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S2.Ep14 - Felicia's Story Pt.2- Complications and Aftermath of Pregnancy Loss

Functionally Feral
Functionally Feral

205 plays · Jun 17, 2026

This week starts with hilarious toddler updates and ends with one of the most vulnerable conversations we've ever had.

Natalie shares stories about Gene's latest adventures—including his obsession with chatting up strangers, demanding answers from store managers, and making sure everyone compliments his curls. Felicia gives an update on Sepp's newest passion: Strider biking, a possible trip to the Strider World Championships, and the realization that she may have accidentally become a sports mom.

Then we shift into a deeply personal conversation as Felicia shares the reality of discovering a nonviable pregnancy and the emotional limbo that followed. We talk about the difficult decisions surrounding miscarriage management, the uncertainty of waiting for a natural miscarriage, and what it was like continuing daily life while carrying a pregnancy that was no longer progressing.

As always, this episode is simply one woman's story and experience—not medical advice—but we hope that sharing it helps anyone who may be walking a similar road feel a little less alone.


Follow along with us on Instagram: Natalie Felicia


Transcript

Felicia Devine: Hello and welcome back to episode 14. Hi, Natalie.

Natalie Richards: Hello, Felicia. Here we are. don't

Felicia Devine: Here we are, and Natalie sitting next to a bunk bed.

Natalie Richards: know if the screen will be able to see it.

Felicia Devine: just realized that right now.

Natalie Richards: I know.

Felicia Devine: What part of the cabin are you in?

Natalie Richards: I am in, this is like the bunkhouse part of the cabin. So this is like the, there's like the main house.

Felicia Devine: Oh.

Natalie Richards: And then this is bedroom, bathroom, bunk beds, queen sleeper sofa in here.

Felicia Devine: Cool.

Natalie Richards: So it's kind of like a extra. This is actually like where I like to be.

Felicia Devine: Oh, is it?

Natalie Richards: So we we're staying in here this this time.

Felicia Devine: Okay.

Natalie Richards: And Gene now, he's at the point that he likes to sleep in the bunk bed by himself. So he'll sleep on this bottom bunk and life is good. Life is good.

Felicia Devine: Okay.

Natalie Richards: But it hasn't been like that for the last three and a half years.

Felicia Devine: Oh,

Natalie Richards: So this is our first trip.

Felicia Devine: good.

Natalie Richards: Okay. This is like the last time we were here and this time.

Felicia Devine: Yes, tell us.

Natalie Richards: This is our first trip where I don't have diapers to change.

Felicia Devine: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: I don't have bottles. I don't have pacifiers. I don't have anything that is like holding me back.

Felicia Devine: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: We now have a normal child that is sleeping and it's wonderful.

Felicia Devine: Like toddler. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Just in time for you to get that puppy.

Natalie Richards: I know. And Jean, if anybody's paying attention, Jean will be four in three weeks.

Felicia Devine: And start body training all over again.

Natalie Richards: Okay. This is how long this takes to like be, be into having a normal child.

Felicia Devine: That's insane.

Natalie Richards: Oh my gosh.

Felicia Devine: Wow. Yeah, I'm at two years.

Natalie Richards: oh

Felicia Devine: Wow.

Natalie Richards: And he, yeah.

Felicia Devine: Halfway there.

Natalie Richards: I mean, he still has his like comfort blanket. That's, that's a whole other thing, but he may have that forever.

Felicia Devine: Oh, that thing is hysterical. We were in Disney in November and it was like 85 degrees and Gene is wrapped up in a queen size fluffy blanket in Disney World.

Natalie Richards: He might have that forever.

Natalie Richards: Oh, Jeannie, of course, literally like a full size bed blanket. And that's what he takes with him everywhere.

Felicia Devine: Like bigger than his stroller. But if that's what he needs to nap, then like pop off Gene.

Natalie Richards: He's good and he's good to go.

Felicia Devine: Have at Yeah.

Natalie Richards: He's good to go.

Felicia Devine: Oh, that's so good.

Natalie Richards: I just heard him. He came out of the other house. He goes, where's mommy?

Felicia Devine: Mommy's hiding.

Natalie Richards: Gene is doing he's watching creature videos with my brother. So my brother was showing him showing him lizards and and things.

Felicia Devine: Oh, fine. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: So we'll see how long that lasts. But

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: we'll we'll do our best. It's

Felicia Devine: We'll do our best to keep hiding.

Natalie Richards: like, where's mommy?

Felicia Devine: OK. What are some updated stories from the last week?

Natalie Richards: Okay. Gene has been so funny this trip. Honestly, because he is way more independent right now. Like he's, he's branching out a little bit. He's so funny.

Felicia Devine: OK.

Natalie Richards: This kid is hilarious. He is obsessed with like, what's the age range? Probably from like seven years old to like 16 year old girls.

Natalie Richards: Okay. Maybe like 18, depending on how young they look.

Felicia Devine: Oh my goodness.

Natalie Richards: So he is like, he's got like laser beams for eyes. Like he sees someone in that age range and locks in and he, he wants to, he just goes, he beelines, he beelines over to them, stands in front of them and goes, Hi, how was your yesterday?

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Licky, wants to go play with them?

Natalie Richards: How was your, how's everything going?

Felicia Devine: I was here yesterday.

Natalie Richards: Are you enjoying, are you enjoying being up here? Are you, what kind of ice cream are you getting?

Felicia Devine: Aww.

Natalie Richards: He says, I get vanilla ice cream. He just says, my mommy's a chiropractor. She does adjustments. And then she he says, have doggies.

Felicia Devine: My dad, he's a police officer. He arrests people.

Natalie Richards: I have doggies. They are Duke and River. And he like trails on and on and on and on and on.

Felicia Devine: Oh

Natalie Richards: I'm just standing there like, this is my worst nightmare. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: my gosh, he's so social.

Natalie Richards: He's so social. He is my mother.

Felicia Devine: Wow.

Natalie Richards: I've told you this before.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: He is my mom reincarnated in a little boy's body.

Felicia Devine: He's Anita reincarnated.

Felicia Devine: Wait, Jinx, we just both said that.

Natalie Richards: And she thinks it's hilarious.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, because she's right behind him doing the exact same thing.

Natalie Richards: Because she's doing the same thing. She's trying to go talk to everyone as well.

Felicia Devine: Yes. nice Yes.

Natalie Richards: But he just like latches on to these girls and it's hilarious. So everywhere we go, we've been to this ice cream place that's like down the street from us now three times.

Felicia Devine: Oh.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: And every time, conveniently, there's a lovely girl to talk to or groups because all the camp counselors are up here right now getting ready for the summer.

Felicia Devine: Oh, my God.

Felicia Devine: Oh. Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: And they'll come in like in groups of people and they're all just like I don't know, 16, 17, 18. So funny.

Felicia Devine: He loves it

Natalie Richards: He loves it. And so he's been a social little butterfly and it's so cute.

Felicia Devine: I love that.

Natalie Richards: What was the other funny thing that he's been doing? Oh, he, when we go to stores and they might not have like what he was expecting that we would get at that store. He will seek out a manager and he will go find them and say, mommy, I have to ask them.

Natalie Richards: I have to talk to them about where this thing is. Like, oh my God.

Felicia Devine: He is so Anita.

Natalie Richards: I'm like, Jean, no, no, no. We don't have to do that. It's okay.

Felicia Devine: Why don't you carry organic grapes?

Natalie Richards: We're... I'm not even kidding. he Costco, our Costco, they used to have like this, this bottled water machine in the food court.

Felicia Devine: Oh.

Natalie Richards: I don't know if all Costco's have them, but ours did. And you can get a bottle of water for 25 cents. So you put a quarter in, it does, it's the whole like fun funky thing where it grabs the water and it brings it down to the

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: to the opening and he thinks it's like the coolest thing ever. They took it away from the food court and he could not let it go. Like with the whole time that we were walking out, goes, mom, I have to ask them where they took the water machine.

Natalie Richards: So then the guy who checks out your receipt at the end, he goes, where did the water machine go?

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Where is it

Natalie Richards: Where is it? Like, why did you take it away?

Felicia Devine: Yeah. And the guy probably didn't have any clue.

Natalie Richards: And they were like, well I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about.

Felicia Devine: He's like, oh, come again.

Natalie Richards: So anyway, he is like literally the definition of, can I ask your manager?

Felicia Devine: Oh

Natalie Richards: Like he he's a king he's a Karen.

Felicia Devine: gosh. That's so good He is a Karen.

Natalie Richards: o

Felicia Devine: oh my God, he's your mother though.

Natalie Richards: It's funny.

Felicia Devine: That is wild.

Natalie Richards: He's my mother. So that's what he's been doing lately. And he's turning into a very interesting personality that I don't know what to do with because I would never in my entire life go ask somebody those questions.

Felicia Devine: No. No, and I don't think Kyle would either.

Natalie Richards: No. So this is purely my mom.

Felicia Devine: This is a form of torture.

Natalie Richards: coming down through the generations said I'm parenting my mother

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Oh my gosh.

Felicia Devine: I love it.

Natalie Richards: so that's what he's been doing it's so funny anybody who who knows Gene is and has been around Gene kind of knows that that's how he is he's just so funny oh the other thing he has beautiful blonde curls right

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: That's so cute. I love it.

Felicia Devine: Oh, they're gorgeous. Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: He's gotten really used to people looking at him saying, wow, you have amazing hair.

Felicia Devine: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: he now, if somebody doesn't mention his hair upon first glance, he says, do you like my curls?

Felicia Devine: You didn't say anything, Seamus. Hate them.

Natalie Richards: He has to make sure that people mention his curls.

Felicia Devine: Really?

Natalie Richards: It's funny. He's done it three times on this trip alone.

Felicia Devine: my gosh.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Do you like my girls?

Felicia Devine: s Sep also gets lots of compliments on his blonde girls.

Natalie Richards: as he will continue to.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, and he just like pats them. People are like, oh my God, your hair is so cute. I love it. And he goes, like, he's like, I know.

Natalie Richards: Oh, that's so cute. He's like, I know. Enough people have told me.

Felicia Devine: I know.

Felicia Devine: o

Natalie Richards: It's really funny.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, yeah.

Natalie Richards: So Sefi is going to be, you're going to be in the same boat where people are just going to constantly, it just blows up their little ego, which is great as a child.

Felicia Devine: I know.

Felicia Devine: Yes, yes, yeah.

Natalie Richards: It's fine. But I don't know what that, I don't know what that becomes.

Felicia Devine: He's recently stopped being called a girl, which is so nice.

Natalie Richards: Oh, that's good.

Felicia Devine: He was called a callda girl his entire babyhood, child toddlerhood, up until pretty recently.

Natalie Richards: Jean was called the girl. Yeah, Jean was called the girl just the other day.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. And just yesterday.

Natalie Richards: In full boy attire.

Felicia Devine: I know. like, he's wearing blue and dinosaurs.

Natalie Richards: orange

Felicia Devine: And yeah, I'm like all the things, a baggy short, a loose fitting boxy tee, like not a frill about it. And, oh, she's so cute.

Natalie Richards: Mm-mm.

Felicia Devine: And I'm like, that's so odd.

Natalie Richards: It's so funny. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: I'm like, whatever. But yeah, it doesn't matter.

Natalie Richards: Whatever. It doesn't matter. What other cute things is he doing?

Felicia Devine: So i I am a hypocrite through and through.

Natalie Richards: Oh, no. Oh, no.

Felicia Devine: I have been preaching from the mountaintops that I will not sign my kids up for sports.

Natalie Richards: Oh, no. Not yet. but

Felicia Devine: I will not sign my kids up for sports. Organized sports are a like disaster for little people. i was like, I didn't start organized sports until I was eight and I turned out just fine.

Natalie Richards: They are.

Felicia Devine: i have two state champions on my fingers.

Natalie Richards: That makes me feel better.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, yeah.

Natalie Richards: Okay, good. Okay, cool.

Felicia Devine: I'm like, you don't need to be an organized sport when you're three years old.

Natalie Richards: Uh-huh.

Felicia Devine: Well, here we are. We're two. We just crested the two-year-old birthday. I mean, he's literally 25 months old. And I think we're taking him to... The Strider World Championship in Sarasota, Florida.

Natalie Richards: Okay, he's really good at it though.

Felicia Devine: He's really good at it.

Natalie Richards: The strider bike, he's so good at it.

Felicia Devine: Yes.

Natalie Richards: I told you, Gene's genes proportions could have never allowed him to do that.

Felicia Devine: And the World Championship.

Natalie Richards: He he cannot ride a strider bike.

Felicia Devine: He wouldn't have fit.

Natalie Richards: No, his legs are too long and that no matter what adjustments you do, he doesn't fit on the bike.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Seppi is like the perfect, proportionally perfect for a strider bike and he's really good at it.

Felicia Devine: Proportionately perfect. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Yes. He's so good at it. And he's so brave. And the, so Strider is the brand of bike and it's the type of bike that doesn't have pedals and they come in a size 12 inch and a so size 14 inch.

Natalie Richards: oh

Felicia Devine: Now in Florida for I think I want to say, don't quote me.

Natalie Richards: Oh my God.

Felicia Devine: I want to say 15 years now they've held the world championship and

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: for these Strider bikes. And they do 12 inch category and a 14 inch category.

Natalie Richards: Do they really...

Felicia Devine: Yeah. And they do two year olds, three year olds and four year olds. Like each category is its own age and and size.

Natalie Richards: Wow. Age and size of bike. Okay.

Felicia Devine: And but Dan's sister lives in Sarasota.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: So I'm like, it makes sense to go down and do a family trip, but also sign my kid up for the world championship race of the Strider divisions.

Natalie Richards: How do you think he would actually do with all those people and with like everybody going at the same time?

Felicia Devine: The positive is that he's around a lot of people all the time.

Natalie Richards: That's true.

Felicia Devine: He's not shy.

Natalie Richards: That's true.

Felicia Devine: He's very outgoing. So I don't fear that when we get there, he would be like stage fright. Kind of like, I don't think he would clam up.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: And he just like lives and breathes and like eats his bike.

Natalie Richards: so cute. Obviously he does.

Felicia Devine: Like everything about him centers around his helmet, his bike, putting on shoes to go bike ride. like we bike ride every day, all day long.

Natalie Richards: Every day.

Felicia Devine: So yeah.

Natalie Richards: And he sees his dad also doing that. So why would it be any different?

Felicia Devine: Yeah. And so he just like is really good at it and really passionate. And I'm like, honestly, it's almost like funny. I like want to do it for the, like the comic of like my kid raced in the world championship at two years old.

Natalie Richards: You just, yes. It's more funny. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: think you have to.

Felicia Devine: My kids, my kids a world champion at two years old.

Natalie Richards: Wait, what part of Florida is it

Felicia Devine: Sarasota.

Natalie Richards: Oh, it's in Sarasota. Okay.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: So I'm like, we could kill two birds with one stone, make it a family trip.

Natalie Richards: Oh my gosh, how fun.

Felicia Devine: But also I think it would be so fun to just like see, see if he has passion for it, which he does.

Natalie Richards: Do it. And you know what?

Felicia Devine: But

Natalie Richards: I don't feel like that's organized sports at all.

Felicia Devine: you don't.

Natalie Richards: I've no, no, don't think you, I don't think you're a hypocrite.

Felicia Devine: Okay.

Felicia Devine: Okay.

Natalie Richards: No, that's like a life skill.

Felicia Devine: Okay.

Natalie Richards: That's not like you put him in soccer and watch him run across a field chasing butterflies.

Felicia Devine: okay

Natalie Richards: Like that's very different.

Felicia Devine: Okay. All right. So I was like, oh my God, I'm such a silly girl. Cause I just keep like hating on people in organized sport.

Natalie Richards: No,

Felicia Devine: So yeah, I think we're going to do that.

Natalie Richards: no, I think that's cute.

Felicia Devine: And so this past week we took him to his first pump track.

Natalie Richards: I saw that, that was so cute.

Felicia Devine: And you would have, like, we were joking about the Sarasota thing beforehand. And then we show up to the track. We're all by ourselves. It's a dirt track. So it's like not that scary, to be honest with you.

Felicia Devine: And there's so many different options. So it's not like he has to go down these like huge trick, like obstacles or like any of these features that are like overtly giant.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: So we get there.

Natalie Richards: right

Felicia Devine: He is so scared, Natalie.

Natalie Richards: Oh no.

Felicia Devine: He wouldn't even get on the bike. he was standing at the top of like this little dirt mound. And he's like, no, no.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: And we're like, oh no.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: So we were like, okay, so Sarasota out of the picture.

Natalie Richards: Out.

Felicia Devine: We were like, no, Sarasota. And then i was like, well, how about we think we walk the little trail? Like we walk on the little features and we just like walk around and we take some of the pressure off.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: So he walked them. Then he gets on his bike and he's like, like he got on the bike, but then he still was like terrified. Well, would you imagine in like 30 minutes, Nat, he was going full force all by himself.

Natalie Richards: Of course, because he's got he's got it.

Felicia Devine: He went from not even standing on it. Yeah. Not even wanting to be there to drifting and shredding in 30 minutes.

Natalie Richards: oh

Natalie Richards: See, what an amazing life skill. You know what?

Felicia Devine: I was like, I'm so proud of him.

Natalie Richards: Sorry.

Felicia Devine: And we really weren't like, get on your bike. Like we were just like, you can do these things.

Natalie Richards: No. Encouraging.

Felicia Devine: Like I truly knew he had the skill.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: Like he's very balanced.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: He knows how to like lift his feet and glide.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like I wasn't putting him in a skill that like, or like an obstacle that he couldn't achieve.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: But it was so funny to watch him go from like being absolutely terrified to crushing the skillset in like 30 minutes.

Natalie Richards: Oh, that's so cute.

Felicia Devine: And he was so he was so sweaty. His cheeks were so red. He was like drenched in sweat because he was going so hard. And okay we just blew the top off of that.

Felicia Devine: Like get us to October and that skill development to October, he's gonna crush it.

Natalie Richards: no kidding. I love this. I love it.

Felicia Devine: And he'll be two and a half exactly.

Natalie Richards: And he'll be too. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: yeah so I'm like, he'll be like in that sweet spot of like, he's had enough time as a two-year-old to be in that division.

Natalie Richards: Oh, right.

Felicia Devine: I wish he was a little closer to three, but I don't know.

Natalie Richards: Whatever.

Felicia Devine: I mean, I don't know.

Natalie Richards: Whatever.

Felicia Devine: Like we could show up and all these kids could be literal experts or we could show up and it could just be like, kids are just starting to ride the Strider.

Natalie Richards: He'll be well-developed.

Natalie Richards: His motor skills have already been so well-developed.

Felicia Devine: I don't know. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Like, he's good.

Felicia Devine: yeah Yeah. But the kid has loose elbows.

Natalie Richards: Gene, I cannot say the same.

Felicia Devine: Oh my gosh, Natalie.

Natalie Richards: Does he? oh no

Felicia Devine: He dislocates his elbow. Like the week we went to the beach, he dislocated his elbows like four or five times.

Natalie Richards: What?

Felicia Devine: In a one week, like nothing.

Natalie Richards: Wait, how? Just like doing normal. Oh.

Felicia Devine: No, doing nothing. That's the scary part.

Natalie Richards: Oh no.

Felicia Devine: Like he can, like yesterday we were at a birthday party with like these jungle gyms. He was hanging from rings swinging, like double hand hanging from ring swinging. Totally fine.

Natalie Richards: And they, yes.

Felicia Devine: Totally fine. He goes to bed at night and wakes up with dislocated elbows.

Natalie Richards: What?

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh, that's so weird.

Felicia Devine: I'm not, I'm not kidding.

Natalie Richards: He might have, I mean, with your like hand thing, like he may have some sort of connective tissue, something you'll have to see.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Dislocates his elbows doing nothing.

Felicia Devine: Yes. So I got us, I got the both of us, these copper and iron drops. And then going to start giving him a little bit of collagen, see how his belly takes it.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: But that should be good for like ligament

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: strength and stability but yeah he he has the weirdest elbows because like i'm not kidding he's the roughest he'll be doing flips and tumbles and jumping around and doing back flips on the the bounce house and then like we'll go to like do something like so simple like he'll be laying on the ground and it'll dislocate and i'm like what just happened yeah and it's both elbows

Natalie Richards: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so weird.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh my What? There's something with some weird angle that he's doing or something.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, yeah, I know.

Natalie Richards: Interesting. Okay.

Felicia Devine: So I'm like, okay, we have a lot going for us.

Natalie Richards: That's odd. Good

Felicia Devine: And then these elbows are really like pink in my hose.

Natalie Richards: thing biking doesn't really require good elbow strength.

Felicia Devine: yeah

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: You can have s floppy elbows and be a cyclist. But it's weird because he is like, he's strong, but those elbows just are loose.

Natalie Richards: Thank goodness.

Natalie Richards: Interesting. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: he He has the muscle. Okay. That's interesting.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, so that's my update.

Natalie Richards: But I love that for you. I think you absolutely should do it.

Felicia Devine: I know. And I'm like, I'm a cycling mommy now, you know, and I've always been like a cycling wife.

Natalie Richards: Of course. Oh, I love it. It's so cute.

Felicia Devine: So I've like kind of been in it for a long time now.

Natalie Richards: You have.

Natalie Richards: It's amazing.

Felicia Devine: I love going to races. I love like what you wear to a bike race. Like it's just, that's my life.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: I love it.

Natalie Richards: Yep. it It makes sense.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yeah. Seth already has three bikes.

Natalie Richards: Nothing else makes sense.

Felicia Devine: He's two. he has three bikes and he has three different helmets.

Natalie Richards: I expect nothing Okay.

Felicia Devine: That is, like, his favorite gift for Christmas this past year was a helmet. We, like, couldn't move on.

Natalie Richards: It's my nephew. I got him a snowboarding helmet last year for Christmas and he now wears it all day, every day.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: It's a full on snowboarding helmet.

Felicia Devine: Yes. Yes.

Natalie Richards: And he he only wears it on like the top of his head.

Felicia Devine: Oh,

Natalie Richards: Sitting just like on the crown of his head.

Felicia Devine: my gosh. It's so cute.

Natalie Richards: It's so cute. I love, i love it.

Felicia Devine: I love it. Yeah, yeah. So Sepi is like a little sport guy.

Natalie Richards: It's so funny.

Natalie Richards: Amazing.

Felicia Devine: So it's been fun.

Natalie Richards: I love that.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Amazing. That's going to be so cute.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, so I think that's our only like weekly update. i don't think anything else really happened.

Natalie Richards: Yeah, or like fun updates. Our last episode, we teased a little a little intensity.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yes.

Natalie Richards: So we're going to we're going to dive into what Felicia was talking about when she said things are a little shocking in the weeks that that led after the initial like ultrasound of finding out that there was no baby.

Felicia Devine: Yes. So now we can get into that.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: We found out.

Felicia Devine: said

Felicia Devine: There was no baby in my uterus, but there were other things.

Natalie Richards: But there, right. There were other things. Right. So now we're going to get into what the heck does that mean?

Felicia Devine: and Yes. So again, we'll offer a little trigger warning. We're sharing about pregnancy loss and my experience with it.

Felicia Devine: Now this is my story.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: It's not everybody's. And if you're going through your pregnancy loss, make your own decisions with your own healthcare team.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So based on what I did, this is my experience.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Right. Right. This is, yeah.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: I

Natalie Richards: And you end up having like the worst possible scenario in a lot of things.

Felicia Devine: know.

Felicia Devine: know

Natalie Richards: And it's really unfortunate because

Felicia Devine: It is. And I joke with people because I'm like, I am so, like not to brag, but like I'm a very healthy person.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: take extremely good care of myself.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: I'm extremely good to myself. I don't have any like toxic behaviors.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: And then these things happen to me that I'm like, this is odd.

Natalie Richards: Like, how does that actually happen? But it is what it is.

Felicia Devine: It's frustrating. But I prevail every time.

Natalie Richards: It's teaching lessons.

Felicia Devine: yeah

Natalie Richards: And now we have a platform that you can actually, like, teach people about what is happening.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yeah. Because honestly, I didn't know anything about this.

Natalie Richards: So, right.

Felicia Devine: Okay.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: So we kind of left off with I went to work on Wednesday and Thursday after. So if just to recap, I found out I lost the pregnancy on Wednesday morning.

Felicia Devine: I got the ultrasound at a private clinic and they said, oh, there's like no baby. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. However, on the ultrasound, I did have a placenta and a like a embryonic sac.

Natalie Richards: Thecal sac.

Felicia Devine: Like, yeah, like there were baby parts, but the baby was like missing in action, right?

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yep.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Which is very devastating because how do you tell people like, oh, there's no heartbeat. And then, but you're like also like, but there was no baby like that.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: And honestly, of all the things that happened, I found that to be the most embarrassing.

Natalie Richards: The weird, yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like I was like embarrassed to say there was no baby. i don't know why.

Natalie Richards: Yes. yes

Felicia Devine: Like, I was just like, that's like, almost like I was like fake.

Natalie Richards: Well, because it's very strange.

Felicia Devine: Not, I don't want to say faking. Almost like I was like grieving something that didn't even exist. So like, why are you grieving?

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: That's how I felt. But I like grew a placenta. I grew a fecal sac. Like I had baby parts.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. You had all the, yes.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yeah. But what I didn't have was what they call a fetal pole.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: And that's like the actual baby that is developing.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Cause like when it's a new embryo, it's like, there's no like baby parts anyway, right? Like at at nine weeks, it's just like a little tadpole.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Not, okay.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: that's That's an exaggeration. It's like a very small, like inch and a half long fetus without arms.

Natalie Richards: It's... Yes. Yes.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Okay.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: So I go about... My work day, Wednesday. i go about my work day, Thursday. Now at this point, my staff knows and my family knows, my midwife, Natalie, like those people know, but my patients don't know.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: All right.

Felicia Devine: And they're like, oh, you're glowing. Oh, it must be the pregnancy. Oh, you look so cute today. It must be the pregnancy.

Natalie Richards: It must be.

Felicia Devine: The amount of people that like, I want to say complimented me because that's like what their intention was.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: They're like, oh my God, you look so cute in that outfit. You're glowing. Must be the pregnant. I'm like,

Natalie Richards: It was probably like more that day than ever before.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: oh God.

Felicia Devine: And it was just funny because like my staff would like look at me and I'm like, well, I'm not going to like Google up the room right now.

Natalie Richards: No, no, no, no, no. no

Felicia Devine: Cause I also found it very odd in the days to follow the ultrasound, how to present that I had had a miscarriage, right?

Natalie Richards: That information. Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Because you had the miscarriage, AKA there is no viable fetus.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: However, I haven't lost the, but like I haven't lost the things like the miscarriage hasn't currently happened.

Natalie Richards: You haven't gone through. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So I found it very difficult to express what had happened because it hadn't happened yet.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. Yes.

Felicia Devine: So I was in this limbo of like, do I say I lost the baby or do I say I'm losing the baby or do I say it's about to start?

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like, I don't know.

Natalie Richards: Yeah, because you don't know where you're at.

Felicia Devine: It was a really weird thing. So I kind of like chose to forego saying anything to anybody outside of my exact circle until it had happened.

Natalie Richards: And that's also like really hard when somebody is coming to you really excited and like, oh, how's the pregnancy?

Felicia Devine: Nice.

Natalie Richards: And you say, you have to decide whether you want to really bring that energy down.

Felicia Devine: Yes, I know. So I, for an actual week, I was lying to people's faces, which was totally fine with me because yeah, you're right.

Natalie Richards: m oh

Natalie Richards: I think that is a-okay. Okay.

Felicia Devine: Like I didn't know how to be like, we lost the baby, but we didn't lose the baby, but it's going to start, but it didn't start yet.

Natalie Richards: Right. You don't need to get into all of that.

Felicia Devine: yeah So I was like, I'll just wait till everything like is said and done.

Natalie Richards: m

Felicia Devine: And then we will move on.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So the weekend hits, I'm now talking with my team. AKA like Natalie, my family, and midwife, and we're deciding on three options.

Natalie Richards: We talked. Yeah. Right.

Felicia Devine: Do I wait for this to pass naturally? So in a natural unassisted miscarriage, your body will detach the placenta and you will bleed and not you'll bleed and clot and pass the contents.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Natalie Richards: Yes, yes.

Felicia Devine: and then there's another option where you can take a medication and that medication is kind of like, think of what they give people when they're like starting a, induction to start the process of detaching the placenta and like moving the baby out.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: Or there's the third option of the surgery called a DNC or a DNE. now a DNC is a dilation and surclose.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Circlage, I believe.

Felicia Devine: Is that it?

Natalie Richards: Circlage, I'm pretty sure.

Felicia Devine: thought a cerclage was when they so sew your cervix together.

Natalie Richards: Oh, that is dilation and...

Felicia Devine: A DNC, dilation and something. Or a DNE, which is a dilation and evacuate. Yeah, evacuate.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Oh, now I'm confusing myself. Anyway, there's two options. They're kind of the same thing.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Kind of. And those are like the options. You could go natural, medication, surgical. Okay. So I'm going over stuff or there's a fourth option in like the holistic world, which is like herbal remedies to start things along.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: And homeopathy. Okay.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: So I talk with my homeopathist. Oh my God.

Natalie Richards: Homeopath.

Felicia Devine: I am literally getting myself all twisted. I talk to my homeopath.

Natalie Richards: It's okay. We have a lot of things to talk about.

Felicia Devine: I have a lot of big words in my head right now because I'm like trying to process. Okay. I talked homeopath and I'm like, these are the things that are happening. So she's like, I'll be right there. She brings over different remedies that are pre-blended for me.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And she brings over some bone broth and some tea. Like she was like so helpful. And she's like, start taking this. This is to support the uterus and this process and like your emotions. And like, there was a lot going on.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And then my midwife was like, Let's because I had chosen to go natural. Right. So my midwife was like, if things don't progress how you want to see them progress, we can always revisit the herbal stuff.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: But let's just wait and see.

Natalie Richards: Right. And that's, I think, what we had talked about too, where it's like, you can always move on to different levels of care.

Felicia Devine: hmm. you can always ramp up your your like choices.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And my midwife was like, it could take up to two weeks.

Natalie Richards: Yep. And that's the, that's why I think what a lot of people aren't ready to accept is like, oh, you don't want to have that unknown.

Felicia Devine: And I was like, I don't know.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: And I totally understand why people would choose a more medicalized option just to be done with it. I totally get that.

Felicia Devine: yeah And coming from a point of being in it I would have always like from the outside looking in been like, yeah, go natural. Why would you ever ramp up the options?

Felicia Devine: Like just go natural. Your body knows what to do. But when you're sitting in it and you're carrying around a pregnancy that you know isn't there, it's so weird.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. It's yucky. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: It's so weird. And I also was like super traumatized by the fact that like I could go anywhere.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like I go to the grocery store. go to like a track. We went to a track meet. I go to work.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I'm like, it could start anywhere.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: You just don't know. And like, I guess that's kind of like labor, but labor is a lot less scary in my opinion.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: don't know. You're not going to just start bleeding. Like you're going to have like your water break and it's like, oh, she's having a baby.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: Like you're not at the grocery store and you just start bleeding through your pants. Like that is so different.

Natalie Richards: Totally.

Felicia Devine: So I just was like kind of sitting on my hands being like, oh, I'm just like really uncomfortable about... not knowing, but I have to continue living life. And like, I know these are my choices.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And like, I just felt more comfortable going naturally, even though it was like emotionally a little bit like harder.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So I go through the weekend. And like I said, like we went to a track meet. We like went out to dinner. Like we did these things because I was like, I cannot just sit at home and wait.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: What life is that? Like, because if it did take two weeks, I'm like, I'm not going to just sit at home for two weeks and not leave my house.

Natalie Richards: I know.

Natalie Richards: Totally.

Felicia Devine: And I have a toddler. Like we want to go do things. We want to like explore.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So

Natalie Richards: That's the hard part too about having an ultrasound and knowing that it's not progressing.

Felicia Devine: yeah.

Natalie Richards: Whereas like in a in any other situation, you kind of you wouldn't necessarily know. and yes, it would be traumatizing having

Felicia Devine: Right.

Natalie Richards: a miscarriage just start out of the blue, but knowing is hard to sit on that.

Felicia Devine: Right. Right. Like spontaneous. Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So it was really interesting. All of my spotting had stopped.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So I was just like living what I would perceive as like a normal life and going about so like on Monday, Monday rolled around and I was like, okay, I'll go see patients.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Wow. And you weren't having any like cramping or anything like that? That's crazy.

Felicia Devine: No. And I still had my belly at a very large belly for being nine weeks, which

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: We're being here. Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: We'll get into. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And Wednesday, i preemptively canceled my afternoon on Monday because I was like, I just want a little bit more time because I had Tuesday off and Wednesday off.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I was like, that will actually give me some time to just like let it happen if it does.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like I was like, it's been, so Wednesday would have been a week.

Natalie Richards: Yep. To mentally, to mentally allow, like, allow yourself to say, okay, it's fine.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Like I can relax at my house and like my body will release. So I'm like, okay, let's do that.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Let's take Wednesday off in the afternoon. i don't even think I had that heavy of a schedule anyway.

Natalie Richards: yeah

Felicia Devine: So i was like, let's just take it off so I could have Tuesday home, Wednesday home.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And Wednesday was a week. So I was like, I've been in this for seven days of like walking around with a pregnancy that's not a pregnancy anymore.

Natalie Richards: yeah Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Talking to people saying that everything is fine. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yeah. so Wednesday hits and goes by. I was home Tuesday, Wednesday, and nothing happened. And i was like, darn, I feel really frustrated.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: So I go to work Wednesday or Thursday. So i have a full day of patience Thursday. I get it through the morning and I feel fine. And then don't know what was going on that Danny. So Dan goes home on Thursdays to feed the dog lunch and then he comes back. And there was something that I really needed from Dan. And I don't like honestly in this moment, I'm like not remembering what it was, but I was waiting for him to get back to work.

Felicia Devine: I was waiting for him. And I don't know if it was just to come talk to me.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. And you were, yeah, you were there.

Felicia Devine: So I was at work and I was just walking the perimeter of our parking lot and our grass waiting for Dan. And i like I said, in this moment, I don't really know why I was waiting for Dan.

Natalie Richards: Interesting.

Felicia Devine: So I'm walking and i'm walking. I just like don't feel good. I'm like, ugh. I just like, I'm feeling kind of nauseous. I'm just like frustrated. know I have a big afternoon of patience.

Felicia Devine: I'm like, ugh, let's just get through the day.

Natalie Richards: Ugh.

Felicia Devine: It was a gorgeous sunny day.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: walking around outside and Danny gets there and I'm like, just like, I don't know. i have like a big day. i don't know if he was bringing me like a drink, like a, a spin drift. Like i I can't recall, but I see him and i'm like, okay, I start patients.

Natalie Richards: Sure.

Felicia Devine: I think I started patients at two 15 or two 10. I start seeing people and i remember seeing my two 30 and it was this lovely older woman. And we've been, she's been a patient of mine for years.

Felicia Devine: I've known this family.

Natalie Richards: My dad, hold on. He's literally starting a machine right now.

Felicia Devine: I can't hear it.

Natalie Richards: Well, you can't. Okay, good.

Felicia Devine: No,

Natalie Richards: I'm sorry. Okay, keep going. If you can't hear it, then great.

Felicia Devine: I can't hear it.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: oh I remember starting to to work on her and she's like, how's how's the pregnancy going? And I was like, to be honest with you.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: And like, she was like the first patient I told, was like, you know, this is happening. Like we're losing the baby. i'm having a miscarriage. And she was like, I'm so sorry. Like right now? And I was like, yeah, I think we're like right now.

Natalie Richards: Oh, you just knew.

Felicia Devine: She was like, I just knew. And like, I could, you know, how you can like kind of feel when your period starts.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. And you knew her. you were, yeah, you knew her so well and you were comfortable with her.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And she's like, Felicia. And I was like, I know. i'm like, I shouldn't like, i don't know what to do. Cause like it hasn't started, but it has started. Like I was like in this limbo.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And sure enough, she was the last patient I worked on because then I started working on the next patient and I look up at Dr. Taylor and she had a gap right then.

Felicia Devine: Like she had, she didn't have a patient at that moment.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I go, Dr. Taylor, you need to work on this patient. Like I literally was like starting to adjust her.

Natalie Richards: Oh, my.

Felicia Devine: And I was like, you need to come see her. And like Taylor knew everything.

Natalie Richards: Oh, my. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And so she was like, yep, gotcha.

Natalie Richards: What would be happening?

Felicia Devine: And her and I had seen this patient, like wishy-washy, like she worked on her prior.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So i go to the bathroom now because it's Thursday, Giuseppe's at work and I'm now in the bathroom.

Natalie Richards: Oh, yeah.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: I yell out to Sarah, one of my girls at the front. And I'm like, can you bring me my phone? I think I said that somehow they got me my phone.

Natalie Richards: h

Felicia Devine: And at this point I'm like on the toilet and I'm starting to bleed heavily. And I'm like, they knew if I were to say like now, they would just cancel my day.

Natalie Richards: h

Felicia Devine: Like that was like predetermined.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: I didn't have to explain to them what was happening.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: They moved as many people over to Taylor as they could. They canceled people that needed to be canceled. And I called Dan and I said, you need to take me home right now. And that plan.

Natalie Richards: Ugh.

Felicia Devine: My plan was to like go home by myself. Like i was gonna drive myself home, but it was like intense.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: You couldn't have.

Felicia Devine: I couldn't have driven myself because A, the cramping was really, really bad.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: And B, I was bleeding very heavily.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Like really, yeah.

Natalie Richards: Like out of the blue, like just.

Felicia Devine: It was like, I didn't have anything and then I had a lot.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So I like kind of get myself situated to the point where I can like walk out of the bathroom and like tell Fran, like, hey, you need to start packing Sepi stuff. Like I need my computer packed up, get my purse, like my lunchbox.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like I had stuff to like kind of compile.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So this patient walks out that Taylor had been working on. This patient walks out. She goes, oh, you weren't feeling well. And I was like, yeah, I'm just really not feeling well. And she goes, yeah, you don't look good.

Natalie Richards: Oh, boy. Don't we love to hear that?

Felicia Devine: i go, she goes, yeah, you really look like you don't feel good. I was like, yeah.

Natalie Richards: Thank you so much.

Felicia Devine: She goes, well, you know, that can happen when we're pregnant.

Natalie Richards: Oh, God.

Felicia Devine: And at this point, I'm like, well, unfortunately, you know, I'm having a miscarriage. And she looks at me and she's like, oh, I've had plenty of miscarriages.

Felicia Devine: I thought I was miscarrying. With this one, she goes on this story about all of her miscarriages, the ones that worked, the ones that she thought was miscarrying, but ended up being like her son.

Natalie Richards: Oh my.

Felicia Devine: And that I'm standing in the middle of the room and I can't move because if I move, blood's going start running down.

Natalie Richards: Blood's gonna...

Felicia Devine: like like

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: I'm frozen in space. I'm being trapped by stories.

Natalie Richards: Oh. Oh my.

Felicia Devine: And I was just like, I really need this to like end.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: And I can't move until she walks away.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: And I was just like, oh my gosh, I was like literally trapped. So eventually she turns to walk away after like a couple minutes of stories, like more minutes than I was comfortable standing there.

Natalie Richards: Oh, for sure.

Felicia Devine: So she walks away. I'm like, you girls need to grab all my stuff. I'm going back to the bathroom.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: So I go back to the bathroom and the the bathroom is positioned on the side of the building where there's like a window and like out the window is like the side of the building that Dan's office is on too.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So I heard his door open, like his side door from his office open and close.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: And I heard him sprinting up the rocks. to my office, like literally like cool like, and he like, he was like, what do we need to do?

Natalie Richards: Oh, Danny. Yes.

Felicia Devine: So he comes in the bathroom. He's like cleaning up. Sarah put an out of service sign on the bathroom.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: It was like a crime scene.

Natalie Richards: and I can imagine.

Felicia Devine: They're packing up Giuseppe. Dan's like, what, how do we get you home? And I was like, we have to take one car. Like we can't take two cars because I can't drive.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: And he's like, okay, so we take my car. Just because it was closer to my office.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: Like we didn't have to go downstairs and get his. So we all jump in my car.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: Dan throws Giuseppe in the car seat. Like we got situated, we're driving home. And at this point I'm like, Danny, I couldn't have driven. Like I was in significant discomfort.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And it wasn't like I was like screaming, but I was like, I couldn't really sit still.

Natalie Richards: No.

Felicia Devine: i was like writhing around in discomfort. And at this point I'm bleeding so heavily that it's gushing up my pants. like up and out of my pants and down my side.

Felicia Devine: Like it was so much blood. So Dan's reaching into the back seat.

Natalie Richards: Oh, horrific.

Felicia Devine: He's grabbing maxi pads, ripping the backing off, and I'm shoving them down my pants to try and absorb the blood that's gushing out.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: Cause like it was an unfathomable amount.

Natalie Richards: Yes. Yes.

Felicia Devine: Now I'm going to pause the current story to mention that a couple days earlier, Dan and I had looked up what to expect. I was kind of like avoiding it.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And so it was only a couple days prior that I looked up on like this like mommy blog, what it feels like and looks like to miscarry at nine weeks.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: Because I was like kind of avoiding it because I didn't want to know.

Natalie Richards: Which is good.

Felicia Devine: But then I also was like, I should know what to expect.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And so I was reading a bunch of like personal stories of like what it felt like, what it looked like, how long it lasted,

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: the emotions behind it, like what to like gauge my perception on what is normal.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: Now, a lot of what my midwife also told me really like solidified those personal stories too. So it was like, you're going to have heavy bleeding for three to five hours.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So there were very varied stories. But they kind of all coincided with like what I was currently experiencing.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And so I was like, okay, this is normal. Like I'm passing a lot of blood, but like I'm also miscarrying.

Natalie Richards: This could be normal. Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So like this is normal.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And then I started passing clots and I was like, okay, this is normal. And I was constantly sending my midwife videos and pictures of what was happening, like contents and stuff.

Felicia Devine: And she was like, okay, keep an eye on your vitals, da, da, da, like take your blood pressure, make sure that looks good. Cause it was like, a lot of blood. And when I say a lot of blood, like I was like destroying bathrooms in our house.

Felicia Devine: Like there were blood there was blood on floors and it was like a lot.

Natalie Richards: yeah i yeah

Felicia Devine: So she was like, take your vitals, make sure everything looks good. Cause that's a lot of blood. And i was like, okay. So my blood pressure was really good. My pulse was really good. I felt okay.

Felicia Devine: All things considered, like I didn't feel any bit of like faint or dizzy or shaky.

Natalie Richards: Sure. Considering, yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like I didn't have any weird symptoms. So i text my sister-in-law because at this point it had been a couple hours and I had showered and gotten in bed and was just like watching TV. And like, I was running out of supplies.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Well, and because the bleeding didn't really stop and it had been a few hours, like, and it was continuing the same way that it was.

Felicia Devine: No.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. It was like five o'clock at this point. So I started bleeding at two 30.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: It was like rolling around to five o'clock and my husband kind of was like,

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: running a little frantic because he had to take care of me, but he also had to like get Giuseppe dinner and, and be bathed and get ready for bedtime.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So he called his parents and was like, I need you to come over and help. Cause this is like, he's taking care of two people.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I call my sister-in-law who lives next door. And I'm like, Hey, do you have any like extra pads or diapers or anything? Cause like, I'm like quickly like running out of supplies and Dan doesn't have the capacity to go anywhere.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oof. To go. No, he can't.

Felicia Devine: So she's like, I'll be right over. So she came and sat with me and we just talked and I was like still sitting up in bed and I was yapping and I was like, yeah, this is just like so interesting.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And I was like telling her like what was happening and it was just like normal.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like I was like,

Natalie Richards: You were still feeling, considering considering, okay.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: You were considering all things.

Felicia Devine: I'm yeah.

Natalie Richards: You were, oh God.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. I'm actually getting nauseous telling this story. This is fascinating. I like, don't feel good right now.

Natalie Richards: Oh, you're like having a reaction.

Felicia Devine: So yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh boy.

Felicia Devine: So I'm feeling good. And she brings over all that stuff. And then she's like, she's like, my family's coming into town right now. So I'm going to go home. They ordered dinner. They're like, do you guys want anything?

Felicia Devine: And we're like, yeah, like order us dinner. Cause we don't have time to make it. And like, yeah, like drop it off, whatever.

Natalie Richards: Yeah, that'd be great. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So she goes home and it's now 7.30, 7.45 and Giuseppe had just fallen asleep. So Dan's parents were here. bar put him, Giuseppe to bed and they're like, well, we'll take off.

Felicia Devine: And Dan's like, okay. So Dan comes and sits in our bedroom, like where I'm sitting right now. I'm in the bed that's next to us.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And we're chatting. And I'm like, Danny, it is like pretty crazy what's happening. and he's like, yeah. And I was like, no, it's like, still so heavy because he had been running around that he didn't really he wasn't realizing like the drastic amount of blood I was actually losing and I was like no no no it's like a lot and he was like okay so I go to get out of the bed because I'm like it had been 20 to 30 minutes like I was soaking through diapers and maxi pads in 20 to 30 minutes like and when I say soaking through I mean like like yeah like

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. He wasn't really realizing.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Natalie Richards: Soaking. Like, you showed me pictures. It was, like, fully saturated.

Felicia Devine: Like the pad was like expanded in all directions, like thoroughly soaked through.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So I go to sit up and stand up and I had a blanket or like a wash towel under me in the bed, just in case I leaked. And I go to stand up and I felt like a, like a big clot, like erupt out of me.

Felicia Devine: And that wasn't the first one. Like I'd been having like big, like lime and lemon sized clots coming out of me all afternoon.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Lime and lemon.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Literally like the size of the palm of your hand.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, the size of palm your hand. No, this one felt like I had just passed something the size of like a salad bowl.

Natalie Richards: Like a placenta.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, it felt very, very large.

Natalie Richards: Like a fully grown placenta. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And I was like, Danny. And he was like, what? I was like, you need to drag the towel under me. Cause I was on carpet until we get to my bathroom.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: So Dan and I are like trying to get to the bathroom and I i pull everything down.

Natalie Richards: Oh, my God. Oh.

Felicia Devine: It's flying everywhere. I mean, there's blood up the walls. There's blood. i mean, it was like, whatever, down my legs.

Natalie Richards: So bad.

Felicia Devine: And this massive clock came at me and I'm sitting on the toilet and i go, Danny, I don't feel good. And I go, I'm actually getting faint right now, Natalie.

Natalie Richards: Are you, you're like having the so the same situation?

Felicia Devine: I'm getting like, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Okay.

Natalie Richards: oh God.

Felicia Devine: So I'm like, Danny, I really don't feel good. And he's like, well, you haven't eaten. It's now 745. Like you don't have any food in you. Like I was like, I know I just like, haven't felt good.

Felicia Devine: He, I had a pair at like 430.

Natalie Richards: it Sure. Oh, no.

Felicia Devine: and he's like, he's like, let me go get you some lemonade. And I'm like, okay. So he runs downstairs, get me lemonade. By the time he gets back to me, I'm on the floor.

Natalie Richards: Oh, no.

Felicia Devine: I'm bleeding everywhere because I'm naked.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: My feet are on the toilet because I'm so unwell. Like I'm like in and out of consciousness.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: Like, I don't think I actually fainted because I still have memory of all these things, but I'm not, I'm like not well.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah. You were not okay.

Felicia Devine: Like I was fine. And then I was really unwell.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh,

Felicia Devine: And he gets back to me. I'm like laying on the ground, like not well.

Natalie Richards: my God.

Felicia Devine: And he's like, drink some lemonade. So I'm like trying to drink this lemonade. I'm like, you have to call the midwife. And he was like, okay. So he calls Allie and Allie's like, what are your symptoms? And I was like, Danny, get the blood pressure cuff.

Felicia Devine: So he goes and gets it. He's taking my blood pressure. So I had been laying on the ground for a couple of minutes by then with my feet elevated, completely horizontal.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: At that time, he took my blood pressure. It was 90 over 66. And I was like, upside down. So it was like the best it was gonna be.

Natalie Richards: Oh my, yeah.

Felicia Devine: And she goes, you need to go to the hospital immediately.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah,

Felicia Devine: And Dan and I look at each other and we're like, I think that's when we realized how serious it was that this was like getting not not better.

Natalie Richards: thought this was like really not a normal situation. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And she's like, you need to either call EMS or be out of your house in the next few minutes. And I was like, well, my brother lives next door.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: He can be here in an instant.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. Thank God.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Or else I would have had to call the ambulance and go by myself.

Natalie Richards: Or you would have had to, yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Because we can't leave the baby.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So my brother runs next door.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: I mean, he was, but he was here within three minutes and he's like, what do you need?

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Natalie Richards: Naked. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And Dan is running around and we're trying to game plan. And they finally, I'm like crawling at this point.

Natalie Richards: You're like half unconscious.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, I'm crawling because I can't even stand up.

Natalie Richards: Oh my God.

Felicia Devine: So I'm crawling until I get to the staircase. I stand up, I get down. They're like hand in hand walking me to the I'm like giving Shay directions on like, hey, if Seppi wakes up, like try and give him milk.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: He sleeps within night, but like he might not.

Natalie Richards: Right. o

Felicia Devine: And if he doesn't, like don't be a hero, like put Paw Patrol on.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: I don't care. Like he should be fine.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Whatever.

Felicia Devine: So turns out my brother like had his wife like bring over like a toothbrush and like get him like pajamas and stuff like that because he ended up staying the night.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: But they put me in the car and Dan takes me to the yeah ER. And so I'm like, okay, seated in the car, but I had just put on a new diaper and it was already like gushing and clots coming out of me.

Natalie Richards: who

Felicia Devine: And it's about like a seven minute drive to the hospital.

Natalie Richards: Oh my God.

Felicia Devine: So it's not far.

Natalie Richards: Sure. So no, but long enough.

Felicia Devine: So they get me to the hospital, or Danny gets me in the hospital.

Natalie Richards: hu

Felicia Devine: He gets a wheelchair. He literally wheels me into the front door and he was like, help.

Natalie Richards: Right. Like somebody please.

Felicia Devine: So a security guard takes me and like wheels me to the front and Dan like drives the car. He's like rushing.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like he's like, he's like driving the car to the parking garage.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And like running back and I'm checking in and they're literally checking me in like a normal person. Like they're like, okay, so like what's going on? And I told them them and I was like, I'm like rushing blood and it's been going on since 2.30.

Natalie Richards: Literally bleeding out.

Felicia Devine: Like, okay, I'm going to take you over to verify like your address and your insurance and verify your information. Okay. So they wheel me over.

Natalie Richards: Oh my god.

Felicia Devine: I'm like sitting on this wheelchair, like barely able to sit up. Right.

Natalie Richards: Oh my gosh.

Felicia Devine: Okay. We verified your stuff. Okay. Go to this vital station. They're like taking my blood pressure. And the lady's like, at this point it was like still 90 over 60.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: she's like, her eyes are like really big. and And like, they're all just like, yeah, they're all just like looking at each other.

Natalie Richards: Because she can't believe you're sitting upright.

Felicia Devine: And like Dan at this point gets there. So then he wheels me to, I don't even know what this is. I don't think this is called, maybe it's ER r triage.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: It's like a little like box, like cubicle. And this girl's like, okay, I'm here to take your information about like what's going on. And like, oh, when did you find this out? And dah, dah, dah. Okay, now we're going take some blood.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: You're going to take blood?

Natalie Richards: Are you serious?

Felicia Devine: They took blood, Natalie. Okay.

Natalie Richards: i mean, I'm not surprised, but whatever.

Felicia Devine: they took They took my blood. They drew more blood. I was like, I don't have a lot of blood to draw.

Natalie Richards: and don't have a lot to spare.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. So they draw my blood and she's like, okay, you can go wait in the waiting room. We'll call you back when we have availability.

Natalie Richards: I'm not surprised. I'm really like with our current ER r situation, i am not. If you don't have a gunshot wound to the head, you're not getting in to the head.

Felicia Devine: To the head. i know.

Natalie Richards: Literally.

Felicia Devine: I should have gone in their pantless because I was like, that would have, like, if they could see what was going on,

Natalie Richards: Literally, they would have seen. Right.

Felicia Devine: what was happening. So Dan starts to wheel me away. And he's like, where do you want me to take you? Cause like, I didn't want to sit with sick people.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: I was like, take me to that corner.

Natalie Richards: right

Felicia Devine: He starts wheeling me. And I'm like, Danny. And I just lights out, pass out.

Natalie Richards: Passed out. Oh, no.

Felicia Devine: I'm unconscious. Dan's holding my face. He's Felicia, Felicia, Felicia, wake up.

Natalie Richards: oh Oh, my word.

Felicia Devine: He's shaking, Felicia. And I'm like, I'm like starting to come to know. And he's like running me back in the wheelchair to the lady. And he's like, she's unconscious.

Natalie Richards: Oh, my gosh.

Felicia Devine: So she takes me, she takes my wheelchair, the triage lady.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And they start wheeling me. They take me right back. They start stripping me naked.

Natalie Richards: Wow. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: They were treating me like an actual emergency. Thank God.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. No kidding.

Felicia Devine: My body was like, you're not going to take me back.

Natalie Richards: Because it was at that point. Literally.

Felicia Devine: No, I think I was like, you know, I think I was like, you have to go wait.

Natalie Richards: I'll show you.

Felicia Devine: I think I knew it wasn't going to

Natalie Richards: Yeah, it wasn't good.

Felicia Devine: yeah, I'm being stripped of all my things.

Natalie Richards: Jeepers.

Felicia Devine: I get two IVs. They're like doing all these things. They're like taking all my vitals. The yeah ER doctor comes. I mean, it was like very hectic.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: I was like, you were green.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Felicia Devine: I was so unwell. So they're like, what's going on? And I tell them and they're like, okay. And I was like, yeah, I feel like I've lost a gallon of blood. And the guy kind of chuckles at me and he's like,

Natalie Richards: It was probably more than a gallon.

Felicia Devine: He goes, no, there's no way you could have lost a gallon of blood. You're only given like a couple of gallons. Like, you know, yeah that that can't be possible. I'm like, okay, I literally am not dumb.

Felicia Devine: But the amount of contents that was leaving my body hours since 230, and it's now like 30.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. for hours

Felicia Devine: And so they're like, well, we have to do a manual exam, da, da, da. Oh, wow, that's a lot of blood. I'm like, yeah, I told you that. So then they were like, well, we'll call OB in. And I'm like, okay, I guess you can call OB in.

Felicia Devine: And they call OB in. So then OB comes and they're like, oh, I'm this person. i have to check your bleeding. okay, how many people have to check that I'm bleeding?

Natalie Richards: Holy hell.

Felicia Devine: I'm bleeding heavily. Then I'm like, I really don't want a resident performing any of these like next steps.

Natalie Richards: Right, right.

Felicia Devine: Like I have a lot of trauma in my past. I had a resident stitch me up the first time and it went really poorly and I didn't advocate for myself. So like I'm advocating for myself in this moment.

Natalie Richards: Good.

Felicia Devine: being And then she looks at me, she's like, well, I'm the resident. And I was like, you should have led with that. deceived because literally was like, when everybody leaves the room, can I talk to you for a moment privately?

Natalie Richards: you

Felicia Devine: And then I explained all this stuff to her and she waited for me to finish.

Natalie Richards: All of it.

Felicia Devine: And then she was like, I'm the resident. And I was like, oh, embarrassing.

Natalie Richards: Oh, well, whatever.

Felicia Devine: So she's like, I'll let the attending know. And I said, thanks.

Natalie Richards: Good.

Felicia Devine: So the attending comes in. Meanwhile, I found this really disheartening. I could hear the two resident girls giggling and laughing outside my room multiple times during the situation.

Natalie Richards: Ugh.

Felicia Devine: Not exaggerating.

Natalie Richards: Are you serious?

Felicia Devine: And I, after this was all said and done, I went for my post check a week later.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: I told the attending. I said, i don't, I don't think that was appropriate.

Natalie Richards: Good.

Felicia Devine: I don't think those girls were suited to care for me in that moment. They were giggling, they were laughing.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: They were, at one point, one of them had to apologize to Dan and i in the moment because she was so rude to us.

Natalie Richards: Really?

Natalie Richards: What?

Felicia Devine: Yeah, it was bad. So we explain our story. We're like, we're having a miscarriage. I've been bleeding heavily for this long. She's like, well, the next step is a DNC. And like, that is what we're recommending.

Felicia Devine: And Dan and I are like, absolutely. Like, we totally agree.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: Like if this bleeding isn't stopping, then like clearly something's wrong.

Natalie Richards: Right. Then, yeah, clearly.

Felicia Devine: We're like, we're agreeing. And she's like, well, we're just taking your midwife's word for it. We have to just take the word of your midwife. We're taking your midwife's word and yelling at us. And Dan and I are like, what are they taking?

Natalie Richards: What?

Felicia Devine: Cause it my midwife pulled ahead and said, my patient is coming in.

Natalie Richards: Word for what? Okay.

Felicia Devine: She had a miscarriage. It was diagnosed on ultrasound. da da da but

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So she's saying, we're just taking your midwife's word for it. And we're like, what is she taking the word of?

Natalie Richards: What do you mean that they weren't going to do a confirmatory ultrasound?

Felicia Devine: Well,

Natalie Richards: Is that what she was talking about?

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Basically, like, because you're coming in with an already done ultrasound, but we haven't seen it, we're taking your midwife's word that there's no viable baby.

Natalie Richards: They don't believe you. Okay.

Felicia Devine: And if you sign this form, like we're taking everyone's word for it. Like if we go in there, you can't like not like once we go in and evacuate content, if there's a viable baby, like we're in trouble.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Natalie Richards: Sure. see. Okay.

Felicia Devine: And so she was like, we're taking her word for You have sign here. We're taking her word for it. And eventual she came back in the room and was like, I'm very sorry for how that went down. Like, we'll bring in an ultrasound and confirm.

Felicia Devine: I'm like, yeah, like I'm laying here doing nothing.

Natalie Richards: Do whatever you need to do.

Felicia Devine: Come take an ultrasound.

Natalie Richards: This is the ER. r

Felicia Devine: Yeah. I'm like, you have all the tools and I have nowhere to go.

Natalie Richards: What? This is so weird.

Felicia Devine: yeah It was really weird. So eventually she comes in an ultrasound.

Natalie Richards: They just don't like midwives. They don't like anything that has to do with an external whatever.

Felicia Devine: Yes, no. And they're like, we're taking her word for it.

Natalie Richards: Anyway.

Felicia Devine: I was like, I have like, like, it wasn't like my midwife did like bedside.

Natalie Richards: We went to an MFM. Okay.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. I was like, I went to the MFM and like saw a doctor and like everybody confirmed it. My poor midwife was caught in the crosshairs of this.

Natalie Richards: Go talk to the MFM.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. So they're like, okay, we'll come and we'll do a confirmatory ultrasound. So they did.

Natalie Richards: Wow.

Felicia Devine: And they're like, yeah, like you need a DNC. And I was like, I know.

Natalie Richards: Okay, thank you.

Felicia Devine: Okay, let's move this along. Well, apparently at night in the ER, they only open one OR and only have one OR team. Okay. And they're like, well, we just took back an orthopedic case.

Natalie Richards: Oh my, in the middle of the night.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, it was 10 o'clock.

Natalie Richards: Interesting.

Felicia Devine: They're like, we just took back an orthopedic case. What?

Natalie Richards: Oh my.

Felicia Devine: So my OB, that was amazing. Thank God it was him.

Natalie Richards: Good.

Felicia Devine: This guy came in like the attending who i ended up loving because he was so on top of it. He was so empathetic.

Natalie Richards: Great.

Felicia Devine: He was so, this is a big deal, which everyone else seemed to be like, like like lethargic about it.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: And it wasn't a big deal because they're in an er r

Felicia Devine: Yeah. And I'm like, Like my vitals are stable, but they're also pumping me full of fluid right now.

Natalie Richards: Fuck, no kidding.

Felicia Devine: But I'm still bleeding like extreme. I was ruining Chuck's pads.

Natalie Richards: Wow.

Felicia Devine: and And they're pulling cloths out of me, like in the ER.

Natalie Richards: Yes, yes, yes.

Felicia Devine: code So my attending OB was like, this is a big deal. And he told me this after the fact, but I didn't know this at the time. He was going around like yelling at people in the ER, being like, if this was a gunshot wound, what would you do?

Natalie Richards: To like, no kidding.

Felicia Devine: And they're like, we would open another OR.

Natalie Richards: No kidding.

Felicia Devine: He's like, then do it.

Natalie Richards: Because this is life or death.

Felicia Devine: So-

Natalie Richards: It is at that point.

Felicia Devine: And I was very unwell.

Natalie Richards: Literally. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And so apparently they called in an an emergency team. Like they brought in another team for me.

Natalie Richards: Wow. Wow.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. And they opened another OR.

Natalie Richards: As they should.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Mind you, it still took a while.

Natalie Richards: Sure.

Felicia Devine: So meanwhile, I'm signing all this paperwork that says I'll get a blood transfusion.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: signing paperwork for this medication and it's like this life-saving medication for like bleeding so they give it to you if you get like a gunshot wound or you have internal bleeding that's undiagnosed or hemorrhaging whatever so I'm like signing paperwork for that and they're like yeah like the risks of a blood transfusion are like AIDS or hep B like are you cool with that

Natalie Richards: hu

Natalie Richards: Sure. Sure.

Natalie Richards: Yeah, and any other thing that that person has in their blood. Amazing.

Felicia Devine: literally I was like

Natalie Richards: Great. Thank you.

Felicia Devine: Okay. And they're like, we triple check.

Natalie Richards: What do you do at that point?

Felicia Devine: No, I know. And I was like, there isn't an option to not get it. And they're like, yeah, well like you need it.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And I was like, okay, then like bring it to me right now. like

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Everything was like kind of like taken a lot longer than it needed to be.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: one point they're like ordering all this stuff they're like here you need to do this and I I'm like Dan yeah I'm like tanking again like at one point I was like stable and then I started tanking again and I was like I was like pushing my button and Dan's like are you I'm like nope this is the yeah like I literally was like this is it this is it I was like not feeling well he was like you went green again like he didn't in a moment but like I started to tank really badly and I was fully laying horizontal and I was like

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Oh, boy.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh my.

Felicia Devine: not good.

Natalie Richards: Oh

Felicia Devine: So they come in and they're like, all right, let's get you to the, the OR now. They like rush in. They're like, okay, let's go. So they're like talking on the radios. They're like, where's this medication going? Where's the blood? Like, I sent it to the OR. No, I sent it to the ER. Like they couldn't figure, they couldn't find where my medicine was.

Natalie Richards: my God.

Felicia Devine: Dan was like, are they serious? Like, they don't know where it went. Like order it again.

Natalie Richards: Oh my

Felicia Devine: And I'm looking at my surgeon and I'm like, I'm going to die. And he's like, no, no, no, you're fine. I'm like, no, I'm dying. I'm currently dying.

Natalie Richards: God. You felt like you were going.

Felicia Devine: Yes.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I it was like, I feel like I'm going to poop myself. And he was like, no, that's just the pressure. I'm like, no, no, no. Like I'm dying. Like, that's what happens when you die. You poop yourself. Like, I was like, I was like, I'm like, not well.

Natalie Richards: Oh my gosh. You were fully convinced you were nearly dead.

Felicia Devine: i'm like not well

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. So they get me to the ER or the OR and like my, so my team comes up to me and they're like asking me questions again. I'm like, I already signed that paper. Like, I'm literally like, they're like, okay, so do you consent to having a blood transfusion?

Felicia Devine: I was like, I signed two of those back in the ER.

Natalie Richards: Wow.

Felicia Devine: Stop asking. Then they're like, oh, we see that you're wearing like jewelry. Do you think you could take that off for us?

Natalie Richards: I don't think they really understood.

Felicia Devine: Lady, I've been in the yeah ER for three hours. Why couldn't you take this off my fingers and my earrings out and my necklace off when I was in the ER?

Natalie Richards: gosh.

Felicia Devine: r You're waiting for me

Natalie Richards: And again, what would they have done if you were, again, a gunshot wound?

Felicia Devine: Right. They would have taken it off for me.

Natalie Richards: Yes, they would have cut it off of you.

Felicia Devine: Well, they put these massive gauge IVs in me. I couldn't even bend my arms.

Natalie Richards: my.

Felicia Devine: So I'm like, I can't take them off. So like they're trying to like wiggle my rings off.

Natalie Richards: oh my

Felicia Devine: And eventually I just like bend my arms and I rip my rings off because I'm like, someone's got to do it. like Everyone's being so dainty. I'm like...

Natalie Richards: like

Felicia Devine: I'm like prevailing through like nearly dying and everyone's just like, oh, did you think you could do this for me? I'm like ripping my rings off and Dan's like standing there like, is this all happening?

Felicia Devine: Like Dan was kind of in a state of shock and he's like holding everything.

Natalie Richards: Oh, Danny. Yeah, I'm sure.

Felicia Devine: Cause like I'm naked. They had given him like all my stuff and he has like a backpack of things.

Natalie Richards: yeah Oh, my gosh.

Felicia Devine: And like, we're standing outside of the OR. r So Dan's like, are they letting me in the OR? Like no one had told Dan not to be there.

Natalie Richards: Where did he was just still there?

Felicia Devine: Dan's like, I'm just going to stand here until they like tell me not to be here.

Natalie Richards: He was just hanging.

Felicia Devine: And they were like, okay, dad, like you can leave now.

Natalie Richards: Totally.

Felicia Devine: do you have anything to say? And Dan felt so shocked and on the spot that he he literally looks at me.

Natalie Richards: Oh, goodness.

Felicia Devine: He's like, you got this girl.

Felicia Devine: He told me. i didn't I didn't know he said that. I was like, not with it.

Natalie Richards: oh my god my god

Felicia Devine: He told me this in hindsight. And he was like, I felt so embarrassed that I said that because...

Natalie Richards: oh my god that's all right god thank god you did

Felicia Devine: Like it wasn't very like romantic or like, he was like, you got this girl. They were probably like, are you married?

Natalie Richards: thank got you

Felicia Devine: So they wheeled me into the OR. And at this point they were like, I was under the guise that this procedure was going to be done under what's called max sedation.

Felicia Devine: And max sedation is twilight.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So you're not fully intubated and asleep where they have a like stabilized breath. Like they don't have a stabilized airway for you.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Felicia Devine: You're just like lightly sedated. And i'm like, okay. And they're like, yeah, like the other option, like it could be to you being intubated and like under general.

Natalie Richards: Totally. I'm

Felicia Devine: And like that is an option, but like the the procedure is meant to be done under the mass station.

Natalie Richards: going to try not to. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. funny enough, my anesthesiologist was the same one I had when I had my surgery in October to get my repair.

Natalie Richards: For your, oh my goodness.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. So I remembered him.

Natalie Richards: Wow.

Felicia Devine: So they get me into the e the OR and those silly resident girls are still giggling and laughing and being so inappropriate.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Like not matching the energy of.

Felicia Devine: I couldn't even believe it. Like they're in the corner like, oh yeah, I should have worn the Zipa putty today.

Natalie Richards: oh

Felicia Devine: And like, that's what I'm having to listen to when I'm like fighting for my life and also losing a pregnancy. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh, yeah.

Felicia Devine: And that's what I told the the attending. I said, this was so inappropriate.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And he was like, honestly, thank you for telling me. Like, that must have been hard for you to experience.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Good.

Felicia Devine: So they're like, i'm on the like wheelie bed that they wheeled me there in. And then they have to put me under the OR bed. And they're like, do you think you could like go on, move yourself to the other bed?

Natalie Richards: This is so interesting.

Felicia Devine: What? I'm like so like unwell, not with it. I again, can't bend my arms. Who doesn't understand that? They're the ones that did it to me. I'm like, no. And they're like, okay.

Felicia Devine: They're like, well, we're going to have to get a board and pull her onto the other bed. I'm like, yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh, goodness.

Felicia Devine: So they roll me, get a board on me, pull me to the bed. Then they put you in that like crucifying position where they strap your arms down so they can do your IVs and your medications. They start putting boots on me.

Felicia Devine: Like they're doing the whole thing. I'm still awake at this point.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And the anesthesiologist comes over and I have a lady at my head, like a nurse. And she's like, it's okay me like oh what happened to your head?

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: I'm like, what do you mean what happened in my head?

Natalie Richards: My head.

Felicia Devine: I had those giant stitches in it. She's like, did you fall? I was like, no, like-

Natalie Richards: Oh my God. Oh, that's right. You had the the mole removal stitches still.

Felicia Devine: Like it's a mole. The mole is haunting me. So she's like, okay. So she's like petting my head and like soothing me. She's like, it's okay. Like you're going to be asleep soon. Like, don't worry. She puts the mask over me. She's like, take deep breaths. Well, I'm laying like with my arms out and My biggest fear going into it that was going to be that I was going to feel what they were doing because they were like, you're under like max sedation.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like, but I was like, but am I going to remember it? Am I going to feel it And they're like, no no, no, no, no.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I was like, you have to be so gentle, even though I'm asleep, please be so gentle. You have to be so gentle.

Natalie Richards: Sure.

Felicia Devine: I have so much trauma.

Natalie Richards: Sure, sure, sure.

Felicia Devine: Oh, be gentle.

Natalie Richards: Oh, God.

Felicia Devine: So I'm laying there and my hands are out and they're starting my IVs and I feel myself going into twilight. but I'm actively fighting it for some reason.

Natalie Richards: You weren't letting yourself. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I'm like flailing around on this table, wiggling my arms. I'm like telling them, like I'm still awake, I'm still awake. like Don't do anything yet, like I'm still awake. Well, sure enough, I go to sleep and I wake up.

Felicia Devine: They knocked me out. they They intubated me.

Natalie Richards: Okay. Okay.

Felicia Devine: Now, I still don't know.

Natalie Richards: Oh my.

Felicia Devine: I still don't know the full reason. of why they did general and knocked me unconscious and intubated me because the surgeon was like, that's not my call.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: That's the anesthesiologist.

Natalie Richards: It is. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I don't know if he was panicked that I was still like flopping around like a fish. now He's probably not panicked, but he was probably like, this is not going well.

Natalie Richards: Probably.

Natalie Richards: No.

Felicia Devine: So he knocked me out.

Natalie Richards: I don't know if I, yeah, I don't think that would have worked for me either.

Felicia Devine: I also don't know if that's based on like the severity of what was happening and like my vitals not being good that they were like, we need a stable airway.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So anyway, it was really a very traumatic surgery. They ended up doing, they didn't have to dilate me. i was four centimeters dilated. They didn't have to dilate me, which was nice, but they did have to do four passes to remove contents, which is like a lot of passes.

Natalie Richards: That is good.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That is a lot.

Felicia Devine: And they removed like a lot of tissue.

Natalie Richards: A lot of clots, a lot of tissue. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Ooh.

Felicia Devine: I wake up.

Natalie Richards: That's a big recovery.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. So I wake up in recovery and I'm like, oh, my throat hurts so bad.

Natalie Richards: Well, you were intubated.

Felicia Devine: I was like, I was like, what happened to my throat?

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And they're like, they had to intubate you. And I'm like, oh my God. So I'm like begging for ice chips and I'm like chewing on ice chips. cause my throat was just raging. And I was like, when can I see my husband?

Natalie Richards: Oh

Felicia Devine: And they're like, you have to wait an hour and wait to do blood work. So they just take more blood.

Natalie Richards: my God.

Felicia Devine: I'm like, quit taking my blood. yeah.

Natalie Richards: What?

Felicia Devine: And then after they do my hour blood work and send it for testing, when that comes back, then they can get Dan. Cause if it was like bad, I don't know what would happen.

Natalie Richards: Sure. Sure.

Felicia Devine: But anyway, they, they did my blood work, came back.

Natalie Richards: Sure.

Felicia Devine: My vitals were staying stable and Danny came back to see me. And he was just like, what happened? Like he was just like kind of left in the dark.

Natalie Richards: My gosh.

Felicia Devine: The surgeon came out was like, yeah, she like did as expected. Like, I got everything and like, she's in recovery.

Natalie Richards: Sure.

Felicia Devine: But Dan was like, yeah.

Natalie Richards: But he didn't know that you were like intubated and had like general anesthesia.

Felicia Devine: Well, I guess the surgeon had something, had said something to Dan about full sedation and intubation, but Dan didn't like even think to ask questions.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like, cause Dan and I had so many questions, but no answers.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like they checked us out of the hospital after like my vitals were stable for a while. And like we went home.

Natalie Richards: Oh my god Yeah. Like, what do we you do now?

Felicia Devine: So yeah.

Natalie Richards: How are you okay? How do you get blood? How do you get...

Felicia Devine: It was crazy. So we the got home at like 4 a.m.

Natalie Richards: Oh my gosh.

Natalie Richards: Wow.

Felicia Devine: and we walk in and like my brother's like rocking Seppy back to sleep after his multiple hour stint of Paw Patrol, which was a great call because if we got home and Seppy was still in our room, i think that would have been really good on everybody.

Natalie Richards: Oh.

Natalie Richards: Oh my God. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: But Seppy had woken up in the middle of the night at like 1 a.m., m which is almost exactly when I went in for surgery.

Natalie Richards: He would have been wanting when you went. Oh, yeah.

Felicia Devine: and he was yelling no mommy.

Natalie Richards: oh

Felicia Devine: And my brother was like terrified because he didn't have any answers.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And

Natalie Richards: But Seppi knew you weren't there and he knew something was happening.

Felicia Devine: he know and he did the exact same thing when Danny went to the hospital. He woke up in the middle of the night when Dan was in the hospital and was yelling no daddy.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh, my.

Felicia Devine: And he was up all night that night for me, which he hadn't.

Natalie Richards: Oh, my. He just knows. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So we get home at like 4 My brother's rocking Seppy back to sleep. I get in the shower and then Dan has to clean up all this mess. I mean, we left like everything on the floor in the bathroom.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: A crime scene.

Felicia Devine: like It was walls, clots on the floor.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: was bad. Like he was throwing stuff away that was ruined.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And my brother comes out of the room and we kind of like brief him on like, I'm going to be okay, but like it was not good.

Natalie Richards: It was not good.

Felicia Devine: and my brother goes home and we like try and fall asleep. And Dan and I are like traumatized, fully traumatized.

Felicia Devine: Like the amount of like fear I had about me dying And Dan too.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. yeah yeah

Felicia Devine: Like that could have gone so differently. And like Dan could have been planning my funeral and like Seppi would be without a mom.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And like, it was so close to not being okay.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And we like wake up in the morning and I feel like, I would say I feel decent.

Natalie Richards: Sure.

Felicia Devine: All things considered, truthfully, i felt way better than I was expecting.

Natalie Richards: All things considered.

Felicia Devine: So I wake up in the morning and I'm like, wow, that was really scary. I didn't sleep at all, obviously. But like, I don't feel terrible.

Natalie Richards: And thank goodness your body was strong before, right?

Felicia Devine: Literally, can you imagine if I wasn't doing all the things I was doing to like build my blood and have good iron and like all that stuff? Like, yeah, I was in.

Natalie Richards: You would not have been good.

Felicia Devine: ye So Friday I felt like, okay, because I was pumped with so much volume in the sense of like IVs.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Like I had so many bags of fluid. I had a blood transfusion. Like I had a lot going for me.

Natalie Richards: That's true. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Saturday hits, not well.

Natalie Richards: Oh God. Oh no.

Felicia Devine: All of that IV fluid, recirculated into my kid. Like I peed it all out.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: My blood volume dropped so much.

Natalie Richards: And you were in active healing phase.

Felicia Devine: And I was so unwell.

Natalie Richards: Oh no. So your blood pressure dropped again?

Felicia Devine: was just so, yeah And I was just so weak.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Ugh.

Felicia Devine: and that morning we had to go to a baby shower.

Natalie Richards: Why?

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Did you went?

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Oh, Felicia.

Felicia Devine: hey but I had to, I couldn't miss this one.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: You know who it was for.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: So, so we wake up and I'm like, I can do hard things. I've always done hard things.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: I can do hard things. luckily, like we weren't required to like do anything for the shower. Fortunately, we like kind of were off the hook there because of what was transpiring Thursday.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: They like assumed we weren't going be much help.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Right.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: So we just kind of show up for the shower and I'm like, I'm so unwell. Like I was like headed, i was faint. Like I was like, Danny, I need to sit. So we're sitting, he's like getting me crackers and a ginger ale.

Felicia Devine: Like I'm like trying to like stay awake.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh.

Felicia Devine: and then all the guests start arriving. Every single girl that was there was pregnant.

Felicia Devine: Like all of the guests were pregnant, vi like very pregnant.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Oh, very pregnant. Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I didn't think I was having a hard time until I was having a hard time.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I was like, I went from being okay into a full on like, I don't want to say like hysteria, but kind of.

Natalie Richards: Sobbing.

Felicia Devine: And I was just like sobbing.

Natalie Richards: Like, so sad. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: I just like grabbed Danny's hand and like, we like escaped and we went outside and I got some fresh air and he was like, we will leave right now if you need to leave. And like, they would not have been upset if we left.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. No.

Felicia Devine: 100% understanding, but I felt like I wanted to be there and I wanted to support them. And I wanted to like, like, and at this point, no one at the party knew except for our families.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And so I was like, Oh God, this is just like so hard. Like everybody that was there thought I was pregnant currently like no one.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. And you didn't probably feel like talking about it.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like, oh my God, people are going to ask me about my pregnancy. I think what had happened, i didn't ask because I don't really need to know. But I think when I left the room, I think somebody must have started spreading the word because no one asked me why I was crying.

Natalie Richards: Sure. Just don't mention anything.

Felicia Devine: No one asked me about my current pregnancy.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: one, like, I think everyone knew, but I don't know how.

Natalie Richards: Which is good.

Felicia Devine: I'm sure they were just like, don't ask or, yeah I don't know.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: It doesn't matter.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: But no one asked me except my father-in-law was like, how are you holding up?

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: And again, hold on broke into tears had to leave the room but then after that I ended up being okay I could like have normal conversation with people and it was like fine but i was just like really unwell and that was Saturday and then

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: You had so much to recover from physically, emotionally, trauma revisited.

Felicia Devine: yeah yeah

Natalie Richards: Your body was feeling revisited trauma from all of your other stuff that you've had.

Felicia Devine: you know

Felicia Devine: yeah and it just felt so violating because every time in the hospital, they were like, oh, we need to do a check.

Natalie Richards: That's so complicated.

Felicia Devine: I'm like, you already did a check and I have so much trauma. I have scar tissue.

Natalie Richards: Seriously.

Felicia Devine: like when they were doing it, it hurt so bad.

Felicia Devine: And I didn't want them to do it, even though I knew they had to.

Natalie Richards: no

Felicia Devine: It was just like, there were so many things that I was just like so annoyed about.

Natalie Richards: i know. But like did they have to do that 20 times?

Felicia Devine: No, no.

Natalie Richards: no

Felicia Devine: But it was like the resident had to do it. And then this resident had to do it. And then this yeah ER doctor had to do it.

Natalie Richards: and Whatever. I think that's a bunch of bull.

Felicia Devine: I know. It was really frustrating.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So yeah. And then I had my my post-op scheduled. Now it's been a very long story already. So should we go into that?

Natalie Richards: That's okay.

Felicia Devine: Are

Natalie Richards: i We can. Yeah. And we can. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: you sure?

Natalie Richards: Unless you want to split it.

Felicia Devine: There's like, can I think we should split it because

Natalie Richards: Yeah, we can split it. Because we want to dive, go into the details of everything else too.

Felicia Devine: I want to go into the details of it and there's so much science behind it that like maybe we should, yeah, why everything happened.

Natalie Richards: Of why. yeah There's a lot of reasons why it happened this way.

Felicia Devine: Yeah, and like why it was so bloody and why it was so not letting go and like that kind of stuff.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: I think that deserves like a lot more detail.

Natalie Richards: More explanation. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: But like, it was supposed to be just like a normal at home miscarriage. Like that was the plan.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: That was how we like were managing it.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: And it ended up that like, I wasn't passing the contents of the pregnancy and like my body wasn't letting it go.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: And I was so heavily.

Natalie Richards: For some reason.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: And so that's why I needed medical intervention. But it wasn't that like Dan and I were being negligent.

Natalie Richards: Right.

Felicia Devine: It wasn't that my midwife was being negligent. It wasn't that anybody did anything wrong.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: It really was like a missed scenario that no one was prepared for.

Natalie Richards: Yes.

Felicia Devine: That was like really putting a wrinkle in how it was progressing normally.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: So yeah, well-

Natalie Richards: So there is a reason for all of this and we will get into that.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. We love a cliffhanger on this podcast.

Natalie Richards: Sorry for the cliffhanger again. But yeah, i think that I think that does deserve a little bit of a deeper explanation.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the next episode.

Natalie Richards: But that's an insane story. I'm happy that you were... First of all, i was not... We have not talked about this stuff at all.

Felicia Devine: I haven't told you about it. Mm-mm.

Natalie Richards: No. Like you texted me like, oh my gosh, I almost died. I was passing clots. Like that's insane.

Felicia Devine: Mm-mm.

Natalie Richards: But like to hear the whole story is really...

Felicia Devine: Mm-mm.

Natalie Richards: It's really upsetting.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: And you literally are lucky to be here, truthfully.

Felicia Devine: We, yeah.

Natalie Richards: There could have been a tiny blip in a lot of different a lot of different parts there and you would have not been here today.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Cause we were,

Felicia Devine: right. Yeah. Like a lot of pieces went right, but a lot of things went wrong.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Felicia Devine: we got my report, my post-surgical report back the next day on my, like my chart. And we yeah were able to extrapolate how much blood I lost based on the blood loss during surgery that they like quantified.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Sure. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Really, they should have been counting the blood loss in the ER and they weren't.

Natalie Richards: the pad Well, they should have asked you how many pads you went through because you can usually you can usually like guess ounces.

Felicia Devine: Oh, it was astronomical.

Felicia Devine: The volume.

Natalie Richards: but Yeah, you can usually guess ounces by how many pads, and that's how OBs usually keep track of that stuff.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: So they really needed to ask you those questions.

Felicia Devine: So. No one quantified the volume of blood loss in the yeah ER or anything like that, but they did quantify the blood loss in the OR during the surgery.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And based on that quantification, which is still like not even 100% accurate because they're stopping bleeding.

Natalie Richards: oh

Felicia Devine: So in the duration of the surgery, they're stopping the bleeding, but we were able to extrapolate that and multiply it by the hours of time I was bleeding. And it was like over two liters of blood, which is...

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: a giant two liter soda, like you're only given four liters of blood, like four to four and a half.

Natalie Richards: Right. you lost You lost half of your blood volume.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. So four and a four and a half, like liters of blood in your body.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And,

Natalie Richards: Which thankfully our bodies can keep creating it, but you still, yeah.

Felicia Devine: but your odds of survival. So like the odds of survival go down so drastically at that 40 to 50% mark of blood loss.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And I think I was onto something when I was laying outside that OR being like, I think I'm dying.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. You needed that blood transfusion.

Felicia Devine: was like, I needed it immediately.

Natalie Richards: Otherwise you would have, you would have died.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: And they had to stop the source of bleeding. So there was a lot of PTSD associated with the almost dying part.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: I wasn't as traumatized by losing the pregnancy.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Felicia Devine: I was more traumatized by almost dying.

Natalie Richards: It was the experience. Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: And I think Dan was too, like for nights and night nights on end, like we couldn't sleep at all.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: like wide awake traumatized. Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm. You're going to be dealing with that for a long time. We need to do some serious work.

Felicia Devine: Yeah. Trauma therapy.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So like I said, like there was no negligence in the story as far as like how things ended up transpiring, but like there were a lot of missed pieces and it just is unfortunate that like some people go through this and end up not making it.

Natalie Richards: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: Yeah. Because it can happen.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: Like I said, I told Natalie before we started this, I was like, the story's really long.

Natalie Richards: Yep.

Felicia Devine: She's like, oh, I think you'll be fine.

Natalie Richards: No, it is long.

Felicia Devine: like, no, the story is so long.

Natalie Richards: Really long.

Felicia Devine: And that's not, that's just to the miscarriage part and like the surgery part.

Natalie Richards: Yep. To the DNC.

Felicia Devine: There's a lot that happens after the fact.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Felicia Devine: So yeah, we'll share that at the next episode.

Natalie Richards: Mm-hmm.

Natalie Richards: Okay.

Felicia Devine: All right. Thanks for listening.

Natalie Richards: I'm excited to talk about it.

Felicia Devine: Yeah.

Natalie Richards: bye

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