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C1 EP2 - A conversation about Will U. E. D’Snuts
58 Plays1 year ago
After a quick bout to protect their new acquaintance, the Street Bar Patrons face a new fight and the mystery of where their new friend came from.
CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains fantasy violence, Crime, Alcohol use, amnesia, potential trigger statements and strong profanity.
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Transcript
Podcast Intro and Themes
00:00:00
Speaker
Content Warning. Ursa Red is a podcast with mature themes for a mature audience. Content warnings can be found in the description. Welcome humans, robots, goblinoids to Ursa Red, a Dungeons and Dragons podcast about five individuals who live in a neon undercity of a post-dystopian fantasy world.
Character and Mystery Introduction
00:00:21
Speaker
I know you have questions. I know I did when I heard the story. John Phelps is investigating his boss and seems to think he's to blame for something. But what? Tony O. seems like an angry person trying too hard to do his job. I wonder what he thinks is in it for him. Kark and crime live in a townhouse and own a bar, but neither are taken care of, so how did they get in in the first place? And why are they obsessed with the festival forums?
00:00:47
Speaker
Mr. Somebody appears in safe harbor. Why this part of the under? Why are there people after him? I guess the only things we actually know is the under has at least one new guest and a few patrons of the street bar seem to have taken a particular interest in helping him while also pissing off some strange men. Hopefully I answer some of these things soon. Today I
Player and Character Fun Facts
00:01:09
Speaker
am joined by Carter Prophet. Hi, I'm Carter and I play Mr. Somebody.
00:01:16
Speaker
Well, fun fact is I have a brand new cybernetic arm, and it already feels like it needs to be greased up. I'm joined by Chase Dixon. What's up, everybody? I'm Chase Dixon, and I play Antonio Moretti. Fun fact, if you stuff a bunch of anticoagulants down a motherfucker's throat and cut his nuts off, takes about an hour for him to bleed out. Dean Balter. Hey, everyone. This is Dean Balter, and I play Karg. And fun fact about Karg is,
00:01:45
Speaker
There's one time I had a pet rock and like, he was like my best friend, his name was Corn. And like, we, we used to hang out for like, you know, for like three weeks. And then like one day I woke up and I wasn't, maybe I wasn't drunk enough and he stopped talking to me. And now he just lives in my pocket. What, what was his name? Corn. Corn. Pat Rock Corn. Uh, Dominic Waymire.
00:02:13
Speaker
I am Dominic Weimar. I play Johnny Phelps. And fun fact, up until about three years ago, I ran a stall at the Prospect Festival every year. What would you sell the stall? Tarot readings.
00:02:37
Speaker
All right. Were they terror readings, like real terror readings, or did you just like look at the cards and just be like, yeah, you're fucked. You're fucked. This is the second option, obviously. Oh, of course. Of course. I'm joined by Tim Lincoln. Hi, I'm Tim Lincoln and I play Optimus crime. Um, my fun fact for Optimus crime is that he loves cats.
00:03:04
Speaker
Because growing up his parents actually gave him a pet cat to take care of so that he could learn to appreciate and understand living creatures like corn the pet rock This this pet was actually alive Maybe maybe corn was a lot to I believe he was alive
00:03:27
Speaker
I think there would be some, uh, some adverse consequences though. If you put the pet cat in your pocket for his life would probably be pretty short.
GM Insights and Company Credits
00:03:41
Speaker
My name is Alexander Crutchfield and I am your GM for this adventure. And my fun fact is I have a 20 sided dice tattooed on my thigh. Uh, there's a two and it says it could be worth.
00:03:57
Speaker
How long have you had that for? Two years. I got it with my best friend Brad Sires who got a 19 and it says it could be better. Nice. Nice. I like that. That's a good tattoo.
00:04:07
Speaker
Oh, uh, before we begin, I would like to thank our parent company tactical crit for allowing us to host this podcast. They have another campaign in progress. And if you like this one, I encourage you to listen to tactical crits.
Shootout at the Street Bar
00:04:20
Speaker
At the end of the last game, uh, four individuals come out of the crowd. Uh, one of them straightens his jacket. One of them.
00:04:28
Speaker
Titans his tie the other one takes a drag off of his cigarette and the fourth one As he like kind of messes with his jacket. He reaches in pulls out a Pistol he's gonna shoot Phelps That was the shot
00:04:56
Speaker
Shot heard around the table. I'm in here. Carg's ship bottle busting open. Oh, yeah, this is fucking shit, bro. Oh, now we got fucking biological warfare out here. Wonderful. Another dude is going to reach inside of his jacket. He's going to try popping a shot off at Antonio, who is behind the bar. You have half cover, does a nine hit.
00:05:25
Speaker
No. Ah, okay. You miss you miss me, cocksucker. So close. And that will bring us to Mr. Somebody. I'm going to dive behind the bar and start trying to figure out exactly how the pistol works. And make sure I'm doing everything in it. Okay. Can you roll an acrobatics check for me? Uh, one 20.
00:05:53
Speaker
Jesus. Okay. Uh, and then can you roll an investigation check? Actually, my bad, a nature check, which is technology. It's still a four. You have successfully made it behind the bar. However, yeah, that's not, yeah, you're not figuring it out this turn. Uh, next up is Phelps. I will jump behind the bar as well.
00:06:23
Speaker
And I will prop my arm up on the bar using it for stability and shoot at the guy who shot at me. Okay. Uh, first off, acrobatics. Acrobatics. That's going to be a nine. Nine. Uh, you're going to make it on top of the bar. Good enough. And then, yeah, roll to hit 18. That's going to hit with a six damage. Okay. Describe.
00:06:52
Speaker
As I hop on top of the bar, I stand strong, brace in my arm, and I aim center mass on this guy, pull the trigger. Antonio. Yeah, how far away are these guys? These guys are about 30 feet. All right, I'm going to cast dancing lights as my action, as my bonus action. I'm going to move it right in front of all four of their faces so that they're blinded.
00:07:21
Speaker
Okay. Well, so would you like the good news or the bad news? Bad news first. Always bad news first. It is a dim light. Well, shit. All right. Good news. You can do it.
00:07:40
Speaker
So now so now these dudes are just they have a random dim light in front of their Very least now they're illuminated they're easier to hit now because it's nighttime. They kind of blend in with the background They're black black clothing. They're very easy to see you're welcome fucking in greats That's all I got. That's all you got. That's all I got. Okay, that's going to bring us to crime.
Tactical Combat and Humor
00:08:07
Speaker
Yeah. So how many people are around these bad dudes who are shooting at us? I know they just pushed out of a crowd. How many more people are around them? Like on the other side, like the crowd or like these dudes specifically. Yeah. Like how many people are like in their vicinity? Walking behind them, like dancing, uh, stuff like that. There's probably like 50 people visible.
00:08:09
Speaker
I
00:08:36
Speaker
Uh, so crime is going to go ahead and jump over the bar as well to take cover. And he's going to, he's just going to, yeah, he's going to take cover behind the bar and hold his action for them to like get closer, I guess.
00:08:57
Speaker
Okay. Speaking of getting closer, one of the dudes is going to run up and kind of like flip over a table that used to be a part of the street bar back when it was actually a business. We're still business here.
00:09:15
Speaker
Use that as cover and he is then going to he's going to shoot at Phelps because Phelps is standing on top of the bar. The next guy is going to run and like try and like get some cover behind like like a part of the wall that's extruding out.
00:09:36
Speaker
but he, it doesn't really cover him. So it's not going to offer him any cover. Uh, and he's going to also try shooting Phelps because he's, he's the one most visible, right? Does anyone else on their side of the bar? Well, I haven't moved yet. So then yeah, I shoot at you. No. Uh, doesn't 18 hit. Uh, that is my AC.
00:10:06
Speaker
Okay. It's size large, my dude. Yeah. He runs over and he like gets up against the wall trying to like make himself disappear. And like this dude, like this is a bigger dude. So like his stomach is very much still sticking out. And like his head is visible all over the top of like this basically air conditioning unit.
00:10:31
Speaker
and then he's gonna hold up his pistol and he's gonna aim real quick pull the trigger and He's gonna hit you in the arm for three points of damage Good thing I'm drunk Finally All right, so a card is So how big is the area around us?
00:11:01
Speaker
Like how far am I from the bar where everyone else is getting half cover? Like you're still standing at the bar, right? Like you just got back there with the balloon parts. So you'll have to use, uh, probably your bonus action to drop the balloon parts, but like you're right by the bar. If I, all right. So this is what my thought how, and then everyone, everyone else is pretty much on the other side of the bar at this point, right? Yeah.
00:11:32
Speaker
Except for Phelps, who is currently on top of the bar. Okay. So this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to, I guess, use my bonus action to drop my balloon parts. Uh, I am going to try to hop over the bar. Um, I'm assuming I need to check for that. Acrobatics. Acrobatics. Okay. Don't be in that one. Don't be in that one. Don't be in that one. He's going to roll a two 15 plus one 16.
00:12:03
Speaker
Oh, it's shit. That was my athletics. Uh, no, it's still plus one for acrobatics. Uh, 16, uh, you're going to make it over. All right. So I make it over and I am going to cast fairy fire, uh, over it's so it's a 20 foot cube, um, that is going to be right past us at the bar. So it's going to be like encapsulating all of the other four people that came in.
00:12:32
Speaker
And with Fairy Fire, all these creatures in the area, or all these people in the area, are going to have to cast a dexterity saving throw. They're going to have to beat a 13. And for anyone that fails, any attack roll that is against that affected creature has advantage. OK. Nice. So they all have to pass a dex of 13. OK.
00:12:59
Speaker
All these guys have fucking plus 25 to their dicks. They have a legendary resistances. If they fail this check, they just pass. The the fat guy who is hiding behind the building, his head and stomach is now glowing. Everyone else succeeded. All right. Well, this fat guy is glowing a violet light. OK, that'll bring us back to the top of initiative. Mr.
Daring Maneuvers and Strategy
00:13:28
Speaker
Somebody and then
00:13:29
Speaker
Phelps. How do you, how do you work this thing? I like, uh, I don't know the kind of motion towards, uh, Optimus crime. You need to take the safety off first. Okay. Uh, so that will count as like your action for this, um, crime.
00:13:52
Speaker
All right. So. Well, so like I'm saying, like helping him is going to be your action action action. OK. Well, is that going to end your term, Mr. Somebody? Yeah, that's yeah. OK, Phelps. I want to want to jump down behind the bar. Or attempt to with a 15 and.
00:14:21
Speaker
May I get behind the bar? Yes. Okay, I get behind the bar, squat down behind it, brace my arm on the counter with my pistol, rolling a 19 to shoot at the guy behind the AC. Okay, that's going to hit. With seven damage. I'm aiming for his stomach. Which one are you shooting at? The fat guy? Yeah, fat guy.
00:14:51
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Uh, that's going to be successful. Uh, I got two enemy, uh, both of them. So one of them's going to run and hide behind the fat guy. Uh, and the other one's going to run over and flip another table. Uh, the two behind the tables both have a half cover. Um, this dude is then going to, uh, reach over and shoot.
00:15:21
Speaker
and he's going to try to hit Karg. All right, all right. He rolled 17. That misses. He basically gets behind, lets off some loose shots. By the way, Sheriff Bill and Shockey have both also gotten behind the bar. They're absolutely useless in this fight, but they are safe-ish. Shockey just hit him with those balls over there.
00:15:51
Speaker
Uh, cool. We got Antonio followed by crime. Antonio, what are you doing? Yeah, I'm going to try and give this obese prick the best weight loss advice of his life and shoot his fucking gut off.
00:16:03
Speaker
mother fucking There we go. Fucking six damage. I'm gonna fucking eviscerate this fool. Yeah, so I'm gonna fucking aim for his rotund fucking mass on his skeleton and try to shed off like it just to cut a cut a line through him with the bullet.
00:16:29
Speaker
Okay, that's going to bring us to crime. So, crime looks over at, uh, the sheriff and he says, Sheriff Bill, aren't you going to do anything about this? And then Chalky leans forward and goes, uh, he, he's not actually a sheriff. He's a whistleblower. A fucking narc. Is everybody behind the cover?
00:17:00
Speaker
Yeah, actually everyone's behind cover now what I'm gonna do for the for my help action is I'm gonna grab the pistol out of Mr. Somebody's hand and I'm gonna go ahead like take it apart and I'm gonna have a whole bunch of like brushes come out I'm gonna start cleaning the heck out of that thing spraying a little bit of grease and oil in there I'm gonna put it back together rack it and hand it back to him um
00:17:29
Speaker
that's gonna bring us to our next two dudes. They're going to roll the hit. This is the fat guy and the first dude who got behind the table. Dude behind the table is going to pop a shot at Mr. Somebody for 14. That misses. And then the fat guy is going to aim at Antonio for
00:17:55
Speaker
Bring it, you fat prick. Not you, Crutch, the guy. I am offended, but not because of you. Sick. First person to shoot at. To shoot at the fat guy. In addition to the advantage, you also if you do hit, it is critical.
00:18:24
Speaker
Let's go. As a bullet goes sailing way over your guy's head and the person behind him kind of bumps him out where now his chest is also exposed. That's going to bring us to the top with Mr. Somebody followed by Phelps. Does an 11 hit. Wait, hold on. Did I go on this last turn? Oh, no, I don't think you did.
00:18:51
Speaker
Oh, you did not, my bad. Yeah, it's all good. It's all good. Just trying to get away from my dubious plan over here. So, Mr. Fat Guy, he's now sticking out with his chest and body pretty much, right? And he still gets advantage. And you said if we hit it's a crit? Yep. All right, I am going to Fireball him.
00:19:18
Speaker
Uh, and let me see if I hit with that real quick. Uh, does a 14 plus two, I'm assuming a 16 hits 16 does in fact hit. All right. Nice. Critical. Let's go. All right. So that's, uh, one that's one 10 plus. So that's, uh, that's
00:19:49
Speaker
12 damage. I'd like you to describe how you kill him. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah. So I look over this bar.
00:19:59
Speaker
I see this fat man who got pushed out of the way, and obviously biggest target, got to go for him. And Karg is just going to look over this guy and be like, hey, you fucking stupid. You shouldn't step out from your cover. And then he's going to shoot a huge fireball, or bolt, sorry, not ball, very big difference, fireball.
00:20:22
Speaker
Uh, directly at his chest, uh, and kind of like incinerate right through where his heart should be, but it's probably clogged with arteries anyway. So. Yeah. Uh, okay. Pride. Colonel Sanders will fall to the ground. Mr. Somebody. Uh, I'm going to, except for the fact, I'm going to shoot at one of the, the gentleman behind the table. Okay. 12 hit. 12 does not hit.
00:20:52
Speaker
Not used to the arm yet. And I'm, yeah, I'm just going to duck back down behind the bar. Okay. Um, Mr. Phelps, uh, does a mod 20 hit a mod 20 does hit. Okay. I'm gonna turn, turn my gun sideways. I'm gonna fire at the guy behind the table, grabbing my arm like that. Okay. That's a kill shot. How much damage?
00:21:19
Speaker
By the way, what he did was he turned his firing hand sideways and grabbed on top of his other arm to stabilize because that's the most stable shot you can take. Everyone knows this. Yeah. How much damage? Five. I would like to remind you, Mr. Phelps, that this is an audio podcast. Yes.
00:21:49
Speaker
Okay. Uh, that is going to bring us to two enemy. Uh, the one that is no longer behind, uh, the fat guy is going to take a step closer to try and fit into that space. Still not great cover, but, uh, it's at least something, I guess. Um, he is going to roll to hit Mr. Somebody.
00:22:20
Speaker
17. That hits. Are you including your plus five for three quarters cover? Oh, no, I'm not. That does not hit. The one of the dudes behind the table is going to jump up and is going to shoot a shot at Mr. Phelps and does a 22 hit.
00:22:49
Speaker
That does. Yes. Okay. And, uh, that's going to do 10 points of damage because it was a critical hit. That hurts quite a bit right there. Uh, that's now going to push us. We have Antonio followed by crime. Yeah. So the guy that just popped a shot off at Phillips, you said he hopped up. Is he more exposed than he was before he took the shot?
00:23:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, so i'm gonna notice him exposing himself a little more and i'm gonna i'm gonna shift my uh, my point of aim from the the jamuk that was hiding behind fat fuck and and Post it at the retard that just exposed himself And that's a fucking six i'm gonna fuck myself While you uh, while you do that crime, what would you like to do? Yeah
Interrogation and Aftermath
00:23:44
Speaker
so i'm gonna
00:23:48
Speaker
pop up from behind cover. And I'm going to make sure that there's no one in front of me that's in my way. I'm going to cast Tasha's Caustic Brew at one of the enemies. Is one of the guys still behind cover? One is, and I guess one isn't.
00:24:11
Speaker
And it sucks, I don't have my shit bottle, I could've... I was just about to say, yeah, he had to cost a crew. So what this is, is... Optimus Crime is very skilled with metalworking, and sometimes with metalworking, you use some very potent acids like sulfuric acid or hydrochloric acid. So he's gonna just spray a jet that's 30 feet long,
00:24:38
Speaker
at the guy that's behind cover and he needs to make a dexterity check of 13. Okay.
00:24:52
Speaker
Uh, he felled critically and, uh, just, uh, I want to throw something out there. Uh, crime. I feel like this is probably based off of a time when, uh, you and car got into a contest to see who could throw up further and you just over get it and learn that you had this ability. Like, was that, that sound right to you? Yeah. Yeah. Normally.
00:25:22
Speaker
Normally you'd use acids like this in very controlled measures, a couple drops at a time, little spritz. But he's able to dial down the valve so it's sprayed out like a super soaker. Yeah. So you critically hit, so? 14. Actually, he's dead. Yeah, so that acid sprays right through the table, eats a hole in it, sprays right into the guy, and he just starts melting like the Wicked Witch of the West.
00:25:53
Speaker
Call me task manager because I just killed that application. Kark. Well, there's what? Two dead enemies, right? Yeah. And there's two still standing. Yeah. All right.
00:26:14
Speaker
How does a fat man look right now? Fat man's dead. Oh, fat man's dead. So it's just these two- You killed fat man. Yeah, you're right, you're right. I did murder him. So, yeah. So, Karsny yell out, hey, keep, keep, make sure there's some motherfuckers tell us what's going on. And then he is going to a guiding bolt
00:26:42
Speaker
uh one of they're both behind cover right now right uh one is trying to be behind cover okay so i'm gonna guy cargo's gonna guiding bolt the one trying to get to uh to cover right now and he is gonna roll a 17 does a 17 hit well 17 will hit
00:27:08
Speaker
All right. So that's four D six radiant damage. He is going to, I got to roll it a little bit, you know, make sure I get a good amount. And that's the right amount. All right. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11 damage of radiant damage.
00:27:35
Speaker
Cool. We're going to swing around to the top of initiative. Uh, Mr. Somebody and Mr. Phelps. I would also like to state that because of guiding bolt, uh, homie that is trying to hide is glowing dim light glittering, um, for the until his next turn. Um, so all attacks against him have advantage. Oh, damn. I didn't even fucking notice that. Yeah. Thank you. Jim, Jim, Jim, my apologies.
00:28:05
Speaker
Thank you, Karg. Okay. Karg is the one who did. Karg didn't read his fucking spell list. All right. You're not wrong. Mr. Somebody behind the table. How far away is he? 20, 15 feet. A run over. And I'd like to jump over the table. And I'm going to assume a 19 hits on the guy.
00:28:35
Speaker
It does for six damage. He's looking very injured. Cool. All right. And that's going to enter. Mr. Phelps, what would you like to do? I'm going to. You, I'm going to shoot at the man attempting to get behind cover.
00:29:04
Speaker
Does a 15 hits? It does. Epic. He's dead. Okay. And then I would, I would also like to use mine second wind while ducking back behind the bar. What's that do? Uh, regain healing. Sick. So roll 1d10 and add that back.
00:29:33
Speaker
is one D 10 plus one. That is six. Okay. There you go. This concludes my turn. Will you describe how you killed the man? Yes. I hop up over that part. I was, you had them. I'm sorry. I, I stand up. Brace my pistol. Two hands aim at the man in the head.
00:30:03
Speaker
Hold the trigger. Well, flies through the table. He's attempting to hide behind. No, he's attempting to hide behind part of the building, but yeah, flies through the building. He's attempting to hide behind. That magic. Get on the spot. I got the armor piercing. Sick. That. Is going to bring it to the guy hiding behind the table.
00:30:35
Speaker
He he's gonna he's gonna try to shoot at mr. Somebody He successfully hits a balloon in the air I Like the balloon That was a that was a critical miss Next up we have Antonio and
00:31:04
Speaker
crime yeah so i'm gonna hop over the bar and i'm gonna fucking run over to the guy i imagine he's still trying to tussle with uh with our friend mr fuckface or whatever and i'm gonna take out my dagger and i'm gonna try and slice his achilles so we can't run away but it's not a lethal blow okay um so you're gonna say something yeah no uh we'll just auto hit that um
00:31:31
Speaker
Cool. Uh, we're going to exit initiative. The, cause that guy has like, before you cut his Achilles, he had one hit point left. So I'm going to consider him like incapacitated essentially. Um, we'll exit initiative. What do you guys want to do? It's a good thing you did a non-killing blow. Hey Karg, you got somewhere we can take this, Jamuk?
00:31:53
Speaker
Yeah, man, I got a behind the bar and then I got I got my house and that far is like, you know, far. I think we should bring him to house. We are not taking him to the apartment. We just cleaned it.
00:32:09
Speaker
We can clean up after we leave. I'm just saying, I think there's like one more bottle there. I don't know. I'm just saying. Through a generous donation from the Genovisi, we'll get that place cleaned. It's fine. We're taking the fucking God of the Apartment. If you say that, that means it gets full cleaned. Not the half clean, the full clean. It's 70% clean.
00:32:34
Speaker
Marcus is very generous. All right, just fucking take what we can get. Let's get this guy off the fucking out of the fucking street. All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna look over at uh At Optimus crime and be like just 70% that's better than we've had like ever This is a deal We are really winning So are you guys you guys are gonna drag this dude through the streets for two blocks?
00:33:00
Speaker
I'm gonna before we do it. I'm gonna take his he's wearing like a like a vest or a suit type thing Yeah, I'm gonna grab the back of it like a fucking hockey fight and pull it over his face So we can't see us when he comes to
00:33:14
Speaker
I think we should kind of like, so I think at least knowing how drunk people are, Karg is going to grab him by his arm around him and pretend to just like be drinking buddies with this unconscious guy. And he's going to try to weaken at Bernie's it and just be like, we're just walking around with my buddy. He's a little drunk.
00:33:39
Speaker
Don't worry, guys, I got them and search them for information identification. OK, um, do the same crime is used to carrying drunk people back to his apartment. So it's not unusual for people to see him carrying a drunk guy back there. He's going to also help to carry him. OK, I like it. I like it. The. No real identification
00:34:08
Speaker
They have like they like you can pull up like an I.D. card kind of thing on their like on their wrist. But it's very clearly fake. Hmm. What size clothes are they wearing? This is like barcode just like blacked out. That is how it's redacted, redacted. Yeah. No, this is like they have a bunch of like, you know,
00:34:39
Speaker
Uh, really like fake sounding names, like, you know, uh, these are from Hawaii. So what are the names, Dan? Is it, is it McLovin? Please say it's McLovin. If we're talking about fake IDs, come on, it's McLovin. They all have Hawaii IDs.
00:35:04
Speaker
I just took the fours and they drew the four to look like a nine On the license number No, it's just it's just a it's just a piece of paper with their picture that says I am 12 written in crowd One of them is a Ben Dover
00:35:33
Speaker
Another one named Mike. There's, uh, Odo mobile. Hey, is there a, uh, Hey, would you blow me in there somewhere? Yes, I believe there is. And, uh, let's see. Uh, I think that was already four. No, that was a bend over auto mobile and, uh, Hey, would you blow me? We got one more. Yeah. What's the fat guy's name?
00:36:02
Speaker
Will. Middle initial you. Last name. Last name, these nuts. Will you? Easy nuts. I was going to say the classic huge ass. Oh, well, I guess I guess if we were looking at all these bodies before we leave, what was the headless guy's name? Oh, Pat.
00:36:36
Speaker
Can I can I take Pat's head with me when we leave I mean, yeah if you want to all right, I would absolutely like to take his head and just like Actually, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take his head and I've got a little satchel. I'm assuming I'm assuming though that Optimus crime has like a hidden compartment somewhere on his body absolutely
00:36:59
Speaker
Is that correct or no? Okay, so I'm gonna stuff this head into the locker of Optimus Crime. He's got a fucking microwave built in. There's also a code that you'd go to a locker and you have to type in a certain code for it to open it up. And so I'm gonna type that code in real quick. I have my Brewers kit.
00:37:23
Speaker
My brewer's kit, I was using that as like a little bar station, like a little mini bar so I could like mix drinks. So yeah, my screen just pops down in my chest and you shove this dude's head right in there. The screen pops back. I like it. Perfect. Okay, you guys are also going to find there is four more weapons.
00:37:49
Speaker
If anyone needs weapons, there's also roughly 200 credits amongst the four of them. Hey, somebody grab those weapons. I'm gonna, I'm gonna sneak the credits as best I can. And like, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try and sneak a little bit of extra credits. Yeah. Before anyone else gets to the bodies. Mr. Somebody who will find a suit that fits you.
00:38:14
Speaker
As, as Antonio is sneaking these credits, I am also looking for credits off these guys, mostly just so I can pay for my next drink. Um, and so I'm going to try to grab as many as I can before I know that he's like, I'm seeing him grab these credits and I'm like, that's not a bad idea. Maybe I can get a little bit for myself. And I'm going to try to grab as many as I can. Hi.
00:38:40
Speaker
I would like to grab another gun and ammunition. Mr. Somebody, you're also going to pick up Hugh Jass's arm computer. You have a Hugh Jass computer right now. Just a Hugh Jass. The computer is a Hugh Jass computer. Yeah. Okay, cool. So you guys take him back to
00:39:10
Speaker
your apartment um cool what are we doing when we get there call you for all you got a fucking chair here is I'm looking at how well the cleaning ladies did how well well the throw-ups gone that's it yeah what else is gone who hmm hard to uh
00:39:39
Speaker
Hard to hard to tell. Crime is going to begin. Yeah, he's going to begin looking around the apartment, especially around his tool bench, just to make sure that none of his his tools got swiped. There is something missing from your toolbox. He opens up his toolbox and he's accounting for everything. He says crescent wrench check.
00:40:09
Speaker
Screwdrivers check, hydro spanner check. God dang it, they took the 10 mil again. I love that I didn't have to say it. Kog, you got a chair here?
00:40:24
Speaker
uh near pleasure to look around and then you're gonna look around there's there's like three chairs but they're all broken um either like one one's missing like one leg there's probably one that just doesn't have any legs it's a chair that like the legs are just off of it and then there's two that like they just definitely have cracks they're real sketchy to sit on um but he's just looking around he's like there's plenty of chairs just sit sit over where you want we got all these chairs
00:40:52
Speaker
Alright, I'm gonna I'm gonna sit this fucking fuck face down. I'm gonna take off my leather jacket. I'm gonna use the sleeves to tie up his ankles I'm gonna take one of the legs of the broken chair and put it between his feet but that so that the the sticks it sticking out past the bottom of his feet so we can't stand up really easy and then I'm I'm gonna take off my belt and tie his fucking hands behind his back. Alright, who can wake this cocksucker up?
00:41:19
Speaker
I'm going to bring them up, no problem, and I start peeing on them. I was thinking something like bringing back a little bit of vitality, so I could start asking questions. This is a lot of vitality right here. It's got all the nutrients in it. It's like alcohol in the water. Karg, what did I tell you about urinating? Do it in a bottle.
00:41:53
Speaker
That would, that wake him up. Yeah. Uh, yeah. He's awake for sure. Wait, was he awake? We brought him here and I just started peeing on him or like, did he wake up from the pee? Well, no, he was waking up and then you peed on him. Can we, can we roll to see if his mouth was open or can you roll to see if his mouth is open?
00:42:21
Speaker
This is the most important role in Ursa red history right now. Yes. Oh, man. He's drunk. Let's go. He's got he's got car piss going until me. He's probably drunk now. Oh, fuck. No, we need this kind of survive. Chill. Chill. Hey, yeah. Mr. Somebody, come here real quick. Walked over. Bring over. Bring over. All right. Listen, you cocksucker.
00:42:51
Speaker
I don't know who you are. I don't know what the fuck you want. But a stupid fuck, looking just like you, tried to apprehend my friend over here. I want to know why. This can end either really bad for you or really, really, really bad for you. I'm going to let you decide. I think you should give him second option. He had two options, Phelps.
00:43:17
Speaker
You want to come up with an option? You should give him the second option. Oh, we'll figure that out. It's based on what he decides. All right. Fair enough. So before you come to your decision, I want to let you know I've done this. This is what I'm good at. All right. This will suck. So what do you want with my friend over here? Honestly, the same thing you want.
00:43:46
Speaker
No, no, I'm asking him. Oh, what's the fuck face? You said you said to pull him over and then you're talking to me. So I was like, all right, you know, you're my friend. You think this guy's my fucking no me any man to move. He's all of a sudden my friend. Yeah, other than you. I said we called this one. And this man and chair fuckface to meet me and him together because he has no clue who's who. He doesn't know who your friends are.
00:44:16
Speaker
I was gesturing to him, okay? I guess you're on a webcam doing this. I can't fucking tell. I'm trying. I'm speaking Italian because I put my fucking fingers like this. Man in chair is fuckface too. Man, here is fuckface one. I was like, damn, he's coming on a little hostile to me, but all right. Sure. I mean, I kind of understand it. I was supposed to keep him in the house for testing.
00:44:48
Speaker
I don't do the test. Do I look like a nerd? Yes, you do. I mean, you're really fucking nerdy. You're sitting in a chair, stupid. You just got fucking pissed on. You are. You are the biggest fucking nerd I've ever met in my fucking life. All right. And I've met Phelps. Carr gets a second window. Carr gets like a second window piss and he just starts peeing all over him. He's peeing on him.
00:45:16
Speaker
Uh, who do you, who the fuck do you work for? The doctor. Police guard in a bottle. Who the fuck's the doctor? How the fuck does that answer any fucking question? Are you talking about doctor, my dentist doctor? Cause they, they don't respond to my calls. Different doctor. Different doctor. We just call him the doctor.
00:45:45
Speaker
Where can I find this doctor? I got my dentist number if you want to. Different, different doctor. You know, sometimes I like to play doctor and I have some tests we can try. Antonio, I have this battery here. Can you test if it still has charge in it? And I'm going to tap the two leads together as they make a little spark and carry the battery over to Antonio.
00:46:14
Speaker
I like sound of these. You want to change your fucking tune? Give us anything fucking more than absolutely fucking nothing. Will knew. Will knew where the doctor was. Will? Yeah. Will you eat these nuts? Dude, will you just get these nuts by a fucking hostage? No, that's his name. That's his name. Just like, just to frame a point, just give him like a little tap in the fucking throat. Yeah.
00:46:43
Speaker
Optimus crime is gonna take the leads of the battery and he's gonna zap this guy and Do his shocking grasp on him? His name is D's nuts All right
00:47:05
Speaker
I've been forging shit since before I could fucking play with my dick. I know damn well your identifications are fake. You better start producing some real fucking names that's gonna get real fucking bloody. What is this fucking amateur hour? I'm gonna grip him by his hair and take out a fucking knife like I'm about to cut his ear off. I swear these nuts had a letter. Had a what? A letter.
00:47:31
Speaker
Yeah, his fucking name had two right in the middle and that some before and some after. No, you mean a letter. Wasn't a. Wasn't to be. Wasn't C. You just switched your accent. Switch your accent made conversation.
00:48:00
Speaker
Was it me or was it Waymayer that did? Waymayer. Waymayer went from sounding like he was Eastern European to sounding like he's German now. I mean, that's generally his. That is the letter. That is his. We will ask the questions. He went from Mikhail Phelps to freaking Hans Zimmer over here in 0.2 seconds.
00:48:29
Speaker
faster than, uh, Karg raises his, uh, BAC. I'm going to, I'm going to plop the letter. Um, I'm assuming that was the one it was on these nuts. Okay. This fucking water. What does it say? There's a piece of paper. Uh, yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah, sure.
00:48:55
Speaker
I didn't have the letter. I just knew he had a letter. I didn't get a good look at it. Well, kind of, that's fucking weird. It's, it's a, it's a crime to read other people's mail. Enforced by who? Optimus Crime grabs the letter and reads it. Good job. I will be meeting you at mid-dim at the Hotel Estranged. Huh. That's a very strange letter. This from the doctor?
00:49:22
Speaker
Is it from the doctor or is it? I don't know. I can't read his handwriting. I'm asking him. I'm asking. Oh, I'm asking. Yeah. Yeah. That that that sounds like the one that. Yeah. How long was my friend in that room for? We've been watching him for about a week. You know where he came from before that? You better fucking pray to your God that you fucking know where I came from. I don't. Well, there goes a fucking here.
00:49:49
Speaker
And I just start sawing off his fucking right ear. Unlucky Jesus Christ. I told you this could end really bad or really really bad. There was no good option. I think there were more realism just saying this was really really really really really bad. That could still happen. Antonio, you should stop. I don't think he has any more information that could be useful for us.
00:50:15
Speaker
I don't want to hear anything from you walking fucking vibrator. Listen here. Where's your fucking? Where do you guys meet? I know you're not alone. It's not just the fucking for you and some mysterious mythical fucking doctor. All right. Where can we find more of you? And don't you I believe the hotel for the a good place. I was I was assigned to this building. These nuts was my boss. He he went to other.
00:50:49
Speaker
You were the one that really came up with the really funny names You know they make like roll tables for names, right? Yeah, but somehow you roll Dean nuts. That's just fucks These nuts was my boss and he went to the meetings I assume there's probably people protecting the doctor at the hotel
00:51:15
Speaker
Is there a question? Good question. Do any of us know who owns this hotel? We've lived here. Does anyone here know who owns the hotel? Yes. Spetal. All right. Cars are just going to be like, cars are going to be like, look, guys, no problem.
00:51:38
Speaker
We'll talk. We'll go talk to the owner of the hotel. Everyone knows it. Look, I go way back. All right. I know. I know Spittle. We're going to have a great time. We'll talk to him. He's got to know something. Yeah, this cocksuck has already seen our faces. He's got to go. Is there a window? I think given the circumstances, is there somebody? Do you want the honest? I do. Is there a window? Hand in my fucking eyes. Is there a window? There is a window.
00:52:07
Speaker
Sick. I'm going to go and
Calling the Cleanup Crew
00:52:09
Speaker
open the window before make my way back over to, uh, I don't remember this fucking dude's name, not D's nuts, uh, whatever his name is. And, um, fuck face. Yeah. Fuck face too. I'm going to get him out of the chair and I'm going to, it's like, hold his, his arms behind his back and walk him through the window. And I'm going to like push him like halfway out over the window. And is there anything fucking else you know? No.
00:52:36
Speaker
What's your real name? What's your real name before my friend, my friend over here is hand slip. And Tonya, you might want to get your clothes from often first. No. Oh, that's a good point. I would like to state that at this point, we would take a Patreon subscribers name as Mr. Somebody's holding the guy out the window. I'm going to lean over to Karg and be like, he does realize we live on the first floor, right? I assume it's like second or third. It was a nice part of town.
00:53:04
Speaker
No, I'm just gonna look over like, wait, we have floors? Not with the way you're destroying them. There's what I'm talking about, and then Karg pees again. He's all gonna get it out, right? Yeah. Karg, do you have mop? Real, uh, travel moment. Karg, do you have mop that I can clean with? Absolutely, and crime's gonna go grab you a mop.
00:53:34
Speaker
Uh, George, George Moray. Well, George, you chose the wrong fucking place and the wrong fucking people. I didn't choose shit. Could've said no. Well, since we're on the first floor. Mr. Somebody. Unlucky. Card goes over and frisks him real quick to see if he can grab anything out of this dude's pocket. If he's got anything in his pockets at all that we haven't got. And we checked him. We checked everyone else, though. No, you guys checked him.
00:54:02
Speaker
I don't get it. So car just grabs his ass. And then and then. Yeah. All right. Since this is from the first floor, I guess I'm just going to put his his neck right. I like the window sill. Just slam it down. Did you just guillotine a motherfucker with the window guillotine? More crush. Real strength. Saw that. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Get to get to one. Nineteen. Oh, fuck. He was very pissed off.
00:54:30
Speaker
Yeah, you have successfully killed this man with the window. You know, my favorite part of living here is all the things I get to fix. I'm assuming I have a, I have a way to communicate, uh, long distance with guys in the Genovese. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to give them a ring.
00:54:49
Speaker
I'm going to let them know, hey, don't ask questions. I'll tell you more later. I need a clean up crew sent to the street bar and this fucking, I guess you could call this a fucking apartment. The deep clean. Yeah, yeah. There's a car going to look over. He's going to be like, yeah, the good one though. Not the free one. We use that one. I mean, that's what I'm telling you on site. Give them 70% clean.
00:55:17
Speaker
And then he's gonna look, Carter's gonna look over and be like, dude, you fucking hear this? He said, 7% dude, holy shit, that's fucking awesome. I know. They never cleaned up to 7%. Make it look good. The patron of these places, they done me a favor. Make it look good. Yeah. Got it. And, uh, they're gonna hang up.
00:55:39
Speaker
Uh, for the future, um, that does cost money to make long range calls. Um, sick. Not if you call collect. What are you guys doing? Well, to be fair, he, to be fair, uh, Antonio did make some cash off of, uh, some of these, some of these, uh, people that we've killed. So yeah, I'm looking pretty good for a low level character right now.
00:56:04
Speaker
I got a question about the long distance calling. Is it like how it used to be where it's like if you call someone in a different zip code, you have to dial their zip code and it costs money, but you can call for free in your zip code? No. Some of the listeners here might not remember that. Back in the 80s.
00:56:26
Speaker
Yeah. So there's this thing called telephones and they used to have them in one in everyone's house. You had a house phone and if you wanted to dial someone out of your, your zip code, your area code. Was this before or after the discovery of fire? You were there for both. So five year difference. All right. Uh, so where are we going to check my like risk computer to see what time it is.
Hotel Investigation and Clues
00:56:55
Speaker
Uh, we got about an hour till mid dem. I think we need to, we need to start fucking pushing to, to the hotel. Big guy. How far is the hotel from here? The hotel is strange is about five blocks from our current location. Yeah. So a hotel is strange. Only safe, only, only good place in safe hall, but you don't even, you don't even got to check in at the bar. Uh, it's about five credits. I can.
00:57:18
Speaker
If we got some fucking, I imagine our friend over here doesn't have anything. So, uh, so I'll cover him for the night. Uh, if we have to stay, there's not a lot of bugs, mostly bug free, you know? Uh, and surprise, surprise. Every week it gets mob. You believe that shit? Fucking. I don't know any place down here. They a week. Oh my goodness. Every week. Once a week. Yeah. Yeah. You heard me correctly. Good to know your memory's gone, but you're fucking hearing ain't go nowhere.
00:57:47
Speaker
this place is hell it's actually surprise surprise again it's got showers so uh uh cog over here you'd absolutely absolutely take advantage of that i'm just saying but if they don't got bugs where are we getting our snacks from that's the most disgusting thing i've ever heard in my fucking life and i swear to god i'm gonna pretend like i never heard it spittle spittle spittle is owner of hotel he is he is annoyed most of time
00:58:17
Speaker
doesn't show up in the public areas very often, but you can hear him yelling at children and workers. He doesn't yell about anything of importance. People think because the rule says he can yell.
00:58:33
Speaker
He thinks he must. As you guys start approaching the hotel, you guys kind of get to a place where you can see the entrance. Phelps, you're going to see before the others and walking across the street towards the hotel entrance is Marcus Genovesi and also his father. Wait, do you mean Marcellus?
00:59:01
Speaker
His son. Fuck. First episode. All right. You see looking. Second episode. Second episode. You see look or walking across the street is Marcellus and Marcus Genovese walking towards the hotel. Yeah, what's up? The Genovese leaders, they are approaching hotel.
00:59:23
Speaker
Well, then I got us an end to the lobby. So let me go on ahead and I'll talk to him. I got to drop off my collections anyway to Marcellus. So I'm going to go on ahead. Antonio, I'm just saying, look, I'm really good with these guys, all right? Just let me handle this, all right? Karg and I will be at the bar. I wouldn't expect you anywhere else. Karg is going to yell over to the Genovese's, and he's going to be like,
00:59:54
Speaker
Hey! You guys wanna get a drink with us? Wanna go hang out? Wanna go to the bar? Uh... Marcus is gonna be like... Ah! C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-
01:00:22
Speaker
Yes, I have some drinks. I I have things to do. Antonio. Keep him away from me and. Korg, would you shut the fuck up? It's the fucking Don you're talking to. Oh, you're right. You're right. You know, you're right. He doesn't want to talk because he's he's got stuff to do. I also have stuff to do. You know, so I got to go. I got the top of a bottle of whiskey.
01:00:50
Speaker
And then Carter's going to look over at the rest of the Genesis family and kind of like, you know, dip his head and just be like, you know, I hope you guys have a good night. I've got stuff to do. I'm sorry. I can't hang around, hang out with you, but I got, I've got important things to do. And then he's going to start walking over to the bar. Uh, the bartender is, I dunno.
01:01:19
Speaker
goblinoid named Henry and Henry is going to come over and be like, what can I get for you? Also remember that if you guys are just sitting here and not staying the night, you have to pay, uh, one credit. I'm like, like one credit per drink. No, just just one credit just to sit here. Oh, and the drinks are free. Okay. No, no, no, no, no. That's, that's not how it works.
01:01:47
Speaker
And if Spittle finds out, he's going to be furious. Yeah, but Spittle, Spittle's a good friend of mine, right? We're all, we're all friends here, you know? And if you tell Spittle, you tell Spittle, Karg is here and he is going to be drinking for free. Uh, Karg, I see you here every Prospect Festival.
01:02:13
Speaker
and yeah i love the prostrate fantastic we both know that you're not friends with spittle i mean these friends acquaintances i'm you know i know these things up to me
01:02:42
Speaker
You know, he looks up to me cause like I own a really cool bar. No, cause he's a goblin and you're taller than him. I mean this, this shows more ways that he looks up to me. He's going to just ask you what you want. We'll have two whiskey sours and I'm going to put a two credits on the bar for us to sit here and then, uh, whatever. How much will that be?
01:03:12
Speaker
Four credits. So I put six credits on the bar for us to sit and for us to each have a whiskey sour. Oh, I'm sorry. Four credits per whiskey sour. Ah, yes. And I pull out more credits. I count my credits and I give him four more.
01:03:36
Speaker
He is going to make you some whiskey sours, set him down on the bar. He's gonna look at Phelps and Mr. Somebody. Are you guys just hanging out or are you over at the bar? I'm gonna come over to the bar. Okay. I will follow. So he's gonna look at you and be like, John, what would you like? Gin and tonic.
01:04:06
Speaker
Genentonic, that'll be three credits. I will pay. Okay. Take away three credits. Uh, plus 1% down. No. They like him here. Hey, John. Yeah. Is this guy one of the suits? Does he work for the Genovese family? And he's going to gesture at, uh, Mr. Somebody. He is, he is friend of mine.
01:04:36
Speaker
but does it work for the family? Not, not, not yet. All right. Hey, you know, if you're going to be sitting here, it's going to cost you a credit. Okay. It's kind of weird. You want anything to drink? Uh, sure. What do you recommend? You know what? You're getting a fucking gin and tonic. Who, who, how the fuck did you get this old and not whatever? And so he makes two gin and tonics and he sets it down on the counter. All right. What about you? Uh,
01:05:06
Speaker
Antonio, you drinking? I'm talking to Marcellus. I got, I got collections to drop off and I want to ask him some questions. Okay. Uh, well, Marcellus is, uh, currently using the, uh, the conference room. Um, as far as I'm aware, no one's to interrupt them. All right. I have worse ways to pass the time than with a delicious elixir. What would you like? Could always be worse.
01:05:36
Speaker
Whiskey, neat. All right. Three credit. I've been having sour. How do you do that? It all goes down the same. Yeah, he has three. I'm a ball if you want to try it. Actually, Henry, put it on my tab.
01:05:59
Speaker
Spill gets mad at me when I do tabs. Well, we'll tell them to pick it up with Marcellus. And so you guys are gonna sit there kind of drinking your drink. Not long after, it's mid-dem and
01:06:25
Speaker
a man's going to come in in a suit surrounded by nine dudes also wearing suits. You get the same kind of vibe as like the dudes that you fought in the by the street bar and they're all going to walk to the conference room and then two of them are going to be hanging out outside the conference room door and the rest go in.
01:06:52
Speaker
Cog's gonna Cog's gonna shout out at one of those dudes and ask if he's gonna look over to me Hey, I guess you guys wanna get a drink with us. You're standing here. You gotta get a drink. I got a sour Rounds on me Hey rounds on him. I can't get a second. So it was too sour Fuck off cog And fuck it put on the tab. No one's paying it anyway
01:07:21
Speaker
He's going to make the drinks. The two guys at the door are going to like kind of like. Look at you to acknowledge you, but like not reply like they're. Seem kind of uptight. I'm going to I'm going to walk over to one of them and I'll put my arm around the shoulder and be like fuck off.
01:07:51
Speaker
My friend here offers you a drink and you don't even say no. Thank you. Where are your manners? Come on, sit down. It's a, it's a communal place. Have one drink, go back to watching your fucking door, like do whatever the fuck we don't care, but come have a drink. That's no way to talk. I was going to look over at the bartender and just be like.
01:08:14
Speaker
Hey, what the fuck is going on with these guys? I mean, you've seen them before, because I've never seen them before. I'm here all the time. Me and my friend really come here. You aren't here all the time. Yeah, but it's more than once.
01:08:34
Speaker
in cards defense he probably doesn't remember all the places that he's drank so oh he has no idea he knows he's been here before but it's been like very brownout moments like maybe he came by stumbled across the the place they kicked him out a couple times yeah he mostly knows other people have pulled him yeah yeah those those goons come here every every prospect festival
01:09:02
Speaker
Well, I guess these guys need to learn that they need to be more spittable during the Prostrate Festival. While I have my arm around this guy, as I'm going to take this opportunity, OK, fine. I'm going to try to brush my arm along this guy's pockets to see if I can slide anything off his person. Roll slide of hand. That's a 21. 21.
01:09:33
Speaker
out of his pocket you're gonna pull out oozies he's got 25 glizzies in this pocket you're gonna pull out a room key for the hotel all right i'm gonna like uh like i guess like uh
01:10:00
Speaker
Slide my hand on the back of my head, like, ah, OK, guys, I guess you don't want to. As I do that, I slide it down, like, right underneath my collar. So it sticks, but it can't be seen. And then I'm just going to walk back over to the bar. Hey, fellas, just lifted this fucking Jamuk's room key. What's A Henry? But I'm saying that so the guys can hear, but Henry can't.
01:10:29
Speaker
Um, and, uh, so we might, if we get nothing out of this conference room, we might know where to check later. I think it would be a good idea to go check now while they are. The meeting just started. I still got to talk to Marcellus, so. And we still have drinks to finish.
01:10:58
Speaker
You give me the key and then me and this Johnny boy over here and I put my arm around John Doe and so the rest of us will go look at the room real quick and you go distract, give some credit out. I would advise you do not give him the key.
01:11:25
Speaker
I'm going to give you the key. That's the same thing. Just so. Prime is going to. Cheers with Karg and then he's going to say down the hatch. He's going to open up a literal hatch and pour the drink in all over the head that's still inside. Oh, yes. Right. So. I imagine homie in the afterlife spirit just got dizzy.
01:11:54
Speaker
Yeah, I uh, just just to clarify. Okay, so who's going upstairs? I believe everyone except me. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, everyone except for Antonio. Okay, cool. You guys going now? Yeah.
01:12:12
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I'm, uh, yeah, as soon as I get the key, I'm just going to start walking with, uh, the whatever leftover, honestly, at this point, the whiskey sour has been long gone. I'm just holding this cup, um, and walking towards, uh, walking towards the room, I guess. I don't know if is, I don't know a floor. I'm assuming the floor and key, like all the key, it's going to have like the floor and room number kind of thing on it. Yeah. So yeah, I'm just going to start heading towards that.
01:12:39
Speaker
Before we leave, I would like to say to Antonio, if they leave a room and start coming upstairs, send me message. I can do that. OK, thank you. And then I leave. And yeah, now. So. For the comms, look, checked into it. It is a tenth of a credit per.
01:13:09
Speaker
word. So 10 words for one credit. Yep. Yep. 10 cents a word. Uh, so you guys head upstairs and you get to the room, uh, two one five and you just kind of tap the card against the, the lock and it who opened the door.
01:13:36
Speaker
Uh, you guys push open the door inside. There is a Siri, like, uh, like a set of luggage, essentially. Um, which seems very uncommon, like.
01:13:56
Speaker
Rarely do people like take luggage when going to the other side of the city So there's this hotels like a one one night room kind of thing like you can get like multiple nights, but like I Mean if you live in the city like generally like you you go home Pretty quickly. So like you like bring like a backpack but this is like a set of luggage and
01:14:22
Speaker
The bed has been made. There is like a little display on the wall. It's turned off. You also have a pretty nice view of the festival from the window. They're laying
01:14:48
Speaker
On the bed is a contraption you guys haven't seen before. Oh boy. New toys. That was pretty dope. As Optimus Crime sees the stuff on the bed that he has no clue what it is, it peaks his curiosity and he's gonna head over there and start inspecting it.
01:15:14
Speaker
Anyone who's inspecting or is looking at this device, uh, role in nature slash technology check. Um, anyone who's like trying to like look through, oh, I bet there's a, there's also like a desk in the room. Anyone who wants to look through the desk or the luggage roll investigation. Um, and.
01:15:41
Speaker
Can I just give a help action to Optimus crime? Yeah, absolutely. I got an eight. No. What did you get? I got a seven. He got an eight, so plus five. It looks like there's a spot for you to put it on your head, kind of like the respirator.
01:16:11
Speaker
It's got like little hoses coming off of it and things like that. Uh, you're, you're very like, you're trying to understand what the hoses are for. Karg is going to put it up, uh, up to his face. And, uh, no dizzy. I kind of like it. Did anyone roll investigation? Yes, I rolled a 16.
01:16:36
Speaker
16. So inside is a bunch of. Like different sets of clothing, most of them are like more plasticy. Which seems unusual. You're also going to find that, like.
01:17:02
Speaker
There's a thing with a time on it, but the time seems wrong. Um, cause it says it's like four in the morning. Juliet time. Um, you're gonna also find that there is.
01:17:24
Speaker
ammo for weapons, and things like that inside of these cases. If you go through the drawers, there's a list of numbers that have no obvious meaning. I'm gonna pocket the list of numbers. Can you describe the other item again? Which item?
01:17:50
Speaker
The one that you're investigating. So it looks for the nature. So you guys have like or so like the organic individuals. Have like respirators like the like three and one that I have when I'm working with chemicals or like the one that the army gives for like gas. Whereas this one seems.
01:18:19
Speaker
a little bit more technical, and it has tubes that go to a weird device that kind of seems like it pumps something. And it made me feel dizzy. And it made you feel dizzy. Oh, it's it's Bane's mask. Yo, we got venom now. Hmm.
01:18:47
Speaker
Can I? All right. I'm going to, I'm going to take the mask off my face. Okay. Uh, and is there a, is there any windows in this room? Yes. I'm going to, I'm going to put it down. I'm going to walk over to the window and look out and see if I see anything outside this window. Uh, so the window is barred, but outside you see like the prospect festival. Um.
01:19:15
Speaker
Hmm. I'm going to look over at Optimus and I'm going to look over at him and say, uh, Optimus, I think, I think we messed up. I left the balloon. Oh my goodness. You're right, Karg. We didn't get our balloons this year. I had one and I didn't bring it.
01:19:45
Speaker
Well, maybe there'll still be enough time after this. I'm gonna put my faith in you. If we do get a balloon, can we get a cat shaped balloon? I love cats. Anything for you, buddy. I would like to use this moment away from Antonio to read the letter from
01:20:12
Speaker
The general VC man I yanked it off of. Yeah. So this letter is to the Daniele family. Who runs a different part of the under the other part is. Neon Park.
01:20:42
Speaker
And in the letter it says, I don't like when these guys come. I think they had something to do with my grandson. We need to figure out how to make them not return to our city. Hmm. I'm gonna bring over the Wilson numbers.
01:21:11
Speaker
into a metal pants. Just kinda like prison it to him. What, you make anything of this? Who do you think I am, Rain Man? Analyze it or something? It looks like a series of numbers to me. Oh, he's a robot. Not with that attitude. That's great. We have a computer if you can't do anything.
01:21:40
Speaker
Might I, might I take a look at numbers? Pass it off to you. DM, what are numbers exactly? Uh, well, I'm not going to go through all of them, but it's always one number, comma, another number. Uh, it could like.
01:22:03
Speaker
Uh, all of the, all of the numbers are three digits. So three digits, three digits, but then the next one is three digits, three digits. You might think that all robots are smart with numbers, but I've learned there's 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't. I would like to copy numbers. Someone out there would like to copy numbers down. Yeah.
01:22:33
Speaker
Okay. Are you copying it down onto something like tangible or are you copying it down to your mind or your eye? Yeah. Okay. Cool. Uh, you essentially take a photo with your eye. Yeah. And then I hand it back to Mr. Guy with face. Um, is there anything like, can we tell what this mask is hooked up to? Like, is this like knockout gas or something? No, it's a, it's a pump, but whatever it's supposed to be like.
01:23:03
Speaker
working with it is empty right now or. So. I'm not like respirators normally filter stuff, but this one's like pumping something into the mask. Yes, like forcing forcing something through. Yes, like an anesthesia mask. It's like it's like it's like a bong mask. Yeah, yeah.
01:23:32
Speaker
Anything else that we would like to do while we're in here? Karga's Karga is kind of sad at this point. Can I take the mask? This is like really hard to fit in your storage while there's a head. Well, I could just put it on the head.
01:23:58
Speaker
Well, the pump isn't like super small. I'd say it's like. I would recommend you just put the head on the bed. Like the pump is. Oh, God. Yeah. Just take the head out, put it on the bed, and then just put the pump inside. I guess, yeah. Maybe it's not the mask that's the important part. Maybe it's like the pump if there's something. Karg, I do want to point out this is a hotel room. Might have a minibar. It does not have a minibar.
01:24:26
Speaker
Damn it. I tried, buddy. I was looking out for you. So, uh, I, I, I mean, at least car cars kind of said he's not going to really investigate any much further, but, uh, yeah, also included an investigation. I didn't find much also, uh, miss, Mr. Manley leaf number paper here.
01:24:50
Speaker
So if I take the head out, could I fit either one or the other, the pump or the mask? Yes, if you take the head out, you can fit the pump and the mask. Oh, you should totally leave the head on the bed.
01:25:06
Speaker
I'm gonna do that. Crime doesn't care about this head anymore and he's not sure why he's carrying it still. It's covered in whiskey sour and it's kind of sticky. And if he could smell, which he likes to pretend he can smell, but he knows it would be smelly. So he takes the head out and he's gonna put it on the bed and he's gonna take this strange contraption and he's gonna shove it in the box and close it up. Yeah.
01:25:36
Speaker
Um, so jumping down to Antonio, uh, so the other guards that came with the man are, uh, going to leave the room and start heading up to their hotel rooms. I'm immediately shooting a message to Phelps. I see the message. Yeah. The message says, uh,
01:26:04
Speaker
on the way up, get out now. So that's 70 cents. Roll for reception. A gentleman, we have company on the way. We should make our leave right now. Is everyone gone?
01:26:23
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I think Card was not very perceptive anyway. He kind of was just having a good time in there and trying to look at some things real quick. And once he was bored, he kind of just started walking out anyway right before he was told that we should go. I'm going to send another message that says, try to find other way down.
01:26:46
Speaker
60 more sense. So as everyone kind of gets out of the room, you're going to receive that message that says try to find other way down. But like Karg is going down the stairs and he's holding his empty whiskey sour glass as he like walks past these guards. You guys, you guys know the next bars because my glass is empty and I kind of just like shake it out of this empty drink. One of them looks at you and says probably where you found that one.
01:27:17
Speaker
That's not very helpful. After, after they've walked past us, I would like to toss their key on ground and stairwell and tell them, gentlemen, you have dropped your key. They're going to pick it up and be like, Oh, this one's. Yeah. Thanks. And they're going to get up and they're all going to start going into different rooms.
01:27:45
Speaker
Then the door is going to open again and the doctor is going to walk out. It's been about 30 minutes ish. And the doctor and the two guys with the door start to head upstairs. You guys are all down at the bar now. What do we want to do? As Marcellus came out? No.
01:28:13
Speaker
Okay. Anything good up there, boys? We found some things. There was list of numbers I have copied down and crime has some doohickey. And now they got ahead on their bed. Yes, they have left a mess.
Grave Discoveries and Cliffhanger
01:28:33
Speaker
I recommend we conclude our business here quickly. I don't even know what that means. We got ahead of the situation.
01:28:41
Speaker
They left the, they left the decapitated head on the bed. We don't talk about that thing. Okay. They left the thing. I got you that pry in years, pry in years, brother. It is okay, friend. Did you say I'm not a pioneer? Hey Antonio, what's your passive perception? 15. You're going to notice that they didn't close the boardroom door.
01:29:12
Speaker
all the way at the conference room door all the way. Uh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get a little sneaky, try to, try to get an ear and an eye, ear to the door, eye into the room, see what I can see. Uh, the room is quiet. Slowly, very incrementally opened this door. So as like, you wouldn't notice, uh, like a sudden move you'd like.
01:29:35
Speaker
You look at it, cool doors, propped open, look back. And if you were to look, it's like, oh, yeah, it was just that propped open when I looked back. You know what I mean? As you're opening the door. Very, just very slow. You guys are going to hear a yell come from upstairs. As.
01:29:55
Speaker
The guy has finally got his key and gone into his room. And Antonio, you are going to see on the inside of that door that you are very slowly opening. Very slowly. I cannot emphasize enough how very slightly I'm opening this door. Unbelievably slow. Painfully slow. On the door, on the inside of the door, you see blood splatter.
01:30:24
Speaker
And that is going to end our game for this week. Join us next time as we look and see what is happening at Hotel Estranged. Thank you for joining us on First of Red, and we will see you next week.
Podcast Credits and Social Media
01:30:47
Speaker
Ursa Redd is Dean Balter as Karg, Alexander Crutchfield as our GM, Tim Lincoln as Optimus Crime, Carter Prophet as Mr. Somebody, Dominic Waymire as Johnny Phelps, and myself, Chase Dixon as Antonio Moretti. This podcast is directly supported by our Patreon and wonderful listeners like you.
01:31:08
Speaker
Our Patreon supporters get access to exclusive behind-the-scenes content like our aftershow, Tactical Paws, and recordings from our Cessin Zero. And if you are a Patreon supporter, you also get to submit names that we will use for NPCs during the show. So, if you like our content and you want to support our adventures, you can do that at Patreon.com slash Tactical Crits. Follow us on social media for updates on future episodes. Our Instagram is Tactical Crits. We're on Twitter, at Tactical Crits.
01:31:37
Speaker
We have a reddit is it's r slash you guessed it tactical crits We also have a Facebook page and a YouTube channel and we'll link all of our social media in the description Go check it out and we'd love to hear from you and know what you liked about the show That's it for this week everybody and we'll see you next time