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Ep. 266 – Easter: The Original S*icide by Cop w/ Spencer Bland
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This week we’re joined once again by our friend, comedian Spencer Bland! We discuss an impromptu road trip with the most racist tow truck driver in all of Mormondom, recent news about former first gentleman of South Dakota Bryon Noem, and then we dive into some irritating/horrifying advice questions on r/ChristianMarriage. Spencer will be on tour at the end of the month, and he’s hitting a number of cities across the country including:
4/17 – Los Angeles, CA
4/20 – Denver, CO
4/23 – Minneapolis, MN (w/Will Abeles)
4/24 – Erie, PA (Flagship Comedy Festival)
4/25 – Annapolis, MD (Headlining)
4/29 – Raleigh, NC (Headlining)
4/30 – Wilmington, NC (Headlining)
5/1 – Raleigh, NC (w/Mark Normand)
5/2 – Raleigh, NC (w/Mark Normand)
5/3 – Greensboro, NC (Headlining)
5/4 – Nashville, TN
5/6 – Denver, CO (Headlining)
Follow Spencer on Instagram and TikTok (@spencerspicy), and go to www.godsfavoritecomedian.comfor tickets!
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Transcript
Personal Counseling Experiences and Religious Influence
00:00:00
Speaker
Yeah, i I literally was like, as I was like, how old was I? Maybe like 15 or 16. I'm trying to remember. I remember the guy's office because he had a pretty bitching statue of ah a bald eagle perched atop a cross.
00:00:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah go I like that. Like one of those ones is that you see like at a mall kiosk, you know? Yeah. But I remember like telling him like, mean, like, Hey man, sometimes I, uh, I kind of want to die. And he was like, well, like waved his hands. He was like, we're gonna, we're gonna, and we're gonna not talk about that. Oh my God. That's yeah crazy.
00:00:31
Speaker
Just know that if you do, you'll go to hell. i I do think, I think that's all he said. I think he was like, well, he's like, what I can speak on is that if, if you ever, uh, put actions to those thoughts and and that happens, he's like, you know, he's,
00:00:45
Speaker
softened he was like your family be very sad he's like but you would not inherit the kingdom of god and i was just like okay uh all right and traditionally speaking we're honor bound by a catholic law to cut your head off your court yeah honor bound honor battle and
00:01:21
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Growing Up
Introduction to 'Growing Up Christian' Podcast
00:01:23
Speaker
Christian. I'm Sam. I'm Casey. And today we are joined by probably the friendliest of friends of the show. Woohoo! At this point, 4Pete, 5Pete, I don't even know. We lost count. You've been on more than anybody else. Hell yeah.
00:01:39
Speaker
Spencer Bland, what's up? How's it going? How's it going, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? I think you've been on more than our CIA handler, Charles McBride. Probably, yeah. just talking I was just talking to him earlier today because we we filmed a bunch of videos together, and then he wasn't editing them. So I was like, hey, do you want me to take a crack at this? Is this for you guys' as new OnlyFans, like your joint venture OnlyFans? I wish. No, I'm just trying to siphon some of his audience towards mine. Yeah,
Muslim Conspiracy Theories and Humor
00:02:07
Speaker
okay. I was i was telling Sam, i there's a podcast that I listen to that's like, ah it's like,
00:02:15
Speaker
It's a little conspiracy oriented, but it's very interesting. And it's like these two ah Muslim dudes that are yeah real smart and they're very well read and stuff.
00:02:26
Speaker
And in the podcast, they were talking about like some of the stuff around the the war and you know Epstein Fury and all that stuff. And one of the guys goes... He goes, yeah, you know, I mean, there's just like these suspicious characters that pop up. And like the other day, you know, somebody shared this guy with me and I'm looking at his page and he goes on about like this guy's page and then he's like, his name is Charles McBride. I'm like, oh, I know him. It's funny because we joke with him so much in the group chat that he's in the CIA. And it's like this man is this man's so broke. Like he's definitely not. Yeah.
00:03:00
Speaker
Yeah. No, any every time I, I, cause he, he lives in a, well, I won't dox him. He lives, uh, not near me, but we technically live in the same city. And, uh, whenever I go hang out with him, he's always got a plethora of political characters in his repertoire at the house.
Social Gathering with Political Figures
00:03:16
Speaker
And I'll like meet these people. And then like, dude, for example, we, we had a St. Patrick's day party where we all dressed up like IRA members and, uh, which is a good time hanging out. Like we're sitting around the bonfire talking and, uh,
00:03:30
Speaker
talking to this one girl that's like a producer for a documentary that he's got coming out about um ah gaza And hopefully this doesn't get censored because I said that word. But ah but ah I was like, this person just had an air about them, something, you know, you you could tell when, like, someone's rich. You know what i mean? And we ended up following each other on Instagram because she was cool. And then I looked her up. She is the Archduchess of Austria.
00:03:55
Speaker
What? No way. I didn't even know that stuff still existed, dude. Like, yeah. what oh yeah to just go over a friend's house and have random people around who have a legitimate level of clout she's literally an influence a hapsburg like that's her like she told me her name and i was like oh cool because i just like watched a video on like the holy roman emperor empire and uh she was like yeah i can't won't say her full name but her last name's hapsburg and then i was like interesting and then she followed me on instagram and i just connected some other things like i was like what are you doing after this she was like oh i'm gonna be hanging out and ah my family has a has some uh has a a property in jamaica and i was like damn she must be rich and then i like she followed me and i was like oh oh you're like you're not rich you're like control global narratives rich lizard lizard people rich hey People like that, I genuinely want to be like, can you give me 20 grand? Right. Just please. It's not that hard.
00:04:51
Speaker
That's what you spend on like a purse. And that would, I could live off that for two years. yeah ah give me Give me a quarter of a Birkin. That's all I want. Literally, dude. it's Just a square. just Anyway, berkin no no shade to her. She was an absolute sweetheart, and she's clearly chill. She's one of McBride's friends, but yeah, crazy crazy story.
00:05:07
Speaker
Charles shares a picture, like ah like he'll share a story where he's like having a barbecue somewhere, or they're doing like ah a communal gardening project or something like that. it's like, holy smokes, this looks like a Gap ad.
00:05:21
Speaker
yeah There's such an a wide array of people. oh why This looks like central casting for like
Social Media Curation and Tokenism
00:05:26
Speaker
a bank commercial. it's like the it's It looks it's like the has the air of like the rich kid version of workaholics parties.
00:05:34
Speaker
yeah Yeah. I bring the i bring the cumulative ah look score down every time I hang out with them. It's like ah truly. Hey, hey. and No, I don't even you mean that as a bad way. like I'm not going to let you do that.
00:05:46
Speaker
I'm an okay looking dude, but like literally everyone that he hangs out with are like jacked models. Yeah, they were. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Fair. And i rock I roll in and I'm like, hi, I eat carbs. Yeah. like I do kind of get irritated with, uh, because I have one friend in particular that like every post of his, I see, I'm like, do you audition friends? Do you have any friends? Like, am I your fat friend? Hell yeah. And that's tokenism. He needs one yeah so he can say he's not fat phobic.
00:06:19
Speaker
Yeah, no, I'm definitely the, uh, I'm, I'm the behemoth. I'm the token behemoth of the friend group. you're one you're You're one of those dudes. How tall are you? 6'5", but I'm i'm i'm wide, dude. You're a big man. You're Yeah, yeah i'm ah i'm ah um I'm a big guy.
00:06:34
Speaker
I don't ever realize it. I don't really enjoy it. I'm not having fun every day of my life. My back is in constant pain, but it is it is fun because that's like 90% of what conservative men care about. So when I can argue with them online, I'm just like, yeah, I'm taller than you. Yeah, yeah. yeah And ah don't worry, even if you're 5'10", your back hurts every day of your life too. Yeah, I think just once you hit 32, it's not good. No, everything that's when everything was downhill. That's when my tits started getting slopier. Yeah, I think mine. And you do less to like to to eliminate that. Yeah, I threw my back out when I was 33, and it's just been every every day as hell.
00:07:12
Speaker
Yeah. I say that as I great drink a latte. Yeah. Well, that's, that's because you have pumped yourself so full of, ah um, like it's all the yellow five. Yeah. Energy drinks. and you live off You live off the land.
00:07:28
Speaker
You're nature maxing. your Yeah. You're maxing. It's funny. Uh, I was nature maxing pretty hard when he shot that alligator 25 times. Yeah. Apparently an alligator. He might go to prison for that, which is hilarious. Yeah.
00:07:42
Speaker
He was in the Everglades in Florida. Is it clavicular? How do you say it? Yeah. I just learned his existence last week, unfortunately. But yeah. Did you watch his interview on Channel 5 News with Andrew? No, I couldn't. I was like, I got to draw the line at something.
00:07:55
Speaker
I feel that. I haven't watched it. i just watched him leave when he got really mad at Andrew for Andrew saying that he felt fine with the way he looked. Yeah. He was like, are you fucking kidding me, dude? Like clearly telling Andrew he looks like shit. And then he's like, well, if you're going to be this disingenuous, I guess this interview is. Yeah. I saw that clip and I was like, no, the last.
00:08:15
Speaker
He's a terrible person. Oh, yeah, for sure. The last Channel 5 interview I watched was Shia LaBeouf because. That one was dude something else. Truly truly sad. i I genuinely love that guy as an actor, as an artist, I guess. Obviously cannot cannot condone anything that he does in his personal life. ah But it's just it's so obvious where it's like, man, this dude needs to be like put away for a little bit. Yeah, he's not doing well.
00:08:41
Speaker
I don't think he can do anything more than like act out what he believes yeah genuine to look like. yeah He's on like his 4-3 brand of his entire personality. Do you guys pay attention to John Bernthal at all? yeah Not much. I don't like him. I watched them talk about Home Depot together and how they could work. like and I'm not like crazy about John Bernthal, but like i he probably I feel like he probably has bad politics. He's very Blue Lives Matter, and he hates naps. He shit on people who take naps, and that's when I was done with him.
00:09:18
Speaker
Yeah, he definitely feels like an entry level to the Rogan sphere. But yeah there was a few years ago when like you're going to maximize. bro Yeah, it's very like maximize everything. It's like you're an actor like I don't want to sit on your career. But once you like watch his podcast, because like Shia LaBeouf, like Jon Bernthal took Shia LaBeouf under his wing when they did Fury together. However long ago. And he was like, I'm going to.
00:09:40
Speaker
Yeah. And there's like episodes of their that like they did his podcast together. And once you learn that, you're like, oh, Shia LaBeouf is just doing Jon Bernthal. But like in his fucked up circus of a mind. It's a little bit of a Charles Manson, Tex Watkins sort of thing. Yeah.
00:09:55
Speaker
Yeah. It's it's ah it's unfortunate. It doesn't make for good TV, though. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Shia, there was there was no point of Shia's interview with Andrew that wasn't insane. Interesting. Yeah, it was. You were actually really on that ride um because the because he's in such a weird spot and obviously coming off of an arrest for something truly awful. Yeah.
Shia LaBeouf's Public Struggles
00:10:22
Speaker
don't know. It was weird listening to him like kind of – he's like, well, I'm a real Catholic, bro. I'm not one of those fake Catholics. I'm like a real deal Catholic. And you're like – so now that's what you're – so now you're just like adapting catholic Catholicism into your identity.
00:10:39
Speaker
and Like it you don't have to do the legwork. That's what it feels like is he's not – like I'm like, oh, you're just – we see that all the time, right, growing up in in the world that we did where it's like – You don't have to do the legwork to figure out who you are and why you think the things you do. You can just plug and play the identity and just move forward.
00:10:59
Speaker
and yeah And assert dominance over people who have been there for decades by, you know, just like assimilating into the most extreme version of it. whatever that is it's like you don't work your way there you don't change your life really to to hit that point you just kind of go not only am i catholic i'm going to be a better catholic than you guys catholic maxing also sorry i was someone is uh returning my camping tent that they borrowed from me so i was telling them how to get into my gate oh gated community
00:11:30
Speaker
No, it's a ah it's my it's my excuse it's my unhoused protection. Your unhoused protection. Brother, they're wild out here. Yeah. And i say I say that with light and love, but it's a ah it's ah it'll California will test how liberal you are.
00:11:47
Speaker
Yeah, I can imagine. ah i Because like if I go to, if I'm in Boston, yeah I feel like it's bad.
00:11:59
Speaker
but then you hear like the numbers difference. Yeah. And it'd be like what I, what I see in Boston where I'm like, I'm uncomfortable. This is hard. Like, I don't really know how to like handle myself in these situations. Like, you know, yeah it was that time, you know, my Liberty university days,
00:12:18
Speaker
Yeah. Where I was like, really like, how do I be the most Christian I can be? do I be a light for these people? Really diving, like really like full blown into like Shane Claiborne and all that stuff. Oh man, that's a name I have not heard in a long time. Whoa. And you're like,
00:12:34
Speaker
All right. I'm just gonna, it doesn't matter. Like I'm just going to give, right. It's just, I feel like it's the right thing to do. i just want to bless these people and you give, and then you like give them whatever you have left in your wallet, five bucks, 10 bucks, you know what they're going to do with it. And you go, but that's not up to me. That's between them and God, man. Like, And then you move then you walk 10 feet down the road and someone else is like, I'll suck your dick for money. And you're like, Jesus Christ. I gave it all of them. I don't have any more money. I gave it all. I thought I did the thing that was good. and and i I made no dent. I made myself feel good.
00:13:09
Speaker
Yeah, dude, it is. did not pay for this blowjob afterwards. It's really unfair. I mean, i i earned it. but Ask him if they accept Apple Pay, um which is crazy because I've i've been i've had someone be like, ah you can Venmo me. And I'm like, bro, not.
00:13:24
Speaker
No, like, it' so, yeah. It's like the best man. My dog just farted. He is stinking stinking it up in here. My dog was ripping them last night. I had to leave the room.
00:13:37
Speaker
Dang, dude. He knows, too. he's He's proud of it. He's, like, looking back at me. the ah Yeah, it's it's frustrating here, because especially if you go, like, near the VA, it's just, like,
00:13:47
Speaker
how can how can you not be like, wow, this government has failed its Right, how disappointing. Yeah, but like even like I live in like a very nice neighborhood. I live in Silver Lake, which is like ah arguably like the the Williamsburg of Los Angeles, you know? And it's like, it's it's real bad.
00:14:06
Speaker
And it sucks because it's like, the only thing that would fix that is like funding like mental health and like getting these people the medicine they need because you just, you ah Sorry, we could go on a big tangent on this. Maybe if Gavin Newsom wanted to tax a billionaire
California's Homelessness Issue
00:14:18
Speaker
or two instead of fucking pussying up. He's going to put them all in internment camps, 100%. That's what I'm like. Dude, it's I can't wait for the World Cup to start and everyone come. Because like there's like...
00:14:29
Speaker
I think two or three of the U S's games from their group stage are being played in LA. And it's like people, you know, that meme where it's like a guy walking into a girl's messy room and it's like, damn bitch, you live like this. I feel like that's what's everyone is going to be about America. They're like, like dudes from Eastern Europe are going to be like, Oh, Hollywood, I've heard great things. And then they get here. They're like, Oh, They're like, why does this look like Iron Curtain?
00:14:55
Speaker
like Dude, one time, ah so well I used to be an instructor at like my company's internal sales rep training class. and Epstein class.
00:15:09
Speaker
Yeah. We get people in from international like companies that came in and took took the class and stuff yeah too. and the problem So I like Wichita.
00:15:20
Speaker
I do really like Wichita. enjoy it here. i like living here. I like this city. It's a small city, right? But like the doubt like the the area that you would see if you flew in for this class between the company building and the airport is like not the coolest part of city. Yeah.
00:15:38
Speaker
It's not like, you know, RoboCop or anything, but it's like it's just not our best point of, of ah you know, display. And I remember like serial killers house or two.
00:15:50
Speaker
yeah It's just kind of like burned down church. Damn good. Glen Campbell song, though. Yeah, exactly. Wichita lineman. Yeah, I drove through. i didn't realize this. I drove through Wichita ah in January.
00:16:02
Speaker
Oh, you did? Yeah, because I took the, instead of going through Denver from Kansas City, I took the southern route. So I went, yeah, I went through Wichita. um don't even know what highway that is.
00:16:14
Speaker
but yeah, I know what you're talking about. Because once you get like out of the like actual city, it gets pretty desolate. Or not desolate, just like, you know, spread out. Well, if you're going west, it gets desolate for sure. Yeah. Oh, dude.
00:16:27
Speaker
That southern, south... Western Kansas and like the Oklahoma panhandle. Ooh, that is what people, that is what people think Kansas is going to look like. And it, it absolutely does out there. yeah ah Brother, they're right. Like an ocean with no water. Yeah.
00:16:47
Speaker
Yeah, I remember these like Colombian dudes flew in for the class, you know, and at one point they're like, like you where do you live? And I was like, I i live here. and he goes, you live here?
00:16:58
Speaker
i was like, yeah. And he's like, this is the worst place I've ever been in my life. Like, well, you where you're from has a bit of a reputation too, so. Yeah.
00:17:12
Speaker
They're like, yeah, so for the drug that where you have fun. yeah that's true. Actually, one of my buddies that travels... One of my buddies that travels for the company a lot, he spends a lot of time in like Central America and some in South America and stuff. He swears Columbia is his favorite place in the world.
00:17:31
Speaker
Dude, i have ah I have a friend, a buddy of mine from high school. I only talk to him once a year when I remember to text him on his birthday. But we were like really tight in high school, and I like to maintain that friendship. But he lives in, what's it called? Bucamoranga or something? Let me Google this.
00:17:46
Speaker
But it's a town in, yeah, Bucaramanga. I mean, I'm obviously... murdering that pronunciation but he lives in bucaramanga colombia and he loves it dude and i like it's let's see what's the population it is 600 000 so that's like equivalent to a raleigh north carolina yeah yeah and he's like dog at rules
Series on American Propaganda
00:18:08
Speaker
well then it sounds like we have succumbed to yet another american propaganda campaign i dude i'm starting a new dumb little series on instagram i've been i was writing them today called is it propaganda
00:18:21
Speaker
And so it probably isn't like, it's crazy to be at this point in life and realize how, like, I mean, even just like being in your late thirties and realizing that we were lied to for the last 30 some odd years about Iran and their, like how much they contributed to global terror. Right.
00:18:41
Speaker
Yeah. Like you're just like, Oh wait, that was actually all pretty much made up. Like, Not that they didn't, but we did it worse. So like, yeah there's nothing to really, there's nothing to really get that mad. Part of, part of the crux of the scripts I'm writing is like, if another country did this, would it piss you off? Yeah. And the answer is yes for everything we've done in our entire life. Yeah. Literally.
00:19:05
Speaker
It's wild. But yeah, I assume, I assume you've seen like back in the day, you remember the, the vice documentary about ah like the cannibal warlords of Liberia. Yeah. Oh, my God, dude. Those are like, that's a deep pull. Man, Vice was really making some crazy shit back in the day.
00:19:22
Speaker
Yeah. Well, that podcast I was talking about, they did an episode or two where they talked about liberia the Liberian Civil War. And basically, that was us. We didn't like, ah yeah they were getting a little too big for their britches and trying to nationalize some things. And we were just like, yep what if we turn your country into literal hell?
00:19:42
Speaker
What if you're fighting over human leg bones? How about that? That's crazy. Hold on. Give me one second, guys. I'm sorry. My friend doesn't understand how to use my gate, which is frustrating. No problem.
00:19:54
Speaker
Gotcha. Okay. Solid. All right. ah Dude, what have you been up to, man? yeah i know you got some stuff coming up, going on. Well, let's talk about you before we get into some of the who fun little tidbits of interesting things going around. Yeah, man. I just ah just got back from Treefort Music Festival in Boise, Idaho. i don't if you fellas have ever been to. They call it. They say Boise.
00:20:20
Speaker
Boise. Which is its just weird because it's probably the widest place in America. And they say it with a little Latino flinch. So yeah say that has a just like yeah like i I remember I was like, oh, cool, Boise. And they went, no, Boise. And I was like, why do you guys say it like a like Chicano? Like, that's crazy. yeah um But ah yeah, ah my my 2017 Subaru Outback exploded on the way there. So that was tight. Exploded.
00:20:45
Speaker
Yeah, not actually. I mean, the engine blew up, but it's just more fun to say exploded. um i Dude, yeah, long story short, paid a guy paid a guy in LA to fix an oil leak and replace my head gaskets. He didn't do either of those. But what he did do is fix my sensors so they didn't tell me anything was wrong with my engine. No way. Yeah. So crazy. Yeah. And it's been like, that was back in December. And I can't like, I can't sue him because you can't really prove it, you know, like, Oh, so it was like side work.
00:21:16
Speaker
Yeah, no, it wasn't side work, but it's just one of those things where it's like the engine is fucked up. So it's like, you can't be like, Hey, you, this is actually your fault. Like, uh, Yeah, was I was in I was outside of ah a shit stain of a town called Winnemucca, Nevada, and I broke down. Thank God I had cell service because half that drive, I literally didn't have cell service and ah got got towed to Winnemucca for five hundred dollars. They told me what I knew, which was that my car was fucked.
00:21:44
Speaker
It was a drive was that five hundred dollars for how many hours? and An hour. Yeah, towing is nuts. Toes are no joke. Towing is crazy, dude. And ah excuse me and then ah they're like, hey, you can take it to the Ford dealership and maybe trade it in and then get a Ford. And I was like, no no offense, Casey. I was like, I don't want a Ford. ah You're a Ford guy, right? Did I make that up?
00:22:05
Speaker
No, I don't. Oh, you're not. Oh, thank God. Okay. i don't feel bad then. ah You're like, oh, i you just have that look about you. I thought, I don't know for some reason, I thought you worked. I thought you worked for, I know you work in adjacent to cars though, don't you?
00:22:17
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. But I was like, this was a Ford dealership in a small town. So it was literally just trucks. And I was like, I definitely don't want a Ford truck. Like, ah so my option was to tow it back to LA and,
00:22:29
Speaker
or to tow it to ah Boise, which I was on the way to. And it have been the exact same price because i was pretty much like right in the middle. And I was like, well, I'm going to make money a little bit if I go do these shows that I've been booked to do. And Boise is kind of like a little, you know, liberal hovel in a very Republican Idaho. And they had a Subaru dealership. So towed toed of the Subaru dealership there, spent seven hours, ended up walking away with pretty much the exact same car, but two years newer.
Road Trip Mishaps and Encounter with Racism
00:22:55
Speaker
So...
00:22:56
Speaker
All in all, not great, ah but did have to did have to spend a sizable... Pretty much spent the money that I was going to coast on this summer, so now I got to get a job. ah Isn't that crazy how it's just two years newer and what you get for your car doesn't really mean shit, and then... Like I had a similar experience late, like recently. Cause my, i had a 2011 civic. yeah yeah I was at a I was at a show.
00:23:21
Speaker
And when I left that show and came out to my car, the entire front end was smashed in. So I'm back into it. The front fell off. Yeah. Yeah. by accident. and I mean, if it just happens. That just happens with cars. Sometimes the fronts fall off. Yeah. um So then i end up getting a 2013, two years newer. Yeah. And now I'm, you know, obviously making a car payment for the next four years. And you're like, this is,
00:23:45
Speaker
Yeah, I was like about to pay that one off, and now it's like, all right whatever. But I'm alive, you know yada, yada, all that fun stuff. And i got I got a pretty decent bit out of it because my my tow truck driver ah that towed me to Winnemucca and then towed me from Winnemucca to Boise was one of the most racist people I've ever met my life. Who? Who does he hate?
00:24:04
Speaker
ah See, and it's funny that you said he. It was a woman. So women in male-dominated fields. A female tow truck driver. And here's the crazy thing. like the way you buried the lead on that one. Yeah. She had some of the most woke takes about being a female in a male-dominated industry, not being racist, but being a tow truck driver.
00:24:21
Speaker
Like, she would be like, oh, I love picking up men whose trucks are broken down, and they refuse. They're like, I'm not getting towed by a woman. And I was like, well, you can die out here. We're in the desert. you know like That happens every day. Yeah, and she had something like that. And then everybody clapped. It sounds like you're a charity guy just making shit up, Casey. like Dude.
00:24:38
Speaker
No, what no, what you're not showing up. No. If you should, if you show up the, a lot of guys would be like, Oh, finally a female yeah truck driver. I can't wait to be alone with her in a vehicle and say that weird, creepy fat guy who a stomach hangs out. Yeah. Rolls over the steering wheel and smells like ass. It was funny. We did when we were like leaving the dispatch station, we drove by one truck and she was like, you should be glad that guy's not telling you he's stinky. Yeah. And I was just like, LOL, dude. this host This town has two tow truck drivers. One is a racist woman and the other is stinky. They're in a full-blown turf war. Yeah, dude. ah No, dude. She like tried to run an Indian truck driver off the road because he legally passed us.
00:25:21
Speaker
And she like took offense to that. ah And then she, she actually, ah she said it as a slur. I don't think it is, but she, when he first passed us, she went, oh, that's one of those Durka Durkas.
00:25:32
Speaker
And I went, what? And she's driving. She turns to me slowly for a solid 20 seconds, doesn't look at the road, and goes, Durka Durka, Muhammad Jihad, you know, from Team America World Police. Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. I had a friend that used to say that.
00:25:47
Speaker
And I like we we ended up passing the guy again. Couldn't have been more obviously an Indian guy. And I was like, hey, and you know, like I even like broke it down because I love South Park. And I was like, hey, they're actually making fun of Middle Eastern people in that movie. That guy was Indian.
00:26:01
Speaker
a Totally different continent. ah And she went, ah same thing. No, it's not. It's crazy. I feel like I know this woman. I feel like I know a lot of these women. You probably do. But ah yeah, and then we just had a bunch of – I thought the cherry on top was multiple times she she kept bringing up Trump and how he's saving the country and blah, blah, blah, and how ICE is doing good. she have to pay for her own gas?
00:26:25
Speaker
Uh, fuck it. I mean, probably, but to her, it's Joe Biden's fault, you know, like, yeah and then we, we finally, we're like 10 minutes away from the dealership in Boise. I'm finally going to get done with this, this drive that should have taken four hours, but took five and a half because she stopped multiple times to smoke camel crushes, which I checked were outlawed in 2015, but I guess not in Idaho.
00:26:45
Speaker
Uh, Camel crushes I remember when those came out yeah yes but I always like Dabbled with smoking Like I never got yeah I never was like I'll pack every now and then yeah and for years I never bought them. I just like, if I was around people who smoked, I'd be like, I'll smoke. Yeah. Never like, never it never hit me. Like I never got hooked.
00:27:08
Speaker
Uh, thank goodness. Uh, cause I know how hard dealing with that, like, you know, obviously it's an addictive substance. Some people yeah like roll into it hard, but, um, I remember i remember like wanting to smoke a cigarette because my like people around me were smoking. And the person I wanted to get a cigarette from had Camel Crushes. Hell yeah. And they were like new and they were really excited. Like, oh yeah, you can you can squeeze. has like a little cert mint in it that you can just like. you It's a regular Camel and then you squeeze it and then it breaks the menthol pack. you turn it into a new port. Yeah, it's like a Transformers. Yeah.
00:27:45
Speaker
It's coming different flavors. No, it's just regular tobacco or menthol. Yeah. That's where they screwed up. They need like Swedish meatball. oo Wouldn't that be nice? Swedish fish. yeah That's what I was going to say. Swedish fish, dude. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That was ah that was a brutal drive. If it was Ikea Swedish meatball, I'd smoke that bitch. Lingenberry juice menthol, dude. A Swedish meatball with Lingenberry. Yeah. It should be Swedish meatball cigarette with a little Lingenberry crush pack. Yeah. I love exotic cuisine.
00:28:15
Speaker
But yeah, we finally we finally got to the end and she's about to
Complex Beliefs of a Tow Truck Driver
00:28:20
Speaker
drop me off. And she goes she's originally from Idaho. I got to say outside of the racism. She was very nice to me, but I am a white guy. ah And she she she goes, I just I just love what Idaho is doing. ah They just passed the death penalty for child molesters.
00:28:37
Speaker
And I look at her because I go. you've been talking about Trump this entire fucking drive. And I said, you're like, finally something we can agree on. i i know i i know that if I mentioned Trump directly, she would lose her goddamn mind and probably kick me out of the car. So I just looked her went, yeah, it's about time we take down those Epstein motherfuckers, right? And she kind of was like, I don't know about that. Like, kind of like...
00:29:01
Speaker
Yeah. and then And then continue to go on about how Idaho has brought back the firing line for for child molesters. And I was like, how are you not making this connection, lady? Like... It's a it's dude. It's it's amazing. The cognitive dissonance. It's crazy dude to simultaneously indulge in like conspiracy theory and yet write off all the people that you still have this weird fixation with. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I was talking to the family member not too long ago and it was um the conversation was about Trump. And I was like, look, it the this person is a like kind of a disenfranchised.
00:29:40
Speaker
unhappy with Trump. Yeah. Which is great. Like, yeah I think there's, I think this person is starting to, you know, see things differently. They're yeah happy with it. But we were having a really good, like an honest conversation. And I was like, look, at the end of the day, I just think, you know, Trump's an Israeli asset, whether he knows it or not.
00:29:58
Speaker
Yeah. There's too much blackmail. He's part of the Epstein class. I think he's a rapist, pedophile, fucking freak. And this person was like, look, this, you can see where they're like, where they're criticizing Trump, but they're having a hard time. And I think it comes from having a hard time that you, you could have supported a pedophile. Cause that's like, nobody wants to. So you, yeah, there's still that, like, I, I, that's what it felt like to me is like the gymnastics around, like,
00:30:26
Speaker
Well, I think if if he was a pedophile, like, you know, he was such a public person, they would have figured this all out already. Like someone would have said something or he wouldn't have caught it And I was like, well, people have said something for 20 years. Yeah.
00:30:41
Speaker
And they either disappear, disappear. or just get completely sidelined with and NDAs or like harassed. Or like or they you know a war gets started so people stop talking about it. you know It's been all but one of the last 10 years of talking about Epstein and people being like, dude, i just think about how many people would have to be involved to keep this thing quiet. It's yeah it's unreasonable. and It's like, well, it's, ah you know...
00:31:12
Speaker
yeah is now like where I mean, it literally happened. was like, because also at the same time, like how many people are how many people are like coming out and having like for the first time in their political career being like found out for this kind of stuff? Yeah. It's like,
00:31:31
Speaker
They've been doing this for 40 years and we finally are like have proof like how long someone's gone without getting caught isn't a reason to think that they're innocent. We need to move past that. Yeah. Hitting the old pause.
00:31:48
Speaker
All right. We were talking about my my racist tow truck driver. Yeah. And then yeah i'll I'll say you one more thing. i i'm going ah i'm going I'm going on tour ah february and February, April 19th through like May 8th. I'll be Denver, Chicago, Minneapolis, Erie, Pennsylvania, Annapolis, Maryland, bunch of dates in North Carolina, Raleigh, Wilmington, Greensboro.
00:32:10
Speaker
ah Doing Nashville, doing a little feature set at Zany's. That'll be fun. And then ending it with a big headlining set in Denver on May 6th. Hell yeah, dude. That's awesome. did you how did you did you book all that yourself?
00:32:24
Speaker
Brother, i ain't got it I got no representation. I booked all that just through. That's a shit ton of work. That's some DIY stuff. It's all, it's all DIY. Yeah. I built, built a lot of it off, uh, you know, like the, the one in Erie, Pennsylvania is a festival that I'm doing like two shows in one night. And then, uh, I knew there was like ah a, uh, like pop-up comedy club in Annapolis. I hit them up. They said, yes, I knew I could headline good nights, but they gave me the main room. So that's cool.
00:32:49
Speaker
Um, which is like a, like 250 person room. So God, I fucking hope I sell that out. Otherwise that's going to be depressing. Um, Uh, yeah. And then other things just like, you know, hitting up friends who are bookers or frustratingly, like I got hit up, I would like book a date and then a week later, like the club that I hit up in that town would be like, Oh, so sorry. We just saw this email. Like, do you want to do it? And I don't, I don't want to like back out on the other thing that I agreed on. So, right.
00:33:13
Speaker
But yeah, hopefully, hopefully going to do another run in the fall. Also hoping that I get back from this and the handful of, uh, industry people that have followed me on Instagram will, want to help me out because that's it's just it's frustrating but it's like all these bookers want to do is like see you have you know someone big behind you and they go oh why come to our club the the way anything in the entertainment industry is now seems wonky as fuck like yeah i think we're like i talk about this with my friends would like um look coming from a world where a lot of people tried to break into like the music industry and for sure fashion like heavy music right
00:33:51
Speaker
It went from like labels finding bands they fucking believed in and heard a sound that they thought they could refine and give to the world. Yeah. Like as an act of like like partnership, you know? no Yeah. Look, we know there's predatory labels. Like conceptually the best version of it was that. And now it's like, I have friends that are in these fucking killer bands open for killer bands. Like, you know,
00:34:18
Speaker
Like they're friends with people in like big bands, August yeah Red, Grayscale, like things like that. And you're like, and they are phenomenal. And it's like their big struggle is every label is like, you don't have enough, you don't have enough followers on Spotify. And you're like, that's your fucking job, asshole. That's what you, that's what your whole fucking purpose is. And now it's like, you're just trying to prey on, you just steal other people's success with some false hope and an NDA and a shitty raw deal. it's Now the hope is that like, you know, i literally recorded a friend's podcast today and she was like, oh, why haven't you done a don't tell? Why, why don't you have a manager? Why don't you have this? And I was like, girl, you tell me. I was like, I would love, trust me, I would love to just be able to raise my hand and get any of those things, but it's just, you know, it's not that easy anymore. It's big break. You need to open for Jeff Dye. Yeah, dude. LOL. He got, he got ran out of l LA, which is funny. The last cowboy in l LA is gone. Yeah, he's gone. oh i don't know if he's actually gone, but he he made a GoFundMe to move to Austin. and i can't tell Oh, my God. yeah
00:35:25
Speaker
Yeah. so Which totally flopped. And then afterwards, he's like, I just thought it'd be funny because I'm such a rich guy. you know I asked for $29,000. It's a funny number. you know Yeah, sure, Jeff. dude no here's Here's the funny thing is no one respects him out here. like Literally no. like And it's funny because like...
00:35:45
Speaker
Comedy out here is a pretty supportive thing. No one really wants to like blatantly talk shit about anybody. But everyone will always kind of be like... you are You know Jeff Dye? And and you have to be like, yeah, I don't like him. ah Everyone goes, oh, hell yeah. Because there's like a handful of dudes. you know There's like some Austin adjacent people out here where people will come visit. But yeah, no one likes that guy.
00:36:03
Speaker
I've been following closely his ah his weird career through ah Ben Avery from Lemon Party. Yeah. Oh, he's going Hates his guts. Yeah, he's going to crash out hard here in the next you know few years for sure.
00:36:16
Speaker
Definitely. That's why I knew I recognized his name and it was because of because of you. He's supposedly who got Ben Avery's stuff all taken down from YouTube. Yeah. So, yeah, he's just he's not even like what's funny is like he used to be like a super funny like he's a good joke writer. And then he just is one of those guys that was just like, oh I'm going to buy in on the on the hate wagon. You know, he's like, I'm to get some of this alt-right money. And it's like, dog, you're not even good at that.
00:36:41
Speaker
Like, yeah, it's it's terrible. But no, I am. I am doing some dates with Mark Norman, which is cool. nice yeah Yeah, Hopefully some of his audience will give me a little little pickup. We'll see. We'll see.
00:36:52
Speaker
Well, I'm still waiting for you to come up with date in New England, man. Figure that shit out. Dude, I applaud. there's There's a festival up in Rhode Island that I applied to. I did not get in. They said, we don't like you. We don't like you. Yeah. yeah Hopefully soon. my My hope is that this tour goes well.
00:37:10
Speaker
Spend the summer writing some new stuff, tweaking on it, establishing myself in L.A. a bit more, and then do another do another big big tour in the fall. So we'll see. Nice, dude. Yeah.
Kristi Noem's Husband's Scandal
00:37:20
Speaker
Well, we've spent some time talking about, uh, run-ins with the alt-right and I don't want to, I don't want to let that topic fizzle out yet because great this week I was excited. So originally, uh, we were, this episode's coming out tomorrow.
00:37:39
Speaker
Um, We originally scheduled to talk about this. On the day the news broke, I felt so special, ah so privy. I got to tell Casey about some news for once. Oh, you broke it to him? Yeah. Oh, man. I felt really good about it. Normally, he's the one telling me stuff that's going on. In the middle of whatever I was doing, I went, what? Yeah. I sent you in like really succinct text about it.
00:38:06
Speaker
And, uh, or I feel like I encapsulated the idea of it pretty well. And I imagine if he was like in the middle of a, you know, if he was checking his phone during like a team meeting, would have been pretty jarring read, but, um,
00:38:20
Speaker
Christy Gnomes, Noam. Some people say Gnomes. Some people say Noam. I don't really care. yeah It doesn't matter to me how you pronounce her name because she doesn't matter to me at all. And yeah she's not a real person.
00:38:33
Speaker
But I say Gnome, so that's what I'll do. That's partly because of my affinity for David the Gnome. Yeah. So we'll stick with Christy the gnome. Her husband is accused of the bimbo cross-dressing fetish in messages and photos. So this story really tickled my fancy. It sounds like a woman...
00:38:56
Speaker
a sex worker who received photos from him is the one that leaked them to, um the daily mail, uh, because she was an undocumented immigrant, um, and that she did not appreciate the way that Noam had been handling undocumented immigrants in this country. So, love I mean, it's just so poetic.
00:39:18
Speaker
It is. It's just like, I feel like it perfectly encapsulates everything about the Republican Party at this point. We hate pedophiles because we're pedophiles. We hate gays because we're gay. We hate trans because we like to put on giant fucking titty bibs. and just my My favorite part is the nipples were so crooked, dude. like yeah Yeah. One was pointing out this way. One was out this way. like it was... It's like, brother, if they're fake. you can You can move them around.
00:39:47
Speaker
Yeah, they're not static. They're static-y. They're not static. It's like an Arkansas vision test. yeah That's like, it's the lazy eye yeah of tits.
00:39:58
Speaker
ah But so Brian Noem, husband of former, former Department of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, has allegedly been cross-dressing and messaging sex workers who specialize in bimboification, which I just think is hilarious because clearly Kristi was his gateway drug into that.
00:40:16
Speaker
Yeah. I also just learned that was a word, which is fun. Yeah. Bimboification. It's like, that sounds like a radio head album. Like, uh, what was, it was the, uh, the, in the recent season of South park, Jesus is dating a total bimbo.
00:40:32
Speaker
And, uh, uh, that's what i like it's just like all the like the highly exaggerated giant lips giant tits giant like in everything it's all like the it's like bolt-ons you know yeah everything's fake and plasticky it looks like everything in your body's about to explode yeah like you got stung by a bee on all of your he looks like uh you guys ever watch dog the bounty hunter yeah Yeah. It looks like his, his i think i I think she passed away, so god God rest her soul. But she looks like, or he, Brian Gnome, looks like Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife. Just like, don't know if you remember, but she had like triple Z boobs. Triple H. Yeah.
00:41:11
Speaker
They had to dig an extra deep grave. Yeah. They had to go like seven feet, six and three quarters feet. yeah Oh man. That's funny. Yeah, dude. Just, just a, I mean, it's every accusation is an admission of guilt and it's just hilarious that like,
00:41:27
Speaker
watching the mental gymnastics of these people be like, well, well no, no. no Or they'll they'll automatically be like, well, i thought you guys were accepting of every walk of life. And it's like, yeah, for cool people, not for fascists. for asists yeah for freaks like you guys. And that's what's funny is ah the a lot of the articles they're finding are like with these giant prefaces of like, we're not shaming, cross-dressing, transgender. yeah like but like I just wanna be like, stop doing that. Stop doing that. Nobody thinks you are. like That shows you how fragile the fucking left is, though. Let the left come after the right without being this fucking lame about it. I have a joke that's been doing super well. I really, really like it. I talk about how audiobooks don't count as as reading a real book because that's a hot butt. People think it does. And whenever I post a clip of it, iy thinks it does I get white women in my comments like, well, what about people with disabilities? And it's like, dog, I'm obviously not talking about them. Like, if you're...
00:42:26
Speaker
Like, I even set up the joke where I talk about it because I'm like, it's a a friend of mine at the end of every year who, like, posts all the books she's read. And, like, she's, like, read, like, over 100 books last year. And I was like, that's insane. How did you read that many? And she was like, well, most of them were audiobooks. was like, well, that doesn't count.
00:42:41
Speaker
and like And why are you posting this? Oh, it's to feel superior. Like… But yeah, dude, it's like, dude, so, so, so soft. I wanted to post today, but I was afraid of getting in trouble because I i don't have Twitter. i have threads. But I was like, hey, Kanye sold out two so concerts at SoFi and people are like actively posting themselves in White Lives Matter Kanye shirts. You can say retarded on the internet. Like you're good. I'm in favor.
00:43:09
Speaker
Yeah. I remember ah when... Okay, when the Jerry Falwell Jr. news was breaking. Oh, the pool boy stuff, right?
00:43:20
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, wow. I remember that at that time we were still, like April was still doing a lot of the cosplay stuff, and there was a lot of people that I knew through that. And it's like 2018 or whatever. Yeah. It's in the middle of all the- different time.
00:43:35
Speaker
Yeah, very different time. And I remember a guy- It's crazy it was that long ago. I know. A guy posted that I knew, a dude that I liked, but he was he posted a thing and he was like, there's lots of things I could say about the Jerry Falwell Jr. case, but we don't kink shame.
00:43:53
Speaker
And I just commented, yes, we do. Yeah. well No, it's like the same king shame somebody who's fined you for, you know, being alone with a woman.
00:44:04
Speaker
don't know if you guys give you guys remember, ah ah fuck, Madison Cawthorn was a very conservative Nazi ah congressman out of North Carolina. He was in a wheelchair. i used to call him Adolf Sittler.
00:44:20
Speaker
yeah And people would get mad at me. they're like why They're like, there's so many other things to make fun of him for. Why make fun of his disability? And I was like, because when you're a Nazi, it's fair game.
00:44:33
Speaker
Like, I'm sorry. Same thing with Kristi Noem's husband. When you are married to the literal, like, top five worst people in the country right now, it's fair game. I can call you whatever I want to. Plus, he's like a scumbag insurance salesman that's probably – he's probably stole hundreds thousands of dollars from South Dakota. Like, screw him. Screw both of them. Shot her Dude, one of my favorite tweets – I've never met him, but he's in LA Comics. He's named Skylar Higley. He's like – he's great. And he said – Yeah, he was former guest.
00:45:07
Speaker
Oh, you guys have had Skylar on? Yeah. Oh, that rules. Oh, my God. Hell yeah, dude. It was a while back. Yeah, you probably do him again. He's like he's wrote for the Oscars like he's blowing up. He's fantastic. Yeah, he's very funny. And I'm going to misquote this. So no shade to him. But it was something like you think Kristi Noem would shoot those puppies for how big they were.
00:45:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It was like I saw this dude is like those puppies are so big. I'm surprised. Kristi. That's what it was. Shoot him. Yeah, dude, it's just so, so funny, man. Pop them floppy dogs. Yeah. I feel like you can, buy i i've been I've been standing by this statement for several years now, um and usually in relation to making fun of people's looks and weight. Yeah. But it is, you can't, and you I feel like you're really allowed to make fun of people in direct proportion to how much of a fucking asshole they are.
00:45:58
Speaker
And that's it. Like if you're a really nice person, it doesn't matter. Like I'm not going to make fun of anything about you because actually i don't even care about those things. I'm just trying to find a way to make, yeah to be a dick to you in whatever way that I can.
00:46:13
Speaker
if i ever post a video where i'm like like making fun of like uh some some new thing of conservatism or i'm making fun of trump and i get comments where it's like lol this guy's fat i was like yeah i don't care i open myself up to that also like i i i genuinely don't care what white men on the internet think about me like like okay trevor underscore 1969 like damn i'm really hurt right now Yeah, that's the what it was the other day, but somebody commented. I like I said some snarky joke on a post and a guy comedy goes, oh, well, of course you look like that. I'm like, what does that even mean? dude what do you say That's the Internet loves to do that. Yeah, they still have it. I see those. same type That is the comment of winning the Internet. That's the same as like winning the Internet. Like, yeah. You are an idiot and you're a degenerative, reductive person who knows nothing other than how to steal things you saw that you thought were funny that had a lot of likes. And you're like, yeah ah look at this person and what they look like. Because you saw someone get 1,200 likes for doing that somewhere else. Yeah, it's the guy who says, well, that escalated quickly like every time.
00:47:21
Speaker
Yeah. yeah yeah ah But it's such a funny thing in regards Christy in regards to Christy Gnome's husband's tits that like that living in a repressive society only spurns people to do shit like this behind closed doors. If i if if Brian Noem, however many long years ago, just had a normal open talk about sex and kinks with whoever his authority figure was in his life, or if he actually took like the proper sex education courses, or like porn wasn't shunned. like And I...
00:47:58
Speaker
you know porn is both a good thing and a bad thing but like this dude probably would have been like totally normal or could have had some weird behind the scenes thing where like him and christy you know she dressed up like a man you know she ripped all the makeup off and he dressed up like a woman and they were able to have like weird kinky sex and there's nothing wrong with that but the fact that he is now like championing himself and is married to like not not Goebbels, but like one of the, you know, one of the, like would have been on trial or hopefully will be on trial in whatever the American version of the Nuremberg trials are.
00:48:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's fucking it's it's like if Goebbels was taken down by a Jew in one of the camps like he like the fact that he was exposed by an illegal immigrant sex worker, which is like, God, you say that say that phrase in a conservative white church and people will burst into flames like.
00:48:54
Speaker
on top of that he according to the publication byron messaged three sex workers that he enjoyed their huge huge ridiculous boobs which i really like that quote that is how children talk about boobs dude that is if you type that into google it goes i'm sorry we can't show you these images you're clearly under 18 sexually this man is 12 like i literally i used to go to huge boobs.com when i was a kid like and And he sent over $25,000 to them. Dude. Again, those are the kind of people where I'm like, just give me $1,000. You literally said like 30 minutes ago that $25,000 you could live for two years on. And we have this guy spending that in 15 minutes. He's his money in the community. So got to give him that.
00:49:42
Speaker
He supports small businesses, dude. Yeah, maybe if he didn't live in a loveless marriage of opportunity where his wife is obviously having an affair with her like press secretary or whatever Corey Lewandowski is. like yeah It's gross. The whole thing's gross. It's all a facade. Yeah.
00:49:59
Speaker
Stop investing in these people. Yeah. like it's so dumb to keep like picking these idiots out of the group who are obviously like sculpting themselves into some sort of like ah Just the worst fucking people.
00:50:13
Speaker
Yeah. Just looking at fucking la Lauren Boebert giving handies at Beetlejuice the musical or whatever they were at. like That one was nuts. yeah I was reading, I was looking for other like ah recent articles on this whole thing. So there's one that I found from the independent and it was Christy Gnome's husband.
00:50:32
Speaker
Husband's cross-dressing was an open secret in DC. And there's a lot of people who are like kind of just say, which that big shock, right? Yeah. And then to Casey, your point, it was like,
00:50:43
Speaker
she used that as a way to leverage having an affair. um you know, whatever, like she gets to have her affair. He's doing this. They might not even really be that into each other, but that's how political marriages work. Yeah. Right. You're just kind of going along with it. Um, and there's a lot of people are like, yeah, we've, we've all known about it and we make fun of it, uh, behind closed doors. Cause it's funny.
00:51:04
Speaker
Yeah. But like, again, not much you can do about it, but I think what was really fun was when Christie gnome weighed in, on the report um and she had said like she well first she's like oh i'm devastated fire the salacious allegations her husband lives a double life um and she goes ah mrs noam is it someone i don't know this is from um the gnomes representative but mrs gnome is devastated the family was blindsided by this which obviously according to current reports they weren't yeah maybe the kids were like yeah i know they have kids i doubt he's doing this shit in front of the kids um but and they asked for it says they asked for privacy at this time ah privacy and prayers and Of course. same And I was thinking about what kind of prayers they'd be looking for. And I don't know if you guys are interested in doing, taking a moment together to, to muster up, ah you know, our most authentic prayer for the gnome family as they deal with this. It's been a while since I've, since I began a prayer publicly with a heavenly father or a dear Lord, but yeah I don't know. Is this, are Are you guys interested in putting your biases by the to the side to to follow in the footsteps of our Lord and Savior and pray for those who persecute us? I'm feeling the spirit. you know they say we they say They say when Two or more? Yeah.
00:52:36
Speaker
when two or more gathered so two or more yeah God is listening right now, brothers in Christ. um I can get us started. We can do a little popcorn prayer. Look, you don't have to.
00:52:50
Speaker
You do not have to pray. um Some people aren't comfortable. I just want to you know get my my basic like youth pastor ah vibe going where you're you people into praying by telling them they really don't have to. But if ever if enough people do, you're going to feel like a piece of shit for not doing His name is Brian, right? Yeah, Brian. Brian. Brian with a B-R-Y-O-N. Not regular Brian.
00:53:16
Speaker
Brian. Brian. Okay. Brian. I want to make sure I'm getting his name right. I don't want these prayers going to the wrong Brian. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm happy to start us off. should like Why not? Yeah. Do it.
00:53:27
Speaker
yeah you yeah music do it
00:53:31
Speaker
Okay, I can feel the spirit leading. Heavenly Father, Lord God, i just I just lift up the gnome family to you at this time. They're going through some real heavy trials, some persecution. yeah Brian has sinned. he's and We've all sinned and fallen short.
00:53:49
Speaker
And as long as he seeks your face and and repents, then we know that there'll there'll be a mansion for him in heaven. You know, he he is he is truly, truly sorry for what he's done. And I can tell because I'm a good judge of character and I know what all of my politicians are thinking and feeling simultaneously.
00:54:12
Speaker
And it's clear to me that he is seeking your guidance and that the Noam family is is looking for your for your guidance through this challenging time. And I just also want to pray against the spirit of persecution and the spirit of liberalism that's coming up against them uh that you would quell that spirit and then you would cast it to light the fire father god
00:54:38
Speaker
wow know if you guys feel this i don't know if you feel this right now but but the spirit is moving through everyone in this room Amen. I feel it, brother. Yeah, and Father God.
00:54:50
Speaker
oh no. Did we lose the music? You lost the spirit. The spirit is left. spirit left. The spirit left. Hold on. It's happening again. Oh, it's back. Father God. ah Daddy. Daddy God. I just want to say god our brother our brother Brian is is hurting right now.
00:55:06
Speaker
ah He's having... villainous sins cast in his name lies from the woke left media clouding his vision and i just i just want to i just want to say that uh if a man wants to don absolutely honcho titties that you love that because you love everything you love everything god you love ryan gnomes massive rockets amen because you know that behind those massive rockets is a heart that's sold out for you
00:55:40
Speaker
amen And I just want to lift up the gnomes right now. and And I just want, I'm getting a word, i'm getting spirit right now that- ah that Yes, Daddy. That coming coming down from from God, from it they're in the heavens right now is is the gnome's family dog. And it's saying, Brian, I miss you. Dad, I miss you.
00:56:00
Speaker
i love you. And I and and i and i think you're i think your bimboification is fine. And I just you know i just want you to know that I can't wait to be reunited with you.
00:56:11
Speaker
in heaven because right now God is casting lots aside ah for for both of your tits and and I just can't wait to see you and just want to share that word with you to the gnome family from from your dog in heaven blessed be thy name Lord Lord God We come before you as broken, broken sinners service of our brother Brian.
00:56:41
Speaker
Brian. He has fallen, Lord, much like your servant David when he did look down from his roof upon the other much shorter roofs where people apparently take baths and do hygienic work, Lord.
00:57:03
Speaker
And he saw those supple, large sweat of meats, bathing in the light of the sun. And he said,
00:57:19
Speaker
Much like it recalls, Lord, the words of your servant Hannibal Lecter. He said, what do we covet? That which we see every day. And we know that this sin, this this demon of covetry was planted in him by his own wife, Christie's large, weird, hard, fake boobs.
00:57:42
Speaker
And he says, I want that. And we pray, Lord, for Brian, that he amen not only finds the that that the sense of purpose in his own earthly breasts, but we pray that there yet awaits him bountiful set of heavenly breasts. Bountiful.
00:58:08
Speaker
On them streets of gold, Lord. Big, big ridiculous boobs.
00:58:15
Speaker
We lift him up in your arms, Lord, and we pray for him in his time of need. And we also say, screw his skank wife. Amen. Amen, brothers.
00:58:26
Speaker
Hey man, that was good guys. I feel closer. i feel like we got closer together. um I do feel bad that I missed out. I, I, there were a few things that I missed that I really meant to pray for, but God knows my heart. God knows that I care about his ability to correctly place and centralize his nipples properly. Yeah.
00:58:47
Speaker
um If that's important to him, but maybe he likes, maybe he likes those weird off center nipples. Maybe that's part of the bad boob job process that actually gets him going.
00:58:57
Speaker
God doesn't kink shame. It's our little imperfections that make us beautiful. Yeah, that that like that north and south nipple shit going on. And your hawk-eyed nipples from your botched boob job.
00:59:09
Speaker
He likes the lazy-eyed version of the circle. Dude. That's funny. Does this eventually like turn, like, is the eventual outcome of bimbofication fetish, is it the guys who wear, like, the latex lady suits with the face and everything? I i think so, yeah. I think it's, like, entry-level drag.
00:59:28
Speaker
Yeah. and You know, that, that makes, that does make sense. Um, because that's kind of the way you go when you do drag. It's like that. yeah Everything's big and, it's over the top. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That, that, that makes a lot of sense.
00:59:43
Speaker
I wonder how, if I can find out tall he is. Let's see. Are you guys, uh, do you want to hear a little, so I found a new subreddit that I, I found some interesting posts on.
00:59:55
Speaker
Okay. Uh, So it's r slash Christian marriage. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, dude, I bet there's some good ones. Yeah, these are solid. Like, okay, here's the thing, and I'm not trying to spoil anything, but it's all sex stuff.
01:00:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah, always. It's 100% of it is. It's crazy how when you raise a generation ah to not do this one thing and talk about how good and pure and wonderful this one thing is, how it just overcomes their mind.
01:00:25
Speaker
Yeah, you you spent twenty they spent 25 years having this built up in their mind by weird pastors talking about their hot wives. Yeah, and who are who are beating it crazy style to weird shit behind the scenes. Yeah. All all of them. And then...
01:00:40
Speaker
And then they get married at the age of like 28 years old, both of them virgins, and they're blown away by how bad sex is. Yeah. They're like, is it supposed to hurt?
01:00:51
Speaker
like Yeah, it's like, ah yeah, it is funny because this is OK. So this kind of plays into what you're talking about here. OK, this is actually a um
Religious Challenges in Sexual Relationships
01:01:00
Speaker
a female poster. And the title is waited for marriage now having sexual problems.
01:01:07
Speaker
My husband and I waited for marriage. I had been abstinent for over seven years. He had been for almost two years. While we were dating, things were always hot and heavy between us, so I never imagined we'd have sexual problems.
01:01:19
Speaker
On our wedding night, he was so nervous and anxious, he wasn't able to maintain an erection until after about two hours of trying. For the first couple days of our honeymoon, he also struggled a lot with this. That's wild.
01:01:33
Speaker
so Hold on. I get need to pause already. Sorry. I was trying to pull up some of the saved Reddit posts I had. So I might have missed something. And I'm sorry for my lack of attention. pray that you guys will forgive me for that. But was this his first time too? don't think so. It sounds like he had had sex for seven years or two years.
01:01:56
Speaker
Yeah, he had been abstinent for two years. She had been abstinent for seven years. So I assume that these it doesn't say their ages, but I assume that these are a little bit older people. Yeah, 30. That's for plenty of time. If you haven't if you've been abstinent for two years, you're to bust hard. Yeah, yeah. If you've been abstinent for two years. Yeah.
01:02:14
Speaker
So says for the first couple days of our honeymoon he also struggled a lot with this after those three- i days it This A week or so later, the same thing happened, and I self-satisfied to lash out at him.
01:02:41
Speaker
so Oh, my God. Yeah, that. Oh, yeah. That lashing out revenge. Who's who has a problem with that? That's crazy. It was wrong. I know. Ever since then. She thinks her husband has not jerked off. Yeah, she thinks masturbating is cheating. That's crazy, dude. Nuts, dude. She's like, I did it to get back at him. Like, it was wrong. He's obvious. Wow. She thinks that that's not happening? She's asking her pastor to clear, to, to,
01:03:08
Speaker
ah fucking forgive her sins because she cheated on her husband for for DJ for DJ and on the old on the old meat flaps couple times. That's crazy. if You're a lesbian or you're gay if you masturbate. you and That's that's such a mess well, that's where it leads. You know, I do remember that from church.
01:03:26
Speaker
Oh, did you like touching your privates? That's only one step away from liking to touch someone else's privates of the same sex. God, careful. Ever since then, he's been having serious issues maintaining an erection. He claims the whole thing messed with his confidence and pride. It's been about a week since the incident, and he struggled with what I think is anxiety-related ED.
01:03:50
Speaker
It's so hard for me to be supportive and patient because I've waited so long for this. No, Spence is right. It's gay-related ED. Yeah. it's also hard for me to see him struggle because he's such a confident self-assured man it's gotten to the point where i don't want to initiate because i don't know if he will get hard and when he initiates he gets to a point where he gives up when he's not getting hard How is a man not aroused by his naked wife? How is my confidence not supposed to be affected? This is just a really painful cycle, and I foresee it causing a lot of problems in our young marriage. I just want to have regular stress-free sex with my husband. Has anyone else dealt with this? I really need help.
01:04:30
Speaker
And this is why you have sex before marriage. Yeah. She's not. What's crazy is like, she's not asking for anything out of the ordinary. Like, no, no. Extremely level headed take from this poster. ah there It's too, this guy is either gay or he is watching so much porn that he is like desensitized his penis. That's how I feel. Yeah. i yeah Okay. So that's, that's what's kind of entertaining about this post in a, in a, in a way. Yeah. It's like,
01:04:55
Speaker
You know, especially as you get older, like ED's a thing. Yeah, And there's a lot of buildup and a lot of pressure, like, yeah then maybe that affects you. And now you've had like a couple of negative experiences. It's weighing on your mind.
01:05:09
Speaker
Like, I could see how this could be an issue. Yeah. And it seems to me like two people who are really not that worried about satisfying the other.
01:05:20
Speaker
No, you know like it seems like both of them are kind of coming in trying to protect themselves rather than like, ah you know, pleasure the other person. Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:30
Speaker
And reading through the comments here. Oh, my God. It's so many people accusing him of having a porn addiction. that Dude, that's all Reddit comments. Any Reddit Christian, anything sex-related, he doesn't seem into me. He's too into me. He asked to try anal. it's ah No, porn porn, porn, porn, porn. Everyone's like, yeah he's watching tons of porn. But the thing is, it's like they're probably right. It's a possibility.
01:05:57
Speaker
like Of course, like what is a porn addiction according to Reddit Christians? Dude, I... I can say, yeah, yeah yeah i can i can I can say this because this guy, i I don't think he's on social media anymore. And I won't say his name or anything. I'm to figure out how to phrase this. I mean, he's ah he's not a bad person.
01:06:14
Speaker
A person I know, ah ah they I knew both of them, the ah husband and wife, not well, acquaintance level, you know but well enough to you know talk cordially. Let's say maybe I saw them in the neighborhood every now and then if you're picking up what I'm putting down. And they when when I got divorced, ah the husband ah reached out to me and was like, hey, man, hate to say this, but we are also going through a separation. And I was like, oh man, I'm so sorry. Like, Hey, I, at this point I was like kind of past mine already. I was like, let's go grab a beer, you know, happy to talk it out with you. Cause I knew that his, his wife was very religious, like annoyingly. So like, I like followed her followed her like on Instagram, don't anymore. and it was just one of those things where i was like, oh, like damn girl, like read a book, you know, like one of those things. Yeah. Yeah.
Porn and Its Impact on Relationships
01:07:06
Speaker
we were hanging out and he was like, and I will say wife was absolutely gorgeous. Like, like, like, and a nice person, just, just, you know, kind of like idiotically Christian. Um, but like, again, a, a very, very, very attractive person. Uh, and he was like, yeah, we, uh, she caught me watching porn and she thought I was, she like considered that cheating.
01:07:27
Speaker
And but then again, he would like tell me, he like told me too much detail. He was like, well, I was watching this and doing this. And the entire time I was like, bro, why are you not fucking your extremely hot wife? like what is going Like, what is going on? Like, because, like, there are times where, and I can say this, ah like, I was in a sexless marriage. We weren't doing it. And I would, like, talk to the wife, you know, from, you know because I would see her in the neighborhood, and I'd be like, damn, dude, I hope he's hitting it. Like, you know, it was one of those things, which is gross to say. i'll yeah I'll out myself. I know that's not the best thing to say. But then when we, like, he and I got a beer, and he was like, yeah, we, like, he's like I didn't have sex her, man. I was just, like, literally...
01:08:04
Speaker
Like he told me like in vivid detail, like how much porn he was watching. And it was like, oh, no, multiple multiple times a day. Like he was like doing it at work, like, like truly like using it for like anxiety relief. And then he would say like she would find out, I guess they had some sort of some sort of like history. v ive Yeah. Or something. He was still doing it even with that.
01:08:25
Speaker
Yeah, dude. like That's when you know you're an addict, actually. It's like yeah it it like if you know people are watching. like it's It's different than when God's watching, you know? Because we know God's always watching, and that doesn't deter us very much. but then a similar in a similar way, like like from what we talked about, it sounded like his wife like wanted to have sex, and he just... he couldn't he couldn't cross that bridge or something and that's where like it is yeah yeah that's that's where i'll say on reddit what i said previously like porn can be a good thing in terms of like teaching yourself what you're into and blah blah blah but it can also be like an extremely and i think more so now it can be an extremely uh negative thing because it can it just teaches people just like just wildly unrealistic views of sex
01:09:10
Speaker
Right. Yeah. I feel like people's tastes get like so specific that it's like, dude, I'm never going to find this in the real world. i mean, one of the funniest things, I don't know why I haven't talked about this on stage, but I, you know, me and a girl I dated in high school, we, we gave each other our virginity. We were very religious at the time. I was 18. I was watching a lot of porn, you know, as one does when they're 18. And I remember I saw this move where the guy put his put his penis in the girl and like shook it really fast. He like grabbed it at the base and shook it. And he literally went, it's he's like, I call this the human vibrator, you know, like, and, you know, in the video, the girl's like, ah, going nuts, you know, because it's porn.
01:09:49
Speaker
I tried that on the girl I was dating in high school. And she literally went, what the fuck are you doing? Oh, nothing. So stuff like that. Like that is where, now that's a very, ah what's the word? Not, not a, oh my God, I'm blanking on the word, but that's a very. benign example. Yeah. Now there's way worse examples where like people think that sex is going to be this, you know,
01:10:14
Speaker
gross, sweaty, you know, you're goingnna come on each other's faces and all this shit. Like, yeah. So I do my guess is from that Reddit thread is that guy is probably he's either deeply closet, which is very possible in ah in the Christian faith or probably would come up in the porn he was watching. Exactly. Didn't come up here. Like, yeah, she's not like he's watching an immense amount of gay porn.
01:10:33
Speaker
I'm not sure if he's straight. It wasn't that they've also they've also been married for like two weeks at this point. which is this is This is a two-week-old problem, so I don't know. I don't know. I feel like I find i kind of feel bad for the guy that like people are just leveling accusations at him. I don't know how religious these people are. They don't really bring it up in If they're posting on in the Christian marriage, they're probably pretty religious. It's a possibility for sure.
01:11:00
Speaker
Yeah. i I don't know. i just like kind of felt bad for the guy that like, oh, there's like 300 people in here planting in his wife's mind that like he's a yeah' a weird. good Oh, yeah. gen That's why I would. Dude, I found out that my ah my ex-wife had like posted some relationship stuff on Reddit. And I was like, hey, hey, what the like?
01:11:23
Speaker
And it wasn't it like it wasn't even like really about me. It was like, you know, without, you know, airing anything. She was dealing with some stuff. She was asking questions in regard to herself, but but how it pertained to
Reddit as a Source for Relationship Advice
01:11:32
Speaker
our relationship. And I was like, how much too much hair?
01:11:38
Speaker
something But it was this thing where it was like, hey, you know i don't you don't want to get advice from people on Reddit. They are like the like bottom barrel internet dwellers, dude. 100%. Yeah. Especially in these Christian forums, it's like a race to the bottom of like... It is. Who can be the most virtue signally... like Yeah.
01:11:58
Speaker
Yeah. I've been in there trolling. Some likes to get deleted, though. i get my My comments get deleted a lot. I don't know. It's not fair. Dude, that's so funny. yeah Look, it... In it, Casey, I think your point is great where it's like they're feeding into like this woman. Like, cause that look, you're going into a Christian relationship or i mean, whatever non-Christian relationships can feel a type of way about porn and what the consumption of it should or shouldn't look like. Yeah. If at all. Like that's fine. That's up for the couples to figure out and work out whatever. But like, if you,
01:12:32
Speaker
but the Christian Reddit is literally any, every single time a woman's on there posting about issues with like sexual issues with their partner.
01:12:44
Speaker
and Every comment is like, well, he's probably watching tons of porn. Like it's always that. And you go, some of them have no real reason to believe that. Oh yeah. It's like you're telling on yourself at this point. Like when you, when you jump that far, you go, okay, I can see why you're having relationship challenges too. It's also like some of of it, like there was one that was like, it's so often porn.
01:13:09
Speaker
And I was like, i clicked on the profile and it's like a 20 year old girl. And it's like, how, based on what are you saying? Like, how are, how would you know you're 20 years old? Like, but it it also like all of these, all of these deals, there's like these guys in here that are kind of, I don't know. So much of what is in these forums is just like,
01:13:31
Speaker
People like beating their chest over some like, yeah ah you know, supposed moral conquest of something. it's It's like, oh, dude, i scrolled past one earlier. It was like, ah like 1520 days without porn. Ask me anything.
01:13:48
Speaker
It's like, oh, my God. Just say yeah years at that point, dude. 1520. fifty in twenty 525,600 minutes. Yeah. it But again, it it it it like it circles back. Abstinence from porn turns people into raging internet assholes. But if you're actually an addict with substance, you turn into a really humble person that has something to offer.
01:14:16
Speaker
It's like straight edge kids. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah. Strange people like can be like massive assholes. That many days variety into a weapon that I can bludgeon you with. And then I will literally bludgeon you in the, which is kind of the Christian way. That's how evangelicals on the internet go to fucking therapy, dude.
01:14:35
Speaker
So they go to Christian therapy and it doesn't. Oh dude, I got, I got sent to that as a kid. That was brutal. Only like therapy. is Only like real sessions. Yeah. I would bring up like legit like topics to this guy to be like, well, the Bible doesn't talk about that. So we're we're going to have to move on to something else. And I was just like, what? Like this real thing in my life that I'm actually having a hard time with.
01:14:59
Speaker
Yeah, i I literally was like, as i was like, how old was I? Maybe like 15 or 16. I'm trying to remember. I remember the guy's office because he had a pretty bitchin' statue of ah a bald eagle perched atop a cross.
01:15:11
Speaker
Oh, my God. I like that. Like one of those ones is that you see like at a mall kiosk, you know? Yeah. But I remember like telling him like, mean, like, Hey man, sometimes I, uh, I kind of want to die. And he was like, well, like waved his hands. He was like, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna not talk about that. Oh my God. That's yeah crazy.
01:15:31
Speaker
Just know that if you do, you'll go to hell. i I do think, I think that's all he said. I think he was like, well, he's like, what I can speak on is that if, if you ever, uh, put actions to those thoughts and and that happens, he's like, you know, he's,
01:15:44
Speaker
Soffitt that he's like, your family be very sad. He's like, but you would not inherit the kingdom of God. And I was just like, okay, all right. And traditionally speaking, we're honor bound by a Catholic law to cut your head off your court. Yeah. Honor bound. We're also – not legally bound, but bound by our church to not mention this to any authorities that could actually help
Fiance's Double Life and Its Aftermath
01:16:10
Speaker
you with that. It's like, we have to suppress this kind of information because it makes the church look bad. Dude, it's so brutal. We it's ah the irony to being like, OK, so I can't kill myself, but Jesus can do something that knowingly would get him killed. And he gets risen from the dead and goes, down oh, big difference, bitch. All right. Damn.
01:16:30
Speaker
I try to walk on water and I die. Suicide cop it is. yeah Oh, my God, dude. That's amazing. God, that's funny, dude.
01:16:45
Speaker
Okay, so this is a different flavor of a similar sort of thing in in l yeah case debt this case. This one's dark. a Marriage question plus a bit of trauma explanation.
01:16:58
Speaker
Tight. I'm 22 years old. I've been passionately pursuing Jesus since I was 15. So red flag number one. That's a weird thing to say. Yeah. I was engaged for a year when I found out my fiance who got saved when we were just friends was living a double life.
01:17:16
Speaker
He was about to be deep breath in our church. He was leading our campus ministry and was all around perfect. I was meeting him with grace while I was fight figuring out what was true and what was a lie. And again, that's a weird thing to say. Okay, sure. that she did Did this person get married to our old dorm mate? Yeah.
01:17:36
Speaker
I just love I love the ah leading a double life because I can't wait for whatever the turn is cause it's always like something so in it's like something inconsequential. Yeah.
01:17:49
Speaker
Yeah. OK. Essentially, all I found out directly from him was a porn addiction and that he compulsively lied every day about big life things.
01:18:00
Speaker
Unfortunately, and small things, a.k.a. his penis, dude. Unfortunately, he took his life the following day after I begged him not to leave.
01:18:11
Speaker
The fuck? Now you made us feel bad. Whoa. No, I don't feel bad. ah that's great Dang. So wait, they literally shamed this guy within an inch of his life and he killed himself?
01:18:23
Speaker
Supposedly, yes. Wow. After I begged him not to leave. Okay. What I don't, I don't really understand.
Public Confession of Porn Addictions
01:18:31
Speaker
du yeah yeah Yeah. That's confusing.
01:18:34
Speaker
Right. I had found out that day he had chat GPT messages and called me with scripts to sound more Christian. God, dude people got to stop you. You know what I'm glad he killed himself. He asked chat how to make himself cry. Like he was in a movie.
01:18:50
Speaker
He had, this guy's just a sociopath. Well, he had a sociopath doesn't actually kill themselves because they have no. True. True. So this is weird. This guy was trying really hard. I told him to kill himself. This is actually a future. police document um Yeah.
01:19:06
Speaker
Yeah. I think he was trying very hard to play a role. Yeah. Because he said she says he had gay porn on his phone. So that, along with many other things, leads me to believe he was gay as well as he was spending excessively for himself, but got me a fake Amazon ring for seventy dollars and spun spun a whole six month elaborate lie on that before we got engaged.
01:19:31
Speaker
So one of those things is not like the other. hmm. He had gay porn on his phone, and I think he might have been gay. Plus, ah he spent a lot of money on himself, but then he got me a cheap ring.
01:19:44
Speaker
Yeah. He's definitely gay. For sure, for sure. And my guess is that engaged to here. This, this lady sounds like something. There's a naivety here. That's sad.
01:19:58
Speaker
Yeah. The double life thing is so funny to me. This guy was like, i think I even brought, I probably bring this up every episode I'm on. Cause it's like one of my favorite things and it cracks me up, but like just the, the vilification of masturbation in the Christian community is so funny to me, dude. Like there's a kid from my old Bible study in college.
01:20:17
Speaker
that used to like, whenever, you know, the end, Hey, anybody need prayer? What can we add? What we add to the prayer list, blah, blah, blah. Let's pray every single time. Guys, I just, I'm addicted to, I'm addicted to jacking off. I got stop. I'm addicted to porn. I got to stop.
01:20:30
Speaker
And he took a, like, inner was there like, guys and girls or is it john theses just guys just just the boys yeah yeah but he would then he took it so far know if you guys can hear my dog is having a crazy dream right now okay yeah you can okay little feet twitching yeah dude so he's running his ass off um he would get on facebook and post like and i remember we brought it up and we were like hey
Authenticity of Reddit Stories
01:20:54
Speaker
man you don't have to do that and he was like no but when i when i post about it on facebook it's shameful for me and that makes me not want to do it and i was like i don't know i think it's
01:21:02
Speaker
I don't know. I look at the frequency and it doesn't seem have helped. guys him every like minutess He would literally like, your way of getting off his status would be like, guys, please pray for me right now. I've i've sinned and I've masturbated again. And then he would get like, I've masturbated it onto my own bed, the place that I pray for God. And we're like, whoa, dude, like, all right, chill out. Whoa.
01:21:24
Speaker
like That's nuts. Weird shit, bro. I just masturbated for the 14th time today. Nothing but a plume of smoke came out. no New record. It feels like I just launched a nuke into my toilet. Dude.
01:21:39
Speaker
But yeah, in regards to this ah this lady's since since past fiance, I do wonder how many people are just making up stories in the subreddit just to like laugh, you know? like There does seem to be some of that going on. But at the same time, it sounds like maybe this guy was closeted, was watching gay porn, got found out, yeah that yeah didn't have the facilities to handle it himself, asked ChatGPT,
01:22:06
Speaker
Played this chat GPT character for a little bit. Got really stressed out. Was like, well, i have to kill myself. I 100%. Yeah. If this is a true story, that is like the logical progression here. Is that like. Yeah.
01:22:18
Speaker
He couldn't deal with the shame and the turmoil of being gay in a world that was so awful towards it. And I was like, all right, I'm done. Which, if that's true, fuck you, Casey, actually, for bringing this story here. Hey, look, man. Not very funny. Not super funny. I'm sorry that you reacted 100% genuinely to this story. I think it's funny that people feel comfortable enough to...
Doubts in Relationships and Divine Warnings
01:22:43
Speaker
That shows such a larger problem with we have a society that people...
01:22:47
Speaker
feel the need to talk about like this extremely intimate and sad thing on reddit dude right like what doesn't seem that all that broken up about no dude like it's it's more like matter of fact he happened to kill himself like actually that how how this has affected me it's like like i actually went to my reddit profile today because i uh an episode for a podcast dropped that like you know is is pretty popular and i and i they have a subreddit i commented in the subreddit to you know try and get some people to my shows and also it's a fun community one of the rare ones and i was like let me go to my post history and make sure there ain't any weird shit on here and it's like no i'm talking about how angry one stock makes me then i'm literally talking about pokemon cards and hockey like maybe i scroll all the way actually have you guys ever scrolled to you the very very end of your i've i haven't looked at this this is crazy
01:23:41
Speaker
Mine isn't too extensive. i do I've unfortunately been on Reddit for way too long. um mean i' this is through the i made a podcast Reddit that I'm not particularly active in. I'll just comment on stuff here and there. so ah i don't post a lot. I've tried posting, and then there's all these weird rules when you post. All my shit gets deleted, so I don't know. I've apparently been on Reddit for 14 years. what Yeah. And my first ever post was, dude, it's an ask Reddit.
01:24:12
Speaker
This is, it's not bad. I'm just laughing because it's just so stupid because I remember the job I had when I wrote this, but I would say it was an ask Reddit post. I said, when I get bored, usually around the office I work at, I pretend the menial tasks I'm doing, such as stapling papers or tossing something in the trash is a televised sports event with commentators. What do y'all do to pass the time?
01:24:34
Speaker
And I remember I, dude, I had to like stay, I worked for a boat building company. I had like staple all these like presentations together. And I would literally in my head, I'd be like Oh, he grabs a stapler. Oh, a perfect corner. He's done it again. like literally.
01:24:48
Speaker
Jeez, dude. Okay, so continuing on here. Yeah. All that to say he was a very broken man, and I hate that he did what he did, but I let the Lord in to heal my heart in so many ways, and he did. I lost a lot, but was grateful. Now we know the sociopath is. Yeah.
01:25:06
Speaker
this This is amazing. I lost a lot, but was grateful the Lord protected me from marrying him. Jesus, oh I'm so glad he killed himself. re Yeah. bra Protected me by letting him kill himself.
01:25:19
Speaker
Casey, I, okay. I take back what I said. This was a plot twist. Truly. i have a new boyfriend who is truly incredible. Oh no. He loves Florida. If this one kills himself too, we know that she's a black widow. We got a podcast on our He loves the Lord so much, has helped me heal from my trauma. He understands a failed engagement and just is so patient and kind with me.
01:25:43
Speaker
It feels like a steady fireplace kind of love. With my ex-fiance, it felt like so much passion, giddiness, and I was just so visibly in love with him. It didn't matter what he was doing. I could stare at him and feel my eyes get all big and wide and my heart just melt.
01:25:59
Speaker
But with that, I had so much spiritual warfare and was being actively manipulated every day as well. With my new relationship, he feels so safe and I love him. It's just not with the same passion or intensity as I had for my ex.
01:26:15
Speaker
But my new boyfriend is truly is so wonderful. I have fun around him. Honestly, we had a crazy audible word from the Lord that brought us together. No, God.
01:26:25
Speaker
No. So crazy. There's nothing wrong with, there's nothing wrong, but I will randomly have intrusive thoughts like this won't work or you need to run. They don't last long, but they scare me because I wonder if the Lord or my gut was trying to tell me something like last time, or if it's just the enemy trying to get me away from someone who has sacrificed sanctified and grown and helped me heal so much, or if it's just a trauma response.
01:26:53
Speaker
The fact that you can't know the difference is pretty telling about what the bike how much all
Gossip Compared to Murder Debate
01:27:01
Speaker
of that matters. and i think that An audible word from the Lord. Is it God telling me something, or is it the enemy trying to make me believe God is telling something to ruin my life? And it's a 50-50 toss-up, and there's no way to discern the difference. So I'm coming to Reddit for guys to save my future.
01:27:21
Speaker
Yeah, I need thousands of other mentally unstable people to tell me how to feel. it's crazy I feel like just commenting like, look, just trust the Lord. He took care of the last situation.
01:27:32
Speaker
Dude. You said it yourself. Oh my God, man. it Just let go and let God, you know? Dude, it it just reminds me every time. I just rewatched a True Detective season one. and there's I didn't do that. so That's all my it's on my list. There's that scene where he's talking about religion and he's like, he's like in the in the the interrogation room and he's like,
01:27:57
Speaker
Me? Me? Me? It's all about me. I'm so freaking important. That's what so many of these feel like. It's like, yeah dude creator of the universe saved you from marrying a guy who didn't tell you the full truth asked chat GPT how to talk to you by by you know killing him.
01:28:19
Speaker
It's insane. The fact that you can ask chat GPT how to help you with religion is crazy. Like, short surely that is that is creating some sort of fight false idolatry. like Right. yeah Don't you have a pastor?
01:28:36
Speaker
Yeah. Which just probably actually is equally qualified as Chad GVT. Sign up for Chad GVT Golden Calf Edition.
01:28:45
Speaker
yeah dude peter teal i uh i wish this red if this reddit post ended with like everything's been going great there are some challenges i did go into his computer the other day and i started to search and i saw he saw a past search history for boys kissing and it just ends there with like a winky face or some shit like that And you're like, all right, she's going to get a Netflix documentary too. For sure, dude. Yeah.
01:29:14
Speaker
Oh man. Yeah. There's just so many on here. It's hard to pick from them all. The truth, the truth yeah behind Ruth. Okay, so you have a tendency to hone in on some interesting ones. I had a few saved um about like like, I don't know. I feel like you have it. Like I have to, I look at the title. I start reading it and I've actually, you brought a couple to the table before that I started to read and moved on from. i was like, I don't think that'll be good. And then you bring it and it's good. And you do have a sixth sense for Reddit post weirdness.
01:29:46
Speaker
um but i Through appreciation for lunatics. Yeah, you do. Because in the text I don't I don't. There's certain qualities about these things that I skip over. and I don't know what it is I'm looking for or what you're doing. Right.
01:30:02
Speaker
I know what I'm doing tomorrow. I am. a i got I got a job interview at 930 that I'm not stoked on. And then I'm going spend all day. Just just scroll through that. That's a reddit. Yeah, a couple of good ones for you is TrueChristian, r slash TrueChristian. TrueChristian. r slash Christian Dating, r slash Christian Dating Advice.
01:30:24
Speaker
Like, if you're looking, okay, r slash TrueChristian. Here's a little quickie. Yeah, I'm going to it right now. This is some really good advice. It's crazy. For all my sisters in Christ, stay away from gossip, right?
01:30:35
Speaker
God. This person has a really important message for the women in his life because he loves women so much. For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, look. Biblically. This is a man specifically speaking to the Christian sisters. Yeah. I just want to remind others, particularly women, as this is a predominantly a women's struggle, IMO. Gossip in all forms is demonic.
01:31:00
Speaker
It's no different than murder. It's the same, the exact same. Yeah. That sounds crazy, but it's not.
Marital Disputes Over Clothing Choices
01:31:08
Speaker
I've seen people kill themselves and others because of what people said about them behind their back.
01:31:15
Speaker
and the people responsible rarely got caught, because god but God sees. a gossip A gossip is no different than a murder, which is why it is an abomination to God. Don't be deceived.
01:31:29
Speaker
It seems light, but it isn't. It ruins lives. Please don't partake in it. this is a guy who did something awful. Yeah. He's trying to head off somebody very particular who he knows is on Reddit. He's like trying to lay the guilt trip so that they don't, they don't tell his wife that he is having a fling with a, yeah ah a fellow lying bitch wife can't stop saying secrets about me. dude I like to jack off a lot. Isn't it so funny when like you see like, uh, uh,
01:32:02
Speaker
public personality get openly religious you're like oh hell yeah awful what did you do wrong like yeah who would you rape yeah it's never you know they did something awful or an accusation is coming like he has so the red rebrand it uh there's an edit here oh hell yeah i've i've been getting a lot of down votes apparently man gossip as much this is new to me but either way we all need to do better in that area than l lo l Oh my God, dude.
01:32:32
Speaker
Yeah, this guy sucks. Can I, can I read you? do i have but This guy's not the boyfriend of the last post. What were you saying, Casey? Can I read you one more? This one, is please this one goes in a totally different sort of direction. Okay. I felt it was pretty interesting and alarming. So the the title is, was I overreacting?
01:32:53
Speaker
This is in Christian marriage. It says usually the answer is Yes. I've posted on here before a couple of times, but deleted. There's this fight my husband, late 30s, and I, early 30s, keep having. We've been having it since we met.
01:33:07
Speaker
He wants me to look a certain way and wear certain things, which I don't inherently have a problem with. And if I disagree on an occasion, either for style or weather slash comfort reason, he gets mad and we have to have a fight or conversation about it.
01:33:23
Speaker
His POV, he thinks I'm beautiful and just wants everyone to see it, which we're in unfamiliar territory for the Christian Reddits, right? Male sexuality is very visual, and he always brings up this example of seeing women dressed really skimpy in the dead of winter, and why can't I do that too, et cetera, along those lines. I want your tits to get frostbite.
01:33:46
Speaker
i'm just That's what gets me going. I'm just being stubborn and refusing simply because he asked. ah My point of view, sometimes certain outfits don't make sense in certain settings or contexts. Sometimes I just want to wear what I want to wear. Sometimes certain outfits don't make sense and are really inappropriate for the weather weather or the season.
01:34:07
Speaker
And I don't like how it feels when it's freezing outside and he's telling me not to wear a coat. Fair. What very fair? The way that this guy's being painted is just normal. It's wild. She like really doing him a lot. of It's just a difference of opinion. No, it's he's a fucking psychopath that's abusing you. We actually you have Stockholm syndrome update. We live in Nineveh and the temperature is negative 17 degrees Celsius.
01:34:34
Speaker
And he wants me, he's trying to get me to wear a pencil skirt. We're in Balto territory and I'm not here in a skimpy dress. It just seems weird and it always has. I don't know. It's like he cares more about his visual preferences than my health and comfort. So yes, for that reason, I can be stubborn.
01:34:54
Speaker
Yeah. You're an object to him. Shocking. It's evangelical culture. So here's a recent example. The other day we had a last...
01:35:05
Speaker
I'm getting a little sweaty. The other day we had a last minute opportunity to go out for dinner without the kids. We were away from home and I didn't have... That sucks that they have kids. That makes this whole thing really worse.
01:35:16
Speaker
Yeah. Kids, doesn't your mom's tits look so good today? do you like how short her skirt is, children? Wouldn't it be nice if dad had those too? ah Twist, this is Brian Gnome's Reddit account.
01:35:34
Speaker
We were away from home and I didn't have anything nice to wear, so I just wore what I had on, leggings and a tank top. It was cold and rainy, so I grabbed my windbreaker. My husband was like, we'll only be outside for a second. You don't really need that.
01:35:47
Speaker
I responded saying, I'll just wear it anyways because it I was cold and I felt silly walking into a restaurant that wasn't a nice upper middle class part of town in winter weather with just a tank top that I usually wear to bed.
01:36:00
Speaker
this guy has wife sharing written yeah he responded definitely try to get on a wife swap yeah yeah there is something odd like that going on here right he responded are you going to wear the jacket the entire time and i was like no probably not but i don't know it depends on how cold the restaurant is and from there it pretty it pretty quickly escalated into a fight this guy's such a fucking pervert holy cow The fight keeps happening because we just fundamentally see the situation differently and can't seem to figure it out.
01:36:34
Speaker
you don' Stop being so gracious. We don't fundamentally see it differently. Like it's not like two sides of the same coin. Like he has an actual, his perspective is that he's a sick fuck and you shouldn't be with him. This woman has unfortunately been indoctrinated by the like Christian female subservanthood.
01:36:51
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He decides what I wear because he also works and he's the one who buys my clothes. Yeah. You're not a fucking toddler. He's you don't have to wear that romper because it's cute.
01:37:03
Speaker
He usually wins and gets his way because he frames it in a way that I can't really argue with in the moment, which don't know. And he's a lot stronger than me. And sometimes his punches hurt. Like what the fuck is going on here?
01:37:16
Speaker
That sounds like where this is heading. Yeah. It's gotten a little better since I started standing up for up to myself. I think she meant for herself. Yeah, like usually she's just worse at that. She's just in the mirror yelling at herself.
01:37:30
Speaker
yeah I have a lot of imaginary arguments, so I feel that. Yeah, but it's still an issue. It's part of a larger issue in our marriage, but that's a story for another post. Yikes. What does that mean? It feels like that is the story for this post. That other post never came.
01:37:46
Speaker
I'm not against catering to his preferences, but sometimes I feel like his requests are just unreasonable. I'm so tired of it, of having to explain why some outfits are fine for a pub, but not a restaurant where we might see his coworkers. And it just turns off, turns me off and ruins my mood when he does it. But on the other hand, he's such a good husband and father in so many ways. for he He really is. So explain some it. Like, I want to hear some of those. Like, That's crazy. Go into detail about what kind of father this guy is.
01:38:17
Speaker
Yeah, he'd take extra interest in your daughters, maybe. So why can't I just do this for him? Does it really matter? I don't know who to turn to for advice because it seems like people are on one of two extremes. It's abuse to cater to male sexuality in any way or just submit harder.
01:38:36
Speaker
Like, I love that that false binary. Yeah. It's a bit harder. Yeah. This guy's a fucking freak. Yeah, dude. It sounds like he's trying to pimp her out to his coworkers. Hey, babe, we're going to Applebee's. Tony and Mike will be there. why don't you wear that ah tube top? I got you.
01:38:55
Speaker
You know, Tony, I always talk about big dick Tony. In the name of Christ, you will dress like a slut. It seems to me like it's one it's it's one of two things. maybe yeah It's either A, like the coercion is part of what he likes about it. yeah yeah there's definitely some troll There's some weird like kink thing going on here for sure.
01:39:18
Speaker
Yeah, the dominance. Yeah. Yeah. and And it's like he also he's viewing he must view her in that situation is more of an accessory. Yeah. Like a and a partner, you know, like, yeah, go babe, I have enough personality for the both of us. Oh, dude.
01:39:37
Speaker
Sucks because you're not wrong. And then, of course, the comments are full of things like this. ah You know, blah, blah, blah. No man should expect to be a catered to all the time. And frankly, as a guy, I'm a bit worried about a man wanting to show off his wife in skimpy clothes all the time. Doesn't seem entirely healthy or normal to me. Her comfort level and general decency are important as well. There's nothing biblical or Christian about showing off your wife's beauty or having her dress skimpily.
Religious Narratives and Societal Issues
01:40:02
Speaker
I actually think there kind of is at some point. That has to be true in the Old Testament. Yeah. It has to be. Dude, the bagel 264 responds, right? This whole thing seems so odd. Why does he want his wife to dress skimpily? Personally, I'd rather nobody look at my wife.
01:40:19
Speaker
Yeah. There's nothing more dismissive than calling somebody out by their username directly. Yeah. michael Fucker 69. Okay. There's nothing serious about this person. He's just a coercive weirdo in the other direction. Yeah. i It's like...
01:40:39
Speaker
There's there's definitely two extremes on that level. For sure. Yeah. There's people who are a little too excited about like walking their significant other around. And then there's also people who are like, yeah, we're a big we're a big trash bag. Nobody should ever see you as like ah a, you know, a person yeah with sexuality or whatever. There's a every medium somewhere in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's either Andrew Tate or like full nunnery. of Yeah.
01:41:07
Speaker
Right. Like the the right thing to do is really to show off your own big giant boobs. Yeah. with well duh I think the right thing for her to do is to be like, I actually want you to walk around in short shorts in a really tight tank top. I think she needs to flip it on him and be like, I want to feel empowered by you and your looks and just yeah put him in booty shorts and fucking a pair of never nudes. I want you to show off some trunk.
01:41:33
Speaker
You know? Yeah. really want to make it hang below your shorts. I need to see the tip. He's like, babe, you know, that's not possible with my condition.
01:41:43
Speaker
is really acting up There's too much pressure. yeah I was in the pool. i was in the bapt I was in the baptism tank.
01:41:54
Speaker
I really want to make a fake account and like do this type of a post, but about like my husband is really into pup play. Dude. Is it wrong to engage in pup play?
01:42:07
Speaker
you know I do wonder how how Christianity is, ah because I haven't been in church in, God, almost two decades now. No, no, no. Yeah, shit. and yeah But i I do wonder how they're how they're addressing like the the growing rise of like weird kinks in America.
01:42:25
Speaker
Probably largely ignoring them and then occasionally crucifying someone publicly. yeah That's exactly it. I got make the occasional example out of somebody. I can't wait to hear what, you know, Mark Driscoll's take on Brian gnomes tits.
01:42:44
Speaker
He's not going to have it. He's going to be remarkably silent on anything that's inconvenient for him. Yeah, true. lot them are just going to lump it into a general like, this is what degeneracy leads to. Yeah.
01:42:55
Speaker
It's ah just the spiritual decay of this country. We need to return to Christian values, you know? Yeah. before you Oh, man.
01:43:06
Speaker
Did my audio cut out? No, Casey, you're audio cut, man. Oh, whoops. My bad. Okay. I was like, oh there's he's back i was like am I losing my mind? What the fuck? I bumped the ah mute switch. But before we jumped on ah Franklin Graham opened ah with a word of prayer before Trump's speech last night.
01:43:24
Speaker
Oh, God.
Skepticism of Conspiracy Theories and Media Influence
01:43:25
Speaker
And he said something along the lines of... Lord, we know you you show us in the book of Esther that the the Persians, a.k.a. the Iranians, wanted to kill every Jew in one day.
01:43:39
Speaker
And now we see that they want to do the same thing with nuclear fire. But you have raised up President Trump to protect them. LOL, dude. It's just so stupid.
01:43:52
Speaker
ah My phone's somewhere else. But I was like, I was trying to look up because I was like, America's not referenced in the Bible, like not even remotely. but But I wanted to see if I could find some like dumb conservative take where they're like, well, no, in this translation, they talk about an eagle and an eagle is the sign of America. And it's just like ridiculous. That's why Mormons went so hard. yeah Yeah. See, what if you like went to an evangelical thing and you started in on like the significant like God choosing like America as a vessel and and that and the other and then start quoting from the Book of Mormon?
01:44:27
Speaker
Oh my God, dude. We find out in Lehi chapter 24 and it came past. We find out that we're actually not being taken over by Israel. We're being taken over by Utah.
01:44:39
Speaker
yeah I am starting to feel a little weird about the Latter-day Saints crowd. um Why is it that the intelligence agencies like recruit from their ranks?
01:44:51
Speaker
Yeah, i don't know, man. It's all weird. It's freaking me out. There's something that's kind baseline in today. Today's world is just being perpetually freaked out by. It's so it's a weird mix of perpetually freaked out while also not being surprised by anything yeah and being freaked out by how not surprised you are. by anything Yeah, weird. but It's a weird time to be alive.
01:45:15
Speaker
Yeah. And speaking of pup play free Tyler Robinson, dude. Tyler Robinson did nothing wrong. That wasn't his bullet. It's got Cash Patel's greasy fingerprints on it.
01:45:26
Speaker
Oh, God, I forgot that was his name. I love how we've heard nothing about that entire case. It's amazing he hasn't made a statement. yeah we don't have a We don't have the time to get into it, but no real quick, I just want to make a quick point since you brought it up, Casey. The bullet...
01:45:44
Speaker
from charlie kirk's neck the one that didn't do it through and through and definitely wasn't blown up by a lapel mic and certainly wasn't planted evidence even though the bullet had eight people's dna on it i don't know yeah like just magically like if you're gonna frame somebody you would think this plan had a plan that there was some sort of plan and they go We're going to frame Tyler Robinson. And what's going to happen is by the time we get to actual evidence, we're going to be so deep in the war that I ran and so far past the Epstein files that no one's going to give a single fucking shit about this at all. No. And we can just move on. And that is what's happening. 24-hour news cycle, baby. I think what i think what it's showing... Pan Bond is gone. What a lot of this is showing is that like the best cover story is not a... like the The best option for getting through a difficult news cycle is not like a perfectly concocted cover story where you you answer every question and stuff. It's per it's perpetual, deliberate static.
01:46:52
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't think there is a bullet. I mean, if I'm being honest, I don't think there is a bullet. I think his lapel mic blew up, and that that's why the front of his neck blew out. That's why there's no exit wound because something of that. I mean, this is one of those things where, like, I've seen videos pop up on it and i've I've been like – I can't watch this because I can't.
01:47:09
Speaker
like I like my my mind is full of too many things. I can't also go down this rabbit hole, you know, but I remember like right when it happened the week of there's this guy who was like breaking down footage of the people like like to his right and behind him.
01:47:25
Speaker
They, like, said that they had his, like, film on his, like, hand and that he was using, like, ah the same style gun that they the Mossad agents use in Munich, like the pop gun or whatever. yeah, squeeze deal. Yeah, the squeeze gun, yeah.
01:47:38
Speaker
They said you could see, like an like, a gas explosion come from that and the trajectory, like, because the thing that – like, that was an exit wound that came out of the front. Yeah. i like That's the funny thing. is like Even conservatives who know guns were like, that's an exit wound. that's not like Bullets don't enter that way.
01:47:54
Speaker
No. yeah it's it's None of it makes any sense. None of it. No. And that's the point. You're right, Casey. That's the point. Make it make absolutely nothing make sense, so that way we all just fucking... come up with ideas but and you know what free drewski too okay drew yeah dude that shit's hilarious yeah it's like one of those things where like the fact i mean look obviously erica kirk but he didn't say her name he didn't do any that and everyone was like why are you making fun of erica kirk and it's like bro she's making fun of herself like what he didn't say yeah yeah that that one's so good too yeah it's awesome but
01:48:32
Speaker
Tons of good things could get into. we only have, you know, so limited time. but Unfortunately. Spencer, where do people go to find out your where they can see your dates lined
Social Media Handles and Event Promotions
01:48:43
Speaker
out?
01:48:43
Speaker
Yeah, I've got a website. It's called, very apropos for this podcast, but it's www.godsfavoritecomedian.com. Amen. I agree with that. I actually do agree with that. I just i just redid it. i I recoded it all myself. at scott Let me make sure it's still working because I have anxiety over it, but it should be working.
01:49:01
Speaker
But it's got a fun little picture of me. You can sign up for my email list. you can There's direct links to my tickets. There's videos on the bottom. Do whatever you want. Have a ball. These spots were promised to Spencer 3,000 years ago.
01:49:16
Speaker
Amen, they were. And I will be honoring the ah the presidency of Benjamin Netanyahu throughout this entire tour. um yeah Amen. I'm calling it BB Across America. God rest his soul.
01:49:28
Speaker
ah But ah yeah, you can you can go to my website or more importantly, boy, do I need more followers on Instagram. So please follow me at Spencer spicy. That's all that these industry people care about. I know it's sad. I like to think I'm fun on there. you You'll have a good time. I got a, I got a little broadcast channel where i share pictures of my dog.
01:49:48
Speaker
I'm going on tour. I'll put discount ah for tickets in there and, you know, all this other stuff. And I, I literally post content daily cause I have to, um but I, I, you know, you know, kind of enjoy it. If I'm not, you know I don't want to, I don't want to lie to myself. It's fun. It's fun.
01:50:01
Speaker
Under oath. Just reposted one of my videos. So I'm having i'm having a good time. Yeah, yeah dude. Yeah. That's perfect for guys like us. Yeah. Literally. I'm like, I'm good. That's all we really need. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks everybody for listening. Thank you, Spencer, for joining us. Always a pleasure. My bullies.
01:50:20
Speaker
And we will see you next time. Amen.