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Into the Weeds
83 Plays6 years ago
It's amazing, and scary, what grows that requires zero effort. How easily the nasty stuff can get out of hand without doing anything. If you want 'that' stuff to grow, a great tactic is to do exactly nothing.
On the other hand, beautiful flowers require much more effort, intention, attention, and patience. There are no guarantees either. Just because you 'did all the right things' doesn't protect it from predators, weather, etc.
So is the beauty of life.
This episode goes into the weeds about what is growing around us to apply inward on what is growing within us.
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Transcript
Introduction and Reflection Prompt
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello. All right. Check it out. I'm going to start this episode differently than I have in the past. And I'm going to try something out and see how it goes. The only way I'll know how it goes is if you let me know how it goes. So please do. That's an ask I have of you today.
00:00:24
Speaker
I'm going to start this episode with a question and it's a question for you. It's for you to answer. It is not rhetorical. I would like you to say it out loud or the answer out loud to yourself.
Observations on Modern Life
00:00:38
Speaker
Um, and I genuinely mean it. That's not, I'm not like, I mean my words and I genuinely mean this question. And the question is,
00:00:55
Speaker
How are you feeling? How are you feeling right now? And just give yourself, I'll give you 10 seconds about that. And we're back full 10 seconds. I hope that did not seem like a long time.
00:01:27
Speaker
And one of the amazing things about our frequency and modes and types of communications is like a 10 second pause of nothing and silence for some people.
00:01:43
Speaker
is an eternity and is rare. And I don't mean that in a judgmental or a critical way at all. I really don't. I just know the pace people live. I was driving back from the airport yesterday dropping K off.
The Importance of Self-Reflection
00:01:59
Speaker
Lovely Newark airport hop on 78. Oh, at around, I don't know, 8 30am. So not like there was anybody out there or anything.
00:02:08
Speaker
Anyway, I'm 178 westbound, and there's people hopping over the curb to go from local to express or vice versa like you're pulling into a driveway and just like, oh, you got to get over the little sidewalk curb. It was amazing. It was insane.
00:02:29
Speaker
And and it was and it was done like it wasn't just one person who was probably going to the hospital like you know what hey check got it you're you're going to hospital hop over that curb all of you guys weren't going to hospital
00:02:45
Speaker
And it was just like normal. Now, thankfully I don't really do the morning commute rush hour thing. Um, I do a fair share of driving and by far driving in this area where I'm at, you know, that's up there. That's like in the top three of. Just stressors. It's crazy. And I'm watching this and I'm thinking there, this is like normal behavior.
00:03:17
Speaker
Anyway, crazy. Don't do that. Let's roll the hospital. But anyway, the pace at which we're living and, and, and the tempo and the inputs, you know, it's not a stretch to think that maybe not 10 seconds, but like five minutes of complete and utter silence for some folks is absolutely nerve wracking.
00:03:45
Speaker
And the thought of voluntarily subjecting oneself to five minutes of complete and utter silence where it's you and you and no, not driving. I get it. Most people listen to podcasts driving, but where you are just with yourself. That's what I want you to ask yourself. How am I feeling?
00:04:12
Speaker
and see what comes up, mean it, mean the question and mean the answer.
Balancing Daily Tasks and Self-Care
00:04:20
Speaker
So you got a little extra credit, little homework assignment for one week, find a time, five minutes complete and under silence by yourself and start off that segment of time, which yes, you have by asking yourself, how am I feeling?
00:04:42
Speaker
And see what you come up with and leave it at that We are not gonna talk about the pace of society today or I'm not gonna talk about that That's for another episode or another series of episodes but
00:05:03
Speaker
we'll talk about is a little story that happened a couple days ago. And where the pace of society thing kind of ties into this is with Kay and I past month, but it's our pace is aggressive at times, we have different types of
00:05:28
Speaker
intensities as we go through life. Sometimes we're in silos where I'm doing my stuff, she's doing her stuff and it's good stuff and we're blessed and fortunate to be able to do some of the things we're doing. But nonetheless, that can still create a silo. And the shitty thing about silos is you don't get to see what the other person's doing and you're in your own little world.
00:05:55
Speaker
One of the things that we're good at, she's better than I, but we don't neglect our health. Um, one of the things we do neglect though is our lawn.
00:06:13
Speaker
specifically our patio, our front patio. Now we don't have a lot of land, thank God, in this area, in here, because I would not want to see what that would turn into.
00:06:28
Speaker
We've got a little little you know little corner kind of how a slot or whatever and the lawn is fairly easy to cut but damn those that patio there's some nasty weeds growing and You know, it just is a function of neglect and just not paying attention. So anyway our pace our tempo our intensity has been pretty high and we've been kind of more like a silo more like an individual silo that we that we both want and
00:06:59
Speaker
The other day we were having family up for Marcus's graduation, eighth grade graduation, have a little shindig. And we were like, look, it would really be good to weed the patio. Now it's not a huge thing, but here's what we have to do. We have to stop doing
00:07:21
Speaker
all of the priority level A, the most important stuff. We have to voluntarily stop doing that and do something that we don't really have an interest in. We like the end result. Who doesn't? Who doesn't like a clean looking piece of property?
00:07:44
Speaker
but we don't really want to put the work in. And sure, there's alternatives, but you're telling me you're above picking grass. Like that's not, that's not cool. And that's not where we're at either. And a lot of times it's like, well, you know, we're just so busy. We're doing a bunch of things.
00:08:02
Speaker
you know, entrepreneurs, small business owners, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The reality of it is, we just we just neglect to do what needs to be done to maintain basic upkeep. Not all that proud of it, but that's the reality. So anyway, it was gonna be another busy day, like they all are. And
00:08:29
Speaker
It's like, look, let's take 30 minutes, go out there, weed the thing, pull up some of the dead bushes or whatever, deadhead the roses, just make it look presentable. That family coming up and, not just for family, but like for our own sake too, like the environment you keep, the environment you stay in, it has an impact on you. And it was good. We went out there, it was a beautiful day, got some vitamin D, and you know, just,
00:08:59
Speaker
just just picked weeds man just you know got all that stuff up and just did some cleaning and it felt good to do that and of course it felt good to do that because cleaning stuff up and and and performing maintenance knowing it will help with the end result that you like is cathartic and you feel good about it
00:09:21
Speaker
And we were out there, you know, picking the weeds and whatnot. And I was just thinking like, holy shit, it is incredible what grows. That does not require any effort.
00:09:36
Speaker
Now if I seeded our patio with this strain of weed and whatever fine, like all the crap that grows in the places that like, of course it's impossible to pick and you got to like, you know, use the bitty parts of your finger to jam it. Then I'd be like, Oh wow, cool. Yeah. Like I did that. But I didn't do that. I just didn't do, I didn't do a damn thing. And it's amazing.
00:10:04
Speaker
how easily the nasty shit just gets out of hand and how little and by little I mean nothing you have to do. I get, and like, that's the thing. Like if you don't want, if you want, if you want that crap to grow, the nastiness, the stuff that is more of an alien than a flower, just don't do anything.
00:10:32
Speaker
turn a blind eye, neglect, ignore, just look the other way as you're walking up the driveway like a psycho, and then that stuff will grow and it'll be plentiful.
Effort and Maintenance in Life
00:10:45
Speaker
The crap that grows without maintenance and without effort is nasty.
00:10:56
Speaker
Yes, I'm talking about weeds here. I don't think it's, I don't think it's too far of a stretch, but my, my goodness. Think about our minds. Think about our mindset. Think about our psyche or our self talk, whatever you want to call it within ourselves, the stuff that grows without really any effort. Unfortunately is usually pretty gross, pretty nasty.
00:11:26
Speaker
And sure, there are some folks who are, you know, not, oh, I guess, I don't know if it's, is it naturally more like lighthearted and happy coloccy? I honestly don't know at this point. Um, I really don't know. You know, it's like those people that are just like full of energy. Was it, are they trying? Did they get there by?
00:11:45
Speaker
just because that's how they've always been is it a product of like nurture nature what is it no idea no idea if you're like me there's some days that are like all right right I'm feeling I'm feeling it and then you know when you don't do anything or you don't pay attention to what's happening between your ears yeah so some some crap can grow and the nasty stuff really doesn't require much effort and then you add on top of it
00:12:16
Speaker
like feeding it, actually feeding the crap that grows. And for whatever reason, we're really good at that. We're so good at feeding the shit that is not purposeful, but aren't really all that good at the maintenance or feeding the stuff that we want to grow.
00:12:42
Speaker
You know, and that ease of growth of the crap is, like, it was just in my face, literally, by the other life form types of plants grown. But anyway, on the other hand, you know, the beautiful flowers and plants and in real gardens,
00:13:04
Speaker
Yeah, man. Those require, like those to grow, those require a high degree of precision. You can't just dig up some dirt, chuck some seeds in there, you know, snap your fingers, blink your eyes and shake your head and expect the thing to grow. Like that's just, ah, just not how it works. Those, those require precision intention, attention.
00:13:34
Speaker
You know, there's patients in there, ton of patients and a healthy amount of unknown time and unknown. You know, the ratio is not all that good. You get 10 seeds. I don't know. I don't, I'm not a gardener. I don't have a green thumb or anything, but like, I don't know. If I plant 10 and like five grow, that might be pretty good.
00:13:55
Speaker
I don't think the expectation is for all 10 to blossom and bloom and to be like these epic, you know, beautiful flowers. I got that's nature's nature doesn't work like that. Yeah. There's going to be some loss, some that don't grow, some that that blossomed are beautiful. So let's surprise you.
00:14:23
Speaker
but you got to put the work into that. I know. I don't, I don't think you need to be a botanist or anything like that. And of course, you know, there's, I'm sure someone out there shaking their head and like, like shaking their fist at the thing because I'm way off base on here, but you need to work at least. You need to, you need to care for it. You need to make sure it gets nutrients and you look at it, you pay attention, the awareness element,
00:14:53
Speaker
And you can put all that good work into it and it might not yield either the crop or the flowers or whatever they had hoped. You know, there's predators out there and weather, inclement weather and dogs and kids and you know, all that kind of thing that can, that can trample whatever it is you're
00:15:16
Speaker
trying to grow and yeah, you can protect it. Like we've got some arboditas and like, they look weird. They look like a poorly photoshopped Instagram model where up on top, they're like a little bit fuller on top. And then about, uh, about like a third of the way down and the lower half is like just weirdly thinner. Um, yeah, the tears are eating it. Okay.
00:15:44
Speaker
But the presence of the things that could, you know, damage it or harm it, that shouldn't be the deciding factor of whether or not you choose to plant something. But I think often and myself included, I'll not do something because of the presence of
00:16:09
Speaker
contingency or something that could possibly happen that I don't have any control over and then I rob something that could potentially be beautiful by ever I don't even give the chance because the fucking deers might eat it are you kidding me that's not what then everything should just be plastic and test tube you know I think the beauty of of
00:16:40
Speaker
beauty of the flower or the fruit and is, is its mortality. If, you know, if it was, if it, I mean, there's plastic, there's plastic plants. I don't know anyone that's ever like, wow, that plastic plant is just, it's just a thing of beauty.
00:17:05
Speaker
You know, next time you walk into your dentist's office and they've got that ridiculous tree in the corner by the coat rack, look at it and tell me if you're wowed. And that thing is going to be there forever. The only maintenance you'll do is dust it. You know, but the,
00:17:28
Speaker
the mortality and impermanence of, of, of Nate, of in this sense, nature and the flower and stuff like that, that's beautiful. And you can appreciate that because you know, it's not going to be around forever. And you know that it blossomed and it grew in spite of the predators, in spite of the, you know, on ideal soil conditions, or maybe a little bit of neglect, like it, there's a resiliency there. You know, it's meant to be seen.
00:17:57
Speaker
It's meant to be attractive to pollinate and all that stuff. I mean, how sad would it be if we never planted anything that was beautiful in the form of flowers and that kind of a thing just because of the potential risks, you know? And then there's that element of like, okay, so it's impermanent. It's going to die at some point.
00:18:29
Speaker
And then we have this rose bush. And it like, when this thing is in full bloom, my goodness, it is amazing. And sometimes we don't deadhead it. We don't trim the dead, uh, the dead heads. And amazingly enough, like that's then when the thorny stuff grows and turns all nasty.
00:18:59
Speaker
You know, you need to deadhead the roses in order to have new ones grow. You know, death kind of gives away to new life. And there's something very Zen about it. Um, for whatever Zen means to me, it's Zen.
00:19:22
Speaker
You know, you're sort of in play in the circle of life and you understand that what you're doing while you're trimming this dead-headed rose or whatever, it's to give way for a new one to grow. And what's interesting is if you don't,
00:19:46
Speaker
You know, the, the, the, the rose, the Bush is still going to send nutrients that way. And this big old ball is going to start growing behind it or closer to the root or whatever. And it's basically trying to feed something that's dead. It's a wasted waste of energy. Energy goes to this thing. You have to deadhead the rose. You have to clip the rose, cut it, remove it from the, from the Bush.
00:20:13
Speaker
to allow this flow of energy to then, to then blossom a new rose. We have to get rid of things in the way to give way for new things.
Awareness and Personal Growth
00:20:25
Speaker
And I guess that's what's pretty zen about it. That's what's pretty cool. And again, for me, like it was up close and personal with how often am I pouring energy into something that's dead?
00:20:48
Speaker
and when I should just be clipping it. And maybe it's not as dramatic as life and death, but when I really sit down and think about it, you know, that happens probably more often than I'd want to admit. Putting energy into something, and that something could be an old belief
00:21:17
Speaker
or an older version of, of me, of who I was, you know? So it's an interesting thing. It was, it was an interesting 30 minutes where this notion of letting nasty stuff grow without effort.
00:21:46
Speaker
and pouring energy into things that are no longer providing life or are blossoming and how those are parallels really for life. And here's what I want to say to tie those two together also. I'm a big advocate of awareness,
00:22:14
Speaker
and increasing awareness and improving awareness and self-awareness and awareness, awareness, awareness. I think it's the root of all possible, possible, possible and positive change, but awareness alone is not enough. I should say awareness alone does not create action. I walked by those roses. I walked by that patio hundreds of times.
00:22:46
Speaker
And it wasn't for lack of knowing that there was, you know, schmutz on the ground and weeds growing and deadheaded roses and that whole bit. The awareness was there. Hey, I had the awareness, but there was no follow through. There was zero follow through.
00:23:04
Speaker
Now why wasn't there follow through? Well, went into that stories and busy and life and you name it, a bunch of excuses, a bunch of rationalizations. And Hey, I wish it was like the only thing I rationalized and excused and had awareness about follow through was on, was on our small little garden, but that's obviously not true. So apply the information.
00:23:35
Speaker
Use the awareness for some positive action. Follow through. Actionable awareness. Not just awareness for the sake of awareness. Don't neglect your own maintenance. Don't neglect self care.
00:24:03
Speaker
Don't neglect asking yourself, how am I feeling? And giving yourself the grace and the respect of five minutes. People in your life are counting on you to set aside five minutes to check in with yourself. Ask yourself how you're doing.
Conclusion and Newsletter Promotion
00:24:34
Speaker
and then take action and have follow through so that the beautiful stuff that grows that's going to be impermanent can grow. That's all I got. If you want to talk more, please hit me up. Please reach out. If you found any of this
00:25:02
Speaker
Interesting and you want to get not only the weekly podcast. There's the dogs not only weekly podcast but be part of a weekly newsletter I send out You can go to my Instagram BTW and the ears and Here we go getting interrupted again. This is great. Hold on a second
00:25:24
Speaker
All right, so two weeks in a row. I love it. Much better reaction this time. In fact, this time is probably my fault. Anyway, it's Tuesday night, not Wednesday morning, so it happens. Anyway, talking about the PTE insider. It's my weekly newsletter.
00:25:42
Speaker
It's a little bit slower of a conversation for us to have and put in there. Some things that inspired me, some thoughts told a little bit more of like an origin story kind of deal, the first four parts. Things to find interesting, things I want to share, announcements between the ears, specifically the practice coming on up.
00:26:04
Speaker
I'm really excited to launch it. It's not going to happen this summer, or we're not going to begin this summer, so you have some time. We're going to give you the summer off, and then come into summer, we're going to get ready to work.
00:26:19
Speaker
Say all that to say if you do want to get the weekly newsletter You can go to my Instagram BTW and the ears or bill aunties click the link in my bio The link tree and then sign up for it scroll down. You can read I put up the first few The origin story posts or whatever additions so I would like to I would love for you to sign up and I
00:26:44
Speaker
and we'll be able to continue to chat. I send it out on Monday mornings at 9am. So just as a heads up, that's when it hits. If you are on the list and you didn't get it, check your spam. That could be obviously a thing with those kind of mass email type of program.
00:27:04
Speaker
That's all I got. I'm not sure what's gonna happen next week. I'm gonna be traveling, so I'll try to get this thing up as per normal, but I'm actually gonna be away, I believe, for two weeks, or the way the dates fall. So I'll do my best to provide you guys with something, but appreciate you listening to me talk about plants and stuff, and hope you have a great week. Okay, bye.