Richards
Out.
00:14:21
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:14:23
Felicia Devine
So he walked them. Then he gets on his bike and he's like, like he got on the bike, but then he still was like terrified. Well, would you imagine in like 30 minutes, Nat, he was going full force all by himself.
00:14:36
Natalie Richards
Of course, because he's got he's got it.
00:14:36
Felicia Devine
He went from not even standing on it. Yeah. Not even wanting to be there to drifting and shredding in 30 minutes.
00:14:42
Natalie Richards
oh
00:14:45
Natalie Richards
See, what an amazing life skill. You know what?
00:14:47
Felicia Devine
I was like, I'm so proud of him.
00:14:47
Natalie Richards
Sorry.
00:14:48
Felicia Devine
And we really weren't like, get on your bike. Like we were just like, you can do these things.
00:14:51
Natalie Richards
No. Encouraging.
00:14:53
Felicia Devine
Like I truly knew he had the skill.
00:14:53
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:14:55
Felicia Devine
Like he's very balanced.
00:14:56
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:14:58
Felicia Devine
He knows how to like lift his feet and glide.
00:14:58
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:15:00
Felicia Devine
Like I wasn't putting him in a skill that like, or like an obstacle that he couldn't achieve.
00:15:00
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:15:06
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:15:07
Felicia Devine
But it was so funny to watch him go from like being absolutely terrified to crushing the skillset in like 30 minutes.
00:15:11
Natalie Richards
Oh, that's so cute.
00:15:13
Felicia Devine
And he was so he was so sweaty. His cheeks were so red. He was like drenched in sweat because he was going so hard. And okay we just blew the top off of that.
00:15:24
Felicia Devine
Like get us to October and that skill development to October, he's gonna crush it.
00:15:29
Natalie Richards
no kidding. I love this. I love it.
00:15:32
Felicia Devine
And he'll be two and a half exactly.
00:15:33
Natalie Richards
And he'll be too. Yeah.
00:15:34
Felicia Devine
yeah so I'm like, he'll be like in that sweet spot of like, he's had enough time as a two-year-old to be in that division.
00:15:41
Natalie Richards
Oh, right.
00:15:43
Felicia Devine
I wish he was a little closer to three, but I don't know.
00:15:45
Natalie Richards
Whatever.
00:15:46
Felicia Devine
I mean, I don't know.
00:15:46
Natalie Richards
Whatever.
00:15:47
Felicia Devine
Like we could show up and all these kids could be literal experts or we could show up and it could just be like, kids are just starting to ride the Strider.
00:15:48
Natalie Richards
He'll be well-developed.
00:15:53
Felicia Devine
I don't know. Yeah.
00:15:54
Natalie Richards
His motor skills have already been so well-developed.
00:15:58
Felicia Devine
yeah Yeah. But the kid has loose elbows.
00:15:58
Natalie Richards
Like, he's good.
00:15:59
Natalie Richards
Gene, I cannot say the same.
00:16:02
Felicia Devine
Oh my gosh, Natalie.
00:16:02
Natalie Richards
Does he? oh no
00:16:06
Felicia Devine
He dislocates his elbow. Like the week we went to the beach, he dislocated his elbows like four or five times.
00:16:08
Natalie Richards
What?
00:16:12
Felicia Devine
In a one week, like nothing.
00:16:12
Natalie Richards
Wait, how? Just like doing normal. Oh.
00:16:16
Felicia Devine
No, doing nothing. That's the scary part.
00:16:18
Natalie Richards
Oh no.
00:16:19
Felicia Devine
Like he can, like yesterday we were at a birthday party with like these jungle gyms. He was hanging from rings swinging, like double hand hanging from ring swinging. Totally fine.
00:16:29
Natalie Richards
And they, yes.
00:16:30
Felicia Devine
Totally fine. He goes to bed at night and wakes up with dislocated elbows.
00:16:34
Natalie Richards
What?
00:16:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:16:36
Natalie Richards
Oh, that's so weird.
00:16:36
Felicia Devine
I'm not, I'm not kidding.
00:16:37
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Dislocates his elbows doing nothing.
00:16:37
Natalie Richards
He might have, I mean, with your like hand thing, like he may have some sort of connective tissue, something you'll have to see.
00:16:45
Felicia Devine
Yes. So I got us, I got the both of us, these copper and iron drops. And then going to start giving him a little bit of collagen, see how his belly takes it.
00:16:50
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:16:54
Felicia Devine
But that should be good for like ligament
00:16:54
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:16:56
Felicia Devine
strength and stability but yeah he he has the weirdest elbows because like i'm not kidding he's the roughest he'll be doing flips and tumbles and jumping around and doing back flips on the the bounce house and then like we'll go to like do something like so simple like he'll be laying on the ground and it'll dislocate and i'm like what just happened yeah and it's both elbows
00:16:56
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:16:58
Natalie Richards
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so weird.
00:17:09
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:17:13
Natalie Richards
Oh my What? There's something with some weird angle that he's doing or something.
00:17:22
Felicia Devine
Yeah, yeah, I know.
00:17:22
Natalie Richards
Interesting. Okay.
00:17:24
Felicia Devine
So I'm like, okay, we have a lot going for us.
00:17:25
Natalie Richards
That's odd. Good
00:17:27
Felicia Devine
And then these elbows are really like pink in my hose.
00:17:30
Natalie Richards
thing biking doesn't really require good elbow strength.
00:17:32
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:17:35
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:17:35
Felicia Devine
You can have s floppy elbows and be a cyclist. But it's weird because he is like, he's strong, but those elbows just are loose.
00:17:39
Natalie Richards
Thank goodness.
00:17:44
Natalie Richards
Interesting. Yeah.
00:17:44
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:17:45
Natalie Richards
he He has the muscle. Okay. That's interesting.
00:17:48
Felicia Devine
Yeah, so that's my update.
00:17:48
Natalie Richards
But I
The Physical Ordeal and ER Visit
00:17:50
Natalie Richards
love that for you. I think you absolutely should do it.
00:17:52
Felicia Devine
I know. And I'm like, I'm a cycling mommy now, you know, and I've always been like a cycling wife.
00:17:55
Natalie Richards
Of course. Oh, I love it. It's so cute.
00:17:57
Felicia Devine
So I've like kind of been in it for a long time now.
00:17:57
Natalie Richards
You have.
00:18:01
Natalie Richards
It's amazing.
00:18:01
Felicia Devine
I love going to races. I love like what you wear to a bike race. Like it's just, that's my life.
00:18:07
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:18:08
Felicia Devine
I love it.
00:18:08
Natalie Richards
Yep. it It makes sense.
00:18:10
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah. Seth already has three bikes.
00:18:11
Natalie Richards
Nothing else makes sense.
00:18:13
Felicia Devine
He's two. he has three bikes and he has three different helmets.
00:18:19
Natalie Richards
I expect nothing Okay.
00:18:22
Felicia Devine
That is, like, his favorite gift for Christmas this past year was a helmet. We, like, couldn't move on.
00:18:29
Natalie Richards
It's my nephew. I got him a snowboarding helmet last year for Christmas and he now wears it all day, every day.
00:18:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:18:36
Natalie Richards
It's a full on snowboarding helmet.
00:18:36
Felicia Devine
Yes. Yes.
00:18:38
Natalie Richards
And he he only wears it on like the top of his head.
00:18:41
Felicia Devine
Oh,
00:18:43
Natalie Richards
Sitting just like on the crown of his head.
00:18:45
Felicia Devine
my gosh. It's so cute.
00:18:46
Natalie Richards
It's so cute. I love, i love it.
00:18:47
Felicia Devine
I love it. Yeah, yeah. So Sepi is like a little sport guy.
00:18:50
Natalie Richards
It's so funny.
00:18:52
Natalie Richards
Amazing.
00:18:52
Felicia Devine
So it's been fun.
00:18:52
Natalie Richards
I love that.
00:18:53
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:18:54
Natalie Richards
Amazing. That's going to be so cute.
00:18:56
Felicia Devine
Yeah, so I think that's our only like weekly update. i don't think anything else really happened.
00:18:59
Natalie Richards
Yeah, or like fun updates. Our last episode, we teased a little a little intensity.
00:19:03
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yes.
00:19:06
Felicia Devine
Yes. So now we can get into that.
00:19:07
Natalie Richards
So we're going to we're going to dive into what Felicia was talking about when she said things are a little shocking in the weeks that that led after the initial like ultrasound of finding out that there was no baby.
00:19:16
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:19:20
Felicia Devine
We found out.
00:19:23
Felicia Devine
said
00:19:27
Felicia Devine
There was no baby in my uterus, but there were other things.
00:19:28
Natalie Richards
But there, right. There were other things. Right. So now we're going to get into what the heck does that mean?
00:19:34
Felicia Devine
and Yes. So again, we'll offer a little trigger warning. We're sharing about pregnancy loss and my experience with it.
00:19:45
Felicia Devine
Now this is my story.
00:19:45
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:19:47
Felicia Devine
It's not everybody's. And if you're going through your pregnancy loss, make your own decisions with your own healthcare team.
00:19:49
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:19:55
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:19:55
Felicia Devine
So based on what I did, this is my experience.
00:19:55
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Right. Right. This is, yeah.
00:20:00
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:20:04
Felicia Devine
I
00:20:08
Felicia Devine
know.
00:20:08
Natalie Richards
And you end up having like the worst possible scenario in a lot of things.
00:20:12
Felicia Devine
know
00:20:14
Natalie Richards
And it's really unfortunate because
00:20:15
Felicia Devine
It is. And I joke with people because I'm like, I am so, like not to brag, but like I'm a very healthy person.
00:20:23
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:20:24
Felicia Devine
take extremely good care of myself.
00:20:26
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:20:26
Felicia Devine
I'm extremely good to myself. I don't have any like toxic behaviors.
00:20:28
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:20:32
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:20:33
Felicia Devine
And then these things happen to me that I'm like, this is odd.
00:20:36
Natalie Richards
Like, how does that actually happen? But it is what it is.
00:20:39
Felicia Devine
It's frustrating. But I prevail every time.
00:20:43
Natalie Richards
It's teaching lessons.
00:20:44
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:20:44
Natalie Richards
And now we have a platform that you can actually, like, teach people about what is happening.
00:20:47
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah. Because honestly, I didn't know anything about this.
00:20:50
Natalie Richards
So, right.
00:20:51
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:20:52
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:20:52
Felicia Devine
So we kind of left off with I went to work on Wednesday and Thursday after. So if just to recap, I found out I lost the pregnancy on Wednesday morning.
00:21:05
Felicia Devine
I got the ultrasound at a private clinic and they said, oh, there's like no baby. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. However, on the ultrasound, I did have a placenta and a like a embryonic sac.
00:21:17
Natalie Richards
Thecal sac.
00:21:18
Felicia Devine
Like, yeah, like there were baby parts, but the baby was like missing in action, right?
00:21:19
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yep.
00:21:24
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Which is very devastating because how do you tell people like, oh, there's no heartbeat. And then, but you're like also like, but there was no baby like that.
00:21:24
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:21:32
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:21:32
Felicia Devine
And honestly, of all the things that happened, I found that to be the most embarrassing.
00:21:38
Natalie Richards
The weird, yeah. Yeah.
00:21:39
Felicia Devine
Like I was like embarrassed to say there was no baby. i don't know why.
00:21:42
Natalie Richards
Yes. yes
00:21:44
Felicia Devine
Like, I was just like, that's like, almost like I was like fake.
00:21:46
Natalie Richards
Well, because it's very strange.
00:21:49
Felicia Devine
Not, I don't want to say faking. Almost like I was like grieving something that didn't even exist. So like, why are you grieving?
00:21:54
Felicia Devine
That's how I felt. But I like grew a placenta. I grew a fecal sac. Like I had baby parts.
00:21:54
Natalie Richards
Okay.
00:21:58
Natalie Richards
Yeah. You had all the, yes.
00:22:00
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah. But what I didn't have was what they call a fetal pole.
00:22:02
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:22:05
Felicia Devine
And that's like the actual baby that is developing.
00:22:05
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:22:07
Felicia Devine
Cause like when it's a new embryo, it's like, there's no like baby parts anyway, right? Like at at nine weeks, it's just like a little tadpole.
00:22:13
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:16
Felicia Devine
Not, okay.
00:22:17
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:22:17
Felicia Devine
that's That's an exaggeration. It's like a very small, like inch and a half long fetus without arms.
00:22:21
Natalie Richards
It's... Yes. Yes.
00:22:25
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Okay.
00:22:26
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:22:26
Felicia Devine
So I go about... My work day, Wednesday. i go about my work day, Thursday. Now at this point, my staff knows and my family knows, my midwife, Natalie, like those people know, but my patients don't know.
00:22:37
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:22:40
Natalie Richards
All right.
00:22:41
Felicia Devine
And they're like, oh, you're glowing. Oh, it must be the pregnancy. Oh, you look so cute today. It must be the pregnancy.
00:22:47
Natalie Richards
It must be.
00:22:49
Felicia Devine
The amount of people that like, I want to say complimented me because that's like what their intention was.
00:22:54
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:22:54
Felicia Devine
They're like, oh my God, you look so cute in that outfit. You're glowing. Must be the pregnant. I'm like,
00:22:59
Natalie Richards
It was probably like more that day than ever before.
00:23:01
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:02
Natalie Richards
oh God.
00:23:02
Felicia Devine
And it was just funny because like my staff would like look at me and I'm like, well, I'm not going to like Google up the room right now.
00:23:06
Natalie Richards
No, no, no, no, no. no
00:23:08
Felicia Devine
Cause I also found it very odd in the days to follow the ultrasound, how to present that I had had a miscarriage, right?
00:23:17
Natalie Richards
That information. Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:19
Felicia Devine
Because you had the miscarriage, AKA there is no viable fetus.
00:23:23
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:23:24
Felicia Devine
However, I haven't lost the, but like I haven't lost the things like the miscarriage hasn't currently happened.
00:23:27
Natalie Richards
You haven't gone through. Mm-hmm.
00:23:31
Felicia Devine
So I found it very difficult to express what had happened because it hadn't happened yet.
00:23:34
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. Yes.
00:23:36
Felicia Devine
So I was in this limbo of like, do I say I lost the baby or do I say I'm losing the baby or do I say it's about to start?
00:23:40
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:23:41
Felicia Devine
Like, I don't know.
00:23:43
Natalie Richards
Yeah, because you don't know where you're at.
00:23:43
Felicia Devine
It was a really weird thing. So I kind of like chose to forego saying anything to anybody outside of my exact circle until it had happened.
00:23:55
Natalie Richards
And that's also like really hard when somebody is coming to you really excited and like, oh, how's the pregnancy?
00:23:59
Felicia Devine
Nice.
00:24:01
Natalie Richards
And you say, you have to decide whether you want to really bring that energy down.
00:24:05
Felicia Devine
Yes, I know. So I, for an actual week, I was lying to people's faces, which was totally fine with me because yeah, you're right.
00:24:06
Natalie Richards
m oh
00:24:11
Natalie Richards
I think that is a-okay. Okay.
00:24:14
Felicia Devine
Like I didn't know how to be like, we lost the baby, but we didn't lose the baby, but it's going to start, but it didn't start yet.
00:24:17
Natalie Richards
Right. You don't need to get into all of that.
00:24:20
Felicia Devine
yeah So I was like, I'll just wait till everything like is said and done.
00:24:21
Natalie Richards
m
00:24:24
Felicia Devine
And then we will move on.
00:24:24
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:26
Felicia Devine
So the weekend hits, I'm now talking with my team. AKA like Natalie, my family, and midwife, and we're deciding on three options.
00:24:33
Natalie Richards
We talked. Yeah. Right.
00:24:38
Felicia Devine
Do I wait for this to pass naturally? So in a natural unassisted miscarriage, your body will detach the placenta and you will bleed and not you'll bleed and clot and pass the contents.
00:24:47
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:24:57
Natalie Richards
Yes, yes.
00:24:58
Felicia Devine
and then there's another option where you can take a medication and that medication is kind of like, think of what they give people when they're like starting a, induction to start the process of detaching the placenta and like moving the baby out.
00:25:09
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:25:13
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:25:14
Felicia Devine
Or there's the third option of the surgery called a DNC or a DNE. now a DNC is a dilation and surclose.
00:25:19
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:25:24
Natalie Richards
Circlage, I believe.
00:25:26
Felicia Devine
Is that it?
00:25:27
Natalie Richards
Circlage, I'm pretty sure.
00:25:28
Felicia Devine
thought a cerclage was when they so sew your cervix together.
00:25:31
Natalie Richards
Oh, that is dilation and...
00:25:32
Felicia Devine
A DNC, dilation and something. Or a DNE, which is a dilation and evacuate. Yeah, evacuate.
00:25:41
Felicia Devine
Oh, now I'm confusing myself. Anyway, there's two options. They're kind of the same thing.
00:25:41
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:25:46
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:25:47
Felicia Devine
Kind of. And those are like the options. You could go natural, medication, surgical. Okay. So I'm going over stuff or there's a fourth option in like the holistic world, which is like herbal remedies to start things along.
00:26:03
Felicia Devine
And homeopathy. Okay.
00:26:03
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:26:05
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:26:06
Felicia Devine
So I talk with my homeopathist. Oh my God.
00:26:09
Felicia Devine
I am literally getting myself all twisted. I talk to my homeopath.
00:26:09
Natalie Richards
Homeopath.
00:26:14
Natalie Richards
It's okay. We have a lot of things to talk about.
00:26:17
Felicia Devine
I have a lot of big words in my head right now because I'm like trying to process. Okay. I talked homeopath and I'm like, these are the things that are happening. So she's like, I'll be right there. She brings over different remedies that are pre-blended for me.
00:26:29
Felicia Devine
And she brings over some bone broth and some tea. Like she was like so helpful. And she's like, start taking this. This is to support the uterus and this process and like your emotions. And like, there was a lot going on.
00:26:29
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:26:41
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:42
Felicia Devine
And then my midwife was like, Let's because I had chosen to go natural. Right. So my midwife was like, if things don't progress how you want to see them progress, we can always revisit the herbal stuff.
00:26:48
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:26:55
Natalie Richards
Right. And that's, I think, what we had talked about too, where it's like, you can always move on to different levels of care.
00:26:55
Felicia Devine
But let's just wait and see.
00:26:58
Felicia Devine
hmm. you can always ramp up your your like choices.
00:27:05
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:27:06
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:27:11
Felicia Devine
And my midwife was like, it could take up to two weeks.
00:27:15
Natalie Richards
Yep. And that's the, that's why I think what a lot of people aren't ready to accept is like, oh, you don't want to have that unknown.
00:27:15
Felicia Devine
And I was like, I don't know.
00:27:20
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:27:23
Natalie Richards
And I totally understand why people would choose a more medicalized option just to be done with it. I totally get that.
00:27:29
Felicia Devine
yeah And coming from a point of being in it I would have always like from the outside looking in been like, yeah, go natural. Why would you ever ramp up the options?
00:27:40
Felicia Devine
Like just go natural. Your body knows what to do. But when you're sitting in it and you're carrying around a pregnancy that you know isn't there, it's so weird.
00:27:45
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:27:48
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. It's yucky. Yeah.
00:27:50
Felicia Devine
It's so weird. And I also was like super traumatized by the fact that like I could go anywhere.
00:27:52
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:27:56
Felicia Devine
Like I go to the grocery store. go to like a track. We went to a track meet. I go to work.
00:28:01
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:28:01
Felicia Devine
And I'm like, it could start anywhere.
00:28:04
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:28:05
Felicia Devine
You just don't know. And like, I guess that's kind of like labor, but labor is a lot less scary in my opinion.
00:28:09
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:28:12
Felicia Devine
don't know. You're not going to just start bleeding. Like you're going to have like your water break and it's like, oh, she's having a baby.
00:28:15
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:28:19
Felicia Devine
Like you're not at the grocery store and you just start bleeding through your pants. Like that is so different.
00:28:22
Natalie Richards
Totally.
00:28:23
Felicia Devine
So I just was like kind of sitting on my hands being like, oh, I'm just like really uncomfortable about... not knowing, but I have to continue living life. And like, I know these are my choices.
00:28:33
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:28:34
Felicia Devine
And like, I just felt more comfortable going naturally, even though it was like emotionally a little bit like harder.
00:28:40
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:28:41
Felicia Devine
So I go through the weekend. And like I said, like we went to a track meet. We like went out to dinner. Like we did these things because I was like, I cannot just sit at home and wait.
00:28:51
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:28:51
Felicia Devine
What life is that? Like, because if it did take two weeks, I'm like, I'm not going to just sit at home for two weeks and not leave my house.
00:28:52
Natalie Richards
I know.
00:28:58
Natalie Richards
Totally.
00:28:58
Felicia Devine
And I have a toddler. Like we want to go do things. We want to like explore.
00:29:00
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:29:01
Felicia Devine
So
00:29:02
Natalie Richards
That's the hard part too about having an ultrasound and knowing that it's not progressing.
00:29:08
Felicia Devine
yeah.
00:29:09
Natalie Richards
Whereas like in a in any other situation, you kind of you wouldn't necessarily know. and yes, it would be traumatizing having
00:29:14
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:29:17
Natalie Richards
a miscarriage just start out of the blue, but knowing is hard to sit on that.
00:29:18
Felicia Devine
Right. Right. Like spontaneous. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:22
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:29:24
Felicia Devine
So it was really interesting. All of my spotting had stopped.
00:29:29
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:29:29
Felicia Devine
So I was just like living what I would perceive as like a normal life and going about so like on Monday, Monday rolled around and I was like, okay, I'll go see patients.
00:29:34
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:29:43
Natalie Richards
Wow. And you weren't having any like cramping or anything like that? That's crazy.
00:29:47
Felicia Devine
No. And I still had my belly at a very large belly for being nine weeks, which
00:29:50
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:29:52
Natalie Richards
We're being here. Mm-hmm.
00:29:57
Natalie Richards
We'll get into. Mm-hmm.
00:29:59
Felicia Devine
And Wednesday, i preemptively canceled my afternoon on Monday because I was like, I just want a little bit more time because I had Tuesday off and Wednesday off.
00:30:06
Natalie Richards
Okay.
00:30:10
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:30:10
Felicia Devine
And I was like, that will actually give me some time to just like let it happen if it does.
00:30:11
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:30:15
Felicia Devine
Like I was like, it's been, so Wednesday would have been a week.
00:30:16
Natalie Richards
Yep. To mentally, to mentally allow, like, allow yourself to say, okay, it's fine.
00:30:21
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Like I can relax at my house and like my body will release. So I'm like, okay, let's do that.
00:30:24
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:30:26
Felicia Devine
Let's take Wednesday off in the afternoon. i don't even think I had that heavy of a schedule anyway.
00:30:29
Natalie Richards
yeah
00:30:30
Felicia Devine
So i was like, let's just take it off so I could have Tuesday home, Wednesday home.
00:30:32
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:30:34
Felicia Devine
And Wednesday was a week. So I was like, I've been in this for seven days of like walking around with a pregnancy that's not a pregnancy anymore.
00:30:37
Natalie Richards
yeah Yeah.
00:30:41
Natalie Richards
Talking to people saying that everything is fine. Mm-hmm.
00:30:44
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah. so Wednesday hits and goes by. I was home Tuesday, Wednesday, and nothing happened. And i was like, darn, I feel really frustrated.
00:30:53
Natalie Richards
Okay.
00:30:55
Felicia Devine
So I go to work Wednesday or Thursday. So i have a full day of patience Thursday. I get it through the morning and I feel fine. And then don't know what was going on that Danny. So Dan goes home on Thursdays to feed the dog lunch and then he comes back. And there was something that I really needed from Dan. And I don't like honestly in this moment, I'm like not remembering what it was, but I was waiting for him to get back to work.
00:31:22
Felicia Devine
I was waiting for him. And I don't know if it was just to come talk to me.
00:31:24
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. And you were, yeah, you were there.
00:31:25
Felicia Devine
So I was at work and I was just walking the perimeter of our parking lot and our grass waiting for Dan. And i like I said, in this moment, I don't really know why I was waiting for Dan.
00:31:34
Natalie Richards
Interesting.
00:31:37
Felicia Devine
So I'm walking and i'm walking. I just like don't feel good. I'm like, ugh. I just like, I'm feeling kind of nauseous. I'm just like frustrated. know I have a big afternoon of patience.
00:31:47
Felicia Devine
I'm like, ugh, let's just get through the day.
00:31:48
Natalie Richards
Ugh.
00:31:49
Felicia Devine
It was a gorgeous sunny day.
00:31:51
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:31:52
Felicia Devine
walking around outside and Danny gets there and I'm like, just like, I don't know. i have like a big day. i don't know if he was bringing me like a drink, like a, a spin drift. Like i I can't recall, but I see him and i'm like, okay, I start patients.
00:32:02
Natalie Richards
Sure.
00:32:04
Felicia Devine
I think I started patients at two 15 or two 10. I start seeing people and i remember seeing my two 30 and it was this lovely older woman. And we've been, she's been a patient of mine for years.
00:32:21
Felicia Devine
I've known this family.
00:32:22
Natalie Richards
My dad, hold on. He's literally starting a machine right now.
00:32:27
Felicia Devine
I can't hear it.
00:32:27
Natalie Richards
Well, you can't. Okay, good.
00:32:30
Felicia Devine
No,
00:32:30
Natalie Richards
I'm sorry. Okay, keep going. If you can't hear it, then great.
00:32:34
Felicia Devine
I can't hear it.
00:32:35
Felicia Devine
oh I remember starting to to work on her and she's like, how's how's the pregnancy going? And I was like, to be honest with you.
00:32:35
Natalie Richards
Okay.
00:32:43
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:32:44
Felicia Devine
And like, she was like the first patient I told, was like, you know, this is happening. Like we're losing the baby. i'm having a miscarriage. And she was like, I'm so sorry. Like right now? And I was like, yeah, I think we're like right now.
00:32:56
Natalie Richards
Oh, you just knew.
00:32:57
Felicia Devine
She was like, I just knew. And like, I could, you know, how you can like kind of feel when your period starts.
00:32:59
Natalie Richards
Yeah. And you knew her. you were, yeah, you knew her so well and you were comfortable with her.
00:33:03
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:33:04
Natalie Richards
Oh. Yeah.
00:33:04
Felicia Devine
And she's like, Felicia. And I was like, I know. i'm like, I shouldn't like, i don't know what to do. Cause like it hasn't started, but it has started. Like I was like in this limbo.
00:33:12
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:33:15
Felicia Devine
And sure enough, she was the last patient I worked on because then I started working on the next patient and I look up at Dr. Taylor and she had a gap right then.
00:33:25
Felicia Devine
Like she had, she didn't have a patient at that moment.
00:33:27
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:33:28
Felicia Devine
And I go, Dr. Taylor, you need to work on this patient. Like I literally was like starting to adjust her.
00:33:31
Natalie Richards
Oh, my.
00:33:33
Felicia Devine
And I was like, you need to come see her. And like Taylor knew everything.
00:33:36
Natalie Richards
Oh, my. Yeah.
00:33:38
Felicia Devine
And so she was like, yep, gotcha.
00:33:39
Natalie Richards
What would be happening?
00:33:39
Felicia Devine
And her and I had seen this patient, like wishy-washy, like she worked on her prior.
00:33:40
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
00:33:45
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:33:46
Felicia Devine
So i go to the bathroom now because it's Thursday, Giuseppe's at work and I'm now in the bathroom.
00:33:52
Natalie Richards
Oh, yeah.
00:33:56
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:33:57
Felicia Devine
I yell out to Sarah, one of my girls at the front. And I'm like, can you bring me my phone? I think I said that somehow they got me my phone.
00:34:06
Natalie Richards
h
00:34:06
Felicia Devine
And at this point I'm like on the toilet and I'm starting to bleed heavily. And I'm like, they knew if I were to say like now, they would just cancel my day.
00:34:16
Natalie Richards
h
00:34:16
Felicia Devine
Like that was like predetermined.
00:34:17
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:34:18
Felicia Devine
I didn't have to explain to them what was happening.
00:34:18
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:34:22
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:34:22
Felicia Devine
They moved as many people over to Taylor as they could. They canceled people that needed to be canceled. And I called Dan and I said, you need to take me home right now. And that plan.
00:34:32
Natalie Richards
Ugh.
00:34:33
Felicia Devine
My plan was to like go home by myself. Like i was gonna drive myself home, but it was like intense.
00:34:36
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:34:41
Natalie Richards
You couldn't have.
00:34:42
Felicia Devine
I couldn't have driven myself because A, the cramping was really, really bad.
00:34:46
Felicia Devine
And B, I was bleeding very heavily.
00:34:46
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:34:49
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:34:50
Felicia Devine
Like really, yeah.
00:34:51
Natalie Richards
Like out of the blue, like just.
00:34:52
Felicia Devine
It was like, I didn't have anything and then I had a lot.
00:34:55
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:34:56
Felicia Devine
So I like kind of get myself situated to the point where I can like walk out of the bathroom and like tell Fran, like, hey, you need to start packing Sepi stuff. Like I need my computer packed up, get my purse, like my lunchbox.
00:35:05
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:08
Felicia Devine
Like I had stuff to like kind of compile.
00:35:11
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:35:12
Felicia Devine
So this patient walks out that Taylor had been working on. This patient walks out. She goes, oh, you weren't feeling well. And I was like, yeah, I'm just really not feeling well. And she goes, yeah, you don't look good.
00:35:24
Natalie Richards
Oh, boy. Don't we love to hear that?
00:35:25
Felicia Devine
i go, she goes, yeah, you really look like you don't feel good. I was like, yeah.
00:35:30
Natalie Richards
Thank you so much.
00:35:31
Felicia Devine
She goes, well, you know, that can happen when we're pregnant.
00:35:36
Natalie Richards
Oh, God.
00:35:37
Felicia Devine
And at this point, I'm like, well, unfortunately, you know, I'm having a miscarriage. And she looks at me and she's like, oh, I've had plenty of miscarriages.
00:35:47
Felicia Devine
I thought I was miscarrying. With this one, she goes on this story about all of her miscarriages, the ones that worked, the ones that she thought was miscarrying, but ended up being like her son.
00:35:50
Natalie Richards
Oh my.
00:35:57
Felicia Devine
And that I'm standing in the middle of the room and I can't move because if I move, blood's going start running down.
00:36:03
Natalie Richards
Blood's gonna...
00:36:03
Felicia Devine
like like
00:36:04
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:36:05
Felicia Devine
I'm frozen in space. I'm being trapped by stories.
00:36:07
Natalie Richards
Oh. Oh my.
00:36:09
Felicia Devine
And I was just like, I really need this to like end.
00:36:14
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:36:15
Felicia Devine
And I can't move until she walks away.
00:36:18
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:36:18
Felicia Devine
And I was just like, oh my gosh, I was like literally trapped. So eventually she turns to walk away after like a couple minutes of stories, like more minutes than I was comfortable standing there.
00:36:25
Natalie Richards
Oh, for sure.
00:36:28
Felicia Devine
So she walks away. I'm like, you girls need to grab all my stuff. I'm going back to the bathroom.
00:36:35
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:36:35
Felicia Devine
So I go back to the bathroom and the the bathroom is positioned on the side of the building where there's like a window and like out the window is like the side of the building that Dan's office is on too.
00:36:42
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:36:46
Felicia Devine
So I heard his door open, like his side door from his office open and close.
00:36:47
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:36:51
Felicia Devine
And I heard him sprinting up the rocks. to my office, like literally like cool like, and he like, he was like, what do we need to do?
00:36:55
Natalie Richards
Oh, Danny. Yes.
00:37:01
Felicia Devine
So he comes in the bathroom. He's like cleaning up. Sarah put an out of service sign on the bathroom.
00:37:04
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:37:05
Felicia Devine
It was like a crime scene.
00:37:07
Natalie Richards
and I can imagine.
00:37:08
Felicia Devine
They're packing up Giuseppe. Dan's like, what, how do we get you home? And I was like, we have to take one car. Like we can't take two cars because I can't drive.
00:37:14
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:37:16
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:37:17
Felicia Devine
And he's like, okay, so we take my car. Just because it was closer to my office.
00:37:21
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:37:22
Felicia Devine
Like we didn't have to go downstairs and get his. So we all jump in my car.
00:37:24
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:37:26
Felicia Devine
Dan throws Giuseppe in the car seat. Like we got situated, we're driving home. And at this point I'm like, Danny, I couldn't have driven. Like I was in significant discomfort.
00:37:35
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:37:36
Felicia Devine
And it wasn't like I was like screaming, but I was like, I couldn't really sit still.
00:37:39
Natalie Richards
No.
00:37:41
Felicia Devine
i was like writhing around in discomfort. And at this point I'm bleeding so heavily that it's gushing up my pants. like up and out of my pants and down my side.
00:37:54
Felicia Devine
Like it was so much blood. So Dan's reaching into the back seat.
00:37:56
Natalie Richards
Oh, horrific.
00:37:58
Felicia Devine
He's grabbing maxi pads, ripping the backing off, and I'm shoving them down my pants to try and absorb the blood that's gushing out.
00:38:05
Felicia Devine
Cause like it was an unfathomable amount.
00:38:05
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:38:09
Natalie Richards
Yes. Yes.
00:38:09
Felicia Devine
Now I'm going to pause the current story to mention that a couple days earlier, Dan and I had looked up what to expect. I was kind of like avoiding it.
00:38:19
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:38:21
Felicia Devine
And so it was only a couple days prior that I looked up on like this like mommy blog, what it feels like and looks like to miscarry at nine weeks.
00:38:21
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:38:27
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:38:30
Natalie Richards
Okay.
00:38:30
Felicia Devine
Because I was like kind of avoiding it because I didn't want to know.
00:38:31
Natalie Richards
Which is good.
00:38:34
Felicia Devine
But then I also was like, I should know what to expect.
00:38:34
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:38:37
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:38
Felicia Devine
And so I was reading a bunch of like personal stories of like what it felt like, what it looked like, how long it lasted,
00:38:46
Felicia Devine
the emotions behind it, like what to like gauge my perception on what is normal.
00:38:46
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:38:52
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:38:54
Felicia Devine
Now, a lot of what my midwife also told me really like solidified those personal stories too. So it was like, you're going to have heavy bleeding for three to five hours.
00:39:15
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:39:16
Felicia Devine
So there were very varied stories. But they kind of all coincided with like what I was currently experiencing.
00:39:20
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:39:24
Felicia Devine
And so I was like, okay, this is normal. Like I'm passing a lot of blood, but like I'm also miscarrying.
00:39:27
Natalie Richards
This could be normal. Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:30
Felicia Devine
So like this is normal.
00:39:31
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:39:31
Felicia Devine
And then I started passing clots and I was like, okay, this is normal. And I was constantly sending my midwife videos and pictures of what was happening, like contents and stuff.
00:39:43
Felicia Devine
And she was like, okay, keep an eye on your vitals, da, da, da, like take your blood pressure, make sure that looks good. Cause it was like, a lot of blood. And when I say a lot of blood, like I was like destroying bathrooms in our house.
00:39:54
Felicia Devine
Like there were blood there was blood on floors and it was like a lot.
00:39:54
Natalie Richards
yeah i yeah
00:39:58
Felicia Devine
So she was like, take your vitals, make sure everything looks good. Cause that's a lot of blood. And i was like, okay. So my blood pressure was really good. My pulse was really good. I felt okay.
00:40:09
Felicia Devine
All things considered, like I didn't feel any bit of like faint or dizzy or shaky.
00:40:09
Natalie Richards
Sure. Considering, yeah.
00:40:15
Felicia Devine
Like I didn't have any weird symptoms. So i text my sister-in-law because at this point it had been a couple hours and I had showered and gotten in bed and was just like watching TV. And like, I was running out of supplies.
00:40:29
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Well, and because the bleeding didn't really stop and it had been a few hours, like, and it was continuing the same way that it was.
00:40:33
Felicia Devine
No.
00:40:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah. It was like five o'clock at this point. So I started bleeding at two 30.
00:40:38
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:40:39
Felicia Devine
It was like rolling around to five o'clock and my husband kind of was like,
00:40:40
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:40:45
Felicia Devine
running a little frantic because he had to take care of me, but he also had to like get Giuseppe dinner and, and be bathed and get ready for bedtime.
00:40:51
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:40:53
Felicia Devine
So he called his parents and was like, I need you to come over and help. Cause this is like, he's taking care of two people.
00:40:57
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:41:00
Felicia Devine
And I call my sister-in-law who lives next door. And I'm like, Hey, do you have any like extra pads or diapers or anything? Cause like, I'm like quickly like running out of supplies and Dan doesn't have the capacity to go anywhere.
00:41:06
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:41:10
Natalie Richards
Oof. To go. No, he can't.
00:41:12
Felicia Devine
So she's like, I'll be right over. So she came and sat with me and we just talked and I was like still sitting up in bed and I was yapping and I was like, yeah, this is just like so interesting.
00:41:18
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:41:23
Felicia Devine
And I was like telling her like what was happening and it was just like normal.
00:41:30
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:41:30
Felicia Devine
Like I was like,
00:41:31
Natalie Richards
You were still feeling, considering considering, okay.
00:41:34
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:41:34
Natalie Richards
You were considering all things.
00:41:35
Felicia Devine
I'm yeah.
00:41:36
Felicia Devine
Yeah. I'm actually getting nauseous telling this story. This is fascinating. I like, don't feel good right now.
00:41:36
Natalie Richards
You were, oh God.
00:41:39
Natalie Richards
Oh, you're like having a reaction.
00:41:41
Felicia Devine
So yeah.
00:41:43
Natalie Richards
Oh boy.
00:41:45
Felicia Devine
So I'm feeling good. And she brings over all that stuff. And then she's like, she's like, my family's coming into town right now. So I'm going to go home. They ordered dinner. They're like, do you guys want anything?
00:41:54
Felicia Devine
And we're like, yeah, like order us dinner. Cause we don't have time to make it. And like, yeah, like drop it off, whatever.
00:41:59
Natalie Richards
Yeah, that'd be great. Mm-hmm.
00:42:02
Felicia Devine
So she goes home and it's now 7.30, 7.45 and Giuseppe had just fallen asleep. So Dan's parents were here. bar put him, Giuseppe to bed and they're like, well, we'll take off.
00:42:15
Felicia Devine
And Dan's like, okay. So Dan comes and sits in our bedroom, like where I'm sitting right now. I'm in the bed that's next to us.
00:42:20
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:42:21
Felicia Devine
And we're chatting. And I'm like, Danny, it is like pretty crazy what's happening. and he's like, yeah. And I was like, no, it's like, still so heavy because he had been running around that he didn't really he wasn't realizing like the drastic amount of blood I was actually losing and I was like no no no it's like a lot and he was like okay so I go to get out of the bed because I'm like it had been 20 to 30 minutes like I was soaking through diapers and maxi pads in 20 to 30 minutes like and when I say soaking through I mean like like yeah like
00:42:30
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. He wasn't really realizing.
00:42:41
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:42:51
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:42:53
Natalie Richards
Soaking. Like, you showed me pictures. It was, like, fully saturated.
00:42:57
Felicia Devine
Like the pad was like expanded in all directions, like thoroughly soaked through.
00:43:01
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:43:03
Felicia Devine
So I go to sit up and stand up and I had a blanket or like a wash towel under me in the bed, just in case I leaked. And I go to stand up and I felt like a, like a big clot, like erupt out of me.
00:43:17
Felicia Devine
And that wasn't the first one. Like I'd been having like big, like lime and lemon sized clots coming out of me all afternoon.
00:43:19
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:43:23
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:43:24
Natalie Richards
Lime and lemon.
00:43:26
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:43:26
Natalie Richards
Literally like the size of the palm of your hand.
00:43:28
Felicia Devine
Yeah, the size of palm your hand. No, this one felt like I had just passed something the size of like a salad bowl.
00:43:35
Natalie Richards
Like a placenta.
00:43:36
Felicia Devine
Yeah, it felt very, very large.
00:43:37
Natalie Richards
Like a fully grown placenta. Mm-hmm.
00:43:40
Felicia Devine
And I was like, Danny. And he was like, what? I was like, you need to drag the towel under me. Cause I was on carpet until we get to my bathroom.
00:43:47
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:43:47
Felicia Devine
So Dan and I are like trying to get to the bathroom and I i pull everything down.
00:43:51
Natalie Richards
Oh, my God. Oh.
00:43:54
Felicia Devine
It's flying everywhere. I mean, there's blood up the walls. There's blood. i mean, it was like, whatever, down my legs.
00:43:59
Natalie Richards
So bad.
00:44:01
Felicia Devine
And this massive clock came at me and I'm sitting on the toilet and i go, Danny, I don't feel good. And I go, I'm actually getting faint right now, Natalie.
00:44:12
Natalie Richards
Are you, you're like having the so the same situation?
00:44:13
Felicia Devine
I'm getting like, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Okay.
00:44:17
Natalie Richards
oh God.
00:44:17
Felicia Devine
So I'm like, Danny, I really don't feel good. And he's like, well, you haven't eaten. It's now 745. Like you don't have any food in you. Like I was like, I know I just like, haven't felt good.
00:44:27
Felicia Devine
He, I had a pair at like 430.
00:44:29
Natalie Richards
it Sure. Oh, no.
00:44:32
Felicia Devine
and he's like, he's like, let me go get you some lemonade. And I'm like, okay. So he runs downstairs, get me lemonade. By the time he gets back to me, I'm on the floor.
00:44:43
Natalie Richards
Oh, no.
00:44:44
Felicia Devine
I'm bleeding everywhere because I'm naked.
00:44:46
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:44:46
Felicia Devine
My feet are on the toilet because I'm so unwell. Like I'm like in and out of consciousness.
00:44:51
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:44:53
Felicia Devine
Like, I don't think I actually fainted because I still have memory of all these things, but I'm not, I'm like not well.
00:44:57
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah. You were not okay.
00:45:00
Felicia Devine
Like I was fine. And then I was really unwell.
00:45:02
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh,
00:45:04
Felicia Devine
And he gets back to me. I'm like laying on the ground, like not well.
00:45:09
Natalie Richards
my God.
00:45:09
Felicia Devine
And he's like, drink some lemonade. So I'm like trying to drink this lemonade. I'm like, you have to call the midwife. And he was like, okay. So he calls Allie and Allie's like, what are your symptoms? And I was like, Danny, get the blood pressure cuff.
00:45:19
Felicia Devine
So he goes and gets it. He's taking my blood pressure. So I had been laying on the ground for a couple of minutes by then with my feet elevated, completely horizontal.
00:45:26
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:45:26
Felicia Devine
At that time, he took my blood pressure. It was 90 over 66. And I was like, upside down. So it was like the best it was gonna be.
00:45:36
Natalie Richards
Oh my, yeah.
00:45:38
Felicia Devine
And she goes, you need to go to the hospital immediately.
00:45:40
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah,
00:45:41
Felicia Devine
And Dan and I look at each other and we're like, I think that's when we realized how serious it was that this was like getting not not better.
00:45:45
Natalie Richards
thought this was like really not a normal situation. Mm-hmm.
00:45:49
Felicia Devine
And she's like, you need to either call EMS or be out of your house in the next few minutes. And I was like, well, my brother lives next door.
00:45:54
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:45:56
Felicia Devine
He can be here in an instant.
00:45:58
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. Thank God.
00:46:01
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Or else I would have had to call the ambulance and go by myself.
00:46:03
Natalie Richards
Or you would have had to, yeah.
00:46:06
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:46:07
Felicia Devine
Because we can't leave the baby.
00:46:07
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:46:08
Felicia Devine
So my brother runs next door.
00:46:08
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:46:10
Felicia Devine
I mean, he was, but he was here within three minutes and he's like, what do you need?
00:46:13
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:46:21
Natalie Richards
Naked. Yeah.
00:46:23
Felicia Devine
And Dan is running around and we're trying to game plan. And they finally, I'm like crawling at this point.
00:46:29
Natalie Richards
You're like half unconscious.
00:46:31
Felicia Devine
Yeah, I'm crawling because I can't even stand up.
00:46:31
Natalie Richards
Oh my God.
00:46:33
Felicia Devine
So I'm crawling until I get to the staircase. I stand up, I get down. They're like hand in hand walking me to the I'm like giving Shay directions on like, hey, if Seppi wakes up, like try and give him milk.
00:46:39
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:46:45
Felicia Devine
He sleeps within night, but like he might not.
00:46:45
Natalie Richards
Right. o
00:46:46
Felicia Devine
And if he doesn't, like don't be a hero, like put Paw Patrol on.
00:46:50
Felicia Devine
I don't care. Like he should be fine.
00:46:50
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:46:51
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Whatever.
00:46:53
Felicia Devine
So turns out my brother like had his wife like bring over like a toothbrush and like get him like pajamas and stuff like that because he ended up staying the night.
00:46:58
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:47:02
Felicia Devine
But they put me in the car and Dan takes me to the yeah ER. And so I'm like, okay, seated in the car, but I had just put on a new diaper and it was already like gushing and clots coming out of me.
00:47:17
Natalie Richards
who
00:47:18
Felicia Devine
And it's about like a seven minute drive to the hospital.
00:47:19
Natalie Richards
Oh my God.
00:47:23
Felicia Devine
So it's not far.
00:47:23
Natalie Richards
Sure. So no, but long enough.
00:47:27
Felicia Devine
So they get me to the hospital, or Danny gets me in the hospital.
00:47:27
Natalie Richards
hu
00:47:32
Felicia Devine
He gets a wheelchair. He literally wheels me into the front door and he was like, help.
00:47:37
Natalie Richards
Right. Like somebody please.
00:47:38
Felicia Devine
So a security guard takes me and like wheels me to the front and Dan like drives the car. He's like rushing.
00:47:44
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:47:44
Felicia Devine
Like he's like, he's like driving the car to the parking garage.
00:47:45
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:47:49
Felicia Devine
And like running back and I'm checking in and they're literally checking me in like a normal person. Like they're like, okay, so like what's going on? And I told them them and I was like, I'm like rushing blood and it's been going on since 2.30.
00:48:01
Natalie Richards
Literally bleeding out.
00:48:04
Felicia Devine
Like, okay, I'm going to take you over to verify like your address and your insurance and verify your information. Okay. So they wheel me over.
00:48:11
Natalie Richards
Oh my god.
00:48:12
Felicia Devine
I'm like sitting on this wheelchair, like barely able to sit up. Right.
00:48:15
Natalie Richards
Oh my gosh.
00:48:16
Felicia Devine
Okay. We verified your stuff. Okay. Go to this vital station. They're like taking my blood pressure. And the lady's like, at this point it was like still 90 over 60.
00:48:24
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:48:26
Felicia Devine
she's like, her eyes are like really big. and And like, they're all just like, yeah, they're all just like looking at each other.
00:48:30
Natalie Richards
Because she can't believe you're sitting upright.
00:48:34
Felicia Devine
And like Dan at this point gets there. So then he wheels me to, I don't even know what this is. I don't think this is called, maybe it's ER r triage.
00:48:42
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:48:42
Felicia Devine
It's like a little like box, like cubicle. And this girl's like, okay, I'm here to take your information about like what's going on. And like, oh, when did you find this out? And dah, dah, dah. Okay, now we're going take some blood.
00:48:52
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:48:54
Felicia Devine
You're going to take blood?
00:48:55
Natalie Richards
Are you serious?
00:48:56
Felicia Devine
They took blood, Natalie. Okay.
00:48:58
Natalie Richards
i mean, I'm not surprised, but whatever.
00:48:59
Felicia Devine
they took They took my blood. They drew more blood. I was like, I don't have a lot of blood to draw.
00:49:04
Natalie Richards
and don't have a lot to spare.
00:49:06
Felicia Devine
Yeah. So they draw my blood and she's like, okay, you can go wait in the waiting room. We'll call you back when we have availability.
00:49:13
Natalie Richards
I'm not surprised. I'm really like with our current ER r situation, i am not. If you don't have a gunshot wound to the head, you're not getting in to the head.
00:49:21
Felicia Devine
To the head. i know.
00:49:23
Felicia Devine
I should have gone in their pantless because I was like, that would have, like, if they could see what was going on,
00:49:23
Natalie Richards
Literally.
00:49:25
Natalie Richards
Literally, they would have seen. Right.
00:49:29
Felicia Devine
what was happening. So Dan starts to wheel me away. And he's like, where do you want me to take you? Cause like, I didn't want to sit with sick people.
00:49:38
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:49:39
Felicia Devine
I was like, take me to that corner.
00:49:41
Natalie Richards
right
00:49:41
Felicia Devine
He starts wheeling me. And I'm like, Danny. And I just lights out, pass out.
00:49:46
Natalie Richards
Passed out. Oh, no.
00:49:48
Felicia Devine
I'm unconscious. Dan's holding my face. He's Felicia, Felicia, Felicia, wake up.
00:49:53
Natalie Richards
oh Oh, my word.
00:49:54
Felicia Devine
He's shaking, Felicia. And I'm like, I'm like starting to come to know. And he's like running me back in the wheelchair to the lady. And he's like, she's unconscious.
00:50:03
Natalie Richards
Oh, my gosh.
00:50:04
Felicia Devine
So she takes me, she takes my wheelchair, the triage lady.
00:50:04
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:50:08
Felicia Devine
And they start wheeling me. They take me right back. They start stripping me naked.
00:50:10
Natalie Richards
Wow. Mm-hmm.
00:50:13
Felicia Devine
They were treating me like an actual emergency. Thank God.
00:50:16
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. No kidding.
00:50:16
Felicia Devine
My body was like, you're not going to take me back.
00:50:18
Natalie Richards
Because it was at that point. Literally.
00:50:20
Felicia Devine
No, I think I was like, you know, I think I was like, you have to go wait.
00:50:21
Natalie Richards
I'll show you.
00:50:25
Felicia Devine
I think I knew it wasn't going to
00:50:27
Natalie Richards
Yeah, it wasn't good.
00:50:30
Felicia Devine
yeah, I'm being stripped of all my things.
00:50:33
Natalie Richards
Jeepers.
00:50:34
Felicia Devine
I get two IVs. They're like doing all these things. They're like taking all my vitals. The yeah ER doctor comes. I mean, it was like very hectic.
00:50:42
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:50:43
Felicia Devine
I was like, you were green.
00:50:45
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:50:46
Felicia Devine
I was so unwell. So they're like, what's going on? And I tell them and they're like, okay. And I was like, yeah, I feel like I've lost a gallon of blood. And the guy kind of chuckles at me and he's like,
00:50:56
Natalie Richards
It was probably more than a gallon.
00:50:58
Felicia Devine
He goes, no, there's no way you could have lost a gallon of blood. You're only given like a couple of gallons. Like, you know, yeah that that can't be possible. I'm like, okay, I literally am not dumb.
00:51:10
Felicia Devine
But the amount of contents that was leaving my body hours since 230, and it's now like 30.
00:51:13
Natalie Richards
Yeah. for hours
00:51:18
Felicia Devine
And so they're like, well, we have to do a manual exam, da, da, da. Oh, wow, that's a lot of blood. I'm like, yeah, I told you that. So then they were like, well, we'll call OB in. And I'm like, okay, I guess you can call OB in.
00:51:31
Felicia Devine
And they call OB in. So then OB comes and they're like, oh, I'm this person. i have to check your bleeding. okay, how many people have to check that I'm bleeding?
00:51:40
Natalie Richards
Holy hell.
00:51:42
Felicia Devine
I'm bleeding heavily. Then I'm like, I really don't want a resident performing any of these like next steps.
00:51:44
Natalie Richards
Right, right.
00:51:50
Felicia Devine
Like I have a lot of trauma in my past. I had a resident stitch me up the first time and it went really poorly and I didn't advocate for myself. So like I'm advocating for myself in this moment.
00:52:01
Natalie Richards
Good.
00:52:01
Felicia Devine
being And then she looks at me, she's like, well, I'm the resident. And I was like, you should have led with that. deceived because literally was like, when everybody leaves the room, can I talk to you for a moment privately?
00:52:09
Natalie Richards
you
00:52:14
Felicia Devine
And then I explained all this stuff to her and she waited for me to finish.
00:52:16
Natalie Richards
All of it.
00:52:17
Felicia Devine
And then she was like, I'm the resident. And I was like, oh, embarrassing.
00:52:20
Natalie Richards
Oh, well, whatever.
00:52:21
Felicia Devine
So she's like, I'll let the attending know. And I said, thanks.
00:52:25
Natalie Richards
Good.
00:52:25
Felicia Devine
So the attending comes in. Meanwhile, I found this really disheartening. I could hear the two resident girls giggling and laughing outside my room multiple times during the situation.
00:52:36
Natalie Richards
Ugh.
00:52:38
Felicia Devine
Not exaggerating.
00:52:38
Natalie Richards
Are you serious?
00:52:40
Felicia Devine
And I, after this was all said and done, I went for my post check a week later.
00:52:45
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:52:46
Felicia Devine
I told the attending. I said, i don't, I don't think that was appropriate.
00:52:48
Natalie Richards
Good.
00:52:49
Felicia Devine
I don't think those girls were suited to care for me in that moment. They were giggling, they were laughing.
00:52:56
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:52:56
Felicia Devine
They were, at one point, one of them had to apologize to Dan and i in the moment because she was so rude to us.
00:53:01
Natalie Richards
Really?
00:53:04
Natalie Richards
What?
00:53:05
Felicia Devine
Yeah, it was bad. So we explain our story. We're like, we're having a miscarriage. I've been bleeding heavily for this long. She's like, well, the next step is a DNC. And like, that is what we're recommending.
00:53:16
Felicia Devine
And Dan and I are like, absolutely. Like, we totally agree.
00:53:18
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:53:19
Felicia Devine
Like if this bleeding isn't stopping, then like clearly something's wrong.
00:53:19
Natalie Richards
Right. Then, yeah, clearly.
00:53:23
Felicia Devine
We're like, we're agreeing. And she's like, well, we're just taking your midwife's word for it. We have to just take the word of your midwife. We're taking your midwife's word and yelling at us. And Dan and I are like, what are they taking?
00:53:33
Natalie Richards
What?
00:53:35
Felicia Devine
Cause it my midwife pulled ahead and said, my patient is coming in.
00:53:35
Natalie Richards
Word for what? Okay.
00:53:39
Felicia Devine
She had a miscarriage. It was diagnosed on ultrasound. da da da but
00:53:42
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:43
Felicia Devine
So she's saying, we're just taking your midwife's word for it. And we're like, what is she taking the word of?
00:53:47
Natalie Richards
What do you mean that they weren't going to do a confirmatory ultrasound?
00:53:48
Felicia Devine
Well,
00:53:51
Natalie Richards
Is that what she was talking about?
00:53:51
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Basically, like, because you're coming in with an already done ultrasound, but we haven't seen it, we're taking your midwife's word that there's no viable baby.
00:54:00
Natalie Richards
They don't believe you. Okay.
00:54:02
Felicia Devine
And if you sign this form, like we're taking everyone's word for it. Like if we go in there, you can't like not like once we go in and evacuate content, if there's a viable baby, like we're in trouble.
00:54:09
Natalie Richards
Okay.
00:54:12
Natalie Richards
Sure. see. Okay.
00:54:15
Felicia Devine
And so she was like, we're taking her word for You have sign here. We're taking her word for it. And eventual she came back in the room and was like, I'm very sorry for how that went down. Like, we'll bring in an ultrasound and confirm.
00:54:25
Felicia Devine
I'm like, yeah, like I'm laying here doing nothing.
00:54:28
Natalie Richards
Do whatever you need to do.
00:54:29
Felicia Devine
Come take an ultrasound.
00:54:29
Natalie Richards
This is the ER. r
00:54:30
Felicia Devine
Yeah. I'm like, you have all the tools and I have nowhere to go.
00:54:35
Natalie Richards
What? This is so weird.
00:54:35
Felicia Devine
yeah It was really weird. So eventually she comes in an ultrasound.
00:54:39
Natalie Richards
They just don't like midwives. They don't like anything that has to do with an external whatever.
00:54:42
Felicia Devine
Yes, no. And they're like, we're taking her word for it.
00:54:47
Natalie Richards
Anyway.
00:54:47
Felicia Devine
I was like, I have like, like, it wasn't like my midwife did like bedside.
00:54:50
Natalie Richards
We went to an MFM. Okay.
00:54:52
Felicia Devine
Yeah. I was like, I went to the MFM and like saw a doctor and like everybody confirmed it. My poor midwife was caught in the crosshairs of this.
00:55:00
Natalie Richards
Go talk to the MFM.
00:55:01
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
Hospital Chaos and Critical Procedures
00:55:03
Felicia Devine
So they're like, okay, we'll come and we'll do a confirmatory ultrasound. So they did.
00:55:08
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:55:08
Felicia Devine
And they're like, yeah, like you need a DNC. And I was like, I know.
00:55:11
Felicia Devine
Okay, let's move this along. Well, apparently at night in the ER, they only open one OR and only have one OR team. Okay. And they're like, well, we just took back an orthopedic case.
00:55:12
Natalie Richards
Okay, thank you.
00:55:27
Natalie Richards
Oh my, in the middle of the night.
00:55:29
Felicia Devine
Yeah, it was 10 o'clock.
00:55:31
Natalie Richards
Interesting.
00:55:31
Felicia Devine
They're like, we just took back an orthopedic case. What?
00:55:36
Natalie Richards
Oh my.
00:55:36
Felicia Devine
So my OB, that was amazing. Thank God it was him.
00:55:41
Natalie Richards
Good.
00:55:42
Felicia Devine
This guy came in like the attending who i ended up loving because he was so on top of it. He was so empathetic.
00:55:48
Natalie Richards
Great.
00:55:48
Felicia Devine
He was so, this is a big deal, which everyone else seemed to be like, like like lethargic about it.
00:55:52
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:55:55
Natalie Richards
And it wasn't a big deal because they're in an er r
00:55:58
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And I'm like, Like my vitals are stable, but they're also pumping me full of fluid right now.
00:56:05
Natalie Richards
Fuck, no kidding.
00:56:05
Felicia Devine
But I'm still bleeding like extreme. I was ruining Chuck's pads.
00:56:09
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:56:10
Felicia Devine
and And they're pulling cloths out of me, like in the ER.
00:56:13
Natalie Richards
Yes, yes, yes.
00:56:14
Felicia Devine
code So my attending OB was like, this is a big deal. And he told me this after the fact, but I didn't know this at the time. He was going around like yelling at people in the ER, being like, if this was a gunshot wound, what would you do?
00:56:27
Natalie Richards
To like, no kidding.
00:56:29
Felicia Devine
And they're like, we would open another OR.
00:56:31
Felicia Devine
He's like, then do it.
00:56:32
Natalie Richards
No kidding.
00:56:33
Felicia Devine
So-
00:56:33
Natalie Richards
Because this is life or death.
00:56:34
Natalie Richards
It is at that point.
00:56:36
Felicia Devine
And I was very unwell.
00:56:36
Natalie Richards
Literally. Yeah.
00:56:37
Felicia Devine
And so apparently they called in an an emergency team. Like they brought in another team for me.
00:56:43
Natalie Richards
Wow. Wow.
00:56:45
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And they opened another OR.
00:56:46
Natalie Richards
As they should.
00:56:47
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Mind you, it still took a while.
00:56:50
Natalie Richards
Sure.
00:56:50
Felicia Devine
So meanwhile, I'm signing all this paperwork that says I'll get a blood transfusion.
00:56:56
Natalie Richards
Okay.
00:56:57
Felicia Devine
signing paperwork for this medication and it's like this life-saving medication for like bleeding so they give it to you if you get like a gunshot wound or you have internal bleeding that's undiagnosed or hemorrhaging whatever so I'm like signing paperwork for that and they're like yeah like the risks of a blood transfusion are like AIDS or hep B like are you cool with that
00:57:03
Natalie Richards
hu
00:57:07
Natalie Richards
Sure. Sure.
00:57:16
Natalie Richards
Yeah, and any other thing that that person has in their blood. Amazing.
00:57:19
Felicia Devine
literally I was like
00:57:19
Natalie Richards
Great. Thank you.
00:57:20
Felicia Devine
Okay. And they're like, we triple check.
00:57:21
Natalie Richards
What do you do at that point?
00:57:23
Felicia Devine
No, I know. And I was like, there isn't an option to not get it. And they're like, yeah, well like you need it.
00:57:27
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:57:29
Felicia Devine
And I was like, okay, then like bring it to me right now. like
00:57:33
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:57:33
Felicia Devine
Everything was like kind of like taken a lot longer than it needed to be.
00:57:38
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:57:39
Felicia Devine
one point they're like ordering all this stuff they're like here you need to do this and I I'm like Dan yeah I'm like tanking again like at one point I was like stable and then I started tanking again and I was like I was like pushing my button and Dan's like are you I'm like nope this is the yeah like I literally was like this is it this is it I was like not feeling well he was like you went green again like he didn't in a moment but like I started to tank really badly and I was fully laying horizontal and I was like
00:57:46
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:57:50
Natalie Richards
Oh, boy.
00:58:03
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:58:06
Natalie Richards
Oh my.
00:58:08
Felicia Devine
not good.
00:58:10
Natalie Richards
Oh
00:58:10
Felicia Devine
So they come in and they're like, all right, let's get you to the, the OR now. They like rush in. They're like, okay, let's go. So they're like talking on the radios. They're like, where's this medication going? Where's the blood? Like, I sent it to the OR. No, I sent it to the ER. Like they couldn't figure, they couldn't find where my medicine was.
00:58:27
Natalie Richards
my God.
00:58:28
Felicia Devine
Dan was like, are they serious? Like, they don't know where it went. Like order it again.
00:58:33
Natalie Richards
Oh my
00:58:36
Felicia Devine
And I'm looking at my surgeon and I'm like, I'm going to die. And he's like, no, no, no, you're fine. I'm like, no, I'm dying. I'm currently dying.
00:58:42
Natalie Richards
God. You felt like you were going.
00:58:43
Felicia Devine
Yes.
00:58:44
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:58:44
Felicia Devine
And I it was like, I feel like I'm going to poop myself. And he was like, no, that's just the pressure. I'm like, no, no, no. Like I'm dying. Like, that's what happens when you die. You poop yourself. Like, I was like, I was like, I'm like, not well.
00:58:52
Natalie Richards
Oh my gosh. You were fully convinced you were nearly dead.
00:58:55
Felicia Devine
i'm like not well
00:58:56
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:58:57
Felicia Devine
Yeah. So they get me to the ER or the OR and like my, so my team comes up to me and they're like asking me questions again. I'm like, I already signed that paper. Like, I'm literally like, they're like, okay, so do you consent to having a blood transfusion?
00:59:09
Felicia Devine
I was like, I signed two of those back in the ER.
00:59:11
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:59:12
Felicia Devine
Stop asking. Then they're like, oh, we see that you're wearing like jewelry. Do you think you could take that off for us?
00:59:21
Natalie Richards
I don't think they really understood.
00:59:23
Felicia Devine
Lady, I've been in the yeah ER for three hours. Why couldn't you take this off my fingers and my earrings out and my necklace off when I was in the ER?
00:59:26
Natalie Richards
gosh.
00:59:31
Felicia Devine
r You're waiting for me
00:59:32
Natalie Richards
And again, what would they have done if you were, again, a gunshot wound?
00:59:36
Felicia Devine
Right. They would have taken it off for me.
00:59:39
Felicia Devine
Well, they put these massive gauge IVs in me. I couldn't even bend my arms.
00:59:39
Natalie Richards
Yes, they would have cut it off of you.
00:59:44
Natalie Richards
my.
00:59:45
Felicia Devine
So I'm like, I can't take them off. So like they're trying to like wiggle my rings off.
00:59:50
Natalie Richards
oh my
00:59:50
Felicia Devine
And eventually I just like bend my arms and I rip my rings off because I'm like, someone's got to do it. like Everyone's being so dainty. I'm like...
00:59:59
Natalie Richards
like
01:00:00
Felicia Devine
I'm like prevailing through like nearly dying and everyone's just like, oh, did you think you could do this for me? I'm like ripping my rings off and Dan's like standing there like, is this all happening?
01:00:11
Felicia Devine
Like Dan was kind of in a state of shock and he's like holding everything.
01:00:12
Natalie Richards
Oh, Danny. Yeah, I'm sure.
01:00:15
Felicia Devine
Cause like I'm naked. They had given him like all my stuff and he has like a backpack of things.
01:00:17
Natalie Richards
yeah Oh, my gosh.
01:00:22
Felicia Devine
And like, we're standing outside of the OR. r So Dan's like, are they letting me in the OR? Like no one had told Dan not to be there.
01:00:28
Natalie Richards
Where did he was just still there?
01:00:29
Felicia Devine
Dan's like, I'm just going to stand here until they like tell me not to be here.
01:00:30
Natalie Richards
He was just hanging.
01:00:33
Felicia Devine
And they were like, okay, dad, like you can leave now.
01:00:33
Natalie Richards
Totally.
01:00:37
Felicia Devine
do you have anything to say? And Dan felt so shocked and on the spot that he he literally looks at me.
01:00:39
Natalie Richards
Oh, goodness.
01:00:43
Felicia Devine
He's like, you got this girl.
01:00:49
Felicia Devine
He told me. i didn't I didn't know he said that. I was like, not with it.
01:00:52
Natalie Richards
oh my god my god
01:00:54
Felicia Devine
He told me this in hindsight. And he was like, I felt so embarrassed that I said that because...
01:00:57
Natalie Richards
oh my god that's all right god thank god you did
01:00:58
Felicia Devine
Like it wasn't very like romantic or like, he was like, you got this girl. They were probably like, are you married?
01:01:06
Natalie Richards
thank got you
01:01:09
Felicia Devine
So they wheeled me into the OR. And at this point they were like, I was under the guise that this procedure was going to be done under what's called max sedation.
01:01:21
Felicia Devine
And max sedation is twilight.
01:01:24
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:01:24
Felicia Devine
So you're not fully intubated and asleep where they have a like stabilized breath. Like they don't have a stabilized airway for you.
01:01:30
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:01:31
Felicia Devine
You're just like lightly sedated. And i'm like, okay. And they're like, yeah, like the other option, like it could be to you being intubated and like under general.
01:01:41
Natalie Richards
Totally. I'm
01:01:41
Felicia Devine
And like that is an option, but like the the procedure is meant to be done under the mass station.
01:01:45
Natalie Richards
going to try not to. Yeah.
01:01:46
Felicia Devine
Yeah. funny enough, my anesthesiologist was the same one I had when I had my surgery in October to get my repair.
01:01:53
Natalie Richards
For your, oh my goodness.
01:01:56
Felicia Devine
Yeah. So I remembered him.
01:01:58
Natalie Richards
Wow.
01:01:58
Felicia Devine
So they get me into the e the OR and those silly resident girls are still giggling and laughing and being so inappropriate.
01:02:08
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Like not matching the energy of.
01:02:08
Felicia Devine
I couldn't even believe it. Like they're in the corner like, oh yeah, I should have worn the Zipa putty today.
01:02:17
Natalie Richards
oh
01:02:18
Felicia Devine
And like, that's what I'm having to listen to when I'm like fighting for my life and also losing a pregnancy. Yeah.
01:02:24
Natalie Richards
Oh, yeah.
01:02:24
Felicia Devine
And that's what I told the the attending. I said, this was so inappropriate.
01:02:27
Felicia Devine
And he was like, honestly, thank you for telling me. Like, that must have been hard for you to experience.
01:02:27
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:02:30
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Good.
01:02:32
Felicia Devine
So they're like, i'm on the like wheelie bed that they wheeled me there in. And then they have to put me under the OR bed. And they're like, do you think you could like go on, move yourself to the other bed?
01:02:45
Natalie Richards
This is so interesting.
01:02:45
Felicia Devine
What? I'm like so like unwell, not with it. I again, can't bend my arms. Who doesn't understand that? They're the ones that did it to me. I'm like, no. And they're like, okay.
01:02:59
Felicia Devine
They're like, well, we're going to have to get a board and pull her onto the other bed. I'm like, yeah.
01:03:05
Natalie Richards
Oh, goodness.
01:03:05
Felicia Devine
So they roll me, get a board on me, pull me to the bed. Then they put you in that like crucifying position where they strap your arms down so they can do your IVs and your medications. They start putting boots on me.
01:03:17
Felicia Devine
Like they're doing the whole thing. I'm still awake at this point.
01:03:18
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:03:20
Felicia Devine
And the anesthesiologist comes over and I have a lady at my head, like a nurse. And she's like, it's okay me like oh what happened to your head?
01:03:25
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:03:27
Felicia Devine
I'm like, what do you mean what happened in my head?
01:03:29
Natalie Richards
My head.
01:03:30
Felicia Devine
I had those giant stitches in it. She's like, did you fall? I was like, no, like-
01:03:34
Natalie Richards
Oh my God. Oh, that's right. You had the the mole removal stitches still.
01:03:36
Felicia Devine
Like it's a mole. The mole is haunting me. So she's like, okay. So she's like petting my head and like soothing me. She's like, it's okay. Like you're going to be asleep soon. Like, don't worry. She puts the mask over me. She's like, take deep breaths. Well, I'm laying like with my arms out and My biggest fear going into it that was going to be that I was going to feel what they were doing because they were like, you're under like max sedation.
01:04:00
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:02
Felicia Devine
Like, but I was like, but am I going to remember it? Am I going to feel it And they're like, no no, no, no, no.
01:04:06
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:04:06
Felicia Devine
And I was like, you have to be so gentle, even though I'm asleep, please be so gentle. You have to be so gentle.
01:04:10
Natalie Richards
Sure.
01:04:10
Felicia Devine
I have so much trauma.
01:04:11
Natalie Richards
Sure, sure, sure.
01:04:12
Felicia Devine
Oh, be gentle.
01:04:13
Natalie Richards
Oh, God.
01:04:13
Felicia Devine
So I'm laying there and my hands are out and they're starting my IVs and I feel myself going into twilight. but I'm actively fighting it for some reason.
01:04:22
Natalie Richards
You weren't letting yourself. Yeah.
01:04:23
Felicia Devine
And I'm like flailing around on this table, wiggling my arms. I'm like telling them, like I'm still awake, I'm still awake. like Don't do anything yet, like I'm still awake. Well, sure enough, I go to sleep and I wake up.
Recovery Reflections and Emotional Aftermath
01:04:39
Felicia Devine
They knocked me out. they They intubated me.
01:04:42
Natalie Richards
Okay. Okay.
01:04:44
Felicia Devine
Now, I still don't know.
01:04:46
Natalie Richards
Oh my.
01:04:46
Felicia Devine
I still don't know the full reason. of why they did general and knocked me unconscious and intubated me because the surgeon was like, that's not my call.
01:04:52
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:58
Felicia Devine
That's the anesthesiologist.
01:04:59
Natalie Richards
It is. Yeah.
01:05:00
Felicia Devine
And I don't know if he was panicked that I was still like flopping around like a fish. now He's probably not panicked, but he was probably like, this is not going well.
01:05:05
Natalie Richards
Probably.
01:05:09
Natalie Richards
No.
01:05:09
Felicia Devine
So he knocked me out.
01:05:10
Natalie Richards
I don't know if I, yeah, I don't think that would have worked for me either.
01:05:13
Felicia Devine
I also don't know if that's based on like the severity of what was happening and like my vitals not being good that they were like, we need a stable airway.
01:05:17
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:23
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:05:23
Felicia Devine
So anyway, it was really a very traumatic surgery. They ended up doing, they didn't have to dilate me. i was four centimeters dilated. They didn't have to dilate me, which was nice, but they did have to do four passes to remove contents, which is like a lot of passes.
01:05:35
Natalie Richards
That is good.
01:05:39
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That is a lot.
01:05:42
Felicia Devine
And they removed like a lot of tissue.
01:05:45
Natalie Richards
A lot of clots, a lot of tissue. Mm-hmm.
01:05:46
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:05:48
Natalie Richards
Ooh.
01:05:49
Felicia Devine
I wake up.
01:05:50
Natalie Richards
That's a big recovery.
01:05:51
Felicia Devine
Yeah. So I wake up in recovery and I'm like, oh, my throat hurts so bad.
01:05:58
Natalie Richards
Well, you were intubated.
01:05:58
Felicia Devine
I was like, I was like, what happened to my throat?
01:06:00
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:06:01
Felicia Devine
And they're like, they had to intubate you. And I'm like, oh my God. So I'm like begging for ice chips and I'm like chewing on ice chips. cause my throat was just raging. And I was like, when can I see my husband?
01:06:10
Natalie Richards
Oh
01:06:12
Felicia Devine
And they're like, you have to wait an hour and wait to do blood work. So they just take more blood.
01:06:19
Natalie Richards
my God.
01:06:20
Felicia Devine
I'm like, quit taking my blood. yeah.
01:06:22
Natalie Richards
What?
01:06:23
Felicia Devine
And then after they do my hour blood work and send it for testing, when that comes back, then they can get Dan. Cause if it was like bad, I don't know what would happen.
01:06:31
Natalie Richards
Sure. Sure.
01:06:32
Felicia Devine
But anyway, they, they did my blood work, came back.
01:06:33
Natalie Richards
Sure.
01:06:35
Felicia Devine
My vitals were staying stable and Danny came back to see me. And he was just like, what happened? Like he was just like kind of left in the dark.
01:06:44
Natalie Richards
My gosh.
01:06:47
Felicia Devine
The surgeon came out was like, yeah, she like did as expected. Like, I got everything and like, she's in recovery.
01:06:53
Natalie Richards
Sure.
01:06:54
Felicia Devine
But Dan was like, yeah.
01:06:55
Natalie Richards
But he didn't know that you were like intubated and had like general anesthesia.
01:06:58
Felicia Devine
Well, I guess the surgeon had something, had said something to Dan about full sedation and intubation, but Dan didn't like even think to ask questions.
01:07:00
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:07:06
Felicia Devine
Like, cause Dan and I had so many questions, but no answers.
01:07:07
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:07:10
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:07:10
Felicia Devine
Like they checked us out of the hospital after like my vitals were stable for a while. And like we went home.
01:07:14
Natalie Richards
Oh my god Yeah. Like, what do we you do now?
01:07:17
Felicia Devine
So yeah.
01:07:18
Natalie Richards
How are you okay? How do you get blood? How do you get...
01:07:22
Felicia Devine
It was crazy. So we the got home at like 4 a.m.
01:07:23
Natalie Richards
Oh my gosh.
01:07:28
Natalie Richards
Wow.
01:07:28
Felicia Devine
and we walk in and like my brother's like rocking Seppy back to sleep after his multiple hour stint of Paw Patrol, which was a great call because if we got home and Seppy was still in our room, i think that would have been really good on everybody.
01:07:32
Natalie Richards
Oh.
01:07:40
Natalie Richards
Oh my God. Mm-hmm.
01:07:42
Felicia Devine
But Seppy had woken up in the middle of the night at like 1 a.m., m which is almost exactly when I went in for surgery.
01:07:47
Natalie Richards
He would have been wanting when you went. Oh, yeah.
01:07:50
Felicia Devine
and he was yelling no mommy.
01:07:52
Natalie Richards
oh
01:07:53
Felicia Devine
And my brother was like terrified because he didn't have any answers.
01:07:55
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:07:57
Felicia Devine
And
01:07:58
Natalie Richards
But Seppi knew you weren't there and he knew something was happening.
01:08:00
Felicia Devine
he know and he did the exact same thing when Danny went to the hospital. He woke up in the middle of the night when Dan was in the hospital and was yelling no daddy.
01:08:04
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:08:08
Natalie Richards
Oh, my.
01:08:08
Felicia Devine
And he was up all night that night for me, which he hadn't.
01:08:11
Natalie Richards
Oh, my. He just knows. Mm-hmm.
01:08:14
Felicia Devine
So we get home at like 4 My brother's rocking Seppy back to sleep. I get in the shower and then Dan has to clean up all this mess. I mean, we left like everything on the floor in the bathroom.
01:08:22
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:08:25
Natalie Richards
A crime scene.
01:08:25
Felicia Devine
like It was walls, clots on the floor.
01:08:26
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:08:29
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:08:29
Felicia Devine
was bad. Like he was throwing stuff away that was ruined.
01:08:33
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:08:34
Felicia Devine
And my brother comes out of the room and we kind of like brief him on like, I'm going to be okay, but like it was not good.
01:08:40
Natalie Richards
It was not good.
01:08:40
Felicia Devine
and my brother goes home and we like try and fall asleep. And Dan and I are like traumatized, fully traumatized.
01:08:51
Felicia Devine
Like the amount of like fear I had about me dying And Dan too.
01:08:56
Natalie Richards
Yeah. yeah yeah
01:08:56
Felicia Devine
Like that could have gone so differently. And like Dan could have been planning my funeral and like Seppi would be without a mom.
01:09:02
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:09:03
Felicia Devine
And like, it was so close to not being okay.
01:09:07
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:09:07
Felicia Devine
And we like wake up in the morning and I feel like, I would say I feel decent.
01:09:14
Felicia Devine
All things considered, truthfully, i felt way better than I was expecting.
01:09:14
Natalie Richards
Sure.
01:09:15
Natalie Richards
All things considered.
01:09:18
Felicia Devine
So I wake up in the morning and I'm like, wow, that was really scary. I didn't sleep at all, obviously. But like, I don't feel terrible.
01:09:24
Natalie Richards
And thank goodness your body was strong before, right?
01:09:27
Felicia Devine
Literally, can you imagine if I wasn't doing all the things I was doing to like build my blood and have good iron and like all that stuff? Like, yeah, I was in.
01:09:34
Natalie Richards
You would not have been good.
01:09:36
Felicia Devine
ye So Friday I felt like, okay, because I was pumped with so much volume in the sense of like IVs.
01:09:43
Felicia Devine
Like I had so many bags of fluid. I had a blood transfusion. Like I had a lot going for me.
01:09:43
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:09:46
Natalie Richards
That's true. Yeah.
01:09:49
Felicia Devine
Saturday hits, not well.
01:09:51
Natalie Richards
Oh God. Oh no.
01:09:53
Felicia Devine
All of that IV fluid, recirculated into my kid. Like I peed it all out.
01:09:58
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:00
Felicia Devine
My blood volume dropped so much.
01:10:03
Natalie Richards
And you were in active healing phase.
01:10:04
Felicia Devine
And I was so unwell.
01:10:06
Natalie Richards
Oh no. So your blood pressure dropped again?
01:10:07
Felicia Devine
was just so, yeah And I was just so weak.
01:10:09
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:10:11
Natalie Richards
Ugh.
01:10:12
Felicia Devine
and that morning we had to go to a baby shower.
01:10:17
Natalie Richards
Why?
01:10:19
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:10:20
Natalie Richards
Did you went?
01:10:21
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:10:22
Natalie Richards
Oh, Felicia.
01:10:23
Felicia Devine
hey but I had to, I couldn't miss this one.
01:10:26
Natalie Richards
Okay.
01:10:26
Felicia Devine
You know who it was for.
01:10:27
Natalie Richards
Okay.
01:10:27
Felicia Devine
So, so we wake up and I'm like, I can do hard things. I've always done hard things.
01:10:32
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:34
Felicia Devine
I can do hard things. luckily, like we weren't required to like do anything for the shower. Fortunately, we like kind of were off the hook there because of what was transpiring Thursday.
01:10:43
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:10:45
Felicia Devine
They like assumed we weren't going be much help.
01:10:47
Felicia Devine
Right.
01:10:47
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:10:48
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:10:48
Felicia Devine
So we just kind of show up for the shower and I'm like, I'm so unwell. Like I was like headed, i was faint. Like I was like, Danny, I need to sit. So we're sitting, he's like getting me crackers and a ginger ale.
01:11:01
Felicia Devine
Like I'm like trying to like stay awake.
01:11:04
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh.
01:11:05
Felicia Devine
and then all the guests start arriving. Every single girl that was there was pregnant.
01:11:15
Felicia Devine
Like all of the guests were pregnant, vi like very pregnant.
01:11:16
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Oh, very pregnant. Yeah. Yeah.
01:11:20
Felicia Devine
And I didn't think I was having a hard time until I was having a hard time.
01:11:26
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:11:26
Felicia Devine
And I was like, I went from being okay into a full on like, I don't want to say like hysteria, but kind of.
01:11:35
Felicia Devine
And I was just like sobbing.
01:11:35
Natalie Richards
Sobbing.
01:11:36
Natalie Richards
Like, so sad. Yeah.
01:11:38
Felicia Devine
I just like grabbed Danny's hand and like, we like escaped and we went outside and I got some fresh air and he was like, we will leave right now if you need to leave. And like, they would not have been upset if we left.
01:11:47
Natalie Richards
Yeah. No.
01:11:51
Felicia Devine
100% understanding, but I felt like I wanted to be there and I wanted to support them. And I wanted to like, like, and at this point, no one at the party knew except for our families.
01:11:57
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:12:03
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:12:03
Felicia Devine
And so I was like, Oh God, this is just like so hard. Like everybody that was there thought I was pregnant currently like no one.
01:12:11
Natalie Richards
Yeah. And you didn't probably feel like talking about it.
01:12:13
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like, oh my God, people are going to ask me about my pregnancy. I think what had happened, i didn't ask because I don't really need to know. But I think when I left the room, I think somebody must have started spreading the word because no one asked me why I was crying.
01:12:27
Natalie Richards
Sure. Just don't mention anything.
01:12:29
Felicia Devine
No one asked me about my current pregnancy.
01:12:30
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:12:32
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:12:33
Felicia Devine
one, like, I think everyone knew, but I don't know how.
01:12:35
Natalie Richards
Which is good.
01:12:36
Felicia Devine
I'm sure they were just like, don't ask or, yeah I don't know.
01:12:38
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:12:39
Felicia Devine
It doesn't matter.
01:12:39
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:12:40
Felicia Devine
But no one asked me except my father-in-law was like, how are you holding up?
01:12:41
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:12:43
Felicia Devine
And again, hold on broke into tears had to leave the room but then after that I ended up being okay I could like have normal conversation with people and it was like fine but i was just like really unwell and that was Saturday and then
01:12:47
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:12:56
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:12:58
Natalie Richards
You had so much to recover from physically, emotionally, trauma revisited.
01:13:01
Felicia Devine
yeah yeah
01:13:05
Natalie Richards
Your body was feeling revisited trauma from all of your other stuff that you've had.
01:13:05
Felicia Devine
you know
01:13:08
Felicia Devine
yeah and it just felt so violating because every time in the hospital, they were like, oh, we need to do a check.
01:13:10
Natalie Richards
That's so complicated.
01:13:13
Felicia Devine
I'm like, you already did a check and I have so much trauma. I have scar tissue.
01:13:16
Natalie Richards
Seriously.
01:13:17
Felicia Devine
like when they were doing it, it hurt so bad.
01:13:20
Felicia Devine
And I didn't want them to do it, even though I knew they had to.
01:13:21
Natalie Richards
no
01:13:22
Felicia Devine
It was just like, there were so many things that I was just like so annoyed about.
01:13:23
Natalie Richards
i know. But like did they have to do that 20 times?
01:13:26
Felicia Devine
No, no.
01:13:28
Natalie Richards
no
01:13:28
Felicia Devine
But it was like the resident had to do it. And then this resident had to do it. And then this yeah ER doctor had to do it.
01:13:32
Natalie Richards
and Whatever. I think that's a bunch of bull.
01:13:34
Felicia Devine
I know. It was really frustrating.
01:13:37
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:13:37
Felicia Devine
So yeah. And then I had my my post-op scheduled. Now it's been a very long story already. So should we go into that?
01:13:45
Natalie Richards
That's okay.
01:13:48
Felicia Devine
Are
01:13:48
Natalie Richards
i We can. Yeah. And we can. Yeah.
01:13:52
Felicia Devine
you sure?
01:13:53
Natalie Richards
Unless you want to split it.
01:13:53
Felicia Devine
There's like, can I think we should split it because
01:13:55
Natalie Richards
Yeah, we can split it. Because we want to dive, go into the details of everything else too.
01:13:59
Felicia Devine
I want to go into the details of it and there's so much science behind it that like maybe we should, yeah, why everything happened.
01:14:03
Natalie Richards
Of why. yeah There's a lot of reasons why it happened this way.
01:14:08
Felicia Devine
Yeah, and like why it was so bloody and why it was so not letting go and like that kind of stuff.
01:14:12
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:14:15
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:14:16
Felicia Devine
I think that deserves like a lot more detail.
01:14:18
Natalie Richards
More explanation. Yeah.
01:14:20
Felicia Devine
But like, it was supposed to be just like a normal at home miscarriage. Like that was the plan.
01:14:26
Natalie Richards
Yes.
01:14:26
Felicia Devine
That was how we like were managing it.
01:14:27
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:14:29
Felicia Devine
And it ended up that like, I wasn't passing the contents of the pregnancy and like my body wasn't letting it go.
01:14:30
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:14:33
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:14:36
Felicia Devine
And I was so heavily.
01:14:36
Natalie Richards
For some reason.
01:14:39
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:14:39
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:14:40
Felicia Devine
And so that's why I needed medical intervention. But it wasn't that like Dan and I were being negligent.
01:14:46
Natalie Richards
Right.
01:14:46
Felicia Devine
It wasn't that my midwife was being negligent. It wasn't that anybody did anything wrong.
01:14:48
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:14:50
Felicia Devine
It really was like a missed scenario that no one was prepared for.
01:14:58
Natalie Richards
Yes.
01:14:59
Felicia Devine
That was like really putting a wrinkle in how it was progressing normally.
01:15:04
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:15:05
Felicia Devine
So yeah, well-
01:15:06
Natalie Richards
So there is a reason for all of this and we will get into that.
01:15:08
Felicia Devine
Yeah. We love a cliffhanger on this podcast.
01:15:12
Natalie Richards
Sorry for the cliffhanger again. But yeah, i think that I think that does deserve a little bit of a deeper explanation.
01:15:14
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the next episode.
01:15:19
Natalie Richards
But that's an insane story. I'm happy that you were... First of all, i was not... We have not talked about this stuff at all.
01:15:29
Felicia Devine
I haven't told you about it. Mm-mm.
01:15:31
Natalie Richards
No. Like you texted me like, oh my gosh, I almost died. I was passing clots. Like that's insane.
01:15:35
Felicia Devine
Mm-mm.
01:15:36
Natalie Richards
But like to hear the whole story is really...
01:15:36
Felicia Devine
Mm-mm.
01:15:39
Natalie Richards
It's really upsetting.
01:15:39
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
01:15:42
Natalie Richards
And you literally are lucky to be here, truthfully.
01:15:42
Felicia Devine
We, yeah.
01:15:44
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Cause we were,
01:15:45
Natalie Richards
There could have been a tiny blip in a lot of different a lot of different parts there and you would have not been here today.
01:15:49
Felicia Devine
right. Yeah. Like a lot of pieces went right, but a lot of things went wrong.
01:15:54
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:15:56
Felicia Devine
we got my report, my post-surgical report back the next day on my, like my chart. And we yeah were able to extrapolate how much blood I lost based on the blood loss during surgery that they like quantified.
01:16:02
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:16:09
Natalie Richards
Sure. Mm-hmm.
01:16:11
Felicia Devine
Really, they should have been counting the blood loss in the ER and they weren't.
01:16:14
Natalie Richards
the pad Well, they should have asked you how many pads you went through because you can usually you can usually like guess ounces.
01:16:17
Felicia Devine
Oh, it was astronomical.
01:16:22
Felicia Devine
The volume.
01:16:23
Natalie Richards
but Yeah, you can usually guess ounces by how many pads, and that's how OBs usually keep track of that stuff.
01:16:23
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:16:30
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:16:30
Natalie Richards
So they really needed to ask you those questions.
01:16:30
Felicia Devine
So. No one quantified the volume of blood loss in the yeah ER or anything like that, but they did quantify the blood loss in the OR during the surgery.
01:16:36
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:16:39
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:16:39
Felicia Devine
And based on that quantification, which is still like not even 100% accurate because they're stopping bleeding.
01:16:47
Natalie Richards
oh
01:16:47
Felicia Devine
So in the duration of the surgery, they're stopping the bleeding, but we were able to extrapolate that and multiply it by the hours of time I was bleeding. And it was like over two liters of blood, which is...
01:17:00
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:17:02
Felicia Devine
a giant two liter soda, like you're only given four liters of blood, like four to four and a half.
01:17:06
Natalie Richards
Right. you lost You lost half of your blood volume.
01:17:09
Felicia Devine
Yeah. So four and a four and a half, like liters of blood in your body.
01:17:09
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:13
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:17:14
Felicia Devine
And,
01:17:14
Natalie Richards
Which thankfully our bodies can keep creating it, but you still, yeah.
01:17:18
Felicia Devine
but your odds of survival. So like the odds of survival go down so drastically at that 40 to 50% mark of blood loss.
01:17:26
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:17:30
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:17:32
Felicia Devine
And I think I was onto something when I was laying outside that OR being like, I think I'm dying.
01:17:37
Natalie Richards
Yeah. You needed that blood transfusion.
01:17:38
Felicia Devine
was like, I needed it immediately.
01:17:39
Natalie Richards
Otherwise you would have, you would have died.
01:17:41
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:17:42
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:17:43
Felicia Devine
And they had to stop the source of bleeding. So there was a lot of PTSD associated with the almost dying part.
01:17:45
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:17:50
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:17:50
Felicia Devine
I wasn't as traumatized by losing the pregnancy.
01:17:54
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:17:54
Felicia Devine
I was more traumatized by almost dying.
01:17:55
Natalie Richards
It was the experience. Mm-hmm.
01:17:56
Felicia Devine
And I think Dan was too, like for nights and night nights on end, like we couldn't sleep at all.
01:17:58
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:18:01
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:18:01
Felicia Devine
like wide awake traumatized. Yeah.
01:18:04
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm. You're going to be dealing with that for a long time. We need to do some serious work.
01:18:06
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Trauma therapy.
01:18:09
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:18:09
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:18:10
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:18:10
Felicia Devine
So like I said, like there was no negligence in the story as far as like how things ended up transpiring, but like there were a lot of missed pieces and it just is unfortunate that like some people go through this and end up not making it.
01:18:23
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:18:29
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Because it can happen.
01:18:32
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:18:33
Felicia Devine
Like I said, I told Natalie before we started this, I was like, the story's really long.
01:18:33
Natalie Richards
Yep.
01:18:37
Felicia Devine
She's like, oh, I think you'll be fine.
01:18:40
Natalie Richards
No, it is long.
01:18:40
Felicia Devine
like, no, the story is so long.
01:18:42
Natalie Richards
Really long.
01:18:43
Felicia Devine
And that's not, that's just to the miscarriage part and like the surgery part.
01:18:46
Natalie Richards
Yep. To the DNC.
01:18:47
Felicia Devine
There's a lot that happens after the fact.
01:18:48
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:18:50
Felicia Devine
So yeah, we'll share that at the next episode.
01:18:51
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
01:18:54
Natalie Richards
Okay.
01:18:55
Felicia Devine
All right. Thanks for listening.
01:18:56
Natalie Richards
I'm excited to talk about it.
01:18:56
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:18:58
Natalie Richards
bye