Transcript
Speaker: Hello, everyone. Welcome to the It's Happening For Me podcast. I am so freaking excited that you are here with us this week. Today we have an incredible guest. Okay, this is one that I'm honestly so excited for. i have just so much love for this person. We have Miss Audrey. I had the pleasure of actually being with her in person at two retreats. She is my friend up here. I've received her magical work and I am so excited. So Audrey is a dark feminine mentor and she is also a dark feminine astrologer and a pro dominatrix. She uses her perspectives from the taboo side of human experience to give women permission to live an above average life even if it's unconventional. So welcome Audrey. Yay. Hello. I'm so excited for this. I've been looking so forward to just chatting and speaking. So yay.
Speaker: Yay. Okay, thank you. So first of all, I want to know and I know everyone wants to know and you're like words. What is dark feminine? Like what is that? And like, how do you tap into that for yourself?
Speaker: Okay, so for me, I feel like dark feminine does, like, in social media, get this, like, very, like, serious and mysterious and, like, so almost, like, scary, like, fierce. And it is, like, all of those things very equally. But to me, I just really feel like dark feminine is, like, the side of us that has so much, like, suppressed power. So much, like...
Speaker: it's the It's the part of us that is like the very raw, like primal feminine energy. And it does like include the but like the other side of the spectrum that like very light work doesn't always embody. So things like honoring are our boundaries, our anger, our um very like sensual erotic power, ah the way we assert ourselves, like even feminine dominance has been a thing that I've started to grow to talk about outside of the lens of like dominatrix work and sex work, but how feminine dominance surfaces in our day-to-day life. And a lot of women don't even realize that they do operate from places that are more dominant, dark feminine, very like self-assertive and kind of just more of like the fierce, almost like warrior-like side of feminine energy. And that's like one that I really resonate with because As someone who's been through a lot of things, as someone who's experienced a lot of things, and also I have a spicy side to me. Like, being boxed into, like, one side of the spectrum where it's just supposed to look, like, very, like, pleasant and, like, soft and...
Speaker: just not fully embodying like the whole spectrum of it, it didn't feel aligned for me. So once I like discovered that there was a whole other side, like that gave permission, I was like, oh my God, okay, this, this makes a lot more sense. I fuck with this. And actually like, I resonate with,
Speaker: Light work, you know, like, because if we're talking like light shadow work, you know, light work, like the light worker side of thing, I resonate with that so much more even now that I'm able to balance it and embody my dark feminine side as well. Because now it's like, oh like, there's a place for the softness and a little more of the fierce energy. So yeah. I love that. And I feel like something that's so important to know is like, this is your life's work. Like this is your fucking genius. Like this is what you're here to do in this lifetime. And that doesn't just come from like always having this energy. So can you kind of bring us back to like, maybe wherever you want to start, like whether, excuse me, whether it's like your childhood, like adolescence, like tell us like who Audrey was before that like had the catalyst to start embodying this energy to completely change your life.
Speaker: Okay, so before I embodied my dark feminine energy, I was actually on the very like other side of the spectrum as far as like how my identity was. i didn't really present that way. Like I've always had a very like rough around the edges, kind of like intense presence, but it always was received very like how people receive intensity. Like sometimes there's that like not everybody's cup of tea type of energy where like not everybody vibes with you so when I was experiencing that in my life I would internalize it a lot as like something is wrong with me something is wrong with the way i express myself and assert myself and I am literally too much like confirmed by other people I was too much and so I went the complete opposite direction to where like I dimmed myself completely like
Speaker: And like so much so that i was so submissive, um not like, not like and speaking in like intimate terms, but just like so submissive in the sense of like, I just couldn't stick up for my desires. I couldn't set boundaries in my life. I was incredibly codependent.
Speaker: And um I was just very unsatisfied because my entire like identity was based on this codependence was based on like dimming who I was and that led me down like a really rough path of getting addicted to drugs.
Speaker: being homeless, you know, partying all the time, really toxic relationships, really like abusive relationships. It was just like this horrible cycle. And really, it was because i had no like I could not assert myself. I didn't believe in myself. I didn't think I had the value to even like attempt to assert myself.
Speaker: And so basically, it just created this horrible cycle. What actually stopped it like there's been like a few things that have awakened my dark feminine energy. But when I reflect to like the very first thing, it was actually like weirdly enough, like I had this like erotic awakening and this like sensual awakening and also just like this very like self assertive dark feminine awakening when I had my son.
Speaker: which is really weird because like you wouldn't think you'd have this like erotic awakening, like post motherhood, post like child. Cause it's not always the sexiest time of your life. But for me, i saw more than ever how, if I continued being not in my dark feminine, like not being able to connect with my assertiveness, my dark feminine, my like bitch energy that every like society shames and like wants to like push women out of. If I didn't connect with that, I would have stayed in abusive relationships. I would have stayed in situations where my son now would have been affected. with And like, I recognize that. And so there was just like this awakening that led me to be like, okay,
Speaker: I am going to put some really strong fucking boots on the ground, stay in them, stay strong, assert myself and like deal with, unfortunately, the like mini period of time that does happen like in these trailblazer initiations and these dark feminine initiations where people are just throwing rocks at you and you have to like move through it You know, like you have to face the accountability of, oh I was, you know, where all of like my,
Speaker: Like not like where I wasn't asserting myself, like how that resulted and like all of the things I have to like hold myself now accountable for. So it was just like, yeah, basically my, there was like a couple things that have like awoken it in different ways, but like the very first beginning where I recognize like, okay, I have to tap into this side.
Speaker: It was it was having my kid. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. You're such an incredible mom, too. Like, I don't have kids yet. And i always talk about this. Like, there's only a couple people on this planet that like, I'm like, God, like you make me want to be a mom and you are one of them. Like, oh yeah, I just like love your relationship. And like, yeah, just who you are in the way that you are a trailblazer in every sense of the direction, like you're the word, you know. Um, and then I also just, as you're speaking, was thinking about how, like, it's so crazy because I feel like a lot of the the people that you attract and that like you help, like your clients are going through those exact things, right. And their life where it's like, they want to step into this, like trailblazer energy, the slut frequency. Like, can you talk to just us about slut frequency, like energy? Yeah.
Speaker: Oh yeah, absolutely. So um that to me is like, okay, that even is my like version of trailblazing in like the energy of dark feminine because most, like I said, like dark feminine energy, it is pretty like serious. It is like when you see these accounts, it's very light and we need that energy. Like that's good. Like that's a great side of it It's important and it's valid and it embodies it very accurately. But I i did just feel like there's this like,
Speaker: This spiciness, this like magnetic... like It's almost like the bimbo energy, kind of, where you see like the aesthetic of like the super hot, expressive, taking up space, willing to be seen, willing to be visible and not give a fuck about how like she presents herself. Because like people will project so many things onto that woman, but underneath that is this...
Speaker: wisdom. You know, it is like this trailblazing insight, this um like resilience. And so, so, okay, let me just start slut. I made like an acronym. So slut really is S sexy, L lucrative, U unstoppable and T trailblazer. So I created this like acronym actually like three or four years ago before I even did this, like type of work really like I hadn't even like stepped into it yet I just created this because I was like I know like something spicy I'm is waiting for me to like be spoken on and it's just kind of evolved in to this where it kind of like my life started to like embody that in itself and so it really became a piece and like what I share and speak about but it's
Speaker: I do just feel like it's this different like brand of like dark feminine energy that like combines like, yes, like all of the fierceness, all of like the very like heavily boundaried and like self-assertive with this like very like – spunky and fun and like but wants to be seen very playful very pleasure led and I think that pleasure and desire is one of like the key pieces in slut energy especially like in that like sexiness and that like
Speaker: unstoppable, like receiving like the lucrative, like we want to be in this energy that also like attracts a lot of pleasure and allows us to like, like exude this pleasure energy. Because when we are really tapped into that, people feel it like people also want it. It's like a very infectious thing. It's very like magnetic, you can like really when you're around that, when you're in a good place in your life, and you're around that person who is like super just like,
Speaker: fun and filled filled with pleasure and you can tell like they do what makes them happy like that's like super inspiring to be around too so I yeah I just feel like it like combines like it makes this own little breed of like dark feminine energy so um I use slut energy a lot to describe that to just like just describe the magnetism and yeah so slut frequency is like my mentorship where the women are like tapping into that um using their astrology but
Speaker: Okay, what do you have to say for the listeners who are listening and like, they feel very disconnected from that, right? It's like, maybe they feel, um maybe they're like in a long term relationship or a long term marriage, and they just feel like they don't feel hot, they don't feel sexy, or maybe like, but they're experiencing motherhood, or maybe they're in a job that they freaking hate. And like, they don't feel like that at all. And it almost feels like so far away that they're like, I want that so bad. But like, I don't feel like I'm I don't know, like cool enough, hot enough, like to be in that energy. Like, what would you have to say to them to like, you know, like you do, this is the work that will help you get there. I think one of the best things is like to remind ourselves that sexy doesn't look a certain way. Like being hot and magnetic, like it does not look a typical way. I have seen some of the most like typically unattractive things become insanely attractive just because of the way and like energy the person carries themselves from. And it really is like a, like I said, it comes down to that desire that um like this confidence. And I'm going to, I'm going to relate this to like my work as a sex worker really quick.
Speaker: One of the reasons I am like really popular is because one of my biggest compliments is you seem like you genuinely like enjoy what you do. And i love that energy. Like most of my clients, they love that energy. They want to see me enjoying what I do because like, and all of these things are like weird and like, ah well, weird, whatever you want to call it. Like it there's a whole like spectrum of things and it wouldn't even be like,
Speaker: like what maybe I would like typically think I enjoy, but because I'm like approaching it, like with this confidence and with this security, it like, like exudes this energy and clicks pieces, you know? And so I think like, I bring that up because like when we tap in with our desires and what we want, a lot of times it will make us feel like really sexy and hot and good anyways. And you can kind of like take that as a piece to get the ball rolling because it is like, unfortunately it takes work. Like,
Speaker: all of the women you see who are really expressive and like tapped in with their sexy energy, like they're probably not always feeling that way. Like 100% of the time, like it does take us a creating a relationship, like to nurture it and to like keep that going. And so I, it's also like hard for me to specifically answer that, to be transparent because like for one person, like like for someone like you and your shadow codes,
Speaker: For you, it's really like being able to create a sanctuary space behind the scenes that allows you to explore yourself and for you to reclaim your power over how you allow it to be seen, how you allow it to be felt and it being completely non-performative, right? but that's like what will tap you into your sexy energy. But like for another person...
Speaker: they have to overcome being seen. They have to go out, put on the sexy outfit and the the the pair of heels and the red lipstick that feels so daring. That's going to like make people glance at them. And for them, maybe that's how they like awaken, like, oh my God, it actually feels pretty good to be seen right now. You know, like, and then like, that's a sexy energy or maybe like I've seen it manifest in a way where like very like homely creation, like,
Speaker: like cancer vibes, um where it's like the the sexy energy, like what makes them feel so delicious and good is like being like comfy at home and like creating like the perfect mood setting in their home and like like lighting that candle and like having that like perfect like cacao drink that like has nurtured their invite. And that's the sexy, like you, you know, for so many people, it's so different. So also it like, we have a hack to that.
Speaker: We each have a hack to that. If we're like searching nonstop and we're like, I'm sorry, like doing this does not resonate with me. That's totally cool because guess what? Like you have a literal specific hack for like how you tap into that energy. And I think that's one of the, my my favorite things about the shadow code, like astrology is because It gives you answers and like clues on how you can like get little tastes of what you're trying to really experience. And that gives you so much direction on like how you can tangibly access the magnetic feeling, the sexy feeling, the unstoppable energy that you really are looking to harness. Because i like I woke up this morning. I did not feel sexy, not even a little bit. Like I sent you a voice message even where I'm like drinking my coffee. I'm like, it is it okay if I'm like,
Speaker: ugly. but but um like But then I decided, I made the decision, like, oh, I know what makes me feel good. What makes me feel good is turning on some music, dancing, moving my body, like, getting dressed a little. like that Like, I have my different ways, you know what I'm saying? But, like, it's also, like, a choice, too. So, like, we have to, like, use the tools we have and use the tools we have, you know, like, actually make sure we're, like, utilizing them and putting effort into it because, like,
Speaker: It's like a, it's like a flow. Like we have to like pour some of our effort into it for it to like, like continuously like sustain and be able to like be this flow of energy that we can like deliciously tap into.
Speaker: Yes. And everyone listening, I highly recommend getting your shadow codes reading because it literally blew my mind. Like exactly what Audrey was saying of like my personally is like very like intimate with myself. Like it's not again, not performative. It's nothing that I'm really like showing to the world. Like the world might not even know that I've had this like. energetic shift or this like awakening but it's like deeply personal to myself and and it's all based off of our astrology so it's like it literally is written in the map there is no guessing like and Audrey is a beautiful translator of that and it's like we i think a lot of us I love what we said too at the beginning of like it doesn't look a certain way and I think a lot of us think that it does like oh we think that like you know
Speaker: the dark feminine or like even slut frequency or whatever, like has to look a certain way, wear a certain outfit. And it's like, it's not even about that at all. Like it's so freaking energetic. And yeah, just like having the answers given to you so beautifully. Also, let's not also skip on the fact that like your psychic is fuck. And like, you literally also can like tap into like Audrey and the reading was telling me things about like, oh, this, I wonder if like,
Speaker: you had like this kind of like relationship growing up with like your family or like what what were things like in your household and it was like literally reading my mind it's like she can tap into things that are obviously through her wisdom of astrology but just even so far beyond that like the gifts that she has she makes them so deeply personal so yeah I I love that so much And I'm sure it's fun for you to like to use those psychic powers as well. Yeah, it is. I like, thank you so much. Cause I am, that's like one of the things I don't speak on enough, but I love about the work too, is that.
Speaker: I can pull like two very similar charts, like very similar placements, but like I will get such different readings based on like what I'm also like intuitively pulling from how I feel like it's going to manifest in that person's life. And yeah, like I also am, I've observed a lot of human behaviors. Like I get the most like beautiful, like straight window to all of these like human behaviors. Number one, I'm like a chronically online girly. It's like a hobby for me. So whatever, like that's what I do. I scroll. But i like I'm like observing nonstop mixed with like my real life experiences. And that also too, I feel like adds a layer to
Speaker: Also, like, where I am able to, like, pull from from even, like, intuitively, you know, because i see what, like, is possible in ways, like, it can manifest in ways that are unique or people would never think of or maybe not expect or you know, it's just, like, super, um it it gives me a lot of, like, insight on the full spectrum of how, like, desire and taboo things really, do present themselves. um And it's, it is like, even going back to like where you said, um sexy doesn't look a certain way. Like that even is so intuitive because I can like look at somebody and see what is so sexy about them without like them even being able to like realize, like sometimes like i have to like stop myself because I'll be like, oh my gosh, like if you want to make some money, you have this energy. Right.
Speaker: and Sometimes I'm like, to listen, um I know you just said you're insecure of this, but actually, babe, like if you're trying to make some money, no, because I see all these ways that like, it's just a completely different perspective on humans, you know, and um I think that that also gives me like insight to like really what sexy has the potential of looking like.
Speaker: And another thing too that I love about you is like you create such a safe space. Like you just feel like ever since I met you in person and just like even online first knew you online, then in person, it's like just feeling your energy. It's like you are someone that people can truly open up to and like share things that they like do not share with anyone. Right. So it's like there's a lot of shame, I think that comes with like, you know, discovering our sexy side and like tapping into like more of our feminine energy.
Speaker: And um this kind of leads me to my next question. But I feel like the reason why you're so good at that is also because like of your sex work job, right? And like you hold the space with people to bring to you things that they do not share with anyone. So I was wondering if you could share with us like a bit about like that journey of like getting into like your sex work journey. And um yeah, I just have so many questions.
Speaker: Yeah. So my, this is my belief. Like i really believe my ability to a hold the judge free space solely comes from the fact that I am such an open book. Like I will spill my dirty laundry. i will be the first actually to like tell you like, because for me, that is like how i work through my shadows. Okay. Yeah.
Speaker: So like i i feel like when I am able to just like be very transparent and like share very authentically like what I'm going through and what I've been through people people feel safe to share, you know, like what they are going through. Because a lot of times, like some of the things I share, like people are like, oh, like we just met and like you, you just like told me this about you, you know? And I'm like, yeah, like, why would I not? Like, it's like a part of who I am Like, and I'm not like ashamed of it.
Speaker: Like if you know me and you want to like actually know me, like this is what you should know, you know? Like there's like, and of course I'm not like a trauma dumper, but I'll like, like, for example, like I have, um Borderline personality disorder. And um I like one time was having like a consultation type of little meeting with like a sugar daddy.
Speaker: um And I told him like I was like explaining a bit of my business and I mentioned borderline personality disorder. And he's like, look it's like really like amazing. It's so amazing that she shared that with me in a first time meeting. I'm like, don't feel special. one but no um yeah it's just I believe like transparency is like for me unlocks like just like a superpower but um yeah leaning into like like sex work and like my story with that and like how I show up like authentically and like transparently with that even as I like carried so much shame around my own like sex work journey for such a long time like I have been full service sex worker so like for
Speaker: A good period of time, like I carried a lot of shame around like, oh, I'm trying to run this like business ah and unlike the thing I'm very passionate about and like I am paying the bills with like the sex work and i kept feeling like I had no success in my life because all of my money came from sex work. Like it wasn't coming from like the business I created. And so I really had like a shift in my um own personal shame because this is like, yes, it was very projected onto me. Very, very much so. But also like there were parts of me that believed the projections. Like I still like believed some of the shame. Like I believed it, even though it didn't like feel right. Like I had so much evidence where I'm like, my bills are paid. I'm thriving. I'm like calmer than I've ever been. i don't have to wake up and be away from my kid every single day. Like all of the evidence was like, this is good. This is good. This is good. This is good. but like still there was something in my head that was like, this is bad, you know?
Speaker: But I didn't even believe it But it was still the voice. It was still the voice that was like hurting me at the end of the day. Like it wouldn't really like hurt me. Like I was hurt by it. I was very emotional because of it.
Speaker: And then i had a experience like. With really diving in to my astrology, honestly, like so many like times in my life, like when I've had like breakdown moments, I will open up my chart and I will just like sit and wait for things to come to me.
Speaker: And it was like one of those moments. And all of a sudden, like, I'm going to be honest, like, i did not like learn through a course or through a mentorship, like, every bit of my astrology knowledge is 100% self taught. And it's self taught through intuitive um clues. So I didn't know Lilith existed in my natal chart because like a lot of times you look at like CoStar or something, which I never use that. But like you look at like your typical astrology ops and it just like gives you the list. Like you don't really know what exists beyond that unless you like...
Speaker: for some reason, ask to look for more, you know, and it just like dawned on me, like these things literally were downloads for me to like, i Googled, like, is this a thing? Like, I was like, is this even real? You know? And that's when I like stumbled upon like Lilith in the chart. And um like the tie like a little bit of the layers of Lilith and how like really these like dark like the very like dark feminine vibes and also like shadows surfaced and I saw that I am meant to like defy societal beliefs around like sensuality sexuality um death rebirth transformation taboo subjects everything in the realm of taboo and like what is like society like unacceptable is like my magic like that's where I'm meant to trailblaze and once I read that that's what that was all I needed that was literally all I needed like getting that confirmation switch like flip completely like oh I am I'm like suddenly totally fine you know like and it was so weird all it was was like I needed a piece of validation that i was like
Speaker: doing something right, you know, and that might sound hypocritical sometimes because I also speak so much about like, we have to move like, without having validation without always having proof that it's working like we have to trust her trust trust. But when you don't even have a basis a direction to trust and how are going to trust?
Speaker: You know, like same thing with like your readings. If you don't know, like the things to work with in your business, the audiences that you are meant to like speak with and work with and like your deliveries on things, you're you're the things that like open your mind or close it or what you know.
Speaker: If you don't know these things, all of the work that self-trust manifest, it just can't work. You know what I'm saying? Like you need a direction, you need a foundation to trust in. And that was really all it took. And from that moment, I gave myself permission to accept that like, I like it.
Speaker: I like the work I do. Like, I don't care about what people say. like what them Like, pop on my TikTok for a second and read the comments. Like, I do not care what people say. You know, like, I have horrible things to be said all the time about random random stuff. Like, the work I do, how I present myself, even topics of feminine dominance, people hate to hear. You know, and, like, it was just so confirmation that, like,
Speaker: I don't care if people talk bad, it like I don't care what people have to say. i am able to like trust in this direction. And the second I made that shift, like my nervous system changed, like the way like I was had capacity to like move forward the way i also like felt was so different. And um now I love talking about the work I do. I love sharing about it. I love, I just think it also fits because I do create a judge free space.
Speaker: And the male clients that come to me often are coming from places where they do just need a judge free space. They do just need safety. They do just need someone to hold them for a moment because like, I do feel, i mean, I, I feel like maybe sometimes psychology says like otherwise, or like, or like internet psychology says otherwise, you know, but like, I do feel like men can access their emotions sometimes in like realms that are a little more like intimate like this um and it's because like it opens a doorway for like conversation it opens a doorway for like dropping a guard and making them like feel seen and like men do need to be fluffed um they're sensitive they're a lot more sensitive than women are and they do need to like
Speaker: Like they do sometimes need evidence and proof that like someone thinks they are the man sometimes. And like that can be done in so many ways because I'm like I said, like I do full service sex work as well as like I'm a dominatrix. So sometimes I'm literally breaking a man down as well. But even that can like translate to like being held in a way like they need.
Speaker: And it's so interesting and it's so like there's such a vast spectrum of desire And yeah it it really just shows how ah how it's needed to have these understandings because without it, I'm going to tell you like,
Speaker: A person who has their desires stifled for long periods of time forever and ever. Like I actually can believe like that can be like such a harmful thing for interpersonal relationships. For like even like mental health and like how people's personality presents. How they carry themselves. Because you get bitter. You get like resentful. You get...
Speaker: bored you make bad decisions and sometimes like just giving yourself a safe space to like lean into the desire and I always tell my clients I'm like this is like our just like escape from the world because a lot of times very scripted same conversation oh what are you seeking what do you like about this what do you look oh you know it is though the like almost role played like escape from the world um and it's it's just yeah it's fun but mm-hmm would you say that a lot of people are coming to you that maybe don't feel comfortable sharing these desires with other people? Like, is that like why a lot of people like seek it out? Or like, what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker: So I have a lot of thoughts. Yeah, tell me all of this. I want to know all of the thoughts. So... Yes, I have a lot of guys who come to me and they have fetishes and kinks and things they want to explore because I do some pretty extreme and gross fetishes. I'm very fetish friendly, very kink friendly, very like I don't judge. I'm not like people know me for that. People also know me for like the and level of intensity I'm willing to take things to. yeah.
Speaker: so they already know they're coming to me um because I'm willing. And a lot of people just aren't willing to like hold space for like some of the things that are pretty fucking nasty. Like, but I do it because i don't know. I think it's, ah it interests me. It genuinely is like fascinating for me. It's like a study for me. So I like enjoy it. But um yeah, sometimes it is just like,
Speaker: they like kind of weird shit. like Sometimes that's all it is. um And that's understandable. Sometimes it's that they like really um different things. Like they're taboo, very, very taboo. And just like disclaimer for anybody who's listening, when I say weird, you know what? I'm allowed to say weird because because I work with all this stuff. I genuinely don't judge all of this stuff. I really don't think it's weird, but like weird is the best way I can just describe it to like the listener. um But I'm not judging anybody when I say that. I say weird with hearts around it. Weird with love, yes you know?
Speaker: um But anyways, yeah, sometimes they do just have these like taboo kinks where they are in relationships and their partner is like, hey, listen, love you, but I'm not putting my foot in your mouth. Like, love you so much.
Speaker: But if this is a need for you, go do it. Cool. Leave it to just this, but go do it. It's like a version of an open relationship kind of, but it's like not sex. Like a lot of times the intimate like dynamics will just be like specifically the kink or fetish where it is like, oh, my wife won't peg me. My wife won't beat me. My wife won't let me suck her toes. Like,
Speaker: okay, great. Like i have actually been at fetish parties where the wife attends and just kind of like sits at the bar while her man like just goes and like gets dog walked by a girl with like leash and collar or something, you know, whatever it might be. That is so cool.
Speaker: Yeah. And so sometimes it's that. Um, so, and then there are other times where it is, um, it is like, based on a lie in their relationship. It is like the, the you obviously, like, usually I'm working with men. So, like, the men um are married. Their wife doesn't know. They are coming to, um yeah, they love their wives. They want to be with their wife. um But a lot of times, especially i notice in the, like, a little bit older generation, because, like,
Speaker: the discussions weren't really there. and like, especially the judge free discussions were not there. Like foot fetishes just became like borderline acceptable. Everything else is still literally like considered not acceptable. And by acceptable, I mean, like you can't like be in the first couple dates with someone and be like, hey, I like this. Because a lot of the times that person's going to run the other direction.
Speaker: and So unfortunately, um like, especially I see in the old, like older generation, like probably on like not freak anybody out, but like our parents' age, you know, um literally like I see this, they love their wife. They love their relationship. They love everything about it.
Speaker: But like they realized they liked things like in their thirty s that they didn't know that they liked or didn't have permission to even like realize existed in their 20s. Because why? Like internet has changed. Social discussions have changed. And like all of these things have like porn has became more accessible and bigger. And like so a lot of times like these people got in relationships based off of love, but not based off of like shared kinks.
Speaker: which is kind of beautiful you know they love each other whatever but like also a lot of women don't receive these conversations well a man comes and says like hey I know we've been married for 10 years but I actually really like this like i get it i would be kind of like what the fuck like whoa whoa whoa whoa like you're throwing shit at me but at the end of the day like I do feel like that we do have permission in it like we should have permission we should like
Speaker: give ourselves that permission to experience our desires, to experience our exploration, exploration our fun. I don't condone cheating.
Speaker: um I wish society was just different. So these conversations could be had among couples more. And i have hope that like with social media and like the growing discussions that are had, like these conversations can be had more, you know, but unfortunately, yeah, like people do get together based on a relate like basis of like very traditional, like love and Later in life, like someone has like self, we have self-discovery journeys that happen in our 30s and our 40s. Like people do find like that continues, you know, and a lot of times that is like the another version of the client. And then, um yeah, like i would say there is another category that I will –
Speaker: transparently say I do work with um because again, I'm just not judge free, but hate me all you want. There is guys who do get off on like being malicious to their wives. Unfortunately, um there is like an entire like type of guy who is like very into like being blackmailed and like it's called homewrecking fetish. Like they want you to like simulate that you're wrecking their home. um Simulate that they're break it you're breaking up their marriage. um Now, like, my level and of involvement, I charge an insane amount if they actually want me to, like, do something
Speaker: um because it's so not
Speaker: not good
Speaker: yeah But again, like I don't judge because like my side of it is also like, like, if he wants me to break up the marriage, this woman deserves to know like, that's my side of it too. Like she honestly like I'm always like very nice about it. Like I've only ever had somebody pay my rate to like, to like wreck their marriage once. um And even then, I think it was simulated. Like a lot of times they'll be like, here's my wife's number, like text her and it's their them on a fake number, you know, and they're just like jerking off to the idea of like somebody like breaking up their marriage. um It's so weird. Like that one I will say is weird. i don't care if people feel judged. Yeah.
Speaker: um Because your wife doesn't deserve that. And the only reason I am like, at the end of the day, I will say it to the like, I will like allow that level of involvement is because like, I do think like, okay, you deserve to know that your husband is like trying to like break up your marriage, like get away from this guy. And also take this proof to court so you can get money. That's like literally like a great way to get paid from a divorce. That's so true. Yeah. But yeah, like that's like kind of controversial, but unfortunately, like there is a lot of controversial things in the work I do. And that's even another thing where I'm like, eh, people can think what they want to think. Like I know the like level of ethics I operate out of and that's, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: yeah That is so fascinating. I love what you said too about like, like relationships or marriages growing, growing, changing, realizing, oh, I actually have this thing I want to explore the other person like not being open to it. Do you think the other person and obviously like we can't we can only speculate but do you think a lot of times it's like,
Speaker: It's, they don't even allow themselves to go there because of what are other people going to think about me and like kind of like the taboos of like what they feel like, even though they're not going to like share this publicly, but it's like, do you think people, i guess what I'm trying to say is like, do you think it's almost like a lack of connection to themselves that allows them to open up to that?
Speaker: I actually don't think it has to do with a fear of how anyone perceives them. I actually think it has to do more with it feeling like an attack on their like adequacy sexually, their adequacy intimately. I do think a lot of like, I think this is more specific with women. Like I think a lot of women jump to like, why, like, why does he like this? Am I not enough? And it feels very like an insecure. um That is like one I've like seen or like heard of like when men share with me, like, oh, I tried to tell my wife this, this is what happened. And actually have coached a couple men through communicating with their wives on how to tell their wives they like what they like. And I do it in a sense of flattering the wife because you do have to flatter the woman in order to share the desire you have intimately. Because otherwise, a lot of the times, just as women, we it's a sensitive subject. Our bodies are sensitive. Our body image can be sensitive. How we feel honored and valued in sex is very sensitive. And so anything that can be thrown in, um like, I mean, even think of it on like a very basic level. Oh, like someone's dating and they like present the idea of a threesome. Like that's probably like the most common thing.
Speaker: a lot of times, like the person loves their girlfriend or their wife, like they just like have this fantasy, you know? And like, that's just all it is, is it's a fantasy. It's not like, oh, like, I have to have another woman because I hate my wife. But like a lot of times we can be like, Oh my God, like, why does he want another woman? You know? And lot of times it really like in a man's mind is not that like a lot of times they just are men and they just have like, and honestly, like, I'm not even going to say that because as a woman, I have a lot of like fantasies and desires too. But like, yeah, a lot of times they are like, it's not as like deep as we make it sometimes. Yeah. And I think that is part of it. I do think sometimes, um depending on like the type like fetish or kink that the couple is wanting to explore, I do think sometimes it is the fear of how it's being perceived. Because like, for example, I coached a man on, um he was with his wife and he was into what is called cuckolding. And that is where a man who is the cuckold likes to watch his wife with another man.
Speaker: um And it is like a form of almost like sometimes it's humiliation based. Sometimes it's literally like putting the wife on a pedestal. There's like different so um but at the both dynamics put the woman on the pedestal. And so he was explaining to me, he was like the first time I presented this to her. She was so worried because she thought that because I wanted her to be with someone else, other people might see and think that I don't care about like possessing her anymore almost, you know, like, um and she wanted to feel like possessed almost. And that's not like a wrong feeling. Like you want to feel like in a safe, secure, very like one-on-one exclusive dynamic with your partner And so sometimes like even on the flip side of things, like, why would you want me to be with somebody else? Like, does he not give a shit about me? You know, like that was kind of her reaction.
Speaker: and I had to like tell him, I'm like, no, like you can't explain it from like the dynamic of like you want. Don't you like as a man, don't say i want this. Like I tell them and they have to flatter their wives in this situation to say like, I would love for you to experience so much pleasure and like feel like you're being worshiped. And like in this like, like freaky kind of way, you know, like where it's fun and it's taboo and like you get, you get what I don't get to have. And like, I get to like allow, like give you permission to do that. And like, it's hot. It's like, you have to like explain it differently because men and women are so different. And so, yeah, I think that like, that is where like a lot of like the dynamics when a partner is needing to have this discussion,
Speaker: like You have to like think about the other pieces that like a woman brain goes, you know? There's a lot of sensitivities like wrapped in with these. Again, because of like society, because of like media and all of these things.
Speaker: This is fucking fascinating. Like i feel like. I don't know. I'm just getting even like, I feel like you could just help so many people in so many different ways because it's like you have like the male perspective of all of these like, like experiences, you know, and understanding their dynamics with their relationships and you're a woman. So it's like you understand what the woman needs. Like, it's just so crazy. I feel like you could even just yeah help so many people in their relationships. Do you feel like when you also do like your private mentorship or also work with like women, are you, is it like, are you also kind of helping them in their relationships as well? like does it kind of like ever come to that um honestly yeah like because some people are here to trailblaze in their relationships like some people's life's work is to create um a like that's when we see like a lot of like the trailblazer placements in like the seventh house or like libra um and that like tends to be like very much um defining like what a ideal or aligned relationship looks for them or what like I aligned expression or sensual expression in a relationship looks like. Or um i recently did one where like there was a lot of Aries energy
Speaker: in like the seventh house, it was like asserting identity in relationships without like being like, i I, without like identity values, like core pieces of self being diminished or dimmed to keep peace, to keep harmony. Like sometimes it does.
Speaker: We are here. Like there's so many different versions of like how our lives work, like for each person manifests. And sometimes it is in, That area. So yes. And then also too, like I would say that a lot of the time, like I feel when you step into like your dark feminine energy,
Speaker: It can be really tricky because it actually either makes or breaks relationships. But that is like such a great signal because it will make your relationship in the sense of you now are the communicating, um very secure, person.
Speaker: very fun Like able to tap into your desire, able to tap into like this delicious energy with your partner and communicate your needs, communicate your boundaries. And it just feels so secure and grounded and great. It'll make your relationship. But if the other person is not in a place to respect you or Maybe they haven't done the work yet. It's going to break your relationship stepping into your dark feminine energy because, oh, my God, like what? Why is she all of a sudden sticking up for herself? Why is she speaking up for herself? Like, or I don't like how confident she is. Like, my girlfriend is now confident and that feels uncomfortable for me. And so now I'm going to be like a controlling asshole or leave or whatever, you know. It will make or break your relationship. And I think that's also a beautiful thing because if that person can't handle you at your best, you want them the fuck out. So like, it's like the mold of my energy a little bit of like, all right, the train's leaving. You're either going hop on or hop off because this is the direction we're going. And
Speaker: No, I'm literally obsessed. I can see that so much. I could see that either, yeah, like, strengthening the relationship or, like, someone finally realizing, like, oh, this is not my person. Like, I was attracted to them basically for my shadows or my wounds, you know? And, like, that's why it worked. And now that I'm stepping into my empowerment, like, this is not my person.
Speaker: yeah Yeah. Because sometimes the relationships we've created are based on a version of us that required our desires to be put on the back burner. And...
Speaker: Unfortunately, as like painful as sometimes those things are, you always come out and you it feels like freedom again. And yeah, that's like important. So it is like a little bit of mold of my energy, but I do feel it always like i i feel like dark feminine energy, like in stepping in into like this slut energy and like, like,
Speaker: If the world, if everybody was so secure in themselves, we would all be like so fun. You know what I mean? Like we would all have so much unapologetic fun with each other. And I think that like that can be captured in relationship dynamics on like scales where you're creating your own little world of just like secure relationships.
Speaker: free unapologetic fun where you don't have to explain to anybody like why you and your partner like what you like you know you guys have had the conversation all that matters is you guys are on the same page and like even if everybody is like oh like they're the upside down pineapple people on the block like cool Yes, I am. I'm going to stick a sign in my front yard. You know what I'm saying? It's just insecurity that comes from It's good, good, good for relationships. Okay. This is another question that I have that like I know you're going to have really good wisdom on. So...
Speaker: Being a dominatrix, obviously, you are like the person is coming to being submissive, right? Now, in relationships, in your opinion, is there usually a more dominant and a submissive person in general? Or is it kind of like a whole person is kind of both? And they kind of like if they're both like, I don't know, like wholly in their full, most empowered selves, it kind of is like a going back and forthness? Or do you feel like there really is someone who's just genuinely more of a dominant type of person?
Speaker: can two dominant type of people work? Do they clash? Like, how what are your thoughts on that? I think like the spectrum of dominance and like where dominance in life manifests itself is so important in like that conversation and looking in two people together. Like if two people are both like heavily dominant without compromise in the same area, I could definitely see like that not working. um Because they're always like,
Speaker: ah Not always. Like, I would just say, like, it's, there's a lot of harmony when the areas, because it's kind of like you think of it this way. Like, we say, like, a relationship is 50-50. No, it's not 50-50. It's 70-30 some days. It's 40-60 some days. It's 20-80. You know what I'm saying? Like, that little, like, graphic on the internet that shows, like, oh, like, that's how it works, like, in dominance and some submission as well. Like,
Speaker: Number one submission is a very beautifully created and nurtured thing. So like true submission um only can actually happen when like a dominant presence is there to hold it and carry it. So it does require one to be dominant.
Speaker: Um, however, one person can be heavily dominant. Like for me, my, me, for example, I am very dominant in my day-to-day life. I am very, very dominant in my profession. I'm very, very dominant in and how, like how I communicate with people and take up space.
Speaker: In my intimate relationships, I'm heavily submissive, completely submissive. and but like, if my partner was submissive intimately, I would not be into that.
Speaker: Not at all. And if my partner is really dominant, like in the way like we lead our mini empire that we create as a couple, like whatever that means to us, whether it's home based, whether we have a business, whether I have a business, if my partner is very dominant, that's not going work for me.
Speaker: i need them to Be a little more like submissive maybe in the realm of like household and supporting the work i do because like that is like ah a way that I create. I need dominance in a different area very much. I need emotional dominance. Absolutely.
Speaker: um But like physical, like sensual submissiveness to me will absolutely never be like a yes, you know, but like submission in other areas is totally okay. So that's why I think it's like a spectrum because it really depends on like the area of life your dominance manifests. And I do think like women don't understand, which actually I'll like give a little teaser. I have like a offering coming very, very soon called the dominance channel. um Where I'm actually like showing how your specific dominance is meant to manifest. Because for each person, it's so different. And I actually like just did a one of these like as a trial and for her dominance, it her dominance is literally meant to assert itself in the household. Like she is meant to like, like kind of like happy wife, happy home type vibe. Like she's the one like making sure like she is like head of household technically. Like even though like she's the woman like and we think of like masculine as head of household. Like no, like she is, which like this is kind of typical anyways. Like a lot of women are like the organizers, the planners, the, you know, like that's technically like a very like dominant role because it's like the management of the household like,
Speaker: that's like a feminine dominance, you know, that's a form of her dominance was really asserting itself there. But also like on a like trailblazing level, she really was meant to like, assert her dominance, even like in her relationship to have like her desires, her like, ideal thing, like be asserted and not be walked all over. um and so, yeah, like in the, yeah, like, I feel like For feminine, it just, like, for the feminine, it just manifests different than we might expect. Like, if you are running your own business, you have feminine dominance in you.
Speaker: Like, it's required, literally, the shadow work that comes through, like, running a business and being an entrepreneur is so much so like connecting with pieces of dominance. And like, again, we don't really see it through that lens because we're so used to looking at like masculine dominance. And so, yeah, i just think it's like how it presents itself for us.
Speaker: It's different. I love that. Yeah, because I totally agree. I feel like it's like, I feel like people will realize in their relationships, like where one person needs to be more dominant and one person is like less and like you just find that like flow that like works for each other. um Because yeah, I love that.
Speaker: Um, okay. So I want you to tell us and talk to us shifting a little bit about your upcoming retreats. I want to just like, i want you to tell us everything about it. Like, what is it? Who is it for? and yeah, just to tell us everything. Okay. Yeah. So I have my second year coming. Like this is the second year we're doing sacred and spicy and I'm really, really excited. um the first year was so beautiful and so just having the opportunity to continue doing this and i'm gonna be now doing it every year like i'm just so excited but yeah the vibe of this retreat is really like taking women out of their lives and allowing them in a space that does just give full permission to tap in to this fiery side of themselves to the spicy side of themselves, and honestly kind of like cracking themselves open to allow like the shame, the judgment, the limits, the fears to just like spill out, be faced, be worked through, and give themselves a little taste of what it looks like to like step into a room without that. Because the weekend really is like...
Speaker: so much physical shadow work and at the same time like that physical shadow work activates a permission a permission to express a permission to be seen a permission to take up space and um we do that in like a series of you know we This year something different we're doing is I'm starting it off by like just this beautiful desert ceremony at the Temple of Sekhmet in Nevada here right outside of Las Vegas. And this is a feminine temple created place.
Speaker: And it is beautiful. And um I really want this to be like an opportunity for all of like that shame, that like judgment, that shit that we have like carried into the weekend that we don't want to carry out um to be left because Sekhmet is like such a She is so transformative. Like her goddess energy is so perfect for this because it is like so desert vibes. But it also it has like this layer of destruction where she is like destroying what does not serve us. Destroying and asking us, okay, walk the fuck away from this. Because that is where the rebirth, that is where like the complete like birthing like your true authentic identity
Speaker: authentic expression will come from. And so i know so many women like last year, for example, came in carrying like so much judgment around like, how will people view me as a mom if I look this way? Or like, I've never felt like there was a reason to even like gas myself up or allow myself to take up space or be seen or, you know, like being seen resulted in such a feeling of not being safe. and experimenting with how it feels to reclaim safety in those things. Like there's so many things that we can carry in as women that we just carry and allowing that release. And then after we release that in this beautiful ceremony, like we get the chance to physically embody our erotic energy in such a non-performative way through something called S factor. And S factor is like this national, like,
Speaker: like program kind of, but we have a space here in Vegas called 11th house, which is so cute because like 11th house of astrology is like community. And so the, the women's space is called 11th house and um they host a class there where again, like you're in a non-performative space and you are like pulling out the way your body desires to move, desires to shake, desires like, even if it's ugly, even if it feels weird, awkward, whatever, like Nobody's looking and it's just like you basically with yourself in this dark expressive space to do the shadow work with your body and we do that so intentionally because after we do that the following day i get you in front of a lens I get you in front of a camera to be in the setting of like c
Speaker: That's fucking me. Like, this is how powerful i am. Yes, I can wear lingerie. Yes, I can look hot in these clothes. Yes, I can express myself and be seen in this spicy energy. Like, fuck yes. It is that, like, fuck yes feeling. And I want these women to have, like, this photo, this remembrance of, like, what's inside of them and this energy they can tap into. um And then we end the weekend. um My friend here in Vegas, her name is Miranda. She does like ceremonial. um She's a doula and also does like ceremonial work.
Speaker: um And she's hosting our closing ceremony, which is a closing of the bone ceremony, which is meant to honor life transitions. and so we are having the chance to like sit with some plant medicine um and literally like be wrapped in like this hug essentially um to honor like as us, as we transition through this like rebirth that we just experienced on this weekend, like leaving behind the parts that just don't serve us, don't exer serve how we want to take up space and express and just like be fully unapologetically ourselves and really allow that permission for our power to take up space and,
Speaker: And just honoring that transformation, honoring that transition um when it's also like just super beautiful ceremony for the feminine because it is so focused on like feminine life transitions as well. So it's really just great to honor those things. But overall from like, it's just like such a portal that I have like been able to Number one witness firsthand last year. But now i like see why everything was like divinely planned. Like i couldn't have, I like guessed the itinerary last year. And the itinerary last year is like so similar to this year because it just takes you through such a like intentional journey.
Speaker: like intentional series of like healings, activations, and it's beautiful. I'm so excited for it this year. um I was so excited for a last year, but now that I know what to expect, I'm like, I can't wait. um So yeah.
Speaker: And that's in what are the dates? That's in September, right? Yeah, that's September eleventh to 15th. And yeah, I mean, I do have, I do have two spaces available still. oh Okay, yeah, this should come out in time so that people can hear ity and it. like a dump you know not yes Especially after like, I just feel like especially after sitting down and like hearing from you that like,
Speaker: It's like this work, like you said in the beginning, sometimes can feel scary or like, you know, when we think about the dark feminine, sometimes it feels like, oh, like shadows, like, what is that like, and I feel like your approach to it is just like such a beautiful mix of like, yes, deep work and like deep transformation. But also, like you said, it's like fun. It's like pleasure. It's like joy filled. Yeah.
Speaker: And yeah, it's just so beautiful. So yeah, I'm excited for people to hear this. Do you have any like, okay, do you have anything that we didn't talk about that you're like, wait, I need the people to know this or like any last things that are coming up? I feel like so fulfilled in how much I yapped. Like I love it. Like you asked such great questions. I actually feel like you covered everything that I was like hoping I would get a chance to touch on. So honestly, no like I, I loved the questions you asked. They were perfect. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Yay. Okay. And where can everyone find you online? So yes, i am on Instagram. My Instagram is it's Audrey Denae. And so yeah, i mainly use Instagram. I'm on threads under the same handle, always yapping on there. And um yeah, I've recently also been exploring like long form on Substack, but you'll find pretty much everything on my Instagram ways to connect with me, message me, work with me. Um,
Speaker: Yeah, that's my spot. I feel like that's like the main and easy main hub nowadays. Yes, yes. I love Instagram. It just houses everything. yeah fair day Okay, so I'll put everything in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you everyone for listening. um If you're not already following Audrey, obviously go follow her. And like, if you haven't had a shadow codes reading, I highly recommend. Also, I can't wait for your dominance reading to come out. I'm already like, girl, like I need that. I just want to like have confirmation. Yeah, i like,
Speaker: where that is for me. So yeah, yeah, it's it's an awesome one. I'm so excited. So many amazing things in the works, you know, so yay. Thank you so much for having me on here. This was so much fun, like just chatting with you and being in your energy, like ever since we've connected and met face to face, like, it's always just been such a lovely connection and always just an honor to be in your in your world. So thank you so much.
Speaker: Yes. Thank you. I love you so much. Okay. I hope everyone has the best week and we will talk to you guys later. Bye. bye
