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Episode 34: Ready to Rumble
32 Plays4 years ago
In early 2000, losing money and fans by the boatload, WCW decided they were so popular it was time to release a movie! Enter "Ready to Rumble," which is such a cinematic masterpiece that Michael Buffer would be justified suing for defamation of character just for having his catchphrase associated with it. Thrill to the cinematic exploits of your favorite WCW performers, like DDP, Goldberg, Perry Saturn (no longer employed by WCW at this point), and...Jimmy King? Who the heck is Jimmy King? Oh, and you'll love watching fans just like you on screen for the first time, treated with all the dignity and respect you deserve and certainly not at all portrayed as absolute idiots who are dangers to themselves and others. Are we really sure an actual pro wrestling company was involved in this thing? For all this and more...let's go to the ring!
Music by Michael Gary Brewer at https://www.instantmusicnow.com/
Follow us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/letsgo2thering , or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LetsGo2theRing/
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Transcript
The Pandemic and Its Impacts
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everyone, it's Bob. For the past year and a half, COVID-19 has ravaged the world. We have the tools to control it. We have the tools to end it. The end is within reach, but only if we're willing. Only if we stretch out our arms and take the opportunity that has been given to us.
00:00:29
Speaker
So please wear a mask, get vaccinated. Let's end this pandemic. We can do this together.
Introducing 'Let's Go to the Ring' Podcast
00:01:12
Speaker
Hello everyone, and welcome to Let's Go to the Ring, where we take a look at the good old days, and not so good old days, of World Championship Wrestling, series by series. I'm your host, Bob Moore, and I'm joined by the man I just nefariously defeated to retain my role as lead host of Let's Go to the Ring, Alec Pridgen. Don't worry, don't hold it against you. I do the same thing to you. Not suffering too much under my iron fist, I hope. No, no, it's enough wiggle room for me, it's okay. Okay.
'Ready to Rumble': Financial Implications?
00:01:40
Speaker
Well, tonight, for the first time, we're taking a look at a wrestling movie. What? WCW's 2000 masterpiece, Ready to Rumble. I wonder how much they had to pay Buffer to name the movie after his catchphrase. I think they probably paid him a certain amount before, and then he demanded more money after he saw the movie. I sure would. I'm like, you know what? You gotta hit me double. I've seen this thing. Reputational damage, huh? Exactly, yeah.
00:02:07
Speaker
Ready to Rumble released April 7th, 2000. It was made with a budget of $24 million, but it ended up making $12.5 million at the box office. It's rare to see Debbie Seppi lose money like that. They're at least consistent. They lose money both in wrestling and in filmmaking. Yes, exactly. I mean, I guess at least they made it above half. Yeah, that's something I suppose. Barely.
00:02:33
Speaker
Oops, what's this? I see Eric Bischoff just came down to the ring and did he just declare Al the winner of our match? Since when does he have that authority? Oh well, I guess that means you're lead host for this one, Al. All right, no pressure. So before we get into the movie, I have some background stuff on the people involved that may be interesting to hear.
Director Brian Robbins' Influence
00:02:55
Speaker
The movie was directed by Brian Robbins. He's the director of such classic films as Good Burger. Oh, gal. As well as Varsity Blues. Before following up this movie with 2006's The Shaggy Dog. Huh. He followed that up with 2007's Norbit. Haven't even heard of that. That's the movie that seemed to have caused Eddie Murphy's Oscar. Basically, Eddie Murphy was in an apparently really good movie called Dreamgirls. Okay. He was up for Best Sporting Actor for it.
00:03:23
Speaker
And then the other studio is like, hey, we have a sci-fi movie. Let's release that in theaters. It's called Norbit in which he is a put upon nerdy character, which he of course plays, has a over the top fat lady girlfriend who he also plays. Okay. It's basically the original Jack and Jill. I think people were thinking, hey, this guy's a pretty good actor. Then they saw Norbit like, I don't know about that.
00:03:48
Speaker
That's not entirely fair. I mean, they're two separate films. Yeah. I think it soured people on him. He also did 2008's Meet Dave, also with Eddie Murphy. So Eddie Murphy did not learn his lesson, is what you're telling me? No. Okay. And in fact, in his last movie is a movie called A Thousand Words, which he shot in 2008, also with Eddie Murphy.
00:04:09
Speaker
Bo was released in 2012. I don't know why I assigned himself for four years, but apparently it did. Okay. On the TV front, he directed such shows as Kenan and Kel, Supa Ninjas, and spelled S-U-P-A-H, for the record. That's not me with a list. Suddenly, that's how it's spelled. He also directed the pilot episode of Birds of Prey. Interesting. He is currently the head of Nickelodeon. How many of those TV things was Eddie Murphy in? Because it sounds like he kind of has a thing for him.
00:04:37
Speaker
Uh, none that I could see. Oh, missing the trick there. Yes.
Stephen Brill and Adam Sandler Collaborations
00:04:43
Speaker
It was written by a man named Stephen Brill. He has a number of writing and directing credits. He actually has some better writing credits at least. He wrote all three My Ducks movies. Okay. A film called Heavyweights with Ben Stiller, but kids at a fat camp. Hence the pun title. Okay.
00:04:59
Speaker
and Lil Nicky, which he also directed. There was no escaping the name for that when he'd write and direct the movie. Yeah, yeah. His star du jour was Adam Sandler. He directed Mr. Deeds, as well as a number of his recent movies, his Netflix ones like Hubie Halloween and the Duo Hour. Okay. He also directed the film Without a Paddle, a comedy that intentionally evokes imagery from Deliverance, so that's a
00:05:24
Speaker
That's a thing. Yeah. So he was not involved in Happy Gilmore, the only good Adam Sandler movie. Now that I can see it now. Okay. Can't give him a bit of credit for that. I don't think he did Ridiculous Six, which at least is a plus form, but he did enough bad Adam Sandler stuff. Or at least if he Adam Sandler stuff. Speaking of people with interesting resumes, the music is by George S. Clinton, who has a long history of doing soundtracks.
00:05:50
Speaker
His correct include the original Mortal Kombat movie. Okay.
George S. Clinton's Musical Contributions
00:05:54
Speaker
Yep. American Ninja II and III. But not one. No. That should be silly. He did a soundtrack for all three Austin Powers movies. Also all three Santa Claus movies with Tim Allen. He also did a soundtrack for a film that will come up in the note for next episode, 3000 Miles to Graceland. Okay. Now were his soundtracks for those movies also, you know, 90% rips of radio hits.
00:06:21
Speaker
No, so as a soundtrack guy, he's not responsible in a good or bad way for the music they picked to put like on the movie soundtrack, like when there was some CD back when they released CDs. No, he's like the music you hear between scenes that's not pre-licensed, he did that kind of music. Yeah, I'm having trouble remembering any of that music in this movie. Well, you did a great job then. Yes.
00:06:46
Speaker
I couldn't get an exact date on when the movie was made. According to be, the film was shot between September and December 1999. Yeah, I kind of figured because as we discussed at the end of last episode, Perry Saturn is in it. Yes. And Perry Saturn obviously leaves in early 2000. There's a bunch of stuff I'll touch upon as I go through that.
Analyzing 'Ready to Rumble's' Opening Scene
00:07:03
Speaker
Okay. Makes the timeline interesting for this. Unfortunately, I can't stall in along and we have to actually talk about the movie. Okay. I did my best to pad this out for you, but I couldn't get any more out of this.
00:07:17
Speaker
So the opening credits begins with lots of footage of wrestlers. I don't think any of them are actually in this movie though, right? I don't believe so. It was more like classic wrestling for the most part, and then some modern things mixed in. But I did think it was kind of a nice tribute. It kind of makes it look like the tone of the movie is going to be a little bit different than it ends up being. Yeah. If this is like a really good movie, I guess on the movie The Wrestler, it would be, oh, it makes sense. This is part of the thing. But with this, it feels like we love wrestling.
00:07:47
Speaker
But not anymore. Yeah. It's it's appropriate that we're doing this movie as part of Slamberee because that opening kind of calls back to the early Slamberees with the Hall of Fame ceremonies and celebration of history. See, the theme does tie back, Bob. It does. It does. Yep. Never thought it would tie back this way, but it does.
00:08:06
Speaker
So the film proper begins with our lead, Scott Kahn and David Arquette talking up the prestige and notoriety of Jimmy King, their favorite wrestler. Who's Jimmy King? Yeah, he's not a real wrestler. Yeah. That's the first problem right there. Jimmy King supposedly had a 14 year undefeated streak, I think is what they say.
00:08:31
Speaker
I don't know if they say undefeated streak, but they definitely say he's been in WCW for 14 years, apparently. I think it's a throwaway line, but he's never been beaten or something. Oh, okay. I'm a bit shocked. Maybe this is bad writing. Probably. But the implication is like he's been the big star there all this time. He like has a nearly Ric Flair level career in WCW of the length of time that he's been there, yeah. Right.
00:08:52
Speaker
And to be honest, he's an undefeated, but he's also world champion at this point. If you wonder, could they really have a champion that long in that company? Especially at this point in 2000? Yeah, seems a little doubtful. David, I kept character once another Slurpee, although I can't say Slurpee, it's not 7-11. Yeah, I think they call it slushy, which fair enough. That's actually a type of drink, yeah. Right. Copyright free. Yes.
00:09:18
Speaker
So he goes in knowing he doesn't have enough change, apparently. Oh, he's a penny short. Like, I don't know why he can get a penny from his... Don't they have one of those little penny tales to the side? Yeah, they would paint him a penny, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So this is where reality gets blurred a bit, because he gets in heat arguing with the guy running the shop, who by the way is Ahmed Zappa, one of Frank Zappa's kids.
00:09:39
Speaker
There's a handful of Zappa's out there. There's Amit Dweezons also. She was Moon Unit really, now she's just Moon Zappa. Because Moon Unit would be silly, but Moon is a much more common name. So at least potentially a name. Yeah. What do you want? Boob. Purple sugar slush. King size. That'll be $1.26.
00:10:04
Speaker
$1.25. That's all I got. That's just not good enough now, is it, you little boob? You little Jimmy the King fan boob? Oh, Jimmy King's a big fat loser. He's a sissy and tight. There's a lot of glare coming off that dome of yours. Squirrel nuts! Listen, sunshine, I'm going to open up a fresh can of whoopas on you, boy. Yeah! Bring it on!
00:10:40
Speaker
So at this point that the movie turns into what appears to be pure fantasy sequence. Our technical first match in this movie is David Arquette as Gordy along with Jimmy King played by Oliver Platt versus the Shop Guy played by Ahmed Zappa. I don't think he ever gets a name. I don't believe so. And of all people, the macho man Randy Savage. Oh no. Referee for this one is Billy Silverman.
00:11:10
Speaker
Gordy suplexes the Shop Guy over the counter, but Shop Guy tags the suddenly appearing Randy Savage, who taunts Gordy. Shop Guy grabs Gordy for savage punches, but Jimmy King appears to deck Savage, and Gordy punts the Shop Guy in the balls. Can't imagine that that's gonna be good for getting further service out of the guy. No. King and Gordy run Macho and Shop Guy down the shelves bar fight style, but Shop Guy randomly just kind of teleports into position to clothesline Gordy. That's really weird, yeah.
00:11:38
Speaker
who randomly rams his head into the glass door of the dairy section. To be clear, he's not knocked into the glass doors. He's clotheslined over the ropes that have suddenly appeared. Yeah, there's a ring that's suddenly in the middle of this door for this purpose, yes. Slowly stands up, gets angry, and headbutts the glass doors of the dairy section. It's his homage to Goldberg headbutting locker doors. I guess.
00:11:58
Speaker
Gordy does a springboard drop kick to the shop guy, King slams Macho, and King and Gordy crown shop guy, that's a jumping double axe handle by both, for Billy Silverman to suddenly appear to count three, while the Nitro Girls also suddenly appear to dance in the background. So, thoughts on this one I guess?
00:12:20
Speaker
It's so weirdly put together. Even it's not having a dream sequence. But for one, he doesn't suplex him initially. He's grabbing him like a hip toss kind of. And then suddenly, they're going to have to ring there and he's suplexing him, which is a completely different rotation in your body. Right, yeah. And then the bit with him sliding the guys down the shelves, and then they're just all in completely different positions. Like you said, I get this as a dream sequence. But if you're actually bothering to film a fight scene, then do it better.
00:12:49
Speaker
Well, it's his dream chicken. Why is he getting clothes lined over the ropes like that? I mean, he's going to take some heat, I guess. He's praising Jimmy King. So Jimmy King has to be responsible for the big win, you know. Oh, OK. Plus, if he doesn't get clothes lined over the ropes, how can he do a springboard drop kick and be awesome, right? Sure. He's awesome in wrestling. You think David Urquette? No, not really, no. Yeah. For the try.
00:13:13
Speaker
It's a weird opening bit that makes Gordy just look completely insane, which is not a great way to build sympathy for him. But I do have to say, by later in the movie, I was wishing there was more of this and less of basically everything else the movie does. So there is that. I mean, the fact that Renny Savage is here brings it up above being fully terrible because it's Renny Savage by default. Then it makes you realize the rest of the movie, there's no more Renny Savage, which is a shame. Yeah.
00:13:42
Speaker
I don't know if you caught this when they're having their promo battle. The Shop Guys outfit randomly like just changes. Yes. All of a sudden he goes from wearing a normal vest to like a gladiator style. Yes. I did appreciate it. It's kind of still styled after his like convenience store. Yes. It's his wrestling outfit. He like suddenly transitions into wrestling persona. It's just kind of jarring. I get what they were going for. But again, it's just like the sun. Why don't you just go for that right away when they start screaming at each other since you're already in the dream. Yeah.
00:14:11
Speaker
This is the second to last Renee Savage appearance related to ending WCW, like ever. Wow. Previous to this, he's gone for a while. I think he's coming up from a knee injury, which he got from Hogan. He comes back,
Reality vs. Fantasy in Wrestling
00:14:25
Speaker
does a promo in the ring about how he wants someone to try to pass the torch to, to challenge him. And then leaves without fighting anybody and doesn't appear for like six months.
00:14:35
Speaker
So I guess it was a three second window to answer his challenge, and then because you didn't, he just went home. Yep. Time's up. I'm leaving. Yeah. I want to say around October 1999, which would fit the timeline of when this movie was made. Right, yeah. Also known for that. Gorgeous George, who you see briefly, managing him on the outside. Right, yep. She was actually gone from the company by 1999. She was presumably on her way out from the company when they shot this. Okay.
00:15:01
Speaker
because she was appearing for ECW in a small world by July of 2000, so. Right, I remember you mentioning she went on to that. And Raina Savage is, I'll cover his final appearance, because it actually relates to Slavery 2000 on the next show. Okay. Raina Savage is all but gone as well. Thankfully, he can rebound from this, of course, appearing as Bonesaw in the classic Spider-Man film. Yes. A couple years later. That is epic. Yes.
00:15:27
Speaker
All that nonsense done, we flash back outside, revealing that Gordy's actually been in a daze out in front of the convenience store the whole time, but he still wants that slushie and he still doesn't have enough money.
00:15:40
Speaker
And so apparently while he's gone, he's standing with his finger in his butt. Because this is a comedy. So he goes in saying he's a new one and holding his finger, which was previously somewhere bad, next to the cup so the guy will think the slushie was bad. Yes. You know, again, he drank all of it. As he explains, the butt fruit settled at the bottom. Yeah. That is an actual line from this movie.
00:16:06
Speaker
Yeah, I was giving it to you to say the word to butt fruit up until this point. That's my duty on this episode, right? That's, yeah. Thank you, Eric, for that. And so, yeah, against all odds, that plan actually works. Arket's dad in the movie is a cop. A psychopath, but also a cop. He also is psychopathic, yes. Yeah, he abuses his power quite a bit to push his son into becoming a cop. But there's a weird way to do that.
00:16:33
Speaker
I can traumatize you. Don't you want to traumatize someone else? I guess. I guess, you know, you might want to pass it on. I'm going to leave that there. Yeah, yeah. We had a lovely bit of communication where they introduced the idea that they work for a sewage company that cleans up and clears out porta potties. Yes. After they're done talking about wrestling, going to see Nitro that night, Scott Kahn's character decides to use the porta potty near them. Which is Sean, right? Yes. Yeah.
00:16:59
Speaker
Which first off, I don't know, maybe that's me, but if my job was cleaning a port-a-potty, I would never use a port-a-potty in my life. That's probably true. Although I guess once you've cleaned them, you know that that is the one moment at which that port-a-potty is definitely clean. Yeah, I suppose.
00:17:17
Speaker
He, of course, tells his buddy or cat character not to mess with him, which is just a way to tell him to, in fact, do that. Yes. So it is a weird thing where, like, puts the suction machine up to the back of the porta potty and, like, to the bottom and it starts sucking into the hill.
00:17:32
Speaker
like suctions him to the toilet seat, which I've seen the MythBusters episode on the airplane suction that wouldn't work. It could only work if he actually had the seat up and was sitting at it, but they proved on that that even the slight barrier afforded by the seat is enough to completely break any kind of vacuum suction you could get, even with a really powerful one. So not that that's the biggest flaw this movie has, but I just want to clarify that. Fair enough.
00:18:02
Speaker
So yeah, Scott Khan character, of course, gets out of there. And there's an interesting accusing bit for me, which is so early, we just saw Derek head character in his dream sequence, suplexing the shop cap owner. And then as reprisal for his actions, Scott Khan then in real life does a suplex to our cat.
00:18:20
Speaker
Yeah. So he can do it in real life, but our cat cannot, I guess. This is one of the early signs of the movie's complete inability to decide whether wrestling is fake or real. Also, these two guys are getting in an actual fight. Yes. And using pro wrestling moves, which are for the most part, not always, but for the most part, at least if you're not a Steiner. Yes. Moves that require your opponent to cooperate with you to go off properly. A basic suplex for sure does that. Yes.
00:18:46
Speaker
at least the vertical suplex types they're doing, like a German suplex or a back suplex or something, those are closer to legit mat wrestling moves. A vertical suplex, that's definitely not an uncooperative move. You could rationalize it with the first bit, because it's a crazy dream sequence. He's picturing it like how he sees wrestling, so of course that all makes sense.
00:19:07
Speaker
Exactly. Yeah, I have no problem with it than that one. Yeah, but it is funny to see his friend doing a real select to him And he has to imagine himself being able to do that to rent a vehicle. Yes. Yes it is Scott Khan's character Sean you'll see he has a bracelet made a leather braces as a WWK D. Yes, which stands for what would King do? Which directed Bob and I for a bit first time we watched this together. Yeah
00:19:33
Speaker
Number one, wondering how this film did not get sued out of existence at that point, but as you pointed out. So yeah, if they just kept WWJD, it would be what would Jimmy do, as in Jimmy King? Which if you look at what the WWJD bracelet actually said is what would Jesus do, and Jesus being the first name. If we were mimicking the rules used for WWKD, it would be WWCD.
00:20:01
Speaker
It's like weird even at the little bits, this film's internal logic falls apart. It's also the idea that he apparently had a leather bracelet made. Did he make it or did he pay someone to make it? If not, it's quite clear. I don't think Etsy was a thing at this time. No, for sure. I'm pretty sure not. I can't imagine him sitting at home and using leather stitching and making that himself. Right, yeah. This is the point of the movie where I think you realize that
00:20:29
Speaker
Like you coming into this assume that this is going to be a movie where it's going to be like pro wrestling fans as in in favor of wrestling fans. Yes. Yes. And like everyone who doesn't like wrestling is stupid because it's being made by a wrestling company. Right. Right. But that's not really how this movie is going. Everyone is portrayed as a moron. Yes. Like every single person.
00:20:49
Speaker
Gordy is a jerk to his friend and to his family. Sean is an idiot who makes bracelets that are copyright infringing and stupid. Gordy's father is a power hungry crazy tyrant who's probably going to shoot someone
00:21:04
Speaker
If he hasn't already. Yes, outside of any kind of legitimate activity at some point. And every single person that they encounter is just a complete jerk. Yeah. There's maybe one of the people that get by only because they have small roles and they don't really have a character argument in time to really do that. But yeah, for the most part, everyone is just bad. Yeah. And if this is what WCW thinks their fans are.
Portrayal of WCW Fans
00:21:32
Speaker
Yes.
00:21:33
Speaker
they're self-absorbed man children who have no concept of reality whatsoever. Like there's a point, the point where Gordy's dad is abusing his power and then lecturing Gordy on wrestling being fake. Gordy like screams at him in hyper aggressive, like close to violent manner, the wrestling not fake. You know, you're just like, get this dude some professional help. He's gonna hurt somebody.
00:22:04
Speaker
There's also a bit in that when the dad is harassing them, he makes fun of wrestling being quote unquote homoerotic. And then the same scene, he gets very hands on while frisking his son's friend. Yeah. So this is presumably a due to no. Yes. Yes.
00:22:25
Speaker
After this, we see them go to a local restaurant, which is, drive to the restaurant, they don't even name it, I forget. I don't recall. I don't care enough to. Oh yeah, it's not a real place, it's not a McDonald's or anything like that, because they didn't want to pay the licensing for that. But it's some sort of restaurant, so they hit on the two young ladies that work there. The idea is that Sean is really in love with the one girl, Brittany, the blonde one. Right. Whereas the other girl's name is Wendy, thanks to my notes. I have that run down.
00:22:54
Speaker
It's the cute girl that totally loves the main character thing. He seems to have no idea thing, which of course will pay off later, because this is a movie. Yeah, which would matter if they were in more than like two scenes in the film. Correct. This is the point where I have to confess, later in the film, these two characters show up again. They do. I had completely forgotten that they existed. Oh, sure. At that point, because they are in this scene. Yes. And not feature for the rest of the movie until like really close to the end. Yes.
00:23:21
Speaker
It's not a character arc. No. It's just like, hey, there's this girl that I kind of like and this girl that kind of likes me, but we're not going to talk about them at all. No. I think the one girl asked to go to Nitro with them or something, but they didn't. She doesn't go with them at all. So yeah, there's no follow through with this up until like later in the movie and they reappear again as if, oh, it's those characters. Yeah, I'd forgotten who they were. Yeah. I had a little bit of trivia with them, though, since I'm on there. They're one of two scenes.
00:23:49
Speaker
So Brittany, the blonde girl, is played by Jill Ritchie, who is a number of character acting credits. Okay. But no it's notable for being the sister of Kid Rock. Oh, okay. You hear that and you see the page and you're like, yeah, I can see that. Okay.
00:24:02
Speaker
Wendy, the nice girl, the brunette, is played by Melanie Paxson. She, again, has a long history, even just working to this day, as character actresses playing moms, and girlfriends, and stuff. She has one big role that a lot of people know her from, though. She is in a very famous State Farm ad, in which her husband is calling State Farm at 3 a.m. He's calling each other, you can do Jake from State Farm, so he burns the Jake State Farm ads. That's her.
00:24:27
Speaker
Okay. Okay. He's like, Jake, take farm at three in the morning. Who is this? That's her. Okay. I remember that one. Yeah. Obviously that was 19 years later. So I took a better role than in this movie. Yes. The more fleshed out character. Yes, it is.
00:24:45
Speaker
As far as Sean goes, they made a passing mention to his father being dead, but I honestly get fully forgotten until you reminded me when we were watching it. Fully not that important to the story. Yeah, it's like our cat says something about, like, I can't believe my dad. And Sean's like, at least you got a dad. I was like, oh, sorry, man. Yeah. And that's it. That's all you get for a little while longer.
00:25:08
Speaker
And then there's a mention of the uncle in the next scene, and he's complaining about the seats they got, but then there's a random mention of his uncle lost from his net cancer or something. It's like a random line like that. I don't know why it's in the movie.
00:25:21
Speaker
I'll talk about this more later, but it feels like Sean is set up as like he's one of the main characters of the movie, but they forgot to give him actual character development at all. They gave all of the plot stuff to Gordy. That's true. He gets the starting points of six or seven plots, but they never do anything with any of them. Yes, that's true.
00:25:44
Speaker
So now that we've almost established our characters are all basically terrible, and we really don't want to follow them anywhere, we're then following them to Nitro.
WCW Nitro and Audience Discrepancies
00:25:51
Speaker
Okay. Where they go to a real arena, although that arena they go to, I was looking up and we watched it, it's a fairly large arena in the state that they're set in, that's supposed to hold like 18 to 20,000 people.
00:26:05
Speaker
a tenth of that, and clearly in that set they built. It didn't look like it was anywhere near full. No. Which, I mean, it's your movie. Yeah. You could lie and say that you could fill arenas. There's a super tiny looking arena, which is because I don't know why I could film the actual arena when there's no game going on. Yeah. Or film this before a nitro, which would make more sense. It would look better, but I don't know why they couldn't do that. It's weird. Just a comparison. And the movie, Fighting With My Family, based on Paige's real life.
00:26:35
Speaker
to shoot the bit where paid to beat A to lead for the title, they went out and had the rock introduced, they were gonna film a scene for a movie, and then they shot that in front of a real rock crowd, an actual rock crowd, and just react like this is happening, nor do you know what this all is. That's how you shoot something like that, when you have a wrestling company to build this around. That'd be cool to be part of that, wouldn't it? And they get to say, hey, I'm actually in the scene. Yeah, that'd be really neat.
00:27:03
Speaker
Yeah, so now they're at Nitro, and we usually skip over everything except the end of Nitro.
00:27:09
Speaker
Yeah, we get a few shots of a few match clips here and there. Oh, right. Is this the point where they have Rey Mysterio and Kidman in a match and they actually do one of the few nice things in this movie. They do a slow-mo shot of that one move we found really cool from their match last year. Oh, right, yeah. Where Kidman, yeah, alley oops, yeah, Rey into Hurricane Rana, yeah. Yeah. So I appreciated getting a really nice detailed slow-mo shot of that. Yeah. But that was one of the few things I could say I appreciated about this movie. Yes. So our second match then,
00:27:38
Speaker
is Diamond Dallas Page versus Jimmy King for King's WCW World Heavyweight Championship. The ring announcer, unusually enough, is Mean Jean Okerlund. I don't know if he was doing it on Nitros at this time. I don't believe so, no. I don't think I've ever seen him do ring announcing in WCW.
00:27:59
Speaker
I think he did it sometimes in WWF maybe, but. Yeah, no, I can't, any shows I've watched, I've never seen him do that before. Yeah. Tony Schiavone and Mike Tine call the match, and Tony looks like he's dying inside the entire time. At this point, it's late 99, 02,000, Nitro. He may just look like that all the time anyways. Yeah. It's not necessarily just this movie's fault. He looks like he's given up. Oh yeah. Really, where Mike Tine is at least trying to look engaged, and Tony's like, oh boy. Yeah. That sure was exciting.
00:28:27
Speaker
I noticed watching the movie that T'Nade is a lot more active in commentary than any show we've actually seen before. Yeah. He's calling all the actions, and T'Nade has a random outburst. Yeah, like T'Nade has suddenly become color commentator. Yeah. But also doesn't give a crap. Yes, that's true. Which, fair enough. Yeah. So the match proper starts. They fight for a bit, and we're actually showing them calling some spots, which I thought was actually kind of cool. Yeah. You get to see a little bit of the behind the curtain stuff.
00:28:56
Speaker
even if that is, again, getting at the war between is wrestling real or fake, that goes through this entire movie. Right. There is also the idea that DDP is calling a match in the ring. Yes, that is probably the least believable thing in this movie, right? That's true, yes. At a certain point, as King is calling for a hip toss, Paige gives a significant look to apparent WCW owner Titus Sinclair. Yes. Played by... Joe Panleone, I believe. Yes. Who is the dude from the Matrix movies. Yes. Among, like, a billion other things. Yes. That's what I recognize him from. He's also in Daredevil as well. Yes.
00:29:27
Speaker
Paige at that point starts legit attacking King and beats him up, but that includes several very obvious wrestling moves by both of them rather than any actual legit attacks other than punches. Yes. Both of them tried their wrestling finishers in a supposedly legit fight. Yes.
00:29:43
Speaker
And several other guys run in to beat up King again with wrestling moves. Yes. Everybody, even King's allies beat him up. As Gordy and Sean scream and try to run down to the ring, four guys climb the top ropes on each corner and do simultaneous dives onto King, giving Paige the three count in the win. It's a nice variant there on John's old four pillars of creation strategy from his brawl losses match. Oh, yeah, that's true.
00:30:08
Speaker
Well, they call it something stupid, like the four corners of death or something. Like this is a big thing. I think Tony or Tanae actually does give it a name. Yeah. I get the thing that they totally do in wrestling. Yes. What? No. So yeah, thoughts on this bit? I mean, there's a whole lot of stupid here for one. There is.
Jimmy King's Character Critique
00:30:26
Speaker
Yes. The king, he has the posse, which apparently is Conan and Kurt Henig.
00:30:34
Speaker
Yeah, weird combination. Yeah. And they're not like wearing royal outfits or anything. They take them off. It's just them and the royal outfit. They're standard gimmicks, and Jimmy King is standing there. By the way, let's not leave this aside. This Jimmy King gimmick would die a death in 1999 or 2000, right? As the straight-laced Superface won, yes. He is dressed in a medieval King outfit. Yes.
00:30:56
Speaker
for his entrance and for the actual mat. Yes. Because Oliver Platt, well, a perfectly fine actor. It does not seem, shall we say, in full wrestling shape. So they gave him this like full medieval looking bodysuit. Yeah. Which that alone would kill a late 90s character. Yes. But then beyond that, he's doing royal puns, but they've tried to make this very obvious, like early 80s
00:31:21
Speaker
Jerry Lawler parody into a 90s character by having him swear and rap. Because a middle-aged white dude rapping is 90s? I mean, I'm sure you could probably find the audio from rapping, but I really don't want to ever hear that again in my life. It's terrible. It's really bad, yeah.
00:31:44
Speaker
So it's like this is their idea for what the single most popular wrestler in WCW in 1999 or 2000 would be. Yes. A obvious early 80s character. Yes. Who they have made say a few potty mouth words. Yes.
00:32:04
Speaker
No wonder the company went out of business. Yeah, yeah. Because to be fair, at this point Jerry Lalo is obviously around and technically he never stopped wrestling, which is a whole other thing to get into, wrestlers that can't ever retire. But he really didn't actively wrestle at all at this point.
00:32:20
Speaker
in WWF. Obviously, he was doing a lot of commentary. That was his big thing. He was the co-voice of WWF at this point. Right. With Jim Ross. But suddenly, like, if you swap the Switch people and suddenly Stone Cold's doing commentary and he's Stone Cold spot, that makes no sense. It doesn't work. No. Like, and even at least Jerry Lawther is not doing, like, I'm actually a medieval king. That's true. Where Jimmy King appears to be trying to actually do that. Yes, that's true. So, sorry, back to the posse.
00:32:50
Speaker
It's the blatant, like, vitch Russo swerve. Like, everyone's turned on Jimmy King. His friends are here. Oh, no, they turn on him, too. Yes. And also, like, come on, there's no way that DDP of all people could actually pull a shock betrayal, right? You'd read about it on page 47, paragraph 6 of his matched script box. Yeah, exactly, yeah.
00:33:10
Speaker
I did find it neat to see them do the spot calling bit, though I appreciated that. And they had a bit of a flow to this one. It kind of worked, but it definitely goes way over the top once they start the betrayal bit, like you said.
00:33:23
Speaker
It does help the fake match flow a bit because the stunt double four of our plot was Chris Canyon. Oh, okay. So the part where they're actually doing move, it's Canyon DP wrestling. I can see that working perfectly fine. Yeah. And feuding in the actual 2000 in real life. Okay. That makes sense. Because it felt like the quality of the action was actually pretty much fine. Yes. Which you'd get since it's actually a bunch of wrestlers doing it. Yes.
00:33:49
Speaker
Yeah, it'd be him doing the action, then cut to exasperate all over the platform. What happened, you know? Yeah. Yeah, they definitely have a little bit of the, um, everything is fake except for what you're watching right now. Yes. I think that we'll play the actual WCW in 2000. Mm-hmm. So going back a bit, the hook of this is that King is our world champion, but apparently he's gotten sloppy, and as we were from Goldberg, apparently the drinking problem occasionally throws up on people.
00:34:17
Speaker
So he's, of course, the good guy who shouldn't be betrayed because he's dangerous in the ring and sloppy and always late to the show and disrespectful. So he's definitely some guy which nothing bad should happen to. He's a great guy.
00:34:30
Speaker
Yeah, it's an interesting thing and I get the idea they're going for here is like it's a redemption arc. Yes. But it definitely feels a little bit weird seeing just how disliked he's supposed to be in the early going where it doesn't feel like early Jimmy King has redeeming qualities. No. This is the point where you kind of need to have something in there that tells
00:34:51
Speaker
the viewer why you should maybe think about liking this guy. Yeah. They're kind of, it's actually, I didn't think about this until now, but it's like the, it's like all those wrestling angles we complain about where it's like, this guy has a face by virtue of being a villain who was betrayed by other villains. Yes. He has a face because he didn't cheat well enough or he's a face because someone didn't cheat well enough for him and then beat him up. Yeah. He's not a face because he's actually a face. No.
00:35:18
Speaker
He's just a weird, anachronistic character who raps and says b**** once or twice, but also a king and people love him, so it's a shock that he's betrayed. Yeah.
00:35:31
Speaker
So following this, our two heroes drive home, and apparently their sewage truck, which I guess is their only means of conveyance.
Gordy and Sean's Quest for Jimmy King
00:35:37
Speaker
It sounds like Sean actually owns it and even perhaps owns the company from some dialogue we get, I guess, so I guess that is his personal vehicle. I guess so. Seems inconvenient. Yeah. I mean, aside of the fact that it's probably filled with raw sewage at all times, it's just a big truck. I highly doubt you ever get that smell out, right? No, no. Even for us to clean that thing, it's seep into everything.
00:36:02
Speaker
So they're upset because apparently, and I miss this, because King lost, he's now banned from WWE for life, apparently? I think Sinclair does say it. I don't know if it was a condition of the match, but I think he does like the Vince Russo, and you'll never see that guy here again that he did in the Hogan Bash at the Beach thing.
00:36:20
Speaker
They say it's a matter-of-fact way, like, oh, well, he's lost the match, he's banned for life. I feel like I missed what I expressly explained. In theory, my brain is shutting down partially of the self-defense thing, because it does happen with bad results. Yes, we've seen that in the Mr. Hughes match, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. I don't remember if they actually say it before the match at all, but I'm sure that Sinclair says it after the match. Oh, okay.
00:36:47
Speaker
So because they're distracted driving and all emotional, they, of course, crashed their sewage truck, which they escaped from pretty much unharmed, which is pretty amazing, because they roll, they flip that thing over. Yeah, it goes over on its side, but they managed to climb out the window. They don't appear to have any significant injuries for raw sewage to seep into. I mean, I guess if Triple H can survive his car being flipped over by Stone Cold, that one show. Yeah. He's fine, I guess, yeah.
00:37:12
Speaker
So then this leads to the part where the police have have taped off the whole area trying to clean up and get rid of the wreckage of lights and everything everywhere. So with no truck driving like 100 miles an hour down this random back road, someone doesn't see this. Yeah.
00:37:28
Speaker
And then crashes as well. It's, I get that it's night, but that actually makes it harder to believe this. This guy is coming down a perfectly straight road. There's police lights everywhere in front of him. You can see it for a mile. And a tipped over sewage truck is not hard to see. Yeah. And somehow this dude doesn't see it until he's like next to it. Yes. Slams on his brakes, fishtails his truck. Yeah.
00:37:53
Speaker
Which is carrying, of course. Toilet paper. Yeah. Because that is the level of humor that this movie has. Yes. Exactly. So apparently, truck is not just their company vehicle and their way of making money. Apparently, it also was the last thing that Sean's father left him. Yeah, he left him the truck and the business or something like that. Sean is now starting another subplot that they'll not do anything with. Lost his truck, his business, and the final memento of his dead father. Yes.
00:38:24
Speaker
So naturally, now that they've lost their way of making money, they decide to drive cross-country to find Jimmy King. Because obviously, what went down is a travesty, and they need to find him and make it right. Gordie, it seems like Sean might have more important things to address in his life at the moment. Yeah, maybe.
00:38:44
Speaker
Just leave the scene of this major accident where the police are there. And that's fine. Which is your fault, by the way. Oh, 100%. Yeah. I didn't think about it until then, but Gordy's dad is a cop. Yes. They should obviously be having some sort of scene here where they are forced to communicate with the police in detail about the intricacies of this massive, massive wreck that they have caused and the sewage that is currently spilling all over the natural environment in the area.
00:39:10
Speaker
The only way I could rationalize this in a movie, not in real life, obviously, is if the dynamic of the dad was positive. Then he could have been like, I got them all. Yeah, my dad will cover it. Don't worry about it. There's a perfect opportunity actually that they've wasted to get Gordy and Sean more legitimately into conflict with Gordy's father, the cop, that they have just done something terrifically irresponsible that the police have to deal with.
00:39:35
Speaker
The character that has a perfect excuse to be angry at them already is not involved in this whatsoever. No, not at all. So they have no vehicle, they have to hitchhike. So of course they picked up by nuns. Yes. I mean, it was good for the dance on the bops, but I guess it's okay for that to. It's of course full of singing nuns in the back of the van, as I guess all nuns traveling in vans must do. I mean, you gotta amuse yourself on the road somehow, right? Yeah, I guess so.
00:40:03
Speaker
So they start singing some normal songs while we get the montage establishing that they're traveling long distances. And then we have an outfit where Gasol didn't know anything going contemporary and Asimov starts singing Running With The Devil. Which I will admit, I actually found that pretty funny. Just because the actress explained the nuns really...
00:40:23
Speaker
go into the idea of doing that song, but in a very religious style, your religious singing style. They're singing it very prim and proper still, but singing that song is kind of funny. You see, I was expecting the more obvious thing, which is that they're arriving along, and you have the montage show in the car, and you have the map shot with, and they're going a long way. And then they ask them to sing that song, and then suddenly abrupt cut, and they're kicked out of the van. Which would be hilarious too, yeah. Right.
00:40:50
Speaker
But I know I'll give them some credit for that one at least for how they ended up doing it was pretty funny Yeah, what is not funny is the joke that comes immediately after the nuns dropped them off their next destination Where they look at each other and realize that that nuns part. Yes. Yeah Which I guess is news to them. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah
00:41:13
Speaker
So while getting supplies, they went across a nerdy red-headed guy who's also a wrestling fan. And he's helped him out by going on the internet. Now, they discover this guy playing a arcade cabinet. Oh, right. Yeah. Which is apparently a Jimmy King wrestling game, which looks like utter crap. Yeah. Like they could have spent like maybe more than four seconds designing the animations for this thing. Yes.
00:41:38
Speaker
If you think going back to play the first Virtua Fighter looks really jagged and janky now, this is still worse. They're trying to do something kind of like the old, what's it, Wrestlefest arcade game, I think, but it does not look anywhere near that animation quality. Everything is super glitchy and jerky and everything. It's terrible. And not for nothing, but they're still making DSW games at this point.
00:42:00
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know if Yux was doing or who was doing with this point. Why not just use actual game footage, say, hey, here's some money, build Jimmy King of this and we can use this footage. Yeah. Or does he even have to be playing as Jimmy King? Just no. Like, is it literally half in playing? WSW, NWO, Revenge.
00:42:17
Speaker
Yeah, but I mean if you're gonna cross more things you could have them add Jimmy King and make them a downloadable character in one of those games. Or just cheat and do the WWF one that actually had a character creator. Make Jimmy King in that and make, you know, Sting or somebody and hide the WWF logos. You'll be good. There you go. There were options. That's what we're saying. There are many options, yes.
00:42:39
Speaker
So fortunately this guy has the power of the internet, which apparently they couldn't think to do themselves. He tells them where Jimmy King might be, tracking down his ex-wife and his parents as well. This guy will appear again later in the movie as a convenient exposition character with the internet.
00:42:56
Speaker
Basically, Phil and the role Justin Long played in Galaxy Quest. He's not as important to the plot, like, you know, obviously, Justin Long's very important to the third act of that movie, explaining how the ship's mapped out, but that's clearly what they're going for. That was made like two years before this movie. Oh, okay. If that's an accident, I apologize to them, but it doesn't look like an accident whatsoever. Remotely.
00:43:21
Speaker
So on the way they track down Jimmy King's parents, they'll find him there first. There's a kind of funny bit, to be fair, where a cat is surprised that they're around, because apparently, Jimmy King's biography says that they died in a plane crash. Yeah, he and Sean start very genuinely explaining to them that Jimmy King comforted, I think, the mom after his dad tragically died. I think they both did that. And he's just very earnestly explaining this.
00:43:50
Speaker
Well, I think he tells them that they both died in the plane craft, but then later he has to help nurse them back to health, which is obviously contradicting the fact that they're dead, and all the back that they're right in front of him. That part is actually genuinely funny, the earnestness with which they portray that, where he's going into Jimmy King's biography and what a great man he is, and literally says to one of them, and after you died... Yes, yeah. That's again a point I will give credit to this movie.
00:44:18
Speaker
By the little background for you, it might help fill us out a bit. Damien King's dad is played by Louis Arquette. Oh, who is the Arquette's father? Okay, fair enough. Damien King's mother is played by Kathleen Freeman, who has a multi-decade career, starting in the 40s, ending, thankfully, not with this movie, but about a year from this movie coming out, she died of, you know, an old age. She was in her 80s. Yeah, so it's interesting that the Arquette's dad is playing as well as his dad in this movie. That is a little bit strange, isn't it?
00:44:45
Speaker
It should've just gone out and had his, gotten his mom to be in the movie as well, if that was possible. Just have both his parents play this guy's parents, why not? Yeah. Then we could get into the idea that Jimmy King is probably just a figment of David Arquette's imagination. Ooh. Make this movie much more interesting. Is Jimmy King his Tyler Durden? Yeah, exactly. I could work with that. Yeah, yeah. I can totally work Fight Club into this somehow. Anything to escape throughout this movie.
00:45:12
Speaker
They also find Jimmy King's wife, or rather his ex-wife. The ex-wife is played by Carolyn Ray, who previously appeared in the film Man on the Moon, about Andy Kaufman, which is notable because that film features Jerry Lawler. So, she's a film with Jerry Lawler, and another film with a parody of Jerry Lawler. Kind of a weird thing. That is strange.
00:45:37
Speaker
The other connection that's kind of funny as well is that Kelly and Ray's big part around this time was working on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, which plays one of the aunts. Oh, okay. I thought she looked familiar. Yes. And so on that show, if you remember, there is a talking cat. Yes. Not a talking cat. He's just a normal talking magical cat.
00:45:59
Speaker
The voice of that adjunct cat was a character actor who was still doing stuff today, but it was known for a lot of people as the voice of the pro wrestling secret revealed, a special they ran out of UPN. A lot of unfortunate connections in this movie. I mean, if his goal was to prove how fake wrestling is, this movie didn't help. It helped him, it helped us, it helped him.
00:46:24
Speaker
But yeah, she explains that he hasn't paid alimony and his adult son, who, of course, is bent over with his butt hanging out, because this is that kind of movie. Yep. He hasn't finished paying for the braces he's wearing or something really stupid like that. And here's what he owes him money and they haven't seen him. Right. Using the power of the Internet from the character they met earlier, they will track him down, the actor they're making, at a trailer park, whereupon he is hiding his trailer, dressed him with clothing to avoid creditors.
00:46:55
Speaker
I guess the idea is he never saved any of his money? I guess, because he's apparently had a 14-year career in WCW, as we established. Much of it, it sounds like, as world champion, which you would expect would mean quite a... A good seven-figure salary, I would think. Right, yeah. They paid a quarter of a million dollars to Randy Savage's brother, who never appeared in the company. Yes. For all the faults that we can assign to WCW, underpaying people was not one of them. No, no, no.
00:47:26
Speaker
Yeah, so they figure out he's there. He tends to be someone else. Then so they give him, what do you think, 30 bucks I think it is? Yeah, he charges them a personal appearance fee for 30 bucks for five minutes or something like that. They try to talk him up saying he needs to come back.
00:47:43
Speaker
He then tells him it's all fake because we need to establish that some more. Yes. He's afraid of him back because I guess having worked with Paige for, I assume, years at this point, if the timeline is roughly the same, DDP has been a big star in this company for at least three years. Yeah, three to four years. Yeah, they would work together, I would think. I guess now he's afraid of DDP because he's going to actually legit beat him up with the diamond cutter, apparently. Yep. That's a real move that definitely actually works and hurts people. Yeah.
00:48:11
Speaker
First they get a beer, which helps a little bit. But then they basically antagonize him into beating them up. Yeah. What's what's hilarious about this and actually another kind of legitimately funny moment is they try to convince him that he can overcome adversity by recounting wrestling angles he was in, in which the Jimmy King fictional character was fictionally injured, but came back from injuries. That's true. Yeah. And he, of course, doesn't buy that part at all. But then they annoy him enough that he actually threatens to beat him up.
00:48:40
Speaker
Yes. There's a random line when they were counting that, it was a recall where they said that he beat Sting after Sting broke three vertebrae in his neck with his bat. It was like, wait, so Sting is something an unsafe worker now? That doesn't seem believable. Also, that would mean he'll Sting at that point. I mean, there was the very limited late 99 period. So maybe that's like two weeks. Yeah. Maybe that happened in that two weeks. Yeah.
00:49:04
Speaker
It's not clear what's happened with the world title and say Goldberg's run at the top in 1998 if Jimmy King is world champion. Yeah, we're clearly way off into the alternate universe timeline at this point. Yes.
00:49:18
Speaker
Yeah, when they go to minta into beating them up, he of course finishes beating them up also with his finisher, the crown. Yes, which is again a jumping double axe handle off in this case, like his sofa or something, which is again a wrestling move that is explicitly done to not actually hurt people. Yes. Being done in this case to legit KO them for like hours.
00:49:40
Speaker
And let's be clear, I'm sure you could hit someone hard enough with that to hurt. But the point is, this is a guy trained to do this move not to hurt people, but you're selling this as a move that he's trained to use to hurt people. It's a totally different approach. And he's doing it in pro wrestling style. He's not doing it in legitimate bar fight kind of style to them.
00:50:06
Speaker
Also, if memory serves correctly, it's part of the bit where they're leading to beat them up. Our cat character puts a figure four on him, or at least put some form of figure four on him. Yeah, starts to put some kind of hold on him, yeah. So again, the idea is you need to fantasize doing wrestling moves, but you can also just do them for real. Yeah, and they actually work. Yes. But also, it's still fake. Yes. It can't decide this, and it keeps coming up.
00:50:32
Speaker
So the next morning they wake up after having been apparently vicious, KO'd, and presumably having brain damage. I mean, how could you tell? That's true, I don't know how I could tell, yeah. It's like having a really low tire and then they go flat. Like, I guess it's a difference, but I can't really see the difference.
00:50:49
Speaker
So after having woken up with, I guess, no repercussions, David King tells him that they're going to go to Nitro because he's going to punch DDP, and that's going to settle everything. Yeah. He just wants to attack DDP and Titus Sinclair. He's not really saying, I want to get back into wrestling or anything. He's just saying, I want to beat up these guys that did me wrong. I'm just imminent for revenge, like a true hero. Exactly, yes.
00:51:13
Speaker
I found it very appropriate for WCW and this movie that the lyrics of the song that's playing as they go driving down the road towards Nitro mentioned, I am my own worst enemy. Yeah, that's very, very appropriate for both this movie and WSW. I could see that. Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:33
Speaker
So, he remember a very short time ago in which they lost their sewage truck. It's important to remember that because the next scene, they are driving in a company living Porta Potties with Jimmy King inside one of them to sneak backstage at Nitro. True. Where do they get those from? Yeah, because it's said there, I think they're driving his RV there.
Backstage Antics at Nitro
00:51:53
Speaker
Correct. But yeah, where did they get the Porta Potties? Once they get to town, they must call someone they know and rent them to Porta Potties.
00:52:00
Speaker
And then thinking around there, then get to drive them and even then it'll work for the company. I didn't think about that yet. Because, I mean, Nitro is a touring show. Yes. It's not like it's in the same city all the time. No. Where you could even say, oh, they just called their buddy that they normally do work for in the same city. Nitro is probably in a completely different location by now. Presumably, they just, I guess, have contacts. Sean is very well connected. He was like, oh, I know my dad's buddy that he used to work with in the great Porta Potty War of 89.
00:52:31
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't even think about that. Where the heck did they get the porta potty? Yeah. Inquiring minds want to know. Right. It's also worth noting to a certain degree that the Backstate Dairy of Nitro is just full of porta potties, but they're in a massive arena.
00:52:48
Speaker
Yeah, wouldn't it have its own bathrooms? Yeah, do you need port-a-potties back there? How poorly equipped is this arena? It's not either going to Road Wild. Right, yeah. It's not an outdoor event like Road Wild or the one bash of the beach that's actually at the beach. Yeah. It's an actual arena. These places have bathrooms. Yes. Good gosh. The more you think about it, the worse it gets. This gets stupider the more we talk about it, yeah.
00:53:14
Speaker
They've set King up in the porta potty and then Paige and Titus are just backstage, just happened to be cutting a promo next to the porta potties because that's a great place to do your promos. They set a kind of live promo backstage next to the porta potties. Yeah, so that you can have, you know, charming noises emitting during the middle of your promo. That'd be where I'd want to cut it. Sure. I mean, Batman Bigelow works as companies. Hopefully he's not using one of those. Yeah.
00:53:36
Speaker
And meanwhile, Arquette and Sean are, you know, leching on some Nitro girls. Yeah, they're just casually watching them change. Yeah. Because that's something legal to do. Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah. So during this point, Titus does establish who he's probably actually supposed to be by giving a very Vince McMahon. They love who I tell them to love. Yeah, that's true. But I guess if you're trying to model him after Vince McMahon, you're predicting the future where McMahon ends up buying WCW.
00:54:06
Speaker
And then when Paige insults King, King bursts out of the porta potty and attacks him in the toilet seat. So we get our technical third match. Yes. That being Jimmy King versus Diamond Dallas Paige in an unsanctioned backstage brawl for Jimmy King's remaining small amount of pride. There you go. Referee for this one technically is Billy Silverman. Okay.
00:54:25
Speaker
If we get some interesting moments as the camera crew is now worried about things not being in the script, but apparently didn't give a crap when everybody was, you know, suddenly beating up Jimmy King in the middle of a match where he was probably supposed to win. Yes. King beats the crap out of Page with various implements. The boys meanwhile get beat up by other wrestlers, and Billy Silverman counts King's pinfall on Page after King does the crowning, which again is suddenly a move that can actually legitimately knock you out.
00:54:49
Speaker
I believe he also teleports to be able to do that as well. Probably, yeah. Because he's suddenly on top of one of the porta-potties. Yeah, I don't recall us being shown him climbing up. I may have just drifted off, but... No, no, I didn't see it. Because they're cross-cutting between our two heroes, side to double-team Titus Sinclair, and again, put on a leg hold the second time in this movie, one of them does a leg hold. Yeah. And then one leg chokes him, and it takes a full minute of this happening to call the rest of us to throw them around and knock them out. Yeah.
00:55:17
Speaker
I do have to say I think this was probably still better than a lot of actual WCW hardcore matches. If I had to choose to watch this again or that junkyard invitational, this and the heartbeat, at the very least, it's shorter. Would you rather watch this again than play WCW Backstage Assault? I have actually never played that game. Lucky you.
00:55:42
Speaker
After that match, they've got Sinclair deciding to try and make the best of this, so he actually says that he's gonna allow King one match, which will be a cage match, and all he has to do to get the title is survive, which I guess is somewhat at odds with how the match is portrayed later on in the movie, because it sounds like it's just gonna be like a last 15 minutes against him. Yeah, a time limit thing or something, yeah. That's definitely not how it plays out. No.
Jimmy King's Wrestling Challenges
00:56:07
Speaker
Gordy accepts on King's behalf to King's great displeasure. I will at least say that's a very wrestling thing. That kind of calls back to the 96 Luger and Sting bits. A little bit where Luger is constantly getting them into trouble. What's a Chicago Street fight? I love that bit. I love that bit.
00:56:25
Speaker
I will say for as bad as this movie is with giving us terrible jokes with Gordy and Sean, we had a couple moments where they get beat up by, I want to say it's Van Hammer and Bam Bam Bigel, I believe. Yeah, something like that. One of them gets press slam and thrown onto a, I think it's a Hummer backstage. I don't know if it's the White Hummer, but it sure is a White Hummer backstage.
00:56:46
Speaker
Actually, time-long I thought it might be the same one. That'd be funny if they were just actually shooting that angle on this time, and that was backstage. That's late 99 when they shot this backstage at Nitro. Yeah, you could see that being the actual prop, yeah. That'd be a weird example to gain the most of their money out of that. Maybe they couldn't resolve the Hummer plot because they accidentally broke the Hummer with slamming an actor onto it. Yeah.
00:57:10
Speaker
Yeah, so as much as you don't want to see really be around Gordie and Sean, at least you're going to see them beat up every once in a while to remind you. Those are the more entertaining parts of the film, to be honest.
00:57:21
Speaker
After the match, we get the follow-up on the part where our two heroes are leering on the Nitro Girls changing in the room. The lead Nitro Girl, Sasha, who is not a real Nitro Girl. Who is described, I believe, as perhaps the Nitro-ist Nitro Girl of them all in one of the dumbest lines in the movie. I literally have no idea what that means. I think I actually got dumber repeating that line.
00:57:45
Speaker
So she interrupts them, perving on her coworkers and presumably friends, and proceeds to hit on Gordy, which seems out of character but will eventually be addressed. There's an odd exchange where he says he has a poster at home and he starts posing like poster poses. That was weird. And then he does the pose and she's apparently super impressed by that.
00:58:08
Speaker
Which at least is explained later, but yeah. Yeah. It's weird that his idea is, no, it's this pose and just like turns on his side and poses on a kind of car. That whole bit was bizarre. We also, during that sequence, get Mean Jean asking Jimmy King if people think that Mean Jean is sexy and Jimmy King confirming that he does. Yeah. Enquiring Mind wants to know.
00:58:31
Speaker
at the end of this party, which apparently is just like a random backstage of the arena barbecue tailgate party. And which again, let's just be clear here. Gordy, Sean and King have been invited to this. Yes. Despite their involvement in WCW being an illegal intrusion and assault on WCW performers. Yes. And the fact that it's been previously established that basically everyone in WCW hates Jimmy King. Yes.
00:58:58
Speaker
So what happened is a guy who, nobody liked, got fired, came back and beat the crap out of one of your star performers. And you're like, yeah, guy, come to our post-show party. Yes. Apparently we like you now. Yeah. I guess in the, like, what, week, maybe two weeks? I don't think it's even been a week. Titus and DDP have been so bad that everyone's like, man, we're nostalgic for the days of Jimmy King. Remember that drunk eye shape? We really miss him.
00:59:29
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my goodness. So a distraught and mostly drunk Jibit King ties a runaway and falls in an open manhole, which was definitely safe.
00:59:41
Speaker
We then got to the next day where the sewer department track him down and pull him out and say that he apparently didn't want to leave. I don't know why that could be so bad that he'd rather live in the sewers. Cause it's not like this is the day of the show itself and if no one will let him escape. He has to drive slash fly to the show within like two weeks. He has plenty of time to find a way out of this situation. You have other options, dude. Let's just put it that way. Way more options.
01:00:09
Speaker
Yeah, he implies that Sinclair is going to kill him live on pay-per-view, which would seem to be maybe a bad strategy for Sinclair's, you know, then upcoming murder trial after that. Yeah. I think Phoenix Strike would even have some trouble getting it out of that one. That'd be one of the harder games to do, yeah. At least if you're going to do it, wait until, you know, later 2000 to minimize the witness count. There you go, yeah. Doing that last arcade. There's a small crowd there. Yeah, exactly.
01:00:37
Speaker
They try to encourage him to fight by like singing a fan song that they do. Yeah, which is awful. Yeah. Jimmy King is the best wrestler. He's the best wrestler. He's got class. It reminds me of those. There was a current gets used to an entire life. It was Kristen Wiig and Fred Armisen where they would come on and the joke was
01:01:01
Speaker
air quotes to me anyways, joke was that they were singer songwriter duo and they had all these songs they wanted to sing, but they never actually had songs. As an improv exercise, the woman started singing, they tried to sing a song and they were making up as they were doing it. Oh God. It's really bad. They did like six times. I'd always rather watch that than listen to them sing. It was really bad. He runs away, which is the only appropriate response to that segment. Exactly.
01:01:27
Speaker
I could see if he fell in the sewer and they were singing that down the manhole. That may be why you don't want to come back out again, but no. Yeah. Yeah. So now they've recovered him. They said that he needs to train. And King, apparently, is one guy that can train him. Sal Bandini. Who is clearly supposed to be like a stew heart riff, right? Yeah. According to Wikipedia, he's a parody of Lufez slash stew heart. Definitely more a stew heart for sure. Trust the old man that breaks people's limbs. Yes.
01:01:55
Speaker
He's played by Martin Landau, who won an Oscar five years before the movie came out. And I have no idea why it's in this movie. How the mighty have fallen. Other than maybe he really likes playing an old man character who gets to beat people up, but I guess that can't be worth doing this movie. He had to like know a guy involved in the making of this and want to do a favor for someone or something. It's like, you're too good for this man. Right.
01:02:19
Speaker
So in an introductory scene, they go to a random building where he lives at. And as they get there, he apparently was just training a high school wrestling team who were all coming out with various comedic injuries like arm and a sling, head wrapped up. There's no visible medical staff. So no, either Sal was hurting them and then doing the medical treatment on them as well. Or the team members are all like trained EMTs because they come here so often. Yes.
01:02:46
Speaker
At this point, a lot of it starts to fall apart a little bit. At this point, I know. We get literally one scene where he's apparently training our main hero. King sort of fights out of some holds, basically like kicking the old man in the face, who stays on the ground for a good minute, sounding like he's actually dead from kicking the face once.
Training with Sal Bandini
01:03:09
Speaker
And it pops up, and of course, hits Jimmy King in the balls. Which from this point will start to become a theme in this movie. That's true. Yeah. I mean, if you're a nutshot at W.C.W. you were definitely a recurring theme at this point. Yeah, that's kind of a 1999, 2000 W.C.W. thing. For sure. On a related front, apparently hanging around the same area, Sasha decides to romance Gordy.
01:03:32
Speaker
They have a date, but instead of going out anywhere, which, to be fair to her, we wouldn't be seen in public at that point. No, no. It's really for the best that she stays home with them. Yes. Self-preservation strategy there. Yes. He apparently woos her so much so that she wants to go right to the bedroom immediately, whereupon she flashes them off camera. He yells for an object and punches her in the face. And then that cut away to, I guess,
01:04:00
Speaker
Whatever's happening there. Yeah, no, we can't fail to mention, though, the extremely weird poster in her bedroom. Oh, which is her. Oh, yeah. In like wrestling, Nitro Girl kind of poster pose. But instead of being a actual photograph, it is a drawing of her in very anime style. Oh, right. It was bizarre. Yes.
01:04:24
Speaker
This one's a movie, so you actually wonder sometimes where these props went. Like, does someone keep those paintings? I really hope so. Yeah. Like, I hope that someone actually has props from Ready to Rumble. Yeah. The characters were by Rose McGowan. I wanted to see if, like, a room in her house with all this old stuff like that. Or did she just burn it? Yeah. She has a poster of her machine gun leg from Planet Tarek, all those things. That would keep some of that stuff healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Also, while they're away, Gordy writes a postcard to his father.
01:04:52
Speaker
which he seeks to put on the refrigerator and then shoot his refrigerator several times. He's a terrible shot, too. He is. He misses everything. He misses all but one shot. Yes. He shoots four times and three misses. Yes. I think we didn't need more proof he's a bad cop. He's also bad at actually being a cop. Yes, yeah. Now that King has done all of one training session, he decided to recruit a new posse to replace his old one. So he was the first person you would think of to get help.
01:05:23
Speaker
Goldberg may at least like he has a good win-win loss record. That's true, but he's not exactly known for teamwork Although does he have that same record if Jimmy King has been world champion that is that is true. That is true. Yeah Okay, now I'm just picturing the famous nature work go or beat Hogan as being Goldberg beating Jimmy King Get that massive a point whatever rating that's funny pictures that
01:05:50
Speaker
And it's also at this point, while Goldberg is basically complaining about how bad Jimmy King is and he won't do with him, that we actually beat the biggest star of this movie.
John Cena's Surprising Cameo
01:06:00
Speaker
Although he's not actually supposed to be seen in this movie. In the background of the shot while they're talking to Goldberg, a young man with blond hair except on one of the elliptical machines, visibly looks at the camera because he seems surprised at the camera in the gym he's working out in. And that man, of course, John Cena. Ironically, we can see him. Yes.
01:06:20
Speaker
Yeah, that's just an utterly shocking moment, right? It's like looking at it in hindsight, like the first public appearance of John Cena in something filmed for production to other people is in the movie of the opposite company of the one he'll end up working for. It's amazing. He's like in a half second shot in the background, but it's clearly him. Yes.
01:06:44
Speaker
Yeah, to really appreciate, you have to look back at Cena in his early days as the prototype, which was gimmick and OVW, where he was apparently some sort of cyborg, I guess is the idea or Android of some degree. And he had this weird blonde hair with like pulled back and only in the middle and like a side shape down, which it looks like here. It's kind of amazing that he's in this movie at all. Right. Yeah, it's absolutely incredible to see the guy here.
01:07:10
Speaker
It's funny that you have this movie coming out in 2000. I don't think Cena debuts for like another couple of years in WWF, right? 2002, yes. So this is actually something that only becomes interesting in hindsight. It's like when this movie came out, no one's commenting on that. No. But you look back at this movie a few years later and like, the biggest star of WWE for the next like 10 years is in this movie. It's kind of amazing, yeah.
Character Strategy and Missed Opportunities
01:07:41
Speaker
So following this scene, Goldberg turning them down. This is again another point where there's significant confusion about reality in this because we have Goldberg turning them down because he works alone. But again, is this Goldberg
01:07:56
Speaker
the character, or is this Goldberg's actual wrestling strategy? Because even in this world, we've established that wrestling is planned storylines. So Goldberg works alone, air quotes, as a character. This is not something that he's chosen to do, presumably. This is the character written for him.
01:08:15
Speaker
But he's talking as though he has chosen to work alone in legitimate competition. Right. Again, you can't decide. Yes. Is this a legitimate competition or is it a performance art? Yeah. And David King goes to him for it, not just because he's the big star, but because they were a tag team together, apparently. Yeah. And Goldberg rather want to work on one because of Titus and also because he's posted about how he threw up on him in the ring at some point. Yeah. And he's like, well, how's your partner?
01:08:43
Speaker
Yeah, so it's so unclear over the course of this film whether wrestling is supposed to have any part of reality to it or be entirely a performance art. Right. This is just another example of that. There's so many little points across this movie where you can't really tease out which view of wrestling they're trying to take.
01:09:05
Speaker
After the scene, we learn the Robe McGowan character, Sasha, is working with Titus and tells him about how he's training with the guy. Though, again, he's only training them for like five minutes. I guess sometimes both have passed, but they don't show that. Yeah, they don't do... With no training montage. They do not do a training montage. Yeah. Which seems like the biggest no-brainer in a
Comedic Confrontation with Titus
01:09:25
Speaker
sports-ass movie, right? Yeah. Maybe they could only get Landau for like a couple scenes. I hope for his sake that's what it was. They came in like, what's the script? What?
01:09:35
Speaker
Okay, I said I'd do it, but only this much. He only read his page, not the rest of them, yeah. You've got one day. Yeah. Titus then sends his two goons, Perry Saturn and Sid Vicious, to take out Sal.
01:09:51
Speaker
Saturn and Vicious somehow sneak into his place, undetected as seems. Picturing to Vicious sneaking is a great vision. Yeah, yeah, that's again one of the least realistic things in the place. Yes. No, pretty Saturn, I could maybe see that. Former Army Ranger. Yeah. Now, he could have been trained by a four-navy-sealed Jess of Ventura. That I could see. Jess of Ventura could sneak in, as long as he's not wearing all his jewelry and headpiece and clanking the hallway in there. If he's doing that, then he serves as your flashbang.
01:10:21
Speaker
Oh, there you go. Use point of flashlight. Yes.
01:10:24
Speaker
So they sneak in, Sal goes to the kitchen, and then he seems to come back, and then they grab him in his easy chair, where apparently he set up a dummy of himself, knowing they were there. Which I will say is now one of the most realistic things in the movie, that Sid Vicious could be fooled by that. Yes. Maybe not so much Perry Saturn, but Sid Vicious for sure. Yeah. If you're wondering how he did his super speed, that's a good question, and I don't have an answer to that. A very good question, yes. He then pops up through a trap door,
01:10:53
Speaker
grabs the legs, they're wrestling them around, but then I believe it's Saturn, hits them with a chair, correct? Is it Saturn? I don't remember. I choose not to remember much of the scene. Then they just start kicking them, you know, in what looks like a real non-shooty style. They stand over him like they're sort of stomping their feet. Right, they're doing wrestling stomps. Yes, very blatantly.
01:11:13
Speaker
As you noted earlier, Perry Saturn was gone from the company at this point, famously leaving in January 2000 alongside his cohorts in The Radicals, Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero. Yeah, so it's weird. He's one of the most prominent actual wrestlers in this movie. It's not a lot of scenes, but he has more scenes probably than any actual wrestler in the film other than DDP. Yeah. But he's gone.
Sasha's Betrayal and Gordy's Reflection
01:11:38
Speaker
Yeah, by contrast future five-time five-time that thing at all five-time champion Booker T as a very small part in the movie, right? Much less than Perry Saturn, right? Yeah, they clearly had no idea that that was coming No, they would not have had him be so prominent in this film. Yes So their next visiting visiting with the hospital He gives them the sage advice of don't attack someone's weakness attack their strength. They won't be expecting it Will this pay off?
01:12:07
Speaker
No, not at all. They leave the room and Gordie, while going to the snack machine, overhears Sasha talking to Titus. Thus learned she's a traitor. Gasp, horror.
01:12:20
Speaker
As they leave the hospital, he then leaves her behind, which I guess is good because you can't spy on them at the same time. You could have used, like, if you were a good tactician, you could have used her, you know, to feed false information. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But let's just be honest. We were not expecting that of Gordon. No, that's true.
01:12:39
Speaker
He does also tell her that he's going to find his heart, but she can't because she doesn't have one. Yes. So I presume that Ric Flair at some point ripped out her heart to show the world that she had no heart. Yes. Now that they don't have a trainer, they decide the only thing to do is go home. And they mean Gordie and Sean's home, not King's home to train, which is going to be technically they're in the King's home the entire time. It's his RV that they're driving around in. Right.
01:13:07
Speaker
Though it's actually his parents' RV. That is true. Yes, but yeah, all points the same. Along the way, King feeling bad for what he did decides to visit his ex-wife, leading to the second of any time he kicks into balls. And third time. Because she does it twice. And third time because he does it again, yes.
01:13:23
Speaker
Yeah, he promises, I believe, to pay off his debts by he's going to win a million dollars because Sinclair actually promised a million dollars if he succeeded in addition to the title. Now it's RK84. Yes. And he's going to use the million dollars to pay off his debts and get his kid a good dentist because he's in horror at the dental work that is get his head done. Yeah.
01:13:41
Speaker
Because again, apparently he paid enough, paid enough money to get braces put in, but can't pay to have braces removed, I guess, is the idea. Because he has braces on visibly. I think the idea is that King wasn't paying for it, so she went to some fly-by-night back alley dentist or something. I don't know. I guess those exist. Yeah, I suppose. But it's like, oh, he needs braces. He can't afford them. He has braces. He's wearing them. Yes. But I guess they're not good braces, or you can't get them off for some reason. Right.
01:14:09
Speaker
So now back at their place, they decide to, again, go back to the plot they briefly teased in the abandoned, which is reforming the King's posse, which leads to more of a monetizing they got for anything else, including training, weirdly enough, where the random people come in and they get beat up or mocked for some reason. But meanwhile, also, they've lost a member.
01:14:32
Speaker
Ah, yes, of course. Because Gordy's dad stops by and just, like, arrests him, basically. Says he has to be trying to be a cop. And Gordy just goes, okay, I guess that's what I'm doing now. They, like, go over to Gordy's place, and he's completely given over at this point. He just looks over at them and says, well, my dream was stupid. You guys better get out of here before my dad shoots you.
01:14:54
Speaker
Plot points in this movie just kind of happened because they're like, oh, we need, we need this part of a traditional sports movie. We need the moment where the hero doubts his dream, but they don't have anything that that's happened that would cause him to legitimately do that. Right. So they just haven't happened anyway. Right.
01:15:12
Speaker
Also, it's not as a major plot point as you would think, the idea that he wants to become a pro wrestler. I mean, he likes wrestling. I mean, I like wrestling, but I'm not going to become a pro wrestler. I don't think before that point that I had actually heard him say, I actually want to be a pro wrestler. Right. I just knew that he liked pro wrestling. Yeah. His career was running that sewage truck business, which he then ruined, of course. He seemed satisfied with it up until the point that they wrecked their truck. Yeah. Yeah.
01:15:39
Speaker
So he's not being pulled away from his dream of becoming a wrestler to become a cop. He's pulled away from the job he can't do anymore because he wrecked the truck that allowed him to do his business. So it's not really like he even gave him his dreams, per se, either. Yeah, but apparently his dad talks to him one more time after probably a lifetime of talking to him about pro wrestling being stupid and most likely holding a gun to his face the entire time because that seems like what his dad would do. But this time he's like, oh yeah, you're right.
01:16:06
Speaker
Yeah, Gordy's also pressured because apparently he has two sisters that we see in all of one scene. Yes. Apparently they're also cops. Yes. And they leave the dad bragging about how he shot her for his perp. Yes, that's right. I forgot that scene. They're just sitting in their full cop uniform, including the sling glasses at the dinner table in the house when he walks in and out. Yeah, there's so many moments in this movie that are like screwball comedy things. Yeah. Not vague sports movie things.
The Royal Bash Setup
01:16:34
Speaker
Again, they can't decide what it wants to be. Yeah.
01:16:37
Speaker
So now having not really trained all that much, and basically picked three random people to be their posse, including this lady in a silver bikini, just because. I guess they're now ready for the pay-per-view main event, which was in the show called, what, The Royal Bash or something? The Royal Bash, yeah, I don't get why they couldn't use an actual WSW pay-per-view title. It's your company, did you sue yourself? Let's stop you from doing it. Like, why isn't it Sambury? Yeah. Or? Starcade. Starcade, yeah, exactly.
01:17:06
Speaker
I mean, you can't be worse than the actual Star K99, can you? It'd be tough. Yeah. Why would Sinclair name his pay-per-view, which had to have been advertised before this challenge for Jimmy Kea, in a way that references the character that he kicked out of wrestling? Yeah. There's no other person that this could be referring to in WCW at this period, right? I mean, well, I guess there is Prince Iakea.
01:17:34
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think you'd be naming a painting after Prince Iachea. And plus he's, I think at this point, the artist formerly known as Prince Iachea. Maybe not when this was being filmed. Not when this was filmed, but by the time this is out, yes.
01:17:46
Speaker
But the best rationalization I can come up with is that I believe they just came out with a pay-per-view for that Nitro, where Zuma and Jimmy King beat someone to retain the world title. They don't really say this, but given the timeline, there's a gap between shows. There's no pay-per-view that they miss. They go from Nitro right before this movie happened.
01:18:09
Speaker
And obviously they're famous, as we've noted, for promoting a show based purely on a name on the show. Fair enough. So they might have said, go see WSW's Whirl Bash on the previous pay-per-view. Yes. At that point, Jimmy King's still a part of the company. And the next night they do the whole angle where he's fired. And that kind of works unless you look at it logically and assume that Titus probably knew he was going to be firing Jimmy King. Right.
01:18:35
Speaker
It's also worth noting that the graphic looks eerily similar to King of the Ring. It does. It's the gold crown outline and it's almost the same purple. It is, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the recruitment montage is just completely unnecessary. It just bloats the movie with a few one-off joke characters that they proceed to do nothing with.
01:18:56
Speaker
But talk about those, there's jokes and bits they borrow from the movie. They could kind of cliche the recruiting people thing, but there's a bit in Mystery Man, which came in 1999, where they grew a bunch of superheroes. They don't actually, other than the one who joined the group, don't pay off. So I don't know if it's ever been that off, or just a massive cliche.
01:19:13
Speaker
And also I can't fail to mention King's training method that they show in the not quite training montage version two is him running alongside Sean who's on a bike. Oh yes. And being followed by the three kids from earlier in the film also on bikes. Yes. The three kids are barely pedaling and still threatening to out distance King. Yes. Yeah, it's the worst version of the punch out training montage I've ever seen.
01:19:40
Speaker
Speaking of the posse, by the way, so I get that King was invited back because he's definitely meant to be beaten up and or killed. I kind of can rationalize Sean and Gordy being allowed, but what's with the other three people they brought with them? Right. Yeah. Why do you allow them in? Yeah. Yeah. Especially if King's right and Titus wants to kill him, you'd think he'd want to minimize the number of people that can fight back. Yes. It's very strange.
01:20:05
Speaker
as teased earlier, yet the second of two scenes involving the Brittany and Wendy characters.
01:20:11
Speaker
And which, Brittany suddenly is interested in Sean now that he's been on TV. You know, she clearly doesn't watch the show. I guess she could have heard he was on TV, but why would she care? Because she's clearly not interested in wrestling. No. From the earlier scene that I barely remember happening. Yes. But yeah, so I guess maybe you can reason that, what's her face? Wendy? Yeah, Wendy. That Wendy told her about it, maybe, because they seem to maybe possibly be buddies.
01:20:37
Speaker
Yeah, it's unclear why they are because they have nothing in common. And yeah, one of them hates the hobby of the other one. Yeah, and hates and hates the people that want to clearly love with you. Yes. So they're getting where they send off.
01:20:51
Speaker
The gruff cop dad allows Gordy to be driven there and tell them they can't go, which seems like something he would not do. It's actually a very nice thing for him to do, right? Yeah, like a final send-off, this guy who's in danger. It's weird that he drives in there personally. Yeah. It's not like they show him, like, sneak away, and then he, like, hears a cop radio, I gotta go, but he's looking for me. Literally driven there in a cop car. Yes, by the dad, yeah. Yeah, by the dad. It's not like he sneaks out and then gets caught. No, no. Right.
01:21:19
Speaker
Okay, so Wendy's second of two scenes involves her being up with Sean and saying she has a present form, pushing him inside the RV, and then we have all the wrap-up stuff with Gordy, and then the RV drives away, but then Sean, off camera, tells him to stop, and they both got out of the car. Naked. Yes, because she is wrapped, and they wrapped it in the, I think it's the NWO sheet, I believe. It's a wrestling, like, big blanket. I think so, yeah. I think it's NWO. We should be Wolfpack at this point. Just thank you, this will be even more.
01:21:49
Speaker
Like, don't land your back with the wolf pack, you know? No. Okay, with a try. But yeah, she whizzes him good luck and then he leaves her with the blanket and runs the end of the RV. Hey, she wanted to see Scott Khan's butt. Or Scott Khan's double's butt. I guess it's at least maybe slightly progressive that it's the guy that gets shown nude on screen. But not in any great way, let's put it that way. No, no.
01:22:15
Speaker
We're now going to the final pay-per-view and we've left Gordy behind and have Sean, who has had none of the plot buildup whatsoever around his character as now the main non-wrestling character. Yes. Who I guess is now a wrestling pimp. He dresses as the godfather. Yes. That's true.
01:22:39
Speaker
So now they're in Las Vegas, which I feel like it's not
Sting's Confusing Cameo
01:22:43
Speaker
a place they have a lot of big shows at. I'm sure they had some there, but it's not like an iconic WWE location. Right. Yeah. Like the Omni. They were just thinking, Hey, where's big places that they hold important fights? Yes. And they knew about boxing. So they went to Las Vegas. Yeah. Same difference. Yeah. Totally.
01:23:03
Speaker
And this is also the point where we finally see Sting for about like 30 seconds. The icon. Yeah. One of the most famous performers in WCW history and one of his most successful and proudest achievements shows up in its movie like close to two hours in. Yeah.
01:23:19
Speaker
being threatened by Titus Sinclair backstage, you better not interfere, which, again, gets at, like, okay, so who's the audience for this thing, right? You've taken the time to kind of establish your main characters over the course of this, and you've got the idea of, you know, you've got Gordy and Sean, you've got Jimmy King, that you've told us who he is and shown us things developing in his life and everything. You've told us things about his relationship with Goldberg. We may not know who Goldberg is if we don't watch WCW, but we know that
01:23:47
Speaker
Goldberg exists and used to be Jimmy King's partner. But if you are coming into this movie and a poor unfortunate WCW fan in your life has invited you to see this movie, but you are not yourself a WCW fan, lucky you, you get to this scene and you're like, who's the dude in the face paint?
01:24:04
Speaker
Is the crow in this movie? Because they do nothing to tell you even who Sting is. I can't actually remember if Sinclair even says his name. No, I don't think he does, no. But even if he does that, they have in no way informed you of anything about this guy. The only way you know that Sting at this point is known for fighting against evil authority figures is if you have been watching WCW for years. Yes. But if you have been watching WCW for years, by this point you have walked out of this movie. Hopefully, yes. Right. Yes.
01:24:33
Speaker
They could have at least helped a little bit during the betrayal bit. Cut to the rafter to show Sting up there looking displeased. Right, yeah. That kind of would work. Or show him actually coming down to try and stop it or just something that establishes that Sting exists, for one thing, and is at odds with Titus Sinclair. Yeah.
01:24:54
Speaker
Uh, even if he doesn't necessarily like Jimmy King. Yeah. There's nothing. There's nothing that says that. If you hadn't had broken poor Giovanni Spear, you could have been like, where's Sting? Sting should be helping out here. Sting is the butch. Yeah, if he wasn't in the throes of a deep depression at that moment, he might have thought to say something like that. Yeah.
01:25:11
Speaker
I know. It's like if you were doing Lord of the Rings and instead of entering Aragorn and Brie, you wait until like the hobbits are in Mordor approaching Mount Doom. Yeah. And you cut to Aragorn staring into the Palantir that you have not been introduced to either and having a having a verbal sparring match with Sauron. And you're like, who the heck is this dude? Yeah. Right. It's it's that. Yeah. It's it's so out of nowhere that he's just suddenly at this movie. Yeah.
01:25:43
Speaker
Again, like previously, we skipped all of the build-ups, so sadly, we can't do a full fake review of those heavy royal bats, because they only give us the one match to go over. That would be interesting, for sure. I think it is like showing snippets, and they can infer like, oh, here's this guy wrestling. Let's put this kind of match with him. Yeah. It made fun for us, but no, we had to ruin it. Thanks, movie. Should have known we would do this.
01:26:05
Speaker
Yeah, we just cut to Sinclair revving up the crowd for a match that none of them would actually care to see. Yes. We do get a shot of King's parents have apparently come. Yes. Because I guess we needed that subplot back in the movie. Yeah. There's also an old lady that they showed briefly during the original Nitro, who it's late 90s, early 2000s. The joke is he's the only that swears. Yes. And that's basically all. That's all that we get. Yeah. So we see this thing assembled over the ring.
01:26:34
Speaker
the triple cage. This thing is ridiculous, right? It's the retrofitted version of the triple cage of Doom from WSW in section 96. It's a large cage over the ring and the ringside area, kind of the hell in the cell type of thing. And then it has a smaller cage that's maybe closer to the normal ring-hugging cage type.
01:26:57
Speaker
on top of that. Correct. And then a yet smaller cage on top of that. Like a small room basically. Yeah, it's just like a single little room on top of that. This thing's bonkers. Yes. And had to be terrifically expensive. Yes. And I will say it's not actually, I don't think it's actually the one from Uncensored because the one from Uncensored was... Oh yeah, I tried to fit the idea that having a triple cage. Right, yeah. The one from Uncensored is like even the whole way up.
01:27:22
Speaker
That's true, yeah. Every cage is the same size going up the whole thing, where this one has bigger, medium size, and then small. It's the Goldilocks Story version of cage matches. Yeah, yeah. Sure, there you go.
01:27:34
Speaker
This is probably the second most realistic thing in the movie outside of Sid getting fooled by a dummy. Yes. Is that WCW waste an enormous amount of money on this massive cage for a match that involves a guy that's not even employed by the company and that you're apparently planning to murder. Yes. Well, as a counterpoint, they have no intention of letting him win the match. So for that million dollars they're going to pay him, they don't have to pay him. Fair point. So I guess they spent the million dollars on a cage.
01:28:03
Speaker
Actually, how much did the $24 million budget win to this cage? Yeah. Probably a good amount. 22? Yes. Probably. No. So our fourth and thankfully final match, which I guess is actually a match in this case, is Jimmy King versus Diamond Dallas Page in a triple cage match of doom for Page's WCW World Heavyweight Championship.
01:28:28
Speaker
We actually do get Buffer in the movie. He's doing the ring announcing to make this movie much more expensive. Yes. Sean accidentally catches on fire during King's entrance thanks to King's Pyro.
01:28:40
Speaker
shades of The Undertaker awfully enough? Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the F, yeah. Paige doesn't have his usual music. I'm not sure if this is music he was using at some point in 99, but it's definitely not the normal Nirvana ripoff. He had the Self I-5 music in 99 for sure. Yeah. He only gets that.
Copyright Concerns and Music Changes
01:28:58
Speaker
With the intro, it's a Self I-5. So I guess someone involved in the movie actually realized that song was a massive copyright infringement.
01:29:05
Speaker
Yeah, my working theory is that, so they credit Dweezil's Apple with writing this song and the credits. My working theory is that when they're putting the movies together, they heard that song and said, we can't use it. We can't do that. You, you, rewrite this now. Yes. Because all the rustling themes are credited to him in this movie. I know he didn't write the original themes. Yeah. I think the gold war one is even slightly written as well.
01:29:32
Speaker
Buffer gives us his usual catchphrase. Yeah, that's $50,000 right there. Yep. Tony Schiavone, of course, still looks like he's in the throes of a massive depression. You OK, buddy? Do we also know that they're wearing generic, like, what, pale green WCW shirts? It's weird, right? Yeah, it's like these dull brown or green. Yeah. Like, armor fatigue. Yeah, yeah. It's like they look like they're working for UPS or something. Yeah, yeah. I have never seen them dress in anything remotely resembling a uniform announcing. They're always dressed slightly differently from each other.
01:30:02
Speaker
I can maybe see they might wear something more casual over Nitro, but they're on a pay-per-view, they always dress up within them. Yeah. Even if it's like Dusty's thing where he'll wear a suit jacket and then blue jeans. Right. That's still an effort there. It's very strange.
01:30:17
Speaker
King and Paige fight. Paige mostly kicks King's butt. Paige goes to cuff King to the cage, but Sean throws powder in his face. And while Paige is laughing about that not actually being a real thing that works, cuffs Paige instead. I did find that a little bit funny.
Chaos in the Cage Match
01:30:32
Speaker
Kind of made use of the wrestling's not real mockery that's going on for the movie, but the character actually cleverly takes advantage of it still. So, fair point there.
01:30:43
Speaker
King goes to climb for the title, but various DDP goons come in to interfere, and King fights them off with a ladder. One of the goons, though, turns out to be King's son. So, King stops fighting and gets beaten up. He can't hit his own kid. No. And of course he's hitting the balls again. Yes, yeah.
01:31:00
Speaker
But Goldberg, Kidman, Disco Inferno, and Booker T come down to interfere, but they can't get in through the cage, even though it was open moments ago. Yes. To recap, our villains ran down, used bull cards to open the cage, the brand inside beat them up, and then I guess someone back in and locked it after they did that. I guess so, yeah.
01:31:18
Speaker
But fortunately, Gordy arrives, driving on the back of a police motorcycle, and runs the door down to break them in. Yes. I'm sure that's something that would actually work. It comes flying off a ramp. Yeah, it's amazing. Yes. And that's stupid. It's not that good. Amazing.
01:31:33
Speaker
The faces beat up the heels and we see the police and their police station, including Gordie's dad, watching on TV and cheering Gordie on. Sasha appears and tries to come on to Gordie, but gets clocked with a ladder. She just walked in, I guess. Yeah. In the middle of a match. Yeah. Having seen wrestling shows for presumably her entire career. Yeah, exactly. Thinks that this is a safe thing to do. Yeah.
01:31:56
Speaker
Paige and King make it to the second of the three cages and brawl up there with weapons. Paige strangles King with a noose and makes it to cage three, but King goes up after him, only to be thrown all the way back down. Paige reaches for the belt, but suddenly Sting swings down from the rafters and boots him off of the cage. So he swings in like Tarzan? Yes. Which Sting definitely did. He never did just rappel straight down with a safety harness on.
01:32:24
Speaker
The boys meet staying downstairs and... But he decks them.
01:32:48
Speaker
Yeah, that whole thing with that. They'll seem to play that weirdly weirdly. It's a weird bit. Yeah. Kim decking them is pretty funny, but... Yeah. They talk about like, you know, you love you, man. You love each other. You know, it's this guy who's loving each other. He looks really annoyed at that. He puts that last bit and then punches them. I'm like, uh, do we need to talk about something's name? I think it's more intended to just be that they're very annoying. Maybe. It just... But I get your point. Yeah. It feels really weird. I'm not saying for sure it is, but it feels weird.
01:33:16
Speaker
Meanwhile, King and Paige climb back to the top of the cage, and Paige punches King down, but King punches him in the diamonds. King slams Paige and sends him all the way through the cages to the mat. In the world's softest body slam, in the center of the cage they were standing on moments ago, and it breaks through all three layers. King reaches up, takes the belt, and wins the match. New world champion and a million dollars.
01:33:46
Speaker
And again, to restate, when Titus was setting up this match, he said, all you have to do to win the belt is survive. But apparently someplace along the way it became a climb for the belt type of match. Yes. They would use this, actually did reuse this cage for other things besides that kind of thing. Like War Games 2000 they use it for. And the gimmick of that one is you have to get to the top, get the belt. But all that really matters is if whoever walks out the door with the belt... You actually have to get back down and out the door of the cage with the belt.
01:34:14
Speaker
Although in that one, again, they don't say you have to be the one that carries it all the way down. Just whoever walks out with the belt. Right, yeah. But to get it, someone has to go up there. Right. So thoughts on this bit? The buildup is kind of interesting. It looks like a big pay-per-view spectacle. This is definitely the kind of craziness the WCW would actually put on pay-per-view, yeah. Correct.
01:34:36
Speaker
DP and Kanan definitely work a decent match around all the silliness, like the ladder of spinning around bits and everything. It's nice to see people like Booker T and Kidman at least get to do something in this movie a little bit. It is funny, later on you can see them still fighting even as the match is apparently won upstairs. And it's like, you guys know match is over, what are you guys doing?
01:35:01
Speaker
It's weird that they, going back to the point where they have to recruit the posit to help him out, who then immediately are stuck outside the giant cage. In fact, other than Sean, have no bearing on the mattress. Right, yeah. They're like firemen guys. They don't matter at all. No. They recruited these guys.
01:35:19
Speaker
Why? Like you're going to have just some WSW guys come down to help him. So why not just have them be the recruits to begin with? Why not have him just call Booker T and company and say, Hey, would you guys mind helping me out? I'm sorry for what I've done. You could address the problems between Jimmy King and the other WSW guys. Yeah. But you leave that subplot and instead recruit a bunch of comedic characters that you proceed to do nothing with. Yeah.
01:35:44
Speaker
I could see if they really wanted to have this stupid comedic aspect with the posse. Like when the bad guys run out to interfere, have them like them and maybe Sean say like, Hey, stop. And they're like, knock immediately knocked out. Yeah. Yeah. It's like they could joke about how they brought a positive technically at nothing. Yeah. But they just stand there while it's happening. Even once the cage is open, they don't go inside and help at all.
01:36:09
Speaker
Yeah, there's decent action you can actually see, but there's a weird bit for the cutaway. So, assuming this is not a real cage for working a match like what they do on the next HyperView.
01:36:20
Speaker
You can gimmick it heavily, because it's all just being shot with movement. So why can't you gimmick it so we're canon as stunned over a flat, takes a quick fall, like four foot back fall onto a mat area that looks like the cage. Instead of showing him to be punched, and then going, ah, and then he's on the cage, like he fell. Yeah, there's little cuts here and there that make this harder to follow than it needs to be. It's weird to see WSW when the camera cuts away from something you need to see. It's really uncommon.
01:36:51
Speaker
Yeah, maybe it's just them imitating the actual wcw there The director is like i've watched your show. This is how your show looks. Yeah, it could be dp is the same way he gets kicked by Sting who swings in like tarzan and then he also falls at the same point. Yeah. Yeah You do at least see the longer fall at the end the um body slam one that shouldn't actually cause that to happen Yes, but you do at least get to see that one. So they they managed one of them But yeah, it definitely feels like there's weird cuts in this match that just like
01:37:20
Speaker
you lose bits and pieces here and there. And I realized, again, we're trying to like fast forward through what would be if this were an actual match, probably a half hour or something like that. You're trying to get through that in like five minutes. But yeah, it loses something in just being like smash cut at various points.
01:37:40
Speaker
Again, we're getting into this whole, is wrestling real or fake? Because we've got them putting on this big spectacle and everything with the rules, which I guess, sure, you can say maybe you could actually do that as a real fight or something if you're assuming that these people actually are superhuman, which we're apparently supposed to buy now.
01:37:59
Speaker
But everyone's, again, doing loads of wrestling moves in this match. When everyone's brawling, they're like, aha, I'm so angry at you that I'm going to do a body slam or I'm so angry at you that I'm going to, you know, do a suplex that you have to cooperate with me in. Yeah. Well, it just doesn't work. Well, it's like you have when Gordie comes in, helps out as the law. He spears your king's son. And, you know, that apparently is very effective.
01:38:26
Speaker
In contrast to Gia Gober, who you can really believe him actually said, spearing you.
01:38:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's all done in this style. Like, if this is a real fight, the action should look significantly different than a wrestling match. Yeah. Because a wrestling match is, again, performance art. Yeah. You know, it can be brilliant, but it is not an actual fight. Right. And you're going to do things completely differently in an actual fight than in a wrestling match. Yeah. See the brawl for all for comparison. Yeah. So they're behaving as though this is still the performance. Yes. Even though the story of the film is that this is a real fight.
01:39:00
Speaker
Yeah. They could maybe get away a little bit if they had put like an insert bit. Like, put a pause in after both King and DP fall to second level and they're like, stunned for a bit. Cut back down to the bottom part of the ring where they realize they're fighting each other. And I have them like, joke about how. We gotta keep going because the people are watching.
01:39:17
Speaker
Right. Have them actually say, oh, it's a do something to suggest this is now just a match. Yeah. Yeah. Like we're like, we're cool, right? Yeah, of course. And then that, you know, go over to spears a guy. Yeah. Yeah. Couldn't be worse than what they did as far as mudding the water as a real and fake. Yeah. Because they have no personal stake in any of this. They're just people that work there.
01:39:36
Speaker
So they basically need to contrast that. It would arguably try to help your whole, this fight appears real thing. Because you're showing huge people fake fighting for fun. And then you actually saw something more brutal looking up there or something like that. Yeah. Good work.
Critique of Disjointed Plot
01:39:51
Speaker
And then my other big problem with this is we've got King's entire victory. This is his supposedly huge hero moment, but his entire victory is dependent on Sting just kind of showing up to save him despite no prior build to Sting giving the slightest crap about saving him. This would work if it was Sting was the guy that he went to see at the gym instead of Goldberg or something along that line or
01:40:16
Speaker
They decided to do Jimmy King as the main character of this movie, and they set him up as a dude who has a 14-year career in WCW, has been there for ages, and has had multiple wives. I think this is part of Jerry Lawler parody and part of Ric Flair parody. If Jimmy King was originally written for Ric Flair and he just said, I'm not doing it because you guys are insulting me,
01:40:37
Speaker
then staying, just wanting to save him makes sense. Because you can pull on their gears of relationship, but you just have to kind of imply that that kind of exists with this and they fail to even do an implication.
01:40:51
Speaker
When on top of that, Thing has to save him for this match to be won. It's not like King, you know, having learned his lessons from all the training he didn't do, is able to fend off paid, but then someone else interferes, gets up there and hits them. So Thing has to be kicked that guy off. At this point, it's an even match. Yes. And King is just losing. Correct. He's just actually going to lose. Yeah. When Sting comes down. It's not like there's still the interference going on with them, right? Yeah. Exactly.
01:41:18
Speaker
It robs what could be kind of a hero moment for King. If Sting swung down to save him when the big multi-man assault on him was going on, that'd be a different thing. But it's taking away from your hero moment. And it purely exists because you had to have Sting in this movie because Sting is WCW.
01:41:39
Speaker
You can't ignore the awkwardness of how this whole ending plays out as well. This movie was, I don't know if it was written, but it was definitely shot and released after the own heart incident, where he falls to his death, unfortunately. And here you have a dramatized version of something body-slammed and falling, we had 20, 30 feet straight down hitting the mat. And it's like a year out from when that happens, when this movie comes out. Definitely too close for that kind of thing. It's definitely a,
01:42:06
Speaker
I don't think they're referencing that. Not intentionally, no. And I imagine they weren't thinking about it, but it's something you really should have considered. This is a very recent incident where someone plunged quite a distance to his death. And having that sort of incident in this film is
01:42:25
Speaker
Rendering cartoonish a very real tragedies correct I don't I don't view it as a malice thing like they're no make fun of it But yeah having your big finale involving a similar looking incident looks bad. Yeah, true
01:42:41
Speaker
Speaking of Sting, I did some research on other appearances he's did around this time. So there's two notable ones I have to talk about. To remember this movie, they had David Arquette appear on Mad TV, where he did a parody where he was playing a Mexican wrestler named L.A. I actually remember this one happened. I watched Mad TV back then. I mean, the joke is that it's potentially bad. It's just stupid regardless, but yeah. He's doing this thing and him and I think it's that Will Sasse are both doing this character they've done before.
01:43:08
Speaker
And they're up by Sting who comes out legit and goes like, what are you guys doing? And he's like, and he's like, oh, I'll play here. And then he sort of chastises him. And that's his appearance and the show. It'd be ready to get our catch. At least it's a good appearance. Okay. The other one is I just actually bitches to watch this last night. It's bizarre. This happened a little after this movie comes out. So there was a show called Arl Stein's Nightmare Room. I think I've heard of that one. Yeah.
01:43:31
Speaker
A lot of them are based on actual or Stein stories. This one actually wasn't this episode called the tangled web. The premise is that this kid played by the eldest son and Malcolm middle. Okay, which as a little side note features the Bret Hart putting the structure on Chris Benoit in their intro. So more rustling connections. Okay. So he's this kid who he's lying about everything. And he seemed to get away with it by the substitute teacher played by David Carradine.
01:43:58
Speaker
This is weird. He seems to believe him, but it's clear that there's more to this. All his crazy lies, like he makes a lie about someone, like, people breaking in, robbing his house and stealing his math homework. That of them seats start happening, like in real life. Oh, okay. So at one point, he lies, but it says he knows Sting. Later on, his buddy's like, hey, WSTB is coming to town. You can just call Sting and we can get tickets. He'll be back to aid his, oh, no, no, I can't do that. I accidentally gave someone Sting's email address, and he got like a million emails, and his computer crashed.
01:44:28
Speaker
Don't even get into the hell that's supposed to make any sense. But that's a lie, obviously. Eventually, when that's what was happening, eventually he figures out, oh, I can say this didn't happen, I can do all these things. And does all this stuff like he has an evil brother and all this stuff. And then suddenly he's at school thinking he's happy, then Sting like kicked down a door in the hallway and says, you ruined my computer, I got so many emails. And he's like, oh crap, I forgot about the Sting part.
01:44:55
Speaker
So the visual is this kid running down a crowded hallway at a high school, being chased by Sting, who's yelling in the same deliver every time, I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you. OK, that actually sounds kind of awesome. Yeah, you can watch on YouTube, by the way, if you want to see. I watched last night. I had to get the context of Sting as himself on an Arl Stein show.
01:45:18
Speaker
Yeah, so it's all eventually resolved, but yeah. Sting chasing this kid while no one seemed to give a crap. And Mindy, this comes after his famous sprite commercial, your face. Yes, yeah. Where the kid drinks Sprite and Sting shows up, and then you don't have to wrestle with them. Whereupon Sting seems to beat the crap out of this kid and throw him around. Just hilarious. One of the best sprite commercials ever made. Yes. Aside from that and also apparently playing a biker on Walker Texas Ranger. Yes. That's what Sting was doing around this time. Okay.
01:45:50
Speaker
So in the aftermath, Sinclair is down on the brink side saying he made wrestling and he's not gonna wait with this, whereupon Gordy and Sean, hint of a couple times and then toss him into the crowd. Who are definitely going to savagely murder this man, right? Yes. He drops the ground, they're clearly kicking and punching him. Yes, yeah. Yeah, Gordy and Sean are like, no, you don't make wrestling, the fans make wrestling, and then they throw him to the wolves. Yes.
01:46:17
Speaker
Inside the ring, there's a big celebration, a lot of Starrcade, especially a bit of Starrcade 3 almost. Yeah, yeah. With Flair in the ring after beating Harley Race. Goldberg now apparently respects King for being beaten up and immediately saved by Sting and seemingly almost murdering his colleague. Well, I guess it was a dick, so it's okay. Yeah, you know, it's fine. Yeah. He goes, I want to be your partner again. And King goes, no, no, I got a new partner. And he grabs Gordy and says, yeah, he is the law.
01:46:49
Speaker
Bad tactical move, man. Yes. You've got two choices for partners, David Arquette and Goldberg. Yes. Definitely take Goldberg. Take the mountain of muscle. Exactly. You don't have to get along with him. He doesn't like you, but yeah, he definitely better pick. Yeah. Also, since when is Gordy gainfully employed by WCW?
01:47:10
Speaker
I guess now. And Sean apparently as well as his manager, which I forget what he calls him. Oh, sugar daddy. Sugar daddy, yes. They're both apparently hired by WCW because Jimmy King says so. I guess, yeah. Because the owner of the company is apparently dead now. He's in the crowd being torn apart by the Savage fans. I like to picture that Jimmy King's parents are participating in that. Yeah, yeah, they're going to be good.
01:47:34
Speaker
I should also note that they do actually show, very briefly, D.A.P. being helped to the back by somebody. So he is basically walking off that dramatic fall. Yes. I mean, with assistance, but yeah, he's saying, yeah, yeah, it's a couple minutes gone by, I'm good. Well, it was part of the match script, so he knew exactly where to place the mattress for him to fall on. Oh, okay.
01:47:54
Speaker
After all that's wrapped up, we then cut back to the convenience store where the same kids from earlier are talking to Sean. So was this whole movie just the story they told them? Cause this framing wraparound thing is a little weird that they cut back to it. Like that's a thing. I feel like it's supposed to be happening later that they've actually legitimately gone back to it, but you can see how that would look like that though. I could see you saying, yeah, that it's.
01:48:15
Speaker
The one thing that makes it clear that this is not the same night is that Gordie's dad came by at the beginning and was clearly aggressive against Sean. But during the match, we're seeing that he's come around. So that makes it clear these must be two separate nights. It's sad that I have to use that to establish it. In the intro, we have them, then a dream sequence, and then back to reality again. You can see how reality is totally muddled by this.
01:48:43
Speaker
They, somehow, don't believe that Jimmy King is really their tag partner, which, then on TV, right? It was just one time. It was pay-per-view with their kids, so maybe they didn't catch it. So this is like the next night on Monday night, I guess? Yeah. So naturally, this is explained as being real by the guy being thrown through the doors of the convenience store he works at, by Goldberg and Jimmy King. Now, I love Goldberg and all, but...
01:49:06
Speaker
It really, if we want to tie things back together, shouldn't it be Randy Savage there? It should be, yeah. Yeah. Also, it's not a crime of a wrestler, does it, right? Yeah, I believe so. I mean, ask the guy who threw a big rock through a McDonald's window. Ken Patera. Ken Patera, that ended well, right? Yeah. Yeah, he just walked it off, yeah.
01:49:25
Speaker
Yeah, so now everyone's gotten their wish, including Sal, who apparently is in a hot tub that is built in the back of the Hummer that they drove there in. Which I guess the kids didn't see. You'd think that would be a fairly obvious sight. Yeah, maybe they looked over and saw a hot tub in a hot tub and they'd be like, nah, let's look over here. Yeah, let's avoid this. Don't make eye contact. That seems like it will scar our impressionable young minds. Yes.
01:49:48
Speaker
So that's the actual movie. During the beginning of the credits, we do get some bloopers where they mess up lines and they're editing a bit where all of our plot while doing a fake punch, legit punches for Andy Savage. Yes. Who immediately apologized and Savage just seems completely unphased by it. Fair enough. Fair enough, yeah. The blooper reel is way better than the actual movie. It is, yeah. And they do seem to be having fun, so fair enough. Yeah, yeah. I often enjoy bloopers, but I wasn't expecting to enjoy a blooper reel for a really terrible movie. Yeah. But it actually is fun to watch. Yeah.
01:50:19
Speaker
If only that had been the whole film. Have been nice, yeah. Yeah, so that's ready to rumble. Oh, go. So for me, the film doesn't work. As a comedy, it's just a really stupid, kind of irritating comedy. It's like dumb and dumber type of level of humor. Right. But not done well. No, exactly. It's like a copy of a copy. It's the worst version of this. Yes. The characters are unlikable. I mean, there are likable characters like said in Dumb and Dumber where you can enjoy the movie for that.
01:50:49
Speaker
There's really not anyone here that's likable. And on top of that, as you mentioned throughout, there's a number of stuff that you just ripped off from one of the movies directly or indirectly. You have the stink finger thing, nice way to put it, which is a version of a Soviet bear joke in Mallrats. Not a great joke, but a better joke than this at least.
01:51:09
Speaker
As I mentioned, the basically stealing galaxy quests just in long is kind of weird for this movie. All the other just narrow jokes about nuns and everything like that and just fart jokes and you know all sorts of crass stuff that's not very good. Yeah for every like single joke that actually lands there's like 10 that are just crude and stupid.
01:51:29
Speaker
And it's one thing when it's like a bad comedy, but like you're enjoyable people in it. Like you like an actor and you can, you can sort of enjoy it for that, but not really hear you. No, no. As a wrestling film, you get a lot of the big stars, but as we have made point very clear, it makes fun of the audience. It makes fun of the sport they're doing. It can decide whether it's real or fake.
01:51:53
Speaker
It's weird that so much of the movie is built around Jimmy King character who's not a real wrestler. Exactly, yeah. And a parody of a wrestler at a different company. Yes.
01:52:02
Speaker
Also, do a number of reasons, mostly do the timing and probably just poor planning a dubstep use part. I have a list of stars who should be, but are not in this movie. Okay. Bret Hart. Yep. Scott Steiner. Yep. Rick Flair. Yes, definitely. Hulk Hogan. Mm-hmm. Bobby Heenan. Yep. Jeff Jarrett. Yep. Uh-huh. Dusty Rhodes. La Parca. Are you kind of glad La Parca's not in the movie, though? I am, yes.
01:52:27
Speaker
Eric Bischoff. No, technically, I think Eric Bischoff was fired by the point this movie. The timing is there's a reason. The timing of that is probably what some people aren't there. But yes, I think it's rumored that he was originally going to be playing the role that ended up at the Sinclair. I find it hard to believe that the studio would cast him, though. But, you know, they put DP in a prominent role as good as DP is. It's possible. I feel like he might push that rumor more than anyone else does. Possibly. Yeah, I feel like he would do.
01:52:55
Speaker
Yeah, ultimately the movie's not very funny. It has a few bits that kind of work throughout. It makes the characters unlikable, so you really don't want to see most of them succeed. And it insults the audience, so it's not like it's a bad comedy for wrestling fans. It's a bad comedy against wrestling fans. Right, yeah, exactly. It's just bad. Okay, strap in. All right.
01:53:22
Speaker
So there's bad movies and there's bad movies. Oh yeah. This is more towards the former. Yeah, sure. It's competently filmed at least. There's no major technical issues aside from some iffy filming during the final match that isn't anything worse, like we said, than what you see from WCW's actual camera crew. Agreed, yes.
01:53:41
Speaker
The acting, I can't call it good, but it's only bad because the script itself is bad. The actors themselves are clearly playing the characters as they've been written and deliver their lines just fine. It's not their fault that the characters and the lines are awful. I will tell you skimming through reviews from the time.
01:53:59
Speaker
You don't see much praise in the acting in the movie as a whole, but the common theme you'll see from Iber and other people reviewing the movie at the time is they liked Oliver Platt. They thought he committed the role really well. And Martin Landau in his brief pit really stands out. Yeah, I mean- That's it. I can't compliment or insult Martin Landau's bit because it's so tiny. He's enjoyable in his small part, but yeah, it's not- Yeah.
01:54:22
Speaker
So technically then the film works. It's just that the script, the general plot and the editing are really bad. And those are exceptionally terrible and even actively insulting to the intended audience. Agreed.
01:54:34
Speaker
Like you pointed out, this is blatantly a movie intended for wrestling fans, and it spends most of its runtime making fun of them. Yeah. Gordy and Sean are morons. Yes. There's some small attempts to awkwardly shoehorn in some sympathy with Sean missing his departed father, but that gets a couple mentions, and honestly, the sewage truck wreck has played more for laughs than for the tragic loss of Sean's last memento of his dead father. Right.
01:54:58
Speaker
Gordy, meanwhile, they're going for kind of a finding your way in the world story with him. He's in conflict with his dad for what he wants to do with his life. But both Gordy and his dad are so extreme and ridiculous that it all falls flat. Yeah. Otherwise.
01:55:13
Speaker
What are they? They're two idiots who insist in the face of all evidence and even when told directly by the performers that wrestling is not a performance but an actual athletic competition. And in fact, Gordy does so with clear anger issues. Yeah. They're pretty much directionless in life. They scam people. They engage in infantile and dangerous pranks. They have less than positive interactions with women. Yes. They abandon responsibilities. They break promises. They get other people engaged in fights that they don't even want. True.
01:55:41
Speaker
About the only positive quality that either of them has is that they keep believing in Jimmy King, even when he's at his lowest, and do, against all logic, help him turn his life around. True. Yeah, yeah, sure. But even that is really kind of an expression of how foolish they are, that they just can't accept that their hero is not and never really was their hero. They are idiots engaged in a fantasy world, not selfless heroes. And that is what is being said about wrestling fans in a movie made by a wrestling company. Yeah.
01:56:11
Speaker
So who comes off well here? Gordie's dad is an over-the-top power-abusing jerk. Sinclair is the villain. DDP is the secondary villain. Sasha is the tertiary villain. Almost every other wrestler hates kings, so they're quaternary. Yes, that is the actual word. Villains. Fair enough, okay. Sal is a horrible, abusive old man. Brittany, your fellow fast food employee, barely exists, as does Sting.
01:56:35
Speaker
Yeah. So I guess Goldberg comes off okay. Yeah. And King starts off a selfish jerk who ran out on people that he should have supported, but he does at least improve over the course of the film. Yeah. I will say, how hastily they wrap up the movie, you don't actually see proof that he helped the family. True. Hopefully he did, but they don't show them in a mansion or anything. That is true.
01:57:01
Speaker
It's just kind of a strange film. It's like you were saying, what is it trying to be? It's full of contradictions. It's kind of a screwball comedy, but then it tries to shoehorn in these little deeper moments. It can't decide whether wrestling is real or fake at any given moment. It uses King's family to show how he doesn't live up to his fictional story, but makes their situation comedic rather than sad, and uses his abandoned son as a villain for a weird swerve. Yes. Also, how does Titus know about his son?
01:57:29
Speaker
don't know. Okay. Maybe they talked about it to Sasha at some point. Sure. Camera. It tries to have important character moments like Shawn recognizing that the girl he was pursuing isn't the one that he should, but both her and the girl he ends up liking are in two scenes. True. It develops Gordie's relationships much more, but then he just kind of disappears from the movie for a little and Shawn ends up much more important going into the finale. Yeah.
01:57:51
Speaker
That last part's spectacularly weird. Arguably, Gordy and Sean are co-leads, but looking back on the movie, it feels like they put all of the character work into Gordy. He has the conflict with his dad, a question of what he wants to do with his life, a conflict with Sasha. He has the driving force behind the quest to go after Jimmy King. Well, Sean is just kind of going along with him. Sean gets a very brief mention of his dad being dead and a couple quick scenes with two girls who are barely in the movie.
01:58:19
Speaker
It's very strange when the clear main character just exits the movie then as we head into our conclusion. Admittedly, that's probably why he comes back pretty quickly, but still, it robs things of momentum. Put another way, Gordy spends the whole film being Luke Skywalker. But then he gets Han Solo's role in the final scene. He's the assistant, not the lead all of the time. Apologies to Luke and Han.
01:58:46
Speaker
It feels like scenes are often in the movie out of obligation, not because they make any sense. Gordy has to have a moment where he questions his dream, but we're desperately out of time, as Mr. Shivani would say. So we deal with that doubt mostly off-camera, and he's back. Yeah. King needs a trainer, so let's get him one, but let's not really show him training much at all, because we don't have time for that, because it's time for the bad guys to do something nefarious, and we decided they should beat up the trainer, but we got, like, a scene ago. Yeah.
01:59:14
Speaker
We need to show the group gathering allies actually developing the characters? Nah, it's enough that they exist. And anyway, we're gonna have a bunch of random WCW guys running for the final battle anyway. How do we find King? It's the 90s. Find a hacker kit to use for one scene. It's just kind of a movie assembled by throwing darts at sports and comedy movie tropes, but without thinking about how they all fit together or what scenes might tell us about the characters.
01:59:40
Speaker
Like I said before, take the recruitment bit. They spend a while going over all these weird characters, but the main match allies are going to be the WCW guys instead. So, why not have the WCW guys come in and say, hey man, we don't like Sinclair and DDP either, so we're in.
01:59:54
Speaker
Yeah. When you need us, we'll be there. Yeah. You cut like four to six useless characters that way. Yeah. And you don't want to use your trainer extensively, so just don't have one. Have, I don't know, Goldberg help King get back into shape. Like, I won't help you fight, but I'll help you be ready to fight. Yeah. Or just have Sean and Gordy work with him. That's fine. You don't need an old man trainer just because Rocky had one. Yeah. That's what this feels like. Well, such and such movie had this, so let's do that.
02:00:22
Speaker
They didn't put together a script that worked for their characters. They put together a bunch of scenes that felt like they should be in a sports movie and then slap their characters on top, kind of. And now the elephant in the room. Jimmy King. Oliver Platt is a perfectly fine actor and he does his best with this, but it's just weird, right? Every other wrestler character in the movie is an actual WCW wrestler. Could you really not write your main wrestling character for an actual wrestler too?
02:00:51
Speaker
I mean, I get why none of them would want to play it with the way that you wrote him as kind of a horrible jerk and liar in the early going, but just don't do that. Pick a guy that you think can do it, like, say, Goldberg, who's quite a focal point in the movie anyway, so you clearly think he can act, and to be fair, he does quite well.
02:01:09
Speaker
Make the plot about him getting betrayed and losing his confidence and leave it at that. Or go with Sting. Or, you know, go with who you clearly wanted to go with, Ric Flair. Yeah. It's just jarring to see WCW wrestler after WCW wrestler in bit parts or occasional starring roles, see DDP. Yeah. And then look at our lead good guy wrestler and see this weird Jerry Lawler, Ric Flair parody, and be asked to actually care about what he's doing when he does not remotely fit with the WCW scene's atmosphere.
02:01:37
Speaker
Yeah. He's an early 80s gimmick, stuck in late 90s WCW, and they're trying to make him fit just by having him rap and swear.
Oliver Platt's Mismatched Portrayal
02:01:44
Speaker
It would die a death, like we said, with actual wrestling fans at the time. Yeah, look at Rocky Mike's ears. See how that worked out. It doesn't work. No. Oh, sure. It's just a bad film. Yeah. And a bad film that's insulting to its intended audience and clashes with its intended concept. It can't decide what it wants to be. It can't decide who its main character is. It can't decide what its concept of wrestling is.
02:02:06
Speaker
It's not among the worst movies I've seen, but that's just because I've largely, thanks to you... You're welcome. ...seen lots of really awful movies. Yeah. I mean, once you've seen Actia Maximus, War of the Alien Dinosaurs, your perspective on filmmaking kind of changes. Right. And you start to appreciate basic technical competence a lot more. Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah, absolutely. But it's far from good. It comes off as clueless, disinterested, and disrespectful of the very fans in Art of Pro Wrestling that it is portraying.
02:02:34
Speaker
This is the kind of film that you make to mock an industry, not the sort of film you make when you are one of the top three companies in that industry. Yeah. It's really not worth the time to watch it unless maybe the riff tracks crew does it at some point. That'd be worth it, probably. Well, it's not a normal show, but let's try to retain some normalcy if we can. Let's do Match the Night MVP.
02:03:00
Speaker
So there's no great action, I'd say, any of this, really.
Lack of Actual Wrestling
02:03:04
Speaker
I guess if I'm picking from the small bits you have there, which is weird to think, I had a little wrestling in a wrestling movie. It is strange, yeah. Yeah. It's like they realized it harder was to shoot wrestling, as if the wrestling company couldn't tell you how to shoot wrestling. Right. I think solely because he's in it and not anywhere else, I have to pick the first one.
02:03:23
Speaker
with Randy Savage, just because Randy Savage is there. They answered the dream sequence. The dream sequence brawl, okay. Yeah. Even it is weird seeing Randy Savage taken out with his own diving axe handle. That's true. By Oliver Platt. His brief screen time brings so much star power that it then suddenly disappears from wrestling movie. Okay. For mine, it's WCW versus the entire wrestling fan base. Okay.
02:03:49
Speaker
This whole movie was probably intended to be a tribute to wrestling fans, but it portrays them as complete and utter morons, unable to accept that their favorite show is an act and prone to fits of anger and violence. Arquette and Khan's characters are the worst stereotypes of wrestling fans in WCW's own movie. No wonder WCW went out of business.
02:04:08
Speaker
But seriously, if I have to pick from the matches in the film, I'd say the first Nitro match between King and DDP. It actually has kind of a flow to it. It portrays something close to the actual art of pro wrestling and it shows some fun behind the scenes stuff with them calling spots. The betrayal attack is completely over the top and it's ridiculous that they keep doing pro wrestling moves when it's supposed to have become legit. But at least it has a followable plot. Sure.
02:04:33
Speaker
All right, that's fair enough. MVP, for me, I think I'm going back to where I was on, actually it was the last show, wasn't it? It seems so long ago. I know, it really does, it's weird.
02:04:44
Speaker
For completely committing to the character, good or bad, right or wrong, I have to go with DDP because he commits to every aspect of him being evil, dashed to the heel. He turns real violently, needs to for the betrayal. He's willing to make himself look dumb, you know, walking around with the toilet seat wearing on his head during Nocturne by Jimmy King. He plays every bit of this character to a T for me.
02:05:09
Speaker
I don't think he's maybe the best part of this movie, but he creates himself as well as he can in this situation by committing to this dumb ass movie. Yes.
02:05:17
Speaker
I am in 100% agreement my MVP is Diamond Dallas Page. He's one of the few wrestlers that's given a prominent role in the movie and he gives it his all the whole time. Like you said, his role is not well written, but he's doing his best and he still manages to do his usual DDP stuff, including his great timing on various spots and some actually really excellent selling. Like when he's stumbling away at the end, he's doing the usual DDP, I've been beaten down kind of selling job.
02:05:44
Speaker
rather than not caring, because it's a movie instead. He actually bothered to try here, and it's a good thing that they picked him for this. It just serves to highlight how dumb it is that they didn't pick another wrestler for the king role, because you clearly have people that can do this. Well fortunately, I realized that Eric Bischoff did not have authority to overrule me, so sorry Al, I'm taking back over. That wraps up our review of Ready to Rumble.
02:06:13
Speaker
If you've enjoyed listening to us tonight, you can find us on Twitter or Facebook as Let's Go to the Ring. Links will be available in the episode description. Follow us for episode announcements and other show details, and share your own thoughts about the Slamberees as we go through. You can subscribe to our show on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, High Heart Radio, Spotify, Stitcher Radio, TuneIn, Verbal, or Audible.
02:06:38
Speaker
And please, if you've enjoyed this show, give us a rating or review, and share the show through your favorite social media platforms to help others discover us. Many thanks to OSW Review for attendance and pay-per-view figures, and to Gina Trujillo for our logo. Next up, the final Slamberee. Slamberee 2000, brought to you by Western Union Money Transfer. Quite appropriate, since WCW's plans leading up to the show would transfer quite a lot of money out of their bank account.
02:07:08
Speaker
Well, at least we don't have to watch any more of David Arquette in a wrestling ring, right? About that. Oh crap. Yeah, sorry. This is Bob Moore for Alec Pridgen, signing off. Good night, everybody. Happy wrestling.
02:07:33
Speaker
The faces beat up the heels and we see the police, including Gordie's dad, cheering him on. They're watching TV in a... Ah, let me start again.