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What Many People Misunderstand About The Dichotomy Of Control (Episode 142)
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In this episode of Stoic Conversations, Michael Tremblay offers a deep dive into one of Stoicism's most popular concepts: the Dichotomy of Control. Drawing from his 2021 article for the Modern Stoicism blog, Tremblay explores common misunderstandings about this principle and provides a more nuanced interpretation aligned with authentic Stoic philosophy.
Key points covered:
- Misinterpretations arising from the English word "control"
- Two common misunderstandings:Control as absolute ability to decide
Control as strong influence - A more accurate interpretation: what depends on us vs. what doesn't
- Practical applications of this refined understanding
https://modernstoicism.com/what-many-people-misunderstand-about-the-stoic-dichotomy-of-control-by-michael-tremblay/
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome to Stoic Conversations. This is Michael Trombley. Just Michael here this
Introduction to New Episode Format
00:00:07
Speaker
time. Today, we're going to try something a little bit different. and Instead of a conversation with Caleb or one of the other guests we talked to, I'm going to read from an article that I've written called What Many People Misunderstand About the Stoic Dichotomy of Control. So this is an article I wrote back in 2021 for the Modern Stoicism blog. It captures a lot of the key ideas about how I think about that economy of control. I think it summarizes it really clearly and it cuts through some of the main misunderstandings people have about that concept. And I try to explain it in a way that makes it as applicable um and comprehensible as possible. So today, instead of a conversation,
00:00:52
Speaker
I'll be reading from that and providing some commentary at the end and as I go and I thought this would be a fun way to switch things up. So let me know what you think about the episode and otherwise enjoy.
Basics of the Stoic Dichotomy of Control
00:01:09
Speaker
Of all stoic philosophy has to offer, the dichotomy of control, the DOC, is one of the most popular aspects and it's not hard to see why. In its most simple form, the dichotomy of control is often represented in the following way. First, everything is either something we control or don't control. Second, we control our emotions, behavior, and reactions to situations. Third, we don't control anything else, anything besides emotions, behaviors, and reactions. So we don't control other people's behaviors or what they think of us.
00:01:46
Speaker
Finally, if we wish to be happy, better people, we should focus on the things in our control, namely our behavior and our reactions to situations. And what's often implied there is that we should also focus less or maybe even not at all about the things we don't control.
Applicability and Comfort of Control Focus
00:02:04
Speaker
One thing appealing about this representation of the dichotomy of control is its immediate applicability. It's kind of a life hack. You don't need to know anything else about stoicism to find this concept both insightful and useful. Most impressively, it both provides comfort against the difficulties of life as well as motivation to improve. In painful or stressful circumstances, reminding ourselves to focus on what we can control has an immediate calming effect. It gives us permission to turn our attention away from the circumstances or the circumstance causing us pain or frustration. And oftentimes, such a switch in focus does not just alleviate the symptoms, but helps us solve the problem too, or at least realize whether the problem really concerns us or not.
00:02:54
Speaker
Outside of these difficult moments, the dichotomy of control gives us a growth mindset for self-improvement. It's the original call to switch from an outcome to process thinking approach. If we want to be happier and better people, we should keep our focus limited to improving ourselves. It's also a call to be mindful and present in the moment where we have control and not the past or future where we don't. The dichotomy of control tells us not to dwell inappropriately on past failures or be anxious about the possibility of future failure.
00:03:31
Speaker
This way of thinking about the dichotomy of control offers this major benefit without any further explanation of stoic theory or ethics.
Clarifying Misunderstood Dichotomy
00:03:39
Speaker
And for a large number of people, this will be enough and all the want out of stoicism. As a side note here, I expect if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably interested in pushing a bit deeper. ah So many people, they hear that economy of control, and that's that's enough for them. But some people some people want more. um But for many, they they say, oh, that's great. That's a little nugget of wisdom I could put in my tool belt.
00:04:03
Speaker
My main concern about this version of the dichotomy of control and the reason i'm reason I wrote this is that it misrepresents the concept as it appears in stoicism. This ends up being very confusing for those trying to dig deeper into stoicism. Myself included, I also experienced this when I began my study of stoicism. I also couldn't quite wrap my head around the dichotomy of control because I thought about it in the way that I just presented it above.
Epictetus's Original Concept
00:04:32
Speaker
So this article is going to try to explain what I take to be the main misunderstanding concerning the dichotomy of control. And I'll show why the dichotomy of control is a bad name for this concept, which is not about control at all. So part one, what does FM-ing really mean? That's a stoic that's a stoic Greek term.
00:04:54
Speaker
So the dichotomy of control is developed most thoroughly and clearly by the late Stoic Epictetus. His famous handbook, also called the Enchiridion, opens with a clear articulation of it. Epictetus says, some things are within our power. This is F. Emin in the original Greek, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and in a word, whatever is of our own doing. not within our power, our body, our property, reputation, office, and in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.
00:05:33
Speaker
Epictetus then goes on to talk about the consequences of not understanding this distinction.
Dichotomy of Cause or Dependence
00:05:38
Speaker
If we consider that which is not within our power as being up to us, we will suffer all kinds of negative psychological harms and vice versa. If we consider things that are within our power, we forget that they're up to us, you know well we won't maximize our potential either. So far, this sounds pretty similar to the dichotomy of control, as I discussed it earlier. The crucial change is that we don't find the word control anywhere. But why does Robin Hard translate this passage as things within our power and not things within our control? To understand this, we'll have to quickly go over some Greek, which is always my my favorite part. The phrase being translated here is within our power is FMN.
00:06:22
Speaker
There's two words here. Heaven is just a it' just a pronoun. It means us. The other word is epi, the preposition. ah It appears as f because Greek words ending in vowels, they're often elided, which means they're spelling changes before a word beginning with another vowel. In this case, mn actually has ah has an h in front of it, and that h is getting carried over into into the epi. The the point is, it's it is just those two words, even though it sounds different. It doesn't sound like epi, hemin, it's fmn, but it's just that contraction of those two words. The meaning of the preposition epi changes based on the grammatical case of the word it precedes. In this circumstance, hemin is in the dative case.
00:07:06
Speaker
With that out of the way, what does this tell us about what this phrase means? Well, um epi with a dative can mean a number of things, but most relevantly here it means to depend upon or to be in the power of. What Epictetus is literally saying is that some things depend on us or are caused by us, and some things do not or are not caused by us. This is represented in another way to translate the dichotomy of control, which is to say that some things are up to us instead of saying they're in our control. So there's no mention of control here in this translation, and there's no real mention of control in the original Epictetus, and this was on purpose. The Stoics were much more concerned with causes than with the concept of controlling other things.
00:07:52
Speaker
Imagine someone insults me and I get angry. The relevant question for the Stoics is what caused the anger? What does the anger depend on? They would say that the anger depends on me. My beliefs and interpretations of the situation caused the anger. This is shown by the fact that someone else can get called the exact same nasty name and not get angry at all. So since I'm the cause of my anger, it's my job to fix or resolve the anger.
Misunderstandings of Control
00:08:23
Speaker
Does the other person's mean comment depend upon me? Did I cause it? No, it was caused by that person's character and thus they are the person responsible for changing it. They're the person responsible for not becoming the kind of person that calls people nasty mean things. What we're left with then is not a dichotomy of control, but a dichotomy of cause or dependence.
00:08:47
Speaker
I am responsible for and should focus on the things that depend upon me, my beliefs, my decisions, and my character. These are the things that matter. These are the things that determine if I'm a good or bad person and if I live a happy life or an unhappy life. I should not mistakenly think my happiness or value is determined by the things not up to me. And as you can see, control has nothing to do with this idea. It's not about control. It's about dependence and cause. So part two, what is wrong with using the word control? So what's wrong with using the word control?
00:09:28
Speaker
At first, there's a large appeal to it. People want to have control over their lives. They want to be able to determine the kind of person they are. And any philosophy that offers us absolute unalienable control will strongly appeal to this desire, even if it's just control over something as small as our reactions and judgments. However, talking about a dichotomy of control seems to lead to one of two major mis misunderstandings about Stoic philosophy, depending on how control is understood. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the definition is the ability to decide or strongly influence the particular way in which something will happen. So there's two ideas to that contemporary English definition.
00:10:13
Speaker
Control is the ability to decide, determine something, or strongly influence what happens. However, both of these ways of interpreting control lead to misunderstandings of Stoic philosophy. So first, there's control is the ability to decide. First, there are those who take control to mean something very strong. They think that an economy of control means that the Stoics believe we have the ability to to decide. In any given moment, our reactions, our behaviors, and our choices. But the Stoics don't believe that. If I have an addiction, or I'm ignorant about something, or I have a tendency to get very angry at the slightest insult or provocation, the Stoics don't think I can just decide to not be like that.
00:11:01
Speaker
They don't think I have ah control over these ingrained aspects of my character. If we take controlling my actions and behaviors to mean I can just choose immediately to be different. Likewise, I can't immediately change my habits, my subconscious ways of thinking, or my disposition to act in certain ways and responses to trauma or stress. No Stoics argues that I can control or will myself into being a perfect person without years of strenuous work. And that we lack this ability is apparent to anyone who has tried or struggled with self-improvement. I should have add that you know it's apparent to anyone also who is taught, you know whether that's teaching children or teaching um anything I teach, I teach martial arts. You can see that in the student. The student may be willing, but they can't control and change themselves immediately.
00:11:53
Speaker
What the Stoics do believe is that I'm the cause of these poor or undesirable parts of my character. These parts of my character depend on me. And so they are my responsibility to change. This is ah this is a subtle point. I'm responsible for my character. I cannot put that responsibility for who I am onto others or my past circumstances, but I also do not have total control over my behavior. Changing takes work, time, and practice. But the more nuanced Stoic position is only apparent when we drop our focus on controlling ourselves.
Critique of Strong and Weak Control Views
00:12:31
Speaker
Whatever the Stoics think we have this kind of control over, it's certainly less than the number of things that are dependent on us.
00:12:40
Speaker
If we think of the stoic dichotomy of control as a division between things we control in the strong sense and things we we have no control over in the strong sense, we risk two problems. First, it might seem incoherent. The idea that we can totally control our responses or behaviors makes stoicism seem like an idealistic philosophy, oblivious to the complicated problems associated with addictions, habit, or emotional turmoil. And this would be a problem for stoicism if it was what the stoics were committed to. Fortunately, it's not what they were committed to. It's not what they thought.
00:13:15
Speaker
Another problem that comes up if we understand the dichotomy of control and the strong sense of control is that it can make other people feel like failures. It's easy to fall into this thinking, ah thinking of this sort. Stoicism teaches us that we should be able to control our behaviors and responses. I can't seem to do that. Therefore, I'm failing as a stoic or I'm doing something wrong. But once again, often this kind of reasoning arises from a misunderstanding of the dichotomy of control.
00:13:44
Speaker
So in in summary, the point here is that when you have this strong definition of control, it's It's not what the Stoics thought, but not only is it not what the Stoics thought, it can seem ridiculous because in some ways it is. It doesn't graph onto the reality of things. I can't snap my fingers and become an unangry person. But also, it can it can lead to a lot of shaming and a lot of, I would say, unwillingness to engage with our own failures because we feel like we're doing something wrong, like we should be able to just be perfect Stoics in the moment, even if we haven't practiced or even if we need to still work on these things. And that's not what the Stoics thought. The Stoics thought we need to practice and develop ourselves over time. So those are the two things that kind of stronger idea of control get wrong.
00:14:34
Speaker
the The second way of understanding the word control is to make it mean to strongly influence. It's kind of a weaker definition. if If the strong definition is to decide, the weaker definition is to strongly influence. I see this use all the time in athletic contexts. A coach channeling his inner stoic might say something like, you don't control the opponents, the referees, or your teammates. You can only control how well you play. Or when someone thinks, I can only control how I live and the things that I do with my life. They're using that same idea of of strongly influence. This seems to be the idea that we control our actions and what we do out in the world. But this picture of control is much too loose and includes far too many things that the Stoics would say are not up to us. We certainly strongly influence what we do out in the world, but it's not up to us.
00:15:28
Speaker
For example, how well I play a soccer match is not up to me because it's dependent on not getting the flu, or sprinting my ankle, or being hit by a car on the weight of the game. These are external things that can stop me from playing well. The problem with this weaker ah view of control ah is that it lacks some of the most important lessons Epictetus is trying to teach us. Yes, it's probably prudent for all of us to focus on developing things we strongly influence, like our hobbies or our personal relationships, instead of worrying about things we don't influence. But you might still find yourself disappointed and anxious if you start placing too much importance on these pursuits, which aren't up to you in the stoic sense.
00:16:12
Speaker
Not only that, but the Stoics will think you're thoroughly confused if you think what determines a good life are these kinds of things which depend on external circumstance. Now, you might not want to be fully Stoic in your outlook in life. You might want to keep your sphere of focus to a medium size, which includes things you influence like personal relationships or sporting events, but excludes things you don't influence at all. And this is your choice. It's a fine way to think. But you should at least know that this is not the stoic position. So the important point here is that that's often, I think, that weak definition of control that strongly influences the kind of tool belt approach that I talked about at the start, which are people who don't know anything about stoic philosophy. They learn about the dichotomy of big control. And they think, hey, that's a pretty that's a that's useful advice.
00:17:06
Speaker
you know When I'm stressed about a sporting event, I'm stressed about work, about a relationship, I should focus on things that I influence. So not the referee, not the other team, but how well I play. and um the kind of the the The actions I take towards other people in my relationships, you know whether or not I get a promotion at work. But there there might be some helpfulness to that, but it it is not it's not the stoic way of thinking about what's
Defining What is Up to Us
00:17:32
Speaker
up to us. It's too loose. It lets in too many things. And so you will find yourself anxious and frustrated, as I said. But also, if you value these kinds of things, you say, well, these are the things that matter. That's not really a stoic approach at all. A stoic approach is about focusing on who you are fundamentally, what you fundamentally control, your behavior, your character.
00:17:53
Speaker
or what is fundamentally up to you, I should say. And so these these these kind of strongly influenced things aren't included in that. and it's not And it's not a stoic approach to living. Again, totally reasonable way to live. Take as much stoicism as you do or don't want to live well, but it's not the it's not the the authentic stoic position.
00:18:15
Speaker
So part three, what is up to us? So if we can't use the term control, then what is a snappy way to think about the division between what is up to us and what is not? So my favorite way to think about this is in terms of what something external to you can stop. That's the way I like to think about what is up to you. If something is up to you, then nothing external to you can stop it. If something's not up to you, then something external to you can stop it. By external, I mean something that isn't your character, choices or beliefs.
00:18:47
Speaker
You might not have control over your temper yet, but that anger is still up to you because what is stopping you from being calm is your own character, something internal. It's not something external to you stopping you from being calm. Traveling to a foreign country or playing well in a soccer game or being forgiven by another person are things not up to me because these can be prevented by circumstances external to me, external to my character, my beliefs, and my choices. This kind of division might be less immediately appealing than thinking of things we control versus things we do not, but ultimately it's it's a more faithful heuristic, it's a more faithful guideline. ah And thinking about the dichotomy of control in this way should show us that what seems to be inconsistencies, what seem to be inconsistent in Stoic philosophy, a lot of these things that seem to be confusing about Stoic philosophy are actually just misunderstandings.
00:19:42
Speaker
and that that economy of control really makes a lot of sense, really stacks up, and is really something you can lean on if you think of it in this way. Again, if you think of it in terms of i what is up to me and what is not up to me, the things that are up to me are the things that I can stop, the things that only I have the ability to stop.
Beyond Initial Learning: Intellectual Habits
00:20:05
Speaker
And the things that aren't up to me are the things that other people can stop or other things can stop. My anger is up to me because I'm the only one that can make myself not an angry person. um How well I play in a soccer game, that's not up to me. Whether or not a friend decides to forgive me, that's not up to me because I can do everything in my control. Everything that is up to me well and I can still get hit by a car on the way to the soccer game.
00:20:31
Speaker
I can make all the apologies I want and it's still up to that. I can't force somebody else to forgive me. And so that takes us to the end of this article that I wrote. ah really I really, I think it gets the point across well, but I really wanted to, a lot of what we're doing with stoic conversations and what I wanted to do here is take people who have been exposed to philosophy, have know a bit about stoicism, maybe even a lot about stoicism, and push deeper. and So identify these kind of intermediate roadblocks or these kind of, you've been learning about it for a while, it's helpful to you, it's helping your life, but you know yeah something's just not adding up.
00:21:10
Speaker
And so the dichotomy of the control is is the most vulnerable to this because it's something we learn right at the beginning. Before we know anything else about stoicism, usually it's one of the first things you learn and it's one of the first things you start using. It's one of the first things you start putting into practice and seeing the benefits of
Defense of 'Dichotomy of Control' Term
00:21:24
Speaker
stoicism. So in that way, you almost develop a kind of intellectual bad habit, which is a tendency I would say to, and think about this in yourself. Do you think you use the dichotomy of control in the strong sense ever? Oh, I should be able to snap my fingers and not be angry. Or do you use the dichotomy of control in the weak sense, which is, you know do you are you thinking about the stoicism when you're thinking about you know outcomes that are not actually up to you in the real stoic sense? so
00:21:55
Speaker
and so You know, like an athlete, like any other skilled, skilled craft, a guitar player, ah you know, an actor, painter, anything else that you develop. Got to kind of self-examine yourself and say, which way am I making a mistake here? Was I getting this wrong? And how can I start applying that division more accurately? One last thing I'll say before I get to the end of this, this episode, there's been some discussion recently and some pushback about using the phrase dichotomy of control. Should you say dichotomy of control if it's not really about control? It's about, you know, that dichotomy of what is up to us, that dichotomy of what depends on us.
00:22:37
Speaker
I personally have no issue with the dichotomy of control. I think it's punchy. I think it's clear. I think it's easy to understand. um I think it really turns a lot of people on to stoicism, which is a huge benefit. So I don't have any issue. I think that the same way, you know, the same way if you take a first year um science course, they're going to simplify some concepts. They're going to rush over some things. They're going to say some things that aren't true, to be frank, to give you to build a foundation of understanding that you can then become an expert scientist on. Get your degree, go on to grad school, conduct science.
00:23:17
Speaker
The same way that's the case in any other skill, sometimes you're just going to learn things that are a little simplified. You're going to use phrases that are not quite accurate because they're catchy, because they make sense, ah because they simplify something into an idea that gets it maybe 80% right.
Applying Stoic Concepts to Life Decisions
00:23:32
Speaker
And that's how I feel about that economy of control. I'm not the kind of person who's going to be a stickler and say, this is not how we should talk about it. But if you're the kind of person who's really using stoicism in your own life, if you're the kind of person who's listening to this podcast, then you're probably someone who cares about getting this right, cares about really understanding it. And so those are the two pitfalls to avoid, which is to say, don't think of it in terms of control. If you're going to use the English definition of control and you're going to think of it in terms of
00:24:01
Speaker
I have 100% the ability to decide at any moment or no control just means I strongly influence the the way you know Sidney Crosby or Wayne Gretzky controls the result of a hockey game. If you're going to make either of those mistakes, then be careful about using the word control and you can use this idea of what is up to us or what depends on us as you wrap your head around it and start using it more. And so that's what that's what I wanted to talk about today. i think I think that's a helpful idea. And I'll finish with this point, which is to say it's it's only helpful in so much as it is applied. So go out and
00:24:42
Speaker
Think carefully about what is up to you, what is not up to you, and think carefully about what that means for your behavior, which means, well, if this is up to me, I probably should care about it a lot. I probably should fix it, and I probably should focus on it when moments get stressful. And if this is not up to me, then I should probably give it less focus, should probably give it less attention, and I should probably divert our our normal human tendency to focus on everything and focus on outcomes, results. I should probably divert that focus away from that and back to the other side, back to the things that are up to us.
00:25:20
Speaker
And so by understanding what is up to us and what is not, you're better able to make those practical decisions in action. You're better able to tell the difference in the moments that matter.
Listener Feedback and Engagement
00:25:33
Speaker
And if you do that with the correct definitions, with the correct understanding of what is up to us and what is not, I think you'll find it it's actually more helpful of a tool than the original dichotomy of control seems to be at the start. so Great. Thanks everyone for listening. ah If you like more of this format, if you if you enjoy love me waxing on about some of my thoughts on a topic, um then let us know. Either send us an email, let us know on Spotify or wherever you're listening and we'll do some more of these it's because it's ah it's a different format and your your feedback is always appreciated. and Thanks for everyone. Have a great day.