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00:00:01
Check-In
71 Plays5 years ago
K and I do a check-in with how the past couple months has impacted us, what has challenged us, what we have learned, etc. Other topics include a little rant on wants vs. needs, freedom, and stress.
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello. Hello. We're going live.
Technical Challenges of Going Live
00:00:06
Speaker
We've got a bunch of different platforms going on. So we've got Instagram live. We've got Zoom, which no one's in yet, which maybe...
00:00:22
Speaker
We might be, um, this might be an epic failure or it might be really good. We're not really good at planning in advance and giving people a heads up. No, you had said this morning, what about going alive? I think it was a good topic for it. It was a good topic. It's really distracting though.
00:00:42
Speaker
You know what I mean? There's, there's the people on there. There's nobody on there. So it's just us. Yeah. Anyway, so we'll give it a, we'll warm up for a little bit. Cause you know, it's now exactly one 30. Um,
00:01:02
Speaker
So we're going to do, so this will be recorded and then released on the podcast, like channel normal, whatever that is. But then we'll also do the live stuff. Obviously like we're doing a
Checking In on Mental and Physical Health
00:01:18
Speaker
live stuff now. So if you're like joining, if you're on live now, you're like, what are you going to talk about? I guess we're just waiting for a few more people to come in. Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:30
Speaker
Anyway, what are we talking about today? We are doing a little temperature check. Temperature check? What are you checking? Upstairs or downstairs? What kind of thermometer? How everybody's doing and what's going on. I think when this first started, we obviously talked about what was happening and now we're a couple months in and just sort of
00:01:56
Speaker
from a fitness perspective, from opening, from how people are doing mental health-wise, just kind of a little bit of a check-in on what's going on. Yeah. So if you guys have something for us online, just shoot it in the message and we'll monitor it. Because we want to be interactive too, not just us. But I guess we'll start, obviously.
00:02:27
Speaker
So checking in. So what do you, what do you, what do you got? Where are you at? Um, I mean, we were people that initially said we didn't feel so much of the impact cause we don't, we don't exactly have a robust social life. We work from home normally. Um, you know, our kids are older, so it's not like we have to really monitor them and be, um, on top of their,
00:02:54
Speaker
you know, playing with toddlers or whatnot. So it wasn't a huge, it wasn't, it didn't feel like this massive change for us personally. But I think now I'm starting to feel kind of the like, when might we get back to like, if we want to go somewhere, if we want to go to a coffee shop and
00:03:22
Speaker
have some space, do a little reading. Like that, I guess it's more the isolation, not so much the like being able to go places, but yeah, I guess the isolation, everybody being in their own little pods. It's, um, that's starting to now like concern me. Like what's, how are we going to get out of this? So I think that from a, you know, that's how, that's kind of how things have progressed for me a little bit.
00:03:48
Speaker
So is it the lack, is it the monotony of? It's not the monotony. It's more just feeling like the disconnect. Like now I feel it. And I don't think initially I feel it. You feel disconnected to social pulse and others and human connection. What about yourself? Do you feel that kind of trickling down into disconnection with yourself?
00:04:16
Speaker
Um, no, but I definitely have had now like, with fitness, sort of a, a wave, what's interesting is we kind of you
00:04:30
Speaker
I guess the positive is sort of learning the same lesson again, irrelevant of the situation being differently, kind of reinforces like, okay, this, I was right to begin with, meaning I had, you know, not been so heavy on the conditioning, classic CrossFit stuff for a while, I had changed it up, I was making some progress with what I needed to like connect to my body training. And then when
Balancing Physical Workouts and Emotional Well-being
00:04:55
Speaker
this all hit, I sort of abandoned that and went right full blown to just
00:04:59
Speaker
day after day after day, working out, not resting, just doing this thing. When was your first rest day? When this thing started? Yeah, I mean, it was probably like 10 on, one off, 10 on, one off, something like that, which is insane. Which, well, yeah. I mean, it was like, oh, but it's just a little something every day. I need to move. But that's what the thing, it didn't seem insane. Cause it's not like it was like here and there for four hours a day. It wasn't, it was the death by a thousand cuts. Right. And, um,
00:05:28
Speaker
So I think what I'm feeling now is like the same thing I felt last year, irrelevant of coronavirus, irrelevant of being in lockdown. Just the notion of conditioning workouts like that, we know there's some pitfalls to them. And so I guess more than anything, I'm feeling that impact physically and emotionally.
00:05:57
Speaker
what we know about those kinds of workouts is it can kind of break that, that balance of like the arch we talk about and you start to really like question yourself. It's not, there needs to be that other side of like truly connecting to your muscles and not just putting yourself in a hole, kind of punishing yourself, running out of breath, doing cardio essentially every day. So I've sort of made a decision to sort of get back to
00:06:26
Speaker
make a little course correction because I know that the physical piece is definitely connected to my mental and emotional state. So, um, what about the social? That's certainly connected as well. Yeah. But I mean, I can't, from a working out standpoint, I never really worked out with other people. Yeah, I wasn't going down that road. But for social, I mean,
00:06:50
Speaker
Yeah. I think about people that are really social people and that must be really tough. Yeah. So that's kind of where I'm at. Yeah. Um, where am I at? I,
00:07:18
Speaker
I like everybody else is impacted by it. Um, I have found myself, I've, I've found myself to be, to be honest with you, trying to, um,
00:07:40
Speaker
trying to relax a little bit more. And I think I'm a generally, I don't know, I don't know if I'm super intense or chill or whatever, but I think I like oscillate between being really chill and then being like really intense. And so I've found myself trying to kind of just realize that the pressure is self-induced with some things, but also understand and accept that there is a global stress stimulus.
00:08:11
Speaker
And so when there's like, I don't get to control the stimulus being applied to me, being at the, you know, being the object of the action that is happening, whether or not you like it or not. But what do you feel in particular with that stress? Like what's impacting on the day to day, that global stress? Cause you didn't really leave the house so much during before COVID.
Coping with Pandemic-Induced Pressures
00:08:40
Speaker
Well,
00:08:41
Speaker
I left the house to get the mail and stuff. I'm serious. Like what, what do you feel like? I feel that stress in what, what sense? Just like the fact that the, like someone wrote about like our freedom, like, like people's other people's sense of like the news and what's happening and people's the controversy and like some of that are.
00:09:02
Speaker
No, not so much that. I see that. I recognize that. This isn't something I'm necessarily proud of, but I'm pretty apathetic to that, where people are going to get fired up and this and that. I recognize that this is the most hardship that some people have experienced.
00:09:21
Speaker
that can be relative to someone else, that can be nothing, or that can be a lot. And there's people who are all over the map with that. So- There's people with different experiences. Without a doubt. And I think that- People lost people. Yeah, without a doubt. And it's just like, so other people, how other people are responding to the stress is something that I know I'm empathetic with, and I know that like, look, man, everyone's gonna
00:09:46
Speaker
respond to this thing differently. So that doesn't really get me down, um, or, or anything. Cause it's just, everyone's unique and everyone's got their own deal. Um, it's more so like, I feel this pressure to, um, want to try to deliver either more value for people during this time. So through between the years or through the business, but then personally also this pressure to, um,
00:10:14
Speaker
keep going and doing a lot, you know, like, and be building things. And, you know, I don't know, I guess some of it's like this pressure to be efficient, to do, you know, to accomplish tasks. And I still believe that that's important to be productive.
00:10:35
Speaker
but not looking at the volume element, but really looking at the qualitative element. And so at the personal level with me, it's some of that is, you know, using this as a time to reconnect with maybe some of the physical stuff that, you know, frankly, and I've talked that we've talked about on here, like, I work out, I work out hard, I train, I think I work out smart, but like, there's no for something in my training.
00:11:03
Speaker
And so that's just been, eh, okay, you know? And sometimes it seems like work. So sometimes me, the pressure that I put on myself is to also create the workouts and do all that stuff so that I can learn and share and have others experience it. And so that's been sort of, I don't know if that answers anything. Was that clear?
00:11:29
Speaker
So, you know, it's tough to kind of pinpoint exactly, I think what it is. And that's part of, I think maybe what we can talk about is when you don't know exactly what the problem is, what is your triage is there's the everyday things that everybody experiences in life. And then there's the overlay of the current situation. So trying to figure out like, Oh, this might just be like,
00:11:53
Speaker
a year ago, I might've been feeling happy. You have a bad day or you have a day where you were like, I need some space or whatever that is, that's normal. And then it's like not trying to make everything be about this current situation, but it certainly highlights some things. So, um, and I, and I do think it's tough, you know, for anybody in
00:12:15
Speaker
I guess I don't want to use this term like leadership role, but who is in charge of other people or managing other people. Um, I was on a call with some yoga, mostly yoga studio owners last week. Um, you know, just that fatigue of it is a tough time to have to sort of rally yourself to, to be the lighthouse, so to speak. And while you're still dealing with your own things. So.
00:12:44
Speaker
For me, I found like for the first month, I probably just, I thought I was not, I didn't think I was doing this, but I think I just shut a lot of things off, um, to kind of do the job and keep everybody going and, you know, do the work that needed to be done and whatever. Um, so I think sometimes you just don't realize it until like now I'm starting to see that.
00:13:08
Speaker
Now there's like enough time and understanding like, okay, that's probably what happened. And here are the impacts in different ways. So, and now just as we're there, there's like a new set of things like now we're going to worry about or people are talking about or that external stress of like, what about reopening? Are you reopening? When are you reopening? So-and-so reopening. And what about this
Leadership Fatigue and Managing Stress
00:13:30
Speaker
and what about that? And all these like calculations that really,
00:13:33
Speaker
I think being prepared is of course important, but until you know anything, you're just sitting there wasting energy, stressing about imaginary scenarios. But there's kind of always that, you know, just as we sort of are settling into this, now it's like the next thing. Yeah. And I think that that's an important thing too with folks where
00:13:56
Speaker
There's so much external The overwhelming majority of the external influences upon you are outside of your control so if you allow the the Significant things that you cannot control to control you
00:14:14
Speaker
You're that's like a losing proposition. So Yeah, we want to open of course. We want to have that but like we don't know the governor can say Five people class the governor can say hey car blanche, whatever you want to do outside outside So it's just like but we can't control that. So if we look at okay, well, what is
00:14:34
Speaker
we want to open, what is the essence of opening entail? What is like the internal things that we can then say, okay, we can still have face to face quality coaching in person, but given this external that we cannot control, okay, it's going to be limited to this or that. And it's just like, but versus being like, well, there's seven people we need the bar and like all of this crazy thing.
00:15:02
Speaker
And then I think there's certainly, you know, someone wrote on here about people's freedoms being taken away. I think that some of that is not so much
00:15:16
Speaker
Like if you'd asked somebody four months ago, or three months ago, or whatever, I don't know that they'd be as sensitive to it. But as we talked about, well, in the beginning, just like, you know, on this podcast, probably relative to something else, but like,
00:15:33
Speaker
people starting to like kind of lose it. So not knowing the signs of like, I'm kind of starting to lose it. I'm feeling the pressure, these external things, okay, I don't, not having that self-regulation. I mean, the guy being shot, the security guard,
00:15:48
Speaker
because he made someone wear a mask. That is not normal behavior. And so I think that that, you know, from a, I don't know that people, it's so much about the freedoms being taken away. It's like now I'm feeling the pressure and what can I lash out at? And it's my freedom is being taken away. But is it, is it really that, you know, or is that not escalated because it's the only thing you can,
00:16:12
Speaker
I feel really, I'm not sure if I should just dive in and let go on the old freedoms thing and help people have fucking pissed them away their entire life. And now you're going to play the freedom card when you haven't done fuck all to defend it or to appreciate it. Like, and I'm not saying you have to be in the army or the military or nothing like that, but like.
00:16:37
Speaker
Well, we've taken it for granted. You've taken it for granted. And now there's people who, again, don't have the luxury of bitching about their freedoms.
00:16:53
Speaker
Because they're too engaged in the work, the nurses, the doctors, all the people. Like, freedom. Yeah, you know what they want to do? They want to have the freedom to go to work and not be like, is today the day I'm going to get it? Now, regardless of what you live with their family again, they want to be able to go to work and say, I can do my job. You know, like the nurses, there are just there are just.
00:17:16
Speaker
Such sad stories coming out where they're like, yeah, you know and again saying this and I will continue to say it I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a trauma doctor. I've had my own experiences and I know I think enough to help
00:17:31
Speaker
people that are wrapping bodies, multiple bodies a day when they maybe never done it or you know, they're new to it or whatever. Or even just the volume though. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Like we need to be as a society, compassionate and nurturing because they are going through traumatic experiences. Even if as a nurse, you sign up and you say, I understand I will have to wrap a body. Got it.
00:17:57
Speaker
Here's a question though. So this is really interesting because just like the military in the height of you know, wartime or when people are are all I'm going to say is when people in Vietnam came back or some of our current soldiers are coming back
00:18:18
Speaker
nobody's remembering that.
Support for Health Workers Post-Pandemic
00:18:20
Speaker
So as soon as this is over, are we really going to take care of what these people or is it going to be, you know, I mean, and that's where it's frustrating is it's like, you know, it's easy to put it, and I'm not, you know, faulting people. I think it's great to put a sign up to support people, support the healthcare workers. Yeah. But it's, it's like, to your point too, it's easy to put a bumper sticker, like support the troops. Um, and then to,
00:18:46
Speaker
like, forget about it or complain about your freedoms, like, how dare you do that? I guess, yeah, and some of the stuff with the freedoms, and it might sound principle, it probably is, and I feel like I've earned the right to be able to say, yes, I've actually stepped up, but I've also seen how fucking good we have it. And you staying at home, or you being told you have to wear a mask, that is not someone shitting on the Constitution. Right. So like, I just have,
00:19:16
Speaker
For me, that's where when I do see this stuff, which is why I tried, which is why I don't try to read the just sensationalized news and stuff, but it's like, maybe you should just keep your goddamn opinion to yourself because you're an idiot.
00:19:33
Speaker
And I get it. Everyone's got a voice. Everybody's got a right to their opinion. Yeah, I do. I understand that. You going and protesting and preventing people who are good people from doing a job that frankly, we all need to be done, but very few are doing like that's what drives me. That's what absolutely boils my blood. And then it's because of what the Constitution what you couldn't
00:19:54
Speaker
You don't know anything about it. You've just heard somebody saying something and yeah, right on and it's the other way too, you know, and so the freedom thing
00:20:08
Speaker
I do also recognize that when you have the, there's freedom, and then there's like the ability to go about and have freedom of maneuver. Right, like you can feel constrained. For sure. Like, oh man, I would love to go, oh Norway, and then oh that's right, we can't go. Yeah, being restricted is. So you are allowed to feel disappointed about that. Of course, of course. And I'm not, and I know who wrote that in, wasn't saying like, your personal freedoms, your constitution.
00:20:35
Speaker
the restriction of not being able to like, you know, go get a cup of coffee or do whatever, go see your family. I mean, and so yeah, for sure, that's definitely one. And again, I think that, okay, that might be, yeah, that sucks. We have to check in with that. And for some states it's going to be longer, for others maybe not so much.
00:20:55
Speaker
but what do we extract from it? What is the positive?
Frustrations and Complaints During Reopening
00:21:00
Speaker
Because if all we do is sit around and say how shitty this is, then it's gonna be a waste. So it's like, yeah, when this thing does open back up, you better remember and honor it. Or it might be like, yeah, you can't connect with another human being right now. Maybe you write them a letter. Or, you know. But don't you think people, and I don't wanna be super negative,
00:21:23
Speaker
But like, this is kind of how it always is people, it's much easier to complain than to do something productive. And, and that's like, I don't want to say that's human nature, because that sounds so sad. And I think people, they're
00:21:38
Speaker
people that are doing a lot of great things. But it's sort of like the glass half empty and you know, if we could only have this, you get that and it's like, oh man, like if we just had that or, and you know, there's a cup I've seen. And again, I feel like it's ignorant to say like, I'm not looking at every news thing. It's just so frustrating right now looking at, and I've said to you every day I look at the news, I think like, I don't even,
00:22:02
Speaker
I did not gain any valuable information here. It just was sensationalized fear based. So it's just frustrating. But one of the things on the New Jersey, you know, going to new Jersey.com or some of the local Facebook pages, there's a business owners kind of protesting about opening. What do you mean? Like we should have the right to open. Like let's just say a hair salon and you know, people are applauding them like, yeah, good, good for you. But it's kind of like,
00:22:34
Speaker
I get it. Like we're all suffering, but it's that sort of, I feel like it's a bit selfish because it's like, okay, well, if you should open, you need money for your family. Why can't we open? What is the difference? Like it's sort of that, like when we first started this and the kids were hanging out on the football field, like what is the point of this? If we're going to now start making all these exceptions and
00:23:01
Speaker
And there's people applauding that, and it's like, okay, yeah, I applaud you for, I guess, taking a stand, but how are you special in this? Do you know what I mean? It's just frustrating, because it's all the exceptions. Well, we should be able to open, because we're doing this, and they're opening, and this particular thing was like, well, the pet salon's open, so why can't we open?
00:23:25
Speaker
And it's just like, well, by that nature, then let's just all, it's either all or nothing, you know? Um, and I dunno, that's just, it's just a frustration that like, I guess some of it like appearing to be like, I'm taking a stand for all of us. And it's like, no, you're not. You're, you want your business to open and I get it, but don't make it sound like you're trying to fight this honorable battle for other businesses. It's so that you can.
00:23:53
Speaker
the exception and go back to work. And like, you know, I mean, sure, there's, would somebody tell on us if we started telling our members, Hey, like we're going to offer one-on-one personal training. We're not just don't tell anybody. Like we could probably get away with it. Is that the right thing to do? And you know, it's like, well, no one will know. It's like, well, I'll know. Like that's what matters. And you know, I just feel like people are reaching that point now where it's like finding the loopholes and finding the exceptions and
00:24:24
Speaker
And then it's like, man, what the heck was the point of two months of this? If that's what we're going to do now. Yeah, I don't
Understanding Wants vs Needs During the Pandemic
00:24:32
Speaker
know. I mean, it's a tough, um, it's a tough thing. And I think everyone's individual experience is certainly going to be the most influential for how strongly they feel about, about it. Um, you know, if you're, if your business is going to go under and you don't have any
00:24:54
Speaker
insight as to when you can open. Yeah, I can, I can get that. You know, I think, I think it's, um, I think there are those cases for sure. And I think there's a lot of cases where there's the principle of it and there's the, you know, kind of the bickering. Um, I think it's an interesting thing though, really to look at now more than ever, really examining wants versus needs. Yeah.
00:25:23
Speaker
and how, when I think about wants versus needs, the wants are generally external, and the needs are internal. I want... A cookie. A cookie. I do want a cookie. Yeah, I've been wanting cookies for a while now, but... Really? Why haven't you made them? Because you tell me when I make things, I'm trying to kill you. Oh, really?
00:25:47
Speaker
Anyway, like when we think about just, you know, and maybe just go intuitively with it. Like when you want something, it's usually like, you know, an externally derived thing versus what you need. Right. You don't need a cookie.
00:26:01
Speaker
You don't need a cookie. What do you need? You need love and attention and to be shocked. It's okay. Yeah. Um, no, but really like, but right now looking at that where a lot of people wants to do things, Hey, um, you know, a lot of people are saying like, Hey, I want to do this. I want to do that. And I, and I agree. And I want to do things as well, but I think what's.
00:26:23
Speaker
The opportunity is to be mindful of your language, pay attention to what you're saying. That's the root of mindset and then examine it and be like, okay, what? And you can have a want. Like, for example, there was a, like everybody's going to have a want, but run that through. What does that want really provide you that you feel like you need? And it's so like in this example of businesses opening, I want to reopen our business.
00:26:51
Speaker
to have things just go back to normal, to be able to serve people better, to like kind of be on the road to like getting back on. Yeah. Because. Because it's scary to wonder if people are going to stay doing zoom. And, and I feel like that's what we do is in-person training and I'm better at my job that way. And that's our business model. And we need to continue to make money and serve people, but, but currently it's illegal and it might not be best for the greater good.
00:27:22
Speaker
So where does that leave you with what you need? Right. So I need to still listen to the governing laws and do what is. You need to not risk the right that, but it sounds like you also need the reassurance that the business can. But is that a need? I want that. I want reassurance.
00:27:49
Speaker
I would say reassurances. You want, you want internal reassurance. You want comfort. You want.
00:27:58
Speaker
safety, that it's gonna be okay, that the business isn't gonna just dissolve, that, and- But it's so, I guess I'm confused, so like, it's, what, want versus need, like, it's not wrong to have wants. No, of course not, I'm not saying, I'm not saying be, you know, abstain from having wants, I'm just saying, look at the things, the wants are so easy to drive towards. It's a very simple thing, hey, I want this, okay, cool.
00:28:26
Speaker
What is it represent something that you actually really need? You know, the cookie, like you don't need a cookie. And I know that's a stupid example, but like in the gym, like you really want to reopen. Okay. Yeah. That's, that's obviously the thing. And then you start peeling it back and be like, okay, let me trace this back to what I need. What do I need? What do I need? What do I need? And what you need is going to be.
00:28:48
Speaker
reassurance, comfort, safety, that whole thing. And I think it's an interesting time for that and checking in with it. What did we want and what did we need, you know, eight weeks ago? What do we want? What do we need now? Like, that's the whole point of this, like use this time. It's been a couple of months. Check back in and look at it versus the internal versus the external, certainly with control and not control. Cliff.
00:29:17
Speaker
Cliff's our only Zoom person. And then we have people on Facebook or Instagram live. What's up. You look so dressed up. Nice. The truth. I don't think I've put a pair of jeans on maybe once.
00:29:46
Speaker
I did we had like a gallery opening we had like people do creative projects at the gym and then we had like a gallery opening and I was like so like last minute so I like showed up in my same sweatshirt and one of our members had like his turtleneck on and I'm like hold on I have to
00:30:03
Speaker
I have to like do something. So I like ran upstairs. He's on the phone. He's like, What are you doing? I like put on a black turtleneck, put on red lipstick, took my hair down, I came back to the computer. And they're like, What the hell just happened? I'm like, I, I had to like, at least try and get out of the sweatpants. But so we're just talking about current
00:30:24
Speaker
The
Rethinking Movement and Health
00:30:25
Speaker
pulse. The current state. We're just checking in, really. Checking in. And looking at this as a time, you don't know what you're going to be presented with, obviously, until you're in it. And so we just wrapped up a little bit of a bit on the difference between maybe wants or needs, how what you want can be. You can learn from what your wants are, what you really need, if you're willing to kind of unpeel those layers.
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so what else do we have? We've got, um, yeah, I think the nutrition. Yeah. We were going to talk about like sort of nutrition and where people are at and, um,
00:31:27
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I don't know, it's a we keep going back to this bigger topic of people focusing on their health. But there is a little bit of I think, and obviously, that's my personal experience. But there is sort of, I think when this first started, everybody was in the mindset of like, you just need to move every day, just move, just do a little movement. But at least in our space of the CrossFit gym, it's sort of feels like it's turned into like,
00:31:55
Speaker
Just the same thing every day. Just move, move, move, move. The problem though is that because, and this is where I'm like, I'm going to beat up using of language and not defining terms, which is where again, all of the mindset and all of that, it's like moving every day that can be walking. Right. Like, but moving, we put these rule and back to the last week, we put these rules like, no movement is. You have to get your heart rate up. You have to have workout clothes on. Right.
00:32:21
Speaker
Oh, yeah, right. You have to have workout clothes on. It's impossible to move if you don't have workout clothes on, you know, and then it's OK. There has to be some semblance of a workout and it's got to be this and oh, I'm just going to go, but I'm going to go easy. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no. If movement every day is good, which, yeah, it is for sure not being sedentary.
00:32:46
Speaker
But movement and working out are not the same thing. So doing something to move, and we have a program at the gym, obviously, that's something to move in. It's a scaled-out version, and it's within the context of a physical fitness program, absent of a fucking global pandemic, where your stress is...
00:33:08
Speaker
baseline stress is super high. Your allostatic load is through the goddamn roof. Oh, yeah. Well, let's talk about that. Right. So and so we can talk about that. But like, right? So people are dialing up versus dialing down. And this is theoretically, they should probably dial down, or at least
00:33:26
Speaker
Have more like you need to raise the awareness and look at the life and and see what can you raise up? Can you dial down? I think and that's the thing with the like they're not being the blanket answer but Context is so important if I were to say to you You're outside
00:33:45
Speaker
Beautiful day, like today. And you see somebody who's never seen before pull out a gun. First, what's your first instinct? Right. To run. Right. Shit. What if you were at a gun range?
00:33:59
Speaker
No problem. Immediately like, oh, no big deal. And you don't even have to think about that. So context matters. What is the context that we are in? Are we in a park or are we at a gun range? And for the allostatic load, which is stress over time and basically the fancy word for wear and tear on your body and your mind and your emotions,
00:34:23
Speaker
We need to look at the context. And yeah, the context is like there are things that you try to go to the news to try to get a little bit of info because you're like, all right, let me stay up to date. And you get blasted with things from all over. Then you get frustrated that you can't get any information. So then you feel like, OK, that's going to elevate the threat level.
00:34:42
Speaker
Now you can't see other people, interact with other people who provide you reassurance, care, nurturing stuff. Okay, now you're feeling a little bit isolated and a little bit abandoned. That's going to elevate the threat level. Then there's going to be possibly
00:34:57
Speaker
Drinking more eating, you know diet going down a bit more you're gonna inflame yourself That's gonna be not only not sleeping as much. Maybe not sleeping as much. You're looking at a screen more you've binged on Netflix Okay, that's gonna increase your stress level and so right. So now your stress level is Generally speaking besides even talking about movement higher that load is higher than normal. Yes, I
00:35:23
Speaker
And now we're going to say, let's add stress to it with an intense workout. Right. Because an intense workout exercise movement is good for us, but not just, and we've been saying this for a long time, but now to your point, like we're in the gun rain, we're in the park and not the gun range anymore. So, um, yeah, I just sometimes feel like.
00:35:47
Speaker
If I'm speaking from my own experience, there is such a strong addiction. That's like people know that probably drinking right now isn't good for them. And I'm not saying that everybody's addicted to alcohol. Like that's not what I'm saying. But I would venture to say people probably maintained or up-ticked their alcohol during this time. Same thing with exercise. I get it. Like because there's an addiction element to that feeling. And then people might say like, well, you get that dopamine rush, you get that high, but
00:36:17
Speaker
It's not that simple. Like, okay, because you get high from heroin though. Right. I mean, I mean, honestly, like the, the, that good feeling. Yeah, I get it. It feels great. Right on. That doesn't the good feeling doesn't necessarily equate to you should do this right now, or there's, you know, medical utility. So it's like, I get it. And I understand. And, and I think that there's also having that grace with people where it's like,
00:36:44
Speaker
Yeah the gym is a little bit of a desert island for some folks where you know it's a little bit of relief and it's an escape and and of course and working out and movement of of course but there's also that
00:36:58
Speaker
If you continue to tap that well, it will run dry. If you continue to put the gas down, like you're going to crash. And so looking at the other 23 hours of the day, I mean, that's the big thing. It's like you can only go to the gym or you can only use workout or movement in like maybe a more formal capacity exercise.
00:37:23
Speaker
so much because it gets to a point where it covers and it masks other components of your life that you do need to fix. And look, I get it. Super tough to do that. And you're like, man, but but why? I could get a little bit of a hit and not deal with that little thorn in the side. I just don't want to feel it anymore. It's like, well, that's a slippery slope to a dark place. The problem is that there is a end to it. And speaking from what I was talking about when we started, like my own experience, like
00:37:53
Speaker
it was feeling fine when it was feeling fine and then all of a sudden it's like the wave and it all catches up and it's like shit that's right that's not you know in the long run which could be a month it could be two months it could be a week for some people but like you know running that running that dry as you say it's it's it will happen and so you don't want to get injured or or just mentally fatigue and I think there's a lot of lack of
00:38:20
Speaker
that connection with people, understanding that it's not compartmentalized. There aren't these like segments, like, well, that physical movement is this thing. And then there's like a separate part of my body that does the thinking. And then there's like the separate part of my body that, because it's not that way. I mean, fortunately and unfortunately. Fortunately, it's not that way. Cause could you imagine if you had to think your heart beating? Like, oh shit, I forgot to think about it. Like, you know, the body and the mind is obviously connected and
00:38:47
Speaker
So yeah, just, I think for some people just stopping to say like, yeah, man, maybe I am feeling like the workouts, like it's not doing the same for me, much like a drug, like, hmm, it used to do this for me. I used to feel like that now I need more, or it's not really getting me high anymore. And on the contrary, I'm starting to feel, um, especially with like that, the conditioning stuff, the trap of that is, you know,
00:39:12
Speaker
as we've talked about, like questioning your sense of self, kind of that doubt, maybe feeling bad about yourself. And then you're doing more workouts to kind of feel better about yourself. And it's just this sort of like spiral. So just pausing to say like, Hmm, maybe I, I mean, I'm in the middle of a week off, which that doesn't happen frequently for me. And it's challenging. I feel like we actually had a podcast. Yeah, there was probably over the winter. I took a week. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but you know, it's,
00:39:43
Speaker
It's necessary. And now, ironically, because I put myself in the hole, whereas maybe I just needed to, I could have done two days off. Now I have to take a whole week off. Like it doesn't end up making any sense. Yeah. I think, I think there's reassurance that people want.
Acknowledging Emotional Impact of the Pandemic
00:40:01
Speaker
Like people want reassurances and I, everyone, like that's a human nature kind of thing.
00:40:08
Speaker
And I also think that there's, um, for right or wrong, I'm just making an observation that there's a little bit of a taboo and like a vulnerability that's not being embraced by saying, um, or by resisting acknowledging the fact that this thing is impacting you.
00:40:35
Speaker
Like, you want to be strong, you want to be like, no, I'm good. You want to say, no, man, all good. Like, hey, like, look at us. We're healthy. Yeah. Kids are healthy. You don't want to be complaining when there are people that are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it comes from a good place. I'm not saying it's like this ego trip. I'm like, that's frankly, that's low hanging fruit. That's easy to say. And that's not what I feel is accurate. But I feel like there is this pressure to be like, well, I mean,
00:41:01
Speaker
It's a beautiful day. We do have, you know, our business is not completely gone. The kids are healthy. We have the, like, what the fuck do I have to complain about? And it's like, it's, you're not complaining. You're admitting you're human. And so when we look at, or when I think about,
00:41:21
Speaker
What is your normal baseline stress? Just four months, five, six months ago, what would that have been? And by stress, it's not this...
00:41:32
Speaker
It's not this negative thing. It's a it is a pressure and an influence on your your being and on your life. And there's good stress. There's no good or bad stress. There's stress. There's adaptation. And so if we were just thinking, OK, what are the things contributing to what has an influence on my life day to day? And we'll just call that baseline stress, baseline influences.
00:42:02
Speaker
Let's just say you were at a three. You're like, eh, you know, pretty low key, like not that big of a deal. Well, you could change absolutely nothing somehow in this. Maybe you were one of the rare people that literally nothing has changed.
00:42:17
Speaker
But your baseline stress and the influence has gone up to about a five or a six because of the fact of the unprecedented element that we're in. And then you take that and then you expand it over time. When was the last time people were in a position where they could not physically contact people that they care about?
00:42:44
Speaker
And it was day one of this thing, and we were talking about it, and I was saying how people are unprepared for that experience. And in some cases, good. I'm glad that they've never had to be months, years without seeing people, and normally that they would want to be with. But if we just stop for a second and just say, okay, my baseline stress
00:43:07
Speaker
is elevated and that's okay. You didn't do anything to elevate it. You just are living. Right. Everyone's is elevated. And so with that, how would, how does that change how you go about things? How does that change how you view yourself if you're having one of those days where it's just like, I don't know what is wrong. I feel like something is wrong, but you deny the internal feeling and convince yourself that you're a bad person because you're feeling wrong when really you shouldn't because X, Y, and Z. And it's like, this is,
00:43:37
Speaker
This is trying to rationalize your feeling them. Yeah, and then you're and then it's like I just don't I don't I just don't I feel like I don't know myself Well, right cuz you negated yourself and you didn't be like yes. I am it's a beautiful day We are healthy work that pop up up up up, but I'm still feeling but you're still feeling this Yeah, cuz you're a human being you have that fatigue and you have there that that baseline level of stress has been elevated across the board and
00:44:01
Speaker
And then we can talk about, okay, then what do we do about it? You know, and for each person, it's going to be an individual thing. Yeah. Yeah. I recently signed up for some coaching for physical stuff and I questioned like, should I be doing this at this time?
Seeking Help and Growth in Expertise
00:44:21
Speaker
And your response was like, yeah, like, like we,
00:44:26
Speaker
Obviously like that's what we've been talking about is like this is the time yeah 100% you and to be able to serve other people you kept telling me I was like you just do it like I don't yeah, you know do it do it do it and Yeah, like seeing those signs and saying like okay. I do need some support in this and it's sure it's it's for my workouts, but knowing that like I
00:44:47
Speaker
I can really put myself in a hole with that because that is an area for me that like, it's a double-edged sword. It's okay. It's a positive, but it's also something I can, you know, I don't want to say punish myself with, but it can really not be good for me. So having some guidance, having some coaching, that's not my husband. Right. That's huge. We need that. We need to get that back. That's a good thing. Here's what I will say about that. And I feel strongly about this.
00:45:14
Speaker
It is okay to ask for help in things you're really good at.
00:45:20
Speaker
is fucking okay to be really good at something and say, hey, I need some help. And could you imagine if people who were good at things never asked for help? Could you imagine if people who were really good at things asked others for help how much better they could be and how much others could help involve and learn and provide something and be like, and that's I think something where it's okay to feel down when on the surface
00:45:47
Speaker
there's nothing really to feel down about like, that's okay. I don't know. I mean, take it for what it is, but yeah, it's okay. And I think, you know, and I'm certainly, you know, I'm not exactly, I'm a tough love kind of person and there's that. And yeah, I can probably soften up a bit, but I feel like right now it's like,
00:46:12
Speaker
It's okay. And if anything, it might be like, that might actually for some people be a bit of tough love, where to not resist and feed into the, no, you're right, I should this and I should that commiserate. And it's like, it's okay. And that's not an invitation to just roll over and die. Of course not, but yeah. Yeah, well, what else?
00:46:43
Speaker
What do we got? Checking in wise. Yeah, I think that it would be interesting to look at what are the things you really miss the
Finding Joy and Creating New Experiences
00:46:55
Speaker
most. I think a lot of people miss things and for sure and have some fun coming up with what you're gonna do when it does become available. And that's been something that we've had
00:47:09
Speaker
lot of experience with where You know, yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna see you next but I'm thinking I'm Connecting to you in a way that is yeah, whatever I do see her next like it's gonna be awesome I'm gonna enjoy and honor that shit and keep that stuff alive and I think that if there are things that you really miss like Cherish it and frankly, hopefully they do come back and that's
00:47:36
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's good. I think there are things like for me, I've had to like, I think a lot of what you're saying about being kind of strong and like saying like, No, it doesn't affect me. I had to sort of re shift a little this week and say like, Okay, it is impacting me just doing laps around the block. I enjoy taking the dogs to a park somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like, okay, well, I can do that again. I can do that. Like now there's a park open or even if there isn't
00:48:03
Speaker
drive to another neighborhood. I mean, I know it sounds ridiculous, but like, but why would it sound ridiculous? Well, it sounds like, well, that would be silly. Why would you drive to some other random neighborhood? It's a street, but it's like, but it's not, it's the environment and it's different houses and seeing new things. That's the thing to write yourself off to say that's silly. Yeah. But like here, it's like,
00:48:25
Speaker
In three steps, it's that sign with the faded thing. And then in four steps, it's that bush that Charlie P's on. And in five steps, it's the tanning salon that broke down. And then it's like, like you kind of know every single thing and, and that prediction is like, that's kind of exhausting versus seeing new things. So.
00:48:42
Speaker
doing like okay if for me like okay that was something there are some places opening now like for takeout like um you know we got sushi the other night the sunday moto coffee spot like
00:48:56
Speaker
And I think there is that weird and we've experienced this before where it's like, all right, well, what do you want to do? Well, we can't go there and sit down. Are we really going to drive there just to get a takeout cup of coffee? And it's like, well, what the hell else? Like, why wouldn't we? So, you know, creating those experiences that sure, maybe it's not the same. Maybe you go get a ticket.
00:49:14
Speaker
take out a cup of coffee and go sit on a bench somewhere. So especially now that it's getting nicer, like not writing those little things off. Something's going to open. Yeah, they opened today. Yesterday. We should go. So like not writing off those little things because it is all those cumulative little things. Yeah, for sure. That end up making a difference. You know, I was saying to you the environment ironically now of our garage because it's our workplace. Yeah, yeah. And
00:49:40
Speaker
So it might be like taking the dumbbells or the whatever and going out into the field. Mm-hmm Just not being in the garage. Yeah, we're at the end of the driveway. Yeah, and again those small things that Every day over time are gonna make a little bit of a difference versus just like I know what's the point? Yeah Well the environmental change to like and and this is something that it's not this is not my opinion This is a fact
00:50:10
Speaker
Restraining is a form of, is a significant form of stress. So like restraining, like I really want to go to the park, but what's the point? I'll just walk. No, no, no, no. Like physical restraining, small spaces, being held and not being able to move, like being basically immobilized. And that is a significant, you put somebody in a straight jacket. Sure. What happens?
00:50:36
Speaker
They're gonna freak out. But if you tell somebody to cross your arms and don't move for an hour, it's totally different. Yeah. Because they're being constrained. Yeah. Restrained. Small spaces is a stress that is going to trigger and trip a sympathetic nervous system response and you're gonna go towards that. People don't leave their homes. Got it. People have varying size homes. People live in different parts of the country. Yes, wherever you are, you might be
00:51:06
Speaker
in the mountains with endless amounts of whatever. I get that. But your environment, most people's environment is very, very restricted by way of either the structure that they live in or their normal spots they go to and go out and about is not there. Right.
00:51:26
Speaker
One of my clients was doing a workout in his garage, small space. And we had talked about this previously where, you know, he was like, you know, I feel like, I don't know like what was going on. And I was like, well, you were doing it, like, were you in a confined area? He's like, yeah. I was like, well, that's what was going on. You know? And like, that's, that's, look, I've been stuffed into a small box and it's, it's stressful. Like it is stressful.
00:51:51
Speaker
Um, but that's, that is a legitimate part of the stress. And so that's the allostatic load of stress over time. And sure today for a week, two weeks in it's home. Okay. I rediscover parts of the house. I'm cleaning. I'm doing projects two months in.
00:52:08
Speaker
Yeah, you better believe it. So going to a new neighborhood, seeing different things. What's the point of going for a drive and going to, why don't we go a different way home? You know? And so when we look at, I think moving into things we can do
00:52:27
Speaker
Yeah. It's not just about going into the gym. It's not just about, you know, these, these one things, it's looking at the overall thing. And so it could be something like, yeah, hopefully if you do live in an area where you can get out in under the sky and be out, that will help. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's great advice.
00:52:52
Speaker
especially now that it's, thank God, we're going out into the spring, not into the winter. It's huge. So does that mean we're going to get coffee and take a walk?
00:53:04
Speaker
Toby just gave a thumbs up Toby I am I'm gonna I'm not gonna lie I when I was thinking about that I was literally thinking of the view from your back deck and I was like man Toby has a bad ass yeah I know let's just get that and we're gonna blow it up and we're gonna paint our fence with it
00:53:25
Speaker
Yeah. So anyway, I think that's good. You know, thanks for you guys. I don't know how the live stuff was. Um, hopefully listening tomorrow on this is okay, but we're not much. I'm a planner. You're not a planner. Yeah, I know. So we'll plan. We'll plan another live. We'll plan another live in advance. Maybe maybe in two episodes. Okay. Next episode. I know what we're going to talk about probably. Okay. Right. Yeah.
00:53:54
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, either way, thanks for hopping in. Thanks for joining along. Good to see you Cliff. Thanks guys on the Instagram. Cliff, we have to chat. Okay. All right. That's it. See you later. Bye.