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22. How to Carve Your Own Path on Your Spiritual Awakening Journey
26 Plays2 years ago
Hi beauty! Have you ever had a friend send you a podcast episode or a book recommendation that changed their life but when you to listened to it or read it, it fell flat? Me too! and it's okay!
This is because we're all going to be drawn to, influenced by, triggered by, inspired by, initiated by different people, topics, and energies on our spiritual path.
In this episode I share parts of my spiritual awakening, how we can be influenced by so much information online, how to tune into what YOU like, what excites YOU, and how to find your own way on your spiritual journey. There is no right way, we'll all just being led back to our soul's Truth.
book--> When did you ever become less by dying? AFTERLIFE: The Evidence, by Stafford Betty: https://a.co/d/7lbnofb
Connect with me: www.instagram.com/iamellisamae
Book a Human Design or Gene Keys Reading with me: https://calendly.com/byellisamccoy
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Transcript
Introduction to 'It's Happening For Me'
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello, my friend. Welcome to the It's Happening For Me podcast. If you are obsessed with all things spirituality, personal growth and development, and living as your highest self, you are in the right place.
Discovering True Path through Spiritual Awakening
00:00:14
Speaker
I am your host, Alyssa, and I spent the majority of my teenage years and young 20s living totally out of climate. As I started to question my patterns and behaviors and actually got to know myself at the soul level, I realized that everything was happening for me.
Role as Spiritual Life Coach and Human Design Guide
00:00:30
Speaker
Now, as a spiritual life coach and human design guide, I am here to share my voice, personal stories, human design wisdom, and learn from incredible individuals living their purpose. Join me each week as we walk the spiral path of purpose together. I cannot wait to dive in.
00:00:57
Speaker
Welcome to another episode of the It's Happening For Me podcast. I'm your host, Alyssa, and I am so happy that you're here today.
Navigating Confusion on Spiritual Paths
00:01:05
Speaker
So today's episode, I wanted to talk about this idea of how to trust ourselves on our spiritual journey and how all of our spiritual journeys are going to unfold so differently from each other. And sometimes it's
00:01:26
Speaker
First of all, it's confusing AF, like on the spiritual path. And we're always growing and evolving. And sometimes we can compare ourselves to other people or we can feel like we're far behind or like things aren't changing or things might get like really difficult in one area of our life. And we're just like, what is going on?
Importance of Self-Reliance in Personal Growth
00:01:47
Speaker
And so I just wanted to talk about today, especially since yesterday was my 34th birthday.
00:01:54
Speaker
So, yay, Capricorn season. I have really had this theme in my life of self-trust and self-reliance, especially starting about like six months ago. And I've talked about this in other episodes, but
00:02:13
Speaker
I've had this epiphany around six months ago where I was like, okay, I have been investing in myself so much into programs, coaching, learning from other people that I needed to come back to a space where I am fully embodied in trusting myself and really tuning into what do I actually want, what do I need, and ultimately, I'm the only person that can decide that for myself.
00:02:40
Speaker
Since that's been such a huge, really incredible path I've been on recently, I was like, oh my God, this, I really feel called today to talk about the spiritual journey and how we can really tune into ourselves and trust ourselves to follow the path that is ours, which is going to be so unique from everybody else.
Energy Differences and Personal Resonance
00:03:02
Speaker
Okay. So have you ever had the experience where your friend sends you like a podcast to listen to or a song or a book recommendation and they're obsessed, like they're fanatic. They're like, you have to listen to this. This literally changed my life. Like listen to it immediately and let me know what you think. And so you're like, Oh my God, like amazing. And so you listen to it and right away you're like,
00:03:30
Speaker
I don't get it. Like I don't resonate with this person's voice. I don't like how they talk. I don't know what they're talking about. I don't care about what they're talking about.
00:03:41
Speaker
Um, or if it's a book, like it's super hard to get into it and you're just like, no, like I don't get it. That has happened to me so many times or like both ways, like people giving me recommendations, like my mom or a friend sending me something like, Oh my God, like you, I listened to the best podcast episode. Like you're going to love her. And then I listened to it and I'm like, I can't even get past like 45 seconds. Like I just know that it's not for me and.
00:04:10
Speaker
That doesn't mean that it's any less relevant for the person who sent it to me. Or sometimes if I think something is like really, really funny, you know, like a hilarious meme, I'll send it to George, I'll send it to my mom's, a friend, and like their reaction is just like, not at all what I wanted. I'm like, why don't you think this is funny? Or like, how do you not get this?
00:04:32
Speaker
And what I realized is that we're all so energetically different that even if it's our best friend, even if it's someone who knows us so well, our mom, our partners, there's just certain things that they're not going to resonate with. And it's because our energies are so different and our paths are so different. Our life paths are so different.
00:04:54
Speaker
Like what we need, what our soul needs to grow and evolve is so different. What we need to trigger us is so different from what someone else needs.
Parallels Between Reading and Spiritual Exploration
00:05:02
Speaker
Our life experiences are so different. Our humor is so different, even if, you know, we share a lot of similar things in common. And so, you know, really realizing this, it's like, it's almost like we can fall into a trap
00:05:19
Speaker
of what we think, quote unquote, spirituality is when we are so inundated by everything online, like on social media, because everyone is constantly sharing things that they're just obsessed with and that, you know, oh my God, this is like the newest thing that I found and like, it's so good. And then it like contradicts something else that you already really liked or it's, you know, it's just like, it's like,
00:05:41
Speaker
so much, just so much information and so much that we don't resonate with. And it's like, how do I know what to do? How do I know what to follow? And so that's what I really want to talk about in this episode.
00:05:52
Speaker
is how to tune back into yourself and start finding things that you really like. Another example is this. I used to love to read when I was a kid. I absolutely loved reading. I read so many books and I think I just read really typical kid books. I remember reading The Box Car. I think it's called The Box Car Club Kids or something where it was
00:06:19
Speaker
I don't know if they were orphans or they were those little kids that ran away from home, but they would find a box car and live in it. So I've always fantasized about, oh, well, I guess if I was stranded somewhere, I could make the best of it and go get my own food and have little supplies and create a little home inside a little box or something. I've always thought about that because I just love those books.
00:06:41
Speaker
What was the other one? Sunnyside High.
Initial Interests Post-Spiritual Awakening
00:06:45
Speaker
That one where it was about high schoolers and there was a building that was 30 stories high, but it was missing five floors or something, and it was just really kooky, like teachers, and all these crazy things would happen. I don't remember the exact name of the book, but I loved those series. I loved
00:07:04
Speaker
Girl Scout Club series, all of those. And so anyways, so I loved reading. And then when I got into my teenage years and I wasn't reading as much and I wanted to get back into reading, I could not find a book that I liked. And so I just thought that I didn't like reading, but it turns out that I just didn't know what I liked. I didn't know what I was interested in.
00:07:28
Speaker
And so it just took experimentation to find like what I liked. The same thing happened to me when I was, you know, I had a spiritual awakening and I was like interested in all of these different spiritual things, but certain topics like just didn't hit for me. I was like, I don't get it. Like I never really got, and I still don't really get like astral traveling and
00:07:49
Speaker
kind of like more heady topics and you know things that are like out of this body or like aliens. I've never really been into like aliens or like extraterrestrials or like traveling like in different galactic places. I don't even think I'm saying that right because honestly I've also always had a fear of space.
00:08:09
Speaker
I've never been someone that was like, oh, I would love to like go on a ship and go into space, like 100%. I, you couldn't even pay me. I would never want to do that. So like, kind of like aliens and all of that kind of stuff. I've never really been interested in. And not to say that I don't believe in them. I've just have never been like drawn to like star seeds or, you know,
00:08:32
Speaker
like things like that, I just was never really interested in it. And what I really started being interested in was the first thing that I ever studied when I first had my spiritual awakening was chakras. Like when I got a book on the chakra system,
00:08:52
Speaker
And it was honestly like I couldn't put it down. I remember I was on a work trip and I flew I think to like San Francisco or somewhere to Northern California and I had this book on the chakras and I was obsessed. Like as I was reading it, I was like, this makes so much sense to me.
00:09:10
Speaker
How each one was related to different body parts and different psychological things we go to and there's different foods that you can eat and they can be like overactive or underactive they can be blocked like you know how do you.
00:09:24
Speaker
get them aligned. All of those things I was obsessed with and it felt like I was coming back home to myself. It felt like when I was reading it, it just made so much sense. There was no doubt in my mind. I wasn't questioning it. I was just like, I feel like I'm reading true wisdom. Same with Ayurveda. That's the second thing that I really fell in love with was Ayurveda and just learning
00:09:50
Speaker
all about the dosas and how to eat for your mind-body type. I loved Sahara Rose's books on it, her cookbook on it, and then I found other books I loved. That felt so true to me and so real. I felt like, again, it was this ancient wisdom that I was coming back to. Then when I would study Buddhism, that felt really freaking real to me.
00:10:17
Speaker
meditating, meditation, yoga, kundalini yoga, those were things that felt so true and real to me. And it also felt very lonely because when I was on this path, I had absolutely zero friends who were also interested in this. This was in the time of my life where I was living in Bakersfield. I had already met
00:10:44
Speaker
At this point, I had already met George. I was dating George. I had stopped drinking alcohol. That had already cleared up a clear connection and channel for me to start getting to know my higher self and to start to have a deeper relationship with God's source universe because I wasn't always intoxicated. I actually had a clear channel.
00:11:08
Speaker
I just started feeling very connected, especially when I would do yoga. I did yoga at the college. I was in a course and then also would go and do these free classes at night. That's where I really felt very connected to my body and to God through my body.
Personal Connection with God Beyond Religion
00:11:24
Speaker
It was weird. It was wild. It felt
00:11:27
Speaker
again like safe coming back home to something being very held it felt very divine it felt very sacred it felt and it wasn't like the yoga i was doing wasn't like
00:11:40
Speaker
I'm not a huge yoga person, so I don't even know the names of different yogas, but it was more of the slow, restorative one. I don't think it was Yen Yoga, but it was very slow. There was a lot of breathing and a lot of deep stretching, and it was very calming. It wasn't hyperactive or really difficult.
00:12:00
Speaker
So anyways, that just felt so freaking good. And yeah, it felt also at the same time very lonely because I didn't have anyone to talk about these things with. George was interested in these kind of things, so it was something I was kind of doing by myself, in my free time.
00:12:19
Speaker
I would listen to Sahara Rose's The Highest Self podcast. So I was getting all of that super cool knowledge and wisdom and all of the guests that she would interview. And so I was learning about all of these different ideas and all of these different practices and different types of spirituality. So that was really cool. And then I feel like the biggest thing that all kind of started this as well was when I had my
00:12:48
Speaker
I had a course with a professor. I didn't have to, but I wanted to take a religion course, but I wanted to take one that was like, I wanted to learn about all religions because before this, I had grown up
00:13:05
Speaker
Christian, which I also talk about in other podcasts, but I was pretty involved. Well, kind of. It's weird. I was pretty involved in the church because I was a minister's assistant, but at the same time, I never studied the Bible or really did anything outside of that. It was more of a volunteer basis. I would always feel a connection, even though it wasn't really the God that they were talking about.
University Course and Spiritual Awakening
00:13:31
Speaker
There was a disconnect there, but
00:13:33
Speaker
like at every service I would cry because I would feel like I was getting spoken to. And just the energy of people. We went to a very beautiful Lutheran church where it's like very open-minded and people were just so loving. And it wasn't one of those mega churches that's like kind of for profit. That's like really gross kind of to me.
00:13:54
Speaker
Um, were they like seeing and like, you know, have like a band and stuff. It was more like traditional. So it just felt like kind of sacred, I guess. And so I always felt we would, there was this prayer we would do where we would all hold hands, the whole congregation, close our eyes and sing this prayer before we took communion. And I swear it, like the energy felt
00:14:18
Speaker
like we were connecting to Scott, like to source God. It felt so potent. Like I felt like it was a heart opener. Everybody's hearts were open and we were thinking, we were using our voice, we were connecting, we were holding hands. Like it was very beautiful. And so I always felt very connected in that sense. But I also always felt like there was something more. I didn't really feel super connected in terms of like,
00:14:48
Speaker
the, I don't know, the traditional religion. And so I wanted to take a religion class when I was at university, but I wanted to learn about all of them because I wanted to understand like, what is this unifying, what are the unifying principles that they're, that they're all so similar? Like what are they based on? Because there can't only be one truth. I just did not believe that one type of person, one race, one
00:15:16
Speaker
geographical location had all the answers and everyone else was wrong. That did not make sense to me. And so I found this course, which was all about life after death. And I was like, oh my God, I am obsessed. I want to know what happens when we die, because I really didn't not know.
00:15:36
Speaker
The only real experience that I've ever had with death was actually a very beautiful experience that just shows me how tapped in I already was before, which we all are. When we're born, we're already souls. We're already so tuned in. It's just that we have this damnation. Forget why we're here. That's what makes us on this path of seeking our whole lifetimes to come back to self and to source.
00:16:00
Speaker
When my grandfather died, I believe I was like 22, possibly 23, 21, around there. The year, I'm not great with remembering the year since I have undefined head in Oshawa.
00:16:14
Speaker
What are the facts? When my grandpa died, we flew to Nebraska to be with my family and to go to the funeral. This was my first experience with death, with someone that I knew. I was very emotional. I was crying a lot. I think that has to do with the fact that I have an undefined emotional solar plexus.
00:16:37
Speaker
I'm amplifying the feelings of everyone around me and actually like nobody was really crying. I was kind of like the one crying in my immediate family like the whole time.
00:16:48
Speaker
And I realized that I felt so at peace because I knew that he went somewhere better. I knew that wherever he went, it was love. It was light. It was somewhere that was just so beautiful that I couldn't even describe or understand, but I didn't have any fear. It was more like crying
00:17:10
Speaker
and feeling tears of like joy and just like love to celebrate the life that he had but knowing that he was still with me very much and I was still very connected to him and he it was safe and like it wasn't scary which is very weird to have like an understanding like that. The other thing is too that at that point I was very still kind of like indoctrinated in Christianity and I really thought that like oh to go to heaven you have to um you have to
00:17:40
Speaker
say out loud that you like accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and then oh you will be saved. And so since he was a man that went to church, he was involved in church, he was a really like such a beautiful soul, like farmer, till he passed away, such a hardworking man, so connected to the community. But anyways, I knew that he was religious and that he believed in God. And so for some reason that made me feel safe, like, okay, yeah, like
00:18:09
Speaker
I know that he does believe in God and accepts him and so he'll be fine. So that was the only experience I had with death.
00:18:22
Speaker
I sign up for this course, and it is all about life after death. So the first couple of months, we learn about all of the religions, all mainstream religions. We learn about the similarities, we learn about what makes them different, and we find those unifying, universal
00:18:43
Speaker
truths that they can all agree upon and there are some like there are some yeah there are some differences between different groups but there is a lot of similarities between all of them and then the coolest part of the course is we read
00:19:01
Speaker
So we read my professor's book. He spent his entire life, first of all, studying all religions and then realizing there's something more, there's something more.
Spiritual Beliefs Beyond Christianity
00:19:14
Speaker
So he went on to study what happens when we die. And so he studied the afterlife. He studied near-death experiences, bedside visions, what happens
00:19:26
Speaker
when people are dying on their deathbed, like what do they see? And there's so many similarities. So he's just studied this his whole life and has so much research on it. And he studied mediumship. He studied like reincarnation stories, like where people like are seemingly having memories of
00:19:47
Speaker
a life, like a past life of someone who people recognize. And so it's just fascinating. And his name is Stafford Betty. And the book that I'm talking about is called When Did You Ever Become Less By Dying?
00:20:02
Speaker
afterlife the evidence and so I'll put that in the show notes. It is honestly the best book I've ever read and that is what catapulted me on my spiritual awakening because before that I didn't really like I was still stuck in the paradigm of like Christianity of like going to heaven and then there's a hell
00:20:21
Speaker
And it was honestly really hard to break out of that mental structure. It really was. I felt a lot of guilt. I felt a lot of... I was questioning myself like, wait, what is this new information that I'm learning? Because in Christianity, they teach you
00:20:40
Speaker
don't look for other truths, like don't read other religions or like don't read up on other stuff, like only believe in God, one God, anything else is like...
00:20:53
Speaker
not good. And so it was kind of scary to explore this, but I just remember having this moment in the car where I was like, oh my god, what if there isn't a heaven and a hell? What if Christianity isn't the truth? What if that is an organized religion meant to
00:21:14
Speaker
control people you know like it was this mind fuck moment to be honest where I was like what is going on like is my whole life a lie is everything that I believed in all the the years I spent in confirmation and like Bible study you know
00:21:30
Speaker
even though I never studied it outside of actually going to those classes, I did spend a lot of years in those environments. And so I was like, it's what I'm doing bad right now. It was very confusing. And so if you are on the spiritual journey and you are alone and you don't have friends yet or other people that you can talk about going through this with, if your family's very religious, if
00:21:55
Speaker
Yeah, if there's just no one that you can reach out to, just know that it's totally normal to feel very confused and to be like, what is going on? And it doesn't mean that I think that the Bible is a lie or that Christianity is BS. It's not that. It's just that
00:22:12
Speaker
after really learning about all of them and seeing that there are these universal truths, I do believe in reincarnation, and I do believe that our souls came here for a reason. We keep evolving. I believe in past lives. I believe that we are here to learn lessons and to continue to grow.
Influence of Professors on Spiritual Views
00:22:28
Speaker
And then also, it's like, obviously, who really knows? I can't prove that. There is no way to prove these things. It's just what makes the most sense to me in this very moment on my evolution.
00:22:42
Speaker
Anyways, as we're reading this book, I was starting to awaken to this whole other world. It was crazy because in the past, I would think mediumship or tarot cards was evil. I thought that was demonic. Obviously, I would still never use a Ouija board. I'm scared of that.
00:23:07
Speaker
I just remember psychics, mediumship, tarot. I thought all of those things were demonic and super evil. Another really funny part of my story is that I took this class and this is where I was being awakened to everything. My mind was being freaking blown open. I was like, holy shit, this is crazy. I'll talk about the other books that we read in that class as a class because those are what really helped me on my spiritual path as well.
00:23:37
Speaker
to just make sense of everything because it's very confusing. But I also had a teacher, I think I also talk about this a lot, but I had a professor who I was taking a women's religious studies class. And so we would learn all about the conservative, the moderate, and the feminist point of view.
00:23:57
Speaker
in every different religion for women, mainstream religions. It was very interesting. I learned so much. It's crazy. It's crazy to see how a lot of women, a lot of religions control women. It's crazy because a lot of women who are in
00:24:19
Speaker
like certain conservative religions, they don't feel like they're being controlled. Like a lot of them like it. A lot of people are very happy with their lives, but there are also a lot of people who are not. And so it's just, it's very interesting. But anyways, so I had so much respect for this professor. She was probably like in her thirties at this point. I think I was like 20
00:24:41
Speaker
eight years old. And so she was like a little older than me, maybe like 30, 35. She had such a cool style. Like I freaking love how she dressed. Like she was just, she was cool. Like she was badass. Like when I would see her, I remember first seeing her before I took the class and I thought that she was like a student in the hallway, but like a really cool looking girl, like woman. And then I found out that she was a teacher and I love how I would see her with her students and I loved how she like
00:25:07
Speaker
ran the class. I'm like, I've never seen a professor like this, you know, like a young, really cool, like woman. And so, you know, taking the class with her and just like learning about her and like her, how she taught like on so many different perspectives and was so open minded. I just thought that she
Introduction to Tarot
00:25:26
Speaker
was so cool. And I had so much respect for her, so much trust in her. So on the very, and she never tried to convince us of anything because she would never tell us her personal stance. Like,
00:25:36
Speaker
She was very open and empathetic for all different points of view. And then on the very last week of class, she was talking about witches and she was talking about green witches and all the different kinds of witches that there are. And she let us know that she herself is a green witch.
00:25:56
Speaker
which is she was talking about how she studies like herbs and she loves to make different like herbal remedies and she loves gardening and she loves plants and like plant medicine and she loves cooking and stuff. And it was so freaking cool because I was like, Oh my God. Like at that moment in time, I was still very confused and convinced that tarot and like witches were evil.
00:26:23
Speaker
you know, because that is what we're taught to believe, that they are evil, that it's demonic. And when she was telling me this, I was like, oh my God, like no way, like how could she be so cool and like so normal, but also be a witch? Like that's, it was blowing my mind. And then she passed out different cards, different stuff for like show and tell, and she passed out tarot cards. And I remember that's the first time I had touched tarot cards because again, I thought they were evil. And I was like, oh my God, these are,
00:26:51
Speaker
This is so cool. Like I was like, wait, these aren't evil. And she was talking about how it's like a tool, like a divination tool to like really connect to our higher selves, to spirit. And I was like, wow. And so that's the first time that I saw in person and was like open to this, these new ideas that I once was like very conditioned to think were like weird or like evil. And so, um,
00:27:17
Speaker
So I just thought that was so cool. And I thought it was so powerful how she didn't tell us until the very last week. And she even told us this because she didn't want to influence our decisions or have a bias of anything. She just wanted to present all of these ideas to us and help us learn about different ideologies and then see where we fall ourselves. So that was really cool.
00:27:42
Speaker
The reason I say this is because when you're on this journey, there's going to be certain things that come on your path that you might not resonate with or that you might think are like weird. Like if somebody else were to introduce me to Tarot or if I was to just try to like, I probably wouldn't have never just like been drawn to like look into it myself, but it's because this very trusted person that I had a lot of respect for,
00:28:07
Speaker
loved it so much and just was speaking such good things about it and she's just such a beautiful light. I was like, wow, like that influenced me. And I needed that experience to be open to this. And now I love tarot. I love Oracle cards. You know, one of the first things that I did when on like my journey is I read tarot and I would go to Balboa Park and like set up a little booth next to George when he had anime world. And I would read tarot for people. And it was
00:28:37
Speaker
Incredible. Like it was incredible how many people are open and they're seeking. There's so many seekers out there. They're seeking for answers. They want guidance. And so many of the things that, like the themes that they would ask me about, guess what it was? It was purpose. Okay. Which is fucking crazy. This is before I was on this journey, this like purpose journey. I wanted to find my own purpose, but this is before like,
00:29:06
Speaker
This is before Dharma Coaching Institute. This is before any of that even existed. And I'm like, oh my God, everybody wants to know about their purpose. And so I would read tarot and I would help them. And it was always to draw them back to themselves, always to draw them. This is before I knew about human design. This is before I knew about how to teach them about their authority to make correct decisions for themselves. And we just read the tarot. We had
Common Themes in Tarot Readings
00:29:30
Speaker
conversations. And I always directed them back to themselves.
00:29:34
Speaker
What do you want? What do you want right now? What excites you? What's more interesting? Why are you picking that choice? Do you feel pressured to pick this choice? For example, I had so many people who were like, I had a lot of girls who would be like,
00:29:50
Speaker
I'm starting or like I'm either starting college or I'm in like blah, blah, blah year of college doing this program. But part of me wants to quit everything and like go be a nomad like photographer. Like that was one specific girl. And she's like, but I just like don't know what to do. I don't think I can do that. I feel like I have to like finish college. And so we would just talk about it. Like, why do you feel like you need to finish college? Like what?
00:30:15
Speaker
Part of it is making you feel like that and a lot of times it was parental pressure pressure from society Fears like limiting beliefs around like oh, well I can never just like be a nomad or like I can never make a lot of money from photography or you know, I could just could never do this and it always Came back to those limiting beliefs and so it's just wild and I also had so many readings people would ask me about relationships and
00:30:42
Speaker
So his purpose and then relationships was the next one. It was like, should I stay with this guy? Or what do you think about this real situationship that I'm in? And so we would draw the cards and we'd be like, hey, this X, Y, and Z is going to unfold if you continue on this exact path. Is that what you want?
00:31:01
Speaker
you know, or do we need to look at why are we attracting these types of people? You know? And so it was fascinating and it was, it was really, really cool. And where I'm getting with this is like, I, when I was reading Tarot for them, I was brand new. I didn't know what I was doing. I had no training of coaching. I had no, um, like understanding of human design,
00:31:31
Speaker
So it was like, I didn't really know at the moment all of these different things that could help me help other people and guide them to find the correct decisions for themselves. But I had tarot and guess what? The cards always gave the truth. The cards always gave the truth.
00:31:48
Speaker
Like it always either confirms what they already know, or it gives them a way to reframe or think about situations in a different way, which then helps them open up their minds like, oh, wow, like other possibilities. And so my point with this is like, on the path, like it's so important that we use whatever tools we have, like
00:32:11
Speaker
other things are going to open up for us down the line. Like who's to say what we're going to be interested in, but don't compare yourself to other people who are interested in like all of these things. And they have like, they know so many different modalities, but maybe you just really love one thing. It's like focus on that one thing because that one thing is literally all you need.
00:32:33
Speaker
to unlock truth for yourself and to help others. Like literally, that's all you need is just one thing that you're obsessed with and then everything else will unlock down the line. And it keeps growing on itself, which is also so crazy. So yes, so those were the two things. So those two professors like really helped me on my spiritual path.
00:32:55
Speaker
And so if you're feeling alone right now, because again, like I was saying, during those times, I didn't have any friends to
Loneliness and Community in Spiritual Journey
00:33:02
Speaker
talk to. Literally, there was no like online community that I was a part of. I think Sahara Rose was creating Rose Gold Goddesses. And so I joined that when it first started and I did make two really good friends from that.
00:33:16
Speaker
like online friends, obviously. But even then, we didn't talk often. And so I was very alone for a couple years, truly, seriously alone. But what I would do is I would journal, I would draw my tarot and oracle cards. I would draw pictures. I would go on little guided journeys by myself. I remember
00:33:38
Speaker
This is the coolest shit. Okay, another little tangent. Plant medicine. So I, at this moment in time in my life, do not feel drawn to plant medicine. I have not. Up until this point, I've actually felt like I don't. I actually have a strong desire to not do it. And I feel like for me, I just have this fear that it would unlock something
00:34:01
Speaker
like psychosis or it would unlock something crazy. Like I feel like I do not need it. And I have, okay, so in my 12th house in astrology. Okay, I forgot where I was going with that. But okay, so I have my south node in the 12th house in Leo.
00:34:23
Speaker
And so I've been told that probably in past lives, I was a very spiritual person and I was used to like really being alone and being like in my spiritual pursuits. And with my North node and Aquarius in the sixth house, I meant to move towards more like physical routines like being in my body and the day to day and also like with others. And so.
00:34:47
Speaker
I forget where I was taking this, but I actually had to pause it for like one moment to do something. So I completely forgot where I was taking this. But anyways, so yeah, so if you feel alone, again, I'll just say like, if you feel alone on your spiritual path, just know that there's going to be a time where you do start making friends with like-minded people.
Views on Plant Medicine
00:35:14
Speaker
And I would just recommend joining communities of people who have the same interests as you. Whenever you're trying to figure out what next thing you want to be interested in, just see what lights you up and what signs open up for you. Because there have been so many things where I'm just like, I'm not that interested in that. I don't know.
00:35:35
Speaker
For some reason, so far I have not been super interested in womb healing and the divine feminine sacred womb type of stuff. I just haven't been interested in that either. What I find myself most interested in these days is really connecting back to myself through
00:36:00
Speaker
meditation through breath work. I have the most amazing breath work practice that I've been doing for the past couple of days. And it's been really like making me feel super connected. Okay, sorry, I just remembered I was talking about I was talking about plant medicine. So let's just talk about plant medicine real fast. So I have
00:36:17
Speaker
not been called to do plant medicine. I've never done ayahuasca. I've never microdosed mushrooms, psilocybin, nothing. I used to smoke weed when I was younger, but that's not for any sacred reason. But I just do not feel called to it.
00:36:39
Speaker
I don't feel like I need it. I feel like I have had so many super cool experiences meditating, doing breathwork, just signs that I get in my day-to-day life. I feel so connected to God's universe. I feel so connected to like angels. I get signs all the time. Like I said, angel numbers, words,
00:37:02
Speaker
I just know things. I feel very connected to nature when I'm out with the trees or going on a really pretty walk next to water. I feel very connected. Something's always holding me. I feel very held. I've done a lot of energy work. I've done a lot of stuff with Quantum Reiki. I felt very tuned in and tapped into that to the point where I'm like, I don't feel the need that I need it. I actually think that it would lead to some sort of psychosis for me. I really do.
00:37:31
Speaker
I have an aunt on my mom's side and there's a story where when she was a teenager, she went on this date with this guy and then she came back and was never the same.
00:37:47
Speaker
And they think that she took LSD or they think she did some sort of drug on a date and the guy gave it to her and she tripped out. And then I think she went to a mental institute and she was never the same again. And so if you're just hearing that, I've always had this thing inside of me as a kid where I was like,
00:38:05
Speaker
I will never do psychedelic drugs like even growing up in high school and like in college. I had so many friends who would do mushrooms not even not like micro dosing but just like actual doses of mushrooms.
00:38:21
Speaker
like acid and I would be with them and I just would not participate because I had no mother effing desire. Like none. I just never wanted to. I never felt peer pressured. I just never wanted to. And I think that my soul knows what's best for me. So if you
00:38:40
Speaker
are seeing all these people who are claiming to be like new age shamans and they're doing like ayahuasca ceremonies at their house like and you don't feel called to it like and you're like why don't I feel like called to this probably because you're just not meant for it and if you do feel called to it I highly suggest doing so much research and actually going to another country with actual like
00:39:09
Speaker
actual sacred, real indigenous shamans who have studied this their entire
Personal Readiness and Influential Books
00:39:18
Speaker
lives. This is all they do. It's not a tourist destination. I feel like it's just gotten super weird as spirituality has gotten really popular. It's crazy to me how many people will do journeys so often.
00:39:37
Speaker
And this isn't coming from a place of judgment because it might sound very judgmental since I don't particularly feel drawn to it. But this isn't that. Something in my soul just tells me that it's not meant for that. It's supposed to be a very sacred thing that calls to you and
00:39:52
Speaker
it's supposed to, from my understanding, highlight or open up things, truths to you that you probably haven't been seeing so that you can heal more on your spiritual journey and heal more in this lifetime. And then I think personally that if you aren't taking the steps to heal, relationship wounds, whatever the things are that you've learned from that journey, like if you're not doing the embodiment and instead you're just jumping back into another one in a couple of weeks or months,
00:40:20
Speaker
I feel like that is like, what's the point? Like literally, what are you getting from that other than more of like an ego driven, like fun time? Like that you're getting illuminated these things, but you're not doing anything to change your life. You're just in the same place. For me, it just feels very like,
00:40:40
Speaker
I don't know. It just feels like not authentic. And so yeah, but again, for anyone who's like really drawn to that, that is awesome. But I just recommend like, like I said, doing a lot of research and doing it because you actually feel really called to it. And it's so interesting because that's one of the things where it's like,
00:41:05
Speaker
on our path, we have so many things available to us where it's like, you just might not be interested in it. And also, I believe that
00:41:15
Speaker
if your soul isn't ready to understand something or learn from it, it's not gonna make sense to you. I read one of Eckhart Tolle's books, I don't know if that's how you pronounce his name, but I read one of his books when I was still living in San Diego before I moved to Bakersfield. I think I was probably 24, maybe 24 years old. This was in 2014. And I think I was reading a New Earth or one of his books and I had no
00:41:44
Speaker
idea what it was saying. Like, I didn't understand any of the words. It was like, I would read it a page or two and then be like, I have no idea what I just read. Like, I didn't understand any of the terminology. It was so confusing. And I was just like, this isn't for me. And then now it's like, if I read the same book, I'm like, okay, that makes sense. And so I think there's certain books even that and the thing is that that book is so popular, like that is on Oprah Winfrey's
00:42:10
Speaker
like book lists, like that is like one of the main like books that everyone reads when they're on the personal growth and like spiritual path. But to me, it didn't make any sense. I had no idea what the fuck I was talking about. And so
00:42:21
Speaker
I, you know, what did it for me was the book that I told you about that I read with my professor, you know? And it's like, we're all going to have these other, like, each of us are going to have ways of understanding information that's going to make sense, that's going to help us, our souls evolve and grow. And so it does, it's not really helpful often to like read a book off a book list or read a book that Oprah recommends, because it might just like not make sense to us now.
Fascination with Gene Keys and Relationships
00:42:46
Speaker
But in a couple of years, when we're somewhere completely different, it's going to make so much sense.
00:42:51
Speaker
The other one that I really wanted to say that helped me so much is The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. I think that's who wrote that one. Oh my god, The Untethered Soul literally helped me understand how to identify between
00:43:10
Speaker
my soul, who's like the observer, and then like me, the person who's like in this body, Alyssa, that's like going through life, whatever, like on autopilot. And it helps me understand like the differences between that because it can also be very confusing on this path. And so that one was super good.
00:43:31
Speaker
And it's like, when I read it again, like if I read it a couple of years later, I'll get so many different new insights because new things open up to us. Same with like human design. I was just at the beach with my mom this week, this weekend, like today. And she was like, Alyssa, like, what am I? She was asking me, she's like, I don't get the gates in human design. Like, what is the point of them again? Or like, how am I supposed to study them? And it was weird. Like in that moment, like I didn't even know how to explain it to her. I was just like,
00:43:59
Speaker
Well, the gates are like, it's more of a defined expression of your energy like through that center. But for some reason, I couldn't even put into words.
00:44:10
Speaker
what it was or how she should study it or why she should study it. Like I was talking about, I gave her an example of like this, the last reading that I did for someone and how she has one of the gates, which is like the storyteller. And so she's like really meant to like share her past experiences with her clients and with her audiences. Like that's how she's going to grow her business is from sharing her experiences and being the storyteller and taking little snippets of her past and then like
00:44:37
Speaker
putting it into new lessons for people, like for them to grow and evolve. But I was like, other than that, I didn't know how to explain it to her. And it was weird because I even have a reading that is like, literally I offer a human design reading all about your gates so you can really understand like what your unique gifts and talents are.
00:44:56
Speaker
but I didn't know how to explain it. And I was like, I think because she's just like, it's not interesting to her. Like her soul isn't supposed to study the gates of her human design right now. It just doesn't mean anything. And that's okay because she has other things that she's really interested in. And then she'll try to send me those podcast updates or like,
00:45:14
Speaker
like astrology transit podcast that I just don't really care about right now. So it means nothing to me and I'm like, okay, it's not that interesting and I don't understand it. Same thing with gene keys. Oh my God, this is a great example.
00:45:29
Speaker
As you guys know right now, I'm obsessed with Gene Q's. Right now, I'm going hard into the Venus sequence. At first, I was obsessed with the Pearl sequence because I really wanted to know, oh my God, how am I supposed to operate in my business? My sole line business, how am I supposed to attract clients? Which should my branding be? Because all of that is in there. Then I was obsessed with the Genius sequence because I was like, oh my God, what are my four prime gifts?
00:45:56
Speaker
What is my life's work? Like what am I here to do? What is my biggest challenge I'm going to keep facing up against? Like, Oh my God, like what makes me radiant? Like what makes me healthy and radiant? And Oh my God, what is my purpose? You know, which we can find from that, that sequence. And I never really felt called to the Venus sequence until this fricking last couple of weeks.
00:46:20
Speaker
I am obsessed. And now this is my favorite one because it's all about relationships. And as I evolve on my path, I'm realizing what I'm really excited about and interested in. It keeps changing and evolving. And so now I'm really into the Venus sequence. I'm really into understanding and healing myself and my patterns and relationships and seeing, identifying my shadows so that in real time I can see when they're coming up. And I have tools now in my toolkit.
00:46:50
Speaker
to know how to give myself some spaciousness, gentleness, compassion, to choose a different way and to stopping so reactive. It's very interesting because since I've been really deeply studying this for the past couple of weeks, and when I say deeply, I read about this for five hours a day. I'm obsessed. Then I see it play out in my life. I contemplate it. I think about how it's impacted me in the past and I'm drawing all of these
00:47:19
Speaker
conclusions and it makes so much sense. But what I started to realize is like, I've been really triggered more recently. And I'm like, oh my God, like, I'm like, dude, what is wrong with me? Like, I'm very emotional. I'm feeling so triggered in my relationships. I'm really reacting. I'm like, why am I reacting so bad? Like, I thought I was like learning more about myself. And like, I thought I was healing these like relationship patterns.
00:47:46
Speaker
And I felt like I was regressing like 30 steps or like a thousand steps to be honest because I'm like, what is going on? Why am I so dang reactive? Why am I stuck in these freaking patterns? Like for example, one of mine is like immaturity. So like if I don't get like my way or something that I want, immaturity
00:48:07
Speaker
Even though this isn't even in my Venus sequence, this is just my biggest challenge that I face up against. This is my evolution, is immaturity and not accepting something. That has been coming up so much. I'm like, why am I doing that?
00:48:27
Speaker
another one would be like impatience. Like this is in my being a sequence, impatience, force, agitation. So those are three of my biggest shadows. And it's like, why am I so agitated all the time? Why am I so impatient? And then it's creating this like immature reaction. And you know what I realized and actually read this for Richard Redd, is that it's not that I'm more reactive in the past couple of weeks. It's that I have awareness now.
00:48:57
Speaker
Okay, this is mind blowing. I have awareness now. And so I'm not acting more emotional more than ever now. I'm not being more immature. I'm not being more impatient. I'm not being more agitated. It's just that I have freaking awareness around it. And it's like, oh my God, it feels so intense, but it's just because I'm not asleep to it. I'm not
00:49:21
Speaker
about sleep to it. I'm not in this constant reaction. I'm able to like look at it and be like, Oh my God, Alyssa, like, why are you acting like this? And I'm able to look at it. I'm able to witness it. And so that's what happens on our spiritual journey. It's like, when we start understanding our core wounds and the shadows that we have, and we see them play out in relationships, because that's the number one place they're going to play out is in relationships. Like we cannot quote unquote, ascend alone. We cannot
00:49:52
Speaker
like grow and evolve on our spiritual journey alone. We have to be like in relationship because that's where our triggers come up. And then that's where we also have the opportunity to choose the gift of our frequency and to choose compassion, gentleness for ourselves and our partners or parents or kids.
Embracing Individual Spiritual Interests
00:50:11
Speaker
And so yeah, I just thought that was crazy. And I really want to like share that with you because if you're on this path and you feel like, gosh, like,
00:50:20
Speaker
why does it feel like more than ever I just suck? Or like, why does it feel like more than ever I'm in my shadows and they're like so apparent to me. And it's not because you're regressing or you're going backwards or you're not growing. It's because you're aware of them. And so keep freaking going. Like this is the work. And as we keep being aware of them and giving ourselves space in the moment of when we're reacting like that, and we can choose a different path or choose to not say what we want to say instead,
00:50:50
Speaker
hold it back, you know, don't say something out of anger, and then talk about it later in a more compassionate way. Like all of the times that we do that and we practice that, that is what is strengthening us, our emotional intelligence, our spiritual intelligence, and our mental intelligence. Like all of that is increasing our intelligence overall.
00:51:16
Speaker
So yeah, I just wanted to say that. So yeah, just to really tie it back all together. There's so many different things in spirituality, right? We can be interested in crystals. We can be interested in tarot, oracle cards, meditation,
00:51:34
Speaker
the sacred feminine path. We can be interested in goddesses. We can be interested in Akashic records, which oh my God, I'm so excited about that I'm learning Akashic record reading for others. I have my second class meeting tomorrow, so we're gonna be practicing 4 a.m.
00:51:51
Speaker
we're all in different time zones. And so, yeah, so it just worked out that way. So I am up in Adam for AM. I did it already once on Friday. And so I was really, really nervous that I wasn't going to be able to wake up for my alarm, but I did. And so, and it was amazing. So, so excited with that. I'm actually taking it with Rebecca Lyons, the beautiful across the record reader that I interviewed on the podcast a couple episodes ago.
00:52:17
Speaker
So if you haven't listened to that one, go listen to it all about the Akashic Records. It's so good and I'm really excited because I'm going to be able to offer this to other people too, which is really exciting. So there's Akashic Records, there's astrology, there's human design, there's gene keys.
00:52:39
Speaker
There's so many different paths that we can take. I think I already said yoga, um, plant medicine, Buddhism. Like there's so many different things that we can like study and learn about, but don't be overwhelmed. Like just keep choosing the things that are really exciting to you and know that if you're excited about something, it is for you. So like dive all the way into it. That's, that's like my recommendation is like, feel like, why do I feel really drawn to this? Or like, why do I feel like,
00:53:08
Speaker
I really want to learn about the chakra system. Like why do the chakras make so much sense to me? That's because you're having a soul remembrance. Like you 100% had experiences with this in your past life and that's why you're so drawn to certain modalities. So just know and allow yourself to dive all in and to be excited about it and to learn more and don't worry about what other people are doing and like don't feel like you need to go down this path or like
00:53:35
Speaker
start like, I don't know, like, one example for me is like, everyone had been like, really, like Sahara Rose, she's on her path of like, the sacred, like feminine path and like, dancing and like, all of this stuff. And like, I don't resonate with that. And it doesn't feel exciting for me. And when I would see how many people were also on that path and like, following her and just like, so excited to like, you know, be into that stuff right now, I was like,
00:54:04
Speaker
like, what's wrong with me? Shouldn't I be more into this feminine divine womb stuff? And then I was like, no, I shouldn't, because that's not what my soul wants to do. I want to study and be interested in what I want to study in. That doesn't make me any less spiritual. It doesn't make me any less feminine. Maybe I'll be interested in that in some time in the future, but for right now, it's just not what I'm interested in. And so that's totally fine.
00:54:30
Speaker
So find the things that you like and find the things that are really exciting for you and just go all in on that. And again, don't feel bad if like your friend or someone sends you like a podcast episode or a book and you're just like, okay, I like this. I don't, what does this mean? Like I don't understand.
00:54:50
Speaker
Like don't feel like there's any hierarchy or like that you don't know enough because you don't understand this book that they're sending you that was like life changing for them. And so you're like, I don't understand what the fuck this is talking about. Like just know that that's because we all have different energetic frequencies and we're all like going to get initiated onto our path in different ways. So just be really excited for the way that comes up for you.
Invitation to Connect on Instagram
00:55:15
Speaker
And yeah, so I hope this episode was juicy.
00:55:20
Speaker
I hope you can relate to it. I really would love to know though what you're excited and interested in now. Send me a DM if you have a favorite book, even though I know I said
00:55:32
Speaker
I still love getting book recommendations. I still love recommending books. I still love when people send me songs. I love when people send me podcast episodes, and then it's up to me to listen to it and see if I actually want to invest my time and energy into it. Also, don't take this as I'm saying, oh, keep everything to yourself, or don't listen to any recommendations. They're all going to suck. No.
00:55:54
Speaker
Sharing is the most beautiful thing. I've learned and got introduced into so many cool stuff from other people sharing it. So keep sharing what you're interested in, keep sharing all the really cool stuff. Share the episodes, share the songs, share the books. This is really how we grow and then we'll take that and it'll mean something to someone. And if it doesn't mean something to someone, that's totally fine.
00:56:22
Speaker
So yeah, send me a DM. Let me know what book you're reading. Let me know what you're interested in these days. Um, if you enjoy this podcast, please, please, please leave a review on Apple or Spotify and like, um, rate and review. It would mean so much to me. So, so, so much. And thank you so much as always for listening. I appreciate you so much and yay. I will see you next week. It's five 55 on the clock as I'm looking at it right now. So.
00:56:52
Speaker
I hope you guys have a beautiful evening. Bye bye.
00:56:57
Speaker
Thank you so much for being here and listening beauty. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to leave a review and share the episode with a friend who you know will love it. We can connect further on Instagram at I am Alyssa Mae. So come say hello, leave a comment of your favorite takeaway on my most recent post and I cannot wait to connect. Thank you so much and I will see you next time.